The Virtual Couch: Recent Episodes
Tony Overbay LMFT
The Virtual Couch is a podcast is hosted by Tony Overbay, a marriage and family therapist, humor columnist and motivational speaker who works with a large number of individuals and couples in a variety of areas including marriage, sexual addiction, and parenting. Tony, and his guests, hope to provide listeners with tools and strategies to help break negative patterns and embrace new and exciting challenges in their lives.
Content warning: This episode includes discussion of homicide, dismemberment, and domestic violence. Listener discretion advised.Robert Durst confessed on a hot mic — but the real story is watching a man confabulate in real time, for decades, and nearly get away with it.In the first-ever Murder on the Couch guest episode, Tony is joined by his friend Kate, a civil attorney and lifelong true crime devotee, to break down the case behind HBO's The Jinx. Kate presents the case — the 1982 disappearance of Kathie Durst, the murder of Susan Berman, the Morris Black acquittal that still defies belief — while Tony reacts in real time with the psychology underneath it all: confabulation, childhood adaptations, and what actually happens when someone is finally confronted with a lie they can't tap-dance out of.In this episode, you'll discover:Why memory is "adorable and fallible" — and how the legal system's hierarchy of evidence accounts for exactly thatHow Durst's defense team built reasonable doubt around an admitted dismemberment (and why the missing evidence mattered more than the conceded facts)The difference between psychopathy and sociopathy — nature vs. nurture, charm vs. rage, and why nonviolent sociopaths walk among usWhat a masterful cross-examination and an eight-hour couples intensive have in common: staying with someone's discomfort until the adaptation collapsesWhy breakthroughs so often have a "shelf life" — and what it takes for real change to stickTony Overbay is a licensed marriage and family therapist who has spent decades watching people confabulate, deflect, and defend in real time — just usually not on the witness stand.If you've ever watched someone rewrite reality right in front of you and wondered how they believe their own story, this episode is for you.Please follow Tony on Instagram @virtual.couch on Tiktok @virtualcouch on Facebook https://www.facebook.com/tonyoverbaylmft and on Substack https://thevirtualcouch.substack.com/ You can reach out to Tony through his website tonyoverbay.com or by emailing contact @ tonyoverbay.comContent warning: This episode includes discussion of homicide, dismemberment, and domestic violence. Listener discretion advised.Robert Durst confessed on a hot mic — but the real story is watching a man confabulate in real time, for decades, and nearly get away with it.In the first-ever Murder on the Couch guest episode, Tony is joined by his friend Kate, a civil attorney and lifelong true crime devotee, to break down the case behind HBO's The Jinx. Kate presents the case — the 1982 disappearance of Kathie Durst, the murder of Susan Berman, the Morris Black acquittal that still defies belief — while Tony reacts in real time with the psychology underneath it all: confabulation, childhood adaptations, and what actually happens when someone is finally confronted with a lie they can't tap-dance out of.In this episode, you'll discover:Why memory is "adorable and fallible" — and how the legal system's hierarchy of evidence accounts for exactly thatHow Durst's defense team built reasonable doubt around an admitted dismemberment (and why the missing evidence mattered more than the conceded facts)The difference between psychopathy and sociopathy — nature vs. nurture, charm vs. rage, and why nonviolent sociopaths walk among usWhat a masterful cross-examination and an eight-hour couples intensive have in common: staying with someone's discomfort until the adaptation collapsesWhy breakthroughs so often have a "shelf life" — and what it takes for real change to stickTony Overbay is a licensed marriage and family therapist who has spent decades watching people confabulate, deflect, and defend in real time — just usually not on the witness stand.If you've ever watched someone rewrite reality right in front of you and wondered how they believe their own story, this episode is for you.Please follow Tony on Instagram @virtual.couch on Tiktok @virtualcouch on Facebook https://www.facebook.com/tonyoverbaylmft and on Substack https://thevirtualcouch.substack.com/ You can reach out to Tony through his website tonyoverbay.com or by emailing contact @ tonyoverbay.com
What if the reason difficult conversations feel so impossible isn’t because you’re too sensitive, too anxious, or bad at communicating?What if you’ve spent years trying to find the perfect words—only to have your questions dismissed, your feelings turned against you, or the conversation somehow become about everything you did wrong?In this crossover episode of The Virtual Couch and Waking Up to Narcissism, Tony explores what has to happen before you can truly say the difficult thing. He breaks down the difference between ordinary fear and a nervous system that has learned through experience that vulnerability may come at a cost.You’ll learn why explaining yourself more doesn’t always lead to being understood, how emotionally mature and immature people respond differently to difficult conversations, and why your partner’s defensiveness doesn't automatically mean you communicated poorly.Tony also explores the importance of knowing who you are, learning to tolerate discomfort, recognizing when you’re trying to manage someone else’s emotions, and speaking from integrity without making your peace dependent on the other person’s response.This episode isn’t about deciding that everything is someone else’s fault. It’s about becoming honest enough to recognize what belongs to you, what doesn’t, and whether the problem is really who you’ve believed yourself to be—or the relationship pattern you’ve been trying desperately to survive.You'll learn how to:- Recognize the catastrophic "simulations" your brain runs — and why it files imagined disasters right next to real memories- Spot the difference between managing your partner's emotions and actually allowing them their own experience- Say the true thing from a grounded place instead of a needy, validation-seeking one- Understand why the leap is the last step, not the first — and why the "okayness" on the other side is something you build before you jumpDrawing on more than two decades as a licensed marriage and family therapist, Tony walks through what actually gets you across the chasm — and it's quieter, slower, and stranger than "just be braver."Part two lands soon — send your questions and situations to contact@tonyoverbay.com and Tony will work them into the next episode.00:00 Crossover Episode Intro01:02 Bungee Jumping Story05:36 Differentiation Explained09:09 Codependency Fried Clams12:20 Mature vs Immature Dynamics17:03 Fine Text Example22:50 Constructing Your Crucible25:25 Therapy Gridlock Scripts27:44 Attack Surface Vulnerability33:27 Cliff Edge Say It35:27 Leap of Faith Metaphor38:41 Why Just Jump Fails40:53 Advice and Validation Trap44:47 Fear Is a Story46:52 Emotional Immaturity Dynamics49:20 Brain Prediction Machine58:16 Grounding Before the Leap01:03:29 Growth Edge vs Safety Data01:08:13 Wrap Up and Next StepsPlease follow Tony on Instagram @virtual.couch, on TikTok @virtualcouch, on Facebook https://www.facebook.com/tonyoverbaylmft, and on Substack https://thevirtualcouch.substack.com/ You can reach out to Tony through his website tonyoverbay.com or by emailing contact @ tonyoverbay.com
Why does certainty feel safer than curiosity—and why does that quietly run so many of our relationships?In this Q&A crossover, Tony answers three listener questions that sound completely unrelated—a spouse who looked through a phone without asking, someone who keeps pulling conversations back to themselves, and why confident, certain voices dominate public life—then reveals the single thread connecting all three: how hard it is to tolerate uncertainty, and why curiosity (not certainty) is where growth actually lives. If you've ever felt the pull to fill in the blanks, win the argument, or get reassurance right now, this one will make you feel seen.In this episode, you'll:Reframe the phone fight using Tony's four pillars of a connected conversation—because it's almost never about the phone.Understand why your brain treats not knowing as a threat (it's a "don't get killed device") and how to stay present in the gray.Build a well inside yourself instead of chasing validation in every conversation—Tony's "emotionally dehydrated" metaphor for growing up with conditional self-worth.Tell the difference between confidence rooted in security and performative certainty that needs an audience.Trade self-monitoring for genuine curiosity using implicit memory and ACT—because you're not broken, you're human.Tony Overbay is a licensed marriage and family therapist with more than two decades of clinical experience helping people become curious rather than defensive.If the noise of everyone being so sure has left you exhausted, press play—there's room here to not know, and to grow from it.00:00 Q&A Episode Setup01:34 Three Questions Theme05:18 Why Curiosity Matters07:25 Brain Craves Certainty09:03 Ambiguity Feels Threatening10:49 Stress Kills Curiosity13:14 Cognitive Flexibility14:38 Certainty Gets Rewarded17:39 Phone Privacy Conflicts22:40 Four Pillars Framework26:49 Validation Seeking Habits28:37 Desert and Thirst Metaphor31:28 Validation Seeking Pattern32:04 Curiosity Over Self-Monitoring34:05 Boundaries With Unavailable People35:30 You Are Not Broken36:19 ACT Mindset Shift37:48 Language Learning Analogy40:24 From Self-Criticism to Acceptance42:06 Certainty vs Wisdom48:27 Insecurity and Emotional Immaturity50:43 Narcissism as Defense56:27 Healthy Ego vs Defensive Ego01:02:27 Leadership and Group Dynamics01:05:21 Choose Curiosity and ClosePlease follow Tony on Instagram @virtual.couch on Tiktok @virtualcouch on Facebook https://www.facebook.com/tonyoverbaylmft and on Substack https://thevirtualcouch.substack.com/ You can reach out to Tony through his website tonyoverbay.com or by emailing contact @ tonyoverbay.com
Mindfulness isn't about emptying your mind or finally feeling calm—and believing it was is probably why you quit.Your emotions fire before your thinking brain ever catches up, which means most of your reactions—the defensiveness, the cravings, the snap judgments—are already in motion before you "decide" anything. In this conversation, Tony unpacks the neuroscience behind that gap and the genuinely doable practice that helps you notice your patterns sooner, build a pause, and respond to your life instead of just reacting to it.In this episode, you'll:Discover why you "feel before you think"—the low road and high road your brain takes, and why emotions fire roughly two and a half times faster than thoughtsLearn to build the pause that turns automatic reactions (yes, including the fourth Oreo) into actual choicesUntangle the real difference between meditation and mindfulness—and why the practice has roots in everything from Buddhist tradition to Christian contemplative prayer, no conversion requiredUnderstand why silence can feel so unbearable that people will choose a mild electric shock over sitting alone with their thoughts—and what that reveals about emotional avoidanceStrengthen the "runway" between your internal smoke alarm and your inner fire chief using sleep, breath, and a practice you can start in the next sixty secondsTony Overbay is a licensed marriage and family therapist and host of The Virtual Couch, drawing on his clinical work and four-plus years of daily practice to make mindfulness feel approachable instead of intimidating.Stay through the end for a short guided practice you can take with you—and remember, you're not failing when your mind wanders. You're not broken. You're human. Start with one breath today.00:00 One Year Post Fusion01:02 Trusting Physical Therapy02:56 From Woo Woo to Mindfulness05:05 No Magic Beans10:03 The Pause Changes Everything14:12 Stick Not Snake Brain19:09 Oreos and Autopilot22:07 Mindfulness and Maturity28:56 Meditation Practice Tiers30:31 My Daily Practice Origin34:46 Meditation vs Mindfulness35:28 Meditation Roots East West38:02 Skepticism and Ownership40:20 Meditation Styles Overview42:34 Mindfulness Misconceptions45:47 Mindfulness in Daily Life48:33 Mindfulness History and MBSR52:10 What Mindfulness Is Not55:33 Brainwaves and Frequencies58:47 Entrainment and Binaural Beats01:02:52 Natural Sounds and Safety01:05:15 Apophenia Pattern Seeking01:06:41 Why Silence Feels Hard01:10:22 Stimulation Dopamine Avoidance01:11:46 Back to Beats and Apps01:12:08 Meditation Apps I Use01:12:26 Monroe Institute Hemi Sync01:13:51 Gateway Process Hype01:15:01 Binaural Beats Reality Check01:16:07 Breathwork Science Basics01:17:38 Vagus Nerve and HRV01:19:33 Nasal vs Mouth Breathing01:22:20 Diaphragmatic Breathing01:23:43 Neurons Wire Together01:25:01 Startle Response Runway01:27:54 Lengthening the Runway01:30:32 What We Learned Today01:32:46 Guided Mindfulness Practice01:38:19 This Too Shall Pass01:39:54 You Are Not Broken01:43:04 Closing Breath and GoodbyePlease follow Tony on Instagram @virtual.couch on Tiktok @virtualcouch on Facebook https://www.facebook.com/tonyoverbaylmft and on Substack https://thevirtualcouch.substack.com/ You can reach out to Tony through his website tonyoverbay.com or by emailing contact @ tonyoverbay.com
A heads-up before you press play: this is a bonus crossover from my true crime podcast, Murder on the Couch, dropping into your Virtual Couch / Waking Up to Narcissism feed. It's heavier than usual and opens with a disturbing familicide case that I don't sugarcoat, so if that's not where you are right now, it's completely okay to sit this one out and come back when you're ready. If you stay, I use the case to get at the things we talk about all the time—shame, compartmentalization, the altruistic defense, emotional immaturity, and differentiation—because the behavior is horrific, but the psychology underneath it is deeply human.John List killed his wife, his mother, and his three children—then walked away convinced God would understand.Murder on the Couch is back. Licensed therapist Tony Overbay reopens one of true crime's most chilling family annihilation cases, but not for the manhunt or the famous 18 years List spent hiding in plain sight as "Bob Clark." Tony sits with the question that actually keeps him up at night: how does a devout, rule-following Sunday school teacher reach a place where murder becomes, in his own mind, the most loving thing he could do? If you've ever performed "fine" while something was quietly falling apart inside you, this one lands closer to home than you'd expect.In this episode:Untangle guilt ("I did something bad") from shame ("I am bad")—and why shame left in the dark only grows heavierSpot the "altruistic defense": how control and harm get repackaged as love, devotion, and protectionSee how rigidity, compartmentalization, and a performed self can hollow a person out long before any crisis hitsLearn the ACT distinction between the conceptualized self (the story) and the observing self (the awareness)—and why List had no one home to catch him when the story collapsedDrawing on acceptance and commitment therapy, David Schnarch's work on differentiation, and Richard Rohr's reframe of shame, Tony brings 600-plus episodes of clinical insight to the cases that won't let him go.Shame grows in concealment and shrinks in connection. And Tony's looking for a co-host—if a case has gotten under your skin and you know why, email contact@tonyoverbay.com and pitch it.00:00 Bonus Episode Setup00:21 Murder on the Couch Returns02:56 Content Warning and Themes05:53 John List Case Opens08:46 Show Relaunch and Co-Host Invite12:40 John List Background and Unraveling17:31 Compartmentalization Explained19:53 Shame Versus Guilt24:21 ACT Defusion and Healing25:47 Shame Architecture of John List28:21 Altruistic Defense and Covert Narcissism30:49 Narcissistic Injury31:26 Altruistic Defense35:32 Love Versus Control36:29 Rigidity Explained38:08 Rules And Fragility42:06 Eighteen Years Hidden45:40 Conceptualized Self48:35 Excavating The Self52:56 Why This Case Haunts54:31 Faith And Performance58:07 Tell The Truth59:41 Closing And Co-HostsPlease follow Tony on Instagram @virtual.couch on Tiktok @virtualcouch on Facebook https://www.facebook.com/tonyoverbaylmft and on Substack https://thevirtualcouch.substack.com/ You can reach out to Tony through his website tonyoverbay.com or by emailing contact @ tonyoverbay.com
Your partner said all the right things. So why do you feel MORE alone than before you opened up? Welcome to positive invalidation.That strange ache—being reassured into invisibility—has a name. It's what happens when "you're so good at your job, don't even worry about it" lands like a door quietly closing on what you actually feel. In this episode, Tony Overbay unpacks the science of validation, the paradox underneath it, and why the partner who soothes you fastest may be regulating their own nervous system, not seeing yours.Through the story of Archie and Veronica, this episode explores:Why positive invalidation stings more than the obvious kind—and how to spot it inside your own well-meaning reassurancesDr. Marsha Linehan's "kernel of truth" definition of validation, plus Tony's four pillars of a connected conversationDavid Schnarch's distinction between other-validated and self-validated intimacy—and why needing validation is the real trapThe co-regulation research (including the famous fMRI hand-holding study) that explains why your partner's bad day becomes your emergencyThe four stages of competence, from "unconscious incompetence" to actually living it—and why stage two is where most people quit therapyHALT, upstream versus downstream work, and a surprising tangent into energy landscapes and Buddhist non-selfAs a licensed marriage and family therapist who's spent decades guiding couples back toward each other, Tony weaves together DBT, ACT, and Schnarch's differentiation work to answer one question: can you give validation as a gift without needing it back?If something here resonates, share it with someone who needs to hear that they're not broken—they're human.Please follow Tony on Instagram @virtual.couch on Tiktok @virtualcouch on Facebook https://www.facebook.com/tonyoverbaylmft and on Substack https://thevirtualcouch.substack.com/ You can reach out to Tony through his website tonyoverbay.com or by emailing contact @ tonyoverbay.com00:00 Welcome and Disclaimer02:28 Meet Archie and Veronica03:07 A Compliment That Hurts05:08 Positive Invalidation Explained06:35 Where Invalidation Comes From09:10 Science of Validation and DBT09:49 Four Pillars of Connection12:31 Validation Research and Polarization14:52 Schnarch and Differentiation18:05 Self-Validated Intimacy19:08 Non-Self and Interdependence22:58 Co-Regulation and Fusion26:08 When Comfort Is for You28:11 Co-Regulation as Hope28:57 When Growth Triggers Chaos30:03 Energy Landscapes Explained32:01 Biology of Pushback35:02 Validation Paradox38:12 Self-Validated Intimacy41:12 Building Self-Validation46:20 Veronica and Archie Revisited47:09 Upstream vs Downstream51:37 Four Stages of Change55:00 Key Takeaways and Wrap
The dishwasher fight you've had a thousand times? Or is it about the laundry, where you’re going to eat, making the bed, and cleaning the kitchen? The truth is, it’s never really been about the dishwasher (or laundry, eating, making the bed, etc).Couples therapist Tony Overbay walks through Jack and Jill, a 25-year marriage stuck in a low-grade war over how to load the dishes, and reveals what those endless arguments are actually carrying: a need to be seen, an effort that's gone unregistered, and two adaptive children from two completely different childhood homes still running the show. If you've ever been mid-fight and thought, "How are we doing this again?"—this episode finally names the pattern.In this episode you'll:Recognize the Trojan horse argument—how a fight about tongs, rinse agents, and which rack secretly carries the vulnerable conversation you haven't been able to say out loudSpot the four signs you're stuck in one: repetition without resolution, the running tab of unacknowledged effort, kitchen sinking (John Gottman's term), and the hollow win that doesn't feel like a winSee how your adaptive child (Terry Real) brought the rules of your childhood home into your marriage—and why your nervous system can't tell the difference between a predator and your spouse walking in with "that look"Leave the waiting room—where both partners want connection but each waits for the other to move first—through differentiation (David Schnarch), not conditional effortTry three guided exercises—open the horse, flip the ledger, and one unilateral move—designed for one person, no partner participation requiredDrawing on nearly 20 years of couples therapy, his training in Emotionally Focused Therapy, and his four pillars of a connected conversation, Tony reframes the most exhausting argument in your marriage as a map—not a verdict. You're not broken. You're human. And the argument you keep having is pointing somewhere useful.The Magnetic Marriage course is getting a complete overhaul that builds in everything covered here. Get on the waitlist at tonyoverbay.com/magnetic.Please follow Tony on Instagram @virtual.couch on Tiktok @virtualcouch on Facebook https://www.facebook.com/tonyoverbaylmft and on Substack https://thevirtualcouch.substack.com/ You can reach out to Tony through his website tonyoverbay.com or by emailing contact @ tonyoverbay.com00:00 Welcome and Setup01:03 Dishwasher War Story01:57 How Dishes Become Proxy04:17 Inside the Dishwasher Debate07:45 Jack Stops Helping10:08 Childhood Dish Rules13:38 Seen and Validated15:16 Trojan Horse Concept18:53 Four Trojan Horse Signs23:26 Not a Relationship Crisis25:05 Why Vulnerability Feels Dangerous26:17 Adaptive Child Patterns30:52 Nervous System Triggers32:18 Amygdala Hijack Mode33:44 Learning New Skills34:55 The Waiting Room Trap39:46 Conditional Effort Stalemate42:05 Trojan Horse Reframe44:27 Differentiation Explained47:29 Meaning We Assign51:37 Impermanence and Hope53:54 Reaching Without Scorekeeping56:58 Dishwasher Reimagined01:00:36 Tuesday Night Practice01:02:44 Closing Encouragement
You lie to your dentist. You lie in therapy. And here's the uncomfortable truth — the patterns you think you're hiding are hiding nothing.Tony Overbay, LMFT, sits down with friend and dentist Dr. Mark Redford to unpack one of the most fascinating overlaps between dentistry and human psychology: impression management — and why you simply cannot cram for the test of life. From the dental chair to the therapy couch, the habits you actually practice tell a story no amount of performance can cover up. If you've ever "prepared" for a dentist appointment by flossing for three days straight, this episode is your mirror.In this episode, you'll explore:Why your dentist can spot that you don't floss before you even open your mouth — and what that reveals about the limits of impression management in every area of your lifeThe concept of "cramming for the test of life" and why emotional growth, empathy, and trust can't be memorized the night beforeHow co-regulation works in the dental chair (and in your closest relationships) — and why calm presence is more powerful than joining someone in their chaosThe "post-cleaning motivation shelf life" — why that I'm a new person feeling lasts about two weeks, whether you're leaving the dentist or your first therapy sessionThe difference between unconscious incompetence and conscious incompetence — and why knowing you're avoiding something is actually meaningful progressThe hidden burnout drivers in helping professions, why pathological kindness can work against you, and what it looks like when patients (or clients) need someone to blameTony Overbay is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist with over 20 years of experience helping individuals and couples move from stuck and confused to grounded and growing.If Dr. Redford's calm, co-regulating presence sounds like exactly what your nervous system needs in a dentist, you can reach him at info@redfordsmiles.com, follow him on Instagram @redfordsmiles, or visit redfordsmiles.com. And while you're at it — his wife Amy offers cooking classes for all ages, from cookie decorating to high-end culinary experiences. Find her on Instagram @onecutecookiekitchen or at onecutecookie.net.Whether you're finally ready to be honest with your dentist — or with yourself — tonyoverbay.com is a great place to start. If you're a man who wants to build real emotional strength (not just talk about it), the Men's Emotional Architects group is open. Reach out at contact@tonyoverbay.com to learn more. The updated Magnetic Marriage course is also coming soon — get on the waitlist at tonyoverbay.com/magnetic.Please follow Tony on Instagram @virtual.couch on TikTok @virtualcouch on Facebook https://www.facebook.com/tonyoverbaylmft and on Substack https://thevirtualcouch.substack.com/ You can reach out to Tony through his website tonyoverbay.com or by emailing contact @ tonyoverbay.com
Why do the same conversations keep "resolving" without anything actually changing? Tony and his daughter Mackie unpack what they call "mouth sounds"—when someone says all the right words, uses the right tone, even touches your hand, and you walk away thinking this time it's different… but it never is.
This episode dives deep into the anxious-avoidant attachment cycle and why your nervous system chose your partner long before your conscious mind caught up. Tony walks through the Anxious/Avoidant attachment loop while Mackie checks boxes in real time—and then shares the raw, hard-won lessons from her own recent breakup in her twenties that every person navigating heartbreak needs to hear.
In this episode, you'll discover:
Why "mouth sounds" feel so convincing—and how both partners are projecting completely different realities onto the same conversation
The anxious-avoidant origin story: how your childhood wired you to find the familiar disguised as the opposite
Why consideration may be the highest form of love—and what it actually looks like in practice
Mackie's breakup playbook: feel it instead of numbing it, no feeling is ever final, there's no correct timeline for healing, and being alone beats settling
The hardest truth about leaving: sometimes choosing yourself means handing the other person the gift of getting to play the victim—and learning to be okay with that
Tony Overbay, LMFT, draws from over 20 years of couples therapy and 1,500+ couples to explain the patterns most people can't see until it's almost too late. Whether you're stuck in a cycle, fresh out of a breakup, or watching someone you love go through it—this one's for you.
Head to tonyoverbay.com/magnetic to join the wait list for the Magnetic Marriage course and start building the tools nobody handed you off the factory floor.
00:00 When Talks Repeat
01:11 Meet Tony and Mouth Sounds
02:21 Projection Behind Promises
03:34 Anxious Avoidant Framework
05:02 Mackey Breakup Lessons
06:04 Course Plug and Tools
09:58 Mackey Joins the Show
11:34 Dating After Breakup
13:04 Why Words Hook Us
15:05 Jack and Jill Origins
21:10 How They Attract
23:02 When Emotions Trigger Withdrawal
24:09 Differentiation and Change
30:05 Consideration as Love
31:32 Four Pillars and Victim Mode
33:15 Anxious Avoidant Patterns
33:55 Feeling Considered Matters
34:28 Inappropriate Outside Connection
36:09 Boundaries Trust Walk Away
37:36 Training What You Tolerate
40:46 Rapid Fire Lessons Begin
41:17 Feel It Dont Numb
45:00 Trust After Betrayal
48:54 No Feeling Is Final
50:13 Impermanence Changes Everything
53:00 No Timeline For Healing
57:48 Leaving And Being Villain
01:00:42 Wrap Up And Where To Find Us
Please follow Tony on Instagram @virtual.couch on Tiktok @virtualcouch on Facebook https://www.facebook.com/tonyoverbaylmft and on Substack https://thevirtualcouch.substack.com/ You can reach out to Tony through his website tonyoverbay.com or by emailing contact @ tonyoverbay.com
Contact Tony at contact@tonyoverbay.com to learn more about his Emotional Architects men's group.
To learn more about Tony's upcoming re-release of the Magnetic Marriage course visit https://www.tonyoverbay.com/magnetic. Sign up for his newsletter through the link at https://linktr.ee/virtualcouch
Available NOW: Tony's "Magnetic Marriage Mini-Course" is only $25. https://magneticmarriage.mykajabi.com/magnetic-marriage-mini-course
"I was triggered" vs. "I chose"—what if both are true, and neither gets to the real problem?When a listener sent Tony a viral video challenging people to replace "I was triggered" with "I chose," it sparked a deeper conversation about accountability, nervous system science, and the shame-based frameworks many of us inherited long before we ever heard the word "trigger." This episode holds two truths at once: yes, adults are responsible for their behavior—and the initial nervous system activation that precedes a choice is real, automatic, and not a moral failure.Episode highlights:Why the word "trigger" can feel like a life sentence to trauma survivors—and an identity assignment to the people who hurt themRick Hanson's "first and second dart" framework and the four stages of change from unconscious incompetence to unconscious competenceThe critical distinction between activation and action—and why that space is where all growth livesHow Richard Rohr's reframe of sin as brokenness needing healing (not judgment) connects directly to why shame never produces lasting changeHow shame gets installed in childhood before a four-year-old's brain can separate "I did something bad" from "I am bad"—and how ACT defusion offers a way out00:00 Welcome and Course Plug01:08 Listener Email and The Bet03:33 Nick Pollard Trigger Reframe04:57 Agreeing With Nuance08:58 Trigger Word Cultural Weight13:21 First and Second Darts15:08 Four Stages of Change21:21 Agency vs Nervous System24:00 Pathologically Kind and Shame26:46 Language Shapes Experience27:18 Sin Versus Healing28:36 Rohr Reframes Brokenness31:08 Shame Keeps Us Stuck31:57 How Shame Gets Installed37:03 ACT And Defusion40:13 Radical Acceptance Lens41:52 Original Sin Culture Myth46:43 Kingdom Of God Within49:18 What We Learned Today51:37 Closing ReflectionsTony Overbay is a licensed marriage and family therapist, betrayal trauma certified, and host of The Virtual Couch, Waking Up to Narcissism, and Love, ADHD podcasts.If the idea of change through agency—not shame—resonates with you, explore Tony's Magnetic Marriage course at tonyoverbay.com/magneticPlease follow Tony on Instagram @virtual.couch on Tiktok @virtualcouch on Facebook https://www.facebook.com/tonyoverbaylmft and on Substack https://thevirtualcouch.substack.com/ You can reach out to Tony through his website tonyoverbay.com or by emailing contact @ tonyoverbay.com
You said, "That sounds really hard," so why is your partner still upset?It's called the Empathy Dash — that moment you touch your partner's pain just long enough to check a box, then sprint toward solutions, silver linings, or your own experience. In over 1,500 couples sessions, Tony has watched this pattern quietly erode trust while both partners swear they're trying. This episode unpacks why your empathy isn't landing, what your nervous system is actually doing when you rush to fix, and a deceptively simple practice that changes everything.In this episode, you'll discover:Why "me too" on the inside lands like "not you" on the outside — and the intent-vs-impact gap where relationships slowly erodeStealing Thunder: the real-time couples session moment that perfectly captures how sharing gets hijacked before it even landsHow your Adaptive Child — the survival strategy that kept you safe growing up — is now sabotaging your closest relationshipThe neuroscience of co-regulation and why your calm presence does more than your best advice ever couldThe 3-Before-1 Rule: a concrete practice for staying present when every instinct says fix, solve, or fleeTony Overbay, LMFT, draws from over two decades of couples therapy, Terry Real's relational framework, and Dan Siegel's interpersonal neurobiology to redefine what empathy actually looks like in practice.If you've ever left a conversation thinking "I said all the right things" while your partner felt completely unseen — this one's for you. You're not broken. You just don't know what you don't know yet.00:00 Welcome and Where to Follow01:15 Retreat Story Mental Load Misfire04:56 Intent vs Impact in Bids06:08 Attack Surface and Pathological Kindness09:37 Sequencing the Conversation12:26 Stealing Thunder Named17:02 Catching the Thunder Grab18:17 Drive By Empathy Metaphor21:03 Empathy vs Sympathy Basics22:36 Why Optimism Can Dismiss24:02 What Empathy Actually Does26:58 Real Life Fixing Examples28:39 Spotting the Empathy Dash29:30 Why We Do It30:12 Adaptive Child Origins31:39 Fixer vs Avoider Examples33:49 Co-Regulation Explained34:44 Two Ways to Respond37:16 Four Pillars Framework38:11 Questions Before Comments38:58 Curiosity in Action42:19 Three Before One Rule45:40 When Effort Feels Unseen47:35 Handling Your Triggers49:27 Closing EncouragementGet on the waitlist today for Tony's upcoming Magnetic Marriage live course! Head to https://tonyoverbay.com/magneticContact Tony at contact@tonyoverbay.com to learn more about his Emotional Architects men's group.
What happens when your greatest strengths—your empathy, your willingness to self-reflect, your sensitivity—become the very tools someone uses to convince you everything is your fault? In this crossover episode with therapist Angela De Hoyos, ALC, Tony explores why validation feels like survival when you were raised in an emotionally unpredictable home. You learned that love could vanish without warning—so you became hypervigilant, endlessly working to secure a connection that was never yours to earn. Now you may find yourself starving for validation from the one person who can't hold it steadily.You can learn more about Angela by visiting her website https://www.findingbalancecounseling.com/ and subscribe to her podcast “Finding Balance with Mental Health and Spirituality” here https://www.findingbalancecounseling.com/podcastEPISODE HIGHLIGHTS:Understand the origins of validation: why we learn we exist through others' responses—and how that wiring gets exploitedDiscover why "pathologically kind" people attract emotionally immature partners—and keep trying harder when it doesn't workRecognize the trap of "if it's my fault, I can fix it"—and why that belief keeps you chasing validation instead of building self-trustLearn the crucial difference between validation and agreement—you can acknowledge someone's experience without abandoning your ownBuild a 90% solid sense of self so you stop outsourcing your worth to people who use it against you00:00 Introduction and Episode Overview01:25 Guest Introduction: Angela de Hoyos03:16 The Magnetic Marriage Course Pitch06:20 Understanding Validation and Emotional Immaturity08:15 Therapeutic Insights and Parenting Dynamics20:46 The Concept of Co-Regulation28:40 Exploring the Concept of Existence and Value29:05 The Story of Jill: Unpredictable Childhood30:33 Understanding Validation and Recognition33:50 The Role of Self-Validation40:59 Spiritual Perspectives on Validation51:25 Final Thoughts and ReflectionsGet on the waitlist today for Tony's upcoming Magnetic Marriage live course! Head to https://tonyoverbay.com/magneticIf you are interested in joining Tony's private Facebook group for women in narcissistic or emotionally immature relationships of any type, please reach out to him at contact@tonyoverbay.com or through the form on the website, HTTP://www.tonyoverbay.comIf you are a man interested in joining Tony's "Emotional Architects" group to learn how to better navigate your relationship with a narcissistic or emotionally immature partner or learn how to become more emotionally mature yourself, please reach out to Tony at contact@tonyoverbay.com or through the form on the website, HTTP:www.tonyoverbay.com
Why does your spouse get to want things while you're drowning in responsibility? That resentment you feel watching your partner pursue hobbies while you manage everything isn't petty—it reveals what Tony identifies as one of the "fundamental wounds" in modern marriages: the split between duty and desire.Through the story of Sarah and Michael—a couple weeks from divorce—Tony explores how one partner can become a pure, exhausting obligation while the other escapes into hollow pleasures. Both are starving for what the other has, but neither can see it. You'll discover why the "serpent's trick" convinces us that what we want and what we should do are enemies when they were always meant to work together.In this episode, you'll learn:Why feeling like "a machine that keeps everyone running" signals you've lost connection to your own desires—and why reclaiming them is actually part of your duty as a parent and partnerThe difference between discipline that crushes your soul and discipline that creates freedom (hint: it depends on whether it's aligned with your actual values or just "socially compliant goals")How asking "what can I do to help?" often puts the mental load right back on your overwhelmed spouse.Why Michael's gaming and biking felt hollow even though Sarah assumed he was "living his best life."The concept of impermanence—and why accepting that your beliefs will evolve is liberating, not threateningTony Overbay, LMFT, draws from over 20 years of couples therapy and 1,500+ couples to share the exact framework that helped Sarah and Michael move from combat to connection.Ready to stop the cycle? Join the Magnetic Marriage waitlist at tonyoverbay.com/magnetic and learn what you don't know you don't know about reconnecting with your partner.00:00 Introduction and Host Background00:35 Common Relationship Challenges01:53 The Magnetic Marriage Program02:59 Today's Episode: Overwhelmed by Responsibilities03:37 Meet Sarah and Michael: A Struggling Couple03:57 Sarah's Perspective: Duty Over Desire13:12 Michael's Perspective: Desire Over Duty17:49 The Core Wound: Duty vs. Desire21:50 Connecting to Universal Archetypes28:10 Embracing Change and Growth28:26 Embracing Impermanence28:45 Healing Through Change29:34 The Paradox of Certainty29:55 Sarah and Michael's Journey32:20 The Garden of Eden Metaphor33:07 The Serpent's Trick34:40 Modern Examples of Duty vs. Desire38:00 The Role of Discipline40:42 Integrating Duty and Desire48:42 Personal Reflections on Duty49:53 Values vs. Socially Compliant Goals54:05 Sarah and Michael's Progress56:24 Conclusion and Call to ActionGet on the waitlist today for Tony's upcoming Magnetic Marriage live course! Head to https://tonyoverbay.com/magneticContact Tony at contact@tonyoverbay.com to learn more about his Emotional Architects men's group.
Tony addresses a listener's question about feeling anxious due to a communication lapse with her husband. He delves deep into the nuances of relationship dynamics, emphasizing the importance of honest and continuous communication. He shares insights on how patterns in behavior reflect true priorities, touches on the significance of co-regulation, and explores how small, seemingly insignificant moments can significantly impact intimacy and connection over time. Whether dealing with newlywed issues or long-term relationship challenges, Tony provides practical advice on building trust and emotional intimacy. Submit your questions through his website, http://tonyoverbay.com00:00 Introduction and Episode Overview00:43 How to Submit Your Questions01:42 First Question: Communication in Marriage03:14 Understanding Emotional Reactions09:09 The Importance of Co-Regulation15:00 Selective Competence in Relationships24:52 Intimacy and Sexuality in Marriage30:10 Conclusion and Final ThoughtsContact Tony at contact@tonyoverbay.com to learn more about his Emotional Architects men's group.And visit https://julie-dejesus.com/cruise to learn more about Tony and his friend Julie De Jesus's "I See You Living" cruise, a 5-night Western Caribbean Cruise from January 24-29, 2026 aboard the Royal Caribbean Cruise Line. To learn more about Tony's upcoming re-release of the Magnetic Marriage course, his Pathback Recovery course, and more, sign up for his newsletter through the link at https://linktr.ee/virtualcouchAvailable NOW: Tony's "Magnetic Marriage Mini-Course" is only $25. https://magneticmarriage.mykajabi.com/magnetic-marriage-mini-course
What if your New Year's resolutions keep failing because they were never really yours to begin with? Most goals we set aren't chosen—they're inherited from magazines, social media, parents, or that version of ourselves we think we're supposed to become. That's why they don't stick. In this episode, Tony shares his decades-long "pushup obsession" and how Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) finally broke the cycle—not through more discipline, but by discovering what actually mattered to him.What you'll learn:- Why "socially compliant goals" sabotage your motivation before you even start- The crucial difference between values (your compass) and goals (checkboxes)—and why confusing them keeps you stuck- How to use lead measures instead of lag measures to build sustainable change- The "Passengers on the Bus" technique for moving forward even when self-doubt is loud- A simple 5-step "Get Back on the Saddle" plan for when you inevitably wobbleWith over 20 years of clinical experience, Tony explains why you're not broken—you're human—and offers a framework for building a life that actually feels like yours.Ready to stop beating yourself up and start driving toward what matters? This might be the last resolution episode you'll ever need.00:00 Introduction: Are Your Goals Really Yours?00:44 Meet Tony Overbay: Your Guide to Self-Improvement01:57 The New Year's Resolution Dilemma04:03 The Pushup Story: A Lesson in Values12:34 Understanding Socially Compliant Goals15:04 Experiential Avoidance: The Trap of Avoiding Discomfort20:26 Lag Measures vs. Lead Measures: The Key to Achieving Goals27:28 Values vs. Goals: The Core of Sustainable Change38:52 Perceived Value vs. Perceived Capability40:57 Understanding Perceived Capability and Value41:46 Corporate America and Disengagement42:50 New Year's Resolutions and Motivation46:18 Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) vs. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT)54:47 The Power of ACT in Therapy01:00:58 Practical Steps for Getting Back on Track01:06:05 Embracing Emotions and Moving Forward01:08:01 Conclusion: Driving the Bus Towards What MattersContact Tony at contact@tonyoverbay.com to learn more about his Emotional Architects men's group.And visit https://julie-dejesus.com/cruise to learn more about Tony and his friend Julie De Jesus's "I See You Living" cruise, a 5-night Western Caribbean Cruise from January 24-29, 2026 aboard the Royal Caribbean Cruise Line. To learn more about Tony's upcoming re-release of the Magnetic Marriage course, his Pathback Recovery course, and more, sign up for his newsletter through the link at https://linktr.ee/virtualcouchAvailable NOW: Tony's "Magnetic Marriage Mini-Course" is only $25. https://magneticmarriage.mykajabi.com/magnetic-marriage-mini-courseYou can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program, The Path Back, by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com
Every family has an origin story—and it's not always the one told at holidays. In this episode, Tony explores the fascinating concept of the butterfly effect and how it applies to family systems. From a scientist's obsession with Gila monster saliva that led to Ozempic, to a wrong turn that ignited World War I, small moments can create massive ripples.But what happens when the butterfly in your family isn't an event—it's a person?Through the story of "Uncle Ray," Tony unpacks how one emotionally overwhelmed parent can set patterns that echo for decades, and how family roles—the helper, the peacekeeper, the fixer, the scapegoat—get assigned long before we're even aware of them. You'll learn about the patterns of emotional immaturity (black-and-white thinking, mind reading, magical thinking, and more) and how they show up in everyday family dynamics.Most importantly, Tony shares the hopeful truth: the butterfly effect works both ways. One person's dysfunction can ripple through generations—but so can one person's healing. If you've ever wondered how to break cycles in your own family or show up differently this holiday season, this episode is for you.00:00 Introduction: Family Dynamics and Roles01:05 The Butterfly Effect in Families03:02 Crossover Episode: Emotional Immaturity and Family Systems04:36 The Butterfly Effect: Scientific Examples10:02 The Butterfly Effect in Family Systems14:33 Uncle Ray: The Catalyst of Chaos23:25 Pathological Kindness: Janet's Role27:39 Emotional Immaturity: Patterns and Consequences33:10 Black and White Thinking33:40 Mind Reading and Assumed Intent34:28 Difficulty with Accountability35:39 Emotional Reasoning36:35 External Validation Dependence37:58 Magical Thinking39:03 Managing Other People's Emotions40:40 The Butterfly Effect in Family Dynamics41:15 Curiosity and Emotional Maturity43:28 Reconnecting with Uncle Dave51:30 The Impact of Family Systems55:55 The Cost of Emotional Immaturity58:25 Breaking the Cycle58:45 Setting Boundaries and Responding Differently01:02:38 Hope and Creating Positive RipplesContact Tony at contact@tonyoverbay.com to learn more about his Emotional Architects men's group.And visit https://julie-dejesus.com/cruise to learn more about Tony and his friend Julie De Jesus's "I See You Living" cruise, a 5-night Western Caribbean Cruise from January 24-29, 2026 aboard the Royal Caribbean Cruise Line. To learn more about Tony's upcoming re-release of the Magnetic Marriage course, his Pathback Recovery course, and more, sign up for his newsletter through the link at https://linktr.ee/virtualcouchAvailable NOW: Tony's "Magnetic Marriage Mini-Course" is only $25. https://magneticmarriage.mykajabi.com/magnetic-marriage-mini-courseYou can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program, The Path Back, by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com
Have you ever found yourself calculating what to say when your partner is upset—choosing words to manage their emotions rather than speaking your truth? In this episode, Tony shares the breakthrough story of a couple navigating financial betrayal and the exhausting cycle of emotional management that kept them stuck.
Through Mark and Sarah's journey from reactive patterns to authentic connection, you'll discover the five elements of differentiated intimacy and why trying to make your partner "okay" with uncomfortable truths actually prevents genuine healing. Tony breaks down how anxious and avoidant attachment styles create complementary patterns of pursuit and withdrawal, and why both strategies are really about the same thing: controlling the other person's emotional state rather than being present to it.
BONUS SECTION: Tony responds to overwhelming listener feedback from his recent co-regulation series by explaining the neuroscience behind Mark and Sarah's breakthrough. Learn about Ed Tronick's famous "Still Face Experiment," how childhood co-regulation failures create adult attachment wounds, and why healing requires nervous system-level change—not just better communication skills.
Perfect for you if:
- You're exhausted from walking on eggshells or constantly pursuing connection
- You recognize yourself in anxious or avoidant attachment patterns
- You're recovering from betrayal (financial, emotional, or otherwise) in your relationship
- You want to understand why the same conflicts keep repeating
- You're curious about the neuroscience of relationship healing
Topics covered:
- The difference between managing emotions and being present to them
- Five elements of differentiated intimacy in action
- How to hold incompatible truths without relationship collapse
- The anxious-avoidant trap explained through nervous system dynamics
- Co-regulation: from childhood patterns to adult healing
- Why secure attachment can be earned at any age
00:00 Introduction and Episode Overview
00:37 Imagining Relationship Scenarios
02:56 Understanding Emotional Management
03:56 Exploring Co-Regulation in Relationships
07:33 Case Study: Mark and Sarah's Financial Infidelity
13:54 Breakthrough Session: Honest Communication
21:45 The Real Work of Differentiation
23:22 Mark and Sarah's Emotional Breakthrough
24:38 Key Lessons from the Breakthrough
25:34 Managing Emotions vs. Genuine Intimacy
28:06 Questions for Self-Reflection
29:29 Understanding Co-Regulation
30:53 The Still Face Experiment
33:36 Mark and Sarah's Attachment Styles
35:54 The Anxious-Avoidant Trap
37:11 Breakthrough in Therapy
40:38 The Role of Co-Regulation in Healing
41:39 Neuroplasticity and Secure Attachment
45:48 Final Thoughts and Resources
Contact Tony at contact@tonyoverbay.com to learn more about his Emotional Architects men's group.
And visit https://julie-dejesus.com/cruise to learn more about Tony and his friend Julie De Jesus's "I See You Living" cruise, a 5-night Western Caribbean Cruise from January 24-29, 2026 aboard the Royal Caribbean Cruise Line.
To learn more about Tony's upcoming re-release of the Magnetic Marriage course, his Pathback Recovery course, and more, sign up for his newsletter through the link at https://linktr.ee/virtualcouch
Available NOW: Tony's "Magnetic Marriage Mini-Course" is only $25. https://magneticmarriage.mykajabi.com/magnetic-marriage-mini-course
You can learn more about Tony's cornography recovery program, The Path Back, by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com
In Part 2 of Why You Fell for Your Partner (and Why You Keep Fighting Them), Tony Overbay, LMFT, continues the story of Jack and Jill — a fictional couple built from hundreds of real couples he’s worked with in therapy.
But this time, the story shifts. What happens when children grow up with emotional safety, repair, and consistency? What does love look like when it’s modeled, not managed — when connection feels safe instead of chaotic?
Tony explores how secure attachment is formed through co-regulation, how parents teach emotional safety through presence instead of fixing, and how those lessons echo into adulthood — shaping how we love, argue, and connect.
Through rich storytelling and neuroscience-backed insights, you’ll learn:
• What healthy co-regulation sounds like in real life
• Why conflict in secure relationships feels safe, not scary
• How consistent emotional repair rewires the brain
• Why secure partners are drawn to emotional availability, not intensity
• How “earned secure attachment” and therapy can break old patterns
This episode isn’t just a look at what healthy relationships sound like — it’s a roadmap for how to build one.
Because your past might explain your patterns, but it doesn’t have to define your future.
00:00 Introduction and Recap of Part One
01:23 Understanding Attachment Styles
02:25 Exploring Jill's Childhood
03:16 Exploring Jack's Childhood
04:58 Healthy Emotional Regulation
06:44 Jill's Healthy Emotional Development
21:10 Jack's Healthy Emotional Development
31:28 Jack and Jill's Relationship Dynamics
35:04 Healthy Communication in Relationships
36:06 The Importance of Secure Attachment
37:08 Navigating Stress and Boundaries
40:06 Conflict Resolution and Compromise
41:43 Building a Secure Relationship
52:55 The Role of Childhood in Adult Relationships
01:02:29 The Power of Therapy and Self-Work
01:08:52 Final Thoughts on Relationship Growth
Contact Tony at contact@tonyoverbay.com to learn more about his Emotional Architects men's group.
And visit https://julie-dejesus.com/cruise to learn more about Tony and his friend Julie De Jesus's "I See You Living" cruise, a 5-night Western Caribbean Cruise from January 24-29, 2026 aboard the Royal Caribbean Cruise Line.
To learn more about Tony's upcoming re-release of the Magnetic Marriage course, his Pathback Recovery course, and more, sign up for his newsletter through the link at https://linktr.ee/virtualcouch
Available NOW: Tony's "Magnetic Marriage Mini-Course" is only $25. https://magneticmarriage.mykajabi.com/magnetic-marriage-mini-course
You can learn more about Tony's cornography recovery program, The Path Back, by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com
What if the way you love — and the way you fight — were both written long before you met your partner? Tony Overbay, LMFT, reveals how your nervous system learned to react to love, conflict, and vulnerability decades before your first date — and how those patterns still show up today.
In this episode, Tony introduces Jack and Jill, a fictional couple built from hundreds of real couples he has worked with over 20 years in therapy. Their story illustrates two common attachment patterns — one anxious, one avoidant — and how they collide in the classic pursue-withdraw cycle that leaves both partners feeling unseen, unsafe, and alone.
Through relatable narrative, clinical insight, and real-world examples, you’ll learn:
• How childhood emotional experiences shape relationship expectations
• Why your partner’s reactions can feel like rejection (even when they aren’t)
• How anxiety and withdrawal both come from trying to feel safe
• Why repeating the same argument isn’t failure — it’s a nervous system loop
• What has to change before communication skills even matter
This episode will help you finally understand why you fell for your partner… and why the very things that drew you together now drive you apart.
Whether you identify with Jill’s pursuit for reassurance or Jack’s retreat into silence, you’ll start to see the deeper story inside your relationship — the one your body has been telling long before you could put it into words.
Stay tuned for Part 2, where Tony will explore an entirely different path — one where emotional safety is modeled, repair is possible, and connection doesn’t have to hurt.
00:00 Introduction: The Hidden Stories of Our Reactions
00:41 Understanding Nervous System Responses
02:01 The Impact of Childhood Experiences
02:34 Modern Relationships and Nervous System Patterns
04:08 Meet Jack and Jill: A Case Study
09:09 Jill's Story: A Childhood of Emotional Instability
13:14 Jack's Story: Learning to Withdraw
16:43 Jack and Jill's Relationship Dynamics
21:18 The Pursue-Withdraw Cycle
27:23 Paths to Healing and Connection
29:44 Conclusion: Moving Forward with Awareness
Contact Tony at contact@tonyoverbay.com to learn more about his Emotional Architects men's group.
And visit https://julie-dejesus.com/cruise to learn more about Tony and his friend Julie De Jesus's "I See You Living" cruise, a 5-night Western Caribbean Cruise from January 24-29, 2026 aboard the Royal Caribbean Cruise Line.
To learn more about Tony's upcoming re-release of the Magnetic Marriage course, his Pathback Recovery course, and more, sign up for his newsletter through the link at https://linktr.ee/virtualcouch
Available NOW: Tony's "Magnetic Marriage Mini-Course" is only $25. https://magneticmarriage.mykajabi.com/magnetic-marriage-mini-course
You can learn more about Tony's cornography recovery program, The Path Back, by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com
Ever wonder why your partner's innocent behavior feels like a personal attack? What if the stories you're telling yourself about their intentions say more about you than about them?In this eye-opening episode, therapist Tony Overbay, LMFT, explores projection—the unconscious habit of attributing our own thoughts, feelings, and motivations to others. Through real stories from his practice, including a couple's argument over a bag of garbage and a wife accused of infidelity she never considered, Tony reveals how we're all swimming in "water" we don't even know exists.Discover why the things that trigger you most intensely often reflect your own unresolved struggles, learn the psychology behind "the lady doth protest too much," and understand how projection creates conflict in even the healthiest relationships. Tony shares practical tools for recognizing when you're projecting, explains the neuroscience behind why our brains do this, and offers actionable steps for breaking free from automatic interpretations that damage connection.What you'll learn:The difference between observation and judgment (and why it matters).How to recognize when you're projecting your own experience onto your partner.Why intense reactions are usually about you, not them.The connection between childhood survival strategies and adult projection.David Foster Wallace's "This Is Water" and what it teaches us about awareness. (You can read the full transcript here https://fs.blog/david-foster-wallace-this-is-water/)Real examples of projection in everyday relationships and public life.Three key takeaways you can use immediately to transform your communication.If you've ever thought "they should have known that would hurt me" or "they obviously did that on purpose," this episode will fundamentally change how you see yourself, your partner, and your conflicts. Because once you see the water you're swimming in, you can't unsee it—and that's where real growth begins.Perfect for: individuals in a relationship, those struggling with recurring conflicts, those interested in emotional maturity and self-awareness, and anyone seeking to understand the psychology behind their strongest reactions.00:00 Introduction and Overview00:44 Understanding Projection01:36 Story Time: Real-Life Examples of Projection06:06 Defining Projection07:34 Historical Context and Theories of Projection08:46 Modern Psychology and Projection09:04 Integrating the Shadow25:29 Projection in Everyday Life30:48 Uncovering Hidden Struggles31:49 The Defense Mechanism of Projection34:18 Therapeutic Breakthroughs37:34 Practical Examples of Projection41:11 Understanding Our Default Settings47:07 The Power of Curiosity and Compassion52:59 Final Thoughts on ProjectionContact Tony at contact@tonyoverbay.com to learn more about his Emotional Architects men's group.And visit https://julie-dejesus.com/cruise to learn more about Tony and his friend Julie De Jesus's "I See You Living" cruise, a 5-night Western Caribbean Cruise from January 24-29, 2026 aboard the Royal Caribbean Cruise Line. To learn more about Tony's upcoming re-release of the Magnetic Marriage course, his Pathback Recovery course, and more, sign up for his newsletter through the link at https://linktr.ee/virtualcouchAvailable NOW: Tony's "Magnetic Marriage Mini-Course" is only $25. https://magneticmarriage.mykajabi.com/magnetic-marriage-mini-courseYou can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program, The Path Back, by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com
What happens when the person who usually has the answers finds himself sitting in the unknown? In this deeply personal episode, licensed marriage and family therapist Tony Overbay shares his raw, honest experience of losing his mother - not as a clinician offering guidance, but as a son navigating grief for the first time.Tony opens with a touching story about his mom's lifelong belief that he was a "real doctor," leading to an unexpectedly profound moment in the ICU. He then sits down with Q&A Files co-host Trisha Jamison for an unfiltered conversation about what it's really like when the helper becomes the one who needs help.This isn't a clinical discussion about the stages of grief - it's a human exploration of sitting bedside for four days, the humor that emerges in dark moments, the spiritual experiences you hope for but might not get, and why "let me know if you need anything" might not be as helpful as we think.Whether you're processing your own loss, supporting someone who is, or simply curious about what happens when life flips the script on a mental health professional, this conversation offers something real. It's messy, it's honest, and it's ultimately about being human enough to sit with the questions when you don't have all the answers.Topics covered: Grief processing, end-of-life care, family dynamics, therapeutic insights, humor as coping mechanism, supporting others in loss, acceptance and commitment therapy in practice.Content note: This episode contains frank discussions about death, dying, and the physical aspects of end-of-life care.00:00 Introduction and Announcements
02:25 Personal Loss: The Passing of My Mom
03:44 Understanding the Role of a Therapist
06:05 A Story of Misunderstanding: My Mom Thought I Was a Doctor
15:10 A Therapist's Perspective on Grief
17:58 Conversation with Tricia Jameson: Grief and Grace
34:30 Exploring the Nature of Memory
35:54 Humor as a Coping Mechanism
38:59 Seeking Spiritual Experiences
42:07 Navigating Grief and Loss
48:26 Reflecting on Personal Growth
52:01 Supporting Others Through Grief
58:49 Concluding Thoughts and Farewell
Contact Tony at contact@tonyoverbay.com to learn more about his Emotional Architects men's group.
And visit https://julie-dejesus.com/cruise to learn more about Tony and his friend Julie De Jesus's "I See You Living" cruise, a 5-night Western Caribbean Cruise from January 24-29, 2026 aboard the Royal Caribbean Cruise Line.
To learn more about Tony's upcoming re-release of the Magnetic Marriage course, his Pathback Recovery course, and more, sign up for his newsletter through the link at https://linktr.ee/virtualcouch
Available NOW: Tony's "Magnetic Marriage Mini-Course" is only $25. https://magneticmarriage.mykajabi.com/magnetic-marriage-mini-course
You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program, The Path Back, by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com
Would you rather be liked—or be true to yourself?
It sounds simple, but what happens when staying true to your values could cost you your job, your marriage, your faith community, or your friendships? In today’s episode of The Virtual Couch Presents, Tony Overbay, LMFT, dives into the real difference between character (the traits others see in us) and integrity (the alignment of our actions with our deepest values).
Through stories pulled from the legal world, faith communities, workplaces, friendships, and even the messy reality of parenting, Tony explores how external validation can pull us away from who we are—and how emotional maturity, self-determination, and values-based living bring us back home to ourselves.
You’ll hear about billion-dollar law firms making impossible choices, parents navigating the tension between community expectations and their child’s authenticity, and why even a heated debate over pizza sauce in a Hot Pocket can reveal where integrity really lives.
At the end of the episode, stay tuned for a short guided meditation to help you connect with your own values and discover how to live them out with integrity. And don’t miss the chance to grab a cheat sheet of this episode and Tony’s Values Exercise, a simple but powerful tool to help you start discovering who you truly are.
This is not about guilt or shame. It’s about curiosity, growth, and finding the courage to live with integrity—even when it costs you.
00:00 Welcome to the Virtual Couch
00:50 The Dilemma: Being Liked vs. Being True to Yourself
01:36 Exploring Character and Integrity
02:58 Upcoming Cruise and Workshops
04:04 Character vs. Integrity: Real-Life Examples
14:14 The Legal World: Integrity Under Pressure
33:21 Self-Determination Theory and Emotional Maturity
35:53 Intrinsic Motivation and Self-Determination Theory
36:56 Autonomy, Competence, and Relatedness
37:42 External Rewards and Burnout
38:39 Real-World Examples of Integrity
39:42 Sophia's Journey to Integrity
42:16 Daniel's Struggle with Values
45:12 Integrity in Different Contexts
58:06 Faith and Integrity
01:06:15 Guided Meditation: Coming Home to Your Values
Contact Tony at contact@tonyoverbay.com to learn more about his Emotional Architects men's group.
And visit https://julie-dejesus.com/cruise to learn more about Tony and his friend Julie De Jesus's "I See You Living" cruise, a 5-night Western Caribbean Cruise from January 24-29, 2026 aboard the Royal Caribbean Cruise Line.
To learn more about Tony's upcoming re-release of the Magnetic Marriage course, his Pathback Recovery course, and more, sign up for his newsletter through the link at https://linktr.ee/virtualcouch
Available NOW: Tony's "Magnetic Marriage Mini-Course" is only $25. https://magneticmarriage.mykajabi.com/magnetic-marriage-mini-course
You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program, The Path Back, by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com
Tony and his daughter Mackie (@beautybymackie) catch up on a lot of life. Since the last time they hit record, Mackie has navigated big career shifts, health challenges, and new adventures. Tony has faced major surgery and the loss of his mom (Mackie’s grandmother).
Together, they dive into the messy, uncomfortable, and often hilarious realities of change — why our brains resist it, why it feels so daunting in the moment, and why it’s actually the engine of growth. From dad jokes about Gen Z slang to real talk about autoimmune diagnoses, resilience, and reinventing yourself, this conversation is equal parts laughter, honesty, and insight.
If you’re navigating your own season of change, this episode will remind you that discomfort isn’t just survivable — it’s what shapes who you’re becoming. Follow Mackie on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/beautybymackie or Tiktok https://www.tiktok.com/@beautybymackie or subscribe to "The Mind, The Mirror and Me" wherever you listen to podcasts!
00:00 Welcome and Introduction
00:30 The Struggle with Change
02:16 Introducing Mackey McKinley
02:44 Life Updates and Major Changes
02:58 The Humor in Processing Change
03:25 Practical Gifts and Life Lessons
03:32 Social Media and Upcoming Events
04:10 Conversation with Mackey Begins
04:17 Casual Banter and Podcast Revival
05:56 Mackey's Career Journey
10:17 Health Challenges and Lifestyle Changes
28:21 The Concept of Healthy Ego
30:49 Defensive Ego and Feelings of Inferiority
31:10 Insecurity in Professional Settings
31:18 Hypersensitivity and Narcissistic Traits
32:01 Building a Healthy Ego
32:39 Passion vs. Obligation in Work
34:02 Personal Growth and Change
36:20 The Fear of the Unknown
38:37 The Illusion of Control
39:19 Coping with Discomfort and Growth
40:12 Therapy and Emotional Support
49:13 The Power of Pausing and Acceptance
54:13 Mackey's Wellness Journey
56:46 Conclusion and Final Thoughts
Tony sits down with his friend and Love, ADHD co-host, Julie De Jesus, to unpack her recent interview with Kevin Franke, ex-husband of Ruby Franke. Ruby, the former “8 Passengers” YouTuber, pled guilty in late 2023 to multiple counts of aggravated child abuse and, along with her business partner Jodi Hildebrandt, was sentenced in February 2024 to up to 30 years in prison under Utah law.
While Tony originally planned to ask Julie about Kevin, the conversation took a different turn: the tidal wave of comments Julie received after posting her interview. With humor, honesty, and therapeutic insight, Tony and Julie read through some of those YouTube comments out loud, responding in real time. They explore why people are so quick to judge, why emotions often masquerade as facts, and how online criticism reveals more about the commenter than the person being critiqued.
You’ll hear candid reflections on:
- What Kevin’s story stirs up in people (and why)
- How emotional immaturity shows up in the comment section (projection, black-and-white thinking, and mistaking feelings for truth)
- Why leaving abusive situations is never as simple as outsiders believe
- The concept of “whole object relations” — holding multiple emotions at once
- How Julie navigated negativity while staying grounded and authentic
This episode is part deep dive into psychology, part raw behind-the-scenes of content creation, and part hilarious reading of unfiltered internet comments. If you’ve ever wondered why strangers online lash out—or how to handle criticism with both compassion and boundaries—this one’s for you.
00:00 Introduction and Episode Overview
00:33 Julie De Jesus and Her Interview with Kevin Frankie
01:11 Handling Criticism and Emotional Reactions
02:40 Understanding Emotional Maturity
03:55 Navigating Online Criticism
07:40 Promoting the Upcoming Cruise
11:51 The Future of Love A DHD Podcast
12:24 Deep Dive into Kevin Frankie's Interview
21:04 Personal Reflections and Recognitions
31:30 Introduction to Kate's Family Dynamics
31:32 Exploring Religious Roles and Power Dynamics
32:23 Personal Reflections and Family Dynamics
35:00 Commentary on Interview Techniques
36:26 Debating Faith and Atheism
38:40 Addressing Online Criticism
42:20 Therapy and Personal Growth
53:05 Inner Child and Emotional Healing
01:00:02 Concluding Thoughts and Reflections
Contact Tony at contact@tonyoverbay.com to learn more about his Emotional Architects men's group.
And visit https://julie-dejesus.com/cruise to learn more about Tony and his friend Julie De Jesus's "I See You Living" cruise, a 5-night Western Caribbean Cruise from January 24-29, 2026 aboard the Royal Caribbean Cruise Line.
Have you ever tried to change someone’s mind—and watched them dig in even deeper? Or wondered why, even when you want to change your own beliefs, it feels like pushing against an invisible force? In this episode, Tony Overbay, LMFT, takes you on a journey that starts with a teenage quest for the perfect tan and ends with a powerful realization about how we construct our social realities. After sharing a personal story about undergoing a dramatic topical chemotherapy treatment for actinic keratosis, Tony reflects on how his temporarily altered appearance changed the way people interacted with him—and how it altered the way he saw himself.
This experience sets the stage for a breakdown of the groundbreaking Dartmouth scar study, which revealed that the belief that you’re being judged can actually create that experience—regardless of reality. From there, Tony dives into the science of confirmation bias: how our brains are wired to seek out information that supports what we already believe, and how this cognitive shortcut influences everything from politics and religion to parenting and marriage. You’ll hear real-life examples, client stories (with details changed for confidentiality), and powerful metaphors that unpack why belief change is so hard—and why it’s also essential for personal growth, emotional maturity, and deeper human connection.
00:00 The Quest for the Perfect Tan
00:35 A Dermatologist's Warning
01:33 The Chemotherapy Cream Experience
02:27 Social Reactions to Visible Differences
05:20 The Dartmouth Scar Study
06:24 The Power of Perception
15:25 Confirmation Bias in Action
32:47 Interpreting Neutral Events
33:04 Religion and Coincidences
33:34 Selective Memory in Parenting and Beyond
34:58 Confirmation Bias in Action
36:23 Client Story: Recognizing Bias
40:32 Vaccine Hesitancy and Confirmation Bias
44:58 The Scar Study and Confirmation Bias
54:56 Evolutionary Roots of Belief Protection
57:33 Modern Challenges and Professional Competence
01:01:49 Conclusion and Listener Engagement
Contact Tony at contact@tonyoverbay.com to learn more about his Emotional Architects men's group.
And visit https://julie-dejesus.com/cruise to learn more about Tony and his friend Julie De Jesus's "I See You Living" cruise, a 5-night Western Caribbean Cruise from January 24-29, 2026 aboard the Royal Caribbean Cruise Line.
What do a therapist dad, his adult daughter, and a live stream full of honest questions have in common? A raw, insightful, and often hilarious live Q&A.
In this special live episode, therapist Tony Overbay, LMFT, is joined by his daughter Sydney for a candid conversation that covers everything from emotional immaturity and ADHD to family dynamics, addiction, and navigating a faith crisis.
With their signature mix of warmth, wit, and psychological depth, Tony and Sydney explore how perception truly shapes reality (via the Dartmouth scar study), what it means to heal your inner child, and why we so often double down on what’s familiar—even when it no longer serves us.
You’ll hear real-time questions and breakthroughs from listeners on topics like trauma, medication, parenting, and personal growth. Sydney shares her lived experience leaving a high-demand religion, and Tony offers grounded, compassionate insights on how we all carry parts of ourselves—from inner kids to "addicts"—that are doing their best to help us survive.
Whether you're working through your own stuff or just love real talk about what it means to grow up (emotionally and otherwise), this episode has something for you.
00:00 Introduction and Casual Banter
00:27 Addressing Viewer Messages and Introductions
00:47 Losing and Finding the Phone
02:04 Mental Health Questions and Therapy Advice
07:08 Perception and Reality
16:48 Faith, Beliefs, and Community
27:51 Parent-Child Dynamics and Emotional Health
37:23 Personifying Addiction: Meet Andy
38:04 The Power of Self-Identification
38:51 Medication and Personal Progress
41:16 Emotional Immaturity and Childhood Adaptations
47:57 Navigating Family Dynamics and Acceptance
01:09:08 The Importance of Genuine Curiosity
What if an entire generation is emotionally stuck in childhood—and doesn't even know it?
In this compelling guest appearance on The Steph and Craig Show, Tony dives deep into what he calls "the emotional immaturity epidemic" that's quietly sabotaging relationships everywhere.
Discover the hidden patterns that keep adults reacting like children: black-and-white thinking that destroys nuance, magical thinking that avoids reality, and the exhausting habit of managing everyone else's emotions instead of allowing people to have their own experiences. Through real-life examples and practical insights, you'll learn to recognize these childhood survival strategies that have become adult relationship roadblocks.
Whether you're the people-pleaser who can't say no, the perfectionist who fears vulnerability, or the controller trying to manage everyone's feelings, this conversation offers eye-opening insights into how these patterns formed—and more importantly, how to outgrow them.
What you'll discover: • Why emotional reasoning ("I feel it, so it must be true") sabotages relationships • How childhood adaptations become adult limitations
• Practical tools for recognizing your own emotional immaturity patterns • Actionable strategies for developing genuine emotional maturity
Ready to stop reacting from your inner child and start responding from your wise adult self? This episode will show you exactly where to begin.
Find The Steph and Craig Show at stephandcraig.co
00:00 Introduction and Episode Overview
00:34 Guest Introduction: Steph and Craig
02:22 Emotional Immaturity Epidemic
04:18 Therapy Insights and Personal Anecdotes
05:24 Interview Begins: Revisiting Past Conversations
06:52 Emotional Weight in Relationships
09:55 Understanding Emotional Immaturity
13:02 Inner Child and Emotional Development
27:35 Black and White Thinking in Relationships
30:55 Reflecting on Past Behaviors
31:53 The Power of Language in Relationships
33:07 Understanding Black or White Thinking
34:45 Magical Thinking and Emotional Maturity
43:12 Emotional Reasoning in Adults
58:46 Navigating Faith and Personal Validation
01:00:13 The Impact of External Validation on Self-Identity
01:00:42 The Role of Accountability and Magical Thinking
01:01:16 Spiritual Perspectives on Differentiation
01:02:37 Emotional Boundaries and Responsibility
01:04:35 Navigating Emotional Charges in Relationships
01:06:48 The Journey of Emotional Maturity
01:11:30 Mind Reading and Assumptions in Relationships
01:16:10 The Continuous Learning Process
01:23:31 The Importance of Emotional Maturity
01:26:05 Final Thoughts and Call to Action
Contact Tony at contact@tonyoverbay.com to learn more about his Emotional Architects men's group.
And visit https://julie-dejesus.com/cruise to learn more about Tony and his friend Julie De Jesus's "I See You Living" cruise, a 5-night Western Caribbean Cruise from January 24-29, 2026 aboard the Royal Caribbean Cruise Line.
Are you truly being curious—or just trying to win the argument? Tony explores the difference between genuine curiosity and performative questions, sharing real-life examples and tools to help you respond with emotional maturity, not reactivity. Learn how curiosity can transform your relationships.
00:00 Introduction and Host Background
01:42 Understanding Performative vs. Genuine Curiosity
02:04 A Personal Story About Curiosity
08:50 The Importance of Genuine Curiosity in Relationships
19:10 Self-Regulation and Emotional Maturity
24:18 Promoting Genuine Curiosity in Parenting
26:17 The Role of Humility in Curiosity
29:41 Healthy Ego vs. Defensive Narcissism
35:03 The Neuroscience of Decision Making and Emotions
37:06 The Power of Slowing Down
37:36 Understanding Emotions: Primary, Secondary, and Instrumental
41:02 Exploring Anger in Relationships
42:48 Trusting Your Gut and Emotional Reasoning
45:41 Addressing Men's Emotional Immaturity
48:55 Real-Life Examples of Genuine Curiosity
53:42 Parenting with Curiosity
55:09 Curiosity in Marriage and Workplace
59:47 Acceptance and Commitment Therapy Tools
01:02:15 Four Pillars of a Connected Conversation
01:05:20 Final Thoughts and Takeaways
Contact Tony at contact@tonyoverbay.com to learn more about his Emotional Architects men's group.
And visit https://julie-dejesus.com/cruise to learn more about Tony and his friend Julie De Jesus's "I See You Living" cruise, a 5-night Western Caribbean Cruise from January 24-29, 2026 aboard the Royal Caribbean Cruise Line.
Marla Christensen, AMFT, APCC, and Tony Overbay, LMFT, delve into Ethan Kross's "Shift: Managing Your Emotions So They Don't Manage You" for another installment of the "Virtual Couch Book Club." They explore emotional awareness, sensory shifts, and cultural influences on emotional well-being. Practical techniques, such as distant self-talk and the Whoop framework (Wish, Outcome, Obstacle, Plan), are covered, offering listeners actionable strategies for emotional management. Tony opens the episode by explaining how common parental phrases, such as "it's not a big deal" or "just don't worry about it," can unintentionally hinder emotional expression in adulthood, setting the stage for struggles with managing emotions later in life. This discussion offers valuable insights for individuals seeking to understand better and manage their emotions.
00:00 A Touching Parenting Moment
02:22 Introduction to the Virtual Couch
02:31 Book Club: Managing Emotions
03:16 The Importance of Emotional Awareness
03:37 Understanding Emotional Language
04:44 The Disconnect from Emotions
06:01 Introducing Dr. Ethan Cross's 'Shift'
06:23 Meet Marla Christiansen
07:33 Exploring Emotional Concepts from 'Shift'
07:46 The Complexity of Emotions
08:05 Practical Tools for Emotional Management
08:20 The Power of Distanced Self-Talk
08:37 External Influences on Emotions
09:02 Body Awareness and Emotions
09:12 Navigating Difficult Emotions
09:24 Impact of Social Media and Cultural Factors
09:37 Appreciating Emotions as Information
10:18 Book Club Discussion: 'Shift' by Dr. Ethan Cross
10:30 Starting the Interview with Marla Christensen
11:24 Diving into Emotional Regulation
11:43 Book Club Insights and Personal Reflections
22:58 The Law of Least Work
25:01 Exploring Low-Cost Emotional Shifts
25:40 Understanding Attention and Perspective
26:10 Navigating Emotional Avoidance and Approach
27:27 The Power of Reframing
29:29 Distanced Self-Talk: A Unique Approach
31:07 Shifting Emotions Through Environment
33:44 The Role of Relationships in Emotional Shifts
37:24 Cultural Influences on Emotions
39:37 The Impact of Comparison
42:37 Practical Tools for Emotional Mastery
44:06 Final Thoughts and Resources
What if the very strategies that saved you as a child are now sabotaging your adult relationships?
In Part 2 of Tony's series on emotional immaturity, discover why your most persistent relationship struggles aren't character flaws—they're outdated survival software still running in the background of your life.
Through the powerful ACT metaphor of "The Man in the Hole," you'll understand why working harder with familiar emotional tools only digs you deeper into relationship problems. When someone offers you a ladder out of your patterns, why do you keep trying to dig with it instead? This episode reveals how to recognize when it's time to put down the shovel of old coping strategies and climb toward something completely different.
Meet the clients who've made this transformation: the chronic fixer who learned to ask "what do you need from me?" instead of immediately solving, the humor-deflector who shocked a room into silence by sharing something real, and the lifelong people-pleaser whose hands shook as she said "no" for the first time—and discovered her marriage actually got stronger.
You'll explore Terry Real's revolutionary insight that childhood adaptations become adult roadblocks, learn the art of re-parenting yourself with compassion instead of criticism, and discover why emotional maturity isn't about never falling into old patterns—it's about recognizing when you're there and having new tools to respond.
Whether you struggle with hypervigilance, perfectionism, control issues, or people-pleasing tendencies, this episode offers a shame-free framework for honoring your inner child's brilliant survival strategies while empowering your adult self to take the lead. Because growth isn't about eliminating your protective parts—it's about expanding your repertoire of responses and choosing consciously instead of reacting automatically.
Ready to stop digging and start climbing? Your ladder awaits.
00:00 Introduction and Recap
01:23 The Story of Tyler
03:53 Tyler's Realization and Therapy
09:39 Acceptance and Commitment Therapy Metaphor
15:46 Revisiting Emotional Immaturity
19:30 Reparenting Yourself
25:05 Examples of Reparenting in Action
29:00 Exploring Emotional Immaturity Traits
40:54 Recognizing and Validating Emotions
42:47 Dependence on External Validation
48:54 Taking Ownership and Accountability
51:49 Mind Reading and Communication
01:03:55 Hypervigilance and Emotional Containment
01:07:12 Perfectionism and Control
01:11:49 Integration and Emotional Maturity
01:15:57 Real-Life Examples of Emotional Growth
01:22:05 The Journey of Emotional Maturity
Have you ever watched someone you care about repeatedly return to a relationship that's clearly hurting them, despite all logic and reason? Or found yourself unable to break free from a partner who alternates between cruel indifference and intoxicating affection?
Tony Overbay, LMFT, comprehensively examines all of the factors at play in hopes of shining a light on understanding and ultimately healing from one of psychology's most misunderstood phenomena: trauma bonding.
Tony explains how the same mechanisms that kept B.F. Skinner's rats frantically pressing a lever for unpredictable rewards are at work in toxic relationships. He explains the biological "amygdala hijack" that literally shuts down one's ability to think rationally when anxiety strikes and why well-meaning advice like "just don't worry about it" actually makes things worse through psychological reactance.
This comprehensive episode covers:
The neurological science behind trauma bonding and why it creates addiction-like withdrawal symptoms
How childhood experiences shape our relationship with emotions and set us up for unhealthy patterns
Why telling someone "don't think about it" guarantees they'll think about it more
The critical difference between guilt ("I did something bad") and shame ("I am bad")
Practical ACT (Acceptance and Commitment Therapy) techniques like expansion and mindfulness
The powerful Buddhist salt and water metaphor for managing emotional pain
Why no one—not even identical twins—experiences the world exactly as you do
How to break the cycle of seeking external validation that keeps you trapped
Whether you're personally experiencing a trauma bond, supporting someone who is, or simply want to understand why people stay in painful relationships, this episode provides compassionate insight and practical tools for healing. Tony's conversational style makes complex psychological concepts accessible while offering hope that with time, understanding, and the right support, you can reclaim your emotional autonomy and build healthier connections.
00:00 Introduction: The Impact of 'Say Anything'
01:21 Setting the Stage: Understanding Relationship Dynamics
01:50 Who This Episode is For
03:10 Introduction to Trauma Bonding
04:03 Welcome to the Virtual Couch
04:35 Engage with Us: Social Media and Upcoming Events
07:04 The Concept of Trauma Bonding
16:51 The Science Behind Trauma Bonding
21:25 Understanding the Amygdala Hijack
21:49 The Impact of Stress Hormones on the Brain
23:03 The Cycle of Trauma Bonding
24:21 The Ineffectiveness of Well-Meaning Advice
24:59 Psychological Reactance and the White Bear Effect
26:24 Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT)
28:18 The Concept of Expansion
30:05 Mindfulness and Changing Your Relationship with Thoughts
32:27 Guilt vs. Shame
34:11 Healing from Trauma Bonds
36:45 The Importance of Self-Validation
43:43 Seeking Support and Practicing Mindfulness
Do you avoid difficult conversations, hoping problems will magically disappear? Do you convince yourself you don’t need to write things down, because of course you’ll remember later? Or maybe you catch yourself trying to be everything to everyone… and slowly losing yourself in the process?
Join Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist Tony Overbay and his daughter Mackie, a licensed esthetician, and cosmetologist, and host of the podcast “The Mind, the Mirror, and Me,” for a lively and insightful live Q&A. Together, they explore the sneaky ways magical thinking and emotional immaturity show up in our lives and relationships. From assuming people should “just know” what we want, to struggling with overthinking and honesty in relationships, this conversation dives deep (with plenty of humor and personal stories along the way).
You’ll also hear about:
- What “pick me” behavior really means and how it impacts relationships
- How magical thinking keeps us stuck (and how to move forward)
- Navigating diagnoses like borderline personality disorder and emotional immaturity
- Why honesty in relationships isn’t as simple as “just say it”
- Handling complicated family dynamics — including emotionally absent grandparents
- Tools like mindfulness and ACT-based techniques to help you change your relationship with your thoughts
Whether you're a therapist, a parent, or simply curious about emotional growth, this honest and relatable episode will leave you thinking differently about how you show up for yourself and others.
00:00 Introduction and Technical Difficulties
00:19 Foot Talk and Live Stream Banter
01:11 Licensed Therapist Q&A Begins
01:21 Understanding Narcissistic Traits
02:06 Exploring the 'Pick Me' Phenomenon
03:20 Therapy Insights: Finding Your True Self
05:40 Addressing Borderline Personality Disorder
14:05 Magical Thinking and Emotional Immaturity
26:08 Mindfulness and Thought Observation Techniques
27:02 The Concept of Changing Relationship with Thoughts
27:32 Discussion on Honesty in Relationships
31:16 Handling Family Dynamics and Expectations
33:54 Understanding Bipolar Disorder vs. Anger Issues
37:43 The Role of Thoughts, Behaviors, and Feelings
46:03 Freudian Theories and Emotional Maturity
50:39 Final Thoughts and Viewer Questions
Ever wondered why your brilliant mind can solve complex problems at work but completely breaks down during relationship conflicts? That's because those emotional reactions that feel so instinctive aren't flaws—they're actually genius survival strategies that once kept you safe. In this transformative episode, we explore how black-and-white thinking, mind-reading expectations, and external validation seeking were perfect childhood adaptations that have now become relationship roadblocks. Through the groundbreaking insight that behaviors which perfectly served us in childhood often become the very patterns that sabotage our adult relationships, you'll finally understand why you keep falling into familiar emotional patterns despite your best intentions.
This isn't just another episode about relationship struggles—it's a compassionate roadmap for emotional growth that honors both your wounded inner child and your emerging adult self. You'll discover how to recognize when you're in an emotional "hole" and why continuing to dig with familiar tools only takes you deeper. Most importantly, you'll learn how to pass the baton from your protective inner child to your capable adult self without shame or judgment. Whether you struggle with people-pleasing, emotional flooding, perfectionism, or control issues, this episode offers a strength-based approach to transform these patterns into mature responses that will revolutionize your relationships and bring a profound sense of internal peace.
00:00 Introduction and Episode Overview
00:23 Listener Email: Mark's Story
01:41 Understanding Emotional Immaturity
04:47 Exploring the Emotional Maturity Spectrum
08:47 Introducing the Emotional Architects Group
09:29 Narcissistic Personality Disorder vs. Emotional Immaturity
11:08 Dinner with Daniel: A Narcissistic Narrative
15:47 Stages of Emotional Maturity
26:18 Childhood Behaviors in Adult Bodies
32:45 Understanding Emotional Blueprints
33:07 Re-parenting with Compassion
33:32 Therapeutic Insights from Fiction
34:23 Frozen Moments and Adult Relationships
35:16 Childhood Adaptations in Adult Life
36:17 Exploring Childlike Behaviors in Adults
36:57 Navigating Emotional Development
41:34 Black or White Thinking
44:43 Magical Thinking in Relationships
47:46 Emotional Reasoning and Codependency
52:32 External Validation and Accountability
55:41 Mind Reading and Projection
01:01:32 Pattern Recognition and Familiarity
01:07:12 Path Toward Emotional Maturity
01:07:52 Conclusion and Next Steps
Have you ever found yourself wondering, How can someone possibly believe that? Or maybe you've questioned your own beliefs after bumping up against someone else's certainty? You're not alone.
In this episode, Tony Overbay, LMFT, dives into the complexities of perception, truth, and emotional maturity. He explores how individuals often encounter differing viewpoints—especially in today’s social media-driven world—and how those experiences can lead to frustration, confusion, and even self-doubt.
Using concepts like Umwelt and the importance of distinguishing between objective facts and subjective experiences, Tony offers insight into how each person’s unique background and personal history shape the way they see and move through the world.
Through personal stories and reflections, he emphasizes the power of curiosity, empathy, and openness in building real, meaningful connections. Tony also shares parts of his own professional and spiritual journey, including the impact of his faith crisis, and how discomfort can often become a catalyst for deep personal growth.
He reflects on the therapist-client relationship, unpacking the balance between professional boundaries and genuine emotional connection. And as always, Tony encourages listeners to embrace curiosity, hold healthy boundaries, and continue showing up as their most authentic selves.
00:00 Introduction: The Frustration of Misunderstanding
02:11 Exploring the Concept of 'Truth'
03:08 Host Introduction and Social Media Presence
04:21 Personal Story: Spinal Surgery Experience
05:26 Diving into the Topic of 'Truth' and Perception
07:15 The German Concept of Umwelt
12:22 Faith Journeys and Personal Perceptions
14:41 Emotional Maturity and Sense of Self
27:53 Job Interviews and Authenticity
32:13 Case Study: Spiritual Expectations
35:42 Thriving Without Sleep
35:52 The Faith Crisis Hits
35:59 Understanding the Pendulum Swing
36:15 Unique Faith Journeys
37:06 Embracing Personal Growth
37:25 The Beauty of Diverse Faith Outcomes
37:48 Navigating Faith Deconstruction
38:42 The Reframe: Moving Forward
38:53 Faith in Yourself and God
39:06 Riding Without Training Wheels
39:31 Respecting Different Journeys
40:04 The Hero's Journey
40:21 Helping Others Through Faith Crisis
40:56 Developing a Strong Sense of Self
41:29 Working with Faith Leaders
42:03 Emotional Immaturity in Faith Communities
42:41 The Power of Parables
43:14 Unspoken Pressures in Religious Settings
43:44 The Hypothetical Couple: Jack and Jill
45:59 Humanistic Therapy Principles
47:46 Intermittent Reinforcement and Trauma Bonding
48:58 The Four Pillars of a Connected Conversation
50:57 Separating Observations from Judgments
56:25 The Therapist's Emotional Journey
58:06 The Paradox of Therapy
01:02:11 Navigating Discomfort in Relationships
01:04:20 Concluding Thoughts and Encouragement
Tony, a licensed marriage and family therapist, author, speaker, and podcast host, welcomes viewers to an engaging TikTok Live session. Joined by his daughter Mackie, Tony answers questions on various topics including relationships, mental health, and narcissism. They discuss the concept of the shadow self, the 'Let Them' theory, handling emotional triggers, and the importance of differentiation in relationships. Tony offers advice on dealing with controlling siblings, building clientele as a therapist, managing ADHD and its effects, and overcoming trust issues in relationships. They also touch on practical self-care tips and the journey of personal growth, using real-life examples and interactive discussions with their audience.
00:00 Welcome to TikTok Live
00:10 Introducing the Hosts
00:16 Engaging with Viewers
02:12 Discussing the Shadow Self
04:55 Exploring Family Dynamics
05:51 Romantic Relationships and Vulnerability
06:35 Understanding Emotional Reactions
08:07 Differentiation and Parental Influence
09:59 Setting Boundaries with Parents
10:47 The 'Let Them' Theory
15:20 Dealing with Emotional Regression
17:29 Navigating Breakups and Grief
20:43 Control and Mental Health
22:16 Book Recommendations for Couples
24:09 Making Small Changes for Big Impact
29:56 Managing Depression and Anxiety
31:43 Understanding and Accepting Anxiety
32:28 Facing Fears and Building Connections
33:43 Navigating Negative Environments
38:22 Inner Critic and Self-Acceptance
42:00 Challenges in Therapy and Relationships
01:01:59 Dealing with ADHD and Rejection Sensitivity
01:05:20 Conclusion and Final Thoughts
When Ashlee Boyson answered her door at age 28 to find detectives bearing unimaginable news—her husband murdered, an affair revealed—she became a widow with five children, including a six-week-old baby. In this powerful episode of the Virtual Couch, Tony Overbay, LMFT, explores how this defining moment led Ashlee to become not just a survivor but a guide for others navigating grief's complex terrain. Her groundbreaking book "One Day: A Child's Journey Through Grief and Loss," illustrated by her daughter Bostyn, takes a revolutionary approach by deliberately omitting facial expressions and colors—creating space for authentic emotions rather than prescribing how one "should" feel when grieving.
Beyond the book, Tony and Ashlee dive into the messy truth of grief—how contradictory emotions can coexist, why well-intentioned comfort often invalidates emotional reality, and practical strategies for creating genuine healing. With moments of unexpected laughter amidst profound wisdom, they explore how Ashlee's journey led her to develop courses on infidelity and widowhood, practice foot zoning, and, most importantly, help parents understand that there's no "right way" to grieve. Whether you're personally experiencing loss or supporting someone who is, this conversation offers a masterclass in compassionate presence and emotional intelligence that transcends age, making it essential listening for anyone seeking to process grief authentically.
00:00 Introduction and Announcements
01:35 Introducing Ashley Boyson
02:10 Ashley's Incredible Story
03:27 Ashley's Journey Through Grief
03:54 Discussing Ashley's New Book
12:04 The Healing Power of Foot Zoning
17:40 The Importance of Emotional Awareness
26:35 Addressing Children's Emotional Pain
27:06 Recognizing and Validating Emotions
27:45 Personal Experiences with Suppressed Emotions
28:52 Navigating Grief and Loss
30:33 Complex Emotions and Healing
31:30 The Importance of Open Communication
32:25 Balancing Past and Future Fears
34:11 Encouraging Emotional Expression in Children
35:51 Handling Grief Triggers
43:45 The Role of Truth in Healing
46:21 Final Thoughts and Resources
What happens when two first responders fall in love, face career, life, and faith crises, and embark on a radical journey of healing? How do couples navigate from survival mode to genuine connection after years of chaos and trauma?
Tony welcomes Steph and Craig Salazar, the authentic couple behind the popular podcast "The Steph and Craig Show." What begins as a reunion of newfound friends quickly transforms into a profound exploration of relationship transformation, personal growth, and the messy beauty of healing together.
Steph and Craig share their remarkable journey from meeting as a police officer and dispatcher to becoming relationship content creators who are changing lives through radical vulnerability. They don't hold back as they discuss the chaos of their early relationship—blending families, career crises, mental health struggles, and the imbalanced dynamics that nearly tore them apart.
Listen as they reveal the pivotal moments that shifted their path: Craig's life-changing men's retreat that Steph secretly feared might end their relationship, Steph's breaking point in her dispatch career and her courageous pivot to follow her dreams, and how they both found healing through therapy, spiritual practices, and even psychedelic-assisted healing experiences.
This conversation isn't about relationship experts who have it all figured out. It's about two people who've "taken the scenic route" through life's challenges, hitting every obstacle along the way, and discovering that true connection happens when we heal individually first.
Whether you're facing relationship challenges, navigating career transitions, or doing your own healing work, this episode offers profound insights wrapped in genuine, heartfelt conversation. Steph and Craig's mission to create a mirror where others might see themselves and feel less alone in their struggles shines through every moment of this unforgettable discussion.
Join Tony, Steph, and Craig for a conversation that proves we're all healing together—one vulnerable step at a time. The Steph and Craig Show is available at https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-steph-craig-show/id1742462702 or wherever you listen to podcasts, as well as on YouTube. You can find the episode that Tony references on their show at https://youtu.be/n_LiTO_nt5w?si=GAmnZF3rFdh7QPFH
00:00 Introduction and Welcome
01:07 Special Guests: Steph and Craig
01:49 The Transformative Podcast Episode
02:22 Authenticity and Vulnerability
03:35 The Journey of Steph and Craig
04:03 Career Transitions and Challenges
04:39 The Scenic Route to Healing
07:30 Magic and Connection
10:04 Meeting and Early Relationship
12:02 Navigating Careers and Personal Growth
22:28 Curiosity About Life Changes
23:32 Spiritual Awakening and Energy Healing
24:28 Journey with DreamPod and Financial Stability
25:44 Stephanie's Career Shift and Personal Growth
28:49 Balancing Masculine and Feminine Energies
33:19 Men's Retreat and Emotional Connection
44:12 Therapy and Healing Together
48:45 Current Focus and Future Plans
Show Notes:
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How Steph and Craig met in law enforcement and blended their families
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The career crisis that sent Craig into depression and changed their trajectory
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Why Steph thought sending Craig to a men's retreat might mean the end of their relationship
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Their journey through energy healing, spiritual awakening, and finding authentic connection
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How individual healing created the foundation for relationship transformation
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The role of therapy, MDMA-assisted healing, and psychedelics in their growth
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Their transition from couples coaching to content creation focused on vulnerability
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Tony's reflections on masculine/feminine energy and the burdens in relationships
Keywords: relationship transformation, healing, vulnerability, law enforcement trauma, men's work, couples therapy, psychedelic healing, content creation, authentic connection
Every couple starts their marriage journey with hearts full of hope and eyes bright with optimism. But what happens when the fairy tale meets reality? In this compelling episode of the Virtual Couch, marriage therapist Tony Overbay takes listeners on an intimate journey through the evolution of marriage, sparked by his observation of a young newlywed couple, Hannah and Cody, during a recent podcast interview.
Drawing from over 20 years of experience as a marriage therapist, Tony bridges the gap between those magical early days and the complex reality that many couples face years into their marriage. He addresses the common refrain of "just wait until..." that many newlyweds hear, while offering hope and practical tools for couples at all stages of their relationship.
Key insights include:
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The power of intentional curiosity in long-term relationships
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Why emotional maturity matters more than initial chemistry
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The critical balance between self-care and partner care
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How to maintain individual growth while nurturing your relationship
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The four pillars of connected conversation that can transform your communication
Tony shares vulnerable moments from his own 34-year marriage journey, demonstrating how the principles he teaches aren't just theoretical—they're battle-tested. He tackles the delicate balance between maintaining individual identity and building a strong partnership, offering practical insights for both newlyweds and seasoned couples.
Whether you're basking in newlywed bliss like Hannah and Cody or navigating the complexities of a decades-long partnership, this episode provides a roadmap for understanding how to evolve together while maintaining the spark that brought you together in the first place. Tony's unique perspective helps couples understand that while change is inevitable in marriage, it doesn't have to mean growing apart—it can mean growing together in new and deeper ways.
This episode is essential listening for:
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Newlywed couples wanting to build a strong foundation
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Long-term couples seeking to reconnect or deepen their bond
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Anyone curious about the real journey from romantic love to lasting partnership
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Couples wanting practical tools for better communication and understanding
Join Tony as he unpacks these insights and more, offering both hope and practical strategies for couples at any stage of their marriage journey.
Follow the Q&A Files Podcast on Spotifyhttps://open.spotify.com/show/1k2Oh4rY9VCp1tVeu14dxk?si=a39537613900475b Apple Podcasts https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-q-a-files/id1730736061 or wherever you listen to podcasts.
00:00 Introduction and Podcast Overview
01:52 Reflecting on Marriage and Personal Experiences
03:42 The Importance of Communication in Relationships
05:42 Premarital and Newlywed Counseling Insights
06:59 Four Pillars of a Connected Conversation
11:15 Navigating Discomfort and Growth in Relationships
19:52 Intentionality and Integrity in Commitments
23:22 Embracing Change and Curiosity in Marriage
25:49 Expressing Authenticity
26:00 Navigating Online Dating
28:01 The Game of Emotional Immaturity
28:44 The Challenge of Authenticity in Dating
30:07 Saying 'I Love You'
32:38 Psychological Flexibility in Relationships
39:06 The Importance of Self-Care
42:56 Boundaries and Pathological Kindness
45:07 Choosing Love Daily
46:53 Conclusion and Future Topics
What happens when you walk face-first into a wall at the movies? For therapist Tony Overbay, it led to a deep discussion about relationships, self-worth, and the challenges of being true to yourself in a world that often demands conformity.
In this engaging episode of The Virtual Couch, Tony is joined by his daughter Mackie for their regular Sunday night Q&A session. After sharing a humorous story about his movie theater mishap (complete with butterfly stitches), they dive into profound conversations about relationships, mental health, and personal growth.
The episode explores the concept of "normal" versus "pathological" narcissism, with Tony breaking down Eleanor Greenberg's research on how healthy ego differs from defensive narcissism. They discuss how true confidence comes from actual accomplishments rather than a fragile facade of superiority.
A significant portion focuses on the challenges of maintaining authenticity in relationships, particularly when dealing with emotional immaturity. Tony explains how many people lose themselves trying to make others happy, and the importance of choosing self-care first - not as an act of selfishness, but as a necessary foundation for genuine connection.
The father-daughter duo tackles numerous listener questions, covering topics like:
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Setting healthy boundaries versus giving ultimatums
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The impact of being a "scapegoat" in family dynamics
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Dealing with betrayal trauma and infidelity
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The struggles of highly sensitive people (HSP)
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Navigating relationships with emotionally immature partners
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The challenges of being authentically yourself in a society that often rewards conformity
Throughout the episode, Tony emphasizes the importance of differentiation - developing a strong but flexible sense of self while maintaining connections with others. He provides practical advice for listeners struggling with various relationship challenges, including resources for finding affordable therapy and support groups for those dealing with emotionally immature partners.
The conversation weaves together clinical insights with personal experiences, creating an authentic and relatable dialogue that helps listeners understand they're not alone in their struggles. Tony and Mackie's natural rapport adds warmth and accessibility to complex therapeutic concepts, making them more digestible for a general audience.
00:00 Introduction and Setting the Scene
01:06 Super Bowl and Halftime Show Reactions
02:30 Movie Theater Mishap and Story Time
07:10 Relationship Dynamics and Self-Care
11:47 Understanding Narcissism and Healthy Ego
17:34 Questions from the Audience
41:14 Navigating the Online Dating World
41:50 The Struggle of Authenticity in Relationships
43:20 The Journey of Emotional Growth
47:22 Dealing with Narcissistic Relationships
53:54 The Importance of Setting Boundaries
01:11:12 Overcoming Trauma and Seeking Therapy
01:14:15 Confronting Relationship Challenges
01:19:59 Final Thoughts and Resources
Tony welcomes sisters Sarah Bailey and Karla Cragg, who share a passion for enhancing the social lives of individuals with autism. They introduce their Breaking Social Barriers PEERS program, an evidence-based social skills training course designed specifically for young adults on the autism spectrum. Their program is based on UCLA’s acclaimed PEERS treatment model, the only research-backed method proven to help young adults with autism form and maintain meaningful friendships.
Sarah and Karla provide an inside look at their curriculum, which offers practical strategies for entering, maintaining, and exiting conversations—along with other essential social skills that set individuals up for success. They emphasize the importance of honoring autistic individuals' authenticity while equipping them with the social tools they may need.
The conversation also explores key topics such as the differences between autism and highly sensitive person (HSP) traits, the impact of diagnosis and labeling, and the increasing demand for targeted social skills training.
Tune in to discover how Sarah and Karla’s approach is making a profound difference in the lives of autistic individuals—whether formally diagnosed or self-identified.
Learn more about their evidence-based programs atBreakingSocialBarriers.com.
00:00 Welcome to the Virtual Couch
01:11 Diving into Autism Awareness
02:22 Carla's Journey into Autism Education
05:31 Introducing the Peers Program
08:27 Navigating Social Skills for Young Adults
12:44 Understanding Autism and Neurodiversity
20:43 Navigating Social Interactions with High Functioning Autism
21:27 Teaching the Art of Trading Information
23:30 The Importance of Evidence-Based Social Skills Programs
25:18 Addressing Loneliness and Social Isolation
26:24 Course Structure and Content
29:43 Role Playing and Practical Applications
35:56 Enhancing Authentic Social Interactions
38:29 Conclusion and Contact Information
Have you ever been told you're 'too sensitive' or that you need to ‘get over it,’ or ‘don’t worry about it,’ but that only causes you to worry more, or feel less connected to others, or even yourself? Or have you been told that your sensitivity must mean you're on the autism spectrum? Or are you on the autisim spectrum and can you also identify with many of the characteristics of Highly Sensitive People? With over 2.2 million views and hundreds of comments on recent viral videos about Highly Sensitive People (HSPs), it's clear this topic strikes a nerve. Drawing from his experience working with both HSPs and individuals with ASD, Tony dives deep into why these distinct experiences are often confused - and why understanding the difference isn't just interesting, it's essential for creating a more empathetic world.
Through viral video statistics, personal anecdotes, and real-world examples, he breaks down how HSPs (representing 15-20% of the population) and individuals with ASD navigate life differently. From sensory processing to social dynamics, discover why that deep emotional processing might actually be an evolutionary advantage rather than a disorder. Along the way, the discussion explores how ADHD and NPD (Narcissistic Personality Disorder) intersect with these experiences.
This episode provides crucial insights into recognizing, understanding, and supporting both HSPs and individuals with ASD. Whether questioning your own experiences or trying to better understand someone else's, listeners will find the clarity and validation they've been seeking. Perfect for anyone who's ever felt misunderstood about their sensitivity or confused about where they fit in the neurodiversity spectrum. Join Tony for an eye-opening discussion that might just change how you see yourself - or someone you love."
00:00 Welcome and Introduction
00:30 The Viral Video on Highly Sensitive People
01:04 Behind the Scenes: Social Media Stats
02:05 Addressing Misconceptions and Personal Insights
03:26 A Personal Anecdote: The Butterfly Bandage
04:12 Responding to Drive-By Comments
04:29 Understanding Highly Sensitive People (HSP) vs Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD)
07:27 Story Time: Sarah and Michael's Interaction
18:57 The Evolutionary Purpose of High Sensitivity
21:39 Traits and Characteristics of Highly Sensitive People
29:17 Challenges Faced by Highly Sensitive People
33:59 The Importance of Curiosity and Understanding
35:30 Understanding Human Uniqueness
36:22 Fascinating Facts About Human Preferences
37:22 The Complexity of Sensitivity
39:20 Exploring Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD)
40:49 Comparing HSP and ASD Sensory Experiences
54:50 Social Interactions: HSP vs. ASD
01:00:47 Nonverbal Communication Differences
01:04:26 Emotional Energy and Social Fatigue
01:08:05 Final Thoughts and Listener Engagement
Have you ever tried selling a grand piano on Facebook Marketplace? Our latest episode of the Q&A Files kicks off with some personal tales of downsizing and the hilarious adventures that come with it. Join us as Trisha Jamison, a board-certified functional nutritionist, and Tony Overbay, a licensed marriage and family therapist and seasoned podcaster from The Virtual Couch, and Waking Up To Narcissism, discuss these issues for Tony's podcast, The Virtual Couch.
Trisha and Tony discuss emotional immaturity and narcissistic traits and offer a path to healthier relationships. We share our own journeys of growth and healing to show how. This episode delves into the challenges of navigating emotionally complex relationships and the power of validation. Whether dealing with resistance from a partner or unlocking the transformative potential of self-awareness, our candid discussions aim to provide fresh perspectives and practical strategies for listeners who might be walking similar paths.
Join us next time as we discuss how to keep your relationships fresh by talking to a newlywed couple who are just as cute as can be! Follow the Q&A Files Podcast on Spotify https://open.spotify.com/show/1k2Oh4rY9VCp1tVeu14dxk?si=a39537613900475b Apple Podcasts https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-q-a-files/id1730736061 or wherever you listen to podcasts.
Are you tired of repeating the same relationship patterns? Whether it's constant worry about abandonment or a tendency to keep people at arm's length, these behaviors - known as attachment styles - aren't set in stone.
In part one of this two-part series, therapist Tony Overbay examines the science of attachment theory, tracing its development from John Bowlby and Mary Ainsworth's pioneering "Strange Situation" experiment to current research demonstrating how people can actually change their relationship patterns. Through clinical examples and accessible explanations, Tony breaks down how early experiences with caregivers create blueprints that influence adult relationships - and more importantly, why these patterns can evolve.
Tony explains how understanding attachment style connects to emotional maturity and self-awareness. Listeners will learn about different attachment patterns, how they manifest in daily life, and why these early-developed patterns aren't a reflection of personal failure - they emerged before conscious choice was possible.
This episode provides the foundation for a deeper exploration of attachment style change and relationship transformation. For anyone dealing with trust issues, abandonment fears, or struggles with emotional intimacy, the discussion offers concrete insights into becoming more secure in relationships.
Part 2 will delve into specific strategies for building secure attachments and showing up differently in relationships. As Tony often says, "You're not broken, you're human" - and humans have a remarkable capacity for growth.
00:00 Welcome Back and New Beginnings
00:28 Understanding Narcissism and Emotional Maturity
02:05 Personal Struggles and Emotional Growth
04:40 Podcast Updates and Future Plans
06:59 Introduction to Attachment Theory
10:06 The Strange Situation Experiment
12:28 Attachment Styles and Their Impact
17:25 Early Childhood and Relationship Templates
21:04 Avoidant Attachment in Adulthood
22:07 The Painful Dance of Intimacy
23:52 The Role of Fathers in Attachment
24:37 Presence and Radiance: A Father's Influence
26:18 Emotional Safety and Consistency
29:31 Navigating Emotions and Independence
39:53 Challenges of Absent Fathers
44:12 Healing Attachment Wounds
44:33 Conclusion and Next Steps
Find more from Tony Overbay:
TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@virtualcouch
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/virtual.couch/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/tonyoverbaylmft/
Apple Podcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-virtual-couch/id1275153998
Website: https://www.tonyoverbay.com/
Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/virtualcouch
To learn more about Tony's upcoming re-release of the Magnetic Marriage course, his Pathback Recovery course, and more, sign up for his newsletter through the link at https://linktr.ee/virtualcouch
Available NOW: Tony's "Magnetic Marriage Mini-Course" is only $25. https://magneticmarriage.mykajabi.com/magnetic-marriage-mini-course
Subscribe to Tony's latest podcast, "Waking Up to Narcissism Q&A - Premium Podcast," on the Apple Podcast App. https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/waking-up-to-narcissism-q-a/id1667287384
Go to http://tonyoverbay.com/workshop to sign up for Tony's "Magnetize Your Marriage" virtual workshop. The cost is only $19, and you'll learn the top 3 things you can do NOW to create a Magnetic Marriage.
You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program, The Path Back, by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit
Tony mentioned a product that he used to take out all of the "uh's" and "um's" that, in his words, "must be created by wizards and magic!" because it's that good! To learn more about Descript, click here https://descript.com?lmref=bSWcEQ
In this special bonus episode of The Virtual Couch, host Tony Overbay, a licensed marriage and family therapist, is joined by his daughter Sydney for a live Q&A session originally aired on TikTok. The duo addresses a variety of mental health topics, including ADHD management, the importance of setting realistic New Year's resolutions, and how to navigate emotional boundaries in relationships. Listeners can learn about the differences between CBT and ACT therapy, how to handle emotional immaturity and narcissism in relationships, and practical strategies for dealing with ADHD, such as medication and increasing emotional tolerance. Tony and Sydney also discuss complex emotional topics like disassociation, rejection sensitivity, and the impact of childhood defense mechanisms on adult behaviors. For those unable to join live, the episode is available on Tony's Virtual Couch YouTube channel. Viewers are encouraged to submit their mental health questions for future episodes.
00:00 Welcome to The Virtual Couch
01:18 Live Q&A Introduction
02:37 Discussing New Year's Resolutions
03:36 Understanding Socially Compliant Goals
04:44 Experiential Avoidance Explained
05:31 Setting Realistic Goals
08:06 Addressing ADHD and Rejection Sensitivity
12:02 Navigating Emotional Immaturity in Relationships
18:08 Falling in Love Outside of Marriage
21:15 ADHD and Attachment Styles
23:35 Gaslighting: A Childhood Defense Mechanism
28:41 The Impact of ADHD Medication
42:10 Addressing Basic Needs
42:22 Exploring Non-Stimulant ADHD Medications
43:53 Understanding the Window of Tolerance
46:10 Thoughts on TMS Therapy
47:49 Discussing DPDR Disorder
49:25 Cognitive Behavioral Therapy vs. Acceptance and Commitment Therapy
52:36 Navigating Emotional Sensitivity and Boundaries
57:00 Understanding Borderline Personality Disorder
01:00:00 The Role of Therapy and Validation
01:11:07 Highly Sensitive Person (HSP) Traits
01:20:33 Concluding Thoughts and Q&A
Find more from Tony Overbay:
TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@virtualcouch
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/virtual.couch/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/tonyoverbaylmft/
Apple Podcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-virtual-couch/id1275153998
Website: https://www.tonyoverbay.com/
Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/virtualcouch
Tony exposes something that will forever change how you hear conversations - including your own. That moment when someone says, 'I feel like you don't care' might not actually be about feelings at all..."
Have you ever said "I feel like this isn't working," when what you really meant was, "I think this isn't working - and I'm scared"? In this eye-opening episode, Tony delves into the subtle but powerful difference between thoughts and feelings, revealing how this common confusion shapes our relationships in unexpected ways.
Through engaging stories from his therapy practice, Tony shows how something as simple as saying "I feel like" when we mean "I think" can accidentally put others on the defensive and hide our true emotions. You'll discover why that matters more than you might think - especially in your closest relationships.
Drawing from both clinical experience and relatable examples (including a story about forgotten tacos at a dinner party), Tony explores:
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Why we often mask our true feelings behind thoughts
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How childhood experiences shape our comfort with emotional expression
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The surprising reason self-compassion feels threatening to many people
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Practical ways to build a richer emotional vocabulary
Once you understand this pattern, you'll start noticing it everywhere - in your conversations, in others' speech, and maybe even in your own internal dialogue. Visit Tony's new website https://tonyoverbay.com for additional resources on emotional intelligence and join his Patreon community at https://patreon.com/virtualcouch for exclusive content and Q&A sessions where you can dive deeper into these insights.
This isn't just another episode about communication - it's about understanding why we hide our true feelings and how to finally express what we really mean.
Find more from Tony Overbay:
TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@virtualcouch
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/virtual.couch/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/tonyoverbaylmft/
Apple Podcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-virtual-couch/id1275153998
Website: https://www.tonyoverbay.com/
Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/virtualcouch
00:00 Welcome to The Virtual Couch
00:52 Understanding Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms
01:20 Exciting Announcements and Facial Hair
03:07 Unseen Patterns and Hidden Meanings
05:49 The Power of Confirmation Bias
08:58 Thoughts vs. Feelings: A Therapy Insight
17:33 Emotional Vocabulary and Childhood Influences
23:20 Separating Observations from Judgments
24:03 Witness vs. Lawyer: A Car Accident Case
24:44 Applying the Concept to Relationships
25:39 Curiosity Over Judgment
27:15 Workplace Communication
29:37 The Taco Story: A Lesson in Self-Compassion
34:56 The Impact of Self-Criticism
39:13 Embracing Psychological Flexibility
40:57 Conclusion and Final Thoughts
Are you tired of the endless pursuit of perfection? Do you question why your self-esteem seems more tied to others' opinions than your own self-worth? In this transformative episode, Tony explores the crucial difference between self-esteem and self-compassion, drawing from Dr. Kristin Neff's groundbreaking research. Through personal experiences and scientific insights, Tony challenges our cultural obsession with self-esteem, revealing why the constant pressure to be "above average" creates an impossible and unhealthy standard for well-being.
Learn how self-compassion offers a more sustainable path to genuine self-acceptance through its three core components: self-kindness, common humanity, and mindfulness. Tony delves into the fascinating neuroscience behind mindfulness practices, explaining how they physically rewire our brains for greater emotional regulation and self-awareness. Drawing from Viktor Frankl's profound insights as a Holocaust survivor and author of "Man's Search for Meaning," Tony illustrates how finding meaning in our struggles can transform our relationship with ourselves and others.
This episode provides both the scientific framework and practical tools needed to develop self-compassion in daily life. Whether you struggle with perfectionism, find yourself caught in comparison traps, or simply want to develop a more stable sense of self-worth, you'll discover why self-compassion offers all the benefits of high self-esteem without its potential downsides. Join Tony as he shares actionable strategies for transforming your relationship with yourself and finding peace in the simple truth that you're not broken - you're human.
00:00 Introduction and Personal Story
01:46 The Therapist's Dilemma: Hope vs. Reality
04:33 Exploring Self-Esteem and Self-Compassion
07:01 The Impact of Comparison and External Validation
11:02 Value-Based Goal Setting and Radical Acceptance
13:08 Parental Support and Secure Attachment
15:25 Listener Insights on Self-Esteem
16:32 Embracing Self-Compassion
23:22 Seeking Validation and Self-Compassion
24:16 Confessions of an Ultramarathoner
26:18 Accepting Mediocrity in Running
29:19 The Power of Self-Compassion
33:25 Mindfulness and Self-Kindness
35:19 A Personal Podcasting Challenge
39:21 Viktor Frankl's Wisdom on Meaning
45:23 The Journey of Self-Compassion
Tony delves into smiling depression, medication, and natural ways to improve brain chemistry, Persistent Depressive Disorder (PDD), formerly known as dysthymia- and much more! NOTE - Tony is not a doctor, and he shares a helpful way of how medications work that was explained to him, including what neurotransmitters are. What roles do serotonin, dopamine, norepinephrine, GABA, and glutamate play in one's mental health, and why do so many of the medications involve “reuptaking,” and what does that mean? Tony’s advice is not to be viewed as a replacement for medical advice; he strongly recommends that people meet regularly with their doctor for medical advice.
Tony explores the differences between various mental health conditions like PDD, OCD, NPD, and more. He also explores the historical context of dysthymia, the changes in diagnostic criteria with the release of DSM-5, the significance of moving the diagnosis from a personality disorder to a mood disorder, and how the two differ.
Additionally, we will discuss treatment options, including therapy and medication, and more practical advice for those struggling with chronic low-grade depression.
This episode is packed with insights and is a perfect listen before Thanksgiving for some psychological fun facts to share around the family table.
Find more from Tony Overbay:
TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@virtualcouch
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/virtual.couch/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/tonyoverbaylmft/
Apple Podcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-virtual-couch/id1275153998
Website: https://www.tonyoverbay.com/
Link Tree: https://linktr.ee/virtualcouch
Chapters:
00:00 Decoding the Alphabet Soup of Mental Health
02:12 Introduction to the Podcast and Host
02:38 Understanding Dysthymia & Persistent Depressive Disorder
04:44 DSM & ICD: Mental Health Diagnostic Tools
15:54 Personality Disorders vs. Mood Disorders
22:51 Exploring the History & Impact of Dysthymia
25:41 Causes and Management of Persistent Depressive Disorder
28:24 Role of a Muse in Self-Discovery
29:02 Impact of Stress on Mental Health
29:13 Acceptance and Commitment Therapy
29:33 Understanding Your Emotions
30:28 Treating Persistent Depressive Disorder
31:36 Science Behind Neurotransmitters
33:43 How Reuptake Inhibitors Work
45:50 Natural Ways to Improve Brain Chemistry
47:17 Understanding Dysthymia
51:07 Your Journey of Personal Growth
Tony welcomes guests Nate and Marla Christensen to discuss the concept of self-compassion. Nate is an ALPC, and Marla is an ALPC and AMFT. They delve into the groundbreaking research of Kristen Neff, who has spent 20 years studying the benefits of self-compassion, including its effects on PTSD, anxiety, depression, and overall mental health. The episode explores the three main components of self-compassion—mindfulness, self-kindness, and common humanity—and addresses common misconceptions such as self-compassion being viewed as weakness, self-indulgence, or selfishness. They share personal insights and clinical experiences, making a compelling case for incorporating self-compassion into daily life and therapy. Nate and Marla are both currently working under Tony's license, and both currently have openings in their schedule. To reach Nate, email him at natechristensencounseling@gmail.com, and for Marla, email marlachristensencounseling@gmail.com, or you can contact them through Tony at contact@tonyoverbay.com. You can view Nate and Marla's episode on LeadingSaints.org here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?app=desktop&v=0f9P-Xk5ZaE
00:00 Introduction and Episode Overview
02:46 Guest Introduction: Nate and Marla Christensen
02:53 Discussing Self-Compassion
03:45 Nate and Marla's Professional Background
08:16 The Importance of Self-Compassion
14:25 Common Misconceptions About Self-Compassion
17:04 Scientific Insights on Self-Compassion
25:25 Historical Context and Recent Research
27:27 Exploring Self-Compassion
28:32 Understanding Mindfulness
30:59 Practicing Self-Kindness
32:52 Embracing Common Humanity
34:58 Motivation Through Self-Compassion
35:53 Challenges in Self-Compassion
39:14 Cultural Perspectives on Compassion
41:11 Reparenting and Emotional Maturity
45:52 Final Thoughts and Reflections
Have you ever wondered why your aging parent suddenly needs to arrive an hour early for everything? Or why, after knowing them your entire life, they suddenly appear to be trying to exert control and order at a level that you’ve never experienced? In today’s episode of The Virtual Couch podcast, Tony Overbay, LMFT, takes us on a fascinating journey through the human brain, starting with the incredible story of Phineas Gage - the man who survived an iron rod through his head and lived to tell the tale (though he wasn't quite the same person afterward).
From there, he dives into something most all of us are impacted by, either directly or through someone that we care about - anxiety. But not just any anxiety - we're talking about why our caveman's brains are still trying to protect us from tigers in the parking lot and how this shows up differently as we age. Tony breaks down the fundamental differences between normal aging, dementia, and Alzheimer's in a way that finally makes sense.
Tony then breaks down a listener's email about their father’s increasingly anxious behaviors. Tony unpacks powerful tools for handling these delicate family situations. Tony introduces the acceptance and commitment therapy (ACT) principle of psychological flexibility (think yoga for your emotions) and shares David Schnarch's “4 Points of Balance” to becoming more differentiated, which helps you maintain your sanity while staying connected to those you love.
Tony explains Schnarch’s 'crucible' as the transformative space where relationships grow or crack under pressure. Whether you're dealing with an aging parent, a challenging relationship, or just trying to understand why people do what they do, this episode offers the “why” behind our anxious and controlling behaviors and practical ways to navigate life's complicated relationships without losing yourself.
00:00 The Incredible Story of Phineas Gage
04:04 Introduction to the Virtual Couch
05:38 Listener's Email: Concerns About Aging Parent
07:40 Understanding Anxiety and Its Evolution
14:57 Distinguishing Dementia and Alzheimer's
17:33 Coping with Aging and Anxiety
24:50 Practical Advice for Managing Anxiety
24:59 Reframing Perspectives
25:09 Empathy and Understanding
25:25 Intentional Conversations
25:55 Meeting Halfway
26:12 Choosing Your Battles
26:54 Boundaries vs Ultimatums
27:12 Psychological Reactance
30:22 Differentiation and Emotional Autonomy
32:57 Four Points of Balance
38:30 Constructing Your Crucible
44:43 Final Thoughts and Takeaways
To learn more about Tony's upcoming re-release of the Magnetic Marriage course, his Pathback Recovery course, and more, sign up for his newsletter through the link at https://linktr.ee/virtualcouch
Available NOW: Tony's "Magnetic Marriage Mini-Course" is only $25. https://magneticmarriage.mykajabi.com/magnetic-marriage-mini-course
Please follow Tony’s newest Instagram account for the Waking Up to Narcissism podcast https://www.instagram.com/wutnpod/ as well as Tony’s account https://www.instagram.com/tonyoverbay_lmft/
Subscribe to Tony's latest podcast, "Waking Up to Narcissism Q&A - Premium Podcast," on the Apple Podcast App. https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/waking-up-to-narcissism-q-a/id1667287384
Go to http://tonyoverbay.com/workshop to sign up for Tony's "Magnetize Your Marriage" virtual workshop. The cost is only $19, and you'll learn the top 3 things you can do NOW to create a Magnetic Marriage.
You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program, The Path Back, by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit
Tony mentioned a product that he used to take out all of the "uh's" and "um's" that, in his words, "must be created by wizards and magic!" because it's that good! To learn more about Descript, click here https://descript.com?lmref=bSWcEQ
Tony Overbay, LMFT explores themes of faith journeys, parental expectations, communication, differentiation, and self-discovery through an allegorical story titled 'Off the Beaten Path: Finding Love and Self in a World of Conformity.' The narrative follows a young man named Ansel, who grapples with societal expectations, familial pressures, and his journey toward self-acceptance. Through meaningful encounters and introspection, Ansel learns to embrace his individuality amidst traditional, religious, and cultural norms. This episode also highlights the importance of personal integrity the challenges of navigating faith and family systems, and encourages listeners to explore their unique talents and values. Tony invites the audience to share their stories and questions about their own faith and family journeys for future episodes.
00:00 Welcome and Introduction
01:17 “Not My Job” song by: Riley Hope
02:48 The Power of Writing and Poetry
05:26 Exploring Allegories
06:44 Off the Beaten Path: Ansul's Journey Begins
12:14 Ansul's Struggles and Self-Discovery
16:17 Meeting Maris: A New Connection
17:52 Seeking Guidance: Ansul's Dilemma
18:31 Ansul's Realization and Self-Acceptance
19:00 Building a Relationship with Maris
20:42 Themes of the Allegory: Individuality vs. Conformity
22:32 Exploring Faith and Doubt
22:53 Coming of Age and Self-Discovery
23:30 Truth, Knowledge, and Intergenerational Expectations
25:34 Curiosity, Love, and Acceptance
26:38 Personal Growth Through Discomfort
27:19 Diversity of Thought and Self-Acceptance
29:24 Navigating Difficult Journeys of Faith and Family
31:00 Encouragement for Personal Growth and Authenticity
33:02 Conclusion and Call to Action
To learn more about Tony's upcoming re-release of the Magnetic Marriage course, his Pathback Recovery course, and more, sign up for his newsletter through the link at https://linktr.ee/virtualcouch
Available NOW: Tony's "Magnetic Marriage Mini-Course" is only $25. https://magneticmarriage.mykajabi.com/magnetic-marriage-mini-course
Please follow Tony’s newest Instagram account for the Waking Up to Narcissism podcast https://www.instagram.com/wutnpod/ as well as Tony’s account https://www.instagram.com/tonyoverbay_lmft/
Subscribe to Tony's latest podcast, "Waking Up to Narcissism Q&A - Premium Podcast," on the Apple Podcast App. https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/waking-up-to-narcissism-q-a/id1667287384
Go to http://tonyoverbay.com/workshop to sign up for Tony's "Magnetize Your Marriage" virtual workshop. The cost is only $19, and you'll learn the top 3 things you can do NOW to create a Magnetic Marriage.
You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program, The Path Back, by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit
Tony mentioned a product that he used to take out all of the "uh's" and "um's" that, in his words, "must be created by wizards and magic!" because it's that good! To learn more about Descript, click here https://descript.com?lmref=bSWcEQ
McKinley “Mackie” Overbay, host of “The Mind, the Mirror, and Me,” and Tony Overbay, LMFT, return after a significant hiatus to discuss numerous life updates, including their recent move to Arizona and Mackie's health journey with Hashimoto's disease. They delve into the struggles and triumphs of losing 55 pounds, the importance of self-love, and the necessity of balancing mind and body health. The conversation touches on the challenges of diet, exercise, meditation, and maintaining consistency. It's a candid look at personal transformation, resilience, and the importance of understanding and caring for oneself amidst life's unpredictable challenges.
00:00 Introduction and Opening Banter
00:25 Welcome Back and New Beginnings
01:18 Social Media and Personal Updates
03:21 Discussing Past Episodes and Themes
05:25 Weight Loss Journey and Health Challenges
07:25 Understanding Hashimoto's Disease
11:21 Reflections on Self-Worth and Body Image
14:20 Diet Changes and Lifestyle Adjustments
24:18 Thyroid Health and Medical Insights
27:56 Understanding Perimenopause and Hormonal Changes
28:16 Unexpected Balloon Incident
28:54 Recognizing and Addressing Health Issues
30:39 The Journey to Diagnosis
32:13 Lifestyle Changes and Their Impact
34:21 The Importance of Consistency and Motivation
35:51 Managing Inflammation and Dietary Adjustments
37:21 Exercise and Weight Loss Strategies
39:37 The Role of Meditation and Mindfulness
48:14 Embracing Self-Worth and Positivity
53:02 Concluding Thoughts and Reflections
To learn more about Tony's upcoming re-release of the Magnetic Marriage course, his Pathback Recovery course, and more, sign up for his newsletter through the link at https://linktr.ee/virtualcouch
Available NOW: Tony's "Magnetic Marriage Mini-Course" is only $25. https://magneticmarriage.mykajabi.com/magnetic-marriage-mini-course
Please follow Tony’s newest Instagram account for the Waking Up to Narcissism podcast https://www.instagram.com/wutnpod/ as well as Tony’s account https://www.instagram.com/tonyoverbay_lmft/
Subscribe to Tony's latest podcast, "Waking Up to Narcissism Q&A - Premium Podcast," on the Apple Podcast App. https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/waking-up-to-narcissism-q-a/id1667287384
Go to http://tonyoverbay.com/workshop to sign up for Tony's "Magnetize Your Marriage" virtual workshop. The cost is only $19, and you'll learn the top 3 things you can do NOW to create a Magnetic Marriage.
You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program, The Path Back, by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit
Tony mentioned a product that he used to take out all of the "uh's" and "um's" that, in his words, "must be created by wizards and magic!" because it's that good! To learn more about Descript, click here https://descript.com?lmref=bSWcEQ
Do you find yourself constantly putting others' needs before your own? Have you ever wondered if being "too kind" could actually be harmful to your relationships and well-being? In today’s crossover episode - Tony Overbay, a licensed marriage and family therapist, explores the complex concept of pathological kindness in relationships. Through a listener's letter from 'Cleo,' Tony delves into the challenges faced by those who prioritize others' needs to their detriment, often rooted in childhood experiences of being the family peacemaker. Cleo's story highlights issues with her emotionally inconsistent partner, Ray, unveiling the struggles of living with someone emotionally immature or narcissistic. Tony discusses recognizing these patterns, including the role of cognitive dissonance and trauma bonding in maintaining unhealthy relationships. He explores how highly sensitive people (HSPs) may be particularly vulnerable to these dynamics. The episode emphasizes the importance of developing a stable core identity, setting boundaries, and balancing kindness with self-care. Tony also touches on the challenges of breaking free from intermittent reinforcement in relationships and recognizing and trusting one's own perceptions. He stresses the role of therapy and self-awareness in breaking free from unhealthy cycles and fostering emotionally mature relationships while also offering hope to those who recognize themselves as the emotionally immature partner and want to change.
00:00 Introduction and Podcast Promotion
01:19 Introducing Cleo's Story
03:16 Cleo's Relationship Struggles
10:38 Understanding Pathological Kindness
16:28 The Impact of Pathological Kindness
21:36 Balancing Kindness and Self-Care
25:09 Exploring Self-Reliance and Its Pitfalls
25:24 The Dual Nature of Optimism
25:40 Understanding Humility and Self-Deprecation
26:26 The Complexities of Honesty
27:09 Patience vs. Passivity
27:24 Competence and Arrogance
28:00 Cleo's Relationship with Ray
29:04 The Struggle of Highly Sensitive People
29:48 The Challenge of Leaving Toxic Relationships
33:23 The Cognitive Dissonance and Trauma Bonding
45:04 The Importance of Self-Care and Boundaries
46:03 Encouragement for Personal Growth
To learn more about Tony's upcoming re-release of the Magnetic Marriage course, his Pathback Recovery course, and more, sign up for his newsletter through the link at https://linktr.ee/virtualcouch
Available NOW: Tony's "Magnetic Marriage Mini-Course" is only $25. https://magneticmarriage.mykajabi.com/magnetic-marriage-mini-course
Subscribe to Tony's latest podcast, "Waking Up to Narcissism Q&A - Premium Podcast," on the Apple Podcast App. https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/waking-up-to-narcissism-q-a/id1667287384
Go to http://tonyoverbay.com/workshop to sign up for Tony's "Magnetize Your Marriage" virtual workshop. The cost is only $19, and you'll learn the top 3 things you can do NOW to create a Magnetic Marriage.
You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program, The Path Back, by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com
And visit
Tony mentioned a product that he used to take out all of the "uh's" and "um's" that, in his words, "must be created by wizards and magic!" because it's that g
Tony talks with musician Ian McConnell. Ian kicks off his “Primary Source” tour this Thursday, August 15th, in Dallas, TX, and will visit 25 more spots around the country (tickets for Ian’s “Primary Source” tour can be purchased through his website https://www.ianmcconnellmusic.com). Ian opens up about his journey in the music industry, touring experiences, and personal struggles. They discuss everything from car troubles and pandemic life to faith deconstruction and mental health therapy. Ian shares his approach to writing meaningful songs that resonate with listeners, his views on human purpose, and the emotional highs and lows of social media success. The episode offers a deep dive into Ian's creative process and the challenges of maintaining authenticity and self-care in a demanding industry. Tune in for an introspective and engaging conversation on living a good life, mental health, and the power of music. You can find Ian on all popular social media platforms.
00:00 Introduction and Casual Conversation
00:38 Desert Life and Moving to Phoenix
01:20 Touring Experiences and Plans
02:59 Existential Crisis and Songwriting
04:09 Faith Deconstruction and Personal Growth
06:45 The Pursuit of Happiness and Validation
15:41 Nashville and Country Music Journey
24:09 Pandemic Challenges and TikTok Success
25:35 Diving into Music and Social Media
26:30 Navigating Roommate Tensions and Relationships
27:26 Exploring Emotional Immaturity and People-Pleasing
30:50 The Rush of Social Media Fame
31:40 Creating Music Independently
34:02 Reflecting on Mental Health and Therapy
35:23 Releasing Music Like a TV Show
37:34 Analyzing Lyrics and Personal Experiences
45:56 The Joy and Nerves of Performing Live
46:57 Wrapping Up and Future Plans
To learn more about Tony's upcoming re-release of the Magnetic Marriage course, his Pathback Recovery course, and more, sign up for his newsletter through the link at https://linktr.ee/virtualcouch
Available NOW: Tony's "Magnetic Marriage Mini-Course" is only $25. https://magneticmarriage.mykajabi.com/magnetic-marriage-mini-course
Subscribe to Tony's latest podcast, "Waking Up to Narcissism Q&A - Premium Podcast," on the Apple Podcast App. https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/waking-up-to-narcissism-q-a/id1667287384
Go to http://tonyoverbay.com/workshop to sign up for Tony's "Magnetize Your Marriage" virtual workshop. The cost is only $19, and you'll learn the top 3 things you can do NOW to create a Magnetic Marriage.
You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program, The Path Back, by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com
And visit
Tony mentioned a product that he used to take out all of the "uh's" and "um's" that, in his words, "must be created by wizards and magic!" because it's that good! To learn more about Descript, click here https://descript.com?lmref=bSWcEQ
Tony Overbay, LMFT, tackles an emotion we've all felt but rarely discuss: shame. Have you ever wondered why shame feels so personal, so all-consuming? Could it be that shame is actually... selfish?
Inspired by a pivotal scene from the Apple TV series 'Presumed Innocent', Tony unravels the tangled web of shame and guilt. He asks: What if our shame is holding us back more than we realize? Is it possible that by focusing on our shame, we're actually being self-absorbed?
Tony dives deep into the origins of these complex emotions and their surprising impacts on our personal growth and relationships. He offers practical strategies for recognizing and overcoming shame, emphasizing the power of self-awareness and acceptance.
But here's the kicker - what if shame isn't just about you? Tony explores how understanding shame can transform our empathy and support for others. He challenges listeners to question: Are we using shame as a shield when it's actually a barrier to genuine connection?
Whether you're grappling with your own feelings of shame or trying to support someone who is, this episode promises insights that could change how you view yourself and others. Ready to unmask shame and discover a path to authentic self-esteem?
In this episode of 'The Virtual Couch,' host Tony Overbay shares his transformative epiphany from watching the Apple TV series 'Presumed Innocent.' He dives into the profound distinctions between shame and guilt, using a key scene from the show as a focal point. Tony explores how these concepts relate to personal growth and therapy, offering practical tools and insights to help listeners better understand and manage their own experiences with shame. This episode aims to foster a healthier relationship with oneself and promote emotional awareness and self-compassion.
00:00 Introduction and Epiphany
00:51 Setting the Stage: Presumed Innocent
01:53 The Epiphany: Guilt vs. Shame
02:39 Exploring Discomfort and Reactions
04:20 Understanding Shame and Its Origins
07:38 The Selfishness of Shame
19:30 Implicit Memory and Thought Patterns
25:59 Transforming Negative Thoughts
26:24 Creating Space for Positive Experiences
27:30 The Journey of Changing Your Internal Landscape
29:36 Understanding and Managing Discomfort
32:01 The Concept of First and Second Darts
32:49 Stages of Growth and Self-Awareness
39:12 The Role of Shame and Guilt
42:42 Applying Compassion and Empathy
45:13 Final Thoughts and Encouragement
Who are you? How do others view you? And why do we care so much about what others think of us, especially when they probably aren't spending as much time thinking about us as we think they are? When they do think about us, they see us through their own lens. It’s time to discover who you are. So, how exactly do you do that?
Tony Overbay, LMFT, reads a heartfelt letter from a long-time listener, Jamie, who struggles with issues in her marriage and recognizes patterns from her childhood that affect how she interacts with her spouse and children. Tony explores the concept of the 'Looking Glass Self' by Charles Horton Cooley, discussing how our self-identity is shaped by our perceptions of how others view us. He uses examples from listeners and clients to explain how these early experiences impact our self-esteem and relationships. Tony introduces the modern-day concept of the 'reflected sense of self' from David Schnarch's theories of differentiation and provides practical advice on overcoming the need for external validation, forming healthier attachments, and developing a stable self-identity.
Join Tony as he navigates these deep psychological concepts and offers insights into creating more emotionally secure and fulfilling connections.
00:00 Listener's Heartfelt Letter
02:31 Introduction to Episode 424
03:10 Exploring the Concept of the Mirror
03:29 Charles Horton Cooley and the Looking Glass Self
09:00 Real-Life Examples of the Looking Glass Self
16:16 Differentiation and Emotional Independence
16:57 Balancing Connection and Individuality
18:47 The Reflected Sense of Self
27:00 Understanding Identity and Self-Worth
27:55 The Role of External Validation
29:25 Parent-Child Dynamics and Conditional Love
30:53 Emotional Neglect and Its Impact
33:21 Attachment Styles and Emotional Support
40:13 The Concept of Shame and Guilt
46:26 Overcoming Childhood Wounds
49:35 Final Thoughts and Encouragement
Tony Overbay, LMFT, and Marla Christensen, AMFT, APCC, dive deep into the complexities of betrayal trauma, focusing on the emotional and cognitive challenges faced by both partners. They explore how the betrayer's shame and fragmented memories often lead to staggered disclosures, which can further traumatize the betrayed partner. Over time, understanding the flawed nature of memory, the impact of shame, our desire to alleviate discomfort at almost any cost, and the human need for certainty is crucial. By developing emotional regulation, better communication skills, and a deeper understanding of oneself and each other, couples can approach the formal disclosure process with less pain, more intention and compassion, and potentially more realistic expectations. This discussion highlights the importance of patience, education, and therapeutic support in healing betrayal trauma.
Tony shares the continuing evolution of his therapeutic approach for working with betrayal trauma, building off of his work with hundreds of couples over the past decade. Tony emphasizes the need to intentionally delay full disclosure until a strong foundation of emotional skills and mutual understanding is built. He explains how therapists must remain differentiated and confident in their methods to guide couples through this challenging process. By focusing on the concepts of memory, certainty, emotional immaturity, and effective communication, Tony and Marla offer valuable insights for anyone navigating the painful path of betrayal trauma.
If you are interested in contacting or working with Marla, reach out to her at marlachristensencounseling@gmail.com
00:00 Welcome Back to the Virtual Couch
00:24 Understanding Dual Licensing
01:50 The Licensing Exam Experience
02:31 Introducing the Controversial Theory on Betrayal Trauma
03:39 The Concept of Formal Disclosure
06:34 Personal Experiences with Staggered Disclosure
09:15 Confabulation and Memory Mechanisms
15:55 Therapeutic Approaches to Betrayal Trauma
19:03 Recognizing Signs of Discouragement
20:48 The Two-Choice Dilemma
22:46 Understanding Memory and Its Challenges
27:10 The Quest for Certainty in Relationships
34:39 The Concept of Lying and Its Implications
36:19 Final Thoughts and Reflections
To learn more about Tony's upcoming re-release of the Magnetic Marriage course, his Pathback Recovery course, and more, sign up for his newsletter through the link at https://linktr.ee/virtualcouch
Available NOW: Tony's "Magnetic Marriage Mini-Course" is only $25. https://magneticmarriage.mykajabi.com/magnetic-marriage-mini-course
Please follow Tony’s newest Instagram account for the Waking Up to Narcissism podcast https://www.instagram.com/wutnpod/ as well as Tony’s account https://www.instagram.com/tonyoverbay_lmft/
Subscribe to Tony's latest podcast, "Waking Up to Narcissism Q&A - Premium Podcast," on the Apple Podcast App. https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/waking-up-to-narcissism-q-a/id1667287384
Go to http://tonyoverbay.com/workshop to sign up for Tony's "Magnetize Your Marriage" virtual workshop. The cost is only $19, and you'll learn the top 3 things you can do NOW to create a Magnetic Marriage.
You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program, The Path Back, by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com
Tony mentioned a product that he used to take out all of the "uh's" and "um's" that, in his words, "must be created by wizards and magic!" because it's that good! To learn more about Descript, click here https://descript.com?lmref=bSWcEQ
Understanding the interplay between expectations and emotions can not only help you stay more grounded, but it can also significantly impact your relationships in a positive way. In this episode, Tony delves into the art of managing expectations and emotions to foster healthier connections with others.
Tony explores the detrimental effects of unhealthy coping mechanisms such as pornography, food, or overworking and provides valuable resources for those struggling, including his Path Back recovery group and upcoming emotional maturity courses.
He breaks down the intricate relationship between expectations and emotions, explaining how they influence our reactions and interactions. Tony emphasizes the importance of mindfulness, flexibility, and clear communication in navigating these dynamics.
Through engaging narratives, Tony illustrates how expectations and emotions can either work in harmony or clash, offering practical advice on emotional regulation and psychological flexibility. Tune in to learn how to manage your inner experiences better and cultivate more fulfilling relationships.
00:00 Introduction to the Virtual Couch Podcast
00:36 Exploring the Path Back Recovery Group
01:02 The Complex Dynamics of Shame and Relationships
01:44 Navigating Emotional Needs and Relationship Dynamics
04:24 Understanding Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms
08:09 The Importance of Emotional Maturity and Tools for Growth
09:42 Expectations vs. Emotions: A Deep Dive
23:17 Navigating Discomfort and Unmet Expectations
23:48 The Healing Dialogue: Emotions Meet Expectations
25:08 Personal Journey: From Tech to Therapy
27:39 Embracing Discomfort for Growth
35:39 Managing Expectations to Foster Emotional Well-being
38:17 The Power of Acceptance and Psychological Flexibility
41:16 Emotional Regulation: Techniques and Tools
43:50 Concluding Thoughts on Growth and Self-Compassion
To learn more about Tony's upcoming re-release of the Magnetic Marriage course, his Pathback Recovery course, and more, sign up for his newsletter through the link at https://linktr.ee/virtualcouch
Available NOW: Tony's "Magnetic Marriage Mini-Course" is only $25. https://magneticmarriage.mykajabi.com/magnetic-marriage-mini-course
Please follow Tony’s newest Instagram account for the Waking Up to Narcissism podcast https://www.instagram.com/wutnpod/ as well as Tony’s account https://www.instagram.com/tonyoverbay_lmft/
Subscribe to Tony's latest podcast, "Waking Up to Narcissism Q&A - Premium Podcast," on the Apple Podcast App. https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/waking-up-to-narcissism-q-a/id1667287384
Go to http://tonyoverbay.com/workshop to sign up for Tony's "Magnetize Your Marriage" virtual workshop. The cost is only $19, and you'll learn the top 3 things you can do NOW to create a Magnetic Marriage.
You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program, The Path Back, by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com
Tony mentioned a product that he used to take out all of the "uh's" and "um's" that, in his words, "must be created by wizards and magic!" because it's that good! To learn more about Descript, click here https://descript.com?lmref=bSWcEQ
Tony Overbay, LMFT, discusses the critical role of differentiation in personal development and relationship growth. Sharing the story of a couple, Lisa and Mike, Tony illustrates how unresolved childhood dynamics can lead to emotional stagnation and superficial interactions in adulthood. He delves into the concepts of differentiation and emotional maturity, drawing on the theories of psychologists Murray Bowen and David Schnarch to explain how individuals can maintain their sense of self while fostering deep, meaningful connections with others. Tony offers actionable insights on embracing individuality, managing emotional reactivity, and the importance of self-soothing for achieving a balanced and fulfilling relationship dynamic.
00:00 Welcome to the Virtual Couch: Introductions and Announcements
01:20 Unpacking Emotional Baggage: Lisa and Mike's Story
04:27 The Dynamics of Disagreements: Analyzing Conflict Patterns
07:40 Embracing Discomfort for Growth: A Therapeutic Perspective
12:59 Understanding Differentiation: A Deep Dive into Emotional Maturity
18:52 From Bowen to Schnarch: Exploring Theories of Differentiation
22:20 Applying Differentiation: Real-Life Implications and Strategies
24:20 Breaking Familial Patterns and Emotional Systems
25:00 The Impact of Parental Emotions on Children
27:05 Exploring Schnarch's Concepts on Differentiation
28:19 Applying Differentiation in Relationships
32:24 The Importance of Emotional Maturity and Self-Work
35:24 Navigating Relationship Dynamics and Individual Growth
39:47 Embracing Differentiation for a Fulfilling Relationship
43:22 Practical Takeaways for Personal and Relationship Growth
To learn more about Tony's upcoming re-release of the Magnetic Marriage course, his Pathback Recovery course, and more, sign up for his newsletter through the link at https://linktr.ee/virtualcouch
Available NOW: Tony's "Magnetic Marriage Mini-Course" is only $25. https://magneticmarriage.mykajabi.com/magnetic-marriage-mini-course
Please follow Tony’s newest Instagram account for the Waking Up to Narcissism podcast https://www.instagram.com/wutnpod/ as well as Tony’s account https://www.instagram.com/tonyoverbay_lmft/
Subscribe to Tony's latest podcast, "Waking Up to Narcissism Q&A - Premium Podcast," on the Apple Podcast App. https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/waking-up-to-narcissism-q-a/id1667287384
Go to http://tonyoverbay.com/workshop to sign up for Tony's "Magnetize Your Marriage" virtual workshop. The cost is only $19, and you'll learn the top 3 things you can do NOW to create a Magnetic Marriage.
You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program, The Path Back, by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit
Tony mentioned a product that he used to take out all of the "uh's" and "um's" that, in his words, "must be created by wizards and magic!" because it's that good! To learn more about Descript, click here https://descript.com?lmref=bSWcEQ
Tony shares his recent experiences with change, moving, and personal growth. Tony discusses the unexpected lessons learned from moving out of his home after 25 years, selling items on Facebook Marketplace, dealing with moving trucks, and the psychology of facing unknown challenges. He reflects on how accepting and navigating through the discomfort of change has provided opportunities for growth and understanding. Tony emphasizes the importance of mindfulness, making decisions amidst uncertainty, and the value of experiencing life's twists and turns. This episode encourages listeners to embrace change as a pathway to self-discovery and personal development. Tony references the article "Your Brain Thinks Change is a Good as Rest" by E. Paul Zehr, Ph.D. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/black-belt-brain/202210/your-brain-thinks-change-is-as-good-as-rest
00:00 Welcome to the Virtual Couch: A Dive into Change and Personal Growth
00:39 The Therapist's Couch: More Than Just Furniture
01:59 Embracing Change: Personal Stories and Professional Insights
02:20 The Move to Arizona: A Catalyst for Reflection and Growth
06:41 Understanding Fatigue: Physical and Mental Aspects
22:47 The Power of Discomfort in Personal Growth
25:03 Procrastination and the Promise of Change
25:24 Exploring Fatigue: Internal vs. External Causes
27:16 The Personal Journey of Embracing Change
28:06 The Power of Meditation and Mindfulness
30:19 Moving Adventures: Decluttering and Preparing
34:26 Navigating the Real Estate and Moving Process
39:14 Learning from the Unexpected: Sales and Acceptance
46:53 Reflections on Growth, Decisions, and Mental Health
To learn more about Tony's upcoming re-release of the Magnetic Marriage course, his Pathback Recovery course, and more, sign up for his newsletter through the link at https://linktr.ee/virtualcouch
Available NOW: Tony's "Magnetic Marriage Mini-Course" is only $25. https://magneticmarriage.mykajabi.com/magnetic-marriage-mini-course
Please follow Tony’s newest Instagram account for the Waking Up to Narcissism podcast https://www.instagram.com/wutnpod/ as well as Tony’s account https://www.instagram.com/tonyoverbay_lmft/
Subscribe to Tony's latest podcast, "Waking Up to Narcissism Q&A - Premium Podcast," on the Apple Podcast App. https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/waking-up-to-narcissism-q-a/id1667287384
Go to http://tonyoverbay.com/workshop to sign up for Tony's "Magnetize Your Marriage" virtual workshop. The cost is only $19, and you'll learn the top 3 things you can do NOW to create a Magnetic Marriage.
You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program, The Path Back, by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit
Tony mentioned a product that he used to take out all of the "uh's" and "um's" that, in his words, "must be created by wizards and magic!" because it's that good! To learn more about Descript, click here https://descript.com?lmref=bSWcEQ
In the 7th installment of the "Death by a Thousand Cuts" series, Tony Overbay, LMFT, presents a compelling crossover episode between The Virtual Couch and Waking Up to Narcissism. This episode delves into the complex journey of healing and empowerment for individuals who have survived relationships characterized by emotional immaturity, narcissism, and controlling behavior. Through a blend of personal narratives and expert analysis, Tony shares the nuanced and significant harm inflicted by the 'Death by a Thousand Cuts' phenomenon—a metaphor highlighting the cumulative effect of repeated emotional injuries from narcissistic and emotionally immature partners.
Addressing key issues such as emotional abuse, coercive control, financial abuse, sexual abuse within the relationship, manipulation, boundaries vs. ultimatums, and the critical need for self-validation, Tony provides listeners with practical coping strategies. These strategies underscore the importance of self-reflection, seeking professional guidance, and engaging with supportive communities as vital steps in shedding the lingering effects of controlling relationships.
This episode aims to reassure listeners that they are not isolated in their experiences of unhealthy relationships. It also serves as a resource for those seeking to support family members entangled in abusive dynamics, offering insight into effective ways to provide meaningful support beyond mere words of encouragement. Tony seeks to empower listeners to recognize their inherent worth and foster healthy, mature connections by advocating for relationships grounded in respect and empathy.
00:00 Welcome to the Crossover Episode: Unpacking Narcissism and Emotional Immaturity
00:37 Why Today's Episode Matters: Exploring 'Death by a Thousand Cuts'
01:58 Moving Week and Virtual Client Opportunities
03:58 Understanding Emotional Cuts and Their Impact
05:58 The Challenge of Seeking Validation and Understanding
09:24 Creating Supportive Spaces for Emotional Growth
12:36 Diving into Real-Life Stories of Emotional Immaturity
23:49 The Frustrating Dynamics of Emotional Immaturity in Relationships
33:57 Navigating the Complexities of Emotional Immaturity and Narcissism
34:54 The Emotional Toll of Unvalidated Feelings
36:07 Navigating Emotional Safety in Relationships
36:19 The Subtle Manipulations of Emotional Abuse
37:00 Parenting Amidst Emotional Manipulation
38:29 Understanding the Impact of Emotional Abuse Through Stories
46:33 The Role of Pornography in Emotionally Immature Relationships
01:00:43 Financial Control and Emotional Abuse
01:07:45 Finding Healing and Empowerment
Tony navigates the intricate balance that defines successful partnerships: the harmony between deep emotional connections with your partner and the pursuit of individual growth. Drawing from the principles of Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) and the Crucible Approach, with an emphasis on self-differentiation, he shares his own growth experience as a couples therapist over the past 15 years as he has learned how these two aspects—often seen as opposing forces—can complement and enhance each other within a relationship and provide therapists with a more robust toolkit to use when working with couples with a variety of attachment styles, and backgrounds.
Tony explains that facilitating relationship growth is akin to performing a delicate balancing act, where maintaining a close bond with your partner and fostering personal development are both crucial. EFT offers insights into creating a nurturing and supportive environment, encouraging couples to open up and strengthen their emotional ties. On the other hand, the Crucible Approach emphasizes the importance of individuality and self-growth, urging partners to preserve their unique identities even as they grow closer together. Tony shares practical advice and strategies for couples at any stage of their relationship, aiming to make the concepts of emotional connection and personal growth accessible and actionable. He shares how to cultivate a relationship that embraces unity and individual strength, leading to a more dynamic, supportive, and fulfilling partnership.
00:00 Welcome and Introduction: The Journey of a Therapist
00:39 Diving Into Emotional Architects: A New Approach to Men's Emotional Growth
01:53 Exploring Healthy vs. Unhealthy Egos in Relationships
05:56 The Evolution of Couples Therapy: From No Secrets Policy to Emotional Honesty
12:19 Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) vs. The Crucible Approach: A Therapist's Perspective
22:09 Blending EFT and The Crucible Approach: A New Paradigm in Couples Therapy
30:57 Attachment Theory and EFT: Understanding Relationship Dynamics
33:05 Exploring Emotional Focused Therapy (EFT) for Couples
40:19 Deep Dive into Crucible Approach: A New Perspective on Therapy
40:51 Differentiation and Personal Growth: A Crucial Element in Relationships
44:38 The Crucible Method: Transforming Sexual Intimacy and Personal Growth
47:08 Facing Conflict Head-On: The Crucible Approach to Relationship Challenges
49:54 Applying Differentiation to EFT Concepts: A Comparative Analysis
01:08:48 Conclusion: Embracing Growth and Self-Discovery in Relationships
To learn more about Tony's upcoming re-release of the Magnetic Marriage course, his Pathback Recovery course, and more, sign up for his newsletter through the link at https://linktr.ee/virtualcouch
Available NOW: Tony's "Magnetic Marriage Mini-Course" is only $25. https://magneticmarriage.mykajabi.com/magnetic-marriage-mini-course
Please follow Tony’s newest Instagram account for the Waking Up to Narcissism podcast https://www.instagram.com/wutnpod/ as well as Tony’s account https://www.instagram.com/tonyoverbay_lmft/
Subscribe to Tony's latest podcast, "Waking Up to Narcissism Q&A - Premium Podcast," on the Apple Podcast App. https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/waking-up-to-narcissism-q-a/id1667287384
Go to http://tonyoverbay.com/workshop to sign up for Tony's "Magnetize Your Marriage" virtual workshop. The cost is only $19, and you'll learn the top 3 things you can do NOW to create a Magnetic Marriage.
You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program, The Path Back, by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit
Tony mentioned a product that he used to take out all of the "uh's" and "um's" that, in his words, "must be created by wizards and magic!" because it's that good! To learn more about Descript, click here https://descript.com?lmref=bSWcEQ
Tony Overbay, LMFT, welcomes Kurt Francom, the executive director and podcast host of Leading Saints (Leading Saints). Kurt's first book, "Is God Disappointed in Me: Removing Shame From the Gospel of Grace," is available on Amazon (Amazon Link). In a candid admission, Tony shares his emotionally immature reaction upon discovering Kurt's book through a third party, revealing the concocted narratives in his head about their relationship, with Kurt unknowingly cast as the villain. The revelation of Tony's oversight in missing a crucial recording sent by Kurt months earlier brings to light the miscommunication that unwittingly altered their friendship dynamic. Peace is restored Through their conversation, and their bond of best friendship is reaffirmed. The discussion then shifts to Kurt's book, delving into the intricate concepts of ego and identity. They explore the notion of a healthy ego, the pervasive quest for validation, and how living for an identity differs fundamentally from living from an identity that has been validated by divine grace.
Kurt highlights the identity paradox, suggesting that receiving grace allows us to extend it more freely. He references Carl Rogers, stating, "The curious paradox is that when I accept myself just as I am, then I can begin to change." This acceptance is seen not as a form of apathy but as a mindful acknowledgment that paves the way for genuine personal transformation. Kurt deepens the conversation by asserting that recognizing our inherent validation from God enables us to cultivate a meaningful relationship with Him. This evolution occurs not because of our deeds but due to our intrinsic value and identity.
00:00 Introduction and Casual Banter
00:33 Discussing Kurt Francom's New Book
01:34 Exploring the Concept of Acceptance
02:20 Reflecting on Personal Experiences and Challenges
03:26 The Importance of Validation and Acceptance
04:59 Unpacking the Imposter Syndrome
06:25 The Role of Repentance in Personal Growth
08:13 Understanding the Impact of Misunderstanding God
10:00 The Power of Acceptance in Personal Transformation
12:06 The Journey of Repentance and Turning to God
13:42 Conclusion: The Power of Acceptance and Repentance
22:10 Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms and Their Impact
22:42 The Role of Validation in Our Lives
23:37 The Struggle for Acceptance and Validation
24:42 The Power of God's Love and Validation
25:31 The Journey of Self-Discovery and Differentiation
26:48 The Importance of Embracing Change and Growth
28:03 The Role of Ego in Our Personal Development
28:38 The Power of Grace and Forgiveness
29:40 The Struggle with Validation and Recognition
30:07 The Journey of Writing a Book
31:21 The Power of Curiosity and Openness in Learning
32:20 The Role of Identity in Our Spiritual Journey
34:16 The Importance of Acceptance and Self-Respect
35:35 The Power of Differentiation and Self-Awareness
37:46 The Struggle with Defensive Narcissism
39:42 The Power of Acceptance and Self-Validation
41:44 The Journey of Self-Reflection and Growth
43:14 The Power of Humility and Self-Acceptance
44:06 The Journey of Writing and Publishing a Book
45:17 The Power of Authenticity and Self-Expression
45:55 The Importance of Embracing Change and Uncertainty
46:46 The Power of Self-Acceptance and Self-Love
To learn more about Tony's upcoming re-release of the Magnetic Marriage course, his Pathback Recovery course, and more, sign up for his newsletter through the link at https://linktr.ee/virtualcouch
Available NOW: Tony's "Magnetic Marriage Mini-Course" is only $25. https://magneticmarriage.mykajabi.com/magnetic-marriage-mini-course
Please follow Tony’s newest Instagram account for the Waking Up to Narcissism podcast https://www.instagram.com/wutnpod/ as well as Tony’s account https://www.instagram.com/tonyoverbay_lmft/
Subscribe to Tony's latest podcast, "Waking Up to Narcissism Q&A - Premium Podcast," on the Apple Podcast App. https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/waking-up-to-narcissism-q-a/id1667287384
Go to http://tonyoverbay.com/workshop to sign up for Tony's "Magnetize Your Marriage" virtual workshop. The cost is only $19, and you'll learn the top 3 things you can do NOW to create a Magnetic Marriage.
You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program, The Path Back, by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit
Tony mentioned a product that he used to take out all of the "uh's" and "um's" that, in his words, "must be created by wizards and magic!" because it's that good! To learn more about Descript, click here https://descript.com?lmref=bSWcEQ
Marla Christensen, AMFT, APCC, joins Tony on the Virtual Couch to discuss dealing with grief and loss. Marla is a new associate working with Tony. Marla received her master's degree in clinical psychology from Pepperdine University. She shares her passion for her work in mental health counseling and touches on her own personal experience about shifting from being a stay-at-home mom to a counselor following a divorce. Marla discusses her approach to dealing with grief and loss in clients, which she shares as an inescapable human experience. She elaborates on the stages of grief as proposed by Elizabeth Kubler Ross, shedding light on David Kessler’s addition of the sixth stage, 'reconstruction/rebuilding'. Emphasizing the subjectivity of the grieving process, Marla recommends being compassionate, patient, and welcoming toward one's emotions throughout. She also talks about the role of religion and spirituality in helping individuals rebound quickly from grief due to the sense of community they provide.
Marla and her husband, Nate Christensen, APCC, host the podcast “Working Change,” which you can find wherever you listen to podcasts or visit https://blubrry.com/workingchange. Marla has a few openings and can be reached directly at marlachristensencounseling@gmail.com, or you can reach out to Tony at contact@tonyoverbay.com
00:00 Introduction and Welcoming Marla
00:22 Getting to Know Marla: Her Journey into Therapy
01:20 Marla's Early Years and Path to Therapy
02:20 Marla's Podcast and Mental Health Advocacy
03:08 Marla's Experience with Grief and Loss
04:11 The Impact of Life Experience on Therapy
05:58 Understanding Grief and Loss
08:50 The Stages of Grief
27:42 The Role of Religion and Spirituality in Grief
30:08 Final Thoughts and Advice on Navigating Grief
To learn more about Tony's upcoming re-release of the Magnetic Marriage course, his Pathback Recovery course, and more, sign up for his newsletter through the link at https://linktr.ee/virtualcouch
Available NOW: Tony's "Magnetic Marriage Mini-Course" is only $25. https://magneticmarriage.mykajabi.com/magnetic-marriage-mini-course
Please follow Tony’s newest Instagram account for the Waking Up to Narcissism podcast https://www.instagram.com/wutnpod/ as well as Tony’s account https://www.instagram.com/tonyoverbay_lmft/
Subscribe to Tony's latest podcast, "Waking Up to Narcissism Q&A - Premium Podcast," on the Apple Podcast App. https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/waking-up-to-narcissism-q-a/id1667287384
Go to http://tonyoverbay.com/workshop to sign up for Tony's "Magnetize Your Marriage" virtual workshop. The cost is only $19, and you'll learn the top 3 things you can do NOW to create a Magnetic Marriage.
You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program, The Path Back, by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit
Tony mentioned a product that he used to take out all of the "uh's" and "um's" that, in his words, "must be created by wizards and magic!" because it's that good! To learn more about Descript, click here https://descript.com?lmref=bSWcEQ
Tony Overbay, LMFT, offers an in-depth exploration of Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) and The Nurtured Heart Approach (NHA) to provide a fresh perspective on mindful parenting. The discussion centers around the transformative power of NHA's "Stand 1," which advocates for focusing energy on celebrating children's successes rather than engaging in negative behavior. Additionally, Tony explains the ACT principle of "acceptance," emphasizing the importance of embracing our present experiences without judgment to cultivate a compassionate and supportive family environment.
The episode also delves into the Buddhist "First and Second Darts" metaphor, teaching parents how to mitigate distress by managing their reactions to challenging parenting situations. Through practical examples and strategies, Tony demonstrates how these principles can be applied to everyday challenges, such as defiance and fostering positive behaviors. By focusing on these core concepts, the episode aims to empower parents with actionable advice to strengthen their connections with their children, highlighting the critical role of presence and engagement in the parenting journey.
00:00 Introduction: A Letter from a Fan
00:37 The Journey of Parenting: Realizations and Challenges
02:41 The Power of Acceptance in Parenting
03:06 Welcome to the Virtual Couch: Episode 415
03:27 The Overwhelm of Parenting: A Therapist's Perspective
05:19 The Nurtured Heart Approach: A Parenting Model
05:40 The Impact of Social Media on Parenting
12:03 Acceptance and Commitment Therapy in Parenting
15:52 Practical Scenarios: Applying the Nurtured Heart Approach and ACT
22:11 Embracing the Chaos: Nurtured Heart Approach and Acceptance and Commitment Therapy
22:49 Understanding the Concept of First and Second Dart Reactions
23:25 Applying the First and Second Dart Concept in Parenting
27:12 The Power of Mindfulness and Acceptance in Parenting
30:59 The Brain's Desire for Certainty and Avoidance of Discomfort
37:01 Embracing Uncertainty and Accepting Experiences
38:06 The Power of Living in the Present Moment
38:48 Final Thoughts and Takeaways
Available NOW: Tony's "Magnetic Marriage Mini-Course" is only $25. https://magneticmarriage.mykajabi.com/magnetic-marriage-mini-course
To learn more about Tony's upcoming re-release of the Magnetic Marriage course, his Pathback Recovery course, and more, sign up for his newsletter through the link at https://linktr.ee/virtualcouch
Please follow Tony’s newest Instagram account for the Waking Up to Narcissism podcast https://www.instagram.com/wutnpod/ as well as Tony’s account https://www.instagram.com/tonyoverbay_lmft/
Subscribe to Tony's latest podcast, "Waking Up to Narcissism Q&A - Premium Podcast," on the Apple Podcast App. https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/waking-up-to-narcissism-q-a/id1667287384
Go to http://tonyoverbay.com/workshop to sign up for Tony's "Magnetize Your Marriage" virtual workshop. The cost is only $19, and you'll learn the top 3 things you can do NOW to create a Magnetic Marriage.
You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program, The Path Back, by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com
Tony mentioned a product that he used to take out all of the "uh's" and "um's" that, in his words, "must be created by wizards and magic!" because it's that good! To learn more about Descript, click here https://descript.com?lmref=bSWcEQ
This description and the show notes are brought to you directly from AI, Sydney, and I truly wouldn't sound so silly! This dialogue-based presentation dives deep into the complexities of mental health and interpersonal relationships. With therapy experiences, personal observations, and explored topics ranging from narcissism, ADHD, and addiction to marriage and parenting, Tony and his co-host Sydney guide the audience through poignant discussions. Key concerns include asserting oneself in relationships, dealing with alcoholics, recognizing psychopathic traits, and handling personal issues such as adult ADHD and depression. The conversation also delves into the potent combination of medicine and therapy while exploring the nuances of 'emotional baseline' and its elevation through the usage of medication.
00:04 Introduction and Welcome
00:44 Live Relationship Q&A: Narcissism, Marriage, Parenting, ADHD, Addiction
01:17 The Awkward Start of the Live Session
01:28 Casual Conversation: Therapy, Parenting, and Narcissism
02:02 Deep Dive into Narcissism and Relationships
02:41 Exploring the Human Magnet Syndrome
03:10 The Complexity of Narcissistic Relationships
03:25 Understanding Borderline Personality Disorder
04:26 Transition to Reading Reddit Stories
04:51 Interactive Q&A with Live Audience
05:11 Humorous Interactions and Casual Banter
05:20 Discussion on ADHD and Rejection Sensitivity
06:35 Reading and Discussing Reddit Stories
07:17 Deeper Conversation on Narcissism and Relationships
08:45 Understanding Differentiation in Relationships
11:55 Continuation of Reddit Story Discussion
12:33 Exploring ADHD and Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria
15:36 Interactive Q&A with Live Audience: Part 2
17:18 Continuation of Reddit Story Discussion: Part 2
19:12 Understanding the Dynamics of Narcissistic Relationships
20:51 Interactive Q&A with Live Audience: Part 3
22:58 Continuation of Reddit Story Discussion: Part 3
25:22 Interactive Q&A with Live Audience: Part 4
27:14 Continuation of Reddit Story Discussion: Part 4
28:52 Interactive Q&A with Live Audience: Part 5
30:53 Continuation of Reddit Story Discussion: Part 5
31:37 Interactive Q&A with Live Audience: Part 6
33:20 Continuation of Reddit Story Discussion: Part 6
35:17 Interactive Q&A with Live Audience: Part 7
37:10 Continuation of Reddit Story Discussion: Part 7
37:53 Interactive Q&A with Live Audience: Part 8
40:42 Continuation of Reddit Story Discussion: Part 8
42:52 Interactive Q&A with Live Audience: Part 9
36:55 Discussing Alcoholism and Addiction
37:24 Understanding Addictive Behaviors
38:20 The Role of Therapy in Addiction
42:18 Exploring the Concept of Micro Cheating
43:16 The Impact of Micro Cheating on Relationships
43:29 The Role of Authenticity in Relationships
45:08 Understanding Narcissism and Emotional Immaturity
47:01 The Connection Between Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms and Emotional Baseline
48:59 The Importance of Emotional Connection in Relationships
01:07:37 The Role of Medication in Mental Health
01:10:08 Closing Thoughts and Reflections
Available NOW: Tony's "Magnetic Marriage Mini-Course" is only $20. https://magneticmarriage.mykajabi.com/magnetic-marriage-mini-course
To learn more about Tony's upcoming re-release of the Magnetic Marriage course, his Pathback Recovery course, and more, sign up for his newsletter through the link at https://linktr.ee/virtualcouch
Please follow Tony’s newest Instagram account for the Waking Up to Narcissism podcast https://www.instagram.com/wutnpod/ as well as Tony’s account https://www.instagram.com/tonyoverbay_lmft/
Subscribe to Tony's latest podcast, "Waking Up to Narcissism Q&A - Premium Podcast," on the Apple Podcast App. https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/waking-up-to-narcissism-q-a/id1667287384
Go to http://tonyoverbay.com/workshop to sign up for Tony's "Magnetize Your Marriage" virtual workshop. The cost is only $19, and you'll learn the top 3 things you can do NOW to create a Magnetic Marriage.
You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program, The Path Back, by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit
Tony mentioned a product that he used to take out all of the "uh's" and "um's" that, in his words, "must be created by wizards and magic!" because it's that good! To learn more about Descript, click here https://descript.com?lmref=bSWcEQ
Tony Overbay, LMFT, dives into an article by Dr. Richard Friedman titled 'Plenty of People Could Quit Therapy Right Now.' Tony reads the article and comments in real-time, talking about the many different reasons people come to therapy, the importance of the therapist/client relationship, and what to do if you don’t feel a connection with your therapist. He discusses why talk therapy works and provides additional personal insights, bringing in his background in Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT). He shares some of the challenges he has with the more popular CBT or cognitive behavioral therapy modality. The discussion revolves around concepts like the potentially harmful effects of prolonged therapy when to consider ending therapy, and the possibility of 'therapy vacations'. Lastly, Tony underlines the importance of having a clear treatment plan, addressing the client’s goals, and reinforcing the idea that progress is made when clients implement what they’ve learned in their day-to-day lives.
00:00 Introduction: The Clickbait Phenomenon
01:13 Welcome to the Virtual Couch: Episode 413
01:36 The Power of Numerology: Understanding 413
02:40 The Magnetic Marriage: A Valentine's Special
03:55 The Art of Clickbait: A Deep Dive
04:55 The Case for Quitting Therapy: A Discussion
08:14 The Role of a Therapist: A Personal Perspective
09:43 Understanding Different Types of Therapists
12:01 The Case for Quitting Therapy: An Article Review
16:07 The Role of Acceptance and Commitment Therapy
19:50 The End Goal of Therapy: Thriving on Your Own
20:48 Understanding Emotions and Interactions
21:27 The Role of Therapy in Emotional Processing
21:36 Cognitive Behavioral Therapy: An Overview
22:00 The Power of Acceptance and Commitment Therapy
23:05 Dialectical Behavioral Therapy and Its Impact
25:39 The Importance of Trust in Therapy
26:28 The Role of Therapy in Dealing with Trauma
28:01 The Long-Term Benefits of Therapy
28:09 The Challenges of Accessing Therapy
28:20 The Potential Risks of Over-Reliance on Therapy
29:51 The Role of Therapy in Personal Growth
31:16 The Importance of Finding the Right Therapist
38:23 The Role of Medication in Therapy
38:52 The Importance of Self-Reflection in Therapy
41:37 The Benefits of Taking a Break from Therapy
42:35 Final Thoughts on the Role and Impact of Therapy
Available NOW: Tony's "Magnetic Marriage Mini-Course" is only $20. https://magneticmarriage.mykajabi.com/magnetic-marriage-mini-course
To learn more about Tony's upcoming re-release of the Magnetic Marriage course, his Pathback Recovery course, and more, sign up for his newsletter through the link at https://linktr.ee/virtualcouch
Please follow Tony’s newest Instagram account for the Waking Up to Narcissism podcast https://www.instagram.com/wutnpod/ as well as Tony’s account https://www.instagram.com/tonyoverbay_lmft/
Subscribe to Tony's latest podcast, "Waking Up to Narcissism Q&A - Premium Podcast," on the Apple Podcast App. https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/waking-up-to-narcissism-q-a/id1667287384
Go to http://tonyoverbay.com/workshop to sign up for Tony's "Magnetize Your Marriage" virtual workshop. The cost is only $19, and you'll learn the top 3 things you can do NOW to create a Magnetic Marriage.
You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program, The Path Back, by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit
Tony mentioned a product that he used to take out all of the "uh's" and "um's" that, in his words, "must be created by wizards and magic!" because it's that good! To learn more about Descript, click here https://descript.com?lmref=bSWcEQ
Tony Overbay, LMFT, tackles the timeless question, "Why do we care so much about what others think?" Offering insights on halting the cycle of worrying over others' opinions, Tony emphasizes the importance of staying true to oneself (and ponders, "Who am I, really?"). He explores finding that sweet spot between valuing the world's input and heeding our inner voice—the one who truly knows us best. Tony illustrates that while the opinions of others can offer some worth, there's a limit to their significance. Ultimately, we have the fantastic opportunity to be captains of our ships, navigating through rough seas and basking in sunny skies alike.
Available NOW Tony's "Magnetic Marriage Mini-Course" only $20. https://magneticmarriage.mykajabi.com/magnetic-marriage-mini-course
To learn more about Tony's upcoming re-release of the Magnetic Marriage course, his Pathback Recovery course, and more, sign up for his newsletter through the link at https://linktr.ee/virtualcouch
Please follow Tony’s newest Instagram account for the Waking Up to Narcissism podcast https://www.instagram.com/wutnpod/ as well as Tony’s account https://www.instagram.com/tonyoverbay_lmft/
Subscribe to Tony's latest podcast, "Waking Up to Narcissism Q&A - Premium Podcast," on the Apple Podcast App. https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/waking-up-to-narcissism-q-a/id1667287384
Go to http://tonyoverbay.com/workshop to sign up for Tony's "Magnetize Your Marriage" virtual workshop. The cost is only $19, and you'll learn the top 3 things you can do NOW to create a Magnetic Marriage.
You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program, The Path Back, by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit
Tony mentioned a product that he used to take out all of the "uh's" and "um's" that, in his words, "must be created by wizards and magic!" because it's that good! To learn more about Descript, click here https://descript.com?lmref=bSWcEQ
00:00 Introduction: The Big Question
00:46 Welcome to the Virtual Couch
00:57 Therapeutic Tools: Four Pillars of a Connected Conversation
01:48 Valentine's Day Special: Mini Course and Game
02:53 Why Do We Care So Much About What Others Think?
11:20 The Power of Projection and Shadow Self
17:06 Understanding and Accepting Your Shadow Self
20:18 Setting Healthy Boundaries
21:40 You Are Not the Center of the Universe
22:16 Understanding Our Place in the Universe
23:04 Exploring the Concept of Solipsism
24:27 The Reality of Other People's Existence
25:45 The Impact of Caring Too Much About Others' Opinions
26:59 The Importance of Authenticity and Individuality
28:48 The Consequences of Worrying About Others' Opinions
30:11 Trusting Your Instincts and Navigating Life
32:56 Balancing External Advice with Internal Compass
35:55 Understanding the Persona and Authenticity
42:38 Embracing Your Whole Self and Authentic Connections
43:34 Conclusion: The Value of Self-Understanding and Authenticity
(Description provided by AI, i.e., we’re really not this stuffy) On this TikTok live session, a father-daughter duo - Tony, a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, and his daughter, Sydney- discuss complicated familial relationships, drawing from a real-life scenario. They elaborate on the perspective of a 15-year-old girl attempting to navigate difficult relationships with her father and his new girlfriend after the death of her mother. The pair extract valuable lessons and give insightful advice about seeking validation, getting emotional support, and making the necessary decisions for one's emotional well-being. They also discuss inherent human behaviors and the importance of emotional maturity and curiosity in handling fraught relationships. The conversation also includes light-hearted banter and comical exchanges that reveal their own relationship dynamics.
Watch the latest Relationship QA's with Sydney and Tony on The Virtual Couch YouTube channel: http://www.youtube.com/@TheVirtualCouchPodcast
Tony references his daughter Mackie Overbay's Podcast, "The Mind, The Mirror and Me," Please follow/subscribe to the Mind, the Mirror, and Me podcast wherever you listen to podcasts. You can find it on Spotify at https://open.spotify.com/episode/7d4zmbpTEuKqabIjgXFq9N?si=6133f8620d4a41d1 or Apple Podcasts at https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-mind-the-mirror-me/id1701226687?i=1000639575815
00:02 Introduction and Setting the Stage
00:16 Diving into Relationship Advice
01:02 Discussing the Role of a Therapist
01:10 Analyzing a Real-Life Relationship Scenario
01:51 Understanding Emotional Discomfort and Communication
04:27 Exploring the Concept of Emotional Immaturity
06:01 Exploring the Concept of Control in Relationships
06:35 Unpacking the Impact of Assumptions in Relationships
07:22 Discussing the Importance of Curiosity and Non-Judgment
09:44 Analyzing a Case of Parent-Child Conflict
15:08 Discussing the Importance of Trust and Authenticity
18:55 Understanding the Role of Friends in Relationship Issues
21:10 Dad's New Girlfriend Drama
21:38 Learning New Slangs
21:57 Eavesdropping on Dad's Call
22:16 Feeling Betrayed and Disrespected
22:42 The Struggle of Communication
23:15 Light-Hearted Banter
23:33 Revisiting the Painful Conversation
24:02 Contemplating Leaving Home
24:20 The Role of Parents in Maintaining Relationships
26:26 The Struggle of Being Misunderstood
27:48 Moving to Grandparents' House
28:39 Dealing with Dad's Silence
30:12 Understanding Anxiety and Stress
32:11 The Power of Self-Validation
42:51 Wrapping Up and Saying Goodbye
Tony shares the story of Hudson and Bailey, a couple working towards improving their marriage, particularly around communication patterns and how they deal with conflict. The episode focuses on the couple's struggle with common relationship issues that have resulted in miscommunication and misunderstandings. Tony outlines key behavioral models and strategies such as his Four Pillars of a Connected Conversation, his “pre-pillar” based on the concepts of Marshall Rosenberg’s “Non-violent communication” techniques, he talks about boundaries vs. ultimatums, differentiation (ultimately it’s a “me thing,”) and goes over his way to “hold the assertive frame.” Tony also addresses handling post-argument anxiety and practicing emotional maturity. The episode aims to provide viewers with practical solutions to commonplace marital challenges and ways to navigate through them. This episode is sponsored by Tony’s updated “Magnetic Marriage” course. Sign up for his newsletter at http://tonyoverbay.com for more information.
00:00 Introduction and Background of Hudson and Bailey
00:26 The Importance of Effective Communication in Relationships
00:45 Understanding the Dynamics of Hudson and Bailey's Relationship
01:56 A Pivotal Argument: Unpacking the Communication Breakdown
05:54 The Aftermath: Dealing with Post-Argument Anxiety
08:03 The Four Pillars of a Connected Conversation
08:45 Addressing Hudson and Bailey's Specific Concerns
12:03 Strategies for Resolving Arguments and Managing Anxiety
23:06 The Role of Mindfulness in Navigating Relationship Challenges
24:51 The Power of Mindfulness and Meditation
25:34 Understanding the Concept of Differentiation
26:12 The Role of Emotions in Communication
27:52 The Importance of Objective Observations in Communication
33:40 The Concept of Holding the Assertive Frame
34:45 Understanding and Managing Communication Breakdowns
38:01 The Role of Emotional Maturity in Relationships
43:23 The Importance of Self-Reflection and Growth
48:18 Conclusion and Final Thoughts
To learn more about Tony's upcoming re-release of the Magnetic Marriage course, his Pathback Recovery course, and more, sign up for his newsletter through the link at https://linktr.ee/virtualcouch
Please follow Tony’s newest Instagram account for the Waking Up to Narcissism podcast https://www.instagram.com/wutnpod/ as well as Tony’s account https://www.instagram.com/tonyoverbay_lmft/
Subscribe to Tony's latest podcast, "Waking Up to Narcissism Q&A - Premium Podcast," on the Apple Podcast App. https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/waking-up-to-narcissism-q-a/id1667287384
Go to http://tonyoverbay.com/workshop to sign up for Tony's "Magnetize Your Marriage" virtual workshop. The cost is only $19, and you'll learn the top 3 things you can do NOW to create a Magnetic Marriage.
You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program, The Path Back, by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit
Tony mentioned a product that he used to take out all of the "uh's" and "um's" that, in his words, "must be created by wizards and magic!" because it's that good! To learn more about Descript, click here https://descript.com?lmref=bSWcEQ
Tony takes inspiration from Carolyn Steber's article, "Is Everyone Out Here Lying To Their Therapist," https://www.bustle.com/wellness/lying-to-therapist using it as a muse (and explaining what a muse is) to explore the benefits and challenges of therapy from both the client's and therapist's viewpoints. He delves into primary and secondary emotions, highlighting how humor and anger often serve as secondary emotions. Tony also unpacks the origin of the "what's wrong with me" mindset, explaining how children internalize emotions, leading to a reliance on external validation in adulthood. The episode concludes with insightful discussions on neuroplasticity, implicit memory, and the significant benefits of being honest with your therapist.
00:00 Introduction and Welcome
00:41 Engaging with the Audience: Social Media and Live Q&A
01:58 The Power of Muse and Self-Reflection
03:45 Exploring the Article: Is Everyone Lying to Their Therapist?
04:07 Understanding the Role of a Therapist
06:12 The Science Behind Talk Therapy
14:18 The Role of Humor in Therapy
17:47 Understanding Primary and Secondary Emotions
24:32 Understanding Secondary Emotions
24:52 Exploring Anger and Humor as Secondary Emotions
25:31 The Role of Childhood Experiences in Shaping Emotions
26:38 The Impact of Humor as a Coping Mechanism
28:27 The Power of Neuroplasticity and Implicit Memory
29:23 The Influence of Environment on Emotional Tendencies
30:04 The Role of Humor in Therapy Sessions
30:31 The Importance of Honesty in Therapy
32:02 Understanding the Role of Validation in Therapy
37:54 The Power of Neuroplasticity in Changing Emotional Responses
39:57 The Role of Therapists and Coaches in Emotional Growth
40:08 Understanding the Importance of Comfort and Trust in Therapy
44:04 The Journey of Self-Discovery and Growth
To learn more about Tony's upcoming re-release of the Magnetic Marriage course, his Pathback Recovery course, and more, sign up for his newsletter through the link at https://linktr.ee/virtualcouch
Please follow Tony’s newest Instagram account for the Waking Up to Narcissism podcast https://www.instagram.com/wutnpod/ as well as Tony’s account https://www.instagram.com/tonyoverbay_lmft/
Subscribe to Tony's latest podcast, "Waking Up to Narcissism Q&A - Premium Podcast," on the Apple Podcast App. https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/waking-up-to-narcissism-q-a/id1667287384
Go to http://tonyoverbay.com/workshop to sign up for Tony's "Magnetize Your Marriage" virtual workshop. The cost is only $19, and you'll learn the top 3 things you can do NOW to create a Magnetic Marriage.
You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program, The Path Back, by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit
Tony mentioned a product that he used to take out all of the "uh's" and "um's" that, in his words, "must be created by wizards and magic!" because it's that good! To learn more about Descript, click here https://descript.com?lmref=bSWcEQ
Did you know there are several different types of rest beyond just sleeping? Coming from a 'we don’t know what we don’t know' standpoint, today’s episode has the potential to be both a game-changer and life-changing as we unveil how identifying and fulfilling these diverse types of rest can revolutionize your health, happiness, and productivity. Tony Overbay, LMFT, interviews Dr. Saundra Dalton-Smith about her book 'Sacred Rest: Recover Your Life, Renew Your Energy, Restore Your Sanity' (https://amzn.to/3TFp6GZ). They discuss the critical distinction between sleep and rest, amplified through Dr. Saundra’s 'Seven Types of Rest' framework. Dr. Saundra shares the seven types of rest she has found lacking in the lives of those she encounters in her clinical practice and research - physical, mental, spiritual, emotional, sensory, social, and creative - and explains why a deficiency in any one of these types of rest can have unfavorable effects on your health, happiness, relationships, creativity, and productivity. This episode highlights the importance of self-care and the need to become a personal health advocate. Dr. Saundra shares her experiences with burnout, which led to an emphasis on rest in her life. They discuss issues related to work-life balance and the over-reliance on screens and identify areas for enhancing rest that most people aren’t aware of. Then, Tony took Dr. Saundra’s 'rest quiz' and reviewed the results. You can find the Rest Quiz at https://www.restquiz.com/quiz/rest-quiz-test/
00:00 Introduction and Personal Reflections on Sleep
01:31 Historical Figures and Their Sleep Patterns
02:25 The Misconceptions and Judgments Around Sleep
04:11 Personal Struggles with Sleep and Introduction of Guest
05:21 Taking the Rest Quiz and Discussing the Results
06:29 Introduction to Dr. Saundra Dalton and Her Work
06:36 Debunking Common Myths About Sleep
09:10 The Importance of Different Types of Rest
11:14 The Impact of Sensory Overload on Rest
12:49 The Role of Spiritual Rest in Overall Wellbeing
14:14 The Importance of Emotional and Social Rest
36:21 The Personal Journey Towards Understanding Rest
37:17 Sharing the Secret to Happiness at Work
37:22 Identifying Your Rest Deficit
37:46 Taking the Rest Quiz
38:44 Personal Journey and Motivation
40:17 Navigating the Healthcare System
40:43 Taking Control of Your Health
42:39 Unexpected End of Interview
43:06 Bonus: Taking the Rest Quiz Live
01:08:38 Interpreting the Rest Quiz Results
01:12:57 Conclusion and Recommendations
Please follow Tony’s newest Instagram account for the Waking Up to Narcissism podcast https://www.instagram.com/wutnpod/ as well as Tony’s account https://www.instagram.com/tonyoverbay_lmft/
To learn more about Tony's upcoming re-release of the Magnetic Marriage course, his Pathback Recovery course, and more, sign up for his newsletter through the link at https://linktr.ee/virtualcouch
Subscribe to Tony's latest podcast, "Waking Up to Narcissism Q&A - Premium Podcast," on the Apple Podcast App. https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/waking-up-to-narcissism-q-a/id1667287384
Go to http://tonyoverbay.com/workshop to sign up for Tony's "Magnetize Your Marriage" virtual workshop. The cost is only $19, and you'll learn the top 3 things you can do NOW to create a Magnetic Marriage.
You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program, The Path Back, by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit
Tony mentioned a product that he used to take out all of the "uh's" and "um's" that, in his words, "must be created by wizards and magic!" because it's that good! To learn more about Descript, click here https://descript.com?lmref=bSWcEQ
Tony addresses why so many New Year’s resolutions don’t last and explores the concept of value-based goals and the importance of aligning them with personal values for the sake of authenticity and lasting change. He discusses the shortcomings of the SMART (Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Relevant, and Time-bound) goal-setting method. He plays clips from an interview with his friend Neal Hooper about their discoveries on incorporating Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) into the goal-setting process. Neal introduces the elements necessary for genuine progress and fulfillment - the 'why' and 'how' of making SMARTER goals. Drawing from the principles of ACT and illustrating through the story of the client “Jason’s” transformational journey, he emphasizes the significance of acceptance, committed action, and psychological flexibility. The episode also points out the need to view setbacks as opportunities for growth, not pitfalls, and illustrates the importance of flexibility in goal setting.
00:00 Introduction: The Struggle with Traditional Goal-Setting
01:27 Meet the Host: Tony Overbay and His Podcasts
03:11 The Problem with New Year's Resolutions
06:48 The SMART Goals Method: An Overview
08:21 Jason's Story: A Case Study in Goal Setting
09:27 The Limitations of SMART Goals: Jason's Experience
14:26 The Shift to Values-Driven Goals
15:00 Jason's Transformation: Embracing a Holistic Approach
22:27 Conclusion: The Power of Mindfulness and Acceptance in Goal Setting
23:01 Challenges and Old Habits
23:24 Acceptance and Compassion in Change
24:10 The Power of Small Victories
24:42 Aligning Goals with Personal Values
25:13 The Pitfalls of Yo-Yo Dieting
25:42 The Pushup Challenge: A Personal Journey
26:25 Embracing Acceptance and Commitment Therapy
27:27 The Power of Daily Commitment
29:56 The Importance of Why and How in Goal Setting
30:22 The Role of Shame in Goal Setting
30:56 The Problem with Traditional Goal Setting
31:19 The Importance of Perceived Value and Capability in Goals
34:36 The Power of Smarter Goals
41:58 The Misconception of Committed Action
43:25 The Role of Setbacks in Growth
44:14 Embracing Discomfort and Doubt
44:42 Conclusion: The Power of ACT Principles
Find all the latest links to podcasts, courses, Tony's newsletter, and more at https://linktr.ee/virtualcouch
Please follow Tony’s new Waking Up to Narcissism Instagram account here https://www.instagram.com/wutnpod/
Subscribe to Tony's latest podcast, "Waking Up to Narcissism Q&A - Premium Podcast," on the Apple Podcast App.
https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/waking-up-to-narcissism-q-a/id1667287384
Go to http://tonyoverbay.com/workshop to sign up for Tony's "Magnetize Your Marriage" virtual workshop. The cost is only $19, and you'll learn the top 3 things you can do NOW to create a Magnetic Marriage.
You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program, The Path Back, by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to receive updates on upcoming programs and podcasts.
Tony mentioned a product that he used to take out all of the "uh's" and "um's" that, in his words, "must be created by wizards and magic!" because it's that good! To learn more about Descript, click here https://descript.com?lmref=bSWcEQ
In this special bonus episode of The Virtual Couch, Tony shares the latest episode of “The Mind, The Mirror and Me,” a podcast he co-hosts with his daughter Mackie Overbay. Mackie shares 24 life lessons she's learned in her 24 years of life in honor of her birthday (today! Wish her a happy birthday at @beautybymackie on Instagram). From discussing the importance of setting boundaries to embracing change and adaptability, she discusses different emotional growth and well-being aspects. The episode encourages listeners to introspect on their lessons and take things in stride, emphasizing that no one has life entirely figured out, and that's alright. Please follow/subscribe to the Mind, the Mirror, and Me podcast wherever you listen to podcasts. You can find it on Spotify at https://open.spotify.com/episode/7d4zmbpTEuKqabIjgXFq9N?si=6133f8620d4a41d1 or Apple Podcasts at https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-mind-the-mirror-me/id1701226687?i=1000639575815
00:00 Introduction and Studio Banter
00:24 The Reality of Therapy and Emotional Heavy Lifting
01:29 The Irony of Therapy Sessions
01:42 The Unusual Side of Therapy
02:08 The Struggles of Starting a Therapy Session
02:43 The Unexpected Moments in Therapy
02:55 Celebrating Birthdays and Reflecting on Life
04:01 The Journey of Self-Discovery and Growth
06:07 The Importance of Quality Friendships
06:27 The Power of Setting Boundaries
06:31 The Dangers of Comparison
07:28 The Value of Small Victories
08:48 Learning from Failures
09:41 Trusting Your Gut
11:45 Being Present in the Moment
14:22 The Role of Mindfulness in Life
19:46 Embracing the Present Moment
19:59 Outgrowing People and Situations
20:43 Trusting in Destiny
22:39 The Power of Privacy
24:41 Letting Go of Unhealthy Relationships
27:04 The Importance of Self-Validation
27:34 The Struggles of Being Single
29:40 The Power of Writing Things Down
31:05 Accepting Imperfections
34:47 Finding a Fulfilling Career
35:41 The Futility of Holding Grudges
36:15 Adapting to Change
37:51 The Reality of Human Perception
What happens when an optimist and a pessimist are in a long-term relationship? According to new research from the article “Can an Unhappy Partner Erode Your Happiness Over Time?”
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/close-encounters/202312/can-an-unhappy-partner-erode-your-happiness-over-time by Gwendolyn Seidman Ph.D.
they eventually align somewhat in their outlooks, but does this lean toward optimism or pessimism? In this episode, Tony engages in a thorough discussion about emotional contagion in relationships, emphasizing how negative emotions tend to spread more rapidly than positive ones. He draws on various research studies to shed light on 'emotional vampires' - individuals who consistently dampen the mood and thus impact the overall happiness in relationships. Additionally, Tony shares a story from one of his clients, illustrating the significance of self-awareness in fostering a positive approach in relationships. Concluding the episode, he offers practical advice on being aware of your emotional impact and implementing changes for healthier and more positive interactions.
00:00 Introduction and Personal Anecdote
02:01 The Influence of Partners on Each Other's Happiness
02:14 Welcome to the Virtual Couch Podcast
02:36 The Concept of Influence in Relationships
03:44 Upcoming Topics and Magnetic Marriage Course
04:08 The Impact of an Unhappy Partner on Your Happiness
07:06 The Power of Negative Emotions
09:51 The Story of Emily: A Case Study
14:44 The Influence of Happiness and Unhappiness in Relationships
20:03 The Role of Emotional Contagion in Relationships
26:40 Takeaways and Final Thoughts
Find all the latest links to podcasts, courses, Tony's newsletter, and more at https://linktr.ee/virtualcouch
Tony mentioned the Instagram account https://www.instagram.com/thesecurerelationship/
Please follow Tony’s new Waking Up to Narcissism Instagram account here https://www.instagram.com/wutnpod/
Subscribe to Tony's latest podcast, "Waking Up to Narcissism Q&A - Premium Podcast," on the Apple Podcast App.
https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/waking-up-to-narcissism-q-a/id1667287384
Go to http://tonyoverbay.com/workshop to sign up for Tony's "Magnetize Your Marriage" virtual workshop. The cost is only $19, and you'll learn the top 3 things you can do NOW to create a Magnetic Marriage.
You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program, The Path Back, by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to receive updates on upcoming programs and podcasts.
Tony mentioned a product that he used to take out all of the "uh's" and "um's" that, in his words, "must be created by wizards and magic!" because it's that good! To learn more about Descript, click here https://descript.com?lmref=bSWcEQ
Tony tackles the misconception of perfection and the fear of making a mistake. He emphasizes the importance of differentiating ourselves, pursuing our genuine passions, and learning to accept the unpredictability of life. Tony guides us to redefine fulfillment and happiness by 'just being ourselves'. He also explores how our minds play tricks on us, particularly our inherent need for approval and certainty, and examines the role of overconfidence. He finally discusses how embracing the beauty of an ordinary life can make us feel more fulfilled. Dive into this insightful talk and learn more about living authentically and finding joy in your journey.
00:00 Introduction and Story Time
00:38 Ted's Story: The Fear of Making a Mistake
01:14 Ted's Career and Passion for Reading and Writing
02:38 Ted's Realization and Struggle with Self-Acceptance
03:15 The Importance of Pursuing Genuine Happiness
04:19 The Struggle with Comparison and the Desire to Stand Out
04:32 Introduction to the Virtual Couch Podcast
06:07 The Journey of Self-Discovery and Acceptance
09:48 The Role of Others in Our Self-Perception
14:54 The Fear of Rejection and the Desire for Certainty
22:03 The Illusion of Certainty and the Power of Open-Mindedness
26:34 Embracing the Beauty of Being Okay
27:47 Conclusion and Farewell
Find all the latest links to podcasts, courses, Tony's newsletter, and more at https://linktr.ee/virtualcouch
Tony mentioned the Instagram account https://www.instagram.com/thesecurerelationship/
Please follow Tony’s new Waking Up to Narcissism Instagram account here https://www.instagram.com/wutnpod/
Subscribe to Tony's latest podcast, "Waking Up to Narcissism Q&A - Premium Podcast," on the Apple Podcast App.
https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/waking-up-to-narcissism-q-a/id1667287384
Go to http://tonyoverbay.com/workshop to sign up for Tony's "Magnetize Your Marriage" virtual workshop. The cost is only $19, and you'll learn the top 3 things you can do NOW to create a Magnetic Marriage.
You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program, The Path Back, by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to receive updates on upcoming programs and podcasts.
Tony mentioned a product that he used to take out all of the "uh's" and "um's" that, in his words, "must be created by wizards and magic!" because it's that good! To learn more about Descript, click here https://descript.com?lmref=bSWcEQ
Research shows that 95% of adults believe they are self-aware, yet only 10-15% actually are. Where do you fit into this equation? Tony delves into the world of emotional intelligence, and how your emotions shape your reactions, and how that can negatively or positively impact your relationships. From personal anecdotes, including a delayed flight and a lucid dreaming experience, Tony illustrates the importance of self-awareness and emotional management. The episode comprehensively explores emotional intelligence, highlighting its impact on personal relationships, leadership, and self-perception. Tony discusses the four critical components of emotional intelligence: self-awareness, self-management, social awareness, and relationship management, emphasizing the foundational role of self-awareness in recognizing emotional triggers and responding thoughtfully in challenging situations.
This episode goes beyond theory, intertwining personal stories, client experiences, and research findings to reveal the transformative power of emotional intelligence in both personal and professional settings. Tony invites listeners to embrace discomfort as a catalyst for growth, emphasizing continuous self-reflection and intentional efforts to enhance emotional intelligence. He also touches on the influence of emotional intelligence in leadership and workplace dynamics, underscoring its value in effective team collaboration and conflict resolution. With a focus on empathy and effective emotion management, Tony's insights serve as a compelling call to action, encouraging individuals to cultivate these skills for improved well-being and success in an increasingly complex and interconnected world.
Find all the latest links to podcasts, courses, Tony's newsletter, and more at https://linktr.ee/virtualcouch
Tony mentioned the Instagram account https://www.instagram.com/thesecurerelationship/
Please follow Tony’s new Waking Up to Narcissism Instagram account here https://www.instagram.com/wutnpod/
Subscribe to Tony's latest podcast, "Waking Up to Narcissism Q&A - Premium Podcast," on the Apple Podcast App.
https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/waking-up-to-narcissism-q-a/id1667287384
Go to http://tonyoverbay.com/workshop to sign up for Tony's "Magnetize Your Marriage" virtual workshop. The cost is only $19, and you'll learn the top 3 things you can do NOW to create a Magnetic Marriage.
You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program, The Path Back, by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to receive updates on upcoming programs and podcasts.
Tony mentioned a product that he used to take out all of the "uh's" and "um's" that, in his words, "must be created by wizards and magic!" because it's that good! To learn more about Descript, click here https://descript.com?lmref=bSWcEQ
Have you ever wished for a better relationship with your parents? As a parent, do you worry that how you're raising your kids now might make them feel disconnected from you as adults? Where does one start laying the foundation to ensure a healthy parent-child relationship into adulthood? Today, Tony delves deep into these pressing questions, offering insightful answers and practical guidance.
Tony discusses the intricate dynamics between parents and their adult children. We explore themes of non-judgmental observation, the crucial role of patience and consistent effort, the art of practicing acceptance, and the importance of self-compassion in mending and strengthening these relationships. Tony sheds light on the common pitfalls of making judgments and assumptions, urging parents to empathize with their children's experiences without imposing their perspectives. The episode emphasizes the parent's role as the primary agent of change, highlighting that while we cannot erase the past, we can certainly start a new, more hopeful chapter. ‘We can't erase the past, but it's okay to start a new chapter, one where growth is possible, and the relationship can find a new form,’ Tony notes, encapsulating the message of hope and resilience.
Listeners will discover actionable steps for parents, including the power of self-reflection, acknowledging past hurts, reaching out consistently without pressure, and nurturing self-compassion and patience. The episode also discusses the therapeutic approach of writing a letter to acknowledge a child's experiences to promote understanding and healing. This conversation is about repairing relationships and transforming them through empathy, understanding, and a committed, patient journey toward healing and growth. Tune in for an enlightening exploration of how to nurture and heal the complex yet beautiful connections between parents and their adult children, making this episode a must-listen for anyone looking to deepen and improve these essential relationships in their life.
Find all the latest links to podcasts, courses, Tony's newsletter, and more at https://linktr.ee/virtualcouch
Tony mentioned the Instagram account https://www.instagram.com/thesecurerelationship/
Please follow Tony’s new Waking Up to Narcissism Instagram account here https://www.instagram.com/wutnpod/
Subscribe to Tony's latest podcast, "Waking Up to Narcissism Q&A - Premium Podcast," on the Apple Podcast App.
https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/waking-up-to-narcissism-q-a/id1667287384
Go to http://tonyoverbay.com/workshop to sign up for Tony's "Magnetize Your Marriage" virtual workshop. The cost is only $19, and you'll learn the top 3 things you can do NOW to create a Magnetic Marriage.
You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program, The Path Back, by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to receive updates on upcoming programs and podcasts.
Tony mentioned a product that he used to take out all of the "uh's" and "um's" that, in his words, "must be created by wizards and magic!" because it's that good! To learn more about Descript, click here https://descript.com?lmref=bSWcEQ
Last Wednesday evening, October 25, 2023, Tony Overbay, LMFT, and Joshua Shea traded text messages as they often do on Wednesday to discuss whether or not they were going to meet virtually early Thursday morning as they continue to work on various projects around their best-selling book, “He’s a Porn Addict Now What? An Expert and a Former Addict Answer Your Questions.” The text conversations took an abrupt turn as Josh was alerted by an emergency broadcast on his phone and through social media that 40-year-old Maine National Guard reservist Robert Card went on two shooting rampages, killing 18 people and wounding 13 with the second only a mile away from Shea's home in Lewiston, Maine. Several days later, Josh and Tony get together to attempt to navigate the complex emotional landscape of discussing such a horrifying event, underscoring the importance of approaching the subject with the utmost sensitivity, empathy, and respect.
Tony and Josh dive deep into Shea's personal experiences during the incident and its aftermath. As a former news reporter, Shea candidly shares the surreal emotional and psychological journey he took, contrasting his past experiences running towards crises as part of his job to now sheltering at home in fear and uncertainty. Shea reveals the emotional rollercoaster he's been on: from survivor guilt and concern for his family's safety to the struggles of processing such an immense tragedy, including what the future looks like when an event that we hear about unfortunately far too often actually happens in an area that you know so well. The conversation touches on the psychological toll of collective traumatic experiences, like 9/11 and the COVID-19 pandemic, and the long-lasting effects they have on individuals and entire communities.
The episode wraps up with insightful conversations around coping mechanisms and the critical importance of mental health support in the wake of traumatic events. This episode serves as a sobering but necessary dialogue on the unpredictable nature of life and the importance of mental and emotional preparedness while understanding that everybody has their own experience and that there truly is no “correct” way to grieve. It's an episode that invites the audience not just to hear but to listen, reflect, and possibly find solace in shared human experiences.
Please visit Tony's linktree to find out more about his various other projects or to sign up for his mailing list to get the latest on courses, podcasts, and more https://linktr.ee/virtualcouch
Tony tackles the alarming issue of unhealthy practices in therapy, spurred by a recent news article detailing the unethical behavior of therapist Jody Hildebrandt. The article: “A former client of Jodi Hildebrandt says his family and life were 'destroyed' after she spilled details of his sessions to the Mormon Church” - By Rebecca Cohen https://www.msn.com/en-us/news/us/a-former-client-of-jodi-hildebrandt-says-his-family-and-life-were-destroyed-after-she-spilled-details-of-his-sessions-to-the-mormon-church/ar-AA1hirzA Tony dives into the destructive nature of shame-based therapy, refuting its effectiveness and ethical standing. You'll hear firsthand accounts of the damage shame-based approaches can cause, all the while raising the question: How should therapists truly be helping their clients?
In the second half, the episode shifts towards de-stigmatizing 'porn addiction,' urging listeners to understand it as more of an unhealthy coping mechanism and why strength-based approaches to improving one's life with the acceptance that it is THEIR life work and a therapist, life coach, or religious leader making it about THEMSELVES will only further exacerbate the problem. Tony talks about evidence-based therapeutic strategies like acceptance and commitment therapy that operate from a place of compassion, not shame. By doing so, individuals are empowered with the tools and emotional freedom to reshape their coping mechanisms, ultimately leading to more fulfilling lives.
Please subscribe to Tony's YouTube Channel here https://www.youtube.com/@TheVirtualCouchPodcast and you can find this video with Descript’s “eye contact” feature enabled here https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kk2qwiMyn84&t=5s
Tony and Sydney’s episode of Murder on the Couch can be located here https://youtu.be/U3NO4ftF9Ik
Please follow Tony’s newest Instagram account for the Waking Up to Narcissism podcast https://www.instagram.com/wutnpod/ as well as Tony’s account https://www.instagram.com/tonyoverbay_lmft/
To learn more about Tony's upcoming re-release of the Magnetic Marriage course, his Pathback Recovery course, and more, sign up for his newsletter through the link at https://linktr.ee/virtualcouch
Subscribe to Tony's latest podcast, "Waking Up to Narcissism Q&A - Premium Podcast," on the Apple Podcast App. https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/waking-up-to-narcissism-q-a/id1667287384
Go to http://tonyoverbay.com/workshop to sign up for Tony's "Magnetize Your Marriage" virtual workshop. The cost is only $19, and you'll learn the top 3 things you can do NOW to create a Magnetic Marriage.
You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program, The Path Back, by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com
Have you ever wondered why chasing happiness often leaves you feeling unfulfilled? Or why your need for control seems to be controlling you? Tony answers these questions and more as he dives into the complexities of happiness, control, and commitment through the lens of Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT). He challenges the common notion that happiness is all about feeling good and explores a richer, more meaningful definition of happiness that aligns with our core values. He also tackles the human need for control and certainty, discussing how letting go and embracing uncertainty can be liberating, allowing us to focus on what truly matters.
And if you’ve ever wondered about whether or not a little bit of worrying is helping, or if you’ve questioned if commitment is more than just sticking to a plan, Tony offers insight that will bring more clarity as well as provide you with a few steps to help get you unstuck. We dive deep into commitment, emphasizing that it's not always about feeling good but about taking consistent, value-based actions—even when it's tough. The episode also addresses the pitfalls of worrying and ruminating, offering a fresh perspective on problem-solving that aligns with our values. We introduce the idea of self-differentiation, explaining how it allows us to maintain emotional and intellectual independence while fully engaging with the world around us.
Ever catch yourself reminiscing about the early days of your relationship when everything felt fresh and exciting? Let's be honest, over time, routines set in, and we often find ourselves on relationship auto-pilot.
But what if you could shake things up and rediscover that joy?
The Unlock the Power of Intimacy Summit is your golden ticket. Best of all, it’s FREE. I am participating as a presenter and host of other marriage and intimacy experts.
This is FOUR days of incredible insight for free, starting Monday, October 9th.
We will uncover tools and strategies to deepen your connection, elevate your relationship skillset, and reignite your passion. I will go deep into my “4 Pillars of a Connected Conversation” (and much more!).
https://tonyoverbay.us16.list-manage.com/track/click?u=83ba492f9e6161cdbe0a39671&id=415b315c40&e=14037a4779
Tony and Sydney’s episode of Murder on the Couch can be located here https://youtu.be/U3NO4ftF9Ik
Please follow Tony’s newest Instagram account for the Waking Up to Narcissism podcast https://www.instagram.com/wutnpod/ as well as Tony’s account https://www.instagram.com/tonyoverbay_lmft/
To learn more about Tony's upcoming re-release of the Magnetic Marriage course, his Pathback Recovery course, and more, sign up for his newsletter through the link at https://linktr.ee/virtualcouch
Inside ACT for Anxiety Disorder Course is Open! Visit https://praxiscet.com/virtualcouch Inside ACT for Anxiety Disorders, Dr. Michael Twohig will teach you the industry-standard treatment used by anxiety-treatment experts around the world. Through 6 modules of clear instruction and clinical demonstrations, you will learn how to create opportunities for clients to practice psychological flexibility in the presence of anxiety.
After completing the course material, you'll have a new, highly effective anxiety treatment tool that can be used with every anxiety-related disorder, from OCD to panic disorder to generalized anxiety disorder.
And follow Tony on the Virtual Couch YouTube channel for a sneak preview of his upcoming podcast "Murder on the Couch," where True Crime meets therapy, co-hosted with his daughter Sydney. You can watch a pre-release clip here https://youtu.be/-RkRq8SrQy0
Subscribe to Tony's latest podcast, "Waking Up to Narcissism Q&A - Premium Podcast," on the Apple Podcast App. https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/waking-up-to-narcissism-q-a/id1667287384
Go to http://tonyoverbay.com/workshop to sign up for Tony's "Magnetize Your Marriage" virtual workshop. The cost is only $19, and you'll learn the top 3 things you can do NOW to create a Magnetic Marriage.
You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program, The Path Back, by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com
Tony mentioned a product that he used to take out all of the "uh's" and "um's" that, in his words, "must be created by wizards and magic!" because it's that good! To learn more about Descript, click here https://descript.com?lmref=bSWcEQ
Dive deep with Tony as he unravels the origins and implications of our "inner critic." From the evolutionary roots that kept our ancestors safe from predators to the modern-day societal pressures that amplify our self-doubt, discover why our brains are wired to magnify mistakes and how this impacts our mental well-being. Drawing from expert insights, like David Foster Wallace's profound reflections on conscious awareness and Marshall Rosenberg's principles of nonviolent communication, this episode sheds light on the powerful narratives we unconsciously craft about ourselves.
Journey through the transformative power of self-compassion, understanding its significance in challenging our deeply ingrained self-critiques. Learn the art of observing without judging, mindfulness's magic, and recognizing our shared human experience. Tony compares our minds to a vast sponge shaped by every lived experience and offers practical strategies to balance negative and positive. By the end, listeners will be equipped with tools to release the metaphorical handbrake of self-criticism, setting them on a path toward personal growth, understanding, and a more compassionate inner narrative.
Tony and Sydney’s episode of Murder on the Couch can be located here https://youtu.be/U3NO4ftF9Ik
Please follow Tony’s newest Instagram account for the Waking Up to Narcissism podcast https://www.instagram.com/wutnpod/ as well as Tony’s account https://www.instagram.com/tonyoverbay_lmft/
To learn more about Tony's upcoming re-release of the Magnetic Marriage course, his Pathback Recovery course, and more, sign up for his newsletter through the link at https://linktr.ee/virtualcouch
The episode featured in the “letter from Blake” at the beginning of today’s episode can be found here https://blubrry.com/the_virtual_couch/111033262/youre-not-broken-youre-human-exploring-rising-depression-rates-wnate-christensen-apcc
Inside ACT for Anxiety Disorder Course is Open! Visit https://praxiscet.com/virtualcouch Inside ACT for Anxiety Disorders, Dr. Michael Twohig will teach you the industry-standard treatment used by anxiety-treatment experts around the world. Through 6 modules of clear instruction and clinical demonstrations, you will learn how to create opportunities for clients to practice psychological flexibility in the presence of anxiety.
After completing the course material, you'll have a new, highly effective anxiety treatment tool that can be used with every anxiety-related disorder, from OCD to panic disorder to generalized anxiety disorder.
And follow Tony on the Virtual Couch YouTube channel for a sneak preview of his upcoming podcast "Murder on the Couch," where True Crime meets therapy, co-hosted with his daughter Sydney. You can watch a pre-release clip here https://youtu.be/-RkRq8SrQy0
Subscribe to Tony's latest podcast, "Waking Up to Narcissism Q&A - Premium Podcast," on the Apple Podcast App. https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/waking-up-to-narcissism-q-a/id1667287384
Go to http://tonyoverbay.com/workshop to sign up for Tony's "Magnetize Your Marriage" virtual workshop. The cost is only $19, and you'll learn the top 3 things you can do NOW to create a Magnetic Marriage.
You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program, The Path Back, by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com
Tony mentioned a product that he used to take out all of the "uh's" and "um's" that, in his words, "must be created by wizards and magic!" because it's that good! To learn more about Descript, click here https://descript.com?lmref=bSWcEQ
Have you ever heard that when a baby, or a dog, or basically any animal is twitching, they are dreaming? But what if that twitching occurs in the womb or from a baby mouse whose eyes haven't yet opened? Tony discusses the article "What Are Dreams For" by Amanda Gefter, https://apple.news/ATyOGpIRDQNOHahTKYECH5Q This episode dives deep into the intricate relationship between dreams and our bodily sensations. Grounded in recent scientific research, we explore how our dreaming minds are influenced by physical signals, including heart rates, vestibular system information, and even muscular sensations. We'll discuss how dreams incorporate snippets of our daily lives and long-forgotten memories, pointing to a complex dialogue between the mind and the body. Additionally, we touch upon the innovative domain of robotics, where principles from dreaming inspire adaptive learning in machines. Join us as we unravel the intricate web of dreams, bodily experiences, and the subtle ways they shape our understanding of reality.
Please follow Tony’s newest Instagram account for the Waking Up to Narcissism podcast https://www.instagram.com/wutnpod/ as well as Tony’s account https://www.instagram.com/tonyoverbay_lmft/
To learn more about Tony's upcoming re-release of the Magnetic Marriage course, his Pathback Recovery course, and more, sign up for his newsletter through the link at https://linktr.ee/virtualcouch
Inside ACT for Anxiety Disorder Course is Open! Visit https://praxiscet.com/virtualcouch Inside ACT for Anxiety Disorders, Dr. Michael Twohig will teach you the industry-standard treatment used by anxiety-treatment experts around the world. Through 6 modules of clear instruction and clinical demonstrations, you will learn how to create opportunities for clients to practice psychological flexibility in the presence of anxiety.
After completing the course material, you'll have a new, highly effective anxiety treatment tool that can be used with every anxiety-related disorder, from OCD to panic disorder to generalized anxiety disorder.
And follow Tony on the Virtual Couch YouTube channel for a sneak preview of his upcoming podcast "Murder on the Couch," where True Crime meets therapy, co-hosted with his daughter Sydney. You can watch a pre-release clip here https://youtu.be/-RkRq8SrQy0
Subscribe to Tony's latest podcast, "Waking Up to Narcissism Q&A - Premium Podcast," on the Apple Podcast App. https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/waking-up-to-narcissism-q-a/id1667287384
Go to http://tonyoverbay.com/workshop to sign up for Tony's "Magnetize Your Marriage" virtual workshop. The cost is only $19, and you'll learn the top 3 things you can do NOW to create a Magnetic Marriage.
You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program, The Path Back, by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to receive updates on upcoming programs and podcasts.
Tony mentioned a product that he used to take out all of the "uh's" and "um's" that, in his words, "must be created by wizards and magic!" because it's that good! To learn more about Descript, click here https://descript.com?lmref=bSWcEQ
Tony reconnects with Julie Lee, who opens up about a tumultuous year marked by personal challenges, including her divorce and the heartrending loss of her sister. Additionally, Julie reveals a recent ADHD diagnosis, joining Tony in the ranks of those diagnosed with ADHD later in life. The duo dives deep into their experiences with ADHD, highlighting its challenges and unexpected silver linings. They underscore the therapeutic power of humor, with Julie sharing how it has been an essential coping mechanism during her trying times. Julie also shares some powerful stories, like discovering a note from her late sister, underscoring the profound power of humor to connect, heal, and make sense of life's unpredictable paths. At the end of the episode, Tony and Julie attempt to make each other laugh, with Julie turning to help from her young daughter in the joke-writing.
Furthermore, this conversation sets the stage for an exciting announcement: the launch of Julie and Tony's joint podcast, "Love, ADHD - Where Genius and Scatter Meet." Aiming to demystify the adult ADHD experience and provide solace through shared stories, their podcast offers listeners both relatable narratives and valuable insights. By melding authenticity with humor, "Love, ADHD" seeks to be more than just a podcast—it's a community for those looking to understand and embrace the complexities of ADHD and life itself. Follow or subscribe to “Love, ADHD” wherever you get your podcasts. Apple Podcast listeners can follow here https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/love-adhd/id1707721821 and Spotify listeners can follow here https://open.spotify.com/show/6kyxztvpVXk1EgeyzuzsQ3?si=bb678548eebc45eb
Please follow Tony’s newest Instagram account for the Waking Up to Narcissism podcasthttps://www.instagram.com/wutnpod/ as well as Tony’s accounthttps://www.instagram.com/tonyoverbay_lmft/
To learn more about Tony's upcoming re-release of the Magnetic Marriage course, his Pathback Recovery course, and more, sign up for his newsletter through the link at https://linktr.ee/virtualcouch
Inside ACT for Anxiety Disorder Course is Open! Visit https://praxiscet.com/virtualcouch Inside ACT for Anxiety Disorders, Dr. Michael Twohig will teach you the industry-standard treatment used by anxiety-treatment experts around the world. Through 6 modules of clear instruction and clinical demonstrations, you will learn how to create opportunities for clients to practice psychological flexibility in the presence of anxiety.
After completing the course material, you'll have a new, highly effective anxiety treatment tool that can be used with every anxiety-related disorder, from OCD to panic disorder to generalized anxiety disorder.
And follow Tony on the Virtual Couch YouTube channel for a sneak preview of his upcoming podcast "Murder on the Couch," where True Crime meets therapy, co-hosted with his daughter Sydney. You can watch a pre-release clip herehttps://youtu.be/-RkRq8SrQy0
Subscribe to Tony's latest podcast, "Waking Up to Narcissism Q&A - Premium Podcast," on the Apple Podcast App.https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/waking-up-to-narcissism-q-a/id1667287384
Go to http://tonyoverbay.com/workshop to sign up for Tony's "Magnetize Your Marriage" virtual workshop. The cost is only $19, and you'll learn the top 3 things you can do NOW to create a Magnetic Marriage.
You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program, The Path Back, by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to receive updates on upcoming programs and podcasts.
Tony mentioned a product that he used to take out all of the "uh's" and "um's" that, in his words, "must be created by wizards and magic!" because it's that good! To learn more about Descript, click here https://descript.com?lmref=bSWcEQ
Rachel Nielson joins Tony Overbay from the 3 in 30 Podcast for Moms to share the details of Rachel’s time-sensitive once-a-year program, “Self-Assured Motherhood” (SAM). SAM is a 9-month course for women “ready to stop second-guessing themselves and to start bringing the best of themselves to their motherhood.” They discuss the need for boundaries in relationships. Rachel shares her personal stories about infertility and adoption and talks about how important it is to support and understand people going through tough times. She stresses parents' role in a child's life and talks about her approach to positive parenting based on John Gottman's ideas.
Tony also shares her experiences with the Nurtured Heart parenting method, which focuses on praising the good things children do while not letting them see and push your buttons. Rachel talks about how important self-care is and how we can look after ourselves without feeling guilty. And they spend time discussing in detail Rachel’s program, especially her “3 Key Pillars” of “Know Your Self,” “Honor Your Needs,” and “Love Your People,” which play a significant role in helping moms feel more confident and balanced.
Wrapping up, Tony and Rachel encourage listeners to check out the "Self-Assured Motherhood" program, which has helped many women improve their relationships and feel more confident as mothers. They remind listeners to visit the program's website, selfassuredmotherhood.com If you're interested in parenting, relationships, or just hearing some heartfelt stories, this episode is for you.
Here's a link to Rachel's Self-Assured Motherhood Program http://3in30podcast.com/sam and here's a link for Rachel's free class http://3in30podcast.com/freeclass
Please follow Tony’s newest Instagram account for the Waking Up to Narcissism podcast https://www.instagram.com/wutnpod/ as well as Tony’s account https://www.instagram.com/tonyoverbay_lmft/
To learn more about Tony's upcoming re-release of the Magnetic Marriage course, his Pathback Recovery course, and more, sign up for his newsletter through the link at https://linktr.ee/virtualcouch
Inside ACT for Anxiety Disorder Course is Open! Visit https://praxiscet.com/virtualcouch Inside ACT for Anxiety Disorders, Dr. Michael Twohig will teach you the industry-standard treatment used by anxiety-treatment experts around the world. Through 6 modules of clear instruction and clinical demonstrations, you will learn how to create opportunities for clients to practice psychological flexibility in the presence of anxiety.
After completing the course material, you'll have a new, highly effective anxiety treatment tool that can be used with every anxiety-related disorder, from OCD to panic disorder to generalized anxiety disorder.
And follow Tony on the Virtual Couch YouTube channel for a sneak preview of his upcoming podcast "Murder on the Couch," where True Crime meets therapy, co-hosted with his daughter Sydney. You can watch a pre-release clip here https://youtu.be/-RkRq8SrQy0
Subscribe to Tony's latest podcast, "Waking Up to Narcissism Q&A - Premium Podcast," on the Apple Podcast App. https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/waking-up-to-narcissism-q-a/id1667287384
Go to http://tonyoverbay.com/workshop to sign up for Tony's "Magnetize Your Marriage" virtual workshop. The cost is only $19, and you'll learn the top 3 things you can do NOW to create a Magnetic Marriage.
You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program, The Path Back, by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to receive updates on upcoming programs and podcasts.
Tony mentioned a product that he used to take out all of the "uh's" and "um's" that, in his words, "must be created by wizards and magic!" because it's that good! To learn more about Descript, click here https://descript.com?lmref=bSWcEQ
Tony welcomes Gayane Aramyan, LMFT (https://www.therapywithgayane.com/, https://www.instagram.com/therapywithgayane/), for an enlightening exploration of contemporary parenting. Tony expresses that he genuinely “doesn’t know what he doesn’t know,” as a seasoned (translation “old”) father whose parenting experience hails from a less digital era, as he engages in a candid dialogue with Gayane, a mother of a 3-year-old. They delve into the labyrinth of information that's now at the fingertips of every parent, sifting through the myriad of resources to discern the invaluable from what is sometimes best described as “noise.” Gayane offers a poignant firsthand account of navigating motherhood's complexities, emphasizing the critical but often under-discussed realm of postpartum depression and, more specifically, post-partum rage and how new mothers and parents, in general, can prepare for all the unknowns of parenthood.
In an age where technology's imprint is indelible, they grapple with its dual-edged nature in child-rearing, considering its potential benefits and pitfalls. This episode is a nexus of seasoned wisdom and modern-day challenges, offering invaluable insights for those either embarking on the parenting journey or simply curious about the nuanced tapestry of raising children in our digital age. Equip yourself with knowledge and join this compelling discourse on the evolving dynamics of parenthood.
Please follow Tony’s newest Instagram account for the Waking Up to Narcissism podcast https://www.instagram.com/wutnpod/ as well as Tony’s account https://www.instagram.com/tonyoverbay_lmft/
To learn more about Tony's upcoming re-release of the Magnetic Marriage course, his Pathback Recovery course, and more, sign up for his newsletter through the link at https://linktr.ee/virtualcouch
Inside ACT for Anxiety Disorder Course is Open! Visit https://praxiscet.com/virtualcouch Inside ACT for Anxiety Disorders, Dr. Michael Twohig will teach you the industry-standard treatment used by anxiety-treatment experts around the world. Through 6 modules of clear instruction and clinical demonstrations, you will learn how to create opportunities for clients to practice psychological flexibility in the presence of anxiety.
After completing the course material, you'll have a new, highly effective anxiety treatment tool that can be used with every anxiety-related disorder, from OCD to panic disorder to generalized anxiety disorder.
And follow Tony on the Virtual Couch YouTube channel for a sneak preview of his upcoming podcast "Murder on the Couch," where True Crime meets therapy, co-hosted with his daughter Sydney. You can watch a pre-release clip here https://youtu.be/-RkRq8SrQy0
Subscribe to Tony's latest podcast, "Waking Up to Narcissism Q&A - Premium Podcast," on the Apple Podcast App. https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/waking-up-to-narcissism-q-a/id1667287384
Go to http://tonyoverbay.com/workshop to sign up for Tony's "Magnetize Your Marriage" virtual workshop. The cost is only $19, and you'll learn the top 3 things you can do NOW to create a Magnetic Marriage.
You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program, The Path Back, by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to receive updates on upcoming programs and podcasts.
Tony mentioned a product that he used to take out all of the "uh's" and "um's" that, in his words, "must be created by wizards and magic!" because it's that good! To learn more about Descript, click here https://descript.com?lmref=bSWcEQ
Tony explains what the psychology “buzzword” differentiation means and why it is essential to not only be differentiated in your key relationships but also how differentiation, or being able to recognize and separate your feelings and emotions from external influences, like the comments and interactions with others, is a critical component of emotional maturity, and as cliched as it sounds, becoming the very best version of yourself in ALL aspects of your life, and ANY conversation. One listener shares their journey through a candid letter, highlighting the challenges and epiphanies experienced during therapy sessions. From understanding their partner's perspective to navigating cultural and religious taboos on intimacy, the narrative uncovers the significance of recognizing one's emotions distinctly from external influences. The episode takes listeners on a journey of self-discovery, emphasizing the importance of setting boundaries, understanding reactions, and the continuous process of reshaping our mental landscapes. This episode offers a comprehensive look into fostering individuality while maintaining a deep connection with others through real-life examples, expert insights, and reflective techniques.
Tune in and explore the intricate dynamics of differentiation, understand Bowen's theory in a refreshing light, and get inspired to enrich your mental space continually. Whether it's about confronting past experiences, recognizing external pressures, or seeking genuine personal growth, this episode is a treasure trove of insights for those eager to embrace their authentic selves while building healthier relationships. Join us on the Virtual Couch, and let's journey together into the heart of true self-awareness.
To learn more about Tony's upcoming re-release of the Magnetic Marriage course, his Pathback Recovery course, and more, sign up for his newsletter through the link at https://linktr.ee/virtualcouch
Inside ACT for Anxiety Disorder Course is Open! Visit https://praxiscet.com/virtualcouch Inside ACT for Anxiety Disorders, Dr. Michael Twohig will teach you the industry-standard treatment used by anxiety-treatment experts around the world. Through 6 modules of clear instruction and clinical demonstrations, you will learn how to create opportunities for clients to practice psychological flexibility in the presence of anxiety.
After completing the course material, you'll have a new, highly effective anxiety treatment tool that can be used with every anxiety-related disorder, from OCD to panic disorder to generalized anxiety disorder.
And follow Tony on the Virtual Couch YouTube channel for a sneak preview of his upcoming podcast "Murder on the Couch," where True Crime meets therapy, co-hosted with his daughter Sydney. You can watch a pre-release clip here https://youtu.be/-RkRq8SrQy0
Subscribe to Tony's latest podcast, "Waking Up to Narcissism Q&A - Premium Podcast," on the Apple Podcast App. https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/waking-up-to-narcissism-q-a/id1667287384
Go to http://tonyoverbay.com/workshop to sign up for Tony's "Magnetize Your Marriage" virtual workshop. The cost is only $19, and you'll learn the top 3 things you can do NOW to create a Magnetic Marriage.
You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program, The Path Back, by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to receive updates on upcoming programs and podcasts.
Tony mentioned a product that he used to take out all of the "uh's" and "um's" that, in his words, "must be created by wizards and magic!" because it's that good! To learn more about Descript, click here https://descript.com?lmref=bSWcEQ
Tony explains why it is so easy to be misunderstood. He delves deep into the intricate world of Relational Frame Theory, shedding light on the pivotal role frame choice plays in our conversations. Through engaging discussions and real-life examples, Tony highlights the significance of understanding relationships and harnessing the power of curiosity. He touches upon the importance of approaching conversations with good intentions, observing without casting judgments, and navigating the challenges of differing interpretations of words like 'trauma.' By sharing a heartfelt letter from a listener, Tony vividly shows how past traumas shape our present, emphasizing the gaps they can create in trust and understanding.
Building on insights from a previous episode, Tony reintroduces the 'assertive frame' idea and demonstrates how word meanings can shift depending on the context. Tony references “A Liberated Mind” by Stephen Hayes, co-founder of Acceptance and Commitment Therapy, who emphasizes the depth and complexity of language and relationships. The episode beautifully encapsulates the journey from misunderstanding to connection, offering listeners actionable advice on fostering more robust relationships. From the intricacies of language learning to the importance of curiosity, Tony guides listeners through a transformative journey of communication and connection.
To learn more about Tony's upcoming re-release of the Magnetic Marriage course, his Pathback Recovery course, and more, sign up for his newsletter through the link at https://linktr.ee/virtualcouch
Inside ACT for Anxiety Disorder Course is Open! Visit https://praxiscet.com/virtualcouch Inside ACT for Anxiety Disorders, Dr. Michael Twohig will teach you the industry-standard treatment used by anxiety-treatment experts around the world. Through 6 modules of clear instruction and clinical demonstrations, you will learn how to create opportunities for clients to practice psychological flexibility in the presence of anxiety.
After completing the course material, you'll have a new, highly effective anxiety treatment tool that can be used with every anxiety-related disorder, from OCD to panic disorder to generalized anxiety disorder.
And follow Tony on the Virtual Couch YouTube channel for a sneak preview of his upcoming podcast "Murder on the Couch," where True Crime meets therapy, co-hosted with his daughter Sydney. You can watch a pre-release clip here https://youtu.be/-RkRq8SrQy0
Subscribe to Tony's latest podcast, "Waking Up to Narcissism Q&A - Premium Podcast," on the Apple Podcast App. https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/waking-up-to-narcissism-q-a/id1667287384
Go to http://tonyoverbay.com/workshop to sign up for Tony's "Magnetize Your Marriage" virtual workshop. The cost is only $19, and you'll learn the top 3 things you can do NOW to create a Magnetic Marriage.
You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program, The Path Back, by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to receive updates on upcoming programs and podcasts.
Tony mentioned a product that he used to take out all of the "uh's" and "um's" that, in his words, "must be created by wizards and magic!" because it's that good! To learn more about Descript, click here https://descript.com?lmref=bSWcEQ
Tony introduces a brand new podcast to The Virtual Couch Podcast Network, "The Mind, The Mirror & Me." Tony co-hosts the podcast with his daughter Mackie Overbay, a licensed cosmetologist and mental health advocate.
Fear, anxiety, and embracing change take center stage in this inspiring episode of "The Mind, The Mirror, & Me." Host Mackie and her therapist dad, Tony, dive deep into their personal journeys, sharing how they overcame anxiety and took courageous leaps in their careers and life. Tune in to discover practical strategies for navigating discomfort and embracing life's transitions, including the empowering concept of expansion in acceptance and commitment therapy. You'll be inspired to unleash your inner courage, pursue your passions, and move forward despite any nervous butterflies. Get ready to conquer fears and embrace change with this dynamic father-daughter duo!
You can find The Mind, The Mirror & Me wherever you listen to podcasts. For Apple Podcast listeners, go here https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-mind-the-mirror-me/id1701226687, and for Spotify listeners, go here https://open.spotify.com/show/5wchHyGlddGo7fAHVsZgRe?si=f9d2d5a373644621 and if you want to watch the podcast on YouTube go here https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fQ2DrLLizho
From The Mind, The Mirror & Me Trailer Welcome to "The Mind, The Mirror, and Me," where the worlds of beauty and mental health come together like never before. This is the podcast for anyone eager to explore not just what they see in the mirror but what lies beneath the surface. Mackie Overbay, a 20-something licensed cosmetologist, provides more than just styling tips; she offers a window into self-love, self-care, and the transformative power of looking your best. Her father, Tony Overbay, LMFT, an experienced marriage and family therapist, brings therapeutic insights, offering guidance on relationships, family dynamics, and emotional well-being. Together, they create a rich tapestry of conversation, appealing to listeners of all ages and backgrounds.
In each episode, you'll find engaging dialogues and real-world advice that intersects the outer appearance with inner growth. Whether exploring how a new hairstyle can boost your confidence or delving into techniques for cultivating mindfulness and mental clarity, this podcast is as multifaceted as the people it serves.
Hear stories from clients in the salon chair, participate in enlightening discussions on solitude, and engage with expert guests from various fields. With topics ranging from the latest trends in beauty to managing stress and anxiety, "The Mind, The Mirror, and Me" brings something unique and invaluable to the table.
Join Mackie and her father on this enlightening journey as they help listeners navigate both the mirror of appearance and the mirror of the mind. With every episode, they challenge, inspire, and empower, aiming to make everyone feel comfortable in their skin and life.
Listen in, and you may just discover that the path to well-being lies in the reflection of "The Mind, The Mirror, and Me."
Tony explains how every conversation and interaction with the right tools can be for your good. He discusses the importance of effective communication and understanding personal biases. Drawing an analogy from his experience with orange-tinted running sunglasses Tony received from an ultra marathon, he emphasized how our biases, much like the sunglasses, subtly color our perspectives. He introduced the four communication pillars as tools to understand others better and enhance conversations. These pillars include giving the benefit of the doubt, resisting the urge to tell somebody they’re wrong, seeking first to understand, staying engaged, and actively listening. Tony also touched on the challenges people face when seeking understanding, especially from leaders or advisors who might not genuinely listen to individual concerns. He stressed the importance of curiosity, open-mindedness, and ways for individuals to communicate their needs and feelings, “holding the assertive frame.” He shared his thoughts on healthy “assertive and nurturing” replacements for “masculine and feminine” concerning introducing polarity in relationships.
Tony then explores the pitfalls of "playing the victim" and avoiding discomfort in conversations. He emphasized the importance of prioritizing genuine connection over ego and fear and highlighted the dangers of seeking validation through listing past good deeds. Recognizing our emotional responses as opportunities for self-growth and reflection was also discussed. Using practical examples, Tony illustrated how confronting personal biases and embracing vulnerability can foster deeper connections and mutual understanding. Ultimately, the podcast underscored the need for individuals to consistently practice effective communication, hold an assertive frame, and seek growth and authenticity in their interactions.
And you can sign up for Mackie Overbay and Tony’s new podcast, “The Mind, The Mirror & Me,” at https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-mind-the-mirror-me/id1701226687
To learn more about their project or make an investment, visit http://wefunder.com/toosoon and be a part of the change in independent filmmaking. You can find Jeff and Aurora on Instagram at the production company’s account @stnormajean as well as on their individual accounts @auroraflorence and @jeffdickamore and go check out the Dating After Death podcast Jeff and Aurora mentioned at https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/dating-after-death/id1614164834
To learn more about Tony's upcoming re-release of the Magnetic Marriage course, his Pathback Recovery course, and more, sign up for his newsletter through the link at https://linktr.ee/virtualcouch
Inside ACT for Anxiety Disorder Course is Open! Visit https://praxiscet.com/virtualcouch Inside ACT for Anxiety Disorders, Dr. Michael Twohig will teach you the industry-standard treatment used by anxiety-treatment experts around the world. Through 6 modules of clear instruction and clinical demonstrations, you will learn how to create opportunities for clients to practice psychological flexibility in the presence of anxiety.
After completing the course material, you'll have a new, highly effective anxiety treatment tool that can be used with every anxiety-related disorder, from OCD to panic disorder to generalized anxiety disorder.
And follow Tony on the Virtual Couch YouTube channel for a sneak preview of his upcoming podcast "Murder on the Couch," where True Crime meets therapy, co-hosted with his daughter Sydney. You can watch a pre-release clip here https://youtu.be/-RkRq8SrQy0
Subscribe to Tony's latest podcast, "Waking Up to Narcissism Q&A - Premium Podcast," on the Apple Podcast App. https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/waking-up-to-narcissism-q-a/id1667287384
Go to http://tonyoverbay.com/workshop to sign up for Tony's "Magnetize Your Marriage" virtual workshop. The cost is only $19, and you'll learn the top 3 things you can do NOW to create a Magnetic Marriage.
You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program, The Path Back, by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to receive updates on upcoming programs and podcasts.
Tony mentioned a product that he used to take out all of the "uh's" and "um's" that, in his words, "must be created by wizards and magic!" because it's that good! To learn more about Descript, click here https://descript.com?lmref=bSWcEQ
Tony sits down with graphic artist Mikenzi Mitchell to delve into her personal journey and creative process. Mikenzi reveals her fascination with Enneagrams and how they have helped her connect with her true self, navigate personal growth, and find validation within herself. They discuss her specific art categories, including women's portraits, diversity, spirituality, mental health, and the power of art to inspire others. Mikenzi's favorite project, designing Black History Month labels for Press Juicery, symbolizes both her struggle and pride in her work.
The conversation further explores the Enneagram as a tool for self-awareness and understanding motivations for personal growth. Tony and Mikenzi discuss different Enneagram types and their characteristics, shedding light on how they have recognized growth and stress points in their lives. They appreciate the importance of self-reflection, emotional maturity, and understanding one's Enneagram type can enhance relationships and help break free from codependency. Overall, this episode offers valuable insights into Mikenzi's authentic and uplifting artistic journey, intertwined with her exploration of the Enneagram, making it an essential listen for anyone interested in creativity and personal growth. You can find Mikenzi’s Instagram at https://www.instagram.com/kenzistudioco/ with links to her other projects. And you can sign up for Mackie Overbay and Tony’s new podcast, “The Mind, The Mirror & Me,” at https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-mind-the-mirror-me/id1701226687
To learn more about their project or make an investment, visit http://wefunder.com/toosoon and be a part of the change in independent filmmaking. You can find Jeff and Aurora on Instagram at the production company’s account @stnormajean as well as on their individual accounts @auroraflorence and @jeffdickamore and go check out the Dating After Death podcast Jeff and Aurora mentioned at https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/dating-after-death/id1614164834
To learn more about Tony's upcoming re-release of the Magnetic Marriage course, his Pathback Recovery course, and more, sign up for his newsletter through the link at https://linktr.ee/virtualcouch
Inside ACT for Anxiety Disorder Course is Open! Visit https://praxiscet.com/virtualcouch Inside ACT for Anxiety Disorders, Dr. Michael Twohig will teach you the industry-standard treatment used by anxiety-treatment experts around the world. Through 6 modules of clear instruction and clinical demonstrations, you will learn how to create opportunities for clients to practice psychological flexibility in the presence of anxiety.
After completing the course material, you'll have a new, highly effective anxiety treatment tool that can be used with every anxiety-related disorder, from OCD to panic disorder to generalized anxiety disorder.
And follow Tony on the Virtual Couch YouTube channel for a sneak preview of his upcoming podcast "Murder on the Couch," where True Crime meets therapy, co-hosted with his daughter Sydney. You can watch a pre-release clip here https://youtu.be/-RkRq8SrQy0
Subscribe to Tony's latest podcast, "Waking Up to Narcissism Q&A - Premium Podcast," on the Apple Podcast App. https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/waking-up-to-narcissism-q-a/id1667287384
Go to http://tonyoverbay.com/workshop to sign up for Tony's "Magnetize Your Marriage" virtual workshop. The cost is only $19, and you'll learn the top 3 things you can do NOW to create a Magnetic Marriage.
You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program, The Path Back, by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to receive updates on upcoming programs and podcasts.
Tony mentioned a product that he used to take out all of the "uh's" and "um's" that, in his words, "must be created by wizards and magic!" because it's that good! To learn more about Descript, click here https://descript.com?lmref=bSWcEQ
Tony welcomes his daughter Mackie Overbay, a licensed cosmetologist and new podcast host, to the Virtual Couch. They delve into the multifaceted parenting journey as children transition into new stages of life. They unpack the generational disconnect, emphasize the ever-changing relationship between technology and mental health, and stress the importance of understanding, adaptability, and open communication. An eye-opening discussion explores discomfort's role in self-confrontation, highlighting that with the right tools, every interaction can be an opportunity to self-confront and grow rather than driving a disconnect in relationships.
The conversation expands beyond conventional wisdom, offering fresh perspectives on building resilient parent-child relationships. Tony and Mackie explore how accepting emotional experiences, even when dysregulated, fosters safety and connection. They also advocate for consistency, mindfulness, and small daily actions to promote emotional well-being. Their engaging dialogue offers invaluable insights and practical advice for parents and individuals interested in strengthening their relationships and embracing personal growth, providing a roadmap for navigating the complex terrain of contemporary family life.
To learn more about Mackie and Tony's soon-to-be-released podcast: The Mind, The Mirror & Me, follow the link in Tony's linktree, or sign up for his newsletter. And to be the first to hear about Tony's upcoming re-release of the Magnetic Marriage course, his Pathback Recovery course, and more, sign up for his newsletter through the link at https://linktr.ee/virtualcouch
To learn more about Jeff Dickamore and Aurora Florence's crow-funded movie "Too Soon" from episode 386, visit http://wefunder.com/toosoon and be a part of the change in independent filmmaking. You can find Jeff and Aurora on Instagram at the production company’s account @stnormajean as well as on their individual accounts @auroraflorence and @jeffdickamore and go check out the Dating After Death podcast Jeff and Aurora mentioned at https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/dating-after-death/id1614164834
To learn more about Tony's upcoming re-release of the Magnetic Marriage course, his Pathback Recovery course, and more, sign up for his newsletter through the link at https://linktr.ee/virtualcouch
Inside ACT for Anxiety Disorder Course is Open! Visit https://praxiscet.com/virtualcouch Inside ACT for Anxiety Disorders, Dr. Michael Twohig will teach you the industry-standard treatment anxiety-treatment experts use worldwide. Through 6 modules of clear instruction and clinical demonstrations, you will learn how to create opportunities for clients to practice psychological flexibility in the presence of anxiety.
After completing the course material, you'll have a new, highly effective anxiety treatment tool that can be used with every anxiety-related disorder, from OCD to panic disorder to generalized anxiety disorder.
And follow Tony on the Virtual Couch YouTube channel for a sneak preview of his upcoming podcast "Murder on the Couch," where True Crime meets therapy, co-hosted with his daughter Sydney. You can watch a pre-release clip here https://youtu.be/-RkRq8SrQy0
Subscribe to Tony's latest podcast, "Waking Up to Narcissism Q&A - Premium Podcast," on the Apple Podcast App. https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/waking-up-to-narcissism-q-a/id1667287384
Go to http://tonyoverbay.com/workshop to sign up for Tony's "Magnetize Your Marriage" virtual workshop. The cost is only $19, and you'll learn the top 3 things you can do NOW to create a Magnetic Marriage.
You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program, The Path Back, by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to receive updates on upcoming programs and podcasts.
Tony mentioned a product that he used to take out all of the "uh's" and "um's" that, in his words, "must be created by wizards and magic!" because it's that good! To learn more about Descript, click here https://descript.com?lmref=bSWcEQ
In this candid episode of 'The Virtual Couch,' host Tony Overbay, LMFT, is joined by his colleague, Nate Christensen, APCC. Together, they dissect the trend highlighted in a recent article titled "U.S. Depression Rates Reach New Highs" https://news.gallup.com/poll/505745/depression-rates-reach-new-highs.aspx while discussing their theories and experiences dealing with mental health in their therapy practices. Tony starts by explaining his theory that the brain, constantly analyzing for threats, signals us through anxiety and depression that it's time to address negative aspects of our lives. Both Tony and Nate emphasize that these signals, as tough as they are, are not enemies but signs that push us toward positive changes.
The discussion then navigates through various types of depression, the prevalent causes, and contributing factors, shedding light on the increased depression rates despite an uptick in societal mental health awareness. Nate shares his experience of dealing with depression and anxiety, leading to an in-depth discussion about different therapy approaches, such as Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy (CBT) and Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT). Finally, they explore the benefits of medication and newer therapy forms, like psychedelic-assisted therapy. All throughout, the underlying message is clear: If you're struggling, seek help. You're not broken, you're human, and this journey is discovery and transformation.
To learn more about Tony's upcoming re-release of the Magnetic Marriage course, his Pathback Recovery course, and more, sign up for his newsletter through the link at https://linktr.ee/virtualcouch
To learn more about Jeff Dickamore and Aurora Florence's crow-funded movie "Too Soon" from episode 386, visit http://wefunder.com/toosoon and be a part of the change in independent filmmaking. You can find Jeff and Aurora on Instagram at the production company’s account @stnormajean as well as on their individual accounts @auroraflorence and @jeffdickamore and go check out the Dating After Death podcast Jeff and Aurora mentioned at https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/dating-after-death/id1614164834
To learn more about Tony's upcoming re-release of the Magnetic Marriage course, his Pathback Recovery course, and more, sign up for his newsletter through the link at https://linktr.ee/virtualcouch
Inside ACT for Anxiety Disorder Course is Open! Visit https://praxiscet.com/virtualcouch Inside ACT for Anxiety Disorders, Dr. Michael Twohig will teach you the industry-standard treatment anxiety-treatment experts use worldwide. Through 6 modules of clear instruction and clinical demonstrations, you will learn how to create opportunities for clients to practice psychological flexibility in the presence of anxiety.
After completing the course material, you'll have a new, highly effective anxiety treatment tool that can be used with every anxiety-related disorder, from OCD to panic disorder to generalized anxiety disorder.
And follow Tony on the Virtual Couch YouTube channel for a sneak preview of his upcoming podcast "Murder on the Couch," where True Crime meets therapy, co-hosted with his daughter Sydney. You can watch a pre-release clip here https://youtu.be/-RkRq8SrQy0
Subscribe to Tony's latest podcast, "Waking Up to Narcissism Q&A - Premium Podcast," on the Apple Podcast App. https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/waking-up-to-narcissism-q-a/id1667287384
Go to http://tonyoverbay.com/workshop to sign up for Tony's "Magnetize Your Marriage" virtual workshop. The cost is only $19, and you'll learn the top 3 things you can do NOW to create a Magnetic Marriage.
You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program, The Path Back, by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to receive updates on upcoming programs and podcasts.
Tony mentioned a product that he used to take out all of the "uh's" and "um's" that, in his words, "must be created by wizards and magic!" because it's that good! To learn more about Descript, click here https://descript.com?lmref=bSWcEQ
Join host Tony Overbay, LMFT, on The Virtual Couch podcast as he sits down with filmmakers Aurora Florence and Jeff Dickamore, the creative minds behind the groundbreaking romantic comedy, "Too Soon." In this captivating episode, they delve into the making of their film, their unique funding approach through WeFunder, and their vision to redefine the independent film landscape.
"Too Soon," tells the story of a young widow and widower who cross paths on the day of their spouses' funerals. Jeff and Aurora share their passion for creating a film that defies conventions and tackles themes of love, grief, and personal growth with authenticity. By raising funding through WeFunder, they aim to secure top talent and distribution deals and bring their impactful project to as many viewers as possible.
During their conversation, they explore the challenges independent filmmakers face in finding an audience and distribution opportunities in hopes of expanding the movie’s reach to foster meaningful conversations around grief and healing.
Discover the filmmakers' journey as they discuss their belief in democratizing the film industry by involving everyday people in the investment process. By allowing individuals to invest as little as $100 and become part-owners of the film, Jeff and Aurora challenge the notion that investing in the movie-making process is reserved for the wealthy. Their goal is not only to create a thought-provoking film but also to empower viewers and redefine the boundaries of independent filmmaking.
Prepare to be captivated by the fresh and unconventional take on the romantic comedy genre presented by "Too Soon." Through authentic portrayals of grief, personal growth, and the complexities of moving on, this film hopes to deeply resonate with not only those directly impacted by the death of a loved one but essentially everyone unsure or uncertain of how to show up for those around them who may be dealing with grief and loss. Jeff and Aurora express their gratitude for the support they've received from the grief community, recognizing the importance of open conversations surrounding death and grief.
Don't miss this inspiring episode of The Virtual Couch podcast. Jeff Dickamore and Aurora Florence share their creative vision, dedication, and the meaningful impact they hope to make with "Too Soon." To learn more about their project or make an investment, visit http://wefunder.com/toosoon and be a part of the change in independent filmmaking. You can find Jeff and Aurora on Instagram at the production company’s account @stnormajean as well as on their individual accounts @auroraflorence and @jeffdickamore and go check out the Dating After Death podcast Jeff and Aurora mentioned at https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/dating-after-death/id1614164834
To learn more about Tony's upcoming re-release of the Magnetic Marriage course, sign up for his newsletter through the link at https://linktr.ee/virtualcouch
Inside ACT for Anxiety Disorder Course is Open! Visit https://praxiscet.com/virtualcouch Inside ACT for Anxiety Disorders, Dr. Michael Twohig will teach you the industry-standard treatment used by anxiety-treatment experts around the world. Through 6 modules of clear instruction and clinical demonstrations, you will learn how to create opportunities for clients to practice psychological flexibility in the presence of anxiety.
After completing the course material, you'll have a new, highly effective anxiety treatment tool that can be used with every anxiety-related disorder, from OCD to panic disorder to generalized anxiety disorder.
And follow Tony on the Virtual Couch YouTube channel for a sneak preview of his upcoming podcast "Murder on the Couch," where True Crime meets therapy, co-hosted with his daughter Sydney. You can watch a pre-release clip here https://youtu.be/-RkRq8SrQy0
Subscribe to Tony's latest podcast, "Waking Up to Narcissism Q&A - Premium Podcast," on the Apple Podcast App. https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/waking-up-to-narcissism-q-a/id1667287384
Go to http://tonyoverbay.com/workshop to sign up for Tony's "Magnetize Your Marriage" virtual workshop. The cost is only $19, and you'll learn the top 3 things you can do NOW to create a Magnetic Marriage.
You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program, The Path Back, by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to receive updates on upcoming programs and podcasts.
Tony mentioned a product that he used to take out all of the "uh's" and "um's" that, in his words, "must be created by wizards and magic!" because it's that good! To learn more about Descript, click here https://descript.com?lmref=bSWcEQ
Tony Overbay, LMFT, delves into his Four Pillars of a Connected Conversation and introduces the acronym BASE to help listeners better remember the pillars during conversations. He also shares a new "pre-pillar" or becoming more grounded before entering the 4 pillar framework. The "pre-pillar" is based on Marshall Rosenberg's Nonviolent Communication, emphasizing the need to discern concrete observations from subjective judgments.
The BASE acronym is Benefit of the Doubt, Accept Their Perspective, Seek First to Understand, and Embrace the Conversation. These foundational pillars, when applied, can revolutionize how we communicate, fostering deeper connections and healthier relationships. Tony concludes the episode by addressing the challenge of observing ineffective communication in others and providing insights on navigating these situations. Tune in and transform the way you converse and connect.
To learn more about Tony's upcoming re-release of the Magnetic Marriage course, sign up for his newsletter through the link at https://linktr.ee/virtualcouch
Inside ACT for Anxiety Disorder Course is Open! Visit https://praxiscet.com/virtualcouch Inside ACT for Anxiety Disorders, Dr. Michael Twohig will teach you the industry-standard treatment used by anxiety-treatment experts around the world. Through 6 modules of clear instruction and clinical demonstrations, you will learn how to create opportunities for clients to practice psychological flexibility in the presence of anxiety.
After completing the course material, you'll have a new, highly effective anxiety treatment tool that can be used with every anxiety-related disorder, from OCD to panic disorder to generalized anxiety disorder.
And follow Tony on the Virtual Couch YouTube channel for a sneak preview of his upcoming podcast "Murder on the Couch," where True Crime meets therapy, co-hosted with his daughter Sydney. You can watch a pre-release clip here https://youtu.be/-RkRq8SrQy0
Subscribe to Tony's latest podcast, "Waking Up to Narcissism Q&A - Premium Podcast," on the Apple Podcast App. https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/waking-up-to-narcissism-q-a/id1667287384
Go to http://tonyoverbay.com/workshop to sign up for Tony's "Magnetize Your Marriage" virtual workshop. The cost is only $19, and you'll learn the top 3 things you can do NOW to create a Magnetic Marriage.
You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program, The Path Back, by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to receive updates on upcoming programs and podcasts.
Tony mentioned a product that he used to take out all of the "uh's" and "um's" that, in his words, "must be created by wizards and magic!" because it's that good! To learn more about Descript, click here https://descript.com?lmref=bSWcEQ
Author Dana Killion joins Tony to discuss her memoir “Where the Shadows Dance,” available for pre-order at https://amzn.to/3yR0gIp Dana’s story is born of a life in turmoil and her husband’s addiction, a situation where the only way through was to write it. And as she wrote, the themes of her personal trauma became clear and loud. They screamed for attention because they are the themes of many women, not just women with an addict in their life, but women who have been silent and have set aside their truth for the benefit of another. Women who are ready to find the strength and solace Dana has found through her reinvention. Tony and Dana discuss similarities in Dana’s story with those of the women and men who find themselves in relationships with emotionally immature or narcissistic people in their lives and how vital the need for self-care and listening to one's instincts can literally be life-saving.
Dana Killion is the author of several fiction books in the mystery/thriller/suspense category, including the Andrea Kellner series “Lies in High Places” https://amzn.to/3FzQQF7 “The Last Lie” https://amzn.to/3yPhqGn and her latest offering, her memoir “Where the Shadows Dance” which can be pre-ordered on Amazon at https://amzn.to/3yR0gIp
And follow Tony on the Virtual Couch YouTube channel for a sneak preview of his upcoming podcast "Murder on the Couch," where True Crime meets therapy, co-hosted with his daughter Sydney. You can watch a pre-release clip here https://youtu.be/-RkRq8SrQy0
Subscribe to Tony's latest podcast, "Waking Up to Narcissism Q&A - Premium Podcast," on the Apple Podcast App.
https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/waking-up-to-narcissism-q-a/id1667287384
Go to http://tonyoverbay.com/workshop to sign up for Tony's "Magnetize Your Marriage" virtual workshop. The cost is only $19, and you'll learn the top 3 things you can do NOW to create a Magnetic Marriage.
You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program, The Path Back, by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to receive updates on upcoming programs and podcasts.
Tony mentioned a product that he used to take out all of the "uh's" and "um's" that, in his words, "must be created by wizards and magic!" because it's that good! To learn more about Descript, click here https://descript.com?lmref=bSWcEQ
Transcript
Tony: Dana Killian, welcome to, and as I was sharing with you before, probably the Virtual Couch, Waking Up to Narcissism, I have a true crime meets therapy podcast, and I feel like your story's so good, I think that, welcome, welcome to the Virtual Couch Network. Let's put it that way.
Dana: Thank you so much. I'm thrilled to be here.
Tony: Yeah, it's nice to have you and my audience will know that I really like to just kind of go back and forth, but I actually wrote questions because I just feel like your story is so fascinating and there's something that I actually heard in another interview that you gave where you talked about you were journaling in addition to therapy. So there's a part of me that wants to just ease into your story but, as a therapist, I applaud you for journaling, and I'm curious, what was that process like and how did it differ from how you write fiction novels as well?
Dana: I do. Yeah. Journaling was something I wasn't immediately drawn to. I had a therapist suggest it and my first reaction was horror.
Tony: Tell me why. What, what came up for you?
Dana: I was still at that place, at that point of the fear of being discovered, my internal thoughts. I was still in the marriage at this point. I was still going through a great deal of pain and I wasn't ready to share. And I felt that journal would be discovered. And so it was a scary thing for me, but later on, I was in a different place. I was in a place of such emptiness that therapy was fine, but it really wasn't getting loosened up,
Tony interviews filmmaker Reed Harkness, the film Sam Now's director and co-star. From reviewer Matt Zoller Seitz, “Sam Now" is a gentle, empathetic movie that will be unbearably intense for viewers who fear abandonment. However, that might prove to be healing or enlightening if they can stick with it to the end. Constructed of home movies and family interviews spanning 24 years, director Reed Harkness' documentary tells a painful and complicated story from his own life: his stepmother Jois (pronounced "Joyce") disappeared one day in 2000 without warning or any further contact or explanation. Even though they were separated, her leaving shocked her husband Randy; their sons Sam and Jared, who were in elementary school then; and Reed, then a teenager.” https://www.rogerebert.com/reviews/sam-now-movie-review-2023
Tony and Reed explore the lifelong impacts of childhood abandonment, manifesting in Sam and Reed’s adult lives. Jois’ absence, and the subsequent revelation that it was her choice, left them wrestling with emotional wounds and damaged family dynamics. Tony explores about their Jois’ behavior, considering whether her actions might be symptomatic of extreme emotional immaturity or narcissistic tendencies. Reed shares how each family member's different reactions and coping mechanisms further complicate the dynamics and negatively impact their relationships. Reed and Tony continue to come back to the topic of what we do with our discomfort as individuals and within a family system.
Reid emphasized his interest in exploring these family dynamics and the importance of addressing uncomfortable issues, a theme deeply ingrained in his films. Despite the potential divisions it might have caused, Reid highlighted filmmaking's pivotal role in bridging the gap between him and Sam. The conversation concluded with a nod towards the therapeutic potential of open dialogue and the shared goal of effecting positive change through their respective fields.
Use coupon code CRAIG to receive $100 off The Path Back for a limited time. You can sign up directly here https://www.thepathback.org/offers/zF7ogLZZ?coupon_code=CRAIG
Use the following code to purchase the 2023 Sex Summit for only $35 featuring Tony's presentation: Relationship Tools You Don't Know You Need - Tips and Tools Born From 15 Years of Practice w/1500 Couples. https://thedatingdivas.myshopify.com/discount/TONY23?redirect=%2Fproducts%2Fsex-seminar-2023
Or use the following code to purchase 2020, 2021, 2023, and 2024 seminars for only $80: https://thedatingdivas.myshopify.com/discount/TONYBUNDLE23?redirect=%2Fproducts%2Fsex-seminar-2023-bundle
Find all the latest links to podcasts, courses, Tony's newsletter, and more at https://linktr.ee/virtualcouch
Inside ACT for Anxiety Disorder Course is Open! Visit https://praxiscet.com/virtualcouch Inside ACT for Anxiety Disorders, Dr. Michael Twohig will teach you the industry-standard treatment used by anxiety-treatment experts around the world. Through 6 modules of clear instruction and clinical demonstrations, you will learn how to create opportunities for clients to practice psychological flexibility in the presence of anxiety.
After completing the course material, you'll have a new, highly effective anxiety treatment tool that can be used with every anxiety-related disorder, from OCD to panic disorder to generalized anxiety disorder.
And follow Tony on the Virtual Couch YouTube channel for a sneak preview of his upcoming podcast "Murder on the Couch," where True Crime meets therapy, co-hosted with his daughter Sydney. You can watch a pre-release clip here https://youtu.be/-RkRq8SrQy0
Subscribe to Tony's latest podcast, "Waking Up to Narcissism Q&A - Premium Podcast," on the Apple Podcast App. https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/waking-up-to-narcissism-q-a/id1667287384
Go to http://tonyoverbay.com/workshop to sign up for Tony's "Magnetize Your Marriage" virtual workshop. The cost is only $19, and you'll learn the top 3 things you can do NOW to create a Magnetic Marriage.
You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program, The Path Back, by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to receive updates on upcoming programs and podcasts.
Tony mentioned a product that he used to take out all of the "uh's" and "um's" that, in his words, "must be created by wizards and magic!" because it's that good! To learn more about Descript, click here https://descript.com?lmref=bSWcEQ
Today’s episode is part 2 of 2 on dealing with the concepts around discomfort and certainty. In episode 1, Tony broke down the importance of acknowledging and feeling our emotions without judgment, reminding us that this is key for our mental health. He emphasized the mindful experience of emotions and thoughts, steering clear of allowing them to call the shots in our decisions and actions. This time around, we're diving deep into the concept of rumination - that exhausting cycle of negative thinking that has us stuck in problem mode without actually problem-solving. Sound familiar? Tony also introduces the idea of signal anxiety, an early alert for the emotional danger that can trigger defense mechanisms like denial and displacement.
Tony discusses the challenges of unmasking our true feelings rather than hiding behind our anxiety. He passionately proposes a more authentic, purpose-driven life to alleviate the symptoms that may arise when we sidestep our emotional needs. He then unpacks the defense mechanisms of displacement and projection, commonly used to manage those uncomfortable feelings we all know too well. Remember Lucy, the marketing manager we mentioned last time? Tony illustrates how her work stress bled into her personal life, causing strain and highlighting the issue of displacement. He advises us to recognize such problems and seek help to tackle the root cause, suggesting mentor support, therapy, and self-care as effective strategies. Then he delves into projection, offering up examples from the workplace and even touching on narcissistic projection, common in individuals who grapple with self-reflection and fear abandonment. Lastly, Tony talks about the book "On Being Certain," shedding light on the neuroscience behind our feelings of certainty and the stubbornness they can sometimes breed. Trust us, you won't want to miss this!
Use coupon code CRAIG to receive $100 off The Path Back for a limited time. You can sign up directly here https://www.thepathback.org/offers/zF7ogLZZ?coupon_code=CRAIG
Use the following code to purchase the 2023 Sex Summit for only $35 featuring Tony's presentation: Relationship Tools You Don't Know You Need - Tips and Tools Born From 15 Years of Practice w/1500 Couples. https://thedatingdivas.myshopify.com/discount/TONY23?redirect=%2Fproducts%2Fsex-seminar-2023
Or use the following code to purchase 2020, 2021, 2023, and 2024 seminars for only $80: https://thedatingdivas.myshopify.com/discount/TONYBUNDLE23?redirect=%2Fproducts%2Fsex-seminar-2023-bundle
Find all the latest links to podcasts, courses, Tony's newsletter, and more at https://linktr.ee/virtualcouch
Inside ACT for Anxiety Disorder Course is Open! Visit https://praxiscet.com/virtualcouch Inside ACT for Anxiety Disorders; Dr. Michael Twohig will teach you the industry-standard treatment used by anxiety-treatment experts around the world. Through 6 modules of clear instruction and clinical demonstrations, you will learn how to create opportunities for clients to practice psychological flexibility in the presence of anxiety.
After completing the course material, you'll have a new, highly effective anxiety treatment tool that can be used with every anxiety-related disorder, from OCD to panic disorder to generalized anxiety disorder.
And follow Tony on the Virtual Couch YouTube channel to see a sneak preview of his upcoming podcast "Murder on the Couch," where True Crime meets therapy, co-hosted with his daughter Sydney. You can watch a pre-release clip here https://youtu.be/-RkRq8SrQy0
Subscribe to Tony's latest podcast, "Waking Up to Narcissism Q&A - Premium Podcast," on the Apple Podcast App. https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/waking-up-to-narcissism-q-a/id1667287384
Go to http://tonyoverbay.com/workshop to sign up for Tony's "Magnetize Your Marriage" virtual workshop. The cost is only $19, and you'll learn the top 3 things you can do NOW to create a Magnetic Marriage.
You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program, The Path Back, by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to receive updates on upcoming programs and podcasts.
Tony mentioned a product that he used to take out all of the "uh's" and "um's" that, in his words, "must be created by wizards and magic!" because it's that good! To learn more about Descript, click here https://descript.com?lmref=bSWcEQ
Tony shares some sad news about the loss of his friend and colleague, Shawna Roberts. She was the one who introduced him to today's guest, Craig Perra. Craig is the creator of The Mindful Habit System https://www.themindfulhabit.com/, a life-changing approach that has helped countless people build healthier relationships, develop healthy sexuality, and finally live the lives they've always wanted but thought were out of reach.
Craig opens up about his own battles with addiction, particularly compulsive pornography and sexual behavior, and his road to recovery that led him to create The Mindful Habit System. Tony's a big fan of this approach because it focuses on building strength rather than simply treating disease, and it's inspired him to create his own program, The Path Back.
The main theme of the episode is how we can get stuck in negative behaviors and see ourselves in a bad light and how shame and conditioning can affect addiction and relationships. Both Tony and Craig emphasize that it's crucial to understand and accept all parts of ourselves with compassion instead of being hard on ourselves.
They also chat about the benefits of integrating coaching into therapy, which helps therapists and clients build stronger relationships and achieve better results. They touch on the importance of valuing ourselves from within and helping people realize their own potential rather than relying on external validation.
Tony and Craig also share their unique experiences on reality shows about digital addiction and porn, giving them an insight that they wouldn't otherwise have. Craig remembers Shawna and the work they did together for the LDS community to help with porn addiction.
To wrap up, they reflect on how far they've come, the impact of The Path Back program, and their plans for the future, including the exciting possibility of therapist coaching. The chat gives listeners a deep understanding of how a strength-based approach to recovery, the role of internal family systems therapy, and self-perception are key to healing and personal growth.
Use coupon code CRAIG to receive $100 off The Path Back for a limited time. You can sign up directly here https://www.thepathback.org/offers/zF7ogLZZ?coupon_code=CRAIG
Use the following code to purchase the 2023 Sex Summit for only $35 featuring Tony's presentation: Relationship Tools You Don't Know You Need - Tips and Tools Born From 15 Years of Practice w/1500 Couples. https://thedatingdivas.myshopify.com/discount/TONY23?redirect=%2Fproducts%2Fsex-seminar-2023
Or use the following code to purchase 2020, 2021, 2023, and 2024 seminars for only $80: https://thedatingdivas.myshopify.com/discount/TONYBUNDLE23?redirect=%2Fproducts%2Fsex-seminar-2023-bundle
Find all the latest links to podcasts, courses, Tony's newsletter, and more at https://linktr.ee/virtualcouch
Inside ACT for Anxiety Disorder Course is Open! Visit https://praxiscet.com/virtualcouch Inside ACT for Anxiety Disorders; Dr. Michael Twohig will teach you the industry-standard treatment used by anxiety-treatment experts around the world. Through 6 modules of clear instruction and clinical demonstrations, you will learn how to create opportunities for clients to practice psychological flexibility in the presence of anxiety.
After completing the course material, you'll have a new, highly effective anxiety treatment tool that can be used with every anxiety-related disorder, from OCD to panic disorder to generalized anxiety disorder.
And follow Tony on the Virtual Couch YouTube channel to see a sneak preview of his upcoming podcast "Murder on the Couch," where True Crime meets therapy, co-hosted with his daughter Sydney. You can watch a pre-release clip here https://youtu.be/-RkRq8SrQy0
Subscribe to Tony's latest podcast, "Waking Up to Narcissism Q&A - Premium Podcast," on the Apple Podcast App. https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/waking-up-to-narcissism-q-a/id1667287384
Go to http://tonyoverbay.com/workshop to sign up for Tony's "Magnetize Your Marriage" virtual workshop. The cost is only $19, and you'll learn the top 3 things you can do NOW to create a Magnetic Marriage.
You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program, The Path Back, by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to receive updates on upcoming programs and podcasts.
Tony mentioned a product that he used to take out all of the "uh's" and "um's" that, in his words, "must be created by wizards and magic!" because it's that good! To learn more about Descript, click here https://descript.com?lmref=bSWcEQ
Duff and Keirra Dyer join Tony to share a deeply vulnerable story of their daughter Emma's loss and their journey of unconditional love, parenting, and resilience through the toughest of times. They open up about Emma's early struggles with pornography, the challenges that led them to send her to rehab, and the profound impact it had on Emma and their entire family. Amidst the unwavering love they have for their daughter, they also express feelings of helplessness as they witnessed extended periods of recovery followed by relapses. Despite enduring a heart-wrenching experience no family should endure, they find solace in the valuable lessons Emma's passing has taught them, including the bittersweet emotions they encountered while attempting to donate her organs to those in need. The Dyers are dedicated to sharing their story and supporting others. Feel free to send any questions or comments to contact@tonyoverbay.com.
Find all the latest links to podcasts, courses, Tony's newsletter, and more at https://linktr.ee/virtualcouch
Inside ACT for Anxiety Disorder Course is Open! Visit https://praxiscet.com/virtualcouch Inside ACT for Anxiety Disorders; Dr. Michael Twohig will teach you the industry-standard treatment used by anxiety-treatment experts around the world. Through 6 modules of clear instruction and clinical demonstrations, you will learn how to create opportunities for clients to practice psychological flexibility in the presence of anxiety.
After completing the course material, you'll have a new, highly effective anxiety treatment tool that can be used with every anxiety-related disorder, from OCD to panic disorder to generalized anxiety disorder.
And follow Tony on the Virtual Couch YouTube channel to see a sneak preview of his upcoming podcast "Murder on the Couch," where True Crime meets therapy, co-hosted with his daughter Sydney. You can watch a pre-release clip here https://youtu.be/-RkRq8SrQy0
Subscribe to Tony's latest podcast, "Waking Up to Narcissism Q&A - Premium Podcast," on the Apple Podcast App. https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/waking-up-to-narcissism-q-a/id1667287384
Go to http://tonyoverbay.com/workshop to sign up for Tony's "Magnetize Your Marriage" virtual workshop. The cost is only $19, and you'll learn the top 3 things you can do NOW to create a Magnetic Marriage.
You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program, The Path Back, by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to receive updates on upcoming programs and podcasts.
Tony mentioned a product that he used to take out all of the "uh's" and "um's" that, in his words, "must be created by wizards and magic!" because it's that good! To learn more about Descript, click here https://descript.com?lmref=bSWcEQ
In today’s episode, Tony embarks on a fascinating exploration of the human mind's seemingly paradoxical inclinations. Our discussion begins with an intriguing investigation of "flashbulb memories." These vividly retained images we perceive as absolute recollections, despite their inherent inaccuracies, underline the intricate dance our brain does with reality.
Tony delves into the nuances of memory, discussing the pitfalls of over-reliance on our recollections, and highlights how our brain's striving for precision and certainty can often lead us astray. With a stunning lack of real-world certainty, our minds attempt to construct a stable, reassuring worldview, yet, in reality, this is often an exercise in futility.
This drive for certainty, unfortunately, carries with it a tremendous amount of discomfort, given the inherently uncertain nature of life. Tony paints a vivid picture of how our minds, in a well-intentioned but misguided effort, try to avoid discomfort at all costs. This avoidance strategy may lead us down the path of unhealthy coping mechanisms, potentially compromising our overall well-being.
This episode invites listeners to challenge their perceptions and redefine their relationship with thoughts and feelings. Rather than treating each thought or feeling as deeply significant, Tony suggests that we consider them transient passengers in our minds, coming and going throughout the day, hour, or even minute.
"Bless our brain's pink, squishy heart," Tony exclaims in this engaging discussion, "it craves certainty, abhors discomfort, and staunchly believes it possesses the memory of an elephant!" Yet, as he highlights, we often struggle against these default settings in our lifelong quest for peace and happiness. By understanding these natural tendencies and consciously adjusting our responses, we open ourselves to profound personal growth and a deeper sense of inner peace.
Use the following code to purchase the 2023 Sex Summit for only $35 featuring Tony's presentation: Relationship Tools You Don't Know You Need - Tips and Tools Born From 15 Years of Practice w/1500 Couples. https://thedatingdivas.myshopify.com/discount/TONY23?redirect=%2Fproducts%2Fsex-seminar-2023
Or use the following code to purchase 2020, 2021, 2023, and 2024 seminars for only $80: https://thedatingdivas.myshopify.com/discount/TONYBUNDLE23?redirect=%2Fproducts%2Fsex-seminar-2023-bundle
Find all the latest links to podcasts, courses, Tony's newsletter, and more at https://linktr.ee/virtualcouch
Inside ACT for Anxiety Disorder Course is Open! Visit https://praxiscet.com/virtualcouch Inside ACT for Anxiety Disorders; Dr. Michael Twohig will teach you the industry-standard treatment used by anxiety-treatment experts around the world. Through 6 modules of clear instruction and clinical demonstrations, you will learn how to create opportunities for clients to practice psychological flexibility in the presence of anxiety.
After completing the course material, you'll have a new, highly effective anxiety treatment tool that can be used with every anxiety-related disorder, from OCD to panic disorder to generalized anxiety disorder.
And follow Tony on the Virtual Couch YouTube channel to see a sneak preview of his upcoming podcast "Murder on the Couch," where True Crime meets therapy, co-hosted with his daughter Sydney. You can watch a pre-release clip here https://youtu.be/-RkRq8SrQy0
Subscribe to Tony's latest podcast, "Waking Up to Narcissism Q&A - Premium Podcast," on the Apple Podcast App. https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/waking-up-to-narcissism-q-a/id1667287384
Go to http://tonyoverbay.com/workshop to sign up for Tony's "Magnetize Your Marriage" virtual workshop. The cost is only $19, and you'll learn the top 3 things you can do NOW to create a Magnetic Marriage.
You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program, The Path Back, by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to receive updates on upcoming programs and podcasts.
Tony mentioned a product that he used to take out all of the "uh's" and "um's" that, in his words, "must be created by wizards and magic!" because it's that good! To learn more about Descript, click here https://descript.com?lmref=bSWcEQ
Just a few days ago, my friend and former colleague Shauna Roberts, LMFT, suffered an A-Com Aneurysm - a swelling within the anterior communicating artery in the brain that has ruptured.
From her daughter, “Miraculously, she made it past emergency surgery where they, amongst other things, put in a coil stint to stop the bleeding. She is currently intubated at St. Luke’s in Boise, where her body is sedated.
Her Neurosurgeons have told us it is a miracle that she made it to surgery, to begin with, which we are counting as one of many miracles from God. They are cautiously optimistic in her recovery based on some very small signs, but we have a long road ahead of us. We specifically are in a very fragile 10-day period where her care team is working to prevent further strokes and brain damage.
She has not woken up, and we do not know when she will or what will happen when she does, but our family firmly believes that our Heavenly Father is in control, and we are hopeful that when she does wake up, she will be on the road to recovery.
My mom will need a lot of prayers, and I ask that everyone who knows and loves her please join us in doing so. If you would like to send a message of support to Shauna and her family, please do so to contact@tonyoverbay.com, and I will forward them to her.
Use the following code to purchase the 2023 Sex Summit for only $35 featuring Tony's presentation: Relationship Tools You Don't Know You Need - Tips and Tools Born From 15 Years of Practice w/1500 Couples. https://thedatingdivas.myshopify.com/discount/TONY23?redirect=%2Fproducts%2Fsex-seminar-2023
Or use the following code to purchase 2020, 2021, 2023, and 2024 seminars for only $80: https://thedatingdivas.myshopify.com/discount/TONYBUNDLE23?redirect=%2Fproducts%2Fsex-seminar-2023-bundle
Find all the latest links to podcasts, courses, Tony's newsletter, and more at https://linktr.ee/virtualcouch
Inside ACT for Anxiety Disorder Course is Open! Visit https://praxiscet.com/virtualcouch Inside ACT for Anxiety Disorders; Dr. Michael Twohig will teach you the industry-standard treatment used by anxiety-treatment experts around the world. Through 6 modules of clear instruction and clinical demonstrations, you will learn how to create opportunities for clients to practice psychological flexibility in the presence of anxiety.
After completing the course material, you'll have a new, highly effective anxiety treatment tool that can be used with every anxiety-related disorder, from OCD to panic disorder to generalized anxiety disorder.
And follow Tony on the Virtual Couch YouTube channel to see a sneak preview of his upcoming podcast "Murder on the Couch," where True Crime meets therapy, co-hosted with his daughter Sydney. You can watch a pre-release clip here https://youtu.be/-RkRq8SrQy0
Subscribe to Tony's latest podcast, "Waking Up to Narcissism Q&A - Premium Podcast," on the Apple Podcast App. https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/waking-up-to-narcissism-q-a/id1667287384
Go to http://tonyoverbay.com/workshop to sign up for Tony's "Magnetize Your Marriage" virtual workshop. The cost is only $19, and you'll learn the top 3 things you can do NOW to create a Magnetic Marriage.
You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program, The Path Back, by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to receive updates on upcoming programs and podcasts.
Tony mentioned a product that he used to take out all of the "uh's" and "um's" that, in his words, "must be created by wizards and magic!" because it's that good! To learn more about Descript, click here https://descript.com?lmref=bSWcEQ
When asked if Tony had a podcast to refer to people who were moderately interested in learning about narcissism, he said, "of course I do!" And then he couldn't find one. This episode is for those of you who want to try and explain your situation to people you care about who want to know but who a) don't know what they don't know, b) you worry that without a bit of background, they will throw judgment your way and c) don't want to spend a lot of time researching something that they don't believe that they've experienced in their own relationships. Tony references “17 Signs That You’re in a Narcissistic Marriage or Relationship” by Arlin Cunic, medically reviewed by Ivy Kwong LMFT
https://www.verywellmind.com/signs-you-re-married-to-a-narcissist-5208165
And follow Tony on the Virtual Couch YouTube channel for a sneak preview of his upcoming podcast "Murder on the Couch," where True Crime meets therapy, co-hosted with his daughter Sydney. You can watch a pre-release clip here https://youtu.be/-RkRq8SrQy0
Subscribe to Tony's latest podcast, "Waking Up to Narcissism Q&A - Premium Podcast," on the Apple Podcast App. https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/waking-up-to-narcissism-q-a/id1667287384
Go to http://tonyoverbay.com/workshop to sign up for Tony's "Magnetize Your Marriage" virtual workshop. The cost is only $19, and you'll learn the top 3 things you can do NOW to create a Magnetic Marriage.
You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program, The Path Back, by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to receive updates on upcoming programs and podcasts.
Tony mentioned a product that he used to take out all of the "uh's" and "um's" that, in his words, "must be created by wizards and magic!" because it's that good! To learn more about Descript, click here https://descript.com?lmref=bSWcEQ
Episode 64 Transcript
Hey everybody. Welcome to episode 64 of Waking Up to Narcissism. I am your host, Tony Overbay. I'm a licensed marriage and family therapist and host of the Virtual Couch Podcast, creator of the Magnetic Marriage Program, which is getting a revamp here in the next month or two. So if you want to find out more about the Magnetic Marriage Course, I've got an online pornography recovery program called The Path Back. There's a Magnetic Marriage Workshop, which is a $19, 90 minute, all the things you didn't know, you didn't know about your relationship that is available. Some new podcasts are coming out, one based off of a book about addiction that I co-authored with a gentleman named Joshua Shea and an upcoming podcast called Murder on the Couch, which is psychology and therapy meets true crime. So just the easiest way to find out about all those things. Oh, and we're here on Waking Up to Narcissism and the Waking Up to Narcissism Premium question and answer Apple Podcast is now available and you can find that, it's specifically on the Apple Podcast platform, and I will have links to everything in the show notes. And there's a link called a link tree that you can go to that will have everything you can find there as well. Sign up for the newsletter. I think that's the quickest way to get all the content that is going out.
Someone reached out a while ago, and they just said, hey, do you have a podcast episode that you recommend for people to start with who don't know anything about narcissism or what a relationship with a narcissist or an emotionally immature person looks like. And as I traded messages with this person they went on to say that they had been out of their emotionally immature, narcissistic relationship for a while, and as they were starting to heal, they were starting to be a little bit more open with the people they felt safe with. And those people still, even the people that they really felt like were more than just Switzerland friends, were saying, well, tell me, tell me what that's like because I don't know, I don't know what to look like. I don't know really how to support you moving forward, which I'll, I appreciate that. And the person said well, first I responded and just caught me in a real good time and I said, I do, I absolutely have this. Let me look at the Waking Up to Narcissism episodes, I said, I swear I've tried to cover this on a couple of different episodes and I will get back to you. And then I did, I spent some time looking and then I responded again and said, okay, so I have episodes about who you can tell, how to interact with people who don't know that they are in a narcissistic relationship. But I did not see what I was looking for at first glance. So I think I need to actually do one.
So I said don't have one planned. So I'll get it, so then this person responded back and they said, okay, no worries. And they said they just had a lot of people who don't necessarily want to invest tons of time reading or listening to a lot of things, but they still would be interested and they want to support others. Just this person said a basic overview of the most important things to know might really help people understand. And they said that they typically point the people to the death by a thousand cuts episodes, and those by far are the episodes that have the most views. But I do feel like if someone, it will help someone get a little bit of an overview of what that would look like. But if a person is not in that relationship or has been in a relationship with the emotionally immature, it can still feel like you're being a bit petty if you are saying, well, here's a thousand little ways that they just annoy me because I find that the person who has not been in that situation, almost their first response is gonna be a yeah, but. Well, yeah, but have you ever been really honest or, yeah, but have you tried or, yeah, but have you looked at maybe some of the things that you're doing and then all of a sudden they move back into that category of a Switzerland friend. So this took me on an interesting ride of trying to find out the best content or identify the best content that I can share to then give someone that is just now tuning a better understanding of maybe what their friend is going through or maybe somebody in their family is going through as are leaving a narcissistic or emotionally immature relationship.
I started Googling how can you, I don't even remember what I started googling with this, but what do you tell people to explain that you are coming out of a narcissistic relationship? That is exactly not what I Googled, but I really spent some time because I had assumed that I had an episode on this and I came to the realization that it's a hard thing to cover with the other experts that are out as well, because if you are trying to explain what narcissism is in a nutshell to people that, number one probably don't really either they don't care and not saying that in a negative way, but that just hasn't been part of their vocabulary, part of their world and quite frankly, I know that people feel like the term narcissism is overused right now, and it is. It's being used a lot, which is why I've also made that shift to narcissism and emotional immaturity. I think that's pretty significant, but if you aren't in the relationship, it's one of those. I think here's another thing, another hashtag you can see on TikTok or any social media app, if you know, you know, so if you know what emotional immaturity and narcissism really is, it's because you're most likely in that in a relationship with someone that exhibits those traits and tendencies. And if you are not, you don't know what you don't know. So then if somebody is saying to you, hey, my marriage ended and it's and I trust you, and it's because I've got my PhD in gas lighting I think the person would literally say, I didn't even know you went back to, or if you want to then share something, this is that concept where when we are given something to observe, we also immediately throw a judgment in there.
So as soon as somebody says, well, I was, I'm coming out of a narcissistic relationship. The other person's immediate response is they're gonna view things from their own lens and they are going to observe what you're saying and they're gonna create a judgment in that very moment just to try to make sense of things for them or to ease their own anxiety because if they now feel like that you even just saying that are somehow implying that, well, how could you not have known it would've helped if I would've had your support earlier, which is not what you're saying, then that person receiving that information, they may say, well, I mean that that's a real strong term. Or, well, I think everybody kind of throws out that term, says the person who just needed to throw out a judgment along with their observation. And so that again, is why even when you're trying to share with people that you think are safe, it can feel unsafe. Here's the direction that I think is going to make the most sense, I found an article and it's from verywellmind.com. I like that site. And it is “17 signs that you are in a narcissistic marriage or a relationship”, it's by Arlen Kuk and it's medically reviewed by Ivy K Quang, who's a LMFT, like myself. And the reason I think that this is the angle to go is because I could not find an article that just perfectly addressed the question that this person had sent. So we're gonna go over these 17 signs, and I'm gonna give some concepts coming from a point of where I'm gonna assume that if you are listening to this, it's that somebody's maybe asked you to listen to this or you really are trying to understand emotional immaturity or narcissism.
So I'm gonna read a bit from this article and then I will make my own thoughts and comments kind of from the angle of this question that was posed earlier. The article starts by showing a graphic that says, narcissistic traits to look out for in a partner. So you feel like you have to walk on eggshells, or they lose their charm behind closed doors, or you're constantly criticized, they break promises, you get the silent treatment, maybe they've cheated, and I think even just starting with those six things from this graphic of narcissistic traits to look out for in a partner. Again, I'm assuming, or I'm taking the angle that you, the person that is listening at this point is listening because maybe somebody's forwarded you this podcast and you are really trying to understand more about the situation that this person's been in that I think this is why this is so significant because you may not be, you probably aren't aware that they have been walking on eggshells around their spouse, that their spouse has lost their charm behind closed doors that their spouse is constantly criticizing them, which then if you only see the good side of that spouse or former spouse, and the person that is coming to you now feels like they can trust you enough that they want to start opening up to, then I want you to even just sit right there. And if this is a big surprise to you, then that actually is, is one the warning signs or the red flags because that means that the face, that the person that you were unaware is being now these accusations of this person's a narcissist or has these emotional immature tendencies that you have never seen them before.
So now all of a sudden, I want you to step into that, the shoes of the person that recommended this episode for you and think, man, okay, I need to start putting my empathy gear on, because that would be really hard if this person that is now coming to me and sharing this information with me is doing so, coming out of a marriage, coming out of a relationship, I, the observer made the judgment that everything is great. So Wow. And that now that marriage is dissolved or is on the way to divorce and this person is coming to me I need to believe them. I need to meet them where they're at. And that would be really difficult then if they were being constantly criticized or the person that this person's married to loses their charm behind closed doors or gives them the silent treatment or is continually breaking promises or has cheated or so, I hope you can see the direction that we're heading today. So in the article Arlen then says, signs of narcissism are often hard to spot in the beginning stages of a relationship, but over time, the can be seen more clearly, which is a bit of an understatement. If you are in this relationship and all of a sudden you find the life preserver that is a book, a podcast, a group of people that are having a similar experience, all of a sudden it is very clear. And as a matter of fact, it is so consistent and patronistic that it almost becomes a bit mind blowing. And the emails that I have I think well over a hundred pages now, single spaced on a Google document that say, hey, it sounds like you're reading my mind, you were there in the bedroom as we argued last night, or you're sitting in the backseat of our car, or you're, you know, any of those emails, it really is because it becomes so incredibly predictable that all I'm doing is just commenting on the things that I see in my office on literally a daily basis. The article, they go into the DSM five. The diagnostic manual for clinicians about narcissism, and they give the view, and this is why narcissism is not always understood.
It really isn't because they go into the grandiose sense of self importance preoccupation with fantasies is of unlimited success and power. Belief that they are special and unique and can only be understood by or associate with other special status or high status people, a need for excessive admiration, a sense of entitlement, interpersonally, exploitive behavior, a lack of empathy, envy of others, or a belief that others are envious of them, a demonstration of arrogant or haughty behaviors and attitudes. So at least five of those criteria must be met for a specific diagnosis of narcissistic personality disorder, and that's why I will say, okay, there are two or 3% of the population that may fit that five out of nine criteria for narcissistic personality disorder. But what's funny about something even like that is let's say that the person meets four of those, then you go, ooh, okay, I almost thought he was a narcissist. But, no, he's, uh, he's one, one of those away. Or if somebody, you know, hits six outta nine, then all of a sudden are we bordering on psychopathy or sociopathy?
So I, a little bit of a struggle for me when people are talking about, can you diagnose my spouse? Well, I can't diagnose your spouse for sure. Or can you, yeah, I thought you said he was a narcissist, or I thought you said she is a narcissist. Oh, I will never say that. I will say, boy, they, they show signs of narcissistic traits or tendencies, but really we're talking more about emotional immaturity. And that's where I think that things start to be a little bit easier to understand. And, I have taken great liberty in an article by Eleanor Greenberg, which says “The Truth about Narcissistic Personality Disorder”, I think that this is one of the best articles as far as I'm trying to make sense of narcissism but Eleanor Greenberg says, this is so well put, and so, so put in a very simple manner, but she says that narcissistic personality disorder, she says it's the name for a series of coping strategies that began as an adaptation to a childhood family situation that left the person with unstable self-esteem. The inability to regulate their self-esteem without external validation and low empathy, and that need for external validation and unstable self-esteem is really, those are the traits of the emotionally immature person with narcissistic traits and tendencies because emotional immaturity then is where it is my way. I cannot be wrong. Gaslighting is a childhood defense mechanism. It's not my fault, it's your fault. And that has been the air that this person has breathed since childhood. Because if they got in trouble or if they took accountability or ownership of something, then they would hear about it and boy would they hear about it. And as a child that attachment wound is deep. So the fact is, you want to do anything you can to know that you matter and to survive in that relationship. And so the way that you get those needs met is to not not react when you are being blamed for something because if you get in, you may die. And meanwhile, your own parents have most likely not modeled, taking ownership or accountability of things. They've either just given the silent treatment or they said, well, I wouldn't have done it if you kids would've cleaned up your room, whatever that looks like.
So narcissistic traits and tendencies are emotionally immature, I think is a little bit easier to digest. So we get back to this article then so I'm not really looking at the concept of well what's the proof that this person's a narcissist, if, again, you, as the person listening to this episode, I would love for you just to just try to get into the shoes or the, into the experience that the person who is sending this to you what that experience is like for them. So they go on to, here's some of the behaviors they say of people with narcissistic personality disorder, and I will add in our narcissistic traits and tendencies or emotionally immature people. And, I do appreciate Arlan says, well, many of the following behaviors can be indicative of a narcissistic personality disorder. Only a mental health professional can provide an accurate diagnosis. And this is, this is why I don't talk about things in the way that this article does. And again, I'm referring to the article. I really like the article, but I am just gonna address the concepts of emotional immaturity and narcissistic traits and tendencies. If someone needs the full-blown narcissistic personality disorder diagnosis, then that is the, that is something that the person needs to do through I dunno, a mental health exam or those sort of things. So let's get into those signs so you don't feel connected, says that your partner talks with you when it's convenient.
However, they've never actually asked what your plans are for the future, or how can we work together to build the life. They constantly brag about themselves and their accomplishments, and they rarely show interest or ask questions about anything going on in your life. Their happiness comes from external sources, such as prestige at work or money, and you wonder if they're even capable of feeling romantic love or an emotional connection. So let the games begin. Here we go. And, and I appreciate when he says, don't ask what your plans are for the future, or if they do, there's an angle, if there's a, hey, so what do you wanna do this? And this is where it's gonna start sounding like all or nothing behavior, but it's because of the person that has left a relationship and that is saying, hey, can you listen to this podcast? I think this will explain things a little bit better than I can. At the point where that person is left, I feel very safe in saying that they have spent years most likely trying to, trying to manage the relationship, trying to care, take the relationship, taking more ownership for things than, than I wanna say it's humanly possible, in hopes of keeping the peace. They've been questioning their own reality. They've been gaslighting themselves, they've been being gas lit, and they've continued to try and explain things so that this emotionally immature and narcissistic person will understand. But, Arlen, put it simply, this is the thing where their happiness comes from external sources such as prestige at work or money or power and control. So this is where the concepts of control are interesting. And now if this person wants, if the, let's say the narcissist says, well, I didn't know what I wanna do this weekend. Instead of it's, this is the part that is so just, it's hard to, to imagine if this isn't the way that you operate, but let's say that they, I don't know, they wanna go to a movie on a Saturday night and they say, hey, what are your plans on Saturday?
Now, in a healthy relationship, you might say, oh, I was, I don't know, I was going out with some friends. And then, that scenario, healthy relationship, you might say, oh man, that sounds, period, because I want that person to thrive or have fun or I, I will make my, my desires and needs known, but I'm just gonna bring awareness to that because I know that if my spouse already had plans, then I, who am I to say, well, you must change them. So if I said, oh, I, man, I wish I would've jumped on that earlier. I was thinking about it, I thought it would be fun to go see this movie, but I didn't even, it, it's on me. I didn't. I mean, look at this accountability, right? This is something that is not common or isn't really happening in a narcissistic relationship where your, your partner is going to say, oh, man, I, if I would've mentioned that earlier then, then maybe that would've been an option, but you already have plans, so we will go do something another time.I want you do do the things that you would like to do. I mean, because then at that point, if she says, oh no, I actually, I was, I was trying to find a way to get out of going with my friends because they're going somewhere I don't really like, it's loud there or, that's a healthy relationship.
And now this is where I, I kind of joke about the fight is then her saying, I would actually really love to go to the movie and him saying, oh no, I really don't wanna be the person that got in the way of your plans are you with your, and that's a healthy way, the unhealthy way is that the guy just said, oh, okay. No guy, go ahead. Like you, yeah, you always go with your friends, but yeah, that's fine. I just thought maybe one, we would go to a movie, you know, because he wants to go to the movie and most likely he probably knew that she had plans with her friends, but he's now, oh, I forgot. I forgot. I just, I thought I had mentioned this movie and it's just, I dunno so I wanted to see it for a long time, you know, and this is one where if the, if the wife knows that also earlier in the week, he said, I didn't know that this, that this was a movie, but now she's made to question her own reality. If he's saying, if she says, oh, I thought earlier you mentioned that you weren't even familiar, that this had been adapted into a movie and no, he wants to go see the movie. So instead of him saying, uh oh yeah, no, you're right because he wouldn't, and that scenario's like, oh no, I didn't say that. I said, no, I'm glad that this thing has been adapted into a movie. I mean, this is, and here's what the gaslighting looks like, I've actually, I dunno, I've kind of enjoyed this story since I was a kid. I mean, I remember my grandpa telling me the story, so, no, I've actually been wondering when this would be a movie since I think about the time I was 10. But that's kind of funny that you think on Monday that I said that I, that I wasn't even aware that this had been adapted to a movie. I mean, it just kind of shows me that you don't really hear what I say. And you, matter of fact, that's kinda a theme in our, in our relationship. So now that went from all of a sudden this guy, instead of him just saying, oh my bad, I was thinking it would be fun to go to a movie, and I just saw that this thing had been adapted into a movie. And I like this story as a kid, but we've got all the time in the world, how the vibe, the energy there, the emotional immaturity is, is amazing.
But in this narcissistic relationship, that is the vibe that we get. So the person can't just say, here's what I would like to do. Because then they're gonna have to take ownership of the fact that they forgot to mention it earlier. And now when the, the kind, the pathologically kind person, as I like to call them, says, uh oh, ah, my bad. I thought that you, I didn't even know you wanted to see that now you just handed them your buttons. What you, you didn't know. You don't know. You don't really know a lot about me. I don't really feel like you really understand me or hear me. So by the end now, the narcissist gets to go see the movie that he just found out about on Monday, but that he confabulated this narrative that is he's, that's his only wish from his dying grandpa, was that someday they'll make this movie and you'll go see it on the first Saturday evening after it comes out. So now he also gets to go to that movie feeling in control and power and getting that narcissistic supply of control because at his core, unfortunately, that means I, we will still be together because I must maintain control because if I am vulnerable and open, this person might lead me because I have no idea what that feels like to be an interdependent, differentiated human being having two different life experiences, where in reality that is absolutely the goal of a relationship. So, you don't feel connected. That's item number one, I think of 17. I don't think we're gonna make it through all 17.
The next one, you'll feel manipulated. Your partner will make subtle threats throughout the relationship; they may not be direct with their words, but you get a sense that if you don't do something for them or give in to what they want, bad things will happen. Sometimes it's easier to just go along with what they want, even if you don't agree. And this is a way of controlling and manipulating their partners to get what and often people in this kind of relationship, what life was like before the manipulation started. And, I'll tell you, this is just on my mind right now because I'm having an expert, a friend, a current therapist Jeff Stewart, he's gonna come on and talk about coercion and especially coercion in intimacy. Because one of the dynamics that happens so often in emotionally immature relationships, and I'm gonna go right now with the, again, the, what we're gonna say, the guy is the narcissist or the person that's incredibly emotionally immature, but the, this coercion. So even if we're talking about things like intimacy and sexuality, where if the guy wants to have sex with his wife instead of being able to put that out in a confident way and having adult healthy conversations around intimacy and sexuality. And maybe him respecting the fact that she may not want to when she's been with the kids all day, or if kids keep running into the bedroom or whatever that looks like, then he may then start to pout or he may start to withdraw, or he may start to just feel like, man, you just don't care about me. I mean, I don't even know why I'm here. And so then she knows, okay, I know how to get out of this. Then we will have sex and then he'll be good for a few days. And then equally then he'll say, you know, you don't, you don't initiate enough. You don't, you don't desire me. I want you to do that. So I want you to desire me, but then I also want in essence to do duty, sex, or, you know, transactional sex because that's what I want when I want it. So that can really feel like manipulation.
And then I appreciate the way Arlen says that sometimes it's easier just to go along with what they want, even if you don't really agree. And that's a way of controlling and manipulating your partner to get what you. And so to the emotionally immature, narcissistic person that that is, that continuous, almost push and pull of, of pushing their agenda and then withdrawing and pulling their agenda along and having you as the spouse or the partner just in this unsettled state, constantly trying to figure out, okay, is this the part where I'm supposed to praise him. He's the man or is this the part where I need to pity him and then go rescue him. I'm not really sure because the reality is the narcissist isn't really sure because it can change in any given moment. Arlan goes on to talk about the next one. You don't feel good enough and this one is such a common theme, such a common theme. You have feelings of inadequacy that don't match what you've accomplished in your life. You know, you go into the relationship feeling like this is gonna be one of the greatest things in the world and we're gonna thrive and grow. And I, we're gonna be a power couple, but then your partner tends to put you down or make negative comments about the things that you do.
You've lost touch with the things that you used to enjoy doing because you don't have time for them anymore. And, here's where I think things are really fascinating. He says, maybe you're always tired. It's difficult to get out of bed in the morning. You become hiding things from family and friends or feel ashamed about what goes on in your life. And then you start to lie to cover up the things that your partner does or doesn't because that's what people start to do when they lose their sense of self because they are spending so many emotional calories and so much time trying to manage their emotions, manage their partner's emotions, manage the room, to buffer for the kids that they, that is the part where they are not, they're not exploring and thriving and growing and continuing to nurture hobbies and friendships and passion because there's no time for that. When you're trying to figure out what's wrong with me, why can't I get him to hear me or understand me? Why do I feel like I'm not being seen in anything that I do? And what can be so difficult is now added to that if the wife is spending the majority of time with kids as caretaker, because little kids by nature are little narcissists, but that's a, bless their heart kind of way, but they're egocentric. Everything's about them. So they're absolutely not gonna validate mom at all times.
So now if she's not getting that support or validation from the relationship as well, then she really does start to feel like, what, what is my purpose? I mean, I must be doing everything wrong because nobody is listening to me. And that can just start to break someone down. So again, if this is the listener who is hearing this, that someone suggested that you listen or if you caught the title of this, which I haven't named yet, but hopefully I'll put something very clever about, what you need to know about your friends that are claiming to be a narcissistic or emotionally immature relationships. It's probably a little bit too long, but that person has not felt good enough. This person feels manipulated, that the person doesn't feel a connection or didn't feel a connection with their spouse. The next one, he says, you're constantly being gaslit. when somebody constantly denies things that you know to be true, such as you're pretty confident in that example earlier that he really did say, I did not know that a movie had been made about this story that I had heard as a kid, you heard that you know the things you know because you're willing to admit the things that you don't. So in that scenario, oh no, I remember that. There are other things, plenty of things I don't. He says, for example, your spouse might make a comment like, you just don't remember right about something that you know happened. They'll gaslight you into believing that certain things never happened or that they did things because of something that you did or you said.
First your partner may tell lies about your behavior and then try to twist reality so that it fits their version of events rather than what really happened. And you might begin second guessing yourself, and that is part of that feeling like you are going crazy. And if they do this in front of family members or friends, which they often do, then those people may start to think that the problem is with you instead of your partner. And here's the problem, because you as a kind person don't want to, don't, you don't wanna be mean. So it's hard for you to say that is absolutely not true because most likely by the time that he is sharing that information to friends or family, you've already been in this situation for quite a while and at that point you've probably questioned your own reality or you definitely know if I say anything right now, he is going to lose his crap when we get home. So, it can be really difficult for others to realize what happens behind closed doors because your partner appears charming on the surface. You avoid conversations. It may seem as though every conversation with your partner ends up in an argument, no matter how hard you try and stay calm and not get upset by what they say or do.
The narcissist constantly tries to push your buttons to get you to react. Controlling others' emotions gives them a sense of satisfaction, so it's easier to just avoid conversations. But at some point, if you're in an adult relationship with a partner, conversations need to occur or they are going to occur when you finally need to make them happen, and you start to realize that, man, I just don't like bringing things up around him. And then your body starts keeping the score, your heart rate starts to elevate, you start to get panic attacks or sweats. And then just the ramifications or the, just the, it's almost like this ball rolling downhill and picking up momentum is that at this point now, you already know this is not gonna go well. My body is telling me this is not safe. But at some point we have to have a conversation about, you know, the finances or the car or the, or the kid going to college or needing to pay for something. And you just think, okay, here we go, and now whatever button, whatever button I expose so that if I say, hey, so I've been meaning to talk to you about this, but I just, I'm, so, I just feel like our conversations don't go well. And then your spouse will say, um, yeah, they don't go well because of the way you're, look at how you're showing up. What am I supposed to do? And, this is all here we go. So batting down the hatches, we're going into battle. That is not a way to be in a relationship. And again, I have to keep reminding myself, if you are the person hearing this, this has been the experience of the person that is now saying to you, I know it looked great on the surface, but the reason why I would just smile and just giggle when he would say, yeah, she doesn't really know much about what she, she's horrible with money. Am I right, guys? That is not an okay way to communicate, especially how and if that person now is willing to put that face out there in public.
You can only imagine or can't imagine what's going on behind closed doors. You're made to feel responsible for everything. Narcissists think that everything that they do is always somebody else's fault, including the things they do wrong. So you won't get an apology from a narcissistic person. They don't see other people as being on unequal footing. And your partner will not take responsibility and they will blame you. And that is, that is, again, this is that concept of the air they breathe. And so when I talk about, so person listening, when I talk about, I give these five rules of the way to, in essence, show up or interact with someone that is narcissistic or emotionally immature in your life. And, I would take another 10 minutes to explain the reason why I, I even hesitate on the phrasing of these five things because I am meeting people, my goal is to meet people where they're at. When people first start finding out about emotional immaturity and narcissism, they're typically met with a, hey, leave your relationship right now. But when the person finds this information, they think, no, I, number one, that would be scary to leave my relationship. Or we have kids, or we're a financial mess. And so I can't just do that. So maybe with this information, then I can change the dynamic. So I say, raise your emotional baseline, which means I want that to start really exploring self-care, and even if it's starting with having hopes and dreams, because already their life has been consumed with trying to manage their relationship, that the last thing they're doing is thinking about themselves other than from a survival instinct.
Raise your emotional baseline. Self-care is not selfish. The second one I talk about is getting your PhD in gaslighting. So just meaning what we talked about earlier with gaslighting, that is the world that this person is living in that has probably sent you this podcast or that you're aware of that was trying to open up to you. And that would be hard if they're now, now even look, if you are saying to them, and this is a, bless your heart, you're just now listening to this yourself, but if you're now saying, oh no, I don't think narcissism is a, well, by definition, you kinda just gaslit them. So now you can go back and say, hey, my bad, I'm now understanding I'm starting to learn more. The third thing is to get out of unproductive conversations. I tell them, please, because the conversations are where you are continually just handing them your buttons, handing them your buttons, and they will use those later. The fourth thing is learning to set healthy boundaries, but unfortunately, know that boundary, a boundary is a challenge for the narcissist or the emotionally immature. But here's the big one, the fifth thing, there is nothing you will ever do, I tell them, that will cause your partner to have the aha moment or the epiphany- that has to happen on their own. And a huge part of the challenge is the kind person has been trying to get through to the emotionally immature, narcissistic person, without understanding that that is, that is not gonna happen. So they've continually given examples and talked about their feelings, and this is hard for me, and continually going on and on in that regard. In the hopes that this narcissistic person will then at some point say, oh, gotcha. Okay man, I, I didn't really understand what was going on. But that's not gonna happen.
So then the more things that you say and do, the more ammunition that you're typically giving that person. The next one that he talks about is that you feel responsible for everything. And narcissists think that everything is always someone else's fault. And I love that I'm not a big all or nothing statement guy, but I have no problem with this one saying, I think that everything is always someone else's fault, including the things that they do wrong. You won't get an apology from a narcissistic person. And this is a fascinating one because I have tried, I have literally tried especially well before I understood narcissistic traits, tendencies, emotional immaturity, but I still remember the very moment that a person, the wife had said, he's literally never said he’s sorry. And she brought up some pretty hurtful things that had happened in the relationship. And I said, is that true? And he blank stared at me. And then at the time I didn't realize that this is where you can watch an extremely emotionally immature or narcissistic person revert right back to this childhood defense mechanism. So when I talk about gaslighting as a childhood defense mechanism, there's also fight, flight, freeze, fawn. And that freeze is where, where the person will literally just go blank and it's as if they emotionally shut down, because that is definitely a defense strategy of having to take ownership of something until you just say, okay, well, I guess we aren't going to have this conversation.
And I have watched that on the couch where you can watch a successful older male or female person, successful meaning they get to have financial means positions in the community, but when it comes down to the point where they feel that they may have hurt that someone in their family or they may have done something wrong where they will, they may try to get angry. They may try to withdraw, but at times they will just go blank slate, and then you eventually say, okay, this is just pointless. And move on. It's really interesting. So, they just will not take responsibility because ultimately that responsibility could mean that they did something wrong and it goes back to what it feels like to be them when they were younger is a no, I can not get in trouble. As if from childhood, they're screaming subconsciously that you don't understand people who get in trouble, their families get really angry with them and they cut them off. A matter of fact, there's a concept called the narcissistic discard, where once you are no longer serving their purpose, it's really easy for them to move on to another supply. And that's where you'll even see in narcissistic family systems where the parent, when they don't feel like they are getting validation from their kid will often then discard the kid in a sense. And that's where you start looking at the concepts around a scapegoat child in the family. And if you have been in a narcissistic family system, or if you even are around people that this is maybe what's happening in their family, you will often notice that one of the kids seems to just get an awful load of, I was going to say crap. I know that's not a psychology term, but they're going to get the brunt of the negativity in the relationship.
And then that will typically mean that there is someone else in the family that is the golden child. And the golden child has consciously or subconsciously learned how to play the game to make the parents feel good about themselves. And then it's that back to that black or white all or nothing thinking of the emotional immature, where then that must mean that there is someone in the family that then will get the brunt, will get, in essence, blamed for everything. So even if a parent gets angry, yeah, okay, sure, fine. I'm sorry. I got angry, but I wouldn't have been angry if you would've just listened to me or if you wouldn't have done those things that you were doing. And as a matter of fact, now, I can't believe that I'm the one that has to apologize. And now I'm really frustrated at you again. So that's even that concept of a narcissistic apology. Is one where it will still end up being about the narcissist being right. And you being wrong. You're walking on eggshells, it says. Do you ever feel as though you're walking on eggshells because you never know when your partner is going to explode or be in one of their moods? Typically it goes like this, everything seems fine, but then something minor happens and they go into a rage, even a small thing, like somebody at work being recognized for an accomplishment while your partner feels overlooked.
It can cause a narcissist to throw a fit. And this is known as narcissistic rage. And you probably will feel like you've lost yourself now because all of your decisions are based on what will keep your narcissistic partner happy. So if you are listening and then you are starting to try to put the puzzle pieces together that maybe someone that you love or are aware of or somebody who even suggested you listened to this podcast, or even if it, again, as you listening to this and starting to wake up to the narcissism in the relationship. That is a major one where you start to feel like all of my decisions are based on what will keep this other person happy. And now I'm even putting that on my kids. And I'm putting that on those around me of, hey, a mom's having a rough day today, so everybody needs to kind of back off and so we're, we're putting that emotionally immature narcissist person's needs ahead of all of the rest of ours. And that is one of the things where people stay in these emotionally immature or unhealthy relationships, and they sometimes say, no, I'm doing it for the kids. But in reality, you're teaching the kids to learn to suppress their emotions and to read the room and try to figure out how to show up so that somebody won't get mad at me rather than just showing up and being. And having a secure attachment with a parent or the ability to go out and do, and possibly even make mistakes and then come back and it doesn't become something that then the parent says, see, I told you so, or the parent gets to take the one-up position and say, man, I never would have done that when I was your age or, or why didn't you learn from the stories that I've told you? So the narcissistic or emotionally immature parent can go right back to making it about themselves.
You see through the charm, he says on the surface, your partner can be charming and confident and accomplished. However, this seems this way only because they're so skillful at hiding their true colors in public. They say all the right things and people love them. But the second that you're alone with them, then things change. And it's really fascinating. A lot of the examples when I'm working with individuals directly, where as the mask starts to drop on their emotional immature partner. They will, and I do sound like I'm being almost in my own all or nothing thinking where, when they start to identify these patterns, they're so strong. The traits are so strong that then they will say, but sometimes, my spouse will be really nice to me. And then I often say, okay, well, right now let's just put a little pin in that and say, what's the angle? And then typically you'll circle back around and find one recently where the person had shared that they realized, oh, it was because someone else was in the room. Or it was because they were being nice because they knew now they found out in hindsight that whatever the situation was that their spouse had now had done a 180 on and said, oh no, I, you know what I think I would like to do that. It was because when they got to this place, then they were, in essence, given praise for going to this place. So, there is this angle. And so you may see through that charm that others do not.
Feeling constantly criticized, and I wanted to make sure that I got to this one and the next one, your needs are ignored because either some of those people that I think that didn't grow up with a healthy relationship modeled, or they are in an emotionally abusive or emotionally immature relationship, don't realize that this is not part of a healthy relationship. So Arlen says your partner is excessively critical of your parents. They might make comments about your weight, your clothing, your choice of hairstyle. They make fun of you or put you down, and this might happen behind your back and or to your face. They also make fun of others, especially people they perceive as lesser than them. Someone they deem as less attractive or wealthy in general. They're highly critical of everyone. So one of the things that I will hear is if somebody will say, well, yeah, he comments about my weight often. You know, I remember just a heartbreaking story early on in my therapy career of a woman who had had a couple of kids and her husband would just continually, when she would get out of the shower just make fun of her weight and just criticize her. And she, I remember her saying in my office, she said, I mean, but it's a fair point. I mean, I have put on some weight. I said, it's not a fair point. How much weight did he put on when he had kids? Which isn't even the point. I mean, you're going to show up in the relationship and when you have a healthy relationship, then you want to be there to support each other. And so the narcissist who, or the emotional immature, is saying things that being hypercritical of someone to put them in a one-down position. Because let's say that that person now, I don't know, got in perfect shape, then that narcissist isn't going to go, okay, everything is great. Now I will stop criticizing you because unfortunately that's the way that they show up in the relationship because they still feel that they need this control or power.
And so one of the ways that you can gain control or power is to put someone down. And criticize them. And it's really hard because if I'm working with the individual who is being criticized, then I'm saying, okay, this is a concept where I really don't want you to even engage or to give that any validity. So if you know that you are doing your best really is what it is. And let's say this woman who had had a couple of kids and she was just trying to do her best and survive and hang on, then the last thing I wanted her to do was then say, try to say well, but you don't understand. And because once you engage with the emotionally immature narcissistic person, then now they are now again, they get that dopamine bump because now they feel alive because that's their, in essence, their sense of purpose is getting their validation through other people. And it rarely means a positive version of getting validation. It typically means a way to control and a way to manipulate. And then he says your needs are ignored. Your partner thinks only about their own needs and how things affect them, not you or anything else, including the kids, if you have a family. And they'll end up doing things that benefit themselves, not you or the relationship together. And you give some examples of, they may want to have sex when they want it, but not when you do. They expect you to pick up after them and they take credit for your hard work. They get upset when others treat their family better than yours. They favor certain children over others in the family, if they feel that child actually makes them look better or that child is the one that listens to them.
And along those lines, your needs are being ignored. I think that this is the part where when you start to look at the selfishness of narcissism, that you really can step back when you can step back and take a look at the situation in the context of the event, let's say is that if the narcissist wants to go to a basketball game, then they are going to come up with every reason that they can, that this is the most special basketball game. This is all they've ever wanted to do is go to this one game. If you want to go to the game and they don't feel like it, then you're going to hear that it's pretty expensive and it's a school night. And I don't think that we really need to stay out late. And so that's the part where you will find yourself confused at times, because if you want to do something and they want to do it, then, okay that works. If you want to do something and they don't, then sometimes you feel like, why do I even bring it up? Because I know where this is, this is heading. Or if I go do it, then I'm going to hear about it and now it is going to be this thing that is going to be used against me. Your family is warning you or is oblivious. I thought that was a really interesting part because it's true. He says your family has told you, they don't like how your partner treats you or your family is oblivious to anything wrong because your partner has been feeding them the lies about you. Either way, your partner is a point of contention when it comes to family relations.
And there's a concept that he doesn't talk about here, but it's also called, well, it's sequestering, where you will often find that the person in the relationship with the narcissist is often told don't, don't talk about this to other people,that's embarrassing. We don't air our dirty laundry out to others. So you can often feel isolated. And so if your partner is showing up as the wonderful person that they are trying to present themselves as, that's part of what can make you just feel crazy is if you feel like no one else really understands what I'm going through or seeing this, but so often, and this is just something to note. So often when people get out of these relationships, they will hear many people say, man, you know, yeah, I didn't think that looked very good or I don't think that looked very healthy and the person getting out of the relationship will often talk with me in my office about, why didn't they say or why didn't they tell me before? And then that one's a pretty quick version of me asking the client, well, what would you have thought at that time? Because when you are in that relationship, you are also trying to defend the emotional abuser, or even it can be at times the physical abuser. Because if you have to admit that your relationship is not good, we have this just survival mechanism that kicks in that we want to go to this place where we say, okay, then something's wrong with me so I can make this work. So it's a, one of those concepts where until you were in that position to be able to do this work to self confront, and maybe start to really sit with that discomfort and then be open and start to take in this new data.
It can be the exact opposite where you feel like you need to defend the person. I will often find that in the beginning of those types of relationships, if somebody will come in and seek help from me that they are going over and over with what's wrong with me, I must be broken. And then they will start to open up a little bit about the relationship. And often during that opening up process, I will hear, I mean, but I've got my faults too, or I know, I know he means well, or none of us are perfect and those sorts of things are, they are, in essence, invalidating themselves and what their experiences and wanting to just say, if I can figure this out, and so that can just be a really difficult situation for somebody as they are starting to just wake up to this overall unhealthy relationship that they're in, he says, one of the other key signs, if you've been cheated on in our system often is often a master flirt might be cheating on you. They're very charming and not as sweet people off their feet. That's the love bombing side of things. Here's something that I won't go into too much detail because this would probably be a completely different podcast, but there's, it's that paradox of the emotionally immature narcissistic relationship with the pathologically kind person. And what I mean by that is, when Arlen's talking here about you've been cheated on, is that the narcissist will often just go seek the dopamine dump for the supply of adoration. And when they do that, that can lead to physical affairs, emotional affairs. But I will often find a good pathologically kind person that is coming in because they feel so incredibly guilty about turning to another person emotionally and yeah, sometimes physically as well.
And this is going to sound again, here's what I call this, this paradox of this relationship where it can be someone who has been, in essence, driven into a relationship with someone else who sees them and hears them and understands them because we crave to be seen and understood. So if we aren't getting any of that in our, in our marital relationship or our long-term committed relationship, and then somebody at work or a neighbor or someone else truly sees us and hears us and really is inquisitive and curious, that can be almost like a drug in and of itself. So when you have the version you've been cheated on and this article where it's the narcissist, who is in a moment, and then feels like they are just getting this dopamine bump of this person, just adores them and puts them in this just high status situation. Then they may act out sexually. And then in that same narcissistic way of, and then just immediately, okay. I can be done with that, but then meanwhile, you've got the pathologically kind person who has tried for decades to make a relationship work. And now they're coming in because they feel incredibly guilty because they like communicating with, I don't know, the school crossing guard or the person, the barista at Starbucks or the person at work, because they feel like here's somebody that actually is asking them questions and wanting to know more about them, which it can just, that can be like a drug itself.
Which can lead to that next one, where he talks about feeling unloved. When you got together, you felt like the most amazing person in the world. However, as time went on and problems arose, your partner starts to de-value and ignore you. And this is a red flag that they're not who they made themselves out to be in the first place. And, I'll pull the marriage therapist card here and say that I have sat with a number of emotionally immature people who, when we're having the couples therapy, they will say, let's say that it's I know I keep going with the that's what I typically see my office, but I know it can be the reverse. But if the wife is saying, okay, this, he was this amazing person who wrote love notes and we did fun dates and we just had all this spontaneity when, before we were married. And now that's changed. And I have numerous examples that come to mind of where the husband will look at me and say, yeah, that's the way marriage works. Can you tell her? And that's, you know, never ask the therapist a question that you don't know the answer to, because that is not the way it works. That you don't love bomb someone to get them into your grasp and then just settle back down and say, okay. All right now, we just, now let's just settle into life. It's now we're trying to find a partner who we can go through life with. So as we go through experiences in life, then we can start to process them together, live them together so that I can really share my hopes and dreams with a spouse and that I can also be open and willing to comment that they may have questions, or even healthy criticism at times.
Or if someone will say, hey, tell me more about that interaction you just had with one of the kids, like help me understand what’s going through your mind and not in a oh, okay, really? What's going through your mind right now? But help me understand so we can grow to be better people and in a stronger couple. You get the silent treatment, this, this one's huge in the world of emotionally immature, your partner uses a silent treatment as a power play to control you. And they will withhold affection and they'll ignore your existence until they feel like being nice again, which is when I call, hey, do you want to ride bikes? And that's only usually, well, no, it is not usually, it is when it will benefit them again, like getting what they want a lot of times it's when, okay, now they're ready to be intimate again, or when they feel like, okay, they need you to do something for them, he also mentions you can be stuck financially. Maybe we'll explore that in a future episode, but an emotionally immature narcissistic person is very impulsive and doesn't take a lot of ownership for the things that they do. So they make bad financial decisions and choices. And that's just one of the things that happens. That doesn't mean that everybody that makes bad financial decisions is emotionally immature or a narcissist.
And then just a couple more. You can't rely on your partner. When they make promises, you never know if they're going to keep them. Narcissists are notorious for making promises and then breaking them when it's convenient. You don't feel as though you have a partner that you can rely on and you find yourself having to do everything yourself. And a lot of, again, all or nothing or everything statements there, but one of the consistencies that I've been noticing a lot lately and trying to write more about is that I really do feel like when I am working with someone that is just struggling with emotional immaturity and they are coming in and they are seeking help and they want, they're willing to self confront, that we get back to that concept of, we don't like to sit with discomfort. And so, especially if somebody is more on the emotionally immature scale, it can be really easy when they feel uncomfortable to be put on the spot and with someone saying, hey, can I count on you? I need to buy these tickets in two weeks. Can you do this thing with me? Then it feels good. One way that they will alleviate that discomfort is to say, yeah, I want to do it because I think that they really do, maybe in that moment, want to do it. But that also is just a way for them to say, okay, I've alleviated that discomfort. I will kick that down the road. And there's a lot of kicking the can and the world of the emotionally immature that I will do a lot of things later. But then when later comes, then, if that has not been something that's put on their radar or something else comes up that they would rather do, then here comes the gaslighting. The, you know, I'd only said that at the time, because I thought that was what you wanted, but the more I thought about it, I'm kind of, I can't believe you put me in that spot.
And that's not, or, you know what, you can take one of the kids that I'm sure that they would love it. As a matter of fact, I think that that's kind of what you probably should do, but really it's not me being willing to say, hey, I said that in the moment, because that is what I wanted to do, but then I should've let you know that I was only saying that because I really wanted to make you happy and get rid of my discomfort, but no one emotionally immature is going to have that kind of insight, especially right early on when you're trying to wake up to this narcissism or emotional immaturity in your relationships. He ends by saying you've asked and they won't change, narcissists aren't willing to change because that would mean admitting something is wrong. And we've spent a little bit of time today talking about that is just the air that they breathe. That admission of being wrong feels like the end of their world. It feels like that will lead to sure abandonment, which will eventually lead to death. And so rather than just saying, taking ownership and accountability, my bad, what can I learn from this? What do I need to own up to? It’s a lot easier to just say that that's ridiculous. I don't, I don't do those things or, well, when you start working on your stuff, then come back and talk to me and then I'll see what I can do about mine. So, your partner isn't willing to change their behavior, then he ends by in essence saying, well, you might be in a relationship with a narcissist.
So if you have made it this far, I appreciate that. If you're the person that's in this relationship with the emotionally immature or someone that is struggling with narcissistic traits or tendencies, then you know, you're on this journey. You're starting to wake up to this in the relationship. And just, if you can go back and find those episodes that talk about the five things that I recommend that you can do, if you feel like you're in this emotionally immature or narcissistic relationship. And if you're somebody that is trying to understand more about what someone is going through, if they have said, if they have mentioned the concepts around narcissism or emotional immaturity, I hope that you can see that this is a, this is one article that has 17 different things that say you may be in a relationship with a narcissist or an emotionally immature person and boy again, I will acknowledge that if you Google this concept, you will see that there are 17 things, 30 things, 50 things. There are so many different articles that talk about these consistent patterns of behavior. And it's because they're very consistent. So, please don't take it lightly if someone is saying that they are in a relationship or escaping or getting out of a relationship with someone that they feel is emotionally immature or narcissistic, because it has been a slow process, a death by a thousand cuts process to get them to the point that wherever they are right now. So what they really need is somebody to say, man, tell me more. And that sounds hard and I'm here for you and what can I do to help? That's some of the best advice that I can give if somebody is asking you to take a look at what these concepts of emotional immaturity or narcissism look like.
All right. Hey, thanks for taking the time. If you have questions, feel free to send them, and contact me through my social media contact at Tony Overbay underscore LMFT on Instagram, at Virtual Couch on TikTok or Tony Overbay licensed marriage and family therapist on Facebook, or you can email me contact@tonyoverbay.com and I will see you next week on Waking Up to Narcissism.
Have you ever felt like a tightrope walker trying to balance your relationship on a fraying rope of trust? Or perhaps you're more of a DIY enthusiast who feels like they've been handed a relationship IKEA flatpack with a few missing screws and no instruction manual? In this episode, Tony dives head first into discussing the fundamental building blocks to rebuild that shaky thing we call trust. We'll talk about the virtues of kindness, the relentless commitment to truth-telling, the importance of upskilling in the art of life partnership, and why being as predictable as a sitcom punchline can be a good thing in a relationship. So tune in, get comfortable, and let's hammer, screw, and even duct tape your trust back together in a way that would make MacGyver proud!
Use the following code to purchase the 2023 Sex Summit for only $35 featuring Tony's presentation: Relationship Tools You Don't Know You Need - Tips and Tools Born From 15 Years of Practice w/1500 Couples. https://thedatingdivas.myshopify.com/discount/TONY23?redirect=%2Fproducts%2Fsex-seminar-2023
Or use the following code to purchase 2020, 2021, 2023, and 2024 seminars for only $80: https://thedatingdivas.myshopify.com/discount/TONYBUNDLE23?redirect=%2Fproducts%2Fsex-seminar-2023-bundle
Find all the latest links to podcasts, courses, Tony's newsletter, and more at https://linktr.ee/virtualcouch
Inside ACT for Anxiety Disorder Course is Open! Visit https://praxiscet.com/virtualcouch Inside ACT for Anxiety Disorders; Dr. Michael Twohig will teach you the industry-standard treatment used by anxiety-treatment experts around the world. Through 6 modules of clear instruction and clinical demonstrations, you will learn how to create opportunities for clients to practice psychological flexibility in the presence of anxiety.
After completing the course material, you'll have a new, highly effective anxiety treatment tool that can be used with every anxiety-related disorder, from OCD to panic disorder to generalized anxiety disorder.
And follow Tony on the Virtual Couch YouTube channel to see a sneak preview of his upcoming podcast "Murder on the Couch," where True Crime meets therapy, co-hosted with his daughter Sydney. You can watch a pre-release clip here https://youtu.be/-RkRq8SrQy0
Subscribe to Tony's latest podcast, "Waking Up to Narcissism Q&A - Premium Podcast," on the Apple Podcast App. https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/waking-up-to-narcissism-q-a/id1667287384
Go to http://tonyoverbay.com/workshop to sign up for Tony's "Magnetize Your Marriage" virtual workshop. The cost is only $19, and you'll learn the top 3 things you can do NOW to create a Magnetic Marriage.
You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program, The Path Back, by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to receive updates on upcoming programs and podcasts.
Tony mentioned a product that he used to take out all of the "uh's" and "um's" that, in his words, "must be created by wizards and magic!" because it's that good! To learn more about Descript, click here https://descript.com?lmref=bSWcEQ
Tony dissects the article “Divorce Probably Won’t Make You Happier, Study Says” https://www.additudemag.com/happy-healthy-marriage-divorce-adhd-relationship-news/ and shares why phrases like “marital endurance” and “build a good and happy life despite a mediocre marriage” don’t exactly make for the best sales pitch for marriage. He shares what a “mediocre marriage” may be telling you and what a healthy relationship looks like as it matures.
Use the following code to purchase the 2023 Sex Summit for only $35 featuring Tony's presentation: Relationship Tools You Don't Know You Need - Tips and Tools Born From 15 Years of Practice w/1500 Couples. https://thedatingdivas.myshopify.com/discount/TONY23?redirect=%2Fproducts%2Fsex-seminar-2023
Or use the following code to purchase 2020, 2021, 2023, and 2024 seminars for only $80: https://thedatingdivas.myshopify.com/discount/TONYBUNDLE23?redirect=%2Fproducts%2Fsex-seminar-2023-bundle
Find all the latest links to podcasts, courses, Tony's newsletter, and more at https://linktr.ee/virtualcouch
Inside ACT for Anxiety Disorder Course is Open! Visit https://praxiscet.com/virtualcouch Inside ACT for Anxiety Disorders; Dr. Michael Twohig will teach you the industry-standard treatment used by anxiety-treatment experts around the world. Through 6 modules of clear instruction and clinical demonstrations, you will learn how to create opportunities for clients to practice psychological flexibility in the presence of anxiety.
After completing the course material, you'll have a new, highly effective anxiety treatment tool that can be used with every anxiety-related disorder, from OCD to panic disorder to generalized anxiety disorder.
And follow Tony on the Virtual Couch YouTube channel to see a sneak preview of his upcoming podcast "Murder on the Couch," where True Crime meets therapy, co-hosted with his daughter Sydney. You can watch a pre-release clip here https://youtu.be/-RkRq8SrQy0
Subscribe to Tony's latest podcast, "Waking Up to Narcissism Q&A - Premium Podcast," on the Apple Podcast App. https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/waking-up-to-narcissism-q-a/id1667287384
Go to http://tonyoverbay.com/workshop to sign up for Tony's "Magnetize Your Marriage" virtual workshop. The cost is only $19, and you'll learn the top 3 things you can do NOW to create a Magnetic Marriage.
You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program, The Path Back, by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to receive updates on upcoming programs and podcasts.
Tony mentioned a product that he used to take out all of the "uh's" and "um's" that, in his words, "must be created by wizards and magic!" because it's that good! To learn more about Descript, click here https://descript.com?lmref=bSWcEQ
Tony explores the concept of apophenia and its relevance in mental health. Apophenia refers to the tendency of the human brain to perceive patterns, connections, or meaningful relationships in random or meaningless data. While this cognitive phenomenon can be harmless, it can also lead to delusions, paranoia, and other mental health issues, particularly in individuals with conditions like schizophrenia.
He delves into the different forms of apophenia, including pareidolia and clustering illusion, and how they relate to mental health. We also discuss how apophenia can be relevant in everyday life, such as in conspiracy theories or superstitious beliefs. This episode highlights the importance of understanding apophenia as a crucial concept in mental health and its role in shaping our perceptions and behaviors.
Tony refers to the article “All About Apophenia” https://psychcentral.com/health/apophenia-overview#causes Medically reviewed by Kendra Kubala, PsyD, Psychology, and written by Cathy Lovering.
Find all the latest links to podcasts, courses, Tony's newsletter, and more at https://linktr.ee/virtualcouch
Inside ACT for Anxiety Disorder Course is Open! Visit https://praxiscet.com/virtualcouch Inside ACT for Anxiety Disorders; Dr. Michael Twohig will teach you the industry-standard treatment used by anxiety-treatment experts around the world. Through 6 modules of clear instruction and clinical demonstrations, you will learn how to create opportunities for clients to practice psychological flexibility in the presence of anxiety.
After completing the course material, you'll have a new, highly effective anxiety treatment tool that can be used with every anxiety-related disorder, from OCD to panic disorder to generalized anxiety disorder.
And follow Tony on the Virtual Couch YouTube channel to see a sneak preview of his upcoming podcast "Murder on the Couch," where True Crime meets therapy, co-hosted with his daughter Sydney. You can watch a pre-release clip here https://youtu.be/-RkRq8SrQy0
Subscribe to Tony's latest podcast, "Waking Up to Narcissism Q&A - Premium Podcast," on the Apple Podcast App. https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/waking-up-to-narcissism-q-a/id1667287384
Go to http://tonyoverbay.com/workshop to sign up for Tony's "Magnetize Your Marriage" virtual workshop. The cost is only $19, and you'll learn the top 3 things you can do NOW to create a Magnetic Marriage.
You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program, The Path Back, by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to receive updates on upcoming programs and podcasts.
Tony mentioned a product that he used to take out all of the "uh's" and "um's" that, in his words, "must be created by wizards and magic!" because it's that good! To learn more about Descript, click here https://descript.com?lmref=bSWcEQ
Tony discusses the 9 phrases that, if used daily, are strong indicators that “your relationship is more successful” than most from the article “Harvard-trained psychologist: If you use any of these 9 phrases every day, ‘your relationship is more successful’ than most” by Dr. Cortney Warren https://apple.news/AqM_s77doSAm_lfXllM343g
And stay tuned until the end of the podcast! Tony shares 20 minutes of the first episode of his new “true crime meets therapy” podcast “Murder on the Couch,” co-hosted by his daughter Sydney Overbay. You can watch the episode on YouTube here https://youtu.be/OKidvzLAbI0 or follow/subscribe wherever you listen to podcasts, including Apple Podcasts https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/murder-on-the-couch/id1684487066?i=1000611379631 or Spotify https://open.spotify.com/show/6GJQeJxx4elDlcaW21JsvU?si=675abf672a7941dd
Find all the latest links to podcasts, courses, Tony's newsletter, and more at https://linktr.ee/virtualcouch
Inside ACT for Anxiety Disorder Course is Open! Visit https://praxiscet.com/virtualcouch Inside ACT for Anxiety Disorders; Dr. Michael Twohig will teach you the industry-standard treatment used by anxiety-treatment experts around the world. Through 6 modules of clear instruction and clinical demonstrations, you will learn how to create opportunities for clients to practice psychological flexibility in the presence of anxiety.
After completing the course material, you'll have a new, highly effective anxiety treatment tool that can be used with every anxiety-related disorder, from OCD to panic disorder to generalized anxiety disorder.
And follow Tony on the Virtual Couch YouTube channel to see a sneak preview of his upcoming podcast "Murder on the Couch," where True Crime meets therapy, co-hosted with his daughter Sydney. You can watch a pre-release clip here https://youtu.be/-RkRq8SrQy0
Subscribe to Tony's latest podcast, "Waking Up to Narcissism Q&A - Premium Podcast," on the Apple Podcast App. https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/waking-up-to-narcissism-q-a/id1667287384
Go to http://tonyoverbay.com/workshop to sign up for Tony's "Magnetize Your Marriage" virtual workshop. The cost is only $19, and you'll learn the top 3 things you can do NOW to create a Magnetic Marriage.
You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program, The Path Back, by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to receive updates on upcoming programs and podcasts.
Tony mentioned a product that he used to take out all of the "uh's" and "um's" that, in his words, "must be created by wizards and magic!" because it's that good! To learn more about Descript, click here https://descript.com?lmref=bSWcEQ
Pain is unavoidable; suffering, on the other hand, is apparently an option. Most people prefer neither pain nor suffering, but if suffering indeed is an option, how does one get rid of suffering in life? Tony references Jade Wu, Ph.D.'s article "Pain is Unavoidable, Suffering Is an Option" https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-savvy-psychologist/202008/pain-is-unavoidable-suffering-is-option, and he explores Rick Hanson's "Buddha's Brain: The Practical Neuroscience of Happiness, Love, and Wisdom," https://amzn.to/3oMF3xs
Find all the latest links to podcasts, courses, Tony's newsletter, and more at https://linktr.ee/virtualcouch
Inside ACT for Anxiety Disorder Course is Open! Visit https://praxiscet.com/virtualcouch Inside ACT for Anxiety Disorders; Dr. Michael Twohig will teach you the industry-standard treatment used by anxiety-treatment experts around the world. Through 6 modules of clear instruction and clinical demonstrations, you will learn how to create opportunities for clients to practice psychological flexibility in the presence of anxiety.
After completing the course material, you'll have a new, highly effective anxiety treatment tool that can be used with every anxiety-related disorder, from OCD to panic disorder to generalized anxiety disorder.
And follow Tony on the Virtual Couch YouTube channel to see a sneak preview of his upcoming podcast "Murder on the Couch," where True Crime meets therapy, co-hosted with his daughter Sydney. You can watch a pre-release clip here https://youtu.be/-RkRq8SrQy0
Subscribe to Tony's latest podcast, "Waking Up to Narcissism Q&A - Premium Podcast," on the Apple Podcast App. https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/waking-up-to-narcissism-q-a/id1667287384
Go to http://tonyoverbay.com/workshop to sign up for Tony's "Magnetize Your Marriage" virtual workshop. The cost is only $19, and you'll learn the top 3 things you can do NOW to create a Magnetic Marriage.
You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program, The Path Back, by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to receive updates on upcoming programs and podcasts.
Tony mentioned a product that he used to take out all of the "uh's" and "um's" that, in his words, "must be created by wizards and magic!" because it's that good! To learn more about Descript, click here https://descript.com?lmref=bSWcEQ
Murder on the Couch, a True Crime Meets Therapy Podcast co-hosted by Tony Overbay, LMFT, host of the award-winning The Virtual Couch podcast, as well as Waking Up to Narcissism, and Waking Up to Narcissism Q&A Premium Podcast and his daughter Sydney Overbay, CD (college dropout) is Available Now! Go follow, subscribe and sign up wherever you listen to podcasts. You can find Murder on the Couch on Spotify at https://open.spotify.com/show/6GJQeJxx4elDlcaW21JsvU?si=6787814df8d1409e or Apple Podcasts here https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/murder-on-the-couch/id1684487066
And please subscribe to The Virtual Couch YouTube channel where video episodes will be released https://www.youtube.com/@TheVirtualCouchPodcast
True or false? You only use 10 percent of your brain? Albert Einstein was a lousy student, and look how he turned out! Positive affirmations will lead you to self-love and happiness. To get the answers, you'll need to listen to this episode, but (spoiler alert) we are often building meaning and judging ourselves based on stories that aren't true and, in some cases, cause us to feel deep shame and fear. Tony talks about how certain myths around fear stunt our growth and what we can do to resolve our fears and doubts. Tony references "The Confidence Gap" https://amzn.to/3AuBPlb by Russ Harris for this episode.
Find all the latest links to podcasts, courses, Tony's newsletter, and more at https://linktr.ee/virtualcouch
Inside ACT for Anxiety Disorder Course is Open! Visit https://praxiscet.com/virtualcouch Inside ACT for Anxiety Disorders; Dr. Michael Twohig will teach you the industry-standard treatment used by anxiety-treatment experts around the world. Through 6 modules of clear instruction and clinical demonstrations, you will learn how to create opportunities for clients to practice psychological flexibility in the presence of anxiety.
After completing the course material, you'll have a new, highly effective anxiety treatment tool that can be used with every anxiety-related disorder, from OCD to panic disorder to generalized anxiety disorder.
And follow Tony on the Virtual Couch YouTube channel to see a sneak preview of his upcoming podcast "Murder on the Couch," where True Crime meets therapy, co-hosted with his daughter Sydney. You can watch a pre-release clip here https://youtu.be/-RkRq8SrQy0
Subscribe to Tony's latest podcast, "Waking Up to Narcissism Q&A - Premium Podcast," on the Apple Podcast App. https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/waking-up-to-narcissism-q-a/id1667287384
Go to http://tonyoverbay.com/workshop to sign up for Tony's "Magnetize Your Marriage" virtual workshop. The cost is only $19, and you'll learn the top 3 things you can do NOW to create a Magnetic Marriage.
You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program, The Path Back, by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to receive updates on upcoming programs and podcasts.
Tony mentioned a product that he used to take out all of the "uh's" and "um's" that, in his words, "must be created by wizards and magic!" because it's that good! To learn more about Descript, click here https://descript.com?lmref=bSWcEQ
Let's talk about S to the E-X, aka "intimacy." Dan Purcell, host of the "Get Your Marriage On" podcast as well as the "Intimately Us" app https://r.intimately.us/tonyoverbay joins Tony to talk about the mission that he, along with his wife Emily, share of strengthening marriages by helping them deepen their connection through both physical and emotional intimacy. They are the creator of the popular "Intimately Us" app that has been downloaded over 300,000 times. They host romantic retreat getaways for couples and host the "Get Your Marriage On! Podcast and coach couples on how to have a great sex life and deeper intimacy.
You can find out more about Dan and Emily at http://getyourmarriageon.com or on Instagram https://instagram.com/getyourmarriageon/
Find all the latest links to podcasts, courses, Tony's newsletter, and more at https://linktr.ee/virtualcouch
Inside ACT for Anxiety Disorder Course is Open! Visit https://praxiscet.com/virtualcouch Inside ACT for Anxiety Disorders; Dr. Michael Twohig will teach you the industry-standard treatment used by anxiety-treatment experts around the world. Through 6 modules of clear instruction and clinical demonstrations, you will learn how to create opportunities for clients to practice psychological flexibility in the presence of anxiety.
After completing the course material, you'll have a new, highly effective anxiety treatment tool that can be used with every anxiety-related disorder, from OCD to panic disorder to generalized anxiety disorder.
And follow Tony on the Virtual Couch YouTube channel to see a sneak preview of his upcoming podcast "Murder on the Couch," where True Crime meets therapy, co-hosted with his daughter Sydney. You can watch a pre-release clip here https://youtu.be/-RkRq8SrQy0
Subscribe to Tony's latest podcast, "Waking Up to Narcissism Q&A - Premium Podcast," on the Apple Podcast App. https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/waking-up-to-narcissism-q-a/id1667287384
Go to http://tonyoverbay.com/workshop to sign up for Tony's "Magnetize Your Marriage" virtual workshop. The cost is only $19, and you'll learn the top 3 things you can do NOW to create a Magnetic Marriage.
You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program, The Path Back, by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to receive updates on upcoming programs and podcasts.
Tony mentioned a product that he used to take out all of the "uh's" and "um's" that, in his words, "must be created by wizards and magic!" because it's that good! To learn more about Descript, click here https://descript.com?lmref=bSWcEQ
Childhood abandonment and neglect issues can manifest in seemingly unrelated ways in adulthood. In this episode, Tony helps you identify how they show up and how you can help your kids become more emotionally intelligent and resilient. Tony's muse today is an article by Jonice Webb, a licensed psychologist and author of two books, Running on Empty: Overcome Your Childhood Emotional Neglect https://amzn.to/3GewB03 and Running On Empty No More: Transform Your Relationships with Your Partner, Your Parents, and Your Children https://amzn.to/3m9fw0B He discusses the impact of emotional abandonment and neglect on your children and yourself. Why Emotional Neglect Can Feel Like Abandonment by Jonice Webb Ph.D. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/childhood-emotional-neglect/202303/why-emotional-neglect-can-feel-like-abandonment
Tony also references the article "Attachment Woes Between Anxious and Avoidant Partners" by Darlene Lancer, JD, LMFT from https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/toxic-relationships/202008/attachment-woes-between-anxious-and-avoidant-partners
Find all the latest links to podcasts, courses, Tony's newsletter, and more at https://linktr.ee/virtualcouch
Inside ACT for Anxiety Disorder Course is Open! Visit https://praxiscet.com/virtualcouch Inside ACT for Anxiety Disorders; Dr. Michael Twohig will teach you the industry-standard treatment used by anxiety-treatment experts around the world. Through 6 modules of clear instruction and clinical demonstrations, you will learn how to create opportunities for clients to practice psychological flexibility in the presence of anxiety.
After completing the course material, you'll have a new, highly effective anxiety treatment tool that can be used with every anxiety-related disorder, from OCD to panic disorder to generalized anxiety disorder.
And follow Tony on the Virtual Couch YouTube channel to see a sneak preview of his upcoming podcast "Murder on the Couch," where True Crime meets therapy, co-hosted with his daughter Sydney. You can watch a pre-release clip here https://youtu.be/-RkRq8SrQy0
Subscribe to Tony's latest podcast, "Waking Up to Narcissism Q&A - Premium Podcast," on the Apple Podcast App. https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/waking-up-to-narcissism-q-a/id1667287384
Go to http://tonyoverbay.com/workshop to sign up for Tony's "Magnetize Your Marriage" virtual workshop. The cost is only $19, and you'll learn the top 3 things you can do NOW to create a Magnetic Marriage.
You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program, The Path Back, by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to receive updates on upcoming programs and podcasts.
Tony mentioned a product that he used to take out all of the "uh's" and "um's" that, in his words, "must be created by wizards and magic!" because it's that good! To learn more about Descript, click here https://descript.com?lmref=bSWcEQ
Alexa (Overbay) Lovell survived a near-fatal accident a little over one year ago. She dives into the details of what the past year has been like, including recovery setbacks, unrealistic expectations, continued frustrations, the reality of potential addiction to pain medications, what the future looks like regarding having children, and much more.
Find all the latest links to podcasts, courses, Tony's newsletter, and more at https://linktr.ee/virtualcouch
Inside ACT for Anxiety Disorder Course is Open! Visit https://praxiscet.com/virtualcouch Inside ACT for Anxiety Disorders; Dr. Michael Twohig will teach you the industry-standard treatment used by anxiety-treatment experts around the world. Through 6 modules of clear instruction and clinical demonstrations, you will learn how to create opportunities for clients to practice psychological flexibility in the presence of anxiety.
After completing the course material, you'll have a new, highly effective anxiety treatment tool that can be used with every anxiety-related disorder, from OCD to panic disorder to generalized anxiety disorder.
And follow Tony on the Virtual Couch YouTube channel to see a sneak preview of his upcoming podcast "Murder on the Couch," where True Crime meets therapy, co-hosted with his daughter Sydney. You can watch a pre-release clip here https://youtu.be/-RkRq8SrQy0
Subscribe to Tony's latest podcast, "Waking Up to Narcissism Q&A - Premium Podcast," on the Apple Podcast App. https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/waking-up-to-narcissism-q-a/id1667287384
Go to http://tonyoverbay.com/workshop to sign up for Tony's "Magnetize Your Marriage" virtual workshop. The cost is only $19, and you'll learn the top 3 things you can do NOW to create a Magnetic Marriage.
You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program, The Path Back, by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to receive updates on upcoming programs and podcasts.
Tony mentioned a product that he used to take out all of the "uh's" and "um's" that, in his words, "must be created by wizards and magic!" because it's that good! To learn more about Descript, click here https://descript.com?lmref=bSWcEQ
Zlatko "Z" Bijelic is an entrepreneur, podcaster, app developer, dog dad, former college soccer player, and foodie. He has now journaled daily for over a year and is also a highly sought-after business coach and consultant. Simply put, while Z may appear like somebody who easily takes's life's lemons and makes them into lemonade, he has been through some really high ups, and really down downs in his life, but he continues to take what life gives him and uses it to change and innovate.
You can learn more about Z at www.twitter.com/zbijelic
www.linkedin.com/in/zbijelic www.zlatkobijelic.com
And please sign up for Zlatko's newsletter at https://zlatkobijelic.com/newsletter
Find all the latest links to podcasts, courses, Tony's newsletter, and more at https://linktr.ee/virtualcouch
Inside ACT for Anxiety Disorder Course is Open! Visit https://praxiscet.com/virtualcouch Inside ACT for Anxiety Disorders; Dr. Michael Twohig will teach you the industry-standard treatment used by anxiety-treatment experts around the world. Through 6 modules of clear instruction and clinical demonstrations, you will learn how to create opportunities for clients to practice psychological flexibility in the presence of anxiety.
After completing the course material, you'll have a new, highly effective anxiety treatment tool that can be used with every anxiety-related disorder, from OCD to panic disorder to generalized anxiety disorder.
And follow Tony on the Virtual Couch YouTube channel to see a sneak preview of his upcoming podcast "Murder on the Couch," where True Crime meets therapy, co-hosted with his daughter Sydney. You can watch a pre-release clip here https://youtu.be/-RkRq8SrQy0
Subscribe to Tony's latest podcast, "Waking Up to Narcissism Q&A - Premium Podcast," on the Apple Podcast App. https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/waking-up-to-narcissism-q-a/id1667287384
Go to http://tonyoverbay.com/workshop to sign up for Tony's "Magnetize Your Marriage" virtual workshop. The cost is only $19, and you'll learn the top 3 things you can do NOW to create a Magnetic Marriage.
You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program, The Path Back, by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to receive updates on upcoming programs and podcasts.
Tony mentioned a product that he used to take out all of the "uh's" and "um's" that, in his words, "must be created by wizards and magic!" because it's that good! To learn more about Descript, click here https://descript.com?lmref=bSWcEQ
Tony gives a "state of the union" address on working with people struggling with turning to pornography as a coping mechanism. He then interviews Chandler Rogers, CEO of Relay, an app that helps people stay connected and accountable on their recovery journey. Relay makes it easy to connect with a shame-free support group, an essential tool helping access recovery tools.
Chandler personally overcame a struggle with compulsive pornography use and then used his experience to give back to others by creating a group-based recovery app called Relay for people seeking freedom from unwanted sexual behavior. He built what he wished he had during his healing journey - tools to manage recovery goals, an SOS button to reach out when feeling triggered, and a system for accountability with peers, all in a private safe space.
Learn more about Relay and try a recovery group for free today: https://bit.ly/virtualcouch-relay
Find all the latest links to podcasts, courses, Tony's newsletter, and more at https://linktr.ee/virtualcouch
Inside ACT for Anxiety Disorder Course is Open! Visit https://praxiscet.com/virtualcouch Inside ACT for Anxiety Disorders, Dr. Michael Twohig will teach you the industry-standard treatment anxiety-treatment experts use worldwide. Through 6 modules of clear instruction and clinical demonstrations, you will learn how to create opportunities for clients to practice psychological flexibility in the presence of anxiety.
After completing the course material, you'll have a new, highly effective anxiety treatment tool that can be used with every anxiety-related disorder, from OCD to panic disorder to generalized anxiety disorder.
And follow Tony on the Virtual Couch YouTube channel for a sneak preview of his upcoming podcast "Murder on the Couch," where True Crime meets therapy, co-hosted with his daughter Sydney. You can watch a pre-release clip here https://youtu.be/-RkRq8SrQy0
Subscribe to Tony's latest podcast, "Waking Up to Narcissism Q&A - Premium Podcast," on the Apple Podcast App. https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/waking-up-to-narcissism-q-a/id1667287384
Go to http://tonyoverbay.com/workshop to sign up for Tony's "Magnetize Your Marriage" virtual workshop. The cost is only $19, and you'll learn the top 3 things you can do NOW to create a Magnetic Marriage.
You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program, The Path Back, by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to receive updates on upcoming programs and podcasts.
Tony mentioned a product that he used to take out all of the "uh's" and "um's" that, in his words, "must be created by wizards and magic!" because it's that good! To learn more about Descript, click here https://descript.com?lmref=bSWcEQ
Tony welcomes Dr. Jennifer Finlayson-Fife back to The Virtual Couch for the 5th time! They discuss a variety of topics, including ADHD, the challenge of helping couples envision a version of a relationship they haven't seen modeled or experienced, narcissism and emotional immaturity, and how to help a spouse "lean in" when they see their partner begin to show up differently in a relationship where the spouse had previously felt unseen. They explore Emotionally Focused Therapy, the differentiation models of couples therapy, and the role of self-confrontation not only for their clients but also in their own lives and relationships.
Jennifer is a Licensed Clinical Professional Counselor with a Ph.D. in Counseling Psychology. She focuses primarily on teaching couples and individuals how to strengthen their relationships, overcome relational and sexual roadblocks, and increase their capacity for intimacy, love, and sexual expression. You can learn more about Jennifer at https://www.finlayson-fife.com/, where she offers online courses and her subscription-based podcast “Room For Two.”
Find all the latest links to podcasts, courses, Tony's newsletter, and more at https://linktr.ee/virtualcouch
Inside ACT for Anxiety Disorder Course is Open! Visit https://praxiscet.com/virtualcouch Inside ACT for Anxiety Disorders; Dr. Michael Twohig will teach you the industry-standard treatment anxiety-treatment experts use worldwide. Through 6 modules of clear instruction and clinical demonstrations, you will learn how to create opportunities for clients to practice psychological flexibility in the presence of anxiety.
After completing the course material, you'll have a new, highly effective anxiety treatment tool that can be used with every anxiety-related disorder, from OCD to panic disorder to generalized anxiety disorder.
And follow Tony on the Virtual Couch YouTube channel for a sneak preview of his upcoming podcast "Murder on the Couch," where True Crime meets therapy, co-hosted with his daughter Sydney. Check out a trailer for the podcast here https://youtu.be/s7K8dqJ0uD0 and you can watch a pre-release clip here https://youtu.be/-RkRq8SrQy0
Subscribe to Tony's latest podcast, "Waking Up to Narcissism Q&A - Premium Podcast," on the Apple Podcast App. https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/waking-up-to-narcissism-q-a/id1667287384
Go to http://tonyoverbay.com/workshop to sign up for Tony's "Magnetize Your Marriage" virtual workshop. The cost is only $19, and you'll learn the top 3 things you can do NOW to create a Magnetic Marriage.
You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program, The Path Back, by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to receive updates on upcoming programs and podcasts.
Tony mentioned a product that he used to take out all of the "uh's" and "um's" that, in his words, "must be created by wizards and magic!" because it's that good! To learn more about Descript, click here https://descript.com?lmref=bSWcEQ
Dr. Stephen Hayes, the founder of the groundbreaking therapy technique Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT), says, “If you’re not willing to have it, then you will.” Have what, you might ask? Anything you are trying to get rid of, from anxiety and depression to fear and loss. So what if the key to overcoming your anxiety was to welcome your anxiety in with arms wide open? You might think to yourself, “I’m willing to do that if embracing anxiety will eventually help me get rid of it!” But if that is why you’re doing it, you will continue to be anxious. Tony shares his thoughts on one of the most important yet paradoxical parts of ACT, “Acceptance and Willingness,” from Dr. Hayes's book “Get Out of Your Mind and Into Your Life,” https://amzn.to/421Qssr
Find all the latest links to podcasts, courses, Tony's newsletter, and more at https://linktr.ee/virtualcouch
Inside ACT for Anxiety Disorder Course is Open! Visit https://praxiscet.com/virtualcouch Inside ACT for Anxiety Disorders, Dr. Michael Twohig will teach you the industry-standard treatment used by anxiety-treatment experts worldwide. Through 6 modules of clear instruction and clinical demonstrations, you will learn how to create opportunities for clients to practice psychological flexibility in the presence of anxiety.
After completing the course material, you'll have a new, highly effective anxiety treatment tool that can be used with every anxiety-related disorder, from OCD to panic disorder to generalized anxiety disorder.
And follow Tony on the Virtual Couch YouTube channel for a sneak preview of his upcoming podcast "Murder on the Couch," where True Crime meets therapy, co-hosted with his daughter Sydney. You can watch a pre-release clip here https://youtu.be/-RkRq8SrQy0
Subscribe to Tony's latest podcast, "Waking Up to Narcissism Q&A - Premium Podcast," on the Apple Podcast App. https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/waking-up-to-narcissism-q-a/id1667287384
Go to http://tonyoverbay.com/workshop to sign up for Tony's "Magnetize Your Marriage" virtual workshop. The cost is only $19, and you'll learn the top 3 things you can do NOW to create a Magnetic Marriage.
You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program, The Path Back, by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to receive updates on upcoming programs and podcasts.
Tony mentioned a product that he used to take out all of the "uh's" and "um's" that, in his words, "must be created by wizards and magic!" because it's that good! To learn more about Descript, click here https://descript.com?lmref=bSWcEQ
Does smiling make you happier? Can you truly predict the long-term success of an adult based on their love, or lack thereof, of marshmallows in their youth? Is depression always linked to a chemical imbalance in the brain? Tony takes a look at 8 popular psychology studies and concepts and shares the latest research on whether or not the findings of the past still hold true. Tony references the article: "Pop psychology: Eight myths that are probably wrong, or at least wildly overly simplistic" by Christian Jarrett https://www.sciencefocus.com/the-human-body/pop-psychology-eight-myths-that-are-probably-wrong-or-at-least-wildly-overly-simplistic/
Find all the latest links to podcasts, courses, Tony's newsletter, and more at https://linktr.ee/virtualcouch
Inside ACT for Anxiety Disorder Course is Open! Visit https://praxiscet.com/virtualcouch Inside ACT for Anxiety Disorders, Dr. Michael Twohig will teach you the industry-standard treatment used by anxiety-treatment experts worldwide. Through 6 modules of clear instruction and clinical demonstrations, you will learn how to create opportunities for clients to practice psychological flexibility in the presence of anxiety.
After completing the course material, you'll have a new, highly effective anxiety treatment tool that can be used with every anxiety-related disorder, from OCD to panic disorder to generalized anxiety disorder.
And follow Tony on the Virtual Couch YouTube channel for a sneak preview of his upcoming podcast "Murder on the Couch," where True Crime meets therapy, co-hosted with his daughter Sydney. You can watch a pre-release clip here https://youtu.be/-RkRq8SrQy0
Subscribe to Tony's latest podcast, "Waking Up to Narcissism Q&A - Premium Podcast," on the Apple Podcast App. https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/waking-up-to-narcissism-q-a/id1667287384
Go to http://tonyoverbay.com/workshop to sign up for Tony's "Magnetize Your Marriage" virtual workshop. The cost is only $19, and you'll learn the top 3 things you can do NOW to create a Magnetic Marriage.
You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program, The Path Back, by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to receive updates on upcoming programs and podcasts.
Tony mentioned a product that he used to take out all of the "uh's" and "um's" that, in his words, "must be created by wizards and magic!" because it's that good! To learn more about Descript, click here https://descript.com?lmref=bSWcEQ
Did you know that more than 40 percent of everything you do is habitual? Are you addicted to your phone or social media? Or are you simply responding to a well-worn neurological cue/reward pattern? Tony discusses the latest in habit research from the article "How to Conquer Your Primitive Brain" by Adam Piore. https://apple.news/A9pURuj3OQL-UNnUw6bnn9A
Find all the latest links to podcasts, courses, Tony's newsletter, and more at https://linktr.ee/virtualcouch
Inside ACT for Anxiety Disorder Course is Open! Visit https://praxiscet.com/virtualcouch Inside ACT for Anxiety Disorders, Dr. Michael Twohig will teach you the industry-standard treatment used by anxiety-treatment experts worldwide. Through 6 modules of clear instruction and clinical demonstrations, you will learn how to create opportunities for clients to practice psychological flexibility in the presence of anxiety.
After completing the course material, you'll have a new, highly effective anxiety treatment tool that can be used with every anxiety-related disorder, from OCD to panic disorder to generalized anxiety disorder.
And follow Tony on the Virtual Couch YouTube channel for a sneak preview of his upcoming podcast "Murder on the Couch," where True Crime meets therapy, co-hosted with his daughter Sydney. You can watch a pre-release clip here https://youtu.be/-RkRq8SrQy0
Subscribe to Tony's latest podcast, "Waking Up to Narcissism Q&A - Premium Podcast," on the Apple Podcast App. https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/waking-up-to-narcissism-q-a/id1667287384
Go to http://tonyoverbay.com/workshop to sign up for Tony's "Magnetize Your Marriage" virtual workshop. The cost is only $19, and you'll learn the top 3 things you can do NOW to create a Magnetic Marriage.
You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program, The Path Back, by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to receive updates on upcoming programs and podcasts.
Tony mentioned a product that he used to take out all of the "uh's" and "um's" that, in his words, "must be created by wizards and magic!" because it's that good! To learn more about Descript, click here https://descript.com?lmref=bSWcEQ
Tony dissects a couple's potentially destructive conversation, examining discomfort and anxiety's role in our relationships. He also talks about the challenges of relying on memory when attempting to have difficult conversations.
And follow Tony on the Virtual Couch YouTube channel to see a sneak preview of his upcoming podcast "Murder on the Couch," where True Crime meets therapy, co-hosted with his daughter Sydney. You can watch a pre-release clip here https://youtu.be/-RkRq8SrQy0
Subscribe to Tony's latest podcast, "Waking Up to Narcissism Q&A - Premium Podcast," on the Apple Podcast App. https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/waking-up-to-narcissism-q-a/id1667287384
Go to http://tonyoverbay.com/workshop to sign up for Tony's "Magnetize Your Marriage" virtual workshop. The cost is only $19, and you'll learn the top 3 things you can do NOW to create a Magnetic Marriage.
You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program, The Path Back, by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to receive updates on upcoming programs and podcasts.
Tony mentioned a product that he used to take out all of the "uh's" and "um's" that, in his words, "must be created by wizards and magic!" because it's that good! To learn more about Descript, click here https://descript.com?lmref=bSWcEQ
Tony welcomes Camila Smith, LCSW, to the Virtual Couch. Camila is a psychotherapist, educator, and the Chief Clinical Officer of Bekome (http://joinbekome.co). Camila specializes in gut health, with an advanced doctoral focus in mental health and clinical nutrition. Tony and Camila talk about the current state of the mental health system as practitioners which often view mental health as solely in the brain. They discuss a more integrated view of mental wellness, including Camila’s passion for taking a more holistic view, including not only therapy and exercise but, more importantly, nutrition and understanding the role that your gut health plays in mental well-being, especially concerning anxiety.
Learn more about Bekome, and its customized supplements by visiting http://joinbekome.co). You can get 30% off Bekome’s customized supplements by using code Tony30 at checkout.
And follow Tony on the Virtual Couch YouTube channel to see a sneak preview of his upcoming podcast "Murder on the Couch," where True Crime meets therapy, co-hosted with his daughter Sydney. You can watch a pre-release clip here https://youtu.be/-RkRq8SrQy0
Subscribe to Tony's latest podcast, "Waking Up to Narcissism Q&A - Premium Podcast," on the Apple Podcast App. https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/waking-up-to-narcissism-q-a/id1667287384
Go to http://tonyoverbay.com/workshop to sign up for Tony's "Magnetize Your Marriage" virtual workshop. The cost is only $19, and you'll learn the top 3 things you can do NOW to create a Magnetic Marriage.
You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program, The Path Back, by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to receive updates on upcoming programs and podcasts.
Tony mentioned a product that he used to take out all of the "uh's" and "um's" that, in his words, "must be created by wizards and magic!" because it's that good! To learn more about Descript, click here https://descript.com?lmref=bSWcEQ
Virtual Couch favorite and Tony's daughter, McKinley "Mackie" Overbay, joins the podcast to talk about some big changes happening in her life and how she has been able to do difficult, scary things despite having "all of the emotions." You can follow Mackie on Instagram @beautybymackie and mention the Virtual Couch Podcast for $10 off any service with Mackie.
And follow Tony on the Virtual Couch YouTube channel to see a sneak preview of his upcoming podcast "Murder on the Couch," where True Crime meets therapy, co-hosted with his daughter Sydney. You can watch a pre-release clip here https://youtu.be/-RkRq8SrQy0
Subscribe to Tony's latest podcast, "Waking Up to Narcissism Q&A - Premium Podcast," on the Apple Podcast App. https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/waking-up-to-narcissism-q-a/id1667287384
Go to http://tonyoverbay.com/workshop to sign up for Tony's "Magnetize Your Marriage" virtual workshop. The cost is only $19, and you'll learn the top 3 things you can do NOW to create a Magnetic Marriage.
You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program, The Path Back, by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to receive updates on upcoming programs and podcasts.
Tony mentioned a product that he used to take out all of the "uh's" and "um's" that, in his words, "must be created by wizards and magic!" because it's that good! To learn more about Descript, click here https://descript.com?lmref=bSWcEQ
Exercise, meditation, prayer, and eating good food all sound like wonderful, emotional-baseline-raising activities. But depending on how you're doing them, they could also be a way to eliminate unwanted thoughts and feelings. Tony looks at "creative helplessness" and "emotional control strategies" and how they play into our search for happiness. Tony references Russ Harris' book ACT Made Simple https://amzn.to/3l3NeDJ
And follow Tony on the Virtual Couch YouTube channel to see a sneak preview of his upcoming podcast "Murder on the Couch," where True Crime meets therapy, co-hosted with his daughter Sydney. You can watch a pre-release clip here https://youtu.be/-RkRq8SrQy0
Subscribe to Tony's latest podcast, "Waking Up to Narcissism Q&A - Premium Podcast," on the Apple Podcast App. https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/waking-up-to-narcissism-q-a/id1667287384
Go to http://tonyoverbay.com/workshop to sign up for Tony's "Magnetize Your Marriage" virtual workshop. The cost is only $19, and you'll learn the top 3 things you can do NOW to create a Magnetic Marriage.
You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program, The Path Back, by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to receive updates on upcoming programs and podcasts.
Tony mentioned a product that he used to take out all of the "uh's" and "um's" that, in his words, "must be created by wizards and magic!" because it's that good! To learn more about Descript, click here https://descript.com?lmref=bSWcEQ
Tony shares new information from a recent speaking event addressing the challenges of navigating a faith journey. He talks about how difficult it is to understand any experience in life until you have gone through something similar; how hard-wired we are only to see things through our lens; how "non-violent communication" impacts our ability to separate an observation we have of someone else's behavior from our judgment; our strong desire to avoid feelings of anxiety and discomfort; and how James Fowler's Stages of Faith can provide a framework to understand ones own faith journey, as well as put others struggle with someone close experiencing a faith journey.
And follow Tony on the Virtual Couch YouTube channel to see a sneak preview of his upcoming podcast "Murder on the Couch," where True Crime meets therapy, co-hosted with his daughter Sydney. You can watch a pre-release clip here https://youtu.be/-RkRq8SrQy0
Subscribe to Tony's latest podcast, "Waking Up to Narcissism Q&A - Premium Podcast," on the Apple Podcast App. https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/waking-up-to-narcissism-q-a/id1667287384
Go to http://tonyoverbay.com/workshop to sign up for Tony's "Magnetize Your Marriage" virtual workshop. The cost is only $19, and you'll learn the top 3 things you can do NOW to create a Magnetic Marriage.
You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program, The Path Back, by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to receive updates on upcoming programs and podcasts.
Tony mentioned a product that he used to take out all of the "uh's" and "um's" that, in his words, "must be created by wizards and magic!" because it's that good! To learn more about Descript, click here https://descript.com?lmref=bSWcEQ
Tony shares and responds to the article “The 10 Best Predictors of a Bad Romantic Relationship” by Seth Gillihan, PhD https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/think-act-be/202301/the-10-best-predictors-of-a-bad-romantic-relationship Tony also references the article “Attachment Woes Between Anxious and Avoidant Partners,” by Darlene Lancer, JD, LMFT https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/toxic-relationships/202008/attachment-woes-between-anxious-and-avoidant-partners And follow Tony on the Virtual Couch YouTube channel to see a sneak preview of his upcoming podcast “Murder on the Couch,” where True Crime meets therapy, co-hosted with his daughter Sydney. You can watch a pre-release clip here https://youtu.be/-RkRq8SrQy0
Go to http://tonyoverbay.com/workshop to sign up for Tony's "Magnetize Your Marriage" virtual workshop. The cost is only $19, and you'll learn the top 3 things you can do NOW to create a Magnetic Marriage.
You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program, The Path Back, by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to receive updates on upcoming programs and podcasts.
Tony mentioned a product that he used to take out all of the "uh's" and "um's" that, in his words, "must be created by wizards and magic!" because it's that good! To learn more about Descript, click here https://descript.com?lmref=bSWcEQ
"If you feel safe and loved, your brain becomes specialized in exploration, play, and cooperation; if you are frightened and unwanted, it specializes in managing feelings of fear and abandonment," says Bessel van der Kolk, author of The Body Keeps the Score (https://amzn.to/3QtMBPG). In today's episode, Tony explores what unresolved trauma can look like in adult relationships and what steps can be taken to overcome trauma and rewire the brain for connection. Tony completes the long-awaited part 2 of his review of "The Body Keeps the Score." You can find part 1 at https://www.tonyoverbay.com/how-trauma-impacts-us-all-the-body-keeps-the-score-review-pt1/
Go to http://tonyoverbay.com/workshop to sign up for Tony's "Magnetize Your Marriage" virtual workshop. The cost is only $19, and you'll learn the top 3 things you can do NOW to create a Magnetic Marriage.
You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program, The Path Back, by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to receive updates on upcoming programs and podcasts.
Tony mentioned a product that he used to take out all of the "uh's" and "um's" that, in his words, "must be created by wizards and magic!" because it's that good! To learn more about Descript, click here https://descript.com?lmref=bSWcEQ
Tony shares 8 mental health lessons learned from a Christmas spent at Disneyland. 1) You’ll never really know something until you experience it. 2) Churros provide an immediate but temporary dopamine dump. 3) How to come back to the present moment, over and over again. 4) How easy it can be to find yourself turning to unhealthy coping mechanisms when triggered suddenly. 5) What it looks like to turn to a value-based activity or goal when feeling down, flat, off, or all of the above. 6) Radical acceptance, or the ability to accept situations outside of your control without judgment, reduces suffering. (from “What is Radical Acceptance https://www.verywellmind.com/what-is-radical-acceptance-5120614) 7) Psychological flexibility, or “holding our thoughts and emotions a bit more lightly, and acting on longer-term values and goals rather than short term impulses, thoughts, and feelings” can lead to a greater sense of purpose and a stronger connection with the present moment (from “What is Psychological Flexibility https://workingwithact.com/what-is-act/what-is-psychological-flexibility/) and 8) From Virtual Couch guest Mike Rucker, author of “The Fun Habit,” https://amzn.to/3ClRTXG doing things, or “encoding richer experiences,” starts to light you up because you are creating an internal “tapestry of really cool stuff,” in your brain rather than simply passing time.
If you are interested in being coached in Tony's upcoming "Magnetic Marriage Podcast," please email him for more information. You will receive free marriage coaching and remain anonymous when the episode airs.
Go to http://tonyoverbay.com/workshop to sign up for Tony's "Magnetize Your Marriage" virtual workshop. The cost is only $19, and you'll learn the top 3 things you can do NOW to create a Magnetic Marriage.
You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program, The Path Back, by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to receive updates on upcoming programs and podcasts.
Tony mentioned a product that he used to take out all of the "uh's" and "um's" that, in his words, "must be created by wizards and magic!" because it's that good! To learn more about Descript, click here https://descript.com?lmref=bSWcEQ
Happy New Year! Whether or not you may be thinking about setting New Year’s resolutions or goals, or you absolutely detest the entire concept around goals and resolutions, this episode is for you. In this special bonus episode, Tony welcomes Neal Hooper, creator of The Achievement Tribe, a comprehensive goal achievement experience, to the Virtual Couch to talk about all things goal-related. Tony and Neal discuss why how people typically talk about and set goals eventually leads to feelings of frustration, inadequacy, and often shame. They discuss the importance of putting your values behind a goal and how to move forward even if you find yourself back to familiar patterns of feeling unmotivated or stuck.
You can find out more about Neal's Achievement Tribe here https://www.achievementtribe.co/a/2147501224/zbdmeGhs
If you are interested in being coached in Tony's upcoming "Magnetic Marriage Podcast," please email him for more information. You will receive free marriage coaching and remain anonymous when the episode airs.
Go to http://tonyoverbay.com/workshop to sign up for Tony's "Magnetize Your Marriage" virtual workshop. The cost is only $19, and you'll learn the top 3 things you can do NOW to create a Magnetic Marriage.
You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program, The Path Back, by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to receive updates on upcoming programs and podcasts.
Tony mentioned a product that he used to take out all of the "uh's" and "um's" that, in his words, "must be created by wizards and magic!" because it's that good! To learn more about Descript, click here https://descript.com?lmref=bSWcEQ
Tony interviews Michael Rucker, Ph.D. In 2016, Michael experienced a series of serious setbacks that caused him to challenge the tools he had built over the previous two decades as a student of positive psychology. Ultimately finding himself “unhappy, a bit lonely, and burnt out,” Michael critically evaluated modern approaches to happiness. He quickly realized how much misinformation was being spread, and that caused Michael to spend the next few years researching the evidence-based practices that ultimately led him to discover the real way to “invite more fun and joy” into his life. Michael's book, “The Fun Habit: How the Pursuit of Joy and Wonder Can Change Your Life,” https://amzn.to/3jAtln8 is the result of his journey. You can learn more about Michael at his website https://michaelrucker.com/
If you are interested in being coached in Tony's upcoming "Magnetic Marriage Podcast," please email him for more information. You will receive free marriage coaching and remain anonymous when the episode airs.
Go to http://tonyoverbay.com/workshop to sign up for Tony's "Magnetize Your Marriage" virtual workshop. The cost is only $19, and you'll learn the top 3 things you can do NOW to create a Magnetic Marriage.
You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program, The Path Back, by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to receive updates on upcoming programs and podcasts.
Tony mentioned a product that he used to take out all of the "uh's" and "um's" that, in his words, "must be created by wizards and magic!" because it's that good! To learn more about Descript, click here https://descript.com?lmref=bSWcEQ
Henry Ford once said, “Whether you think you can or think you can’t, you’re right.” Tony Overbay, LMFT, welcomes Nate Christensen, APCC, back to the Virtual Couch for his 6th appearance. Tony and Nate discuss David Robson’s book “The Expectation Effect: How Your Mindset Can Change Your Word,” https://amzn.to/3vbtTCl
Robson calls our brains “prediction machines” and says, “It turns out our brains constantly anticipate what will happen next, and this script is incredibly powerful. This does not mean, as some self-help exponents suggest, anything bad is the fault of the individual or that we can just ask the universe for whatever outcome we want; however, there appears to be some benefit in reframing experiences when our beliefs may not be helping us.” Tony and Nate give several examples from the book on the power of mindset, both positive and negative, and then give some tips on how to set yourself up best to take advantage of the power of the brain.
Nate Christensen hosts a podcast called “Working Change” along with his wife Marla, and you can contact Nate through Tony’s website using the contact form at http://tonyoverbay.com
If you are interested in being coached in Tony's upcoming "Magnetic Marriage Podcast," please email him for more information. You will receive free marriage coaching and remain anonymous when the episode airs.
Go to http://tonyoverbay.com/workshop to sign up for Tony's "Magnetize Your Marriage" virtual workshop. The cost is only $19, and you'll learn the top 3 things you can do NOW to create a Magnetic Marriage.
You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program, The Path Back, by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to receive updates on upcoming programs and podcasts.
Tony mentioned a product that he used to take out all of the "uh's" and "um's" that, in his words, "must be created by wizards and magic!" because it's that good! To learn more about Descript, click here https://descript.com?lmref=bSWcEQ
Tony tackles an essential skill needed for lasting change, "cognitive flexibility," from the book ACT Made Simple - Second Edition by Russ Harris https://amzn.to/3FsneJ0
If you are interested in being coached in Tony's upcoming "Magnetic Marriage Podcast," please email him for more information. You will receive free marriage coaching and remain anonymous when the episode airs.
Go to http://tonyoverbay.com/workshop to sign up for Tony's "Magnetize Your Marriage" virtual workshop. The cost is only $19, and you'll learn the top 3 things you can do NOW to create a Magnetic Marriage.
You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program, The Path Back, by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to receive updates on upcoming programs and podcasts.
Tony mentioned a product that he used to take out all of the "uh's" and "um's" that, in his words, "must be created by wizards and magic!" because it's that good! To learn more about Descript, click here https://descript.com?lmref=bSWcEQ
You can't run marathons after 50! You can't change your career after you've invested so much time and energy into it! Dads don't get all up in their feelings! Says who? Our pasts, our brains, our lack of understanding, that's who! Tony explores the psychology of limiting beliefs and how the stories we learn in our youth can heavily influence how we live life...until we realize we have an unlimited amount of possibility in front of us once we lose the limiting beliefs.
Tony references the article How to Change Self-Limiting Beliefs According to Psychology by Nicole Celestine, Ph.D. https://positivepsychology.com/false-beliefs/
If you are interested in being coached in Tony's upcoming "Magnetic Marriage Podcast," please email him for more information. You will receive free marriage coaching and remain anonymous when the episode airs.
Go to http://tonyoverbay.com/workshop to sign up for Tony's "Magnetize Your Marriage" virtual workshop. The cost is only $19, and you'll learn the top 3 things you can do NOW to create a Magnetic Marriage.
You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program, The Path Back, by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to receive updates on upcoming programs and podcasts.
Tony mentioned a product that he used to take out all of the "uh's" and "um's" that, in his words, "must be created by wizards and magic!" because it's that good! To learn more about Descript, click here https://descript.com?lmref=bSWcEQ
Dr. Michael Twohig joins Tony to talk about his early involvement in the then “new kid on the psychology block,” acceptance and commitment therapy (ACT). Dr. Twohig shares his initial hesitation in embracing ACT and what eventually led him to pursue his Ph.D. in clinical psychology by working with Dr. Stephen Hayes, the founder of ACT. He discusses the differences in using ACT to treat OCD vs. the traditional CBT-based model, and they talk about using metaphor in ACT. Tony shares his experience of how learning ACT changed his therapy practice and his general outlook on life. They discuss the differences between using diffusion in ACT to make room for thoughts and feelings vs. responding to the body’s cues concerning treating trauma.
They talk about Dr. Twohig’s new online course on ACT and OCD https://praxiscet.com/virtualcouch and the challenges of marketing an online course. Finally, Tony challenges Dr. Twohig to a “try not to laugh” challenge.
Dr. Michael Twohig is a licensed psychologist, a professor at Utah State University, and one of the world’s most published scholars of Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT). Dr. Twohig’s research focuses on using ACT across various clinical presentations emphasizing OCD and related disorders. He has published five books and more than 200 scholarly works and is the former President of the Association of Contextual Behavioral Science, the organization most associated with Acceptance and Commitment Therapy https://contextualscience.org/
You can find out more about Dr. Twohig via his Utah State University page https://cehs.usu.edu/scce/clinicians/twohig-michael or his private practice website https://junipermh.com/team/michael-twohig/
If you are interested in being coached in Tony's upcoming "Magnetic Marriage Podcast," please email him for more information. You will receive free marriage coaching and remain anonymous when the episode airs.
Go to http://tonyoverbay.com/workshop to sign up for Tony's "Magnetize Your Marriage" virtual workshop. The cost is only $19, and you'll learn the top 3 things you can do NOW to create a Magnetic Marriage.
You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program, The Path Back, by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to receive updates on upcoming programs and podcasts.
Tony mentioned a product that he used to take out all of the "uh's" and "um's" that, in his words, "must be created by wizards and magic!" because it's that good! To learn more about Descript, click here https://descript.com?lmref=bSWcEQ
The science is solid; gratitude makes you poop! We often hear that we need to be more grateful to truly be happy. Is gratitude simply born of pop-psychology psychobabble, or is it actually an evidence-based way to improve our lives? Tony flushes out the details on how being more intentional about gratitude can improve your mental and physical health and can lead to less time in the bathroom. Tony also shares the story of why he still holds one of the top running times from Sycamore Street to the Covell loop in Davis, CA (yes, it too has to do with pooping).
Tony references the article “The Science of Gratitude: How Thankfulness Impacts Our Brains and Business” by Kevin Kruse https://www.forbes.com/sites/kevinkruse/2021/11/22/the-science-of-gratitude-how-thankfulness-impacts-our-brains-and-business/?sh=75faa7e720cc as well as “The Science of Gratitude” by Misty Pratt https://www.mindful.org/the-science-of-gratitude/
If you are interested in being coached in Tony's upcoming "Magnetic Marriage Podcast," please email him for more information. You will receive free marriage coaching and remain anonymous when the episode airs.
Go to http://tonyoverbay.com/workshop to sign up for Tony's "Magnetize Your Marriage" virtual workshop. The cost is only $19, and you'll learn the top 3 things you can do NOW to create a Magnetic Marriage.
You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program, The Path Back, by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to receive updates on upcoming programs and podcasts.
Tony mentioned a product that he used to take out all of the "uh's" and "um's" that, in his words, "must be created by wizards and magic!" because it's that good! To learn more about Descript, click here https://descript.com?lmref=bSWcEQ
Thanks for a slight error in uploading the correct file on Tony's "Waking Up to Narcissism" podcast; he shares the correct episode as a "crossover" on The Virtual Couch. Tony adds "The Mailbox Metaphor," a powerful Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) metaphor about how we decide to look at the "clutter" of our virtual, physical, or mental inboxes. Can communication be a form of violence? According to communication expert Marshall Rosenberg, it can if you consider "violence" to include attempts at cutting others down to size and/or coercing them into doing what we want. Tony discusses "Nonviolent Communication," and the importance of separating an observation from a judgment, something narcissists or highly emotionally immature people struggle to do to manage their own anxiety.
Tony references Pamela Hobart's review of Marshall Rosenberg's book Nonviolent Communication: A Language of Life https://fourminutebooks.com/nonviolent-communication-summary/
If you are interested in being coached in Tony's upcoming "Magnetic Marriage Podcast," please email him for more information. You will receive free marriage coaching and remain anonymous when the episode airs.
Go to http://tonyoverbay.com/workshop to sign up for Tony's "Magnetize Your Marriage" virtual workshop. The cost is only $19, and you'll learn the top 3 things you can do NOW to create a Magnetic Marriage.
You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program, The Path Back, by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to receive updates on upcoming programs and podcasts.
Tony mentioned a product that he used to take out all of the "uh's" and "um's" that, in his words, "must be created by wizards and magic!" because it's that good! To learn more about Descript, click here https://descript.com?lmref=bSWcEQ
When met with an unexpected situation, do you react or respond? And what is the difference? According to Dr. Matt James, while some people use the words interchangeably, there is a world of difference in their meanings. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/focus-forgiveness/201609/react-vs-respond Tony shares a story of showing up late to a recent speaking opportunity where he learned whether or not he was more prone to reaction or response.
Tony shares the results of taking the Implicit Association Test (IAT) https://implicit.harvard.edu/implicit/ and discusses how understanding how we give meaning to certain people and situations contributes to how we react or how we respond. And Tony also references Marshal Rosenberg’s book “Nonviolent Communication: A Language of Life: Life-Changing Tools for Healthy Relationships (Nonviolent Communication Guides)” https://amzn.to/3EjVZkx
If you are interested in being coached in Tony's upcoming "Magnetic Marriage Podcast," please email him for more information. You will receive free marriage coaching and remain anonymous when the episode airs.
Go to http://tonyoverbay.com/workshop to sign up for Tony's "Magnetize Your Marriage" virtual workshop. The cost is only $19, and you'll learn the top 3 things you can do NOW to create a Magnetic Marriage.
You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program, The Path Back, by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to receive updates on upcoming programs and podcasts.
Tony mentioned a product that he used to take out all of the "uh's" and "um's" that, in his words, "must be created by wizards and magic!" because it's that good! To learn more about Descript, click here https://descript.com?lmref=bSWcEQ
How do you know what you don’t know? Tony shares an example of what it feels like to speak to a group of people when you seek validation versus speaking because you care deeply about the topic you are presenting. Often we hear people talk about being authentic, but what does that look like in real life, and what additional benefits come when you live and operate from a place of authenticity? Tony also discusses what it means to stand in your “healthy ego” vs. “pathological defensive narcissism,” and finally, he discusses Marshall Rosenberg’s book Nonviolent Communication: A Language of Life from a summary by Pamela Hobart https://fourminutebooks.com/nonviolent-communication-summary/
If you are interested in being coached in Tony's upcoming "Magnetic Marriage Podcast," please email him for more information. You will receive free marriage coaching and remain anonymous when the episode airs.
Go to http://tonyoverbay.com/workshop to sign up for Tony's "Magnetize Your Marriage" virtual workshop. The cost is only $19, and you'll learn the top 3 things you can do NOW to create a Magnetic Marriage.
You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program, The Path Back, by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to receive updates on upcoming programs and podcasts.
Tony mentioned a product that he used to take out all of the "uh's" and "um's" that, in his words, "must be created by wizards and magic!" because it's that good! To learn more about Descript, click here https://descript.com?lmref=bSWcEQ
Preston Pugmire is the host of the Next Level Life podcast, an award-winning life coach, and co-creator of The Magnetic Marriage couples communication course. Preston joins Tony to discuss the importance of discovering and living by your values. Preston shares his story of spending many years and tens of thousands of dollars taking in information from various courses, attending seminars, reading books, and meeting with experts to create his M.V.P. or "Mission, Values, Purpose" masterclass. In the class, you will learn your unique MISSION. Your chosen VALUES. Your identified PURPOSE. Your articulated SUPERPOWERS and GIFTS. And you will create your CUSTOMIZED plan for how to make decisions and be confident in any situation. Preston's MVP Contract Masterclass is available now, but space is limited. To learn more, visit http://tonyoverbay.com/contract
If you are interested in being coached in Tony's upcoming "Magnetic Marriage Podcast," please email him for more information. You will receive free marriage coaching and remain anonymous when the episode airs.
Go to http://tonyoverbay.com/workshop to sign up for Tony's "Magnetize Your Marriage" virtual workshop. The cost is only $19, and you'll learn the top 3 things you can do NOW to create a Magnetic Marriage.
You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program, The Path Back, by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to receive updates on upcoming programs and podcasts.
Tony mentioned a product that he used to take out all of the "uh's" and "um's" that, in his words, "must be created by wizards and magic!" because it's that good! To learn more about Descript, click here https://descript.com?lmref=bSWcEQ
Part 2 Tony discusses the challenges of modern-day parenting youth who have grown up with technology at their fingertips from birth. He reads a question from a disheartened mother of adult children who asks when the child needs to take ownership of their feelings, emotions, and actions and when will they stop blaming their parents? Tony discusses the family system and how mothers often fill the role of "scapegoat" for their children to avoid accountability. He talks about "masculine and feminine energy," aka "presence and radiance," and the need to "hold the frame" for expressive children. He continues to work on The Nurtured Heart Approach and his 4 Pillars of a Connected Conversation in parenting.
If you have parenting questions you would like answered on an upcoming episode; please email them to Tony using the contact form on his website http://tonyoverbay.com
If you are interested in being coached in Tony's upcoming "Magnetic Marriage Podcast," please email him for more information. You will receive free marriage coaching and remain anonymous when the episode airs.
Go to http://tonyoverbay.com/workshop to sign up for Tony's "Magnetize Your Marriage" virtual workshop. The cost is only $19, and you'll learn the top 3 things you can do NOW to create a Magnetic Marriage.
You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program, The Path Back, by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to receive updates on upcoming programs and podcasts.
Tony mentioned a product that he used to take out all of the "uh's" and "um's" that, in his words, "must be created by wizards and magic!" because it's that good! To learn more about Descript, click here https://descript.com?lmref=bSWcEQ
Tony talks about the challenges of parenting modern-day youth who have grown up with technology at their fingertips from birth. He discusses the information he learned from a consulting opportunity at a large tech company looking to retain people under 25 years old. He then shares the outline of his favorite parenting model, The Nurtured Heart Approach. Finally, Tony previews how his "4 Pillars of a Connected Conversation" can apply to parenting. He answers a listener's parenting question using the Nurtured Heart approach and his 4 Pillars.
If you have parenting questions you would like answered on an upcoming episode, please email them to Tony using the contact form on his website http://tonyoverbay.com
If you are interested in being coached in Tony's upcoming "Magnetic Marriage Podcast," please email him for more information. You will receive free marriage coaching and remain anonymous when the episode airs.
Go to http://tonyoverbay.com/workshop to sign up for Tony's "Magnetize Your Marriage" virtual workshop. The cost is only $19, and you'll learn the top 3 things you can do NOW to create a Magnetic Marriage.
You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program, The Path Back, by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to receive updates on upcoming programs and podcasts.
Tony mentioned a product that he used to take out all of the "uh's" and "um's" that, in his words, "must be created by wizards and magic!" because it's that good! To learn more about Descript, click here https://descript.com?lmref=bSWcEQ
Tony explains what it means to be anxiously attached and how emotionally draining it is to be in a relationship with someone who has an anxious attachment style. Symptoms of an anxious attachment style in adults can be (from https://www.verywellmind.com/attachment-anxiety-4692761)
Behaviors that smother or drive their partner away Constant need for contact and support from others Fear of being under appreciated Feeling unsure if a partner can be counted on Hypersensitivity to rejection and abandonment Need to increase feelings of security Negative self-view or self-worth Positive view of one's partner Vigilance to signs that a partner is pulling away Worry over losing a partner Yearning to feel closer and more secure with others Tony refers to the articles "What is an Anxious Attachment Style" https://www.verywellhealth.com/anxious-attachment-5204408 and "How Anxious Attachment Style Affects Relationships," https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/compassion-matters/201904/how-anxious-attachment-style-affects-relationships
ATTENTION THERAPISTS, PSYCHOLOGISTS, COUNSELORS, AND ALL MENTAL HEALTH PROFESSIONALS! You must act now to get access to Michael Twohigg's revolutionary new course "ACT for Anxiety Disorders." The cart closes at the end of the day on Friday, October 7th, 2022. Click on this link to access the course https://praxiscet.com/virtualcouch
Get access to Tony's presentation from Monica Tanner's "Secrets of Happily Ever After" summit, which brings 32 marriage therapists and life/relationship coaches together to provide a wealth of tips to strengthen your marriage. You can sign up for the summit for free using the following link: https://tonyoverbay--onthebrighterside.thrivecart.com/shea-summit-accelerator/
If you are interested in being coached in Tony's upcoming "Magnetic Marriage Podcast," please email him for more information. You will receive free marriage coaching and remain anonymous when the episode airs.
Go to http://tonyoverbay.com/workshop to sign up for Tony's "Magnetize Your Marriage" virtual workshop. The cost is only $19, and you'll learn the top 3 things you can do NOW to create a Magnetic Marriage.
You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program, The Path Back, by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to receive updates on upcoming programs and podcasts.
Tony mentioned a product that he used to take out all of the "uh's" and "um's" that, in his words, "must be created by wizards and magic!" because it's that good! To learn more about Descript, click here https://descript.com?lmref=bSWcEQ
Tony shares his thoughts on how to think better about how you think. You think the thoughts you do because you're the only version of you ever to walk the planet...so you think thoughts and feel feelings because, well, you do! You also need to stop telling yourself to stop thinking...don't think about a green giraffe wearing yellow rain boots right now! And finally, he reveals why it can be detrimental to believe that when you think A, you just need to think B.
Get access to Tony's presentation from Monica Tanner's "Secrets of Happily Ever After" summit, which brings 32 marriage therapists and life/relationship coaches together to provide a wealth of tips to strengthen your marriage. You can sign up for the summit for free using the following link: https://tonyoverbay--onthebrighterside.thrivecart.com/shea-summit-accelerator/
If you are interested in being coached in Tony's upcoming "Magnetic Marriage Podcast," please email him for more information. You will receive free marriage coaching and remain anonymous when the episode airs.
Go to http://tonyoverbay.com/workshop to sign up for Tony's "Magnetize Your Marriage" virtual workshop. The cost is only $19, and you'll learn the top 3 things you can do NOW to create a Magnetic Marriage.
You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program, The Path Back, by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to receive updates on upcoming programs and podcasts.
Tony mentioned a product that he used to take out all of the "uh's" and "um's" that, in his words, "must be created by wizards and magic!" because it's that good! To learn more about Descript, click here https://descript.com?lmref=bSWcEQ
Monica Tanner, the host of the Secrets of Happily Ever After podcast, joins Tony to talk about the secrets of achieving "happily ever after" in your marriage. They cover parenting, tension, physical and emotional intimacy, narcissism, and why being intentional with couples' date nights is a fun way to connect and model healthy relationships with your children.
They also discuss Tony's presentation in Monica's "Secrets of Happily Ever After," summit which brings 32 marriage therapists and life/relationship coaches together to provide a wealth of tips to strengthen your marriage. You can sign up for the summit for free using the following link: https://tonyoverbay--onthebrighterside.thrivecart.com/shea-summit-accelerator/
If you are interested in being coached in Tony's upcoming "Magnetic Marriage Podcast," please email him for more information. You will receive free marriage coaching and remain anonymous when the episode airs.
Go to http://tonyoverbay.com/workshop to sign up for Tony's "Magnetize Your Marriage" virtual workshop. The cost is only $19, and you'll learn the top 3 things you can do NOW to create a Magnetic Marriage.
You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program, The Path Back, by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to receive updates on upcoming programs and podcasts.
Tony mentioned a product that he used to take out all of the "uh's" and "um's" that, in his words, "must be created by wizards and magic!" because it's that good! To learn more about Descript, click here https://descript.com?lmref=bSWcEQ
Tony Overbay, LMFT, was interviewed by Kurt Francom, executive director of LeadingSaints.org and the Leading Saints podcast host. They covered the topics of therapy, treating people struggling with turning to pornography as an unhealthy coping mechanism with love, not shame, working with people navigating faith journeys, and the difference between healthy ego and narcissism and what that looks like in church leadership positions. This episode is also available on the LeadingSaints podcast in 2 parts. Part 1 https://leadingsaints.org/part-1-therapy-narcissistic-leaders-and-healthy-ego-an-interview-with-tony-overbay/ and part 2 https://leadingsaints.org/part-2-therapy-narcissistic-leaders-and-healthy-ego-an-interview-with-tony-overbay/
If you are interested in being coached in Tony's upcoming "Magnetic Marriage Podcast," please email him for more information. You will receive free marriage coaching and remain anonymous when the episode airs.
Go to http://tonyoverbay.com/workshop to sign up for Tony's "Magnetize Your Marriage" virtual workshop. The cost is only $19, and you'll learn the top 3 things you can do NOW to create a Magnetic Marriage.
You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program, The Path Back, by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to receive updates on upcoming programs and podcasts.
Tony mentioned a product that he used to take out all of the "uh's" and "um's" that, in his words, "must be created by wizards and magic!" because it's that good! To learn more about Descript, click here https://descript.com?lmref=bSWcEQ
Is it truly better to stay up until all hours of the morning while reaching the depths of sleep deprivation to "work things out" with your spouse, or should you just go to bed and talk in the morning? Is it always wise to save every penny? Tony looks at modern-day "proverbs" from both sides of the coin. Tony references the articles "100 Common Proverbs with Meaning and Examples" https://leverageedu.com/blog/common-proverbs/ Lack of sleep effects: why do we get more emotional when we’re tired? https://www.stylist.co.uk/health/sleep/sleep-deprivation-affects-emotional-health-sensitivity-stress-cycle/367278 and How Much Fruit is Too Much? https://www.webmd.com/diet/how-much-fruit-is-too-much
If you are interested in being coached in Tony's upcoming "Magnetic Marriage Podcast," please email him for more information. You will receive free marriage coaching and be kept entirely anonymous when the episode airs.
Go to http://tonyoverbay.com/workshop to sign up for Tony's "Magnetize Your Marriage" virtual workshop. The cost is only $19, and you'll learn the top 3 things you can do NOW to create a Magnetic Marriage.
You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program, The Path Back, by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to receive updates on upcoming programs and podcasts.
Tony mentioned a product that he used to take out all of the "uh's" and "um's" that, in his words, "must be created by wizards and magic!" because it's that good! To learn more about Descript, click here https://descript.com?lmref=bSWcEQ
Tony shares part 1 of a 2-part podcast on his "blueprint to happiness." Tony goes back to the beginning, YOUR beginning, as he starts from birth in describing why it can be so difficult to be happy and what is necessary to maximize your opportunities for happiness. Tony breaks down competing definitions of happiness from Russ Harris' book The Happiness Trap https://www.amazon.com/Happiness-Trap-Struggling-Living-Second/dp/1645471160/ and then he shares what our attachment and abandonment wounds look like in childhood and how they play out in our adult relationships.
If you are interested in being coached in Tony's upcoming "Magnetic Marriage Podcast," please email him for more information. You will receive free marriage coaching and be kept entirely anonymous when the episode airs.
Go to http://tonyoverbay.com/workshop to sign up for Tony's "Magnetize Your Marriage" virtual workshop. The cost is only $19, and you'll learn the top 3 things you can do NOW to create a Magnetic Marriage.
You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program, The Path Back, by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to receive updates on upcoming programs and podcasts.
Tony mentioned a product that he used to take out all of the "uh's" and "um's" that, in his words, "must be created by wizards and magic!" because it's that good! To learn more about Descript, click here https://descript.com?lmref=bSWcEQ
YOU are truly one-of-a-kind, the only version of YOU that ever walked the face of the earth. And because of that, you truly feel, think and behave the way you do because, well, you're YOU! So how did you get to be you, and how does being you cause you to show up in the world? And why do so many people try and tell you what you feel, think or how you should behave? Tony tackles what it means to be you from the book "Buddha's Brain: The Practical Neuroscience of Happiness, Love, and Wisdom" by Rick Hanson, Ph.D. https://read.amazon.com/kp/embed?asin=B003TU29WU&preview=newtab&linkCode=kpe&ref_=cm_sw_r_kb_dp_PT0G7S7YMYJMKH9MT3VW&tag=tonyoverbay-20
If you are interested in being coached in Tony's upcoming "Magnetic Marriage Podcast," please email him for more information. You will receive free marriage coaching and be kept entirely anonymous when the episode airs.
Go to http://tonyoverbay.com/workshop to sign up for Tony's "Magnetize Your Marriage" virtual workshop. The cost is only $19, and you'll learn the top 3 things you can do NOW to create a Magnetic Marriage.
You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program, The Path Back, by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to receive updates on upcoming programs and podcasts.
Tony mentioned a product that he used to take out all of the "uh's" and "um's" that, in his words, "must be created by wizards and magic!" because it's that good! To learn more about Descript, click here https://descript.com?lmref=bSWcEQ
Tony welcomes Nate Christensen, APCC and host of the podcast "Working Change," with his wife Marla https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/working-change/id1582227016 to the Virtual Couch. Nate shares his 4-step emotional process and explains where we have more of an opportunity to work with our emotions to drive positive change in our lives. They also talk about the role of "gut feeling" and intuition, how sometimes it is essential to lean more into "trusting your gut," and why we must question our intuition on other occasions.
If you are interested in being coached in Tony's upcoming "Magnetic Marriage Podcast," please email him for more information. You will receive free marriage coaching and be kept entirely anonymous when the episode airs.
Go to http://tonyoverbay.com/workshop to sign up for Tony's "Magnetize Your Marriage" virtual workshop. The cost is only $19, and you'll learn the top 3 things you can do NOW to create a Magnetic Marriage.
You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program, The Path Back, by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to receive updates on upcoming programs and podcasts.
Tony mentioned a product that he used to take out all of the "uh's" and "um's" that, in his words, "must be created by wizards and magic!" because it's that good! To learn more about Descript, click here https://descript.com?lmref=bSWcEQ
Alana Gordon and her husband Luke share their story of the highs and lows of navigating a marriage after discovering Luke’s pornography and sex addiction. They talk about what their marriage looked like leading up to the discovery of Luke’s addiction if Alana saw signs before discovery, and what the relationship looked like days, weeks, months, and years after “D-Day.” Alana is the Program Director of WORTH (Women of Rebirth and Therapeutic Healing https://healingwithworth.org/) and the Director of Choose Recovery Services (https://www.chooserecoveryservices.com/). Luke is the Co-Director of Choose Recovery Services and the Director of the Men of Moroni and Sons of Helaman pornography addiction recovery programs (https://lifechangingservices.online/menofmoroni/).
Tony’s episode about Trauma Bonding on the Healing with WORTH podcast can be heard here https://open.spotify.com/episode/1NCKsJ5ce7oSfhagyaxORi?si=74e1ef1a52bc4421
If you are interested in being coached in Tony's upcoming "Magnetic Marriage Podcast," please email info@tonyoverbay.com. You will receive free marriage coaching and be kept entirely anonymous when the episode airs.
Go to http://tonyoverbay.com/workshop to sign up for Tony's "Magnetize Your Marriage" virtual workshop. The cost is only $19, and you'll learn the top 3 things you can do NOW to create a Magnetic Marriage.
You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program, The Path Back, by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to receive updates on upcoming programs and podcasts.
Tony mentioned a product that he used to take out all of the "uh's" and "um's" that, in his words, "must be created by wizards and magic!" because it's that good! To learn more about Descript, click here https://descript.com?lmref=bSWcEQ
Tony talks about his "aha" moment when attending a wedding over the past weekend of why marriages begin with a lot of pressure and unrealized expectations that originate from each person's family history. Then he shares Russ Harris's 4 Myths of Marriage from the book "ACT With Love" https://www.amazon.com/ACT-Love-Struggling-Differences-Relationship/dp/1572246227/ref=sr_1_1?crid=230A2KCMWA6LX&keywords=act+with+love+by+russ+harris&qid=1659530505&sprefix=act+with+love%2Caps%2C125&sr=8-1
If you are interested in being coached in Tony's upcoming "Magnetic Marriage Podcast," please email info@tonyoverbay.com. You will receive free marriage coaching and be kept entirely anonymous when the episode airs.
Go to http://tonyoverbay.com/workshop to sign up for Tony's "Magnetize Your Marriage" virtual workshop. The cost is only $19, and you'll learn the top 3 things you can do NOW to create a Magnetic Marriage.
You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program, The Path Back, by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to receive updates on upcoming programs and podcasts.
Tony mentioned a product that he used to take out all of the "uh's" and "um's" that, in his words, "must be created by wizards and magic!" because it's that good! To learn more about Descript, click here https://descript.com?lmref=bSWcEQ
Does it really matter what you do throughout the day concerning your mental health? Tony tackles the impact of implicit memory and how the "flow of experience gradually sculpts your brain, thus shaping your mind" from the book "Buddha's Brain: The Practical Neuroscience of Happiness, Love, and Wisdom" by Rick Hanson, Ph.D. https://read.amazon.com/kp/embed?asin=B003TU29WU&preview=newtab&linkCode=kpe&ref_=cm_sw_r_kb_dp_PT0G7S7YMYJMKH9MT3VW&tag=tonyoverbay-20
Tony also references the article "Implicit Memory vs. Explicit Memory" by Kendra Cherry https://www.verywellmind.com/implicit-and-explicit-memory-2795346
Go to http://tonyoverbay.com/workshop to sign up for Tony's "Magnetize Your Marriage" virtual workshop. The cost is only $19. You'll learn the top 3 things you can do NOW to create a Magnetic Marriage.
You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program, The Path Back, by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to receive updates on upcoming programs and podcasts.
Tony mentioned a product that he used to take out all of the "uh's" and "um's" that, in his words, "must be created by wizards and magic!" because it's that good! To learn more about Descript, click here https://descript.com?lmref=bSWcEQ
With all of the amazing advances in technology, the increased awareness of our mental health, and apps, shows, programs, and therapists at our fingertips, why is it so hard to be happy? Tony discusses the "surprising psychology of why dissatisfaction is hardwired" from the article "Why You're Never Going to Be Satisfied With Life," by Nir Eyal https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/automatic-you/202207/why-you-re-never-going-be-satisfied-life
"http://tonyoverbay.com/workshop to sign up for Tony's "Magnetize Your Marriage" virtual workshop. The cost is only $19. You'll learn the top 3 things you can do NOW to create a Magnetic Marriage.
You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program, The Path Back, by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to receive updates on upcoming programs and podcasts.
Tony mentioned a product that he used to take out all of the "uh's" and "um's" that, in his words, "must be created by wizards and magic!" because it's that good! To learn more about Descript, click here https://descript.com?lmref=bSWcEQ
Tony shares his thoughts on John Kim's, aka "The Angry Therapist" article "7 Tips for Dealing with Life if You Can't Afford a Therapist," https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-angry-therapist/201802/7-tips-dealing-life-if-you-cant-afford-therapist John is the author of the book "I Used to Be a Miserable F*ck: An Everyman's Guide to a Meaningful Life." https://www.amazon.com/Used-Miserable-everymans-guide-meaningful/dp/1780723962/
John was featured on episode 107 of The Virtual Couch https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-virtual-couch/id1275153998?i=1000457707797
"http://tonyoverbay.com/workshop to sign up for Tony's "Magnetize Your Marriage" virtual workshop. The cost is only $19. You'll learn the top 3 things you can do NOW to create a Magnetic Marriage.
You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program, The Path Back, by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to receive updates on upcoming programs and podcasts.
Tony mentioned a product that he used to take out all of the "uh's" and "um's" that, in his words, "must be created by wizards and magic!" because it's that good! To learn more about Descript, click here https://descript.com?lmref=bSWcEQ
We've all heard the old adage, "you need to forgive and forget." But how hard is it to try to forget something that someone has done to you that causes you even to feel you need to forgive them? Is it even possible to forget certain things that people have done to us, and better yet, is that even healthy for you? Tony discusses the mental health benefits of forgiveness and the mental health challenges and potential dangers of attempting to forget something significant that has occurred in your life. Tony references the article "Why You Should Forgive But "Never" Forget" by Kurt Smith, PsyD https://psychcentral.com/health/reasons-to-forgive-but-not-forget
Go to http://tonyoverbay.com/workshop to sign up for Tony's "Magnetize Your Marriage" virtual workshop. The cost is only $19. You'll learn the top 3 things you can do NOW to create a Magnetic Marriage.
You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program, The Path Back, by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to receive updates on upcoming programs and podcasts.
Tony mentioned a product that he used to take out all of the "uh's" and "um's" that, in his words, "must be created by wizards and magic!" because it's that good! To learn more about Descript, click here https://descript.com?lmref=bSWcEQ
Dr. Jennifer Finlayson-Fife makes her 4th appearance on the Virtual Couch podcast! Tony and Jennifer discuss the difference between coaching and therapy. Jennifer currently offers couples coaching on her “Room for Two” podcast and group coaching along with traditional psychotherapy. They talk about the differences between creating true intimacy vs. seeking validation from others and moving toward self-validation and differentiation (learning how to be autonomous while still maintaining intimacy).
They also discuss examples of what a secure attachment looks like in parenting and how we often unconsciously create a dependence on our spouse or our children to feel love. They touch on emotional immaturity vs. narcissism, and they break down what it means to understand our “shadow self” and how bringing our “weakness” out of the shadow can not only be liberating but also allow us to step more confidently into our strengths.
Dr. Jennifer teaches couples and individuals how to strengthen their relationships, overcome relational and sexual roadblocks and increase their capacity for intimacy, love, and sexual expression. You can learn more about Dr. Jennifer’s courses, coaching, and her “Room for Two” podcast at http://finlayson-fife.com
Go to http://tonyoverbay.com/workshop to sign up for Tony’s “Magnetize Your Marriage” virtual workshop. The cost is only $19. You’ll learn the top 3 things you can do NOW to create a Magnetic Marriage.
You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program, The Path Back, by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to receive updates on upcoming programs and podcasts.
Tony mentioned a product that he used to take out all of the "uh's" and "um's" that, in his words, "must be created by wizards and magic!" because it's that good! To learn more about Descript, click here https://descript.com?lmref=bSWcEQ
Tony discusses Amy Morin, LCSW's article "13 Things Mentally Strong People Don't Do." https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/what-mentally-strong-people-dont-do/201501/13-things-mentally-strong-people-dont-do
Go to http://tonyoverbay.com/workshop to sign up for Tony’s “Magnetize Your Marriage” virtual workshop. The cost is only $19. You’ll learn the top 3 things you can do NOW to create a Magnetic Marriage.
You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program, The Path Back, by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to receive updates on upcoming programs and podcasts.
Tony mentioned a product that he used to take out all of the "uh's" and "um's" that, in his words, "must be created by wizards and magic!" because it's that good! To learn more about Descript, click here https://descript.com?lmref=bSWcEQ
Sometimes we don't realize how childhood trauma can show up in adulthood. Even the most supportive parents often tell children "not to worry about it," or "they didn't mean it," or "it's not that big of a deal." So it's not surprising that it can be difficult to sit with uncomfortable emotions. Tony goes through Dr. Andrea Brandt's article "9 Steps to Healing Childhood Trauma as an Adult," https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/mindful-anger/201804/9-steps-healing-childhood-trauma-adult
Go to http://tonyoverbay.com/workshop to sign up for Tony’s “Magnetize Your Marriage” virtual workshop. The cost is only $19. You’ll learn the top 3 things you can do NOW to create a Magnetic Marriage.
You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program, The Path Back, by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to receive updates on upcoming programs and podcasts.
Tony mentioned a product that he used to take out all of the "uh's" and "um's" that, in his words, "must be created by wizards and magic!" because it's that good! To learn more about Descript, click here https://descript.com?lmref=bSWcEQ
Understanding Emotional Invalidation - Why Some People Don't Feel Safe in Conversations. Tony refers to the article What Is Emotional Invalidation by Brittany Carrico https://psychcentral.com/health/reasons-you-and-others-invalidate-your-emotional-experience#how-to-validate-someone
Go to http://tonyoverbay.com/workshop to sign up for Tony’s “Magnetize Your Marriage” virtual workshop. The cost is only $19. You’ll learn the top 3 things you can do NOW to create a Magnetic Marriage.
With the continuing "sheltering" rules spreading across the country, PLEASE do not think you can't continue or begin therapy now. http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch can put you quickly in touch with licensed mental health professionals who can meet through text, email, or videoconference often as soon as 24-48 hours. And if you use the link http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch, you will receive 10% off your first month of services. Please make your mental health a priority, http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch offers affordable counseling, and they even have sliding scale options if your budget is tight.
You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program, The Path Back, by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to receive updates on upcoming programs and podcasts.
Tony mentioned a product that he used to take out all of the "uh's" and "um's" that, in his words, "must be created by wizards and magic!" because it's that good! To learn more about Descript, click here https://descript.com?lmref=bSWcEQ
Tony explains "Doomscrolling," or when one feels like they can't break loose from continually scrolling through newsfeeds, or social media despite the fact that the more one scrolls, the worse one feels. Tony references the article "Understanding Doomscrolling," by Simone Scully https://psychcentral.com/anxiety/what-is-doomscrolling#tips-to-stop
Visit http://tonyoverbay.com/workshop to sign up for Tony’s “Magnetize Your Marriage” virtual workshop. The cost is only $19, and you’ll learn the top 3 things you can do NOW to create a Magnetic Marriage.
With the continuing "sheltering" rules spreading across the country, PLEASE do not think you can't continue or begin therapy now. http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch can put you quickly in touch with licensed mental health professionals who can meet through text, email, or videoconference often as soon as 24-48 hours. And if you use the link http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch, you will receive 10% off your first month of services. Please make your mental health a priority, http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch offers affordable counseling, and they even have sliding scale options if your budget is tight.
You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program, The Path Back, by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit http://tonyoverbay.com and signing up to receive updates on upcoming programs and podcasts.
Tony mentioned a product that he used to take out all of the "uh's" and "um's" that, in his words, "must be created by wizards and magic!" because it's that good! To learn more about Descript, click here https://descript.com?lmref=bSWcEQ
Have you ever felt like you were anticipating rejection as you approached a person, or situation that you believed truly mattered to you? If so, you may be experiencing a form of "Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria" or RSD. RSD is typically associated as a by-product of ADHD. If you grew up continually being told no by those you cared about, then you may find yourself anticipating being told no as an adult. Now we understand that RSD is not simply something that affects those with ADHD, but to an extent, we ALL grew up hearing no when asking for things that we want (to a child, telling them that they can't eat candy for dinner every night, to them, will feel like rejection).
The more that we learn about RSD, the more we can understand how to treat it. Tony refers to several articles in this episode including the following: "What Is Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria," by Andrea Bonior https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/friendship-20/201907/what-is-rejection-sensitive-dysphoria "Rejection Sensitivity: Signs, Causes and Healing" https://www.supportiv.com/anxiety/rejection-sensitivity "What Does Rejection Sensitivity Dysphoria Feel like? RSD" by Dr. Jasmine Shaikh, MD https://www.medicinenet.com/what_is_rejection_sensitivity_dysphoria_feel_like/article.htm and "How ADHD Ignites Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria," by William Dodson https://www.additudemag.com/rejection-sensitive-dysphoria-and-adhd/
http://tonyoverbay.com/workshop to sign up for Tony’s “Magnetize Your Marriage” virtual workshop. The cost is only $19, and you’ll learn the top 3 things you can do NOW to create a Magnetic Marriage.
With the continuing "sheltering" rules spreading across the country, PLEASE do not think you can't continue or begin therapy now. http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch can put you quickly in touch with licensed mental health professionals who can meet through text, email, or videoconference often as soon as 24-48 hours. And if you use the link http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch, you will receive 10% off your first month of services. Please make your mental health a priority, http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch offers affordable counseling, and they even have sliding scale options if your budget is tight.
You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program, The Path Back, by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit http://tonyoverbay.com and signing up to receive updates on upcoming programs and podcasts.
Tony mentioned a product that he used to take out all of the "uh's" and "um's" that, in his words, "must be created by wizards and magic!" because it's that good! To learn more about Descript, click here https://descript.com?lmref=bSWcEQ
Why do we often default to shame? Tony Overbay, LMFT, often says that in working with individuals trying to overcome addiction or trying to be the very best version of themselves, exactly 0 out of a few thousand people he has worked with have used shame as a tool for recovery. Yet when we stop and let our thoughts take over, they often go back to the "what's wrong with me, I'm a bad person" story. Today Tony identifies the root causes of shame, why it doesn't help, and what to do when you find yourself heading down that path of toxic shame. Tony also shares the metaphor of the unwelcome neighbor, and he references Compassion Focused Therapy https://welldoing.org/types/compassion-focused-therapy
http://tonyoverbay.com/workshop to sign up for Tony’s “Magnetize Your Marriage” virtual workshop. The cost is only $19, and you’ll learn the top 3 things you can do NOW to create a Magnetic Marriage.
With the continuing "sheltering" rules spreading across the country, PLEASE do not think you can't continue or begin therapy now. http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch can put you quickly in touch with licensed mental health professionals who can meet through text, email, or videoconference often as soon as 24-48 hours. And if you use the link http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch, you will receive 10% off your first month of services. Please make your mental health a priority, http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch offers affordable counseling, and they even have sliding scale options if your budget is tight.
You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program, The Path Back, by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to receive updates on upcoming programs and podcasts.
Tony mentioned a product that he used to take out all of the "uh's" and "um's" that, in his words, "must be created by wizards and magic!" because it's that good! To learn more about Descript, click here https://descript.com?lmref=bSWcEQ
Nate Christensen, APCC and host of the Working Change podcast, joins Tony to discuss "Dopamine Nation, Finding Balance in the Age of Indulgence" by Anna Lembke https://www.amazon.com/Dopamine-Nation-Finding-Balance-Indulgence-ebook/dp/B08KPKHVXQ/
Tony and Preston Pugmire are getting ready to launch another round of their popular Magnetic Marriage course! Go to http://tonyoverbay.com/magnetic to get on the waitlist.
Go to http://tonyoverbay.com/workshop to sign up for Tony’s “Magnetize Your Marriage” virtual workshop. The cost is only $19. You’ll learn the top 3 things you can do NOW to create a Magnetic Marriage.
With the continuing "sheltering" rules spreading across the country, PLEASE do not think you can't continue or begin therapy now. http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch can put you quickly in touch with licensed mental health professionals who can meet through text, email, or videoconference often as soon as 24-48 hours. And if you use the link http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch, you will receive 10% off your first month of services. Please make your mental health a priority, http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch offers affordable counseling, and they even have sliding scale options if your budget is tight.
You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program, The Path Back, by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to receive updates on upcoming programs and podcasts.
Tony mentioned a product that he used to take out all of the "uh's" and "um's" that, in his words, "must be created by wizards and magic!" because it's that good! To learn more about Descript, click here https://descript.com?lmref=bSWcEQ
What is the difference between influence, control, and love? Is there room in a relationship to influence your partner, or do you simply need to let them be? Tony takes a few pages from Dr. Russ Harris's book ACT Made Simple https://www.amazon.com/ACT-Made-Simple-Easy-Read/dp/1684033012/ to discuss the role, in healthy relationships, of influence.
Tony and Preston Pugmire are getting ready to launch another round of their popular Magnetic Marriage course! Go to http://tonyoverbay.com/magnetic to get on the waitlist.
Go to http://tonyoverbay.com/workshop to sign up for Tony’s “Magnetize Your Marriage” virtual workshop. The cost is only $19. You’ll learn the top 3 things you can do NOW to create a Magnetic Marriage.
With the continuing "sheltering" rules spreading across the country, PLEASE do not think you can't continue or begin therapy now. http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch can put you quickly in touch with licensed mental health professionals who can meet through text, email, or videoconference often as soon as 24-48 hours. And if you use the link http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch, you will receive 10% off your first month of services. Please make your mental health a priority, http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch offers affordable counseling, and they even have sliding scale options if your budget is tight.
You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program, The Path Back, by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to receive updates on upcoming programs and podcasts.
Tony mentioned a product that he used to take out all of the "uh's" and "um's" that, in his words, "must be created by wizards and magic!" because it's that good! To learn more about Descript, click here https://descript.com?lmref=bSWcEQ
Is it better to try and think your way out of, or through your problems or are you only making things worse? How can simply acknowledging your issues, and looking at them with curiosity actually help? Tony discusses the article, “How Analyzing Your Problems May Be Counterproductive,” by Ray Williams https://contextualscience.org/node/4935
Go to http://tonyoverbay.com/workshop to sign up for Tony’s “Magnetize Your Marriage” virtual workshop. The cost is only $19. You’ll learn the top 3 things you can do NOW to create a Magnetic Marriage.
With the continuing "sheltering" rules spreading across the country, PLEASE do not think you can't continue or begin therapy now. http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch can put you quickly in touch with licensed mental health professionals who can meet through text, email, or videoconference often as soon as 24-48 hours. And if you use the link http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch, you will receive 10% off your first month of services. Please make your mental health a priority, http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch offers affordable counseling, and they even have sliding scale options if your budget is tight.
You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program, The Path Back, by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to receive updates on upcoming programs and podcasts.
Tony mentioned a product that he used to take out all of the "uh's" and "um's" that, in his words, "must be created by wizards and magic!" because it's that good! To learn more about Descript, click here https://descript.com?lmref=bSWcEQ
Tony asks the question, are you really looking for advice or validation? Tony reads Hunter S. Thompson's iconic "Letter on Finding Your Purpose and Living a Meaningful Life." Thompson wrote the letter in April of 1958 at the age of 22 to his friend, Hume Logan, in response to Logan's request for life advice. Many believe that Thompson's letter to Logan is some of the most profound and thoughtful advice one can read when attempting to look at the true desire of putting your life decisions in the hands of others.
Go to http://tonyoverbay.com/workshop to sign up for Tony’s “Magnetize Your Marriage” virtual workshop. The cost is only $19. You’ll learn the top 3 things you can do NOW to create a Magnetic Marriage.
With the continuing "sheltering" rules spreading across the country, PLEASE do not think you can't continue or begin therapy now. http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch can put you quickly in touch with licensed mental health professionals who can meet through text, email, or videoconference often as soon as 24-48 hours. And if you use the link http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch, you will receive 10% off your first month of services. Please make your mental health a priority, http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch offers affordable counseling, and they even have sliding scale options if your budget is tight.
You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program, The Path Back, by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to receive updates on upcoming programs and podcasts.
Tony mentioned a product that he used to take out all of the "uh's" and "um's" that, in his words, "must be created by wizards and magic!" because it's that good! To learn more about Descript, click here https://descript.com?lmref=bSWcEQ
Tony welcomes therapist and friend Sam Tielemans, LMFT, to the Virtual Couch. They cover topics from shame's role in furthering addictive behaviors to why working with your spouse can ultimately be a powerful way to enhance recovery. They tackle the challenging issue of pornography, is it an addiction or does that matter when it comes to recovery? They challenge the "once an addict, always an addict" dialogue often heard in the recovery world. And they give some new insight on working with betrayal trauma. You can find Sam at http://coupleshealing.org and subscribe to his podcast Couples Healing From Pornography Addiction.
Go to http://tonyoverbay.com/magnetic to sign up for Tony’s “Magnetize Your Marriage” virtual workshop on April 7th. You’ll learn the top 3 things you can do NOW to create a Magnetic Marriage.
With the continuing "sheltering" rules spreading across the country, PLEASE do not think you can't continue or begin therapy now. http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch can put you quickly in touch with licensed mental health professionals who can meet through text, email, or videoconference often as soon as 24-48 hours. And if you use the link http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch, you will receive 10% off your first month of services. Please make your mental health a priority, http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch offers affordable counseling, and they even have sliding scale options if your budget is tight.
You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program, The Path Back, by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to receive updates on upcoming programs and podcasts.
Tony mentioned a product that he used to take out all of the "uh's" and "um's" that, in his words, "must be created by wizards and magic!" because it's that good! To learn more about Descript, click here https://descript.com?lmref=bSWcEQ
On Saturday, February 5th, my daughter, Alexa, drove to the gym after completing a week in the externship of her dreams. She was just a few months shy of graduation to become an ultrasound technician. She had committed to a physical health routine months ago and was in the best shape of her life. She was living apart from her husband Mitch for the first time as he completed his final semester of college. Upon graduation, Mitch was planning on taking the MCAT in May. They had worked hard and sacrificed a lot to get to this point in their early lives in hopes that they would both be in a position to help others for the remainder of their lives. And then, in an instant, their lives would be altered forever. A large truck ran a red light and t-boned Alex in her Mini Cooper, throwing the car over 100 feet into a nearby field. Her injuries have been nothing short of devastating.
Alex, Mitch, my wife Wendy, and I discuss the impact of this devastating change on their lives and the effect that tragedy can have on the extended family, and how one event can significantly alter the future that someone had worked so hard to make a reality. In the episode, we talk about Alex's Gofundme account, http://gofundme.com/f/alexasroadtorecovery. If you are in a position to donate, please know that we are beyond grateful. If you aren't, we understand; we'll also take the donation of your prayers, your positive vibes, energy, karma, whatever you are willing to share. Thank you to everyone for your kindness. #alexasroadtorecovery
Paul Gilmartin, comedian, and host of the Mental Illness Happy Hour podcast talks about his own struggles with depression, what led him to start his podcast, how meditation has helped him, what he does for self-care and why we need to continue to destigmatize and talk about mental health more in society. Find Paul at mentalpod.com
Go to http://tonyoverbay.com/magnetic to sign up for Tony’s “Magnetize Your Marriage” virtual workshop on April 7th. You’ll learn the top 3 things you can do NOW to create a Magnetic Marriage.
With the continuing "sheltering" rules spreading across the country, PLEASE do not think you can't continue or begin therapy now. http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch can put you quickly in touch with licensed mental health professionals who can meet through text, email, or videoconference often as soon as 24-48 hours. And if you use the link http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch, you will receive 10% off your first month of services. Please make your mental health a priority, http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch offers affordable counseling, and they even have sliding scale options if your budget is tight.
You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program, The Path Back, by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to receive updates on upcoming programs and podcasts.
Tony mentioned a product that he used to take out all of the "uh's" and "um's" that, in his words, "must be created by wizards and magic!" because it's that good! To learn more about Descript, click here https://descript.com?lmref=bSWcEQ
Tony revisits the "Levels of Intimacy." Physical attraction may be enough to bring a couple together initially but is it enough to sustain a relationship when you feel disconnected emotionally, spiritually, or intellectually? Or how about when you feel like anything you say to each other is a trigger for an argument? Learn how to form a more healthy view of intimacy, beginning with psychological intimacy, verbal intimacy, emotional intimacy, etc. Discover how to make physical intimacy the natural byproduct of a strong connection. Tony first learned about the Levels of Intimacy from Dr. Kevin Skinner of ADDO Recovery while receiving an 18-month certification working with victims of betrayal trauma.
With the continuing "sheltering" rules spreading across the country, PLEASE do not think you can't continue or begin therapy now. http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch can put you quickly in touch with licensed mental health professionals who can meet through text, email, or videoconference often as soon as 24-48 hours. And if you use the link http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch, you will receive 10% off your first month of services. Please make your mental health a priority, http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch offers affordable counseling, and they even have sliding scale options if your budget is tight.
You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program, The Path Back, by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to receive updates on upcoming programs and podcasts.
Tony mentioned a product that he used to take out all of the "uh's" and "um's" that, in his words, "must be created by wizards and magic!" because it's that good! To learn more about Descript, click here https://descript.com?lmref=bSWcEQ
Have you ever felt overwhelmed by the number of options in front of you? Whether it is what show to begin on Netflix, Hulu, Prime, or HBO, what major you should declare in school, or what to eat for dinner? Most of us have been paralyzed by what psychologists term "Analysis Paralysis," or being so overwhelmed by choices that we can't decide. In today's episode, Tony Overbay, LMFT, dives deep into the many reasons we find ourselves not making a decision when there are many options. Tony references the following articles in this episode. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Analysis_paralysis and "8 Tips to Overcome Analysis Paralysis (With Examples)
With the continuing "sheltering" rules spreading across the country, PLEASE do not think you can't continue or begin therapy now. http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch can put you quickly in touch with licensed mental health professionals who can meet through text, email, or videoconference often as soon as 24-48 hours. And if you use the link http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch, you will receive 10% off your first month of services. Please make your mental health a priority, http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch offers affordable counseling, and they even have sliding scale options if your budget is tight.
You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program, The Path Back, by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visiting http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to receive updates on upcoming programs and podcasts.
Tony mentioned a product that he used to take out all of the "uh's" and "um's" that, in his words, "must be created by wizards and magic!" because it's that good! To learn more about Descript, click here https://descript.com?lmref=bSWcEQ
After working with well over 1,000 couples as a marriage therapist, Tony Overbay, LMFT, gives his top 11 tips to a happier marriage. If you are interested in learning more about the 4th round of Tony's "Magnetic Marriage" course, please visit http://tonyoverbay.com and send him an email through the contact form.
With the continuing "sheltering" rules spreading across the country, PLEASE do not think you can't continue or begin therapy now. http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch can put you quickly in touch with licensed mental health professionals who can meet through text, email, or videoconference often as soon as 24-48 hours. And if you use the link http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch, you will receive 10% off your first month of services. Please make your mental health a priority, http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch offers affordable counseling, and they even have sliding scale options if your budget is tight.
You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program, The Path Back, by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to receive updates on upcoming programs and podcasts.
Tony mentioned a product that he used to take out all of the "uh's" and "um's" that, in his words, "must be created by wizards and magic!" because it's that good! To learn more about Descript, click here https://descript.com?lmref=bSWcEQ
Tony gives an update on his personal journey with Attention Deficit Disorder. Tony discusses the 7 types of ADD from Daniel Amen's book "Healing ADD - The Breakthrough Program That Allows You to See and Heal the 7 Types of ADD" https://read.amazon.com/kp/embed?asin=B00C1N97EO&preview=newtab&linkCode=kpe&ref_=cm_sw_r_kb_dp_KQP1DC7XQZTKX27P4HQ3&tag=tonyoverbay-20
With the continuing "sheltering" rules spreading across the country, PLEASE do not think you can't continue or begin therapy now. http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch can put you quickly in touch with licensed mental health professionals who can meet through text, email, or videoconference often as soon as 24-48 hours. And if you use the link http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch, you will receive 10% off your first month of services. Please make your mental health a priority, http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch offers affordable counseling, and they even have sliding scale options if your budget is tight.
You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program, The Path Back, by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to receive updates on upcoming programs and podcasts.
Tony mentioned a product that he used to take out all of the "uh's" and "um's" that, in his words, "must be created by wizards and magic!" because it's that good! To learn more about Descript, click here https://descript.com?lmref=bSWcEQ
Recently, Tony had a couple of clients return to his couch after a several-year gap. One client asked Tony if he could sum up everything that the client had missed during his time away from therapy? Another client asked the simple question of why are relationships so complicated? Tony shares several concepts that answer both questions, what has he added to his therapist-tools over the last few years and why relationships are so challenging, and what can one do to improve themselves so that they show up more emotionally mature in their relationships?
With the continuing "sheltering" rules spreading across the country, PLEASE do not think you can't continue or begin therapy now. http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch can put you quickly in touch with licensed mental health professionals who can meet through text, email, or videoconference often as soon as 24-48 hours. And if you use the link http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch, you will receive 10% off your first month of services. Please make your mental health a priority, http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch offers affordable counseling, and they even have sliding scale options if your budget is tight.
You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program, The Path Back, by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to receive updates on upcoming programs and podcasts.
Tony mentioned a product that he used to take out all of the "uh's" and "um's" that, in his words, "must be created by wizards and magic!" because it's that good! To learn more about Descript, click here https://descript.com?lmref=bSWcEQ
Tony dives into the research of why we need connection with others from Sue Johnson's book "Hold Me Tight." And he then shares his Rules Of Constructive Kommunication (ROCK). These 6 rules are designed to help couples move past unproductive conversations around “hot topics” that typically lead to frustration, fighting, and turning away from each other. If you often find yourself avoiding certain topics or situations with your partner, like finances, intimacy, and parenting, because the conversations never go well, you need to follow Tony’s ROCK. These rules will help you cultivate an attitude of empathy for your partner and lead to the world of productive communication.
With the continuing "sheltering" rules spreading across the country, PLEASE do not think you can't continue or begin therapy now. http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch can put you quickly in touch with licensed mental health professionals who can meet through text, email, or videoconference often as soon as 24-48 hours. And if you use the link http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch, you will receive 10% off your first month of services. Please make your mental health a priority, http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch offers affordable counseling, and they even have sliding scale options if your budget is tight.
You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program, The Path Back, by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to receive updates on upcoming programs and podcasts.
Tony mentioned a product that he used to take out all of the "uh's" and "um's" that, in his words, "must be created by wizards and magic!" because it's that good! To learn more about Descript, click here https://descript.com?lmref=bSWcEQ
Is tragedy necessary for growth? Tony shares his personal experience of trying to navigate the complex emotions around a car crash involving his daughter Alexa and how difficult it can be to access tools of healing when you are the one impacted by the tragedy. Tony references the article "The Ethics of Tragedy," by Susi Ferrarello Ph.D. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/lying-the-philosophers-couch/201706/the-ethics-tragedy and "Finding Purpose in the Face of Tragedy and Adversity," by Ralph Lewis M.D. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/finding-purpose/201811/finding-purpose-in-the-face-tragedy-and-adversity
With the continuing "sheltering" rules spreading across the country, PLEASE do not think you can't continue or begin therapy now. http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch can put you quickly in touch with licensed mental health professionals who can meet through text, email, or videoconference often as soon as 24-48 hours. And if you use the link http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch, you will receive 10% off your first month of services. Please make your mental health a priority, http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch offers affordable counseling, and they even have sliding scale options if your budget is tight.
You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program, The Path Back, by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to receive updates on upcoming programs and podcasts.
Tony mentioned a product that he used to take out all of the "uh's" and "um's" that, in his words, "must be created by wizards and magic!" because it's that good! To learn more about Descript, click here https://descript.com?lmref=bSWcEQ
Do you often find yourself in situations or circumstances that you never asked for? If so, a) you are a human being, and b) there are tools available that can help you make the most of any situation. Psychological Flexibility is a key component of Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) and may be the key to becoming unstuck, even when you find yourself in completely sticky situations. Tony refers to a couple of articles on Psychological Flexibility from the website http://workingwithact.com https://workingwithact.com/psychological-flexibility-at-work/the-role-of-psychological-flexibility-in-building-performance-and-wellbeing/
With the continuing "sheltering" rules spreading across the country, PLEASE do not think you can't continue or begin therapy now. http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch can put you quickly in touch with licensed mental health professionals who can meet through text, email, or videoconference often as soon as 24-48 hours. And if you use the link http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch, you will receive 10% off your first month of services. Please make your mental health a priority, http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch offers affordable counseling, and they even have sliding scale options if your budget is tight.
You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program, The Path Back, by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to receive updates on upcoming programs and podcasts.
Tony mentioned a product that he used to take out all of the "uh's" and "um's" that, in his words, "must be created by wizards and magic!" because it's that good! To learn more about Descript, click here https://descript.com?lmref=bSWcEQ
Tony shares how understanding context can help one understand others. Tony references the article "The Importance of Context when Diagnosing Mental Disorders" by Drew Mikita, LPC, Associate Professor https://www.freepsychologyhelp.com/?p=116
With the continuing "sheltering" rules spreading across the country, PLEASE do not think you can't continue or begin therapy now. http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch can put you quickly in touch with licensed mental health professionals who can meet through text, email, or videoconference often as soon as 24-48 hours. And if you use the link http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch, you will receive 10% off your first month of services. Please make your mental health a priority, http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch offers affordable counseling, and they even have sliding scale options if your budget is tight.
You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program, The Path Back, by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to receive updates on upcoming programs and podcasts.
Tony mentioned a product that he used to take out all of the "uh's" and "um's" that, in his words, "must be created by wizards and magic!" because it's that good! To learn more about Descript, click here https://descript.com?lmref=v95myQ
Tony shares his thoughts on how to best talk about a topic that carries with it so much fear, guilt, and shame...pornography! In part 1 of 2, Tony talks about the difference between guilt and shame, and why people turn to unhealthy coping mechanisms like pornography when they aren't feeling connected in other areas of life?
Tony mentioned his interview with Russ Catanach on his podcast "Learning More," you can listen here https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/learning-more/id1551590647?i=1000547740442
And Tony discusses the article "Let's Talk About Porn: Is it as Harmful as Society Says It Is?" https://fightthenewdrug.org/3-reasons-why-watching-porn-is-harmful/
With the continuing "sheltering" rules spreading across the country, PLEASE do not think you can't continue or begin therapy now. http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch can put you quickly in touch with licensed mental health professionals who can meet through text, email, or videoconference often as soon as 24-48 hours. And if you use the link http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch, you will receive 10% off your first month of services. Please make your mental health a priority, http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch offers affordable counseling, and they even have sliding scale options if your budget is tight.
You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program, The Path Back, by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to receive updates on upcoming programs and podcasts.
Tony mentioned a product that he used to take out all of the "uh's" and "um's" that, in his words, "must be created by wizards and magic!" because it's that good! To learn more about Descript, click here https://descript.com?lmref=bSWcEQ
Over time, many couples find themselves in a familiar pursue/withdrawal relationship. One partner may feel like they are doing everything in the relationship only at the expense of getting their own validation or needs met. Still, their partner often becomes more distant when they express their frustration. But there is also a fear that if the partner stops reminding their spouse that they aren't getting their needs met, they will NEVER be satisfied. So goes the all-too-familiar dance of the anxious/avoidant attached couple. Tony shares his experiences as a couples therapist on how these couples arrive on his couch, and more importantly, what to do to get the relationship to a more mature, healthy state.
Tony references the article "Attachment Woes Between Anxious and Avoidant Partners" by Darlene Lancer, JD, LMFT from https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/toxic-relationships/202008/attachment-woes-between-anxious-and-avoidant-partners
With the continuing "sheltering" rules spreading across the country, PLEASE do not think you can't continue or begin therapy now. http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch can put you quickly in touch with licensed mental health professionals who can meet through text, email, or videoconference often as soon as 24-48 hours. And if you use the link http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch, you will receive 10% off your first month of services. Please make your mental health a priority, http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch offers affordable counseling, and they even have sliding scale options if your budget is tight.
You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program, The Path Back, by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to receive updates on upcoming programs and podcasts.
Tony mentioned a product that he used to take out all of the "uh's" and "um's" that, in his words, "must be created by wizards and magic!" because it's that good! To learn more about Descript, click here https://descript.com?lmref=bSWcEQ
Tony interviews award-winning author and podcast host Suzanne Falter. They discuss the importance of self-care and the touching story of Suzanne's daughter Teal who passed away unexpectedly at a very young age. Teal shared some very powerful advice for how to make the most of life that continues to guide Suzanne's life. Suzanne is the author of 8 books including "The Extremely Busy Women's Guide to Self-Care" https://www.amazon.com/Extremely-Busy-Womans-Guide-Self-Care/dp/1492698539/ And you can listen to her podcast Self Care for Extremely Busy Women here https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/self-care-for-extremely-busy-women/id1383377400
Suzanne runs a popular women's group on Facebook for Extremely Busy Women that, at the time of this recording, had over 56,000 women. You can find out more about the group here https://www.facebook.com/groups/selfcareforextremelybusywomen/ Or go to http://suzannefalter.com to learn more about Suzanne. You can watch the video of this episode on The Virtual Couch YouTube channel https://youtu.be/pBdki9xrkAY and please take a moment and subscribe to the channel while you're there.
With the continuing "sheltering" rules spreading across the country, PLEASE do not think you can't continue or begin therapy now. http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch can put you quickly in touch with licensed mental health professionals who can meet through text, email, or videoconference often as soon as 24-48 hours. And if you use the link http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch, you will receive 10% off your first month of services. Please make your mental health a priority, http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch offers affordable counseling, and they even have sliding scale options if your budget is tight.
You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program, The Path Back, by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to receive updates on upcoming programs and podcasts.
Tony mentioned a product that he used to take out all of the "uh's" and "um's" that, in his words, "must be created by wizards and magic!" because it's that good! To learn more about Descript, click here https://descript.com?lmref=bSWcEQ
Tony shares 4 of his top takeaways from another year of podcasting, including a quick review of his 4 Pillars of a Connected Conversation, how important it is to differentiate from others, and why you have to go through challenges in life to realize that you need additional tools.
With the continuing "sheltering" rules spreading across the country, PLEASE do not think you can't continue or begin therapy now. http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch can put you quickly in touch with licensed mental health professionals who can meet through text, email, or videoconference often as soon as 24-48 hours. And if you use the link http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch, you will receive 10% off your first month of services. Please make your mental health a priority, http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch offers affordable counseling, and they even have sliding scale options if your budget is tight.
You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program, The Path Back, by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to receive updates on upcoming programs and podcasts.
Tony mentioned a product that he used to take out all of the "uh's" and "um's" that, in his words, "must be created by wizards and magic!" because it's that good! To learn more about Descript, click here https://descript.com?lmref=bSWcEQ
Neal Hooper, the host of The Happiness Playbook podcast and creator of The Achievement Tribe, a comprehensive goal achievement experience, joins Tony to talk about why the way that people typically talk about and set goals eventually leads to feelings of frustration inadequacy, and often shame. They discuss the importance of putting your individual values behind a goal and how to move forward even if you find yourself back to familiar patterns of feeling unmotivated or stuck.
The Achievement Tribe is a comprehensive goal achievement experience made up of 3 key ingredients: a proven goal system, an accountability group, and a physical planner, all in one place. Neal is getting ready to do a 2-month goal sprint in January that comes with an accountability partner, physical On Purpose Planner, and access to all the program resources to finally take massive action toward your dream life.
Typically It's $300 for the 2-month goal sprint, but if you use the discount code VIRTUALCOUCH at checkout, you get $100 off.
The last day to sign up is December 30th, 2021, and the first kickoff call is on January 3rd, 2022, @ 8 pm (mountain). If you want to sign up, follow this link here: https://www.achievementtribe.co/a/2147501224/zbdmeGhs and put in the discount code VIRTUALCOUCH to get the special deal.
You can also sign up for a free goal coaching call with Neal at the same link.
With the continuing "sheltering" rules spreading across the country, PLEASE do not think you can't continue or begin therapy now. http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch can put you quickly in touch with licensed mental health professionals who can meet through text, email, or videoconference often as soon as 24-48 hours. And if you use the link http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch, you will receive 10% off your first month of services. Please make your mental health a priority, http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch offers affordable counseling, and they even have sliding scale options if your budget is tight.
You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program, The Path Back, by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to receive updates on upcoming programs and podcasts.
Tony mentioned a product that he used to take out all of the "uh's" and "um's" that, in his words, "must be created by wizards and magic!" because it's that good! To learn more about Descript, click here https://descript.com?lmref=bSWcEQ
Have you ever found yourself all “up in your feelings?” Or how often do you feel angry, frustrated, depressed, or anxious? One of the most beneficial things you can do when emotions, thoughts, or feelings feel overwhelming is realize that two different things are happening at that moment of feeling overwhelmed. There is the thinking self and the observing self, and learning how to move from thinking to observing or noticing can be one of the most powerful tools to help you stay present and grounded even in the most challenging times. Tony discusses the Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) principle of “self as context” and shares how this simple shift can make immediate and radical changes to your overall mood. Tony references a chapter from the Youth AOD Toolbox on “Self as Context.” You can find that chapter here https://www.youthaodtoolbox.org.au/h7-introducing-self-context
With the continuing "sheltering" rules spreading across the country, PLEASE do not think you can't continue or begin therapy now. http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch can put you quickly in touch with licensed mental health professionals who can meet through text, email, or videoconference often as soon as 24-48 hours. And if you use the link http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch, you will receive 10% off your first month of services. Please make your mental health a priority, http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch offers affordable counseling, and they even have sliding scale options if your budget is tight.
You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program, The Path Back, by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to receive updates on upcoming programs and podcasts.
Tony mentioned a product that he used to take out all of the "uh's" and "um's" that, in his words, "must be created by wizards and magic!" because it's that good! To learn more about Descript, click here https://descript.com?lmref=bSWcEQ
Have you ever found yourself all “up in your feelings?” Or how often do you feel angry, frustrated, depressed, or anxious? One of the most beneficial things you can do when emotions, thoughts, or feelings feel overwhelming is realize that two different things are happening at that moment of feeling overwhelmed. There is the thinking self and the observing self, and learning how to move from thinking to observing or noticing can be one of the most powerful tools to help you stay present and grounded even in the most challenging times. Tony discusses the Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) principle of “self as context” and shares how this simple shift can make immediate and radical changes to your overall mood. Tony references a chapter from the Youth AOD Toolbox on “Self as Context.” You can find that chapter here https://www.youthaodtoolbox.org.au/h7-introducing-self-context
With the continuing "sheltering" rules spreading across the country, PLEASE do not think you can't continue or begin therapy now. http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch can put you quickly in touch with licensed mental health professionals who can meet through text, email, or videoconference often as soon as 24-48 hours. And if you use the link http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch, you will receive 10% off your first month of services. Please make your mental health a priority, http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch offers affordable counseling, and they even have sliding scale options if your budget is tight.
You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program, The Path Back, by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to receive updates on upcoming programs and podcasts.
Tony mentioned a product that he used to take out all of the "uh's" and "um's" that, in his words, "must be created by wizards and magic!" because it's that good! To learn more about Descript, click here https://descript.com?lmref=bSWcEQ
Happiness, as one client shared, is like the carrot at the end of a stick, and you’re holding the stick. The more effort you take in trying to reach the carrot, the further it gets from you. In today’s episode, Tony discusses the article “Can Wanting to Be Happy Backfire?” by Emily C. Willroth Ph.D. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-happiness-health-connection/202104/can-wanting-be-happy-backfire?collection=1169468 and he then spends some time discussing the 6 Core Principles of Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) from Dr. Russ Harris’ book “ACT Made Simple” https://www.amazon.com/ACT-Made-Simple-Easy-Read/dp/1684033012/
With the continuing "sheltering" rules spreading across the country, PLEASE do not think you can't continue or begin therapy now. http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch can put you quickly in touch with licensed mental health professionals who can meet through text, email, or videoconference often as soon as 24-48 hours. And if you use the link http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch, you will receive 10% off your first month of services. Please make your mental health a priority, http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch offers affordable counseling, and they even have sliding scale options if your budget is tight.
You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program, The Path Back, by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to receive updates on upcoming programs and podcasts.
Tony mentioned a product that he used to take out all of the "uh's" and "um's" that, in his words, "must be created by wizards and magic!" because it's that good! To learn more about Descript, click here https://descript.com?lmref=v95myQ
What is the best time of day to make a decision? And what are the differences between morning “larks” vs night owls when it comes to decision making? Is one more ethical than the other? Actually, the answer is yes! Tony refers to these two articles during the episode: “Is there an ideal time of day for decision-making?”
https://www.psychologicalscience.org/news/minds-business/is-there-an-ideal-time-of-day-for-decision-making.html and “The best time of day to make critical business decisions,” https://sba.thehartford.com/business-management/best-time-to-make-critical-decisions/
Take advantage today of the Relationship Mastery Pack that Tony mentioned on the episode https://www.epicmarriageclub.com/a/2147499720/h3Cn8yaE Get thousands of dollars in relationship tools for one special Black Friday price featuring Tony's brand new parenting course: 3 Keys to Positive Parenting - Bring the Positivity without Messing Up Your Kids Even if You're Not Sure Where to Start! Go to https://www.epicmarriageclub.com/a/2147499720/h3Cn8yaE to sign up for thousands of dollars worth of relationship tools for less than the cost of one therapy session.
Nate Christensen, APCC, makes his record fourth appearance on The Virtual Couch to talk more about our minds and the stories they tell us to try and make sense of the world. Nate and Tony discuss several fundamental discoveries from Rick Hanson and Richard Mendius’ book The Buddha’s Brain: The Practical Science of Happiness, Love and Neuroscience https://www.amazon.com/Buddhas-Brain-Practical-Neuroscience-Happiness/dp/1572246952/ as well as Daniel Kahneman’s book Noise: A Flaw in Human Judgement https://www.amazon.com/Noise-Human-Judgment-Daniel-Kahneman/dp/0316451401/
Take advantage today of the Relationship Mastery Pack that Tony mentioned on the episode https://www.epicmarriageclub.com/a/2147499720/h3Cn8yaE Get thousands of dollars in relationship tools for one special Black Friday price featuring Tony's brand new parenting course: 3 Keys to Positive Parenting - Bring the Positivity without Messing Up Your Kids Even if You're Not Sure Where to Start! Go to https://www.epicmarriageclub.com/a/2147499720/h3Cn8yaE to sign up for thousands of dollars worth of relationship tools for less than the cost of one therapy session.
With the continuing "sheltering" rules spreading across the country, PLEASE do not think you can't continue or begin therapy now. http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch can put you quickly in touch with licensed mental health professionals who can meet through text, email, or videoconference often as soon as 24-48 hours. And if you use the link http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch, you will receive 10% off your first month of services. Please make your mental health a priority, http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch offers affordable counseling, and they even have sliding scale options if your budget is tight.
You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program, The Path Back, by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to receive updates on upcoming programs and podcasts.
Tony mentioned a product that he used to take out all of the "uh's" and "um's" that, in his words, "must be created by wizards and magic!" because it's that good! To learn more about Descript, click here https://descript.com?lmref=v95myQ
Tony shares why opposites don't attract in the long run and why ultimately we like people who are more similar to us. PLUS Nate Bagley, relationship researcher and host of the Growth Marriage podcast, comes on to talk about his incredible Relationship Mastery Pack https://www.epicmarriageclub.com/a/2147499720/h3Cn8yaE Get thousands of dollars in relationship tools for one special Black Friday price featuring Tony's brand new parenting course: 3 Keys to Positive Parenting - Bring the Positivity without Messing Up Your Kids Even if You're Not Sure Where to Start! Go to https://www.epicmarriageclub.com/a/2147499720/h3Cn8yaE to sign up for thousands of dollars worth of relationship tools for less than the cost of one therapy session.
In today's episode, Tony refers to the article "Do Opposites Really Attract?" by Clifford Lazarus Ph.D. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/think-well/201907/do-opposites-really-attract and "Why Do We Like People Who Are Similar to Us?" by Gwendolyn Seidman Ph.D. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/close-encounters/201812/why-do-we-people-who-are-similar-us
With the continuing "sheltering" rules spreading across the country, PLEASE do not think you can't continue or begin therapy now. http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch can put you quickly in touch with licensed mental health professionals who can meet through text, email, or videoconference often as soon as 24-48 hours. And if you use the link http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch, you will receive 10% off your first month of services. Please make your mental health a priority, http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch offers affordable counseling, and they even have sliding scale options if your budget is tight.
You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program, The Path Back, by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to receive updates on upcoming programs and podcasts.
Tony mentioned a product that he used to take out all of the "uh's" and "um's" that, in his words, "must be created by wizards and magic!" because it's that good! To learn more about Descript, click here https://descript.com?lmref=v95myQ
Tony explores why where the need for external validation comes from. Why do we care what others think? And why the need for external validation is the opposite thing to do for self-confidence and to feel connected to others.
With the continuing "sheltering" rules spreading across the country, PLEASE do not think you can't continue or begin therapy now. http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch can put you quickly in touch with licensed mental health professionals who can meet through text, email, or videoconference often as soon as 24-48 hours. And if you use the link http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch, you will receive 10% off your first month of services. Please make your mental health a priority, http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch offers affordable counseling, and they even have sliding scale options if your budget is tight.
You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program, The Path Back, by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to receive updates on upcoming programs and podcasts.
Tony mentioned a product that he used to take out all of the "uh's" and "um's" that, in his words, "must be created by wizards and magic!" because it's that good! To learn more about Descript, click here https://descript.com?lmref=v95myQ
Each of us is a unique mixture of life experiences, and we bring all of those experiences into our conversations with others. In today's episode, Tony explores the role of context in conversations. Tony shares an example of how one word can dramatically change the meaning of an entire paragraph from the book "On Being Certain: Believing You Are Right Even When You Are Not," by Dr. Robert Burton https://www.amazon.com/Being-Certain-Believing-Right-Youre/dp/031254152X/ and he shares cultural differences from the article "15 Fascinating Cultural Difference Around the World," from https://www.cheftariq.com/lifestyle/cultural-differences-around-the-world/ Tony also uses his 4 Pillars of a Connected Conversation to show the importance of curiosity and context in conversations.
Go to http://tonyoverbay.com/magnetic right now to sign up for Tony's free marriage workshop held Wednesday, November 3rd at 6 PM PT!
Tony introduces his latest podcast, "Waking Up to Narcissism." In this crossover episode, Tony shares that narcissistic tendencies or traits can come in many different forms and levels of severity. At the same time, as a mental health condition, there is currently only one diagnosis. Tony tackles the question of whether or not we use the label of narcissism too broadly, and if we spoke more about what narcissistic traits and tendencies looked like in our everyday lives, would more people be able to take ownership of their narcissistic tendencies, or behaviors?
Tony refers to the article "5 Types of Narcissism and How to Recognize Each," by Courtney Telloian (medically reviewed by Jeffrey Ditzell, DO) from PsychCentral https://psychcentral.com/health/types-of-narcissism.
If you have questions or comments, or suggestions for a topic of a future episode or if you want to share your story or examples of gaslighting in your relationships, please send through the contact form at http://tonyoverbay.com
Visit http://tonyoverbay.com/magnetic to learn more about Tony's Magnetic Marriage program, or visit http://tonyoverbay.com to take Tony's free parenting course, or to learn more about his best-selling book; or only recovery program "The Path Back." And please subscribe to "Waking Up to Narcissism," Tony's brand new podcast, which is part of The Virtual Couch podcast network.
Are compliments ever a bad thing? And how important is the delivery of a compliment? Are people genuinely going over your compliments with a spell checker and thesaurus taking offense to the improper use of has, have, or had? Today Tony tackles the topic of compliments and why it would do us all good to embrace both the giving and the receiving of compliments. Tony references the article "You Probably Don't Compliment Other People Often Enough" by Art Markman Ph.D. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/ulterior-motives/202110/you-probably-don-t-compliment-other-people-often-enough as well as "Scientific explanation to why people perform better after receiving a compliment," from https://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2012/11/121109111517.htm
Please find out more about Tony's Magnetic Marriage program by contacting him through http://tonyoverbay.com or by visiting http://tonyoverbay.com/magnetic.
. With the continuing "sheltering" rules spreading across the country, PLEASE do not think you can't continue or begin therapy now. http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch can put you quickly in touch with licensed mental health professionals who can meet through text, email, or videoconference often as soon as 24-48 hours. And if you use the link http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch, you will receive 10% off your first month of services. Please make your mental health a priority, http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch offers affordable counseling, and they even have sliding scale options if your budget is tight.
You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program, The Path Back, by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to receive updates on upcoming programs and podcasts.
Tony mentioned a product that he used to take out all of the "uh's" and "um's" that, in his words, "must be created by wizards and magic!" because it's that good! To learn more about Descript, click here https://descript.com?lmref=v95myQ
Tony talks about gossip as a social skill. According to the article, "Psychologists say that gossiping is a social skill. Here's how to know if you're doing it right," https://www.nbcnews.com/better/lifestyle/psychologists-say-gossiping-social-skill-here-s-how-know-if-ncna1056941 there is a healthy, productive way to gossip. Gossip, according to research, may actually be one of the societal forces that bring us together and help maintain social order.
Go to http://tonyoverbay.com/magnetic to learn more about the next round of Tony's transformative marriage course "Magnetic Marriage." And please subscribe to Tony's latest podcast, "Waking Up to Narcissism," wherever you listen to podcasts.
How certain are you about the facts of your experiences? Better yet, does it truly matter to be certain? Would you rather be right, or would you rather connect? Today Tony takes a look at certainty through the lens of 50 popular myths that many of us have grown up believing. Tony references the article "50 Well-Known 'Facts' That Are Actually Just Common Myths" https://bestlifeonline.com/common-myths/ and he references Dr. Robert Burton's book: On Being Certain - Believing You Are Right Even When You're Not https://www.amazon.com/Being-Certain-Believing-Right-Youre/dp/031254152X/ And if you're interested in hearing Tony speak in Utah Saturday, October 16th from 1 to 5 PM head to https://leadingsaints.org/tonyinutah for more information. Seating is limited.
Visit http://tonyoverbay.com/magnetic to learn more about Tony’s Magnetic Marriage program, or visit http://tonyoverbay.com to take Tony’s free parenting course, or to learn more about his best-selling book; or only recovery program “The Path Back.” And please subscribe to “Waking Up to Narcissism,” Tony’s brand new podcast, which is part of The Virtual Couch podcast network.
Tony will be speaking at the Leading Saints LIVE event on October 16th, 2021, from 1:00 PM to 5:00 PM at the Wallsburg Town Hall, 70 W Main Canyon Road, Wallsburg, UT 84082. You can get tickets for the event at http://leadingsaints.org/tonyinutah. There will be a limited number of seats for the event. The recording of the event will be available publicly in early 2022.
Tony will be tackling topics like communication, from communicating between spouses, parent-to-child communication, and how to communicate more effectively as a leader. Tony will take a deep dive into his Four Pillars of a Connected Conversation, and he will show how to implement the "4 Pillar" framework into a variety of situations. He will also talk about navigating a faith journey, both individually as well as a couple. And Tony will tackle everything from parenting to personality disorders (from his Waking Up to Narcissism podcast), recovering from turning to pornography, or any other addictive behavior, as a coping mechanism, and so much more. Plus, he will be answering questions throughout the presentation. Go to http://leadingsaints.org/tonyinutah to get your tickets today.
Tony describes in detail how his "4 Pillars of a Connected Conversation" works, including how to apply the 4 Pillars in any conversation where you feel stuck, unheard, unseen, or unloved. The 4 Pillars are: 1) Assuming good intentions, 2) Don't send the message of "you're wrong" or "I don't believe you," EVEN IF you think the other person is wrong, or you don't believe them, 3) Ask questions BEFORE making comments, and 4) Stay present, lean in, do all that you can to stay out of "victim mode." These 4 Pillars, along with the paradigm shift that the goal of a conversation is to be heard, not to resolve, will lead to more connected conversations.
Visit http://tonyoverbay.com/magnetic to learn more about Tony's Magnetic Marriage program, or visit http://tonyoverbay.com to take Tony's free parenting course, or to learn more about his best-selling book; or only recovery program "The Path Back." And please subscribe to "Waking Up to Narcissism," Tony's brand new podcast, which is part of The Virtual Couch podcast network.
Despite what you hear from the self-help world change takes time, so it is important to give yourself a little more grace. If beating yourself up was the key to success, then we'd all already be perfect! Tony shares his secrets on how to become unstuck, and why we continually try to think our way out of thinking problems, and why our brain, bless its pink squishy heart, thinks it's doing us a solid by keeping us heading down the same deeply rutted neuropathways. Plus, learn the mysteries of "piloting the human meat suit."
Visit http://tonyoverbay.com/magnetic to learn more about Tony’s Magnetic Marriage program, or visit http://tonyoverbay.com to take Tony’s free parenting course, or to learn more about his best-selling book; or only recovery program “The Path Back.” And please subscribe to “Waking Up to Narcissism,” Tony’s brand new podcast, which is part of The Virtual Couch podcast network.
Tony talks about why unfinished tasks take up so much emotional energy and why, even with this knowledge, it can be so challenging to begin even the most simple project. The Ziegarnik Effect is the tendency to remember unfinished tasks better than finished tasks. Tony "reacts to" Cynthia Vinney's article "The Ziegarnik Effect? Definitions and Examples" https://www.thoughtco.com/zeigarnik-effect-4771725 Understanding how The Ziegarnik Effect works can help you address procrastination, poor study habits, and more.
Sign up now to learn more about Tony's next round of his Magnetic Marriage course http://tonyoverbay.com/magnetic
Tony welcomes his daughter McKinley (Mackie) back to The Virtual Couch. Mackie talks about what it took for her to shed the “shoulds” in her life, “you should go to college, you should be a teacher, you should, you should, you should!” and how she ultimately took action on following a path she knew she secretly wanted since middle school. Mackie shares how her depression clouded her dreams even when her parents said that they supported whatever she wanted to do in life and what, if anything, they could have done differently to help her through some of her darkest days. You can find her at Ivory Salon Suites here https://www.ivorysalonandsuites.com/ or follow her professional page on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/beautybymackie/
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Visit http://tonyoverbay.com/magnetic to learn more about Tony’s Magnetic Marriage program, or visit http://tonyoverbay.com to take Tony’s free parenting course, or to learn more about his best-selling book; or only recovery program “The Path Back.” And please subscribe to “Waking Up to Narcissism,” Tony’s brand new podcast, which is part of The Virtual Couch podcast network.
Tony breaks down Douglas Kenrick, PhD's article "7 Scientifically Supported Steps to Happiness," https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/sex-murder-and-the-meaning-life/202109/7-scientifically-supported-steps-happiness based off of Sonja Lyubomirsky's book "The How of Happiness: A scientific approach to getting the life you want." Sign up today to be the first to know when the next round of The Magnetic Marriage Course will launch http://tonyoverbay.com/magnetic
Geoff Steurer, LMFT talks with Tony about how to rebuild trust in a relationship even after situations that couples believed they would a) never stand for in their marriage and b) believe healing was even possible, like infidelity and betrayal. Geoff is the host of the podcast "From Crisis to Connection" and co-author of the book, "Love You, Hate the Porn: Healing a Relationship Damaged by Virtual Infidelity."
You can find Geoff at https://www.geoffsteurer.com or on Instagram: @geoffsteurer or Facebook: @geoffsteurerMFT
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Sign up for Geoff's Trust Building Bootcamp by following this link https://www.geoffsteurer.com/a/18461/ZB9Pb8qW and enter VIRTUALCOUCH15 for 15% off the course.
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Tony appeared on two episodes of Geoff's podcast "Protecting your marriage in a faith crisis (part 1) - Tony Overbay - Episode 93" https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/from-crisis-to-connection-with-geoff-steurer/id1290359940?i=1000522608518 and "Protecting your marriage in a faith crisis (part 2) - Tony Overbay - Episode 94" https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/from-crisis-to-connection-with-geoff-steurer/id1290359940?i=1000523235363
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Sign up today to be the first to know when the next round of The Magnetic Marriage Course will launch http://tonyoverbay.com/magnetic
If you want to know what you need to do with your life, ask somebody close to you. Chances are they'll immediately have an opinion. But when they do share what they think YOU need to do with YOUR life, why do you immediately think of doing the opposite? Better yet, why can they come up with an answer and direction for YOUR life easier than YOU can...because it's YOUR life!
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Tony starts with Fowler's Stages of Faith, applying them to life in general, touches the bases on attachment, values, and then slides into home in a made-up land where you can be your value-based, unique, one-of-a-kind version of you...the land tentatively called "Differentiation-ville!"
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Sign up today to be the first to know when the next round of The Magnetic Marriage Course will launch http://tonyoverbay.com/magnetic
Tony welcomes Magnetic Marriage co-creator Preston Pugmire, host of the Next Level Life Podcast, and award-winning life coach, onto the show to talk about the steps of accountability, and how moving from an unconscious reactor to a conscious creator will have immediate and long-lasting positive effects on everything in your life, from your marriage, and parenting to business and personal development. You can work with Preston individually by contacting him on Instagram @preston.pugmire Facebook https://www.facebook.com/prestonpugmire1 or through his website http://prestonpugmire.com
Sign up today to be the first to know when the next round of The Magnetic Marriage Course will launch http://tonyoverbay.com/magnetic
Tony shares why values are so important, and how a thought truly is simply a thought...thoughts do not always lead to action. He also describes the most effective thing to do when you're feeling down, lonely, anxious, depressed, or any other feeling. You can find Russ Harris' values worksheet here https://psychwire.com/harris/resources
The phrase "gaslighting" is making the rounds lately, and with the increased awareness around the term, many people are accusing their spouses, parents, and co-workers of gaslighting them in all areas of life. A lot of times, the accuser is correct, by definition, meaning yes, the person they are accusing may be trying to convince them that what they are saying isn't true, but is gaslighting always intentional? Can gaslighting come from a place of simply being misunderstood or is it always calculated and malicious? In today's episode I cover an article on The Good Men Project's website called: 4 Levels of Gaslighting: From Unconscious to Malicious by Paget Norton, and I also give more listener examples of gaslighting.
Go to tonyoverbay.com/magnetic today to learn more about Tony's next round of the Magnetic Marriage course!
In English, we use the word love to describe a variety of emotional states. Are we talking about passionate love, intimate love, committed love, unconditional love or do you tell somebody that you love them simply as a term of endearment? Some people grew up hearing “I love you” on a daily basis in their family, while others are still waiting for the day that their parent may finally utter those three simple words that they have been craving since childhood. Tony talks about Sternberg’s Triangular Theory of Love, and how not only our interpretation of the word, or concept of love, as well as how we put “love” into action can go a long way in describing our relationships...from where they are now, to what you may long for. (Tony refers to the article https://www.elitesingles.com/mag/relationship-advice/consummate-love throughout the episode).
Head to tonyoverbay.com/magnetic to be the first to know the start date of Tony's next round of his "Magnetic Marriage" course.
This episode of The Virtual Couch is sponsored by http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch With the continuing “sheltering” rules that are spreading across the country PLEASE do not think that you can’t continue or begin therapy now. http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch can put you quickly in touch with licensed mental health professionals who can meet through text, email, or videoconference often as soon as 24-48 hours. And if you use the link http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch you will receive 10% off your first month of services. Please make your own mental health a priority, http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch offers affordable counseling, and they even have sliding scale options if your budget is tight. Tony's FREE parenting course, “Tips For Parenting Positively Even In the Not So Positive Times” is available NOW. Just go to https://www.tonyoverbay.com/courses-2/ and sign up today. This course will help you understand why it can be so difficult to communicate with and understand your children. You’ll learn how to keep your buttons hidden, how to genuinely give praise that will truly build inner wealth in your child, teen, or even in your adult children, and you’ll learn how to move from being “the punisher” to being someone your children will want to go to when they need help.Tony's new best-selling book "He's a Porn Addict...Now What? An Expert and a Former Addict Answer Your Questions" is now available on Kindle. https://amzn.to/38mauBoTony Overbay, is the co-author of "He's a Porn Addict...Now What? An Expert and a Former Addict Answer Your Questions" now available on Amazon https://amzn.to/33fk0U4. The book debuted in the number 1 spot in the Sexual Health Recovery category and remains there as the time of this record. The book has received numerous positive reviews from professionals in the mental health and recovery fields.You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program The Path Back by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to receive updates on upcoming programs, and podcasts.Tony mentioned a product that he used to take out all of the "uh's" and "um's" that, in his words, "must be created by wizards and magic!" because it's that good! To learn more about Descript click here https://descript.com?lmref=v95myQ
Tony talks about the mental health and life lessons learned on a recent trip to Disneyland, including the brain’s fascination with anticipation vs. reward, the psychological importance of nostalgia, the “Coolidge Effect,”; how to “let go and play” (http://playtheory.org). Plus, Tony shares the application of his “4 Pillars of a Connected Conversation” with his wife during a ride on Pirates of the Caribbean. Tony also discusses mindfulness tips, how “kindness wins,” and the link between ADHD and “hangry.”
Head to tonyoverbay.com/magnetic to be the first to know the start date of Tony's next round of his "Magnetic Marriage" course.
This episode of The Virtual Couch is sponsored by http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch With the continuing “sheltering” rules that are spreading across the country PLEASE do not think that you can’t continue or begin therapy now. http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch can put you quickly in touch with licensed mental health professionals who can meet through text, email, or videoconference often as soon as 24-48 hours. And if you use the link http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch you will receive 10% off your first month of services. Please make your own mental health a priority, http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch offers affordable counseling, and they even have sliding scale options if your budget is tight. Tony's FREE parenting course, “Tips For Parenting Positively Even In the Not So Positive Times” is available NOW. Just go to https://www.tonyoverbay.com/courses-2/ and sign up today. This course will help you understand why it can be so difficult to communicate with and understand your children. You’ll learn how to keep your buttons hidden, how to genuinely give praise that will truly build inner wealth in your child, teen, or even in your adult children, and you’ll learn how to move from being “the punisher” to being someone your children will want to go to when they need help.Tony's new best-selling book "He's a Porn Addict...Now What? An Expert and a Former Addict Answer Your Questions" is now available on Kindle. https://amzn.to/38mauBoTony Overbay, is the co-author of "He's a Porn Addict...Now What? An Expert and a Former Addict Answer Your Questions" now available on Amazon https://amzn.to/33fk0U4. The book debuted in the number 1 spot in the Sexual Health Recovery category and remains there as the time of this record. The book has received numerous positive reviews from professionals in the mental health and recovery fields.You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program The Path Back by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to receive updates on upcoming programs, and podcasts.Tony mentioned a product that he used to take out all of the "uh's" and "um's" that, in his words, "must be created by wizards and magic!" because it's that good! To learn more about Descript click here https://descript.com?lmref=v95myQ
What do you do with those pesky unwanted, irrational, and sometimes downright inappropriate or scary thoughts? Hint - trying to stop them, push them away, or change them can often make them even stronger. Tony shares the "numbers" metaphor from Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) which teaches that the brain works by addition, not subtraction, and shares the most helpful way to look at thoughts, feelings, and emotions.
In adult relationships, you can have control or love, but not both. In today’s episode, Tony takes a look at the concept of control. While control may be biologically hardwired for survival, it doesn’t mean that it is best when dealing with human emotion.
In Tony’s example of how a conductor controls an orchestra, he refers to the article “What does a maestro do,” from https://www.jacksonsymphony.org/what-does-a-maestro-do/ and he briefly mentions the article “Born for Control” https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2944661/ as well as “Why Controlling Others Creates Conflict” https://greatergood.berkeley.edu/article/item/why_losing_control_make_you_happier
This episode of The Virtual Couch is sponsored by http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch With the continuing “sheltering” rules that are spreading across the country PLEASE do not think that you can’t continue or begin therapy now. http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch can put you quickly in touch with licensed mental health professionals who can meet through text, email, or videoconference often as soon as 24-48 hours. And if you use the link http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch you will receive 10% off your first month of services. Please make your own mental health a priority, http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch offers affordable counseling, and they even have sliding scale options if your budget is tight. Tony's FREE parenting course, “Tips For Parenting Positively Even In the Not So Positive Times” is available NOW. Just go to https://www.tonyoverbay.com/courses-2/ and sign up today. This course will help you understand why it can be so difficult to communicate with and understand your children. You’ll learn how to keep your buttons hidden, how to genuinely give praise that will truly build inner wealth in your child, teen, or even in your adult children, and you’ll learn how to move from being “the punisher” to being someone your children will want to go to when they need help.Tony's new best-selling book "He's a Porn Addict...Now What? An Expert and a Former Addict Answer Your Questions" is now available on Kindle. https://amzn.to/38mauBoTony Overbay, is the co-author of "He's a Porn Addict...Now What? An Expert and a Former Addict Answer Your Questions" now available on Amazon https://amzn.to/33fk0U4. The book debuted in the number 1 spot in the Sexual Health Recovery category and remains there as the time of this record. The book has received numerous positive reviews from professionals in the mental health and recovery fields.You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program The Path Back by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to receive updates on upcoming programs, and podcasts.Tony mentioned a product that he used to take out all of the "uh's" and "um's" that, in his words, "must be created by wizards and magic!" because it's that good! To learn more about Descript click here https://descript.com?lmref=v95myQ
Want to help your kids succeed? Let them see you struggle, let them see you fail, let them know you are human! Tony talks about a fascinating study out of MIT that shows how modeling the reality of not immediately succeeding at something can have a positive impact on kids as young as 15 months old. The article Tony references "Want to raise successful kids, MIT scientists say let them watch you do this..." by Bill Murphy Jr. (https://www.inc.com/bill-murphy-jr/want-to-raise-successful-kids-mit-scientists-say-let-them-watch-you-do-this-but-most-parents-are-afraid-to.html) also breaks down the challenges of kids growing up with a "fixed" mindset vs a "growth" mindset.
This episode of The Virtual Couch is sponsored by http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch With the continuing “sheltering” rules that are spreading across the country PLEASE do not think that you can’t continue or begin therapy now. http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch can put you quickly in touch with licensed mental health professionals who can meet through text, email, or videoconference often as soon as 24-48 hours. And if you use the link http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch you will receive 10% off your first month of services. Please make your own mental health a priority, http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch offers affordable counseling, and they even have sliding scale options if your budget is tight. Tony's FREE parenting course, “Tips For Parenting Positively Even In the Not So Positive Times” is available NOW. Just go to https://www.tonyoverbay.com/courses-2/ and sign up today. This course will help you understand why it can be so difficult to communicate with and understand your children. You’ll learn how to keep your buttons hidden, how to genuinely give praise that will truly build inner wealth in your child, teen, or even in your adult children, and you’ll learn how to move from being “the punisher” to being someone your children will want to go to when they need help.Tony's new best-selling book "He's a Porn Addict...Now What? An Expert and a Former Addict Answer Your Questions" is now available on Kindle. https://amzn.to/38mauBoTony Overbay, is the co-author of "He's a Porn Addict...Now What? An Expert and a Former Addict Answer Your Questions" now available on Amazon https://amzn.to/33fk0U4. The book debuted in the number 1 spot in the Sexual Health Recovery category and remains there as the time of this record. The book has received numerous positive reviews from professionals in the mental health and recovery fields.You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program The Path Back by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to receive updates on upcoming programs, and podcasts.Tony mentioned a product that he used to take out all of the "uh's" and "um's" that, in his words, "must be created by wizards and magic!" because it's that good! To learn more about Descript click here https://descript.com?lmref=v95myQ
Tony talks about processing betrayal trauma with Brannon Patrick. Brannon Patrick is an expert in the field of Betrayal Trauma, and he plays the role of "the Expert" in the popular podcast "The Betrayed, The Addict and The Expert." His podcast follows the recovery journey of Ashlynn and Coby, a couple who have been able to move forward as a result of the pain of betrayal and addiction. Brannon has developed several group systems and programs for addiction recovery. He has specialized training as a Certified Sexual Addiction Therapist (CSAT) which has helped him learn how to treat sexual addiction and betrayal trauma. Brannon is also trained in Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR), Dialectical Behavioral Therapy (DBT) and Cognitive Behavioral Therapy. Brannon is the co-clinical director and owner of TherapyUTAH and he has developed several programs to help individuals, and couples, heal from betrayal, as well as addiction.
This episode of The Virtual Couch is sponsored by http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch With the continuing “sheltering” rules that are spreading across the country PLEASE do not think that you can’t continue or begin therapy now. http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch can put you quickly in touch with licensed mental health professionals who can meet through text, email, or videoconference often as soon as 24-48 hours. And if you use the link http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch you will receive 10% off your first month of services. Please make your own mental health a priority, http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch offers affordable counseling, and they even have sliding scale options if your budget is tight. Tony's FREE parenting course, “Tips For Parenting Positively Even In the Not So Positive Times” is available NOW. Just go to https://www.tonyoverbay.com/courses-2/ and sign up today. This course will help you understand why it can be so difficult to communicate with and understand your children. You’ll learn how to keep your buttons hidden, how to genuinely give praise that will truly build inner wealth in your child, teen, or even in your adult children, and you’ll learn how to move from being “the punisher” to being someone your children will want to go to when they need help.Tony's new best-selling book "He's a Porn Addict...Now What? An Expert and a Former Addict Answer Your Questions" is now available on Kindle. https://amzn.to/38mauBoTony Overbay, is the co-author of "He's a Porn Addict...Now What? An Expert and a Former Addict Answer Your Questions" now available on Amazon https://amzn.to/33fk0U4. The book debuted in the number 1 spot in the Sexual Health Recovery category and remains there as the time of this record. The book has received numerous positive reviews from professionals in the mental health and recovery fields.You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program The Path Back by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to receive updates on upcoming programs, and podcasts.Tony mentioned a product that he used to take out all of the "uh's" and "um's" that, in his words, "must be created by wizards and magic!" because it's that good! To learn more about Descript click here https://descript.com?lmref=v95myQ
Tony discusses the 4 Steps of Differentiation from the article "Psychological Differentiation" from https://www.psychalive.org/psychological-differentiation/ The 4 Steps are based on the work of Dr. Robert Firestone from his book "The Self-Under Siege: A Therapeutic Model for Differentiation," Visit http://tonyoverbay.com to sign up for Tony's newsletter and to find out more about his programs for couples communication, parenting, pornography recovery and more. You can find Russ Harris' values worksheet here https://psychwire.com/harris/resources
This episode of The Virtual Couch is sponsored by http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch With the continuing “sheltering” rules that are spreading across the country PLEASE do not think that you can’t continue or begin therapy now. http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch can put you quickly in touch with licensed mental health professionals who can meet through text, email, or videoconference often as soon as 24-48 hours. And if you use the link http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch you will receive 10% off your first month of services. Please make your own mental health a priority, http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch offers affordable counseling, and they even have sliding scale options if your budget is tight. Tony's FREE parenting course, “Tips For Parenting Positively Even In the Not So Positive Times” is available NOW. Just go to https://www.tonyoverbay.com/courses-2/ and sign up today. This course will help you understand why it can be so difficult to communicate with and understand your children. You’ll learn how to keep your buttons hidden, how to genuinely give praise that will truly build inner wealth in your child, teen, or even in your adult children, and you’ll learn how to move from being “the punisher” to being someone your children will want to go to when they need help.Tony's new best-selling book "He's a Porn Addict...Now What? An Expert and a Former Addict Answer Your Questions" is now available on Kindle. https://amzn.to/38mauBoTony Overbay, is the co-author of "He's a Porn Addict...Now What? An Expert and a Former Addict Answer Your Questions" now available on Amazon https://amzn.to/33fk0U4. The book debuted in the number 1 spot in the Sexual Health Recovery category and remains there as the time of this record. The book has received numerous positive reviews from professionals in the mental health and recovery fields.You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program The Path Back by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to receive updates on upcoming programs, and podcasts.Tony mentioned a product that he used to take out all of the "uh's" and "um's" that, in his words, "must be created by wizards and magic!" because it's that good! To learn more about Descript click here https://descript.com?lmref=v95myQ
Nate Christensen, APCC, joins Tony to discuss attachment styles and how they relate to addiction, and how attachment shows up in marriage. Out of the various attachment styles, what does it look like when an anxious attachment style meets up with an avoidant attachment style in relationships where trust has been broken? If you are interested in working with Nate you can contact him through the contact form on Tony's website http://tonyoverbay.com. Tony and Nate are also facilitating Tony's pornography recovery program The Path Back, find out more at http://pathbackrecovery.com
This episode of The Virtual Couch is sponsored by http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch With the continuing “sheltering” rules that are spreading across the country PLEASE do not think that you can’t continue or begin therapy now. http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch can put you quickly in touch with licensed mental health professionals who can meet through text, email, or videoconference often as soon as 24-48 hours. And if you use the link http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch you will receive 10% off your first month of services. Please make your own mental health a priority, http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch offers affordable counseling, and they even have sliding scale options if your budget is tight. Tony's FREE parenting course, “Tips For Parenting Positively Even In the Not So Positive Times” is available NOW. Just go to https://www.tonyoverbay.com/courses-2/ and sign up today. This course will help you understand why it can be so difficult to communicate with and understand your children. You’ll learn how to keep your buttons hidden, how to genuinely give praise that will truly build inner wealth in your child, teen, or even in your adult children, and you’ll learn how to move from being “the punisher” to being someone your children will want to go to when they need help.Tony's new best-selling book "He's a Porn Addict...Now What? An Expert and a Former Addict Answer Your Questions" is now available on Kindle. https://amzn.to/38mauBoTony Overbay, is the co-author of "He's a Porn Addict...Now What? An Expert and a Former Addict Answer Your Questions" now available on Amazon https://amzn.to/33fk0U4. The book debuted in the number 1 spot in the Sexual Health Recovery category and remains there as the time of this record. The book has received numerous positive reviews from professionals in the mental health and recovery fields.You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program The Path Back by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to receive updates on upcoming programs, and podcasts.Tony mentioned a product that he used to take out all of the "uh's" and "um's" that, in his words, "must be created by wizards and magic!" because it's that good! To learn more about Descript click here https://descript.com?lmref=v95myQ
Have you ever felt like you’re in a vicious game of tug-of-war with the struggles in your life? Afraid that if you don’t pull hard enough you’ll fall into the bottomless pit in front of you? What would happen if you dropped the rope in the tug-of-war with anxiety, depression, or fear? Or have you heard the metaphor about the person in the hole? The person is smart, capable, hard-working, but what if they have the wrong tool at the bottom of that hole, a shovel for example. You can be the smartest, most hard-working person in the world, and having a shovel in the bottom of a hole isn’t going to get you too far. Sometimes a good metaphor can go a long way in helping explain to others, or even better yet, to ourselves, the struggles we may have on a day-to-day basis.
In today’s episode, Tony shares Brian Pennie’s article “How to Avoid Psychological Traps - 3 Metaphors that Lead to a Lifetime of Happiness,” https://medium.com/swlh/avoid-psychological-traps-by-embracing-these-powerful-metaphors-3be3a87cc9f1
This episode of The Virtual Couch is sponsored by http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch With the continuing “sheltering” rules that are spreading across the country PLEASE do not think that you can’t continue or begin therapy now. http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch can put you quickly in touch with licensed mental health professionals who can meet through text, email, or videoconference often as soon as 24-48 hours. And if you use the link http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch you will receive 10% off your first month of services. Please make your own mental health a priority, http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch offers affordable counseling, and they even have sliding scale options if your budget is tight. Tony's FREE parenting course, “Tips For Parenting Positively Even In the Not So Positive Times” is available NOW. Just go to https://www.tonyoverbay.com/courses-2/ and sign up today. This course will help you understand why it can be so difficult to communicate with and understand your children. You’ll learn how to keep your buttons hidden, how to genuinely give praise that will truly build inner wealth in your child, teen, or even in your adult children, and you’ll learn how to move from being “the punisher” to being someone your children will want to go to when they need help.Tony's new best-selling book "He's a Porn Addict...Now What? An Expert and a Former Addict Answer Your Questions" is now available on Kindle. https://amzn.to/38mauBoTony Overbay, is the co-author of "He's a Porn Addict...Now What? An Expert and a Former Addict Answer Your Questions" now available on Amazon https://amzn.to/33fk0U4. The book debuted in the number 1 spot in the Sexual Health Recovery category and remains there as the time of this record. The book has received numerous positive reviews from professionals in the mental health and recovery fields.You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program The Path Back by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to receive updates on upcoming programs, and podcasts.Tony mentioned a product that he used to take out all of the "uh's" and "um's" that, in his words, "must be created by wizards and magic!" because it's that good! To learn more about Descript click here https://descript.com?lmref=v95myQ
Kurt Francom, podcast host, and executive director of Leading Saints, takes over The Virtual Couch to share a recent interview that Tony did for their "Mentally Healthy Saints Virtual Summit." The topic of Tony's presentation was "Acceptance Doesn't Mean Apathy," where Tony shares Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) principles in the context of religious leadership. You can gain full access to the Mentally Healthy Saints Virtual Summit for two weeks by signing up at http://leadinglds.org/tony Leading Saints is a non-profit (501c3) organization that creates content (podcasts, written articles, virtual/live conferences, etc.) to help religious leaders become better.
This episode of The Virtual Couch is sponsored by http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch With the continuing “sheltering” rules that are spreading across the country PLEASE do not think that you can’t continue or begin therapy now. http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch can put you quickly in touch with licensed mental health professionals who can meet through text, email, or videoconference often as soon as 24-48 hours. And if you use the link http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch you will receive 10% off your first month of services. Please make your own mental health a priority, http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch offers affordable counseling, and they even have sliding scale options if your budget is tight. Tony's FREE parenting course, “Tips For Parenting Positively Even In the Not So Positive Times” is available NOW. Just go to https://www.tonyoverbay.com/courses-2/ and sign up today. This course will help you understand why it can be so difficult to communicate with and understand your children. You’ll learn how to keep your buttons hidden, how to genuinely give praise that will truly build inner wealth in your child, teen, or even in your adult children, and you’ll learn how to move from being “the punisher” to being someone your children will want to go to when they need help.Tony's new best-selling book "He's a Porn Addict...Now What? An Expert and a Former Addict Answer Your Questions" is now available on Kindle. https://amzn.to/38mauBoTony Overbay, is the co-author of "He's a Porn Addict...Now What? An Expert and a Former Addict Answer Your Questions" now available on Amazon https://amzn.to/33fk0U4. The book debuted in the number 1 spot in the Sexual Health Recovery category and remains there as the time of this record. The book has received numerous positive reviews from professionals in the mental health and recovery fields.You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program The Path Back by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to receive updates on upcoming programs, and podcasts.Tony mentioned a product that he used to take out all of the "uh's" and "um's" that, in his words, "must be created by wizards and magic!" because it's that good! To learn more about Descript click here https://descript.com?lmref=v95myQ
Tony talks about a recent health scare "wait, am I seriously having a heart attack?" and how that led to his desire to be more present, grateful and to make changes in his life. But do major life scares, events, even near-death-experiences (NDEs) lead to long-lasting change? Tony reviews this 5 steps of the "Transtheoretical Model of Change" or TTM from the article "Why it's Hard to Change Unhealthy Behavior - and Why You Should Keep Trying" from Harvard Medical School's Harvard Health Publishing site. https://www.health.harvard.edu/newsletter_article/why-its-hard-to-change-unhealthy-behavior-and-why-you-should-keep-trying
Please subscribe to The Virtual Couch YouTube channel at https://www.youtube.com/c/TheVirtualCouchPodcast/ and follow The Virtual Couch on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/virtualcouch/ This episode of The Virtual Couch is sponsored by http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch With the continuing “sheltering” rules that are spreading across the country PLEASE do not think that you can’t continue or begin therapy now. http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch can put you quickly in touch with licensed mental health professionals who can meet through text, email, or videoconference often as soon as 24-48 hours. And if you use the link http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch you will receive 10% off your first month of services. Please make your own mental health a priority, http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch offers affordable counseling, and they even have sliding scale options if your budget is tight.
Do you often find yourself feeling emotionally invested in other people, movies, and TV shows? Do you feel like you take on the emotional state of those around you? Have you been told repeatedly to “just get over it” or “don’t be so sensitive,” or “don’t worry about it?” If so you may have heightened “sensory processing sensitivity” aka you’re a “Highly Sensitive Person.” Some estimates say that up to 20% of the population would fall under the spectrum of HSP. HSP’s are believed to experience the world differently than others, and they are often more aware of subtitles, and often process information more deeply.
Today we’ll take a look at the research of Elaine Aron from her website Highly Sensitive Person http://hsperson.com and we’ll dive deep into Linda Moon’s article from WellBeing Magazine “Highly Sensitive People - Hailing from the hypersensitive crowd.” https://apple.news/AuVshlAvgQnCQniOI2R7Ovw
Please subscribe to The Virtual Couch YouTube channel at https://www.youtube.com/c/TheVirtualCouchPodcast/ and follow The Virtual Couch on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/virtualcouch/ This episode of The Virtual Couch is sponsored by http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch With the continuing “sheltering” rules that are spreading across the country PLEASE do not think that you can’t continue or begin therapy now. http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch can put you quickly in touch with licensed mental health professionals who can meet through text, email, or videoconference often as soon as 24-48 hours. And if you use the link http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch you will receive 10% off your first month of services. Please make your own mental health a priority, http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch offers affordable counseling, and they even have sliding scale options if your budget is tight. Tony's FREE parenting course, “Tips For Parenting Positively Even In the Not So Positive Times” is available NOW. Just go to https://www.tonyoverbay.com/courses-2/ and sign up today. This course will help you understand why it can be so difficult to communicate with and understand your children. You’ll learn how to keep your buttons hidden, how to genuinely give praise that will truly build inner wealth in your child, teen, or even in your adult children, and you’ll learn how to move from being “the punisher” to being someone your children will want to go to when they need help.Tony's new best-selling book "He's a Porn Addict...Now What? An Expert and a Former Addict Answer Your Questions" is now available on Kindle. https://amzn.to/38mauBoTony Overbay, is the co-author of "He's a Porn Addict...Now What? An Expert and a Former Addict Answer Your Questions" now available on Amazon https://amzn.to/33fk0U4. The book debuted in the number 1 spot in the Sexual Health Recovery category and remains there as the time of this record. The book has received numerous positive reviews from professionals in the mental health and recovery fields.You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program The Path Back by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to receive updates on upcoming programs, and podcasts.Tony mentioned a product that he used to take out all of the "uh's" and "um's" that, in his words, "must be created by wizards and magic!" because it's that good! To learn more about Descript click here https://descript.com?lmref=v95myQ
Nate Christensen, APCC (working under the clinical supervision of Tony Overbay, LMFT) shares his personal journey in living with depression and shares his "Ten Commandments of Managing Depression." Depression is a diagnosable mental illness and treatment is available! Depression is estimated to affect up to 20% of the adult population at some point in their lives and symptoms can come on as early as grade school. If you believe that you, or someone that you know, is struggling with symptoms of depression, please seek help from a mental health professional. There are many treatment options available! Please visit the @virtualcouch on Instagram for a list of Nate's 10 Commandments of Managing Depression. And if you are interested in working directly with Nate, please reach out to him through the contact form at http://tonyoverbay.com
Please subscribe to The Virtual Couch YouTube channel at https://www.youtube.com/c/TheVirtualCouchPodcast/ and follow The Virtual Couch on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/virtualcouch/ This episode of The Virtual Couch is sponsored by http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch With the continuing “sheltering” rules that are spreading across the country PLEASE do not think that you can’t continue or begin therapy now. http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch can put you quickly in touch with licensed mental health professionals who can meet through text, email, or videoconference often as soon as 24-48 hours. And if you use the link http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch you will receive 10% off your first month of services. Please make your own mental health a priority, http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch offers affordable counseling, and they even have sliding scale options if your budget is tight. Tony's FREE parenting course, “Tips For Parenting Positively Even In the Not So Positive Times” is available NOW. Just go to https://www.tonyoverbay.com/courses-2/ and sign up today. This course will help you understand why it can be so difficult to communicate with and understand your children. You’ll learn how to keep your buttons hidden, how to genuinely give praise that will truly build inner wealth in your child, teen, or even in your adult children, and you’ll learn how to move from being “the punisher” to being someone your children will want to go to when they need help.Tony's new best-selling book "He's a Porn Addict...Now What? An Expert and a Former Addict Answer Your Questions" is now available on Kindle. https://amzn.to/38mauBoTony Overbay, is the co-author of "He's a Porn Addict...Now What? An Expert and a Former Addict Answer Your Questions" now available on Amazon https://amzn.to/33fk0U4. The book debuted in the number 1 spot in the Sexual Health Recovery category and remains there as the time of this record. The book has received numerous positive reviews from professionals in the mental health and recovery fields.You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program The Path Back by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to receive updates on upcoming programs, and podcasts.Tony mentioned a product that he used to take out all of the "uh's" and "um's" that, in his words, "must be created by wizards and magic!" because it's that good! To learn more about Descript click here https://descript.com?lmref=v95myQ
You've been patient, you've praised, but at what point can you finally let someone know how you really feel? Tony talks about Gottman's "The Magic Relationship Ratio According to Science" of positive to negative interactions during conflict https://www.gottman.com/blog/the-magic-relationship-ratio-according-science/ as well as Gottman's 4 Horseman principal (Criticism, Content, Defensiveness and Stonewalling) https://www.gottman.com/blog/the-four-horsemen-recognizing-criticism-contempt-defensiveness-and-stonewalling/
Please subscribe to The Virtual Couch YouTube channel at https://www.youtube.com/c/TheVirtualCouchPodcast/ and follow The Virtual Couch on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/virtualcouch/ This episode of The Virtual Couch is sponsored by http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch With the continuing “sheltering” rules that are spreading across the country PLEASE do not think that you can’t continue or begin therapy now. http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch can put you quickly in touch with licensed mental health professionals who can meet through text, email, or videoconference often as soon as 24-48 hours. And if you use the link http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch you will receive 10% off your first month of services. Please make your own mental health a priority, http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch offers affordable counseling, and they even have sliding scale options if your budget is tight. Tony's FREE parenting course, “Tips For Parenting Positively Even In the Not So Positive Times” is available NOW. Just go to https://www.tonyoverbay.com/courses-2/ and sign up today. This course will help you understand why it can be so difficult to communicate with and understand your children. You’ll learn how to keep your buttons hidden, how to genuinely give praise that will truly build inner wealth in your child, teen, or even in your adult children, and you’ll learn how to move from being “the punisher” to being someone your children will want to go to when they need help.Tony's new best-selling book "He's a Porn Addict...Now What? An Expert and a Former Addict Answer Your Questions" is now available on Kindle. https://amzn.to/38mauBoTony Overbay, is the co-author of "He's a Porn Addict...Now What? An Expert and a Former Addict Answer Your Questions" now available on Amazon https://amzn.to/33fk0U4. The book debuted in the number 1 spot in the Sexual Health Recovery category and remains there as the time of this record. The book has received numerous positive reviews from professionals in the mental health and recovery fields.You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program The Path Back by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to receive updates on upcoming programs, and podcasts.Tony mentioned a product that he used to take out all of the "uh's" and "um's" that, in his words, "must be created by wizards and magic!" because it's that good! To learn more about Descript click here https://descript.com?lmref=v95myQ
Occam's razor is the theory that given a choice between two hypotheses, the one involving fewer assumptions should be preferred. So why do we unconsciously and often unnecessarily complicate things that we desperately want to get right, like parenting? Tony takes a look at how understanding Occam's razor in the context of parenting gives us the permission to do what so many of us are trying to do in a variety of ways...love our kids! Tony refers to Tania Lombrozo, Ph.D.'s article "Choosing the Best Explanation Is Elementary, My Dear Watson" from Psychology Today. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/explananda/201201/choosing-the-best-explanation-is-elementary-my-dear-watson
Please subscribe to The Virtual Couch YouTube channel at https://www.youtube.com/c/TheVirtualCouchPodcast/ and follow The Virtual Couch on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/virtualcouch/ This episode of The Virtual Couch is sponsored by http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch With the continuing “sheltering” rules that are spreading across the country PLEASE do not think that you can’t continue or begin therapy now. http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch can put you quickly in touch with licensed mental health professionals who can meet through text, email, or videoconference often as soon as 24-48 hours. And if you use the link http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch you will receive 10% off your first month of services. Please make your own mental health a priority, http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch offers affordable counseling, and they even have sliding scale options if your budget is tight. Tony's FREE parenting course, “Tips For Parenting Positively Even In the Not So Positive Times” is available NOW. Just go to https://www.tonyoverbay.com/courses-2/ and sign up today. This course will help you understand why it can be so difficult to communicate with and understand your children. You’ll learn how to keep your buttons hidden, how to genuinely give praise that will truly build inner wealth in your child, teen, or even in your adult children, and you’ll learn how to move from being “the punisher” to being someone your children will want to go to when they need help.Tony's new best-selling book "He's a Porn Addict...Now What? An Expert and a Former Addict Answer Your Questions" is now available on Kindle. https://amzn.to/38mauBoTony Overbay, is the co-author of "He's a Porn Addict...Now What? An Expert and a Former Addict Answer Your Questions" now available on Amazon https://amzn.to/33fk0U4. The book debuted in the number 1 spot in the Sexual Health Recovery category and remains there as the time of this record. The book has received numerous positive reviews from professionals in the mental health and recovery fields.You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program The Path Back by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to receive updates on upcoming programs, and podcasts.Tony mentioned a product that he used to take out all of the "uh's" and "um's" that, in his words, "must be created by wizards and magic!" because it's that good! To learn more about Descript click here https://descript.com?lmref=v95myQ
Tony shares his takeaways from Mark Travers, Ph.D. article from Psychologytoday.com “3 Happiness Tips From This Year’s World Happiness Report.” https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/social-instincts/202104/3-happiness-tips-years-world-happiness-report?collection=1160830
Please subscribe to The Virtual Couch YouTube channel at https://www.youtube.com/c/TheVirtualCouchPodcast/ and follow The Virtual Couch on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/virtualcouch/ This episode of The Virtual Couch is sponsored by http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch With the continuing “sheltering” rules that are spreading across the country PLEASE do not think that you can’t continue or begin therapy now. http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch can put you quickly in touch with licensed mental health professionals who can meet through text, email, or videoconference often as soon as 24-48 hours. And if you use the link http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch you will receive 10% off your first month of services. Please make your own mental health a priority, http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch offers affordable counseling, and they even have sliding scale options if your budget is tight. Tony's FREE parenting course, “Tips For Parenting Positively Even In the Not So Positive Times” is available NOW. Just go to https://www.tonyoverbay.com/courses-2/ and sign up today. This course will help you understand why it can be so difficult to communicate with and understand your children. You’ll learn how to keep your buttons hidden, how to genuinely give praise that will truly build inner wealth in your child, teen, or even in your adult children, and you’ll learn how to move from being “the punisher” to being someone your children will want to go to when they need help.Tony's new best-selling book "He's a Porn Addict...Now What? An Expert and a Former Addict Answer Your Questions" is now available on Kindle. https://amzn.to/38mauBoTony Overbay, is the co-author of "He's a Porn Addict...Now What? An Expert and a Former Addict Answer Your Questions" now available on Amazon https://amzn.to/33fk0U4. The book debuted in the number 1 spot in the Sexual Health Recovery category and remains there as the time of this record. The book has received numerous positive reviews from professionals in the mental health and recovery fields.You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program The Path Back by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to receive updates on upcoming programs, and podcasts.Tony mentioned a product that he used to take out all of the "uh's" and "um's" that, in his words, "must be created by wizards and magic!" because it's that good! To learn more about Descript click here https://descript.com?lmref=v95myQ
Everything you ever wanted to know about kindness can be learned from...rabbits. On today’s episode Tony talks about kindness, and how Dr. Robert Nerem stumbled upon a most unusual example of how both our emotional and physical health can be improved by kindness.
It’s not too late! Signups for the next round of the Magnetic Marriage course are underway. Head to tonyoverbay.com/magnetic and sign up today!
Please subscribe to The Virtual Couch YouTube channel at https://www.youtube.com/c/TheVirtualCouchPodcast/ and follow The Virtual Couch on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/virtualcouch/ This episode of The Virtual Couch is sponsored by http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch With the continuing “sheltering” rules that are spreading across the country PLEASE do not think that you can’t continue or begin therapy now. http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch can put you quickly in touch with licensed mental health professionals who can meet through text, email, or videoconference often as soon as 24-48 hours. And if you use the link http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch you will receive 10% off your first month of services. Please make your own mental health a priority, http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch offers affordable counseling, and they even have sliding scale options if your budget is tight. Tony's FREE parenting course, “Tips For Parenting Positively Even In the Not So Positive Times” is available NOW. Just go to https://www.tonyoverbay.com/courses-2/ and sign up today. This course will help you understand why it can be so difficult to communicate with and understand your children. You’ll learn how to keep your buttons hidden, how to genuinely give praise that will truly build inner wealth in your child, teen, or even in your adult children, and you’ll learn how to move from being “the punisher” to being someone your children will want to go to when they need help.Tony's new best-selling book "He's a Porn Addict...Now What? An Expert and a Former Addict Answer Your Questions" is now available on Kindle. https://amzn.to/38mauBoTony Overbay, is the co-author of "He's a Porn Addict...Now What? An Expert and a Former Addict Answer Your Questions" now available on Amazon https://amzn.to/33fk0U4. The book debuted in the number 1 spot in the Sexual Health Recovery category and remains there as the time of this record. The book has received numerous positive reviews from professionals in the mental health and recovery fields.You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program The Path Back by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to receive updates on upcoming programs, and podcasts.Tony mentioned a product that he used to take out all of the "uh's" and "um's" that, in his words, "must be created by wizards and magic!" because it's that good! To learn more about Descript click here https://descript.com?lmref=v95myQ
In this special BONUS episode of Tony's top-10 most downloaded episodes of all time on the Virtual Couch, Sexuality and Relationship Counselor Dr. Jennifer Finlayson-Fife makes discusses what to do if you no longer find your partner physically attractive, as well as how to communicate in a relationship where one partner has a high desire for intimacy and one has a low desire? Also, find out what men do that Dr. Finlayson-Fife says will result in them being "toast!" You can find out more about Dr. Finlayson-Fife's work, as well as her online programs for individuals and couples around their sexuality at finlayson-fife.com. And please sign up now at http://tonyoverbay.com/magnetic for Tony and Preston Pugmire's FREE webinar on how to create a more Magnetic Marriage on Monday, April 26th, 2021 at 5 PM PST. Space is limited so go reserve your spot today!
Please subscribe to The Virtual Couch YouTube channel at https://www.youtube.com/c/TheVirtualCouchPodcast/ and follow The Virtual Couch on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/virtualcouch/ This episode of The Virtual Couch is sponsored by http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch With the continuing “sheltering” rules that are spreading across the country PLEASE do not think that you can’t continue or begin therapy now. http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch can put you quickly in touch with licensed mental health professionals who can meet through text, email, or videoconference often as soon as 24-48 hours. And if you use the link http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch you will receive 10% off your first month of services. Please make your own mental health a priority, http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch offers affordable counseling, and they even have sliding scale options if your budget is tight. Tony's FREE parenting course, “Tips For Parenting Positively Even In the Not So Positive Times” is available NOW. Just go to https://www.tonyoverbay.com/courses-2/ and sign up today. This course will help you understand why it can be so difficult to communicate with and understand your children. You’ll learn how to keep your buttons hidden, how to genuinely give praise that will truly build inner wealth in your child, teen, or even in your adult children, and you’ll learn how to move from being “the punisher” to being someone your children will want to go to when they need help.Tony's new best-selling book "He's a Porn Addict...Now What? An Expert and a Former Addict Answer Your Questions" is now available on Kindle. https://amzn.to/38mauBoTony Overbay, is the co-author of "He's a Porn Addict...Now What? An Expert and a Former Addict Answer Your Questions" now available on Amazon https://amzn.to/33fk0U4. The book debuted in the number 1 spot in the Sexual Health Recovery category and remains there as the time of this record. The book has received numerous positive reviews from professionals in the mental health and recovery fields.You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program The Path Back by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to receive updates on upcoming programs, and podcasts.Tony mentioned a product that he used to take out all of the "uh's" and "um's" that, in his words, "must be created by wizards and magic!" because it's that good! To learn more about Descript click here https://descript.com?lmref=v95myQ
In part 3 of their 3 part series, Tony and Magnetic Marriage co-creator Preston Pugmire, give the final “ingredients” to creating a truly Magnetic Marriage...Presence and Radiance, Yin and Yang, or how to step into your core, confident self and show up, be there for your partner, and, in turn, for yourself. In part 1 of 3, they talked about the 4 Pillars of a Connected Conversation. The 4 Pillars, along with truly understanding the importance of personal accountability in a relationship set the stage for success. In part 2 of 3, they discussed the “Connected Conversation Script” or CCS which then gives a literal script, or blueprint of how to put the 4 Pillars into action. Today’s episode puts the finishing touches on how to stay present when having conversations, how to stay present, how to embrace positive “tension” when we’re too often afraid of negative “contention.”
We’re only a couple of weeks away from the launch of the next round of the Magnetic Marriage course. You can sign up now to get in the queue for round 2 by heading to http://tonyoverbay.com/magentic. The course is scheduled to open for sign-ups in late April.
Please subscribe to The Virtual Couch YouTube channel at https://www.youtube.com/c/TheVirtualCouchPodcast/ and follow The Virtual Couch on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/virtualcouch/ This episode of The Virtual Couch is sponsored by http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch With the continuing “sheltering” rules that are spreading across the country PLEASE do not think that you can’t continue or begin therapy now. http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch can put you quickly in touch with licensed mental health professionals who can meet through text, email, or videoconference often as soon as 24-48 hours. And if you use the link http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch you will receive 10% off your first month of services. Please make your own mental health a priority, http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch offers affordable counseling, and they even have sliding scale options if your budget is tight. Tony's FREE parenting course, “Tips For Parenting Positively Even In the Not So Positive Times” is available NOW. Just go to https://www.tonyoverbay.com/courses-2/ and sign up today. This course will help you understand why it can be so difficult to communicate with and understand your children. You’ll learn how to keep your buttons hidden, how to genuinely give praise that will truly build inner wealth in your child, teen, or even in your adult children, and you’ll learn how to move from being “the punisher” to being someone your children will want to go to when they need help.Tony's new best-selling book "He's a Porn Addict...Now What? An Expert and a Former Addict Answer Your Questions" is now available on Kindle. https://amzn.to/38mauBoTony Overbay, is the co-author of "He's a Porn Addict...Now What? An Expert and a Former Addict Answer Your Questions" now available on Amazon https://amzn.to/33fk0U4. The book debuted in the number 1 spot in the Sexual Health Recovery category and remains there as the time of this record. The book has received numerous positive reviews from professionals in the mental health and recovery fields.You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program The Path Back by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to receive updates on upcoming programs, and podcasts.Tony mentioned a product that he used to take out all of the "uh's" and "um's" that, in his words, "must be created by wizards and magic!" because it's that good! To learn more about Descript click here https://descript.com?lmref=v95myQ
Empathy has become a big buzzword over the past few years, and, chances are you’ve wondered if your spouse, your kids, or your boss lacks empathy altogether? Or are you the one you’re worried about? In this special bonus episode, Tony combines a 2-part episode on empathy from 2018 into one and covers 10 evidence-based methods for teaching, modeling, and nurturing empathy.
The Magnetic Marriage Course is a hit! You can sign up now to get in the queue for round 2 by heading to http://tonyoverbay.com/magentic. The course is scheduled to open for sign-ups in the third week of April.
Please subscribe to The Virtual Couch YouTube channel at https://www.youtube.com/c/TheVirtualCouchPodcast/ and follow The Virtual Couch on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/virtualcouch/ This episode of The Virtual Couch is sponsored by http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch With the continuing “sheltering” rules that are spreading across the country PLEASE do not think that you can’t continue or begin therapy now. http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch can put you quickly in touch with licensed mental health professionals who can meet through text, email, or videoconference often as soon as 24-48 hours. And if you use the link http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch you will receive 10% off your first month of services. Please make your own mental health a priority, http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch offers affordable counseling, and they even have sliding scale options if your budget is tight. Tony's FREE parenting course, “Tips For Parenting Positively Even In the Not So Positive Times” is available NOW. Just go to https://www.tonyoverbay.com/courses-2/ and sign up today. This course will help you understand why it can be so difficult to communicate with and understand your children. You’ll learn how to keep your buttons hidden, how to genuinely give praise that will truly build inner wealth in your child, teen, or even in your adult children, and you’ll learn how to move from being “the punisher” to being someone your children will want to go to when they need help.Tony's new best-selling book "He's a Porn Addict...Now What? An Expert and a Former Addict Answer Your Questions" is now available on Kindle. https://amzn.to/38mauBoTony Overbay, is the co-author of "He's a Porn Addict...Now What? An Expert and a Former Addict Answer Your Questions" now available on Amazon https://amzn.to/33fk0U4. The book debuted in the number 1 spot in the Sexual Health Recovery category and remains there as the time of this record. The book has received numerous positive reviews from professionals in the mental health and recovery fields.You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program The Path Back by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to receive updates on upcoming programs, and podcasts.Tony mentioned a product that he used to take out all of the "uh's" and "um's" that, in his words, "must be created by wizards and magic!" because it's that good! To learn more about Descript click here https://descript.com?lmref=v95myQ
Did you know that there is an actual conversation script that can help you become connected to your spouse? Yeah, Tony didn’t know that there was one either...until he and Magnetic Marriage co-creator Preston Pugmire (http://prestonpugmire.com) a fellow podcaster (Next Level Life podcast) and successful life coach created one. The CCS, or “Connected Conversation Script” is one of the key components to Tony and Preston’s marriage-changing course. In today’s episode, Tony and Preston dive deep into the CCS and talk about what there was a need for a script and how well it was received during the first round of their course. You’ll hear about how important empathy statements are in helping you understand your spouse...and what “landmine” statements to avoid. We’re only a couple of weeks away from the launch of the next round of the Magnetic Marriage course. You can sign up now to get in the queue for round 2 by heading to http://tonyoverbay.com/magentic. The course is scheduled to open for sign-ups in late April. In today’s episode, they cover the 4 Pillars of a Connected Conversation as well as how accountability plays a major role in a more connected relationship.
The Magnetic Marriage Course is a hit! You can sign up now to get in the queue for round 2 by heading to http://tonyoverbay.com/magentic. The course is scheduled to open for sign-ups in the third week of April.
Please subscribe to The Virtual Couch YouTube channel at https://www.youtube.com/c/TheVirtualCouchPodcast/ and follow The Virtual Couch on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/virtualcouch/ This episode of The Virtual Couch is sponsored by http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch With the continuing “sheltering” rules that are spreading across the country PLEASE do not think that you can’t continue or begin therapy now. http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch can put you quickly in touch with licensed mental health professionals who can meet through text, email, or videoconference often as soon as 24-48 hours. And if you use the link http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch you will receive 10% off your first month of services. Please make your own mental health a priority, http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch offers affordable counseling, and they even have sliding scale options if your budget is tight. Tony's FREE parenting course, “Tips For Parenting Positively Even In the Not So Positive Times” is available NOW. Just go to https://www.tonyoverbay.com/courses-2/ and sign up today. This course will help you understand why it can be so difficult to communicate with and understand your children. You’ll learn how to keep your buttons hidden, how to genuinely give praise that will truly build inner wealth in your child, teen, or even in your adult children, and you’ll learn how to move from being “the punisher” to being someone your children will want to go to when they need help.Tony's new best-selling book "He's a Porn Addict...Now What? An Expert and a Former Addict Answer Your Questions" is now available on Kindle. https://amzn.to/38mauBoTony Overbay, is the co-author of "He's a Porn Addict...Now What? An Expert and a Former Addict Answer Your Questions" now available on Amazon https://amzn.to/33fk0U4. The book debuted in the number 1 spot in the Sexual Health Recovery category and remains there as the time of this record. The book has received numerous positive reviews from professionals in the mental health and recovery fields.You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program The Path Back by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to receive updates on upcoming programs, and podcasts.Tony mentioned a product that he used to take out all of the "uh's" and "um's" that, in his words, "must be created by wizards and magic!" because it's that good! To learn more about Descript click here https://descript.com?lmref=v95myQ
Tony begins a series of bonus episodes by airing some of the most downloaded/listened to episodes over the past 4 years of hosting The Virtual Couch podcast. In today's episode, Jody Moore (http://jodymoore.com), Life Coach and host of the Better Than Happy podcast, takes you through her origin story.
The Magnetic Marriage Course is a hit! You can sign up now to get in the queue for round 2 by heading to http://tonyoverbay.com/magentic. The course is scheduled to open for sign-ups in the third week of April.
Please subscribe to The Virtual Couch YouTube channel at https://www.youtube.com/c/TheVirtualCouchPodcast/ and follow The Virtual Couch on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/virtualcouch/ This episode of The Virtual Couch is sponsored by http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch With the continuing “sheltering” rules that are spreading across the country PLEASE do not think that you can’t continue or begin therapy now. http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch can put you quickly in touch with licensed mental health professionals who can meet through text, email, or videoconference often as soon as 24-48 hours. And if you use the link http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch you will receive 10% off your first month of services. Please make your own mental health a priority, http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch offers affordable counseling, and they even have sliding scale options if your budget is tight. Tony's FREE parenting course, “Tips For Parenting Positively Even In the Not So Positive Times” is available NOW. Just go to https://www.tonyoverbay.com/courses-2/ and sign up today. This course will help you understand why it can be so difficult to communicate with and understand your children. You’ll learn how to keep your buttons hidden, how to genuinely give praise that will truly build inner wealth in your child, teen, or even in your adult children, and you’ll learn how to move from being “the punisher” to being someone your children will want to go to when they need help.Tony's new best-selling book "He's a Porn Addict...Now What? An Expert and a Former Addict Answer Your Questions" is now available on Kindle. https://amzn.to/38mauBoTony Overbay, is the co-author of "He's a Porn Addict...Now What? An Expert and a Former Addict Answer Your Questions" now available on Amazon https://amzn.to/33fk0U4. The book debuted in the number 1 spot in the Sexual Health Recovery category and remains there as the time of this record. The book has received numerous positive reviews from professionals in the mental health and recovery fields.You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program The Path Back by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to receive updates on upcoming programs, and podcasts.Tony mentioned a product that he used to take out all of the "uh's" and "um's" that, in his words, "must be created by wizards and magic!" because it's that good! To learn more about Descript click here https://descript.com?lmref=v95myQ
Are you ready to take your marriage from mediocre to magnetic? Even if you don’t feel like your marriage is suffering, Tony believes that there is always room for improvement and there is no time like the present. Tony and his friend, podcast host (Next Level Life), life coach, and Magnetic Marriage course co-creator Preston Pugmire, talk about what they’ve learned after completing the first round of their highly-anticipated Magnetic Marriage course (which initially sold out in less than 24 hours) as they prepare for the launch of round two. You can sign up now to get in the queue for round 2 by heading to http://tonyoverbay.com/magentic. The course is scheduled to open for sign-ups in the third week of April. In today’s episode, they cover the 4 Pillars of a Connected Conversation as well as how accountability plays a major role in a more connected relationship.
Please subscribe to The Virtual Couch YouTube channel at https://www.youtube.com/c/TheVirtualCouchPodcast/ and follow The Virtual Couch on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/virtualcouch/ This episode of The Virtual Couch is sponsored by http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch With the continuing “sheltering” rules that are spreading across the country PLEASE do not think that you can’t continue or begin therapy now. http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch can put you quickly in touch with licensed mental health professionals who can meet through text, email, or videoconference often as soon as 24-48 hours. And if you use the link http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch you will receive 10% off your first month of services. Please make your own mental health a priority, http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch offers affordable counseling, and they even have sliding scale options if your budget is tight. Tony's FREE parenting course, “Tips For Parenting Positively Even In the Not So Positive Times” is available NOW. Just go to https://www.tonyoverbay.com/courses-2/ and sign up today. This course will help you understand why it can be so difficult to communicate with and understand your children. You’ll learn how to keep your buttons hidden, how to genuinely give praise that will truly build inner wealth in your child, teen, or even in your adult children, and you’ll learn how to move from being “the punisher” to being someone your children will want to go to when they need help.Tony's new best-selling book "He's a Porn Addict...Now What? An Expert and a Former Addict Answer Your Questions" is now available on Kindle. https://amzn.to/38mauBoTony Overbay, is the co-author of "He's a Porn Addict...Now What? An Expert and a Former Addict Answer Your Questions" now available on Amazon https://amzn.to/33fk0U4. The book debuted in the number 1 spot in the Sexual Health Recovery category and remains there as the time of this record. The book has received numerous positive reviews from professionals in the mental health and recovery fields.You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program The Path Back by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to receive updates on upcoming programs, and podcasts.Tony mentioned a product that he used to take out all of the "uh's" and "um's" that, in his words, "must be created by wizards and magic!" because it's that good! To learn more about Descript click here https://descript.com?lmref=v95myQ
Tony shares the foundational principles of Dr. Sue Johnson's Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy (EFT/EFCT) from her book "Hold Me Tight." Tony referenced a review from Dan's blog "A Laughing Soul" (https://alaughingsoul.wordpress.com/2012/04/24/hold-me-tight-seven-conversations-for-a-lifetime-of-love/). Tony shares how his "4 Pillars of a Connected Conversation" a key component to his Magnetic Marriage course (http://tonyoverbay.com/magnetic) can significantly help implement the tools of EFT in your marital and personal relationships. The next round of the Magnetic Marriage Course is launching soon! Go sign up now to find out details about the launch.
From A Laughing Soul blog: What Is Emotionally Focused Couple Therapy (EFT)? The message of EFT is simple: Forget about learning how to argue better, analyzing your early childhood, making grand romantic gestures, or experimenting with new sexual positions. Instead, recognize and admit that you are emotionally attached to and dependent on your partner in much the same way that a child is on a parent for nurturing, soothing, and protection.
EFT focuses on creating and strengthening this emotional bond by identifying and transforming the key moments that foster a loving, adult relationship. • EFT has an astounding 70 – 75% success rate and results have been shown to last, even in the face of significant stress. • EFT is recognized by the American Psychological Association as empirically proven. HOLD ME TIGHT presents a streamlined version of EFT. It walks the reader through seven conversations that capture the defining moments in a love relationship and instructs how to shape these moments to create a secure and lasting bond. Case histories and exercises in each conversation bring the lessons of EFT to life.
Please subscribe to The Virtual Couch YouTube channel at https://www.youtube.com/c/TheVirtualCouchPodcast/ and follow The Virtual Couch on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/virtualcouch/ This episode of The Virtual Couch is sponsored by http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch With the continuing “sheltering” rules that are spreading across the country PLEASE do not think that you can’t continue or begin therapy now. http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch can put you quickly in touch with licensed mental health professionals who can meet through text, email, or videoconference often as soon as 24-48 hours. And if you use the link http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch you will receive 10% off your first month of services. Please make your own mental health a priority, http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch offers affordable counseling, and they even have sliding scale options if your budget is tight. Tony's FREE parenting course, “Tips For Parenting Positively Even In the Not So Positive Times” is available NOW. Just go to https://www.tonyoverbay.com/courses-2/ and sign up today. This course will help you understand why it can be so difficult to communicate with and understand your children. You’ll learn how to keep your buttons hidden, how to genuinely give praise that will truly build inner wealth in your child, teen, or even in your adult children, and you’ll learn how to move from being “the punisher” to being someone your children will want to go to when they need help.Tony's new best-selling book "He's a Porn Addict...Now What? An Expert and a Former Addict Answer Your Questions" is now available on Kindle. https://amzn.to/38mauBoTony Overbay, is the co-author of "He's a Porn Addict...Now What? An Expert and a Former Addict Answer Your Questions" now available on Amazon https://amzn.to/33fk0U4. The book debuted in the number 1 spot in the Sexual Health Recovery category and remains there as the time of this record. The book has received numerous positive reviews from professionals in the mental health and recovery fields.You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program The Path Back by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to receive updates on upcoming programs, and podcasts.Tony mentioned a product that he used to take out all of the "uh's" and "um's" that, in his words, "must be created by wizards and magic!" because it's that good! To learn more about Descript click here https://descript.com?lmref=v95myQ
We all get angry, but what do you do with that anger? Is it healthy to express your anger? If so, in what way? Should you punch a pillow, or a punching bag? Or should you just hold it in, grit your teeth and smile through it? Tony breaks down the article “7 Myths About Anger (And Why They’re Wrong)” by Amy Morin https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/what-mentally-strong-people-dont-do/201512/7-myths-about-anger-and-why-theyre-wrong and tells you exactly what you can do with your anger.
Head to http://tonyoverbay.com/magnetic and get on the waitlist today to be the first to know when the next Magnetic Marriage Cohort begins!
Please subscribe to The Virtual Couch YouTube channel at https://www.youtube.com/c/TheVirtualCouchPodcast/ and follow The Virtual Couch on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/virtualcouch/ This episode of The Virtual Couch is sponsored by http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch With the continuing “sheltering” rules that are spreading across the country PLEASE do not think that you can’t continue or begin therapy now. http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch can put you quickly in touch with licensed mental health professionals who can meet through text, email, or videoconference often as soon as 24-48 hours. And if you use the link http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch you will receive 10% off your first month of services. Please make your own mental health a priority, http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch offers affordable counseling, and they even have sliding scale options if your budget is tight. Tony's FREE parenting course, “Tips For Parenting Positively Even In the Not So Positive Times” is available NOW. Just go to https://www.tonyoverbay.com/courses-2/ and sign up today. This course will help you understand why it can be so difficult to communicate with and understand your children. You’ll learn how to keep your buttons hidden, how to genuinely give praise that will truly build inner wealth in your child, teen, or even in your adult children, and you’ll learn how to move from being “the punisher” to being someone your children will want to go to when they need help.Tony's new best-selling book "He's a Porn Addict...Now What? An Expert and a Former Addict Answer Your Questions" is now available on Kindle. https://amzn.to/38mauBoTony Overbay, is the co-author of "He's a Porn Addict...Now What? An Expert and a Former Addict Answer Your Questions" now available on Amazon https://amzn.to/33fk0U4. The book debuted in the number 1 spot in the Sexual Health Recovery category and remains there as the time of this record. The book has received numerous positive reviews from professionals in the mental health and recovery fields.You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program The Path Back by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to receive updates on upcoming programs, and podcasts.Tony mentioned a product that he used to take out all of the "uh's" and "um's" that, in his words, "must be created by wizards and magic!" because it's that good! To learn more about Descript click here https://descript.com?lmref=v95myQ
What impedes progress more...physical clutter or emotional clutter? Or is the answer “C, all of the above?” Tony interviews Anna, a professional home organizer and the owner of NEAT Method in Boise, ID. They talk about how organization can be one of the best remedies for your mental health, as well as a smart personal investment to raise your emotional baseline. You can learn more about NEAT Method at http://neathmethod.com and follow Anna on Instagram @boiseneat https://www.instagram.com/boiseneat/
Head to http://tonyoverbay.com/magnetic and get on the waitlist today to be the first to know when the next Magnetic Marriage Cohort begins!
Please subscribe to The Virtual Couch YouTube channel at https://www.youtube.com/c/TheVirtualCouchPodcast/ and follow The Virtual Couch on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/virtualcouch/ This episode of The Virtual Couch is sponsored by http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch With the continuing “sheltering” rules that are spreading across the country PLEASE do not think that you can’t continue or begin therapy now. http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch can put you quickly in touch with licensed mental health professionals who can meet through text, email, or videoconference often as soon as 24-48 hours. And if you use the link http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch you will receive 10% off your first month of services. Please make your own mental health a priority, http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch offers affordable counseling, and they even have sliding scale options if your budget is tight. Tony's FREE parenting course, “Tips For Parenting Positively Even In the Not So Positive Times” is available NOW. Just go to https://www.tonyoverbay.com/courses-2/ and sign up today. This course will help you understand why it can be so difficult to communicate with and understand your children. You’ll learn how to keep your buttons hidden, how to genuinely give praise that will truly build inner wealth in your child, teen, or even in your adult children, and you’ll learn how to move from being “the punisher” to being someone your children will want to go to when they need help.Tony's new best-selling book "He's a Porn Addict...Now What? An Expert and a Former Addict Answer Your Questions" is now available on Kindle. https://amzn.to/38mauBoTony Overbay, is the co-author of "He's a Porn Addict...Now What? An Expert and a Former Addict Answer Your Questions" now available on Amazon https://amzn.to/33fk0U4. The book debuted in the number 1 spot in the Sexual Health Recovery category and remains there as the time of this record. The book has received numerous positive reviews from professionals in the mental health and recovery fields.You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program The Path Back by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to receive updates on upcoming programs, and podcasts.Tony mentioned a product that he used to take out all of the "uh's" and "um's" that, in his words, "must be created by wizards and magic!" because it's that good! To learn more about Descript click here https://descript.com?lmref=v95myQ
Do you ever find yourself caught up in emotions so fast that you feel like you can’t think logically? Well, the good news is, you’re human! For most of us, we formed much of our internal compass from our family, including both positive and negative traits. One of the keys to living a happier, more purpose-driven life is the ability to separate our feelings from our thoughts and then move toward things that truly matter to YOU! This process is called “differentiation.” Undifferentiated people struggle to separate feelings and thoughts. Still, they often have trouble separating their thoughts and feelings from others as well, and they look to others to define how they think about situations that they find themselves in. So one of the most important things we can do as adults is self-differentiate, or learn, “to have different opinions and values than your family members but be able to stay emotionally connected to them. It means being able to calmly reflect on a conflicted interaction afterward, realizing your own role in it, and then choosing a different response for the future.”
Tony references Karen Koenig’s article “What is self-differentiation and why is it so important?” https://www.karenrkoenig.com/blog/what-is-self-differentiation-and-why-is-it-so-important and he also found information on Dr. Murray Bowen from The Family Systems website https://www.thefsi.com.au/
And Tony mentions two podcasts interviews where he was the guest, first was on Parenting in the Middle, by Kristen Goodman https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/parenting-in-the-middle/id1551041369?i=1000510695615 and The Jones Table hosted by Chelsea Jones https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-jones-table/id1524546561?i=1000510124657
Please subscribe to The Virtual Couch YouTube channel at https://www.youtube.com/c/TheVirtualCouchPodcast/ and follow The Virtual Couch on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/virtualcouch/ This episode of The Virtual Couch is sponsored by http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch With the continuing “sheltering” rules that are spreading across the country PLEASE do not think that you can’t continue or begin therapy now. http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch can put you quickly in touch with licensed mental health professionals who can meet through text, email, or videoconference often as soon as 24-48 hours. And if you use the link http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch you will receive 10% off your first month of services. Please make your own mental health a priority, http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch offers affordable counseling, and they even have sliding scale options if your budget is tight. Tony's FREE parenting course, “Tips For Parenting Positively Even In the Not So Positive Times” is available NOW. Just go to https://www.tonyoverbay.com/courses-2/ and sign up today. This course will help you understand why it can be so difficult to communicate with and understand your children. You’ll learn how to keep your buttons hidden, how to genuinely give praise that will truly build inner wealth in your child, teen, or even in your adult children, and you’ll learn how to move from being “the punisher” to being someone your children will want to go to when they need help.Tony's new best-selling book "He's a Porn Addict...Now What? An Expert and a Former Addict Answer Your Questions" is now available on Kindle. https://amzn.to/38mauBoTony Overbay, is the co-author of "He's a Porn Addict...Now What? An Expert and a Former Addict Answer Your Questions" now available on Amazon https://amzn.to/33fk0U4. The book debuted in the number 1 spot in the Sexual Health Recovery category and remains there as the time of this record. The book has received numerous positive reviews from professionals in the mental health and recovery fields.You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program The Path Back by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to receive updates on upcoming programs, and podcasts.Tony mentioned a product that he used to take out all of the "uh's" and "um's" that, in his words, "must be created by wizards and magic!" because it's that good! To learn more about Descript click here https://descript.com?lmref=v95myQ
Tony tackles the touchy topic of anxiety and gives tips on what to do when you're feeling anxious. You can watch this interview on YouTube here https://youtu.be/k1pPHfe3wd4 Please subscribe to The Virtual Couch YouTube channel at https://www.youtube.com/c/TheVirtualCouchPodcast/ and follow The Virtual Couch on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/virtualcouch/ This episode of The Virtual Couch is sponsored by http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch With the continuing “sheltering” rules that are spreading across the country PLEASE do not think that you can’t continue or begin therapy now. http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch can put you quickly in touch with licensed mental health professionals who can meet through text, email, or videoconference often as soon as 24-48 hours. And if you use the link http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch you will receive 10% off your first month of services. Please make your own mental health a priority, http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch offers affordable counseling, and they even have sliding scale options if your budget is tight. Tony's FREE parenting course, “Tips For Parenting Positively Even In the Not So Positive Times” is available NOW. Just go to https://www.tonyoverbay.com/courses-2/ and sign up today. This course will help you understand why it can be so difficult to communicate with and understand your children. You’ll learn how to keep your buttons hidden, how to genuinely give praise that will truly build inner wealth in your child, teen, or even in your adult children, and you’ll learn how to move from being “the punisher” to being someone your children will want to go to when they need help.Tony's new best-selling book "He's a Porn Addict...Now What? An Expert and a Former Addict Answer Your Questions" is now available on Kindle. https://amzn.to/38mauBoTony Overbay, is the co-author of "He's a Porn Addict...Now What? An Expert and a Former Addict Answer Your Questions" now available on Amazon https://amzn.to/33fk0U4. The book debuted in the number 1 spot in the Sexual Health Recovery category and remains there as the time of this record. The book has received numerous positive reviews from professionals in the mental health and recovery fields.You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program The Path Back by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to receive updates on upcoming programs, and podcasts.Tony mentioned a product that he used to take out all of the "uh's" and "um's" that, in his words, "must be created by wizards and magic!" because it's that good! To learn more about Descript click here https://descript.com?lmref=v95myQ
Jessica Frew truly lives a BOLD life. She is an author (https://theboldlogic.com/free-book), podcast host of the very real, raw, and funny podcast Husband in Law that she hosts with her current husband Matt, as well as her ex-husband Steve. From Jessica, "we were active members of the LDS/Mormon faith, and just a few months into our marriage, my husband (Steve) came to terms with the fact that he is gay." Jessica tells her story that is anything but what one expects when they get married but those experiences have truly made her who she is today, and along her path, she has discovered some very profound ways to help others take control of their own life, find joy, and silence the noise that so often gets in the way of helping us navigate the realities that life doesn't always turn out the way we expect. You can find the Husband in Law podcast here https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/husband-in-law/id1464470280 or wherever you listen to podcasts. You can follow the Husband in Law podcast on Instagram here https://www.instagram.com/husband_in_law/
You can watch this interview on YouTube here https://youtu.be/k1pPHfe3wd4 Please subscribe to The Virtual Couch YouTube channel at https://www.youtube.com/c/TheVirtualCouchPodcast/ and follow The Virtual Couch on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/virtualcouch/ This episode of The Virtual Couch is sponsored by http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch With the continuing “sheltering” rules that are spreading across the country PLEASE do not think that you can’t continue or begin therapy now. http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch can put you quickly in touch with licensed mental health professionals who can meet through text, email, or videoconference often as soon as 24-48 hours. And if you use the link http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch you will receive 10% off your first month of services. Please make your own mental health a priority, http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch offers affordable counseling, and they even have sliding scale options if your budget is tight. Tony's FREE parenting course, “Tips For Parenting Positively Even In the Not So Positive Times” is available NOW. Just go to https://www.tonyoverbay.com/courses-2/ and sign up today. This course will help you understand why it can be so difficult to communicate with and understand your children. You’ll learn how to keep your buttons hidden, how to genuinely give praise that will truly build inner wealth in your child, teen, or even in your adult children, and you’ll learn how to move from being “the punisher” to being someone your children will want to go to when they need help.Tony's new best-selling book "He's a Porn Addict...Now What? An Expert and a Former Addict Answer Your Questions" is now available on Kindle. https://amzn.to/38mauBoTony Overbay, is the co-author of "He's a Porn Addict...Now What? An Expert and a Former Addict Answer Your Questions" now available on Amazon https://amzn.to/33fk0U4. The book debuted in the number 1 spot in the Sexual Health Recovery category and remains there as the time of this record. The book has received numerous positive reviews from professionals in the mental health and recovery fields.You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program The Path Back by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to receive updates on upcoming programs, and podcasts.Tony mentioned a product that he used to take out all of the "uh's" and "um's" that, in his words, "must be created by wizards and magic!" because it's that good! To learn more about Descript click here https://descript.com?lmref=v95myQ
The term codependent is often used incorrectly in relationships. Yes, codependency, or needing external sources, things, or even people to give one a feeling of self-worth, is not the healthiest way to navigate a relationship, but often, with just a few tweaks, we can move a codependent relationship into an interdependent relationship. Tony refers to the article, “How To Build a Relationship Based on Interdependence” by Jodi Clarke, LPC (https://www.verywellmind.com/how-to-build-a-relationship-based-on-interdependence-4161249) where she shares: Interdependence involves a balance of self and others within the relationship, recognizing that both partners are working to be present and meet each other's physical and emotional needs in appropriate and meaningful ways.
Please subscribe to The Virtual Couch YouTube channel at https://www.youtube.com/c/TheVirtualCouchPodcast/ and follow The Virtual Couch on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/virtualcouch/ This episode of The Virtual Couch is sponsored by http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch With the continuing “sheltering” rules that are spreading across the country PLEASE do not think that you can’t continue or begin therapy now. http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch can put you quickly in touch with licensed mental health professionals who can meet through text, email, or videoconference often as soon as 24-48 hours. And if you use the link http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch you will receive 10% off your first month of services. Please make your own mental health a priority, http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch offers affordable counseling, and they even have sliding scale options if your budget is tight. Tony's FREE parenting course, “Tips For Parenting Positively Even In the Not So Positive Times” is available NOW. Just go to https://www.tonyoverbay.com/courses-2/ and sign up today. This course will help you understand why it can be so difficult to communicate with and understand your children. You’ll learn how to keep your buttons hidden, how to genuinely give praise that will truly build inner wealth in your child, teen, or even in your adult children, and you’ll learn how to move from being “the punisher” to being someone your children will want to go to when they need help.Tony's new best-selling book "He's a Porn Addict...Now What? An Expert and a Former Addict Answer Your Questions" is now available on Kindle. https://amzn.to/38mauBoTony Overbay, is the co-author of "He's a Porn Addict...Now What? An Expert and a Former Addict Answer Your Questions" now available on Amazon https://amzn.to/33fk0U4. The book debuted in the number 1 spot in the Sexual Health Recovery category and remains there as the time of this record. The book has received numerous positive reviews from professionals in the mental health and recovery fields.You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program The Path Back by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to receive updates on upcoming programs, and podcasts.Tony mentioned a product that he used to take out all of the "uh's" and "um's" that, in his words, "must be created by wizards and magic!" because it's that good! To learn more about Descript click here https://descript.com?lmref=v95myQ
Tony shows how putting the 4 Pillars of a Connected Conversation, one of the key components of his Magnetic Marriage Course (http://tonyoverbay.com/magnetic) together with your abandonment and attachment programming from childhood can create a pretty incredible conversation, relationship...and birthday! And did you realize that returning Christmas presents could actually be a way to connect?
Please subscribe to The Virtual Couch YouTube channel at https://www.youtube.com/c/TheVirtualCouchPodcast/ and follow The Virtual Couch on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/virtualcouch/ This episode of The Virtual Couch is sponsored by http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch With the continuing “sheltering” rules that are spreading across the country PLEASE do not think that you can’t continue or begin therapy now. http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch can put you quickly in touch with licensed mental health professionals who can meet through text, email, or videoconference often as soon as 24-48 hours. And if you use the link http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch you will receive 10% off your first month of services. Please make your own mental health a priority, http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch offers affordable counseling, and they even have sliding scale options if your budget is tight. Tony's FREE parenting course, “Tips For Parenting Positively Even In the Not So Positive Times” is available NOW. Just go to https://www.tonyoverbay.com/courses-2/ and sign up today. This course will help you understand why it can be so difficult to communicate with and understand your children. You’ll learn how to keep your buttons hidden, how to genuinely give praise that will truly build inner wealth in your child, teen, or even in your adult children, and you’ll learn how to move from being “the punisher” to being someone your children will want to go to when they need help.Tony's new best-selling book "He's a Porn Addict...Now What? An Expert and a Former Addict Answer Your Questions" is now available on Kindle. https://amzn.to/38mauBoTony Overbay, is the co-author of "He's a Porn Addict...Now What? An Expert and a Former Addict Answer Your Questions" now available on Amazon https://amzn.to/33fk0U4. The book debuted in the number 1 spot in the Sexual Health Recovery category and remains there as the time of this record. The book has received numerous positive reviews from professionals in the mental health and recovery fields.You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program The Path Back by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to receive updates on upcoming programs, and podcasts.Tony mentioned a product that he used to take out all of the "uh's" and "um's" that, in his words, "must be created by wizards and magic!" because it's that good! To learn more about Descript click here https://descript.com?lmref=v95myQ
Feeling stuck? Tony has the answers. Using Dr. Steven Hayes book Get Out of Your Mind and Into Your Life (https://amzn.to/3cBAw8Z) as his guide, Tony talks about the Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) principles of "pain of presence" and "pain of absence" and why attempting to avoid our challenges, our struggles, our pain, is not only putting off the inevitable but how it is also keeping us from living the life that we deserve. To take advantage of the special limited time offer Tony and Preston share at the end of the episode, or to find out more about the Magnetic Marriage course in general, head immediately to http://tonyoverbay.com/magnetic and sign up today to learn how to make your marriage the envy of all of those around. Please subscribe to The Virtual Couch YouTube channel at https://www.youtube.com/c/TheVirtualCouchPodcast/ and follow The Virtual Couch on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/virtualcouch/ This episode of The Virtual Couch is sponsored by http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch With the continuing “sheltering” rules that are spreading across the country PLEASE do not think that you can’t continue or begin therapy now. http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch can put you quickly in touch with licensed mental health professionals who can meet through text, email, or videoconference often as soon as 24-48 hours. And if you use the link http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch you will receive 10% off your first month of services. Please make your own mental health a priority, http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch offers affordable counseling, and they even have sliding scale options if your budget is tight. Tony's FREE parenting course, “Tips For Parenting Positively Even In the Not So Positive Times” is available NOW. Just go to https://www.tonyoverbay.com/courses-2/ and sign up today. This course will help you understand why it can be so difficult to communicate with and understand your children. You’ll learn how to keep your buttons hidden, how to genuinely give praise that will truly build inner wealth in your child, teen, or even in your adult children, and you’ll learn how to move from being “the punisher” to being someone your children will want to go to when they need help.Tony's new best-selling book "He's a Porn Addict...Now What? An Expert and a Former Addict Answer Your Questions" is now available on Kindle. https://amzn.to/38mauBoTony Overbay, is the co-author of "He's a Porn Addict...Now What? An Expert and a Former Addict Answer Your Questions" now available on Amazon https://amzn.to/33fk0U4. The book debuted in the number 1 spot in the Sexual Health Recovery category and remains there as the time of this record. The book has received numerous positive reviews from professionals in the mental health and recovery fields.You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program The Path Back by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to receive updates on upcoming programs, and podcasts.Tony mentioned a product that he used to take out all of the "uh's" and "um's" that, in his words, "must be created by wizards and magic!" because it's that good! To learn more about Descript click here https://descript.com?lmref=v95myQ
Do you want to know what's worse than divorce? How about running a daycare with someone you used to date and calling that a marriage? Do you feel like you and your spouse are more ROOMMATES instead of lovers! Have you ever thought: "Is the spark fading?", "It's getting harder to talk to them...", or "All we do is talk about the kids, schedules, and chores (daycare stuff)?" If so, it's time to take your marriage from mediocre to magnetic! Tony Overbay welcomes Magnetic Marriage co-creator Preston Pugmire (http://prestonpugmire.com) to the Virtual Couch. Preston is an award-winning inspirational speaker, podcaster, and Life Coach. Preston has presented in front of over 1300 audiences and his podcast, Next Level Life, debuted at #1 in the world on iTunes in the personal development category. Like peanut butter and chocolate, like cookies and milk, bacon and eggs, the list goes on, Tony, a licensed marriage and family therapist, and Preston, a successful life coach, bring the perfect mix of psychology, and motivation to the world of marriage communication to provide students of the Magnetic Marriage course with specific tools to help their marriages go from mediocre, to magnetic. To take advantage of the special limited time offer Tony and Preston share at the end of the episode, or to find out more about the Magnetic Marriage course in general, head immediately to http://tonyoverbay.com/magnetic and sign up today to learn how to make your marriage the envy of all of those around. Please subscribe to The Virtual Couch YouTube channel at https://www.youtube.com/c/TheVirtualCouchPodcast/ and follow The Virtual Couch on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/virtualcouch/ This episode of The Virtual Couch is sponsored by http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch With the continuing “sheltering” rules that are spreading across the country PLEASE do not think that you can’t continue or begin therapy now. http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch can put you quickly in touch with licensed mental health professionals who can meet through text, email, or videoconference often as soon as 24-48 hours. And if you use the link http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch you will receive 10% off your first month of services. Please make your own mental health a priority, http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch offers affordable counseling, and they even have sliding scale options if your budget is tight.
Tony's FREE parenting course, “Tips For Parenting Positively Even In the Not So Positive Times” is available NOW. Just go to https://www.tonyoverbay.com/courses-2/ and sign up today. This course will help you understand why it can be so difficult to communicate with and understand your children. You’ll learn how to keep your buttons hidden, how to genuinely give praise that will truly build inner wealth in your child, teen, or even in your adult children, and you’ll learn how to move from being “the punisher” to being someone your children will want to go to when they need help.Tony's new best-selling book "He's a Porn Addict...Now What? An Expert and a Former Addict Answer Your Questions" is now available on Kindle. https://amzn.to/38mauBoTony Overbay, is the co-author of "He's a Porn Addict...Now What? An Expert and a Former Addict Answer Your Questions" now available on Amazon https://amzn.to/33fk0U4. The book debuted in the number 1 spot in the Sexual Health Recovery category and remains there as the time of this record. The book has received numerous positive reviews from professionals in the mental health and recovery fields.You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program The Path Back by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to receive updates on upcoming programs, and podcasts.Tony mentioned a product that he used to take out all of the "uh's" and "um's" that, in his words, "must be created by wizards and magic!" because it's that good! To learn more about Descript click here https://descript.com?lmref=v95myQ
How important is family birth order in creating your personality? Tony references the article “Birth Order Traits: Your Guide to Sibling Personality Differences” by Jocelyn Voo https://www.parents.com/baby/development/social/birth-order-and-personality/ and “62 Interesting Birth Order Facts” https://www.factretriever.com/birth-order-facts in this episode. -Sign up at http://tonyoverbay.com to learn more about Tony’s upcoming “Magnetic Marriage” program!-Please subscribe to The Virtual Couch YouTube channel at https://www.youtube.com/c/TheVirtualCouchPodcast/ and sign up at http://tonyoverbay.com to learn more about Tony’s upcoming “Magnetic Marriage” program!-Tony's FREE parenting course, “Tips For Parenting Positively Even In the Not So Positive Times” is available NOW. Just go to https://www.tonyoverbay.com/courses-2/ and sign up today. This course will help you understand why it can be so difficult to communicate with and understand your children. You’ll learn how to keep your buttons hidden, how to genuinely give praise that will truly build inner wealth in your child, teen, or even in your adult children, and you’ll learn how to move from being “the punisher” to being someone your children will want to go to when they need help.-Tony's new best-selling book "He's a Porn Addict...Now What? An Expert and a Former Addict Answer Your Questions" is now available on Kindle. https://amzn.to/38mauBo-Tony Overbay, is the co-author of "He's a Porn Addict...Now What? An Expert and a Former Addict Answer Your Questions" now available on Amazon https://amzn.to/33fk0U4. The book debuted in the number 1 spot in the Sexual Health Recovery category and remains there as the time of this record. The book has received numerous positive reviews from professionals in the mental health and recovery fields.-You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program The Path Back by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to receive updates on upcoming programs, and podcasts.-Tony also mentioned his appearances this week on two podcasts, The Betrayed, The Addicted and The Expert with hosts Ashlyn and Coby, and Virtual Couch former guest Brannon Patrick where we discuss narcissism in detail and the challenges people face in relationships with narcissistic individuals https://www.betrayedaddictedexpert.com/podcast/episode/25d19bf1/is-narcissism-nature-or-nurture and The Millennial Member Podcast hosted by Emily Ensign where we discuss the topic of pornography, what helps with recovery, and what doesn’t https://www.buzzsprout.com/1072564/6209683-tony-overbay-pornography-and-recoveryTony mentioned a product that he used to take out all of the "uh's" and "um's" that, in his words, "must be created by wizards and magic!" because it's that good! To learn more about Descript click here https://descript.com?lmref=v95myQ
This episode of The Virtual Couch is sponsored by http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch With the continuing “sheltering” rules that are spreading across the country PLEASE do not think that you can’t continue or begin therapy now. http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch can put you quickly in touch with licensed mental health professionals who can meet through text, email, or videoconference often as soon as 24-48 hours. And if you use the link http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch you will receive 10% off your first month of services. Please make your own mental health a priority, http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch offers affordable counseling, and they even have sliding scale options if your budget is tight.
Are you in need of a parenting upgrade? Even from the most well-intentioned parents, our kids can still walk away from key parenting moments feeling shame, feeling alone, and often, even as we’re trying to teach life lessons, we more often than not end up not only missing an opportunity to show our kids that we’re truly there for them, but we miss key chances to model empathy, ownership of our own behavior and even deeper concepts of compassion, and standing confidently on their own two feet. In today’s episode we attack parenting more from a “what not to do” by referencing Christine Hammond’s article “Shame Based Parenting, A Narcissists Specialty” https://www.psychcentral.com/pro/exhausted-woman/2018/06/shame-based-parenting-a-narcissists-specialty#1 Tony also breaks down the differences of sympathy, empathy, pity and compassion by discussing Dr. Neel Burton’s article “Sympathy vs. Empathy” https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/hide-and-seek/201505/empathy-vs-sympathy-Sign up at http://tonyoverbay.com to learn more about Tony’s upcoming “Magnetic Marriage” program!-This episode of The Virtual Couch is sponsored by http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch With the continuing “sheltering” rules that are spreading across the country PLEASE do not think that you can’t continue or begin therapy now. http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch can put you quickly in touch with licensed mental health professionals who can meet through text, email, or videoconference often as soon as 24-48 hours. And if you use the link http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch you will receive 10% off your first month of services. Please make your own mental health a priority, http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch offers affordable counseling, and they even have sliding scale options if your budget is tight.-Please subscribe to The Virtual Couch YouTube channel at https://www.youtube.com/c/TheVirtualCouchPodcast/ and sign up at http://tonyoverbay.com to learn more about Tony’s upcoming “Magnetic Marriage” program!-Tony's FREE parenting course, “Tips For Parenting Positively Even In the Not So Positive Times” is available NOW. Just go to https://www.tonyoverbay.com/courses-2/ and sign up today. This course will help you understand why it can be so difficult to communicate with and understand your children. You’ll learn how to keep your buttons hidden, how to genuinely give praise that will truly build inner wealth in your child, teen, or even in your adult children, and you’ll learn how to move from being “the punisher” to being someone your children will want to go to when they need help.-Tony's new best-selling book "He's a Porn Addict...Now What? An Expert and a Former Addict Answer Your Questions" is now available on Kindle. https://amzn.to/38mauBo-Tony Overbay, is the co-author of "He's a Porn Addict...Now What? An Expert and a Former Addict Answer Your Questions" now available on Amazon https://amzn.to/33fk0U4. The book debuted in the number 1 spot in the Sexual Health Recovery category and remains there as the time of this record. The book has received numerous positive reviews from professionals in the mental health and recovery fields.-You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program The Path Back by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to receive updates on upcoming programs, and podcasts.-Tony also mentioned his appearances this week on two podcasts, The Betrayed, The Addicted and The Expert with hosts Ashlyn and Coby, and Virtual Couch former guest Brannon Patrick where we discuss narcissism in detail and the challenges people face in relationships with narcissistic individuals https://www.betrayedaddictedexpert.com/podcast/episode/25d19bf1/is-narcissism-nature-or-nurture and The Millennial Member Podcast hosted by Emily Ensign where we discuss the topic of pornography, what helps with recovery, and what doesn’t https://www.buzzsprout.com/1072564/6209683-tony-overbay-pornography-and-recovery
Tony mentioned a product that he used to take out all of the "uh's" and "um's" that, in his words, "must be created by wizards and magic!" because it's that good! To learn more about Descript click here https://descript.com?lmref=v95myQ
Today Tony shares some mind-blowing data about “kids these days” gathered from a couple of consulting jobs with extremely large companies who are losing young, new hires at an alarming rate compared to just a few years ago. He talks about how attachment and abandonment issues from early childhood manifest in our teenage years, and then he gives several tips on how to connect, and communicate better with your teenagers. Tony references episode 240, “I See You 2021” https://www.tonyoverbay.com/i-see-you-2021-are-you-ready-to-thrive-or-simply-survive/ and episode 237, “Here’s How You TRULY Connect” (using the 4 Pillars of a Connected Conversation) https://www.tonyoverbay.com/heres-how-you-truly-connect-aka-the-consequences-of-crummy-communication/ and if you would like to see Parks and Rec’s Leslie Knope rap the entire DJ Jazzy Jeff and the Fresh Prince song mentioned in the intro to this episode, you can find that here https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lGxzd8kbQZ8- Sign up at http://tonyoverbay.com to learn more about Tony’s upcoming “Magnetic Marriage” program! - This episode of The Virtual Couch is sponsored by http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch With the continuing “sheltering” rules that are spreading across the country PLEASE do not think that you can’t continue or begin therapy now. http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch can put you quickly in touch with licensed mental health professionals who can meet through text, email, or videoconference often as soon as 24-48 hours. And if you use the link http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch you will receive 10% off your first month of services. Please make your own mental health a priority, http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch offers affordable counseling, and they even have sliding scale options if your budget is tight. - Please subscribe to The Virtual Couch YouTube channel at https://www.youtube.com/c/TheVirtualCouchPodcast/ and sign up at http://tonyoverbay.com to learn more about Tony’s upcoming “Magnetic Marriage” program! - Tony's FREE parenting course, “Tips For Parenting Positively Even In the Not So Positive Times” is available NOW. Just go to https://www.tonyoverbay.com/courses-2/ and sign up today. This course will help you understand why it can be so difficult to communicate with and understand your children. You’ll learn how to keep your buttons hidden, how to genuinely give praise that will truly build inner wealth in your child, teen, or even in your adult children, and you’ll learn how to move from being “the punisher” to being someone your children will want to go to when they need help. - Tony's new best-selling book "He's a Porn Addict...Now What? An Expert and a Former Addict Answer Your Questions" is now available on Kindle. https://amzn.to/38mauBo - Tony Overbay, is the co-author of "He's a Porn Addict...Now What? An Expert and a Former Addict Answer Your Questions" now available on Amazon https://amzn.to/33fk0U4. The book debuted in the number 1 spot in the Sexual Health Recovery category and remains there as the time of this record. The book has received numerous positive reviews from professionals in the mental health and recovery fields. - You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program The Path Back by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to receive updates on upcoming programs, and podcasts. - Tony also mentioned his appearances this week on two podcasts, The Betrayed, The Addicted and The Expert with hosts Ashlyn and Coby, and Virtual Couch former guest Brannon Patrick where we discuss narcissism in detail and the challenges people face in relationships with narcissistic individuals https://www.betrayedaddictedexpert.com/podcast/episode/25d19bf1/is-narcissism-nature-or-nurture and The Millennial Member Podcast hosted by Emily Ensign where we discuss the topic of pornography, what helps with recovery, and what doesn’t https://www.buzzsprout.com/1072564/6209683-tony-overbay-pornography-and-recovery Tony mentioned a product that he used to take out all of the "uh's" and "um's" that, in his words, "must be created by wizards and magic!" because it's that good! To learn more about Descript click here https://descript.com?lmref=v95myQ
Using the power of story, or a colorful analogy can be an amazing way to help someone understand what YOU are going through. But often story and analogy are weaponized, leaving the listener not only NOT listening to the story, but exactly the opposite...looking for ways instead to debunk the story which only drives distance in what initially may have started out as a well-intentioned conversation. Tony mentioned his podcast episode last year where he tackled how to truly rock a New Year’s resolution, you can find that episode here https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-virtual-couch/id1275153998?i=1000461122683 and the Virtual Couch Cookie that Tony mentioned on today’s episode was crafted by the fine folks at http://thealchemybakehouse.com you can find them on Instagram @thealchemybakehouse -Sign up at http://tonyoverbay.com to learn more about Tony’s upcoming “Magnetic Marriage” program!- This episode of The Virtual Couch is sponsored by http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch With the continuing “sheltering” rules that are spreading across the country PLEASE do not think that you can’t continue or begin therapy now. http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch can put you quickly in touch with licensed mental health professionals who can meet through text, email, or videoconference often as soon as 24-48 hours. And if you use the link http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch you will receive 10% off your first month of services. Please make your own mental health a priority, http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch offers affordable counseling, and they even have sliding scale options if your budget is tight.
-Tony mentioned a product that he used to take out all of the "uh's" and "um's" that, in his words, "must be created by wizards and magic!" because it's that good! To learn more about Descript click here https://descript.com?lmref=v95myQ-Please subscribe to The Virtual Couch YouTube channel at https://www.youtube.com/c/TheVirtualCouchPodcast/ and sign up at http://tonyoverbay.com to learn more about Tony’s upcoming “Magnetic Marriage” program!-Tony's FREE parenting course, “Tips For Parenting Positively Even In the Not So Positive Times” is available NOW. Just go to https://www.tonyoverbay.com/courses-2/ and sign up today. This course will help you understand why it can be so difficult to communicate with and understand your children. You’ll learn how to keep your buttons hidden, how to genuinely give praise that will truly build inner wealth in your child, teen, or even in your adult children, and you’ll learn how to move from being “the punisher” to being someone your children will want to go to when they need help.-Tony's new best-selling book "He's a Porn Addict...Now What? An Expert and a Former Addict Answer Your Questions" is now available on Kindle. https://amzn.to/38mauBo-Tony Overbay, is the co-author of "He's a Porn Addict...Now What? An Expert and a Former Addict Answer Your Questions" now available on Amazon https://amzn.to/33fk0U4. The book debuted in the number 1 spot in the Sexual Health Recovery category and remains there as the time of this record. The book has received numerous positive reviews from professionals in the mental health and recovery fields.-You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program The Path Back by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to receive updates on upcoming programs, and podcasts.-Tony also mentioned his appearances this week on two podcasts, The Betrayed, The Addicted and The Expert with hosts Ashlyn and Coby, and Virtual Couch former guest Brannon Patrick where we discuss narcissism in detail and the challenges people face in relationships with narcissistic individuals https://www.betrayedaddictedexpert.com/podcast/episode/25d19bf1/is-narcissism-nature-or-nurture and The Millennial Member Podcast hosted by Emily Ensign where we discuss the topic of pornography, what helps with recovery, and what doesn’t https://www.buzzsprout.com/1072564/6209683-tony-overbay-pornography-and-recovery
Well, life has truly handed you lemons, not just one or two, but a truck full of lemons has backed up to your driveway and not even rang your doorbell and asked you where to put them. No, the truck just dumped them all in the driveway, there’s no use complaining about them...what do you do with them? We’re making lemonade...a lot of lemonade, because you truly do have it in you to take a driveway full of lemons and make the most wonderful lemonade that the world has ever tasted. Today we discover the recipe, through acceptance, through owning your own thoughts, feelings, emotions, through learning how to communicate, to stepping out of a victim mindset, to learning how to self soothe all the way to self-confidence. Cliches be darned, on today’s episode Tony shows you how to not simply survive based on everything going on in the world, but to truly thrive. -Sign up at http://tonyoverbay.com to learn more about Tony’s upcoming “Magnetic Marriage” program!-This episode of The Virtual Couch is sponsored by http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch With the continuing “sheltering” rules that are spreading across the country PLEASE do not think that you can’t continue or begin therapy now. http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch can put you quickly in touch with licensed mental health professionals who can meet through text, email, or videoconference often as soon as 24-48 hours. And if you use the link http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch you will receive 10% off your first month of services. Please make your own mental health a priority, http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch offers affordable counseling, and they even have sliding scale options if your budget is tight.-Tony mentioned a product that he used to take out all of the "uh's" and "um's" that, in his words, "must be created by wizards and magic!" because it's that good! To learn more about Descript click here https://descript.com?lmref=v95myQ-Please subscribe to The Virtual Couch YouTube channel at https://www.youtube.com/c/TheVirtualCouchPodcast/ and sign up at http://tonyoverbay.com to learn more about Tony’s upcoming “Magnetic Marriage” program!-Tony's FREE parenting course, “Tips For Parenting Positively Even In the Not So Positive Times” is available NOW. Just go to https://www.tonyoverbay.com/courses-2/ and sign up today. This course will help you understand why it can be so difficult to communicate with and understand your children. You’ll learn how to keep your buttons hidden, how to genuinely give praise that will truly build inner wealth in your child, teen, or even in your adult children, and you’ll learn how to move from being “the punisher” to being someone your children will want to go to when they need help.-Tony's new best-selling book "He's a Porn Addict...Now What? An Expert and a Former Addict Answer Your Questions" is now available on Kindle. https://amzn.to/38mauBo-Tony Overbay, is the co-author of "He's a Porn Addict...Now What? An Expert and a Former Addict Answer Your Questions" now available on Amazon https://amzn.to/33fk0U4. The book debuted in the number 1 spot in the Sexual Health Recovery category and remains there as the time of this record. The book has received numerous positive reviews from professionals in the mental health and recovery fields.-You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program The Path Back by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to receive updates on upcoming programs, and podcasts.-Tony also mentioned his appearances this week on two podcasts, The Betrayed, The Addicted and The Expert with hosts Ashlyn and Coby, and Virtual Couch former guest Brannon Patrick where we discuss narcissism in detail and the challenges people face in relationships with narcissistic individuals https://www.betrayedaddictedexpert.com/podcast/episode/25d19bf1/is-narcissism-nature-or-nurture and The Millennial Member Podcast hosted by Emily Ensign where we discuss the topic of pornography, what helps with recovery, and what doesn’t https://www.buzzsprout.com/1072564/6209683-tony-overbay-pornography-and-recovery
Tony welcomes his friend Nathan to The Virtual Couch to talk about dating. Why is it so difficult at times to muster up enough strength to date, how to navigate the world of online dating, are online dating profiles something you can trust? And Nathan takes us into the lab, he is a successful, single guy who has a hypothesis, a hypothesis that Tony hears often in the comfy confines of his office, but that might not be as acceptable to those who aren’t in the dating world at this time. They dig deep into the stats and data from online dating services themselves and talk about dating in the modern age. If you’re single, you may find Nathan’s hypothesis equal parts refreshing and for this episode, Tony and Nathan are looking for your comments and feedback. Just head to http://tonyoverbay.com and send your thoughts through the contact form. -Sign up at http://tonyoverbay.com to learn more about Tony’s upcoming “Magnetic Marriage” program!-This episode of The Virtual Couch is sponsored by http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch With the continuing “sheltering” rules that are spreading across the country PLEASE do not think that you can’t continue or begin therapy now. http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch can put you quickly in touch with licensed mental health professionals who can meet through text, email, or videoconference often as soon as 24-48 hours. And if you use the link http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch you will receive 10% off your first month of services. Please make your own mental health a priority, http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch offers affordable counseling, and they even have sliding scale options if your budget is tight. -Tony mentioned a product that he used to take out all of the "uh's" and "um's" that, in his words, "must be created by wizards and magic!" because it's that good! To learn more about Descript click here https://descript.com?lmref=v95myQ-Please subscribe to The Virtual Couch YouTube channel at https://www.youtube.com/c/TheVirtualCouchPodcast/ and sign up at http://tonyoverbay.com to learn more about Tony’s upcoming “Magnetic Marriage” program!-Tony's FREE parenting course, “Tips For Parenting Positively Even In the Not So Positive Times” is available NOW. Just go to https://www.tonyoverbay.com/courses-2/ and sign up today. This course will help you understand why it can be so difficult to communicate with and understand your children. You’ll learn how to keep your buttons hidden, how to genuinely give praise that will truly build inner wealth in your child, teen, or even in your adult children, and you’ll learn how to move from being “the punisher” to being someone your children will want to go to when they need help.-Tony's new best-selling book "He's a Porn Addict...Now What? An Expert and a Former Addict Answer Your Questions" is now available on Kindle. https://amzn.to/38mauBo-Tony Overbay, is the co-author of "He's a Porn Addict...Now What? An Expert and a Former Addict Answer Your Questions" now available on Amazon https://amzn.to/33fk0U4. The book debuted in the number 1 spot in the Sexual Health Recovery category and remains there as the time of this record. The book has received numerous positive reviews from professionals in the mental health and recovery fields.-You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program The Path Back by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to receive updates on upcoming programs, and podcasts. -Tony also mentioned his appearances this week on two podcasts, The Betrayed, The Addicted and The Expert with hosts Ashlyn and Coby, and Virtual Couch former guest Brannon Patrick where we discuss narcissism in detail and the challenges people face in relationships with narcissistic individuals https://www.betrayedaddictedexpert.com/podcast/episode/25d19bf1/is-narcissism-nature-or-nurture and The Millennial Member Podcast hosted by Emily Ensign where we discuss the topic of pornography, what helps with recovery, and what doesn’t https://www.buzzsprout.com/1072564/6209683-tony-overbay-pornography-and-recovery
Acceptance can be both liberating and confusing. To accept that you may not be a professional baseball playing astronaut who marries a supermodel and lives in a mansion overlooking the beach can in one sense be the end of a dream (OK, a pretty far fetched dream, to be fair). Often our brains are afraid of accepting our current situation because we fear that with acceptance comes apathy. More often, however, acceptance can be empowering. Accepting that you are a human, full of emotion, thoughts, frustrations, fears, and more, actually allows you to move forward without the feeling of shame. For many people, that movement can be the first step toward an incredibly rewarding, sometimes frustrating, sometimes exhilarating life. Tony also refers to the article What Are Primary Emotions? Learn To Understand Your Instincts https://blog.mindvalley.com/primary-emotions/
Sign up at http://tonyoverbay.com to learn more about Tony’s upcoming “Magnetic Marriage” program!
This episode of The Virtual Couch is sponsored by http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch With the continuing “sheltering” rules that are spreading across the country PLEASE do not think that you can’t continue or begin therapy now. http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch can put you quickly in touch with licensed mental health professionals who can meet through text, email, or videoconference often as soon as 24-48 hours. And if you use the link http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch you will receive 10% off your first month of services. Please make your own mental health a priority, http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch offers affordable counseling, and they even have sliding scale options if your budget is tight.-Tony mentioned a product that he used to take out all of the "uh's" and "um's" that, in his words, "must be created by wizards and magic!" because it's that good! To learn more about Descript click here https://descript.com?lmref=v95myQ-Please subscribe to The Virtual Couch YouTube channel at https://www.youtube.com/c/TheVirtualCouchPodcast/ and sign up at http://tonyoverbay.com to learn more about Tony’s upcoming “Magnetic Marriage” program!-Tony's FREE parenting course, “Tips For Parenting Positively Even In the Not So Positive Times” is available NOW. Just go to https://www.tonyoverbay.com/courses-2/ and sign up today. This course will help you understand why it can be so difficult to communicate with and understand your children. You’ll learn how to keep your buttons hidden, how to genuinely give praise that will truly build inner wealth in your child, teen, or even in your adult children, and you’ll learn how to move from being “the punisher” to being someone your children will want to go to when they need help.-Tony's new best-selling book "He's a Porn Addict...Now What? An Expert and a Former Addict Answer Your Questions" is now available on Kindle. https://amzn.to/38mauBo-Tony Overbay, is the co-author of "He's a Porn Addict...Now What? An Expert and a Former Addict Answer Your Questions" now available on Amazon https://amzn.to/33fk0U4. The book debuted in the number 1 spot in the Sexual Health Recovery category and remains there as the time of this record. The book has received numerous positive reviews from professionals in the mental health and recovery fields.-You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program The Path Back by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to receive updates on upcoming programs, and podcasts. -Tony also mentioned his appearances this week on two podcasts, The Betrayed, The Addicted and The Expert with hosts Ashlyn and Coby, and Virtual Couch former guest Brannon Patrick where we discuss narcissism in detail and the challenges people face in relationships with narcissistic individuals https://www.betrayedaddictedexpert.com/podcast/episode/25d19bf1/is-narcissism-nature-or-nurture and The Millennial Member Podcast hosted by Emily Ensign where we discuss the topic of pornography, what helps with recovery, and what doesn’t https://www.buzzsprout.com/1072564/6209683-tony-overbay-pornography-and-recovery
Tony talks about how to get to the deeper parts of a conversation with your spouse using his 4 Pillars of a Connected Conversation. Without the right communication skills, and techniques, you’re not simply having an unproductive conversation, you’re missing out on an opportunity to truly connect, and grow closer to your spouse. And these techniques are not as difficult to put into practice, they just don’t come naturally.
Sign up at http://tonyoverbay.com to learn more about Tony’s upcoming “Magnetic Marriage” program!
This episode of The Virtual Couch is sponsored by http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch With the continuing “sheltering” rules that are spreading across the country PLEASE do not think that you can’t continue or begin therapy now. http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch can put you quickly in touch with licensed mental health professionals who can meet through text, email, or videoconference often as soon as 24-48 hours. And if you use the link http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch you will receive 10% off your first month of services. Please make your own mental health a priority, http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch offers affordable counseling, and they even have sliding scale options if your budget is tight.-Tony mentioned a product that he used to take out all of the "uh's" and "um's" that, in his words, "must be created by wizards and magic!" because it's that good! To learn more about Descript click here https://descript.com?lmref=v95myQ-Please subscribe to The Virtual Couch YouTube channel at https://www.youtube.com/c/TheVirtualCouchPodcast/ and sign up at http://tonyoverbay.com to learn more about Tony’s upcoming “Magnetic Marriage” program!-Tony's FREE parenting course, “Tips For Parenting Positively Even In the Not So Positive Times” is available NOW. Just go to https://www.tonyoverbay.com/courses-2/ and sign up today. This course will help you understand why it can be so difficult to communicate with and understand your children. You’ll learn how to keep your buttons hidden, how to genuinely give praise that will truly build inner wealth in your child, teen, or even in your adult children, and you’ll learn how to move from being “the punisher” to being someone your children will want to go to when they need help.-Tony's new best-selling book "He's a Porn Addict...Now What? An Expert and a Former Addict Answer Your Questions" is now available on Kindle. https://amzn.to/38mauBo-Tony Overbay, is the co-author of "He's a Porn Addict...Now What? An Expert and a Former Addict Answer Your Questions" now available on Amazon https://amzn.to/33fk0U4. The book debuted in the number 1 spot in the Sexual Health Recovery category and remains there as the time of this record. The book has received numerous positive reviews from professionals in the mental health and recovery fields.-You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program The Path Back by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to receive updates on upcoming programs, and podcasts. -Tony also mentioned his appearances this week on two podcasts, The Betrayed, The Addicted and The Expert with hosts Ashlyn and Coby, and Virtual Couch former guest Brannon Patrick where we discuss narcissism in detail and the challenges people face in relationships with narcissistic individuals https://www.betrayedaddictedexpert.com/podcast/episode/25d19bf1/is-narcissism-nature-or-nurture and The Millennial Member Podcast hosted by Emily Ensign where we discuss the topic of pornography, what helps with recovery, and what doesn’t https://www.buzzsprout.com/1072564/6209683-tony-overbay-pornography-and-recovery
With the New Year soon approaching, it’s time to talk habits! Inevitably millions of people will start to look at creating new habits, and breaking old ones and guest Abby Green has done all the research on habit formation so you don’t have to! Abby is a certified Tiny Habit’s instructor, successful life coach, wife, and mother of four vibrant children so she understands that sometimes you only have a short amount of time to work with when it comes to self-care, and especially the formation of new habits. Abby and Tony discuss in detail BJ Fogg’s breakthrough book “Tiny Habit’s” and Abby talks about the formula that BJ has developed over years of research that bring results. Abby mentions her “Health Holiday Habits Challenge” during the episode and she’s offering a discount on her program of habit change which begins on December 7th. Go to http://simplythrivenow.com for more information.
Sign up at http://tonyoverbay.com to learn more about Tony’s upcoming “Magnetic Marriage” program!
This episode of The Virtual Couch is sponsored by http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch With the continuing “sheltering” rules that are spreading across the country PLEASE do not think that you can’t continue or begin therapy now. http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch can put you quickly in touch with licensed mental health professionals who can meet through text, email, or videoconference often as soon as 24-48 hours. And if you use the link http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch you will receive 10% off your first month of services. Please make your own mental health a priority, http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch offers affordable counseling, and they even have sliding scale options if your budget is tight.-Tony mentioned a product that he used to take out all of the "uh's" and "um's" that, in his words, "must be created by wizards and magic!" because it's that good! To learn more about Descript click here https://descript.com?lmref=v95myQ-Please subscribe to The Virtual Couch YouTube channel at https://www.youtube.com/c/TheVirtualCouchPodcast/ and sign up at http://tonyoverbay.com to learn more about Tony’s upcoming “Magnetic Marriage” program!-Tony's FREE parenting course, “Tips For Parenting Positively Even In the Not So Positive Times” is available NOW. Just go to https://www.tonyoverbay.com/courses-2/ and sign up today. This course will help you understand why it can be so difficult to communicate with and understand your children. You’ll learn how to keep your buttons hidden, how to genuinely give praise that will truly build inner wealth in your child, teen, or even in your adult children, and you’ll learn how to move from being “the punisher” to being someone your children will want to go to when they need help.-Tony's new best-selling book "He's a Porn Addict...Now What? An Expert and a Former Addict Answer Your Questions" is now available on Kindle. https://amzn.to/38mauBo-Tony Overbay, is the co-author of "He's a Porn Addict...Now What? An Expert and a Former Addict Answer Your Questions" now available on Amazon https://amzn.to/33fk0U4. The book debuted in the number 1 spot in the Sexual Health Recovery category and remains there as the time of this record. The book has received numerous positive reviews from professionals in the mental health and recovery fields.-You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program The Path Back by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to receive updates on upcoming programs, and podcasts. -Tony also mentioned his appearances this week on two podcasts, The Betrayed, The Addicted and The Expert with hosts Ashlyn and Coby, and Virtual Couch former guest Brannon Patrick where we discuss narcissism in detail and the challenges people face in relationships with narcissistic individuals https://www.betrayedaddictedexpert.com/podcast/episode/25d19bf1/is-narcissism-nature-or-nurture and The Millennial Member Podcast hosted by Emily Ensign where we discuss the topic of pornography, what helps with recovery, and what doesn’t https://www.buzzsprout.com/1072564/6209683-tony-overbay-pornography-and-recovery
Relationship and sexuality expert Dr. Jennifer Finlayson-fife (http://finlayson-fife.com) returns for her 3rd time to the Virtual Couch! On today’s episode, Tony and Jennifer discuss the challenges that occur in relationships when one partner finds themselves often feeling like they are more invested. Tony shares his observations from over 1,000 couples that have come through his office, as well as his preparation for his upcoming Magnetic Marriage course, that couples often settle into two camps, one with more of an anxious, “needy” or “clingy” attachment style, the other a more avoidant, “arms-length” attachment style. So the more the anxious attachment presses to have their needs met, the more the avoidant attachment tends to pull away. They also answer an email from a fan of both Tony and Jennifer who asks how to show up “all in” to the marriage when one spouse may have narcissistic traits or tendencies?
Sign up at http://tonyoverbay.com to learn more about Tony’s upcoming “Magnetic Marriage” program!
This episode of The Virtual Couch is sponsored by http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch With the continuing “sheltering” rules that are spreading across the country PLEASE do not think that you can’t continue or begin therapy now. http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch can put you quickly in touch with licensed mental health professionals who can meet through text, email, or videoconference often as soon as 24-48 hours. And if you use the link http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch you will receive 10% off your first month of services. Please make your own mental health a priority, http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch offers affordable counseling, and they even have sliding scale options if your budget is tight.-Tony mentioned a product that he used to take out all of the "uh's" and "um's" that, in his words, "must be created by wizards and magic!" because it's that good! To learn more about Descript click here https://descript.com?lmref=v95myQ-Please subscribe to The Virtual Couch YouTube channel at https://www.youtube.com/c/TheVirtualCouchPodcast/-Tony's FREE parenting course, “Tips For Parenting Positively Even In the Not So Positive Times” is available NOW. Just go to https://www.tonyoverbay.com/courses-2/ and sign up today. This course will help you understand why it can be so difficult to communicate with and understand your children. You’ll learn how to keep your buttons hidden, how to genuinely give praise that will truly build inner wealth in your child, teen, or even in your adult children, and you’ll learn how to move from being “the punisher” to being someone your children will want to go to when they need help.-Tony's new best-selling book "He's a Porn Addict...Now What? An Expert and a Former Addict Answer Your Questions" is now available on Kindle. https://amzn.to/38mauBo-Tony Overbay, is the co-author of "He's a Porn Addict...Now What? An Expert and a Former Addict Answer Your Questions" now available on Amazon https://amzn.to/33fk0U4. The book debuted in the number 1 spot in the Sexual Health Recovery category and remains there as the time of this record. The book has received numerous positive reviews from professionals in the mental health and recovery fields.-You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program The Path Back by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to receive updates on upcoming programs, and podcasts. -Tony also mentioned his appearances this week on two podcasts, The Betrayed, The Addicted and The Expert with hosts Ashlyn and Coby, and Virtual Couch former guest Brannon Patrick where we discuss narcissism in detail and the challenges people face in relationships with narcissistic individuals https://www.betrayedaddictedexpert.com/podcast/episode/25d19bf1/is-narcissism-nature-or-nurture and The Millennial Member Podcast hosted by Emily Ensign where we discuss the topic of pornography, what helps with recovery, and what doesn’t https://www.buzzsprout.com/1072564/6209683-tony-overbay-pornography-and-recovery
Liar, Liar Pants On Fire! Do you lie? Come on, we all do right? Or do we? What’s the difference between a pathological liar, a compulsive liar, and somebody who just tells a little white lie because they don’t want to hurt anyone's feelings? -This episode of The Virtual Couch is sponsored by http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch With the continuing “sheltering” rules that are spreading across the country PLEASE do not think that you can’t continue or begin therapy now. http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch can put you quickly in touch with licensed mental health professionals who can meet through text, email, or videoconference often as soon as 24-48 hours. And if you use the link http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch you will receive 10% off your first month of services. Please make your own mental health a priority, http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch offers affordable counseling, and they even have sliding scale options if your budget is tight.
-Tony also mentioned his appearances this week on two podcasts, The Betrayed, The Addicted and The Expert with hosts Ashlyn and Coby, and Virtual Couch former guest Brannon Patrick where we discuss narcissism in detail and the challenges people face in relationships with narcissistic individuals https://www.betrayedaddictedexpert.com/podcast/episode/25d19bf1/is-narcissism-nature-or-nurture and The Millennial Member Podcast hosted by Emily Ensign where we discuss the topic of pornography, what helps with recovery, and what doesn’t https://www.buzzsprout.com/1072564/6209683-tony-overbay-pornography-and-recovery-Tony mentioned a product that he used to take out all of the "uh's" and "um's" that, in his words, "must be created by wizards and magic!" because it's that good! To learn more about Descript click here https://descript.com?lmref=v95myQ-Please subscribe to The Virtual Couch YouTube channel at https://www.youtube.com/c/TheVirtualCouchPodcast/ and sign up at http://tonyoverbay.com to learn more about Tony’s upcoming “Magnetic Marriage” program!-Tony's FREE parenting course, “Tips For Parenting Positively Even In the Not So Positive Times” is available NOW. Just go to https://www.tonyoverbay.com/courses-2/ and sign up today. This course will help you understand why it can be so difficult to communicate with and understand your children. You’ll learn how to keep your buttons hidden, how to genuinely give praise that will truly build inner wealth in your child, teen, or even in your adult children, and you’ll learn how to move from being “the punisher” to being someone your children will want to go to when they need help.-Tony's new best-selling book "He's a Porn Addict...Now What? An Expert and a Former Addict Answer Your Questions" is now available on Kindle. https://amzn.to/38mauBo-Tony Overbay, is the co-author of "He's a Porn Addict...Now What? An Expert and a Former Addict Answer Your Questions" now available on Amazon https://amzn.to/33fk0U4. The book debuted in the number 1 spot in the Sexual Health Recovery category and remains there as the time of this record. The book has received numerous positive reviews from professionals in the mental health and recovery fields.--You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program The Path Back by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to receive updates on upcoming programs, and podcasts. https://vurbl.com/station/virtualcouch
For most of us, when we think of our marital relationships our minds don’t immediately go to the second law of thermodynamics, or entropy, but according to some marriage researchers, there is definitely a correlation. According to Stephen F. Duncan, entropy suggests that “starting on your wedding day, your marriage will begin a slow downward slide--that is unless you take action. Entropy is caused by inattention to the emotionally soft underbelly of a marriage, which needs constant attention. We have to do something active to counteract the erosion processes that are a natural and normal part of most marriages.” In today’s episode, we’ll talk about what that action looks like, and Tony will give a sneak peek of sorts to his upcoming Magnetic Marriage course on marriage communication. Tony references the article Resisting Marital Entropy by Sue Bergin https://magazine.byu.edu/article/resisting-marital-entropy/ -This episode of The Virtual Couch is sponsored by http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch With the continuing “sheltering” rules that are spreading across the country PLEASE do not think that you can’t continue or begin therapy now. http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch can put you quickly in touch with licensed mental health professionals who can meet through text, email, or videoconference often as soon as 24-48 hours. And if you use the link http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch you will receive 10% off your first month of services. Please make your own mental health a priority, http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch offers affordable counseling, and they even have sliding scale options if your budget is tight.
-Tony also mentioned his appearances this week on two podcasts, The Betrayed, The Addicted and The Expert with hosts Ashlyn and Coby, and Virtual Couch former guest Brannon Patrick where we discuss narcissism in detail and the challenges people face in relationships with narcissistic individuals https://www.betrayedaddictedexpert.com/podcast/episode/25d19bf1/is-narcissism-nature-or-nurture and The Millennial Member Podcast hosted by Emily Ensign where we discuss the topic of pornography, what helps with recovery, and what doesn’t https://www.buzzsprout.com/1072564/6209683-tony-overbay-pornography-and-recovery-Tony mentioned a product that he used to take out all of the "uh's" and "um's" that, in his words, "must be created by wizards and magic!" because it's that good! To learn more about Descript click here https://descript.com?lmref=v95myQ-Please subscribe to The Virtual Couch YouTube channel at https://www.youtube.com/c/TheVirtualCouchPodcast/ and sign up at http://tonyoverbay.com to learn more about Tony’s upcoming “Magnetic Marriage” program!-Tony's FREE parenting course, “Tips For Parenting Positively Even In the Not So Positive Times” is available NOW. Just go to https://www.tonyoverbay.com/courses-2/ and sign up today. This course will help you understand why it can be so difficult to communicate with and understand your children. You’ll learn how to keep your buttons hidden, how to genuinely give praise that will truly build inner wealth in your child, teen, or even in your adult children, and you’ll learn how to move from being “the punisher” to being someone your children will want to go to when they need help.-Tony's new best-selling book "He's a Porn Addict...Now What? An Expert and a Former Addict Answer Your Questions" is now available on Kindle. https://amzn.to/38mauBo-Tony Overbay, is the co-author of "He's a Porn Addict...Now What? An Expert and a Former Addict Answer Your Questions" now available on Amazon https://amzn.to/33fk0U4. The book debuted in the number 1 spot in the Sexual Health Recovery category and remains there as the time of this record. The book has received numerous positive reviews from professionals in the mental health and recovery fields.--You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program The Path Back by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to receive updates on upcoming programs, and podcasts. https://vurbl.com/station/virtualcouch
Have you ever heard that you can somewhat easily choose to be happy by simply switching all your thoughts from unhappy, to happy? Sure, that sounds fantastic, but unfortunately, it's not that simple, and there's plenty of data that shows that for some, it can make matters worse! Within the day, or the hour, or even the minute, chances are your thoughts have been all over the map. Happy, sad, angry, funny, scary, manipulative, inappropriate, these are just a few of the many thoughts that somewhat magically appear in the theater of the brain. For some reason, we let our thoughts often dictate our moods, as well as our actions, when in reality all they are are thoughts...just images, and words, that can bring a slew of emotions along with them. Plus Tony discusses "analysis paralysis" from the article "Analysis Paralysis: When Thinking Too Much Blocks You" by Jennifer Delgado https://psychology-spot.com/analysis-paralysis/-This episode of The Virtual Couch is sponsored by http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch With the continuing “sheltering” rules that are spreading across the country PLEASE do not think that you can’t continue or begin therapy now. http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch can put you quickly in touch with licensed mental health professionals who can meet through text, email, or videoconference often as soon as 24-48 hours. And if you use the link http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch you will receive 10% off your first month of services. Please make your own mental health a priority, http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch offers affordable counseling, and they even have sliding scale options if your budget is tight.-Tony also mentioned his appearances this week on two podcasts, The Betrayed, The Addicted and The Expert with hosts Ashlyn and Coby, and Virtual Couch former guest Brannon Patrick where we discuss narcissism in detail and the challenges people face in relationships with narcissistic individuals https://www.betrayedaddictedexpert.com/podcast/episode/25d19bf1/is-narcissism-nature-or-nurture and The Millennial Member Podcast hosted by Emily Ensign where we discuss the topic of pornography, what helps with recovery, and what doesn’t https://www.buzzsprout.com/1072564/6209683-tony-overbay-pornography-and-recovery-Tony mentioned a product that he used to take out all of the "uh's" and "um's" that, in his words, "must be created by wizards and magic!" because it's that good! To learn more about Descript click here https://descript.com?lmref=v95myQ-Please subscribe to The Virtual Couch YouTube channel at https://www.youtube.com/c/TheVirtualCouchPodcast/ and sign up at http://tonyoverbay.com to learn more about Tony’s upcoming “Magnetic Marriage” program!-Tony's FREE parenting course, “Tips For Parenting Positively Even In the Not So Positive Times” is available NOW. Just go to https://www.tonyoverbay.com/courses-2/ and sign up today. This course will help you understand why it can be so difficult to communicate with and understand your children. You’ll learn how to keep your buttons hidden, how to genuinely give praise that will truly build inner wealth in your child, teen, or even in your adult children, and you’ll learn how to move from being “the punisher” to being someone your children will want to go to when they need help.-Tony's new best-selling book "He's a Porn Addict...Now What? An Expert and a Former Addict Answer Your Questions" is now available on Kindle. https://amzn.to/38mauBo-Tony Overbay, is the co-author of "He's a Porn Addict...Now What? An Expert and a Former Addict Answer Your Questions" now available on Amazon https://amzn.to/33fk0U4. The book debuted in the number 1 spot in the Sexual Health Recovery category and remains there as the time of this record. The book has received numerous positive reviews from professionals in the mental health and recovery fields.--You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program The Path Back by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to receive updates on upcoming programs, and podcasts.
Dr. Jennifer Finlayson-fife (www.finlayson-fife.com) a popular relationship and sexuality counselor, joins Tony on the podcast to talk about the challenges around sexuality that women face growing up in a faith-based culture. Dr. Finlayson-fife is a licensed psychotherapist with a Ph.D. in Counseling Psychology from Boston College. She wrote her dissertation on LDS women and sexuality, has taught college-level courses on human sexuality, and she currently teaches online and community-based relationship and sexuality courses to LDS couples. She is a frequent contributor on the subjects of sexuality, mental health, and spirituality to LDS-themed blogs, magazines, and podcasts. She also maintains a private practice in Chicago where she lives with her husband and three children. You can find out more about her programs, including the one discussed on the podcast, the Art of Desire, on her website https://www.finlayson-fife.com/
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Tony also mentioned his appearances this week on two podcasts, The Betrayed, The Addicted and The Expert with hosts Ashlyn and Coby, and Virtual Couch former guest Brannon Patrick where we discuss narcissism in detail and the challenges people face in relationships with narcissistic individuals https://www.betrayedaddictedexpert.com/podcast/episode/25d19bf1/is-narcissism-nature-or-nurture and The Melinneal Member Podcast hosted by Emily Ensign where we discuss the topic of pornography, what helps with recovery, and what doesn’t https://www.buzzsprout.com/1072564/6209683-tony-overbay-pornography-and-recovery
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Tony mentioned a product that he used to take out all of the "uh's" and "um's" that, in his words, "must be created by wizards and magic!" because it's that good! To learn more about Descript click here https://descript.com?lmref=v95myQ
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Please subscribe to The Virtual Couch YouTube channel at https://www.youtube.com/c/TheVirtualCouchPodcast/ and sign up at http://tonyoverbay.com to learn more about Tony’s upcoming “Magnetic Marriage” program!
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Tony's FREE parenting course, “Tips For Parenting Positively Even In the Not So Positive Times” is available NOW. Just go to http://tonyoverbay.com/courses/ and sign up today. This course will help you understand why it can be so difficult to communicate with and understand your children. You’ll learn how to keep your buttons hidden, how to genuinely give praise that will truly build inner wealth in your child, teen, or even in your adult children, and you’ll learn how to move from being “the punisher” to being someone your children will want to go to when they need help.
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This episode of The Virtual Couch is sponsored by http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch With the continuing “sheltering” rules that are spreading across the country PLEASE do not think that you can’t continue or begin therapy now. http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch can put you quickly in touch with licensed mental health professionals who can meet through text, email, or videoconference often as soon as 24-48 hours. And if you use the link http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch you will receive 10% off your first month of services. Please make your own mental health a priority, http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch offers affordable counseling, and they even have sliding scale options if your budget is tight.
-
Tony's new best-selling book "He's a Porn Addict...Now What? An Expert and a Former Addict Answer Your Questions" is now available on Kindle. https://amzn.to/38mauBo
-
Tony Overbay, is the co-author of "He's a Porn Addict...Now What? An Expert and a Former Addict Answer Your Questions" now available on Amazon https://amzn.to/33fk0U4. The book debuted in the number 1 spot in the Sexual Health Recovery category and remains there as the time of this record. The book has received numerous positive reviews from professionals in the mental health and recovery fields.
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You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program The Path Back by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to receive updates on upcoming programs, and podcasts.
What if your thoughts, even ones that you previously considered to be negative, harmful, unproductive, or even toxic, when put into context weren’t the monsters that you have made them out to be? Welcome to the world of Functional Contextualism.” This key principle of Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) will help you understand that often even our most unproductive thoughts when put into the right context, can simply be stories that our brain is trying to get us to buy into in order to protect us. Too often we hear that we simply need to change the thought, and your behavior will naturally follow. But this isn’t as easy as we make it out to be. Have you ever thought about running away from a situation and then stayed? Or have you ever gotten so mad at someone that you thought about yelling at them to get even...and then not yelled at them? Then clearly your thoughts don’t always control your behaviors. The key is learning how to put the thoughts in the proper context. In today’s episode, we’re going to geek out on an ACT term called “Functional Contextualism.” Functional Contextualism will help you immediately make a small shift in your thought process to recognize thoughts for what they truly are, just pictures and words inside of our head...yet we often give them too much meaning...when taken into context, our thoughts can be clues to what we’re truly afraid of, and, better yet, what we truly want.
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In this episode, Tony references Russ Harris’ values worksheet, as well as a sample chapter from his book, ACT Made Simple. You can find this information here https://res.cloudinary.com/psychwire/image/upload/v1519263962/pw.com/resources/harris/Values_Checklist_-_Russ_Harris.pdf and here https://psychwire.com/harris/resources
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Tony mentioned a product that he used to take out all of the "uh's" and "um's" that, in his words, "must be created by wizards and magic!" because it's that good! To learn more about Descript click here https://descript.com?lmref=v95myQ
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Please subscribe to The Virtual Couch YouTube channel at https://www.youtube.com/c/TheVirtualCouchPodcast/ and sign up at http://tonyoverbay.com to learn more about Tony’s upcoming “Magnetic Marriage” program!
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Tony's FREE parenting course, “Tips For Parenting Positively Even In the Not So Positive Times” is available NOW. Just go to http://tonyoverbay.com/courses/ and sign up today. This course will help you understand why it can be so difficult to communicate with and understand your children. You’ll learn how to keep your buttons hidden, how to genuinely give praise that will truly build inner wealth in your child, teen, or even in your adult children, and you’ll learn how to move from being “the punisher” to being someone your children will want to go to when they need help.
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This episode of The Virtual Couch is sponsored by http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch With the continuing “sheltering” rules that are spreading across the country PLEASE do not think that you can’t continue or begin therapy now. http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch can put you quickly in touch with licensed mental health professionals who can meet through text, email, or videoconference often as soon as 24-48 hours. And if you use the link http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch you will receive 10% off your first month of services. Please make your own mental health a priority, http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch offers affordable counseling, and they even have sliding scale options if your budget is tight.
-
Tony's new best-selling book "He's a Porn Addict...Now What? An Expert and a Former Addict Answer Your Questions" is now available on Kindle. https://amzn.to/38mauBo
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Tony Overbay, is the co-author of "He's a Porn Addict...Now What? An Expert and a Former Addict Answer Your Questions" now available on Amazon https://amzn.to/33fk0U4. The book debuted in the number 1 spot in the Sexual Health Recovery category and remains there as the time of this record. The book has received numerous positive reviews from professionals in the mental health and recovery fields.
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You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program The Path Back by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to receive updates on upcoming programs, and podcasts
My bad! These two simple words can do more to diffuse a potentially charged situation than almost any other in the English language. Personal accountability is a skill that can be developed, and when acknowledged, “owning it” can cause a ripple effect in your life, and can have a significant positive impact on your relationships. In today’s episode, Tony references the article How To Help Your Child with Accountability by Erin Leonard Ph.D. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/peaceful-parenting/201902/how-help-your-child-accountability and then applies this information, and more, into our adult relationships. Why is it so difficult to admit fault, and how does our own lack of ownership of our own problems affect our children, as well as our relationships with others?
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Tony mentioned a product that he used to take out all of the "uh's" and "um's" that, in his words, "must be created by wizards and magic!" because it's that good! To learn more about Descript click here https://descript.com?lmref=v95myQ
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Please subscribe to The Virtual Couch YouTube channel at https://www.youtube.com/c/TheVirtualCouchPodcast/ and sign up at http://tonyoverbay.com to learn more about Tony’s upcoming “Magnetic Marriage” program!
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Tony's FREE parenting course, “Tips For Parenting Positively Even In the Not So Positive Times” is available NOW. Just go to http://tonyoverbay.com/courses/ and sign up today. This course will help you understand why it can be so difficult to communicate with and understand your children. You’ll learn how to keep your buttons hidden, how to genuinely give praise that will truly build inner wealth in your child, teen, or even in your adult children, and you’ll learn how to move from being “the punisher” to being someone your children will want to go to when they need help.
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This episode of The Virtual Couch is sponsored by http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch With the continuing “sheltering” rules that are spreading across the country PLEASE do not think that you can’t continue or begin therapy now. http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch can put you quickly in touch with licensed mental health professionals who can meet through text, email, or videoconference often as soon as 24-48 hours. And if you use the link http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch you will receive 10% off your first month of services. Please make your own mental health a priority, http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch offers affordable counseling, and they even have sliding scale options if your budget is tight.
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Tony's new best selling book "He's a Porn Addict...Now What? An Expert and a Former Addict Answer Your Questions" is now available on Kindle. https://amzn.to/38mauBo
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Tony Overbay, is the co-author of "He's a Porn Addict...Now What? An Expert and a Former Addict Answer Your Questions" now available on Amazon https://amzn.to/33fk0U4. The book debuted in the number 1 spot in the Sexual Health Recovery category and remains there as the time of this record. The book has received numerous positive reviews from professionals in the mental health and recovery fields.
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You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program The Path Back by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to receive updates on upcoming programs, and podcasts.
Do you always feel like you’re never going to get what you want? Do you continuously find yourself thinking, “I should have done that differently?” (Knowing that NOBODY likes to be “should on?”). Or have you ever found yourself in the midst of what feels like a pretty good day, when one thing goes south and then you feel like your entire day is shot? Welcome to the world of “cognitive distortions.” These negative patterns of thinking are all-to-common, but they lead to increased feelings of anxiety and worry...two feelings that I believe we have enough of already...we certainly don’t need our automatic thought processes piling on as well. In today’s episode, Tony references the article “Challenging Our Cognitive Distortions and Creating Positive Outlooks,” by Dana White, LMHC, from Psychcentral.com https://psychcentral.com/lib/challenging-our-cognitive-distortions-and-creating-positive-outlooks/
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Tony mentioned a product that he used to take out all of the "uh's" and "um's" that, in his words, "must be created by wizards and magic!" because it's that good! To learn more about Descript click here https://descript.com?lmref=v95myQ
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Please subscribe to The Virtual Couch YouTube channel at https://www.youtube.com/c/TheVirtualCouchPodcast/ and sign up at http://tonyoverbay.com to learn more about Tony’s upcoming “Magnetic Marriage” program!
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Tony's FREE parenting course, “Tips For Parenting Positively Even In the Not So Positive Times” is available NOW. Just go to http://tonyoverbay.com/courses/ and sign up today. This course will help you understand why it can be so difficult to communicate with and understand your children. You’ll learn how to keep your buttons hidden, how to genuinely give praise that will truly build inner wealth in your child, teen, or even in your adult children, and you’ll learn how to move from being “the punisher” to being someone your children will want to go to when they need help.
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This episode of The Virtual Couch is sponsored by http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch With the continuing “sheltering” rules that are spreading across the country PLEASE do not think that you can’t continue or begin therapy now. http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch can put you quickly in touch with licensed mental health professionals who can meet through text, email, or videoconference often as soon as 24-48 hours. And if you use the link http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch you will receive 10% off your first month of services. Please make your own mental health a priority, http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch offers affordable counseling, and they even have sliding scale options if your budget is tight.
-
Tony's new best selling book "He's a Porn Addict...Now What? An Expert and a Former Addict Answer Your Questions" is now available on Kindle. https://amzn.to/38mauBo
-
Tony Overbay, is the co-author of "He's a Porn Addict...Now What? An Expert and a Former Addict Answer Your Questions" now available on Amazon https://amzn.to/33fk0U4. The book debuted in the number 1 spot in the Sexual Health Recovery category and remains there as the time of this record. The book has received numerous positive reviews from professionals in the mental health and recovery fields.
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You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program The Path Back by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to receive updates on upcoming programs, and podcasts.
How can a couple rebuild trust in a marriage? Is gaslighting really as big of a problem as people make it out to be...come on, really? (See what I did there...I was gaslighting!!). And what if I honestly, truly, at my very core believe that I know my spouse better than they do...can I tell them what to do about it? And what is the difference between an impulse, and a compulsion and why is that extremely important when talking about any type of addictive behavior? These questions, and more, are addressed in this question and answer episode. If you have questions for a future episode of The Virtual Couch, please visit http://tonyoverbay.com and submit your question through the contact link.
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Tony mentioned a product that he used to take out all of the "uh's" and "um's" that, in his words, "must be created by wizards and magic!" because it's that good! To learn more about Descript click here https://descript.com?lmref=v95myQ
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Please subscribe to The Virtual Couch YouTube channel at https://www.youtube.com/c/TheVirtualCouchPodcast/ and sign up at http://tonyoverbay.com to learn more about Tony’s upcoming “Magnetic Marriage” program!
-
Tony's FREE parenting course, “Tips For Parenting Positively Even In the Not So Positive Times” is available NOW. Just go to http://tonyoverbay.com/courses/ and sign up today. This course will help you understand why it can be so difficult to communicate with and understand your children. You’ll learn how to keep your buttons hidden, how to genuinely give praise that will truly build inner wealth in your child, teen, or even in your adult children, and you’ll learn how to move from being “the punisher” to being someone your children will want to go to when they need help.
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This episode of The Virtual Couch is sponsored by http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch With the continuing “sheltering” rules that are spreading across the country PLEASE do not think that you can’t continue or begin therapy now. http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch can put you quickly in touch with licensed mental health professionals who can meet through text, email, or videoconference often as soon as 24-48 hours. And if you use the link http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch you will receive 10% off your first month of services. Please make your own mental health a priority, http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch offers affordable counseling, and they even have sliding scale options if your budget is tight.
-
Tony's new best selling book "He's a Porn Addict...Now What? An Expert and a Former Addict Answer Your Questions" is now available on Kindle. https://amzn.to/38mauBo
-
Tony Overbay, is the co-author of "He's a Porn Addict...Now What? An Expert and a Former Addict Answer Your Questions" now available on Amazon https://amzn.to/33fk0U4. The book debuted in the number 1 spot in the Sexual Health Recovery category and remains there as the time of this record. The book has received numerous positive reviews from professionals in the mental health and recovery fields.
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You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program The Path Back by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to receive updates on upcoming programs, and podcasts.
In this special BONUS episode, and in preparation for the coming announcement of Tony's upcoming Magnetic Marriage communication course, he tackles the frequently referenced but rarely understood 5 Love Languages. Back in 1995, Ph.D. and Marriage Therapist Gary Chapman released a book called "The Five Love Languages: How to Express Heartfelt Commitment to Your Mate." In the book, Chapman outlines five ways to express and experience love. These 5 love languages are: receiving gifts, quality time, words of affirmation, acts of service (devotion), and physical touch. For many couples, reading about, and discovering their partner's love language (and their own) is one of the first steps toward trying to repair a damaged relationship. For newlyweds, this can be a very important foundational principle for a healthy marriage. In this episode, Tony explores each one of the love languages as well as how understanding them can benefit you and your partner.
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Please subscribe to The Virtual Couch YouTube channel at https://www.youtube.com/c/TheVirtualCouchPodcast/ and sign up at http://tonyoverbay.com to learn more about Tony’s upcoming “Magnetic Marriage” program!
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Tony's FREE parenting course, “Tips For Parenting Positively Even In the Not So Positive Times” is available NOW. Just go to http://tonyoverbay.com/courses/ and sign up today. This course will help you understand why it can be so difficult to communicate with and understand your children. You’ll learn how to keep your buttons hidden, how to genuinely give praise that will truly build inner wealth in your child, teen, or even in your adult children, and you’ll learn how to move from being “the punisher” to being someone your children will want to go to when they need help.
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This episode of The Virtual Couch is sponsored by http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch With the continuing “sheltering” rules that are spreading across the country PLEASE do not think that you can’t continue or begin therapy now. http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch can put you quickly in touch with licensed mental health professionals who can meet through text, email, or videoconference often as soon as 24-48 hours. And if you use the link http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch you will receive 10% off your first month of services. Please make your own mental health a priority, http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch offers affordable counseling, and they even have sliding scale options if your budget is tight.
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Tony's new best selling book "He's a Porn Addict...Now What? An Expert and a Former Addict Answer Your Questions" is now available on Kindle. https://amzn.to/38mauBo
-
Tony Overbay, is the co-author of "He's a Porn Addict...Now What? An Expert and a Former Addict Answer Your Questions" now available on Amazon https://amzn.to/33fk0U4. The book debuted in the number 1 spot in the Sexual Health Recovery category and remains there as the time of this record. The book has received numerous positive reviews from professionals in the mental health and recovery fields.
--
You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program The Path Back by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to receive updates on upcoming programs, and podcasts.
Years ago a fascinating study was conducted where two groups of people were randomly assigned some rats. One group was told that their rats were “Maze-bright,” meaning that their rats had been bread to figure out how to get through mazes fast! The other group was told that their rats were “Maze-dull” and that they had just your standard, run-of-the-mill rats. Both groups of people were given 5 days to train their rats to get through a complicated maze. When the two groups of rats were then put to the test, the rats that were deemed “Maze-bright” made it through twice as fast as the “Maze-dull,” rats...despite the fact that there truly wasn’t such a thing as a maze-bright or maze-dull rat! Did the rats “fake it until they made it” or were they privy to what psychologists call the “expectancy effect?”
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Tony takes a look at the article The Expectancy Effect: Improve Performance With This Human Behavior Quirk by Vanessa Van Edwards, national best-selling author of Captivate: The Science of Succeeding with People and a founder of the popular website Science of People. https://www.scienceofpeople.com/expectancy-effect/
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Please subscribe to The Virtual Couch YouTube channel at https://www.youtube.com/c/TheVirtualCouchPodcast/ and sign up at http://tonyoverbay.com to learn more about Tony’s upcoming “Magnetic Marriage” program!
-
Tony's FREE parenting course, “Tips For Parenting Positively Even In the Not So Positive Times” is available NOW. Just go to http://tonyoverbay.com/courses/ and sign up today. This course will help you understand why it can be so difficult to communicate with and understand your children. You’ll learn how to keep your buttons hidden, how to genuinely give praise that will truly build inner wealth in your child, teen, or even in your adult children, and you’ll learn how to move from being “the punisher” to being someone your children will want to go to when they need help.
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This episode of The Virtual Couch is sponsored by http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch With the continuing “sheltering” rules that are spreading across the country PLEASE do not think that you can’t continue or begin therapy now. http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch can put you quickly in touch with licensed mental health professionals who can meet through text, email, or videoconference often as soon as 24-48 hours. And if you use the link http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch you will receive 10% off your first month of services. Please make your own mental health a priority, http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch offers affordable counseling, and they even have sliding scale options if your budget is tight.
-
Tony's new best-selling book "He's a Porn Addict...Now What? An Expert and a Former Addict Answer Your Questions" is now available on Kindle. https://amzn.to/38mauBo
-
Tony Overbay, is the co-author of "He's a Porn Addict...Now What? An Expert and a Former Addict Answer Your Questions" now available on Amazon https://amzn.to/33fk0U4. The book debuted in the number 1 spot in the Sexual Health Recovery category and remains there as the time of this record. The book has received numerous positive reviews from professionals in the mental health and recovery fields.
--
You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program The Path Back by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to receive updates on upcoming programs, and podcasts.
Is self-care self-ish? Or is self-care an absolute necessity in order to put yourself in a position to succeed in any, and we’re talking ANYTHING you want to accomplish in life? Today Tony talks about the “Emotional Baseline” a concept he developed over a decade ago that has helped thousands of people make positive strides toward accomplishing THEIR goals...not the goals placed on this by those in their lives who, bless their hearts, mean well. Tony discusses the origin of the Emotional Baseline theory, what role it plays in overcoming depression, addiction, anxiety, and how to establish self-care strategies based specifically on YOUR life experiences.
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Please subscribe to The Virtual Couch YouTube channel at https://www.youtube.com/c/TheVirtualCouchPodcast/ and sign up at http://tonyoverbay.com to learn more about Tony’s upcoming “Magnetic Marriage” program!
-
Tony's FREE parenting course, “Tips For Parenting Positively Even In the Not So Positive Times” is available NOW. Just go to http://tonyoverbay.com/courses/ and sign up today. This course will help you understand why it can be so difficult to communicate with and understand your children. You’ll learn how to keep your buttons hidden, how to genuinely give praise that will truly build inner wealth in your child, teen, or even in your adult children, and you’ll learn how to move from being “the punisher” to being someone your children will want to go to when they need help.
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This episode of The Virtual Couch is sponsored by http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch With the continuing “sheltering” rules that are spreading across the country PLEASE do not think that you can’t continue or begin therapy now. http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch can put you quickly in touch with licensed mental health professionals who can meet through text, email, or videoconference often as soon as 24-48 hours. And if you use the link http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch you will receive 10% off your first month of services. Please make your own mental health a priority, http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch offers affordable counseling, and they even have sliding scale options if your budget is tight.
-
Tony's new best selling book "He's a Porn Addict...Now What? An Expert and a Former Addict Answer Your Questions" is now available on Kindle. https://amzn.to/38mauBo
-
Tony Overbay, is the co-author of "He's a Porn Addict...Now What? An Expert and a Former Addict Answer Your Questions" now available on Amazon https://amzn.to/33fk0U4. The book debuted in the number 1 spot in the Sexual Health Recovery category and remains there as the time of this record. The book has received numerous positive reviews from professionals in the mental health and recovery fields.
--
You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program The Path Back by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to receive updates on upcoming programs, and podcasts.
Tony tackles the topic of pornography today in a completely strength-based, hold-the-shame, become the person you always wanted to be way. He addresses the age-old question of whether or not pornography addiction is even a diagnosable condition...and better yet, does that matter? Tony shares his views on “the voids” in one’s life that typically lead to the brain wanting to cope, or check-out, by viewing pornography. These voids include the lack of connection in marriage, in parenting, not feeling satisfied in your career, not feeling good about your health, and feeling disconnected with your concept of faith. Tony reads from his book, “He’s a Porn Addict...Now What? An Expert and a Former Addict Answer Your Questions” available through the following links: https://amzn.to/33fk0U4 paperback https://amzn.to/38hRcx3 Kindle version https://amzn.to/2G30PDu Hardcover version
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Please subscribe to The Virtual Couch YouTube channel at https://www.youtube.com/c/TheVirtualCouchPodcast/ and sign up at http://tonyoverbay.com to learn more about Tony’s upcoming “Magnetic Marriage” program!
-
Tony's FREE parenting course, “Tips For Parenting Positively Even In the Not So Positive Times” is available NOW. Just go to http://tonyoverbay.com/courses/ and sign up today. This course will help you understand why it can be so difficult to communicate with and understand your children. You’ll learn how to keep your buttons hidden, how to genuinely give praise that will truly build inner wealth in your child, teen, or even in your adult children, and you’ll learn how to move from being “the punisher” to being someone your children will want to go to when they need help.
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This episode of The Virtual Couch is sponsored by http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch With the continuing “sheltering” rules that are spreading across the country PLEASE do not think that you can’t continue or begin therapy now. http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch can put you quickly in touch with licensed mental health professionals who can meet through text, email, or videoconference often as soon as 24-48 hours. And if you use the link http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch you will receive 10% off your first month of services. Please make your own mental health a priority, http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch offers affordable counseling, and they even have sliding scale options if your budget is tight.
-
Tony's new best selling book "He's a Porn Addict...Now What? An Expert and a Former Addict Answer Your Questions" is now available on Kindle. https://amzn.to/38mauBo
-
Tony Overbay, is the co-author of "He's a Porn Addict...Now What? An Expert and a Former Addict Answer Your Questions" now available on Amazon https://amzn.to/33fk0U4. The book debuted in the number 1 spot in the Sexual Health Recovery category and remains there as the time of this record. The book has received numerous positive reviews from professionals in the mental health and recovery fields.
--
You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program The Path Back by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to receive updates on upcoming programs, and podcasts.
Rachel Nielson, host of the 3 in 30 Takeaways For Mom’s Podcast (https://3in30podcast.com/) and Monica Packer, host of the About Progress Podcast (https://aboutprogress.com/) join Tony to talk podcasting, specifically, what it takes to start your own podcast. Rachel and Monica have created Podcast U, an online course to help teach people how to start and grow impactful podcasts. To learn more about Podcast U please click here https://www.podcastu.co/a/18731/NSZ9J5wB or if you simply want to test the waters by signing up for the free classes that they mention on the podcast, please click here https://www.podcastu.co/a/33963/NSZ9J5wB
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In this episode, Rachel, Monica, and Tony talk about the challenges of starting a podcast, from the inevitable “impostor syndrome” that plagues so many wanna-be podcasters, to the minefield of knowing what equipment to purchase, what to do with the audio files you create, and how to stay consistent with a message that means something to you. They share early struggles, as well as successes and talk about the challenges of booking guests, monetization, and what to do when the guests and/or equipment aren’t cooperating. You can watch this interview on YouTube here https://youtu.be/QoQguqGyOjY (and please take a moment to subscribe to the YouTube channel if you don't mind).
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Please subscribe to The Virtual Couch YouTube channel at https://www.youtube.com/c/TheVirtualCouchPodcast/ and sign up at http://tonyoverbay.com to learn more about Tony’s upcoming “Magnetic Marriage” program!
-
Tony's FREE parenting course, “Tips For Parenting Positively Even In the Not So Positive Times” is available NOW. Just go to http://tonyoverbay.com/courses/ and sign up today. This course will help you understand why it can be so difficult to communicate with and understand your children. You’ll learn how to keep your buttons hidden, how to genuinely give praise that will truly build inner wealth in your child, teen, or even in your adult children, and you’ll learn how to move from being “the punisher” to being someone your children will want to go to when they need help.
-
This episode of The Virtual Couch is sponsored by http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch With the continuing “sheltering” rules that are spreading across the country PLEASE do not think that you can’t continue or begin therapy now. http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch can put you quickly in touch with licensed mental health professionals who can meet through text, email, or videoconference often as soon as 24-48 hours. And if you use the link http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch you will receive 10% off your first month of services. Please make your own mental health a priority, http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch offers affordable counseling, and they even have sliding scale options if your budget is tight.
-
Tony's new best selling book "He's a Porn Addict...Now What? An Expert and a Former Addict Answer Your Questions" is now available on Kindle. https://amzn.to/38mauBo
-
Tony Overbay, is the co-author of "He's a Porn Addict...Now What? An Expert and a Former Addict Answer Your Questions" now available on Amazon https://amzn.to/33fk0U4. The book debuted in the number 1 spot in the Sexual Health Recovery category and remains there as the time of this record. The book has received numerous positive reviews from professionals in the mental health and recovery fields.
--
You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program The Path Back by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to receive updates on upcoming programs, and podcasts.
It’s true that the diagnosis of narcissism is being handed out a bit too liberally, but this toxic personality disorder definitely does exist, with some experts saying that it's clearly becoming more prevalent with each generation. There is a growing body of research that now shows how long-term narcissistic abuse affects the hippocampus, and the amygdala of the brain, areas that regulate memory, and control emotion. And while someone may not be your classic, malicious or malignant narcissist (there are several sub-types of narcissism), even someone with narcissistic tendencies, or “dustings” can do emotional, and physical damage to those they interact with. Tony also gives his 5 tips to surviving narcissistic abuse. Tony refers to the article “Neuroscience: The shocking impact narcissistic abuse has on the brain,” by Lachlan Brown from https://hackspirit.com/3859-2/
Please subscribe to The Virtual Couch YouTube channel at https://www.youtube.com/c/TheVirtualCouchPodcast/ and sign up at http://tonyoverbay.com to learn more about Tony’s upcoming “Magnetic Marriage” program!
-
Tony's FREE parenting course, “Tips For Parenting Positively Even In the Not So Positive Times” is available NOW. Just go to http://tonyoverbay.com/courses/ and sign up today. This course will help you understand why it can be so difficult to communicate with and understand your children. You’ll learn how to keep your buttons hidden, how to genuinely give praise that will truly build inner wealth in your child, teen, or even in your adult children, and you’ll learn how to move from being “the punisher” to being someone your children will want to go to when they need help.
-
This episode of The Virtual Couch is sponsored by http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch With the continuing “sheltering” rules that are spreading across the country PLEASE do not think that you can’t continue or begin therapy now. http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch can put you quickly in touch with licensed mental health professionals who can meet through text, email, or videoconference often as soon as 24-48 hours. And if you use the link http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch you will receive 10% off your first month of services. Please make your own mental health a priority, http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch offers affordable counseling, and they even have sliding scale options if your budget is tight.
-
Tony's new best selling book "He's a Porn Addict...Now What? An Expert and a Former Addict Answer Your Questions" is now available on Kindle. https://amzn.to/38mauBo
-
Tony Overbay, is the co-author of "He's a Porn Addict...Now What? An Expert and a Former Addict Answer Your Questions" now available on Amazon https://amzn.to/33fk0U4. The book debuted in the number 1 spot in the Sexual Health Recovery category and remains there as the time of this record. The book has received numerous positive reviews from professionals in the mental health and recovery fields.
--
You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program The Path Back by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to receive updates on upcoming programs, and podcasts.
It's time to break some old habits and create some new ones...the good kind! Tony covers Richard Jerome's Realsimple.com article "Yes, You Can Kick That Bad Habit!" https://apple.news/AmpZULFi8QkCRuwgWAWaDQQ Are you "addicted" to your phone? Have you ever found yourself mindlessly scrolling through Instagram or Facebook thinking "just 3 more seconds and I'll exit," again and again and again? And how many days does it truly take to create a new habit (hint, it's not 21 days!)? Jerome covers how our habits evolved, how to "hack" the habit center of the brain, and why "white-knuckling" addiction doesn't work.
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Please subscribe to The Virtual Couch YouTube channel at https://www.youtube.com/c/TheVirtualCouchPodcast/ and sign up at http://tonyoverbay.com to learn more about Tony’s upcoming “Magnetic Marriage” program!
Tony's FREE parenting course, “Tips For Parenting Positively Even In the Not So Positive Times” is available NOW. Just go to http://tonyoverbay.com/courses/ and sign up today. This course will help you understand why it can be so difficult to communicate with and understand your children. You’ll learn how to keep your buttons hidden, how to genuinely give praise that will truly build inner wealth in your child, teen, or even in your adult children, and you’ll learn how to move from being “the punisher” to being someone your children will want to go to when they need help.
-
This episode of The Virtual Couch is sponsored by http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch With the continuing “sheltering” rules that are spreading across the country PLEASE do not think that you can’t continue or begin therapy now. http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch can put you quickly in touch with licensed mental health professionals who can meet through text, email, or videoconference often as soon as 24-48 hours. And if you use the link http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch you will receive 10% off your first month of services. Please make your own mental health a priority, http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch offers affordable counseling, and they even have sliding scale options if your budget is tight.
-
Tony's new best selling book "He's a Porn Addict...Now What? An Expert and a Former Addict Answer Your Questions" is now available on Kindle. https://amzn.to/38mauBo
-
Tony Overbay, is the co-author of "He's a Porn Addict...Now What? An Expert and a Former Addict Answer Your Questions" now available on Amazon https://amzn.to/33fk0U4. The book debuted in the number 1 spot in the Sexual Health Recovery category and remains there as the time of this record. The book has received numerous positive reviews from professionals in the mental health and recovery fields.
--
You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program The Path Back by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to receive updates on upcoming programs, and podcasts.
Tony covers items 11 through 14 of his ever-growing list of “Everything I Know,” aka all of the things he’s learned from the therapist’s chair. In today’s episode he covers: If you’re going to say yes to someone, then say yes enthusiastically...don’t play the martyr, “well, I guess you can go with your friend, but I’m not happy about it!” Playing the martyr does nothing to improve the relationship, but it definitely pushes those around us away! Learn to “drop the rope of the tug-of-war with unproductive people, thoughts, and even stories that your own brain is telling you. One of the most powerful ways to disengage from unproductive thoughts, conversations, and people is to simply step back and say, “huh, I’ll have to give that some thought?” Wish others well, it’s that simple...while we mourn with those who mourn, we can also rejoice with those who are rejoicing! And finally, things aren’t typically as bad as you think...go to the party, drop something off at your neighbors...Tony goes in depth with his understanding of how the brain simply wants to relax and expend as little energy as possible in hopes of living forever...bless your brains little, pink, squishy heart!
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Please subscribe to The Virtual Couch YouTube channel at https://www.youtube.com/c/TheVirtualCouchPodcast/ and sign up at http://tonyoverbay.com to learn more about Tony’s upcoming “Magnetic Marriage” program!
Tony's FREE parenting course, “Tips For Parenting Positively Even In the Not So Positive Times” is available NOW. Just go to http://tonyoverbay.com/courses/ and sign up today. This course will help you understand why it can be so difficult to communicate with and understand your children. You’ll learn how to keep your buttons hidden, how to genuinely give praise that will truly build inner wealth in your child, teen, or even in your adult children, and you’ll learn how to move from being “the punisher” to being someone your children will want to go to when they need help.
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This episode of The Virtual Couch is sponsored by Betterhelp.com/virtualcouch With the continuing “sheltering” rules that are spreading across the country PLEASE do not think that you can’t continue or begin therapy now. Betterhelp.com/virtualcouch can put you quickly in touch with licensed mental health professionals who can meet through text, email, or videoconference often as soon as 24-48 hours. And if you use the link http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch you will receive 10% off your first month of services. Please make your own mental health a priority, http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch offers affordable counseling, and they even have sliding scale options if your budget is tight.
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Tony's new best selling book "He's a Porn Addict...Now What? An Expert and a Former Addict Answer Your Questions" is now available on Kindle. https://amzn.to/38mauBo
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Tony Overbay, is the co-author of "He's a Porn Addict...Now What? An Expert and a Former Addict Answer Your Questions" now available on Amazon https://amzn.to/33fk0U4. The book debuted in the number 1 spot in the Sexual Health Recovery category and remains there as the time of this record. The book has received numerous positive reviews from professionals in the mental health and recovery fields.
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You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program The Path Back by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to receive updates on upcoming programs, and podcasts.
Tony welcomes Julie Lee, author of “I See You” back to The Virtual Couch. Julie talks about the surprising series of events that led to the writing of her book, “I See You” and discussed the challenges of completing the book while the world turned upside down through quarantine and the uncertainty of the pandemic. Julie talks about why interacting with, and truly seeing those around you is so important for not only the mental health of the individual but also for the collective mental health of society. Julie and Tony talk about a touching moment during Julie’s first appearance on the Virtual Couch where they talked about how important it is for people to feel seen and understood before getting to a point where they begin to feel hopeless. Julie’s book is available now on Amazon https://amzn.to/33N957S or you can purchase directly through Julie’s publisher here https://www.cedarfort.com/collections/julie-lee-collection use coupon code PRE15 for 15% off (and I personally purchased the version with the I See You bracelet!). You can also learn more about Julie including her podcast, I See You at http://julieleespeaks.com
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Tony’s new website is live! Please go to http://tonyoverbay.com now and sign up for the newsletter to be the first to hear of his upcoming Magnet Marriage course!
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Tony's FREE parenting course, “Tips For Parenting Positively Even In the Not So Positive Times” is available NOW. Just go to http://tonyoverbay.com/courses/ and sign up today. This course will help you understand why it can be so difficult to communicate with and understand your children. You’ll learn how to keep your buttons hidden, how to genuinely give praise that will truly build inner wealth in your child, teen, or even in your adult children, and you’ll learn how to move from being “the punisher” to being someone your children will want to go to when they need help. And Tony is so confident that this program will work, that he's offering a money-back guarantee!
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This episode of The Virtual Couch is sponsored by Betterhelp.com/virtualcouch With the continuing “sheltering” rules that are spreading across the country PLEASE do not think that you can’t continue or begin therapy now. Betterhelp.com/virtualcouch can put you quickly in touch with licensed mental health professionals who can meet through text, email, or videoconference often as soon as 24-48 hours. And if you use the link http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch you will receive 10% off your first month of services. Please make your own mental health a priority, http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch offers affordable counseling, and they even have sliding scale options if your budget is tight.
-
Tony's new best selling book "He's a Porn Addict...Now What? An Expert and a Former Addict Answer Your Questions" is now available on Kindle. https://amzn.to/38mauBo
-
Tony Overbay, is the co-author of "He's a Porn Addict...Now What? An Expert and a Former Addict Answer Your Questions" now available on Amazon https://amzn.to/33fk0U4. The book debuted in the number 1 spot in the Sexual Health Recovery category and remains there as the time of this record. The book has received numerous positive reviews from professionals in the mental health and recovery fields.
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You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program The Path Back by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to receive updates on upcoming programs, and podcasts.
Tony interviews Leonard, a former inmate, and medical professional, who was recently released from jail where he learned a tremendous amount of information on how to protect our children from the dangers of human trafficking. While in jail, Leonard, a father himself, learned from people imprisoned for the crimes of human trafficking, about the specifics of who and how they target through social media, from Facebook and Instagram to Kik and Snapchat. Leonard wanted to share the information that he learned in an effort to help spread the word about how many unsuspecting teens are being groomed, sometimes right underneath their parents seemingly watchful eyes, by very intentional, manipulative, organized individuals who pose as peers leading, at times, to ultimately devastating consequences. In the episode Tony mentioned the organization Stand Up Placer (www.standupplacer.org/) If you are a victim of Human Trafficking, or believe you may be involved in a potential Human Trafficking situation, please call the National Human Trafficking Hotline at (888) 373-7888 or you can visit humantraffickinghotline.org/ You can also find information there if you are interested in learning more about how you can help fight Human Trafficking.
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Tony's FREE parenting course, “Tips For Parenting Positively Even In the Not So Positive Times” is available NOW. Just go to http://tonyoverbay.com/courses/ and sign up today. This course will help you understand why it can be so difficult to communicate with and understand your children. You’ll learn how to keep your buttons hidden, how to genuinely give praise that will truly build inner wealth in your child, teen, or even in your adult children, and you’ll learn how to move from being “the punisher” to being someone your children will want to go to when they need help. And Tony is so confident that this program will work, that he's offering a money-back guarantee!
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This episode of The Virtual Couch is sponsored by Betterhelp.com/virtualcouch With the continuing “sheltering” rules that are spreading across the country PLEASE do not think that you can’t continue or begin therapy now. Betterhelp.com/virtualcouch can put you quickly in touch with licensed mental health professionals who can meet through text, email, or videoconference often as soon as 24-48 hours. And if you use the link http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch you will receive 10% off your first month of services. Please make your own mental health a priority, http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch offers affordable counseling, and they even have sliding scale options if your budget is tight.
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Tony's new best selling book "He's a Porn Addict...Now What? An Expert and a Former Addict Answer Your Questions" is now available on Kindle. https://amzn.to/38mauBo
-
Tony Overbay, is the co-author of "He's a Porn Addict...Now What? An Expert and a Former Addict Answer Your Questions" now available on Amazon https://amzn.to/33fk0U4. The book debuted in the number 1 spot in the Sexual Health Recovery category and remains there as the time of this record. The book has received numerous positive reviews from professionals in the mental health and recovery fields.
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You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program The Path Back by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to receive updates on upcoming programs, and podcasts.
Tony covers 7 through 10 of his ever-growing list of “Everything I Know,” aka all of the things he’s learned from his therapist’s chair. In today’s episode he covers: Let’s assume that people don’t wake up and think “What can I do today to hurt my partner?” Working from that assumption, you’re in a much better position to see that person with empathy, instead of from the depths of your bunker. Also, “to be heard is to be healed,” we all want to know that we matter to someone, that they are there for us, that somebody has our backs. And finally, nobody likes to be “should on,” including our own brains (which is why telling yourself NOT to think about a pink elephant with wings...wearing a tutu causes you to do the exact opposite...you’re thinking about it right now aren’t you!?). Tony also tells the “story of two couples,” both come to therapy after traumatic events and one year later how different each couple looks based on the work that they did over the past year.
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Tony's FREE parenting course, “Tips For Parenting Positively Even In the Not So Positive Times” is available NOW. Just go to http://tonyoverbay.com/courses/ and sign up today. This course will help you understand why it can be so difficult to communicate with and understand your children. You’ll learn how to keep your buttons hidden, how to genuinely give praise that will truly build inner wealth in your child, teen, or even in your adult children, and you’ll learn how to move from being “the punisher” to being someone your children will want to go to when they need help. And Tony is so confident that this program will work, that he's offering a money-back guarantee!
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This episode of The Virtual Couch is sponsored by Betterhelp.com/virtualcouch With the continuing “sheltering” rules that are spreading across the country PLEASE do not think that you can’t continue or begin therapy now. Betterhelp.com/virtualcouch can put you quickly in touch with licensed mental health professionals who can meet through text, email, or videoconference often as soon as 24-48 hours. And if you use the link http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch you will receive 10% off your first month of services. Please make your own mental health a priority, http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch offers affordable counseling, and they even have sliding scale options if your budget is tight.
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Tony's new best selling book "He's a Porn Addict...Now What? An Expert and a Former Addict Answer Your Questions" is now available on Kindle. https://amzn.to/38mauBo
-
Tony Overbay, is the co-author of "He's a Porn Addict...Now What? An Expert and a Former Addict Answer Your Questions" now available on Amazon https://amzn.to/33fk0U4. The book debuted in the number 1 spot in the Sexual Health Recovery category and remains there as the time of this record. The book has received numerous positive reviews from professionals in the mental health and recovery fields.
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You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program The Path Back by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to receive updates on upcoming programs, and podcasts.
Tony covers items 1 through 6 of his ever-growing list of “Everything I Know,” aka all of the things he’s learned from his therapist’s chair. In today’s episode he covers: What if you’re NOT broken (ACT vs CBT), You’re the only version of YOU so far on the Earth (at least as far as you know), Why it is imperative to seek first to understand before being understood (and who said that Paul of New Testament times, or Stephen Covey?), Is “Pure Empathy” attainable? And why it is so important to own your own...stuff, life, shiz-am, truth, actions, or d) all of the above?
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Tony's FREE parenting course, “Tips For Parenting Positively Even In the Not So Positive Times” is available NOW. Just go to http://tonyoverbay.com/courses/ and sign up today. This course will help you understand why it can be so difficult to communicate with and understand your children. You’ll learn how to keep your buttons hidden, how to genuinely give praise that will truly build inner wealth in your child, teen, or even in your adult children, and you’ll learn how to move from being “the punisher” to being someone your children will want to go to when they need help. And Tony is so confident that this program will work, that he's offering a money-back guarantee!
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This episode of The Virtual Couch is sponsored by Betterhelp.com/virtualcouch With the continuing “sheltering” rules that are spreading across the country PLEASE do not think that you can’t continue or begin therapy now. Betterhelp.com/virtualcouch can put you quickly in touch with licensed mental health professionals who can meet through text, email, or videoconference often as soon as 24-48 hours. And if you use the link http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch you will receive 10% off your first month of services. Please make your own mental health a priority, http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch offers affordable counseling, and they even have sliding scale options if your budget is tight.
-
Tony's new best selling book "He's a Porn Addict...Now What? An Expert and a Former Addict Answer Your Questions" is now available on Kindle. https://amzn.to/38mauBo
-
Tony Overbay, is the co-author of "He's a Porn Addict...Now What? An Expert and a Former Addict Answer Your Questions" now available on Amazon https://amzn.to/33fk0U4. The book debuted in the number 1 spot in the Sexual Health Recovery category and remains there as the time of this record. The book has received numerous positive reviews from professionals in the mental health and recovery fields.
--
You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program The Path Back by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to receive updates on upcoming programs, and podcasts.
Don’t you know that breaking up, is, hard to do? Hopefully you were singing that to the tune of the Neal Sedaka hit of the same name that was first released in 1960? And Sedaka wasn’t the first to use the phrase to express just how difficult it can be to move on not only from a relationship that has simply grown apart, but even from a relationship that many would view as toxic, or trauma bonded. In this episode Tony shares why it can be so hard to move on from a relationship and what one can do to make the process easier. Tony refers to the TED Talk “How to Fix a Broken Heart” by psychologist Guy Winch https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k0GQSJrpVhM
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Tony's FREE parenting course, “Tips For Parenting Positively Even In the Not So Positive Times” is available NOW. Just go to http://tonyoverbay.com/courses/ and sign up today. This course will help you understand why it can be so difficult to communicate with and understand your children. You’ll learn how to keep your buttons hidden, how to genuinely give praise that will truly build inner wealth in your child, teen, or even in your adult children, and you’ll learn how to move from being “the punisher” to being someone your children will want to go to when they need help. And Tony is so confident that this program will work, that he's offering a money-back guarantee!
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This episode of The Virtual Couch is sponsored by Betterhelp.com/virtualcouch With the continuing “sheltering” rules that are spreading across the country PLEASE do not think that you can’t continue or begin therapy now. Betterhelp.com/virtualcouch can put you quickly in touch with licensed mental health professionals who can meet through text, email, or videoconference often as soon as 24-48 hours. And if you use the link http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch you will receive 10% off your first month of services. Please make your own mental health a priority, http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch offers affordable counseling, and they even have sliding scale options if your budget is tight.
-
Tony's new best selling book "He's a Porn Addict...Now What? An Expert and a Former Addict Answer Your Questions" is now available on Kindle. https://amzn.to/38mauBo
-
Tony Overbay, is the co-author of "He's a Porn Addict...Now What? An Expert and a Former Addict Answer Your Questions" now available on Amazon https://amzn.to/33fk0U4. The book debuted in the number 1 spot in the Sexual Health Recovery category and remains there as the time of this record. The book has received numerous positive reviews from professionals in the mental health and recovery fields.
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You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program The Path Back by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to receive updates on upcoming programs, and podcasts.
What do you say when somebody turns to you in their time of need? It may sound simple, but in reality, there’s a chance that your thoughts and phrases of support may leave someone feeling unheard and even more alone. In today’s episode, Tony shares how to truly listen, and be there for somebody who has recently gone through a traumatic event...from learning of a spouses infidelity to losing a loved one, or a job, the ability to truly listen, and empathize will go a long way toward helping one heal, as well as strengthening your bond with the person who initially turned to you for help. Tony references Jessi Beyer’s article “Things NOT to Say to Someone…” https://jessibeyerinternational.com/things-not-to-say-trauma-healing/
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Tony's FREE parenting course, “Tips For Parenting Positively Even In the Not So Positive Times” is available NOW. Just go to http://tonyoverbay.com/courses/ and sign up today. This course will help you understand why it can be so difficult to communicate with and understand your children. You’ll learn how to keep your buttons hidden, how to genuinely give praise that will truly build inner wealth in your child, teen, or even in your adult children, and you’ll learn how to move from being “the punisher” to being someone your children will want to go to when they need help. And Tony is so confident that this program will work, that he's offering a money-back guarantee!
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This episode of The Virtual Couch is sponsored by Betterhelp.com/virtualcouch With the continuing “sheltering” rules that are spreading across the country PLEASE do not think that you can’t continue or begin therapy now. Betterhelp.com/virtualcouch can put you quickly in touch with licensed mental health professionals who can meet through text, email, or videoconference often as soon as 24-48 hours. And if you use the link http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch you will receive 10% off your first month of services. Please make your own mental health a priority, http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch offers affordable counseling, and they even have sliding scale options if your budget is tight.
-
Tony's new best selling book "He's a Porn Addict...Now What? An Expert and a Former Addict Answer Your Questions" is now available on Kindle. https://amzn.to/38mauBo
-
Tony Overbay, is the co-author of "He's a Porn Addict...Now What? An Expert and a Former Addict Answer Your Questions" now available on Amazon https://amzn.to/33fk0U4. The book debuted in the number 1 spot in the Sexual Health Recovery category and remains there as the time of this record. The book has received numerous positive reviews from professionals in the mental health and recovery fields.
--
You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program The Path Back by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to receive updates on upcoming programs, and podcasts.
Tony reviews the life-changing book The Body Keeps the Score, by Bessel van der Kolk M.D. https://amzn.to/2VUcMEd “Trauma is a fact of life…one in five Americans has been molested; one in four grew up with alcoholics; one in three couples have engaged in physical violence. Dr. Bessel van der Kolk, one of the world’s foremost experts on trauma, has spent over three decades working with survivors. In The Body Keeps the Score, he uses recent scientific advances to show how trauma literally reshapes both body and brain, compromising sufferers’ capacities for pleasure, engagement, self-control, and trust.” In part 1 of many episodes on the subject, Tony talks in depth about what trauma is, how it effects our attachment styles and kids, and how that can complicate our lives, and relationships as adults.
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Tony's FREE parenting course, “Tips For Parenting Positively Even In the Not So Positive Times” is available NOW. Just go to http://tonyoverbay.com/courses/ and sign up today. This course will help you understand why it can be so difficult to communicate with and understand your children. You’ll learn how to keep your buttons hidden, how to genuinely give praise that will truly build inner wealth in your child, teen, or even in your adult children, and you’ll learn how to move from being “the punisher” to being someone your children will want to go to when they need help. And Tony is so confident that this program will work, that he's offering a money-back guarantee!
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This episode of The Virtual Couch is sponsored by Betterhelp.com/virtualcouch With the continuing “sheltering” rules that are spreading across the country PLEASE do not think that you can’t continue or begin therapy now. Betterhelp.com/virtualcouch can put you quickly in touch with licensed mental health professionals who can meet through text, email, or videoconference often as soon as 24-48 hours. And if you use the link http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch you will receive 10% off your first month of services. Please make your own mental health a priority, http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch offers affordable counseling, and they even have sliding scale options if your budget is tight.
-
Tony's new best selling book "He's a Porn Addict...Now What? An Expert and a Former Addict Answer Your Questions" is now available on Kindle. https://amzn.to/38mauBo
-
Tony Overbay, is the co-author of "He's a Porn Addict...Now What? An Expert and a Former Addict Answer Your Questions" now available on Amazon https://amzn.to/33fk0U4. The book debuted in the number 1 spot in the Sexual Health Recovery category and remains there as the time of this record. The book has received numerous positive reviews from professionals in the mental health and recovery fields.
--
You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program The Path Back by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to receive updates on upcoming programs, and podcasts.
Anger, sadness, frustration, fear, loneliness…any one of these emotions can cause one to feel off their game to the point that they may start singing the familiar, yet destructive “what’s wrong with me?” tune. Even more profound is the old saying “You will not be punished for your (fill in any of the emotions above), you will be punished by your (fill in the same emotion).” So what is one supposed to do with emotions that can cause so much pain, and destruction? The answer is actually quite simple...acknowledge them, “hey fear, I see you, how are you doing? You’re welcome to come along with me while I get some things done...I’m tired of fighting with you, so we’re going to try something different!” And that is what we call expansion, or making room for our emotions. Studies show that learning how to make room for our emotions, learning how to “drop the rope of the tug-of-war” with our emotions is a FAR more effective way to deal with them and can lead to greater joy and happiness.
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In this episode, you’ll learn more about the practice of expansion, or making room for your feelings, from the book The Confidence Gap, by Russ Harris https://amzn.to/2z0SjW1
The Confidence Gap is a fantastic book that clearly and easily teaches the concepts of Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT).
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Tony's FREE parenting course, “Tips For Parenting Positively Even In the Not So Positive Times” is available NOW. Just go to http://tonyoverbay.com/courses/ and sign up today. This course will help you understand why it can be so difficult to communicate with and understand your children. You’ll learn how to keep your buttons hidden, how to genuinely give praise that will truly build inner wealth in your child, teen, or even in your adult children, and you’ll learn how to move from being “the punisher” to being someone your children will want to go to when they need help. And Tony is so confident that this program will work, that he's offering a money-back guarantee!
-
This episode of The Virtual Couch is sponsored by Betterhelp.com/virtualcouch With the continuing “sheltering” rules that are spreading across the country PLEASE do not think that you can’t continue or begin therapy now. Betterhelp.com/virtualcouch can put you quickly in touch with licensed mental health professionals who can meet through text, email, or videoconference often as soon as 24-48 hours. And if you use the link http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch you will receive 10% off your first month of services. Please make your own mental health a priority, http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch offers affordable counseling, and they even have sliding scale options if your budget is tight.
-
Tony's new best selling book "He's a Porn Addict...Now What? An Expert and a Former Addict Answer Your Questions" is now available on Kindle. https://amzn.to/38mauBo
-
Tony Overbay, is the co-author of "He's a Porn Addict...Now What? An Expert and a Former Addict Answer Your Questions" now available on Amazon https://amzn.to/33fk0U4. The book debuted in the number 1 spot in the Sexual Health Recovery category and remains there as the time of this record. The book has received numerous positive reviews from professionals in the mental health and recovery fields.
--
You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program The Path Back by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to receive updates on upcoming programs, and podcasts.
Take a quick look around your room, your office, or even your car. What do you see? Do you find yourself staring at the same piles of paper, or half-completed projects that you've been working around for days weeks or even months? Do you feel a constant "low key" feeling of anxiety when you're in a messy room? And what if company suddenly decides to stop by? Do you panic, or party? If you’re feeling even a tiny bit of stress even thinking about the areas of your life where there may be an excessive amount of clutter, you’re not alone. In this episode, Tony references the article “A Cluttered House is a Cluttered Mind,” by Erin Cullum, as well as the article “Why Mess Causes Stress: 8 Reasons, 8 Remedies,” by Sherrie Bourg Carter Psy.D. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/high-octane-women/201203/why-mess-causes-stress-8-reasons-8-remedies
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Tony also references the article “No Place Like Home: Home Tours Correlate With Daily Patterns of Mood and Cortisol” by Saxbe and Repetti https://undecidedthebook.files.wordpress.com/2012/07/saxbe-repetti-pspb-2010.pdf
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Tony's interview on Shawn Rapier’s Latter-Day Lives can be found here https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/latter-day-lives-talking-with-latter-day-saints/id1262984796?i=1000479049886
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Tony's FREE parenting course, “Tips For Parenting Positively Even In the Not So Positive Times” is available NOW. Just go to http://tonyoverbay.com/courses/ and sign up today. This course will help you understand why it can be so difficult to communicate with and understand your children. You’ll learn how to keep your buttons hidden, how to genuinely give praise that will truly build inner wealth in your child, teen, or even in your adult children, and you’ll learn how to move from being “the punisher” to being someone your children will want to go to when they need help. And Tony is so confident that this program will work, that he's offering a money-back guarantee!
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This episode of The Virtual Couch is sponsored by Betterhelp.com/virtualcouch With the continuing “sheltering” rules that are spreading across the country PLEASE do not think that you can’t continue or begin therapy now. Betterhelp.com/virtualcouch can put you quickly in touch with licensed mental health professionals who can meet through text, email, or videoconference often as soon as 24-48 hours. And if you use the link http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch you will receive 10% off your first month of services. Please make your own mental health a priority, http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch offers affordable counseling, and they even have sliding scale options if your budget is tight.
-
Tony's new best selling book "He's a Porn Addict...Now What? An Expert and a Former Addict Answer Your Questions" is now available on Kindle. https://amzn.to/38mauBo
-
Tony Overbay, is the co-author of "He's a Porn Addict...Now What? An Expert and a Former Addict Answer Your Questions" now available on Amazon https://amzn.to/33fk0U4. The book debuted in the number 1 spot in the Sexual Health Recovery category and remains there as the time of this record. The book has received numerous positive reviews from professionals in the mental health and recovery fields.
--
You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program The Path Back by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to receive updates on upcoming programs, and podcasts.
For most of us, we will do almost anything to avoid drama, even to the detriment of our personal and professional relationships. Yet at times, even the most mindful person may find themselves feeling like a victim who has no voice. While on other occasions, when seeing someone being picked on, we may attempt to rescue someone in that same victim role. And even crazier still, we may occasionally find ourselves trying to teach, or lecture or punish those who we feel are playing the role of the martyr, or victim. Stephen Karpman, M.D. identified these three roles, The Victim, The Persecutor, and The Rescuer, as part of what has become known as the “Karpman Drama Triangle.” Understand the drama triangle can not only help you recognize the negative roles that we tend to gravitate to in strong, emotion-filled interactions, aka “drama,” but also how to get out of these unhealthy situations.
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Tony references a wonderful summary of the Karpman Drama Triangle by Linda Graham, MFT which can be found here https://lindagraham-mft.net/triangle-victim-rescuer-persecutor-get/ And for more information on Transactional Analysis (mentioned in the episode) click here https://www.counselling-directory.org.uk/transactional-analysis.html
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Tony's FREE parenting course, “Tips For Parenting Positively Even In the Not So Positive Times” is available NOW. Just go to http://tonyoverbay.com/courses/ and sign up today. This course will help you understand why it can be so difficult to communicate with and understand your children. You’ll learn how to keep your buttons hidden, how to genuinely give praise that will truly build inner wealth in your child, teen, or even in your adult children, and you’ll learn how to move from being “the punisher” to being someone your children will want to go to when they need help. And Tony is so confident that this program will work, that he's offering a money-back guarantee!
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This episode of The Virtual Couch is sponsored by Betterhelp.com/virtualcouch With the continuing “sheltering” rules that are spreading across the country PLEASE do not think that you can’t continue or begin therapy now. Betterhelp.com/virtualcouch can put you quickly in touch with licensed mental health professionals who can meet through text, email, or videoconference often as soon as 24-48 hours. And if you use the link http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch you will receive 10% off your first month of services. Please make your own mental health a priority, http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch offers affordable counseling, and they even have sliding scale options if your budget is tight.
-
Tony's new best selling book "He's a Porn Addict...Now What? An Expert and a Former Addict Answer Your Questions" is now available on Kindle. https://amzn.to/38mauBo
-
Tony Overbay, is the co-author of "He's a Porn Addict...Now What? An Expert and a Former Addict Answer Your Questions" now available on Amazon https://amzn.to/33fk0U4. The book debuted in the number 1 spot in the Sexual Health Recovery category and remains there as the time of this record. The book has received numerous positive reviews from professionals in the mental health and recovery fields.
--
You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program The Path Back by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to receive updates on upcoming programs, and podcasts.
Right now we need to be able to listen, empathize and understand our brothers and sisters more than ever...but why can that be so difficult at times? Even when many people stop to listen, why do their brains immediately go to, "yeah, I hear you, but you don't understand my..." Whatever comes after the "but" or "my" in conversations tends to be an "empathy-killer" at a time when we truly need to increase our empathy skills! Welcome to your Ego!
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In today's episode, Tony refers to an article by Mark Leary, Ph.D. Dr. Leary is the Garonzik Family Professor of Psychology and Neuroscience at Duke University and author of The Curse of the Self. In his article What Is The Ego and Why Is It So Involved In My Life https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/toward-less-egoic-world/201905/what-is-the-ego-and-why-is-it-so-involved-in-my-life Dr. Leary does a wonderful job at explaining our egos, and why it can be so difficult to step outside of one's self and truly listen to others. Tony takes Dr. Leary's thoughts on ego and shares some things that you can do immediately after listening to move forward with an increased amount of empathy.
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Tony's FREE parenting course, “Tips For Parenting Positively Even In the Not So Positive Times” is available NOW. Just go to http://tonyoverbay.com/courses/ and sign up today. This course will help you understand why it can be so difficult to communicate with and understand your children. You’ll learn how to keep your buttons hidden, how to genuinely give praise that will truly build inner wealth in your child, teen, or even in your adult children, and you’ll learn how to move from being “the punisher” to being someone your children will want to go to when they need help. And Tony is so confident that this program will work, that he's offering a money-back guarantee!
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This episode of The Virtual Couch is sponsored by Betterhelp.com/virtualcouch With the continuing “sheltering” rules that are spreading across the country PLEASE do not think that you can’t continue or begin therapy now. Betterhelp.com/virtualcouch can put you quickly in touch with licensed mental health professionals who can meet through text, email, or videoconference often as soon as 24-48 hours. And if you use the link http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch you will receive 10% off your first month of services. Please make your own mental health a priority, http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch offers affordable counseling, and they even have sliding scale options if your budget is tight.
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Tony's new best selling book "He's a Porn Addict...Now What? An Expert and a Former Addict Answer Your Questions" is now available on Kindle. https://amzn.to/38mauBo
-
Tony Overbay, is the co-author of "He's a Porn Addict...Now What? An Expert and a Former Addict Answer Your Questions" now available on Amazon https://amzn.to/33fk0U4. The book debuted in the number 1 spot in the Sexual Health Recovery category and remains there as the time of this record. The book has received numerous positive reviews from professionals in the mental health and recovery fields.
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You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program The Path Back by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to receive updates on upcoming programs, and podcasts.
In light of all of the events of the past week surrounding the horrific death of George Floyd and the protests and demands for change that have sprung forth from this senseless tragedy, I found myself contemplating my own views on privilege, race relations, empathy for my fellow brothers and sisters and how our views are formed, how they can change for the better. A large part of my own change has been through my relationship with Coach Charles Gazaway, who I interviewed on The Virtual Couch podcast back in June of 2018.
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In preparation for the episode at that time, I had reached out to the exclusively white parents of the basketball team that Coach Charles had been coaching for a few years at that time. There were wonderful comments from parents about teaching the kids hard work, determination, etc., but there were several comments by parents about Coach teaching that we're all brothers and sisters, and that basketball was a vehicle to bring kids together from all races to work, as one, for a common goal. Coach is the major reason my son now has a very tight, close-knit group of black friends who love him as the brother that he is to them.
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From the episode’s original description “Coach Charles Gazaway is a former professional basketball player from, as he puts it, “the hood, the inner city,” of Oakland. Coach started coaching my son, and a group of “lily white kids” from the suburbs almost 6 years ago and has taught them more about life, and people, through the game of basketball, than I could have ever imagined. A year and a half ago Coach suffered a serious medical setback temporarily losing his sight due to complications of diabetes, but he continued to coach through a kidney and pancreas transplant. He’s an amazing mentor, and role model to not just the kids, but to the parents as well. Coach led his team, in Cinderella-story-like fashion to qualify for the California games in San Diego.” As mentioned in the intro, you’ll hear a reference to donating for a trip to San Diego for the boys...that trip is long gone, but if you would like to donate to a charity of Coach Charles’ choice, you can do so here: PayPal.Me/TheVirtualCouch
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I also reference a wonderful article titled: What Can I Say to an African American Friend as Anger Rises by Terry Porter of the Cleveland Plain Dealer, you can find that article here https://www.cleveland.com/news/2020/06/what-can-i-say-to-an-african-american-friend-as-anger-rises-faith-you.html
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Our original interview in its entirety (with two old sponsors that I believe no longer exist...they were edited out of this new recording) can be viewed on YouTube here https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O0fOAjYhxJw&t=1s
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coach Charles Gazaway #kidneytransplant #pancreastransplant #survivor on #coaching youth, #aaubasketball and on being a #mentor Coach Charles uses #basketball to teach valuable skills on #race and #racerelations to kids. #rolemodel #blacklivesmatter
From her website, http://aboutprogress.com, Monica Packer is a recovering perfectionist, a podcaster, and a Progress Coach. She also has a very successful online program that helps people create their first podcast called Podcast U along with fellow Podcaster and former Virtual Couch guest Rachel Nielson of 3 in 30 Takeaways for Moms. Monica "saves women from themselves, by helping them ditch perfectionism, step into their gifts, and move towards real progress." And while sometimes phrases like these can sound a tad bit ambiguous, just give Monica a few minutes, and you'll be hooked. Monica is one of the most real, authentic people that I've met, and in this interview, she lays all of her baggage out on the table for everybody to see. I guarantee you'll find some challenges that you've most likely struggled with yourself on that table and Monica will help you understand what to do to start to deal with that baggage and move forward in a healthy, empowering way.
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Monica discusses her struggles with perfectionism, anxiety, depression, an eating disorder, and her constant battle with impostor syndrome as she strives to help people take a look in the mirror and not only own their own lives but understand that it's OK to find yourself far from perfect. You can find Tony's encore episode on Monica's About Progress podcast here https://aboutprogress.com/how-to-stop-hating-yourself/
Tony's FREE parenting course, “Tips For Parenting Positively Even In the Not So Positive Times” is available NOW. Just go to http://tonyoverbay.com/courses/ and sign up today. This course will help you understand why it can be so difficult to communicate with and understand your children. You’ll learn how to keep your buttons hidden, how to genuinely give praise that will truly build inner wealth in your child, teen, or even in your adult children, and you’ll learn how to move from being “the punisher” to being someone your children will want to go to when they need help. And Tony is so confident that this program will work, that he's offering a money-back guarantee!
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This episode of The Virtual Couch is sponsored by Betterhelp.com/virtualcouch With the continuing “sheltering” rules that are spreading across the country PLEASE do not think that you can’t continue or begin therapy now. Betterhelp.com/virtualcouch can put you quickly in touch with licensed mental health professionals who can meet through text, email, or videoconference often as soon as 24-48 hours. And if you use the link http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch you will receive 10% off your first month of services. Please make your own mental health a priority, http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch offers affordable counseling, and they even have sliding scale options if your budget is tight.
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Tony's new best selling book "He's a Porn Addict...Now What? An Expert and a Former Addict Answer Your Questions" is now available on Kindle. https://amzn.to/38mauBo
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Tony Overbay, is the co-author of "He's a Porn Addict...Now What? An Expert and a Former Addict Answer Your Questions" now available on Amazon https://amzn.to/33fk0U4. The book debuted in the number 1 spot in the Sexual Health Recovery category and remains there as the time of this record. The book has received numerous positive reviews from professionals in the mental health and recovery fields.
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You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program The Path Back by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to receive updates on upcoming programs, and podcasts.
In the 1980s James Fowler, Professor of Theology and Human Development at Emory University and director of both the Center for Research on Faith and Moral Development and the Center for Ethics wrote a book called Stages of Faith. Fowler’s work compared the stages that one may go on in their faith journey, transition, or crisis with the stages of cognitive and moral development proposed by noted Psychologists Jean Piaget and Lawrence Kohlberg. Fowler’s work has resonated with many people who find themselves feeling lost, abandoned, or angry at their faith communities as they begin to develop their own sense of self as they gradually mature into adulthood.
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Tony began working with Fowler’s stages of faith over a decade ago in helping people with their own faith journeys and quickly found himself seeing one client a week going through the process to several a week to now several each day. In this episode, Tony shares his thoughts on how Fowler’s stages of faith can easily be applied as “stages of life,” ultimately helping people recognize that there truly isn’t anything broken, or wrong with them because of their beliefs, and the sooner one can recognize where their own belief system, values, and goals come from the sooner these same beliefs, values, and goals can become embraced and life can truly be lived from a more authentic, empowered state!
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Tony's FREE parenting course, “Tips For Parenting Positively Even In the Not So Positive Times” is available NOW. Just go to http://tonyoverbay.com/courses/ and sign up today. This course will help you understand why it can be so difficult to communicate with and understand your children. You’ll learn how to keep your buttons hidden, how to genuinely give praise that will truly build inner wealth in your child, teen, or even in your adult children, and you’ll learn how to move from being “the punisher” to being someone your children will want to go to when they need help. And Tony is so confident that this program will work, that he's offering a money-back guarantee!
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This episode of The Virtual Couch is sponsored by Betterhelp.com/virtualcouch With the continuing “sheltering” rules that are spreading across the country PLEASE do not think that you can’t continue or begin therapy now. Betterhelp.com/virtualcouch can put you quickly in touch with licensed mental health professionals who can meet through text, email, or videoconference often as soon as 24-48 hours. And if you use the link http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch you will receive 10% off your first month of services. Please make your own mental health a priority, http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch offers affordable counseling, and they even have sliding scale options if your budget is tight.
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Tony's new best selling book "He's a Porn Addict...Now What? An Expert and a Former Addict Answer Your Questions" is now available on Kindle. https://amzn.to/38mauBo
-
Tony Overbay, is the co-author of "He's a Porn Addict...Now What? An Expert and a Former Addict Answer Your Questions" now available on Amazon https://amzn.to/33fk0U4. The book debuted in the number 1 spot in the Sexual Health Recovery category and remains there as the time of this record. The book has received numerous positive reviews from professionals in the mental health and recovery fields.
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You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program The Path Back by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to receive updates on upcoming programs, and podcasts.
No one likes to feel bad...or sad, or afraid or anxious or uncertain, or so many other uncomfortable feelings. And what do you do when you start thinking unproductive thoughts? Sure, you can tell yourself to “just stop thinking about them!” But what happens when your mind seems to, well, have a mind of its own? In today’s episode, Tony tackles a chapter in Russ Harris’ book The Confidence Gap https://amzn.to/2z0SjW1 called “The Fear Trap,” and answers the question “what is fear?” And what we can do when strong emotions cause us to turn to unhealthy substances (drugs, alcohol, compulsive sexual behaviors, gambling) go into autopilot mode (at the mercy of our emotions), avoidance mode (do whatever we can to avoid unpleasant feelings), distraction, thinking strategies (just don’t worry about it, think happy thoughts!) or opting out of situations entirely?
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Tony's FREE parenting course, “Tips For Parenting Positively Even In the Not So Positive Times” is available NOW. Just go to http://tonyoverbay.com/courses/ and sign up today. This course will help you understand why it can be so difficult to communicate with and understand your children. You’ll learn how to keep your buttons hidden, how to genuinely give praise that will truly build inner wealth in your child, teen, or even in your adult children, and you’ll learn how to move from being “the punisher” to being someone your children will want to go to when they need help. And Tony is so confident that this program will work, that he's offering a money-back guarantee!
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This episode of The Virtual Couch is sponsored by Betterhelp.com/virtualcouch With the continuing “sheltering” rules that are spreading across the country PLEASE do not think that you can’t continue or begin therapy now. Betterhelp.com/virtualcouch can put you quickly in touch with licensed mental health professionals who can meet through text, email, or videoconference often as soon as 24-48 hours. And if you use the link http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch you will receive 10% off your first month of services. Please make your own mental health a priority, http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch offers affordable counseling, and they even have sliding scale options if your budget is tight.
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Tony's new best selling book "He's a Porn Addict...Now What? An Expert and a Former Addict Answer Your Questions" is now available on Kindle. https://amzn.to/38mauBo
-
Tony Overbay, is the co-author of "He's a Porn Addict...Now What? An Expert and a Former Addict Answer Your Questions" now available on Amazon https://amzn.to/33fk0U4. The book debuted in the number 1 spot in the Sexual Health Recovery category and remains there as the time of this record. The book has received numerous positive reviews from professionals in the mental health and recovery fields.
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You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program The Path Back by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to receive updates on upcoming programs, and podcasts.
Attorney, and friend, Paul Hoybjerg joins Tony to talk about how we can better protect our children from sexual abuse. Paul is a partner in a Sacramento, California law firm who represents victims of sexual abuse, and negligence. Paul shares his story of how his own experience as a victim of negligence at birth led him to understand from a very young age when someone in a position of trust doesn’t act the way they should, and how there can be long-lasting, and sometimes devastating consequences. Even if you or your children have not been the victims of sexual abuse, this is a very important episode to listen to as Paul and Tony discuss ways that abusers groom, what to watch out for to assess for abuse, and how to have conversations with those you may believe to have been victims of abuse. Paul and Tony also talk about what to do if one has experienced abuse as a child, or teenager. You can watch this video on The Virtual Couch YouTube channel here https://youtu.be/tKENPPQDmLM Paul welcomes questions at abuseattorney@gmail.com.
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Tony references Paul’s appearance on Richard Ostler’s Listen, Learn and Love Podcast, that episode can be found here https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/episode-261-paul-hoybjerg-protecting-children-from-abuse/id1347971725?i=1000471918919
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There are only a few days left to sign up for Nate Bagley’s “Epic Wives Experiment!” Visit http://tonysexperiment.com for more information, registration ends at midnight, May 17th. Nate is a relationship researcher, and his goal is to rid the world of mediocre love. Nate’s work has been published by ABC, the Gottman Institute, The Good Men Project, Good Morning America, NBC, and more and with his latest project, The Epic Wives Experiment, he wants to help your marriage, and help it NOW! In The Epic Wives Experiment, he promises, nay, guarantees that in 4 weeks you’ll have more support, connection, and love in your marriage. Tony’s recent interview with Nate can be found here https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/nate-bagley-relationship-researcher-on-epic-wives-experiment/id1275153998?i=1000473882148
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Tony's FREE parenting course, “Tips For Parenting Positively Even In the Not So Positive Times” is available NOW. Just go to http://tonyoverbay.com/courses/ and sign up today. This course will help you understand why it can be so difficult to communicate with and understand your children. You’ll learn how to keep your buttons hidden, how to genuinely give praise that will truly build inner wealth in your child, teen, or even in your adult children, and you’ll learn how to move from being “the punisher” to being someone your children will want to go to when they need help. And Tony is so confident that this program will work, that he's offering a money-back guarantee!
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This episode of The Virtual Couch is sponsored by Betterhelp.com/virtualcouch With the continuing “sheltering” rules that are spreading across the country PLEASE do not think that you can’t continue or begin therapy now. Betterhelp.com/virtualcouch can put you quickly in touch with licensed mental health professionals who can meet through text, email, or videoconference often as soon as 24-48 hours. And if you use the link http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch you will receive 10% off your first month of services. Please make your own mental health a priority, http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch offers affordable counseling, and they even have sliding scale options if your budget is tight.
-
Tony's new best selling book "He's a Porn Addict...Now What? An Expert and a Former Addict Answer Your Questions" is now available on Kindle. https://amzn.to/38mauBo
-
Tony Overbay, is the co-author of "He's a Porn Addict...Now What? An Expert and a Former Addict Answer Your Questions" now available on Amazon https://amzn.to/33fk0U4. The book debuted in the number 1 spot in the Sexual Health Recovery category and remains there as the time of this record. The book has received numerous positive reviews from professionals in the mental health and recovery fields.
--
You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program The Path Back by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to receive updates on upcoming programs, and podcasts.
Do you ever feel like you’re simply not in control of your emotions? You’re not alone. At times we may feel like our emotions are charging forward like a 6-ton elephant! And we’re simply the rider, trying out best to guide or control the elephant but without much success. But there is hope! Today Tony discusses the popular analogy The Elephant and the Rider, where our emotional part of the brain is represented by the elephant, and the logical, or rational part of our brain is played by the rider. Understanding this analogy can often lead to a little more understanding of how to quickly take control of our emotional response, and guide new behaviors.
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Tony references the article The Elephant and the Rider https://www.creativehuddle.co.uk/the-elephant-and-the-rider as well as Itamar Goldminz’s article Advise the Rider, Steer the Elephant and Shape the Path (Heath) https://medium.com/org-hacking/advise-the-rider-steer-the-elephant-and-shape-the-path-heath-153b12003436 and he reads Marianne Williamson’s poem “Our Deepest Fear,” https://www.personalgrowthcourses.net/stories/williamson.ourdeepestfear.invitation and Tony reads from The Body Keeps the Score by Bessel van der Kolk https://amzn.to/3fIxBdW
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Nate Bagley is a relationship researcher, and his goal is to rid the world of mediocre love. Nate’s work has been published by ABC, the Gottman Institute, The Good Men Project, Good Morning America, NBC, and more and with his latest project, The Epic Wives Experiment, he wants to help your marriage, and help it NOW! In The Epic Wives Experiment, he promises, nay, guarantees that in 4 weeks you’ll have more support, connection, and love in your marriage. In today’s mini-episode Tony interviews Nate to find out a little bit more about Nate’s background, and what led him to create The Epic Wives Experiment. For more information visit http://tonysexperiment.com registration for the Epic Wives Experiment ends at midnight on May 17th.
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Tony's FREE parenting course, “Tips For Parenting Positively Even In the Not So Positive Times” is available NOW. Just go to http://tonyoverbay.com/courses/ and sign up today. This course will help you understand why it can be so difficult to communicate with and understand your children. You’ll learn how to keep your buttons hidden, how to genuinely give praise that will truly build inner wealth in your child, teen, or even in your adult children, and you’ll learn how to move from being “the punisher” to being someone your children will want to go to when they need help. And Tony is so confident that this program will work, that he's offering a money-back guarantee!
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This episode of The Virtual Couch is sponsored by Betterhelp.com/virtualcouch With the continuing “sheltering” rules that are spreading across the country PLEASE do not think that you can’t continue or begin therapy now. Betterhelp.com/virtualcouch can put you quickly in touch with licensed mental health professionals who can meet through text, email, or videoconference often as soon as 24-48 hours. And if you use the link http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch you will receive 10% off your first month of services. Please make your own mental health a priority, http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch offers affordable counseling, and they even have sliding scale options if your budget is tight.
-
Tony's new best selling book "He's a Porn Addict...Now What? An Expert and a Former Addict Answer Your Questions" is now available on Kindle. https://amzn.to/38mauBo
-
Tony Overbay, is the co-author of "He's a Porn Addict...Now What? An Expert and a Former Addict Answer Your Questions" now available on Amazon https://amzn.to/33fk0U4. The book debuted in the number 1 spot in the Sexual Health Recovery category and remains there as the time of this record. The book has received numerous positive reviews from professionals in the mental health and recovery fields.
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You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program The Path Back by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to receive updates on upcoming programs, and podcasts.
- Nate Bagley is a relationship researcher, and his goal is to rid the world of mediocre love. Nate’s work has been published by ABC, the Gottman Institute, The Good Men Project, Good Morning America, NBC, and more and with his latest project, The Epic Wives Experiment, he wants to help your marriage, and help it NOW! In The Epic Wives Experiment, he promises, nay, guarantees that in 4 weeks you’ll have more support, connection, and love in your marriage. In today’s mini-episode Tony interviews Nate to find out a little bit more about Nate’s background, and what led him to create The Epic Wives Experiment. For more information visit http://tonysexperiment.com registration for the Epic Wives Experiment ends at midnight on May 17th.
- Tony's FREE parenting course, “Tips For Parenting Positively Even In the Not So Positive Times” is available NOW. Just go to HTTP://tonyoverbay.com/courses/ and sign up today. This course will help you understand why it can be so difficult to communicate with and understand your children. You’ll learn how to keep your buttons hidden, how to genuinely give praise that will truly build inner wealth in your child, teen, or even in your adult children, and you’ll learn how to move from being “the punisher” to being someone your children will want to go to when they need help. And Tony is so confident that this program will work, that he's offering a money-back guarantee!
- This episode of The Virtual Couch is sponsored by Betterhelp.com/virtualcouch With the continuing “sheltering” rules that are spreading across the country PLEASE do not think that you can’t continue or begin therapy now. Betterhelp.com/virtualcouch can put you quickly in touch with licensed mental health professionals who can meet through text, email, or videoconference often as soon as 24-48 hours. And if you use the link http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch you will receive 10% off your first month of services. Please make your own mental health a priority, http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch offers affordable counseling, and they even have sliding scale options if your budget is tight.
- Tony's new best selling book "He's a Porn Addict...Now What? An Expert and a Former Addict Answer Your Questions" is now available on Kindle. https://amzn.to/38mauBo
- Tony Overbay, is the co-author of "He's a Porn Addict...Now What? An Expert and a Former Addict Answer Your Questions" now available on Amazon https://amzn.to/33fk0U4. The book debuted in the number 1 spot in the Sexual Health Recovery category and remains there as the time of this record. The book has received numerous positive reviews from professionals in the mental health and recovery fields.
- You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program The Path Back by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to receive updates on upcoming programs, and podcasts.
To celebrate the 200th episode of The Virtual Couch Podcast, former guest and author Joshua Shea (Tony's co-author of "He's a Porn Addict...Now What? An Expert and a Former Addict Answer Your Questions) interviews Virtual Couch podcast host Tony Overbay. Tony shares about a tragic accident shortly after high school graduation that derailed a promising college athletic career, his 10 years in the computer software industry, what led him to change careers to therapy, and how that change has impacted his role as a father and husband. Tony talks about many of the things he’s learned over the years as a therapist that has changed his life for the better, and he gives advice on what he feels is holding most people back from achieving their dreams.
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Tony's FREE parenting course, “Tips For Parenting Positively Even In the Not So Positive Times” is available NOW. Just go to http://tonyoverbay.com/courses/ and sign up today. This course will help you understand why it can be so difficult to communicate with and understand your children. You’ll learn how to keep your buttons hidden, how to genuinely give praise that will truly build inner wealth in your child, teen, or even in your adult children, and you’ll learn how to move from being “the punisher” to being someone your children will want to go to when they need help. And Tony is so confident that this program will work, that he's offering a money-back guarantee!
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This episode of The Virtual Couch is sponsored by http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch With the continuing “sheltering” rules that are spreading across the country PLEASE do not think that you can’t continue or begin therapy now. Betterhelp.com/virtualcouch can put you quickly in touch with licensed mental health professionals who can meet through text, email, or videoconference often as soon as 24-48 hours. And if you use the link http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch you will receive 10% off your first month of services. Please make your own mental health a priority, http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch offers affordable counseling, and they even have sliding scale options if your budget is tight.
-
Tony's new best selling book "He's a Porn Addict...Now What? An Expert and a Former Addict Answer Your Questions" is now available on Kindle. https://amzn.to/38mauBo
-
Tony Overbay, is the co-author of "He's a Porn Addict...Now What? An Expert and a Former Addict Answer Your Questions" now available on Amazon https://amzn.to/33fk0U4. The book debuted in the number 1 spot in the Sexual Health Recovery category and remains there as the time of this record. The book has received numerous positive reviews from professionals in the mental health and recovery fields.
--
You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program The Path Back by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to receive updates on upcoming programs, and podcasts.
Most likely you don't even have to start thinking about all of the stressors in your life right now to feel that familiar pang of anxiety. Does your heart feel like it’s going to beat right through your chest? Or do you feel like a dozen or more kittens are kneading their tiny claws against the inner lining of your stomach? Do you get migraines that cause you to want to bury your head under a pillow for hours, or do you feel tightness in your lower back or shoulders? The body is trying to tell you something, but do you know what to do with the information that it’s sharing with you? Should you avoid the feelings? Will giving in to them cause you to feel worse?
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In today’s episode, Tony works off of the https://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/323454 article “What to know about anxiety,” to give an exhaustive overview of anxiety including what the body is trying to tell you. What types of therapy and medication tend to work the best with anxiety, how does mindfulness, and meditation help reduce anxiety, and why is it so difficult to simply tell myself to be happy, to stop thinking anxious thoughts, and stop feeling anxious feelings (hint, trying to control the mind can often make symptoms even worse!).
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Tony's FREE parenting course, “Tips For Parenting Positively Even In the Not So Positive Times” is available NOW. Just go to http://tonyoverbay.com/courses/ and sign up today. This course will help you understand why it can be so difficult to communicate with and understand your children. You’ll learn how to keep your buttons hidden, how to genuinely give praise that will truly build inner wealth in your child, teen, or even in your adult children, and you’ll learn how to move from being “the punisher” to being someone your children will want to go to when they need help. And Tony is so confident that this program will work, that he's offering a money-back guarantee!
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This episode of The Virtual Couch is sponsored by http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch With the continuing “sheltering” rules that are spreading across the country PLEASE do not think that you can’t continue or begin therapy now. Betterhelp.com/virtualcouch can put you quickly in touch with licensed mental health professionals who can meet through text, email, or videoconference often as soon as 24-48 hours. And if you use the link http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch you will receive 10% off your first month of services. Please make your own mental health a priority, http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch offers affordable counseling, and they even have sliding scale options if your budget is tight.
-
Tony's new best selling book "He's a Porn Addict...Now What? An Expert and a Former Addict Answer Your Questions" is now available on Kindle. https://amzn.to/38mauBo
-
Tony Overbay, is the co-author of "He's a Porn Addict...Now What? An Expert and a Former Addict Answer Your Questions" now available on Amazon https://amzn.to/33fk0U4. The book debuted in the number 1 spot in the Sexual Health Recovery category and remains there as the time of this record. The book has received numerous positive reviews from professionals in the mental health and recovery fields.
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You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program The Path Back by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to receive updates on upcoming programs, and podcasts.
Tony welcomes his wife (that’s right, for the first time in 198 episodes Tony’s wife Wendy joins the podcast!) along with his oldest daughter Alexa, 22, and her husband Mitch, 23, his daughter Mackie, who has appeared two previous times on The Virtual Couch, along with nephew Connor to discuss life in quarantine, online schooling, and what the effects of a lack of schedule look like in the areas of sleep, food, and motivation. If any of you are feeling like you’re alone either as the person in quarantine or wondering if the way your family is acting is “normal” during this unprecedented time, this episode may just have your answers.-
Alexa Lovell, 22, is in her junior year at BYU-Idaho and is studying Diagnostic Medical Sonography and she currently works as a certified lash technician in Idaho, she can be reached to book appointments through her Instagram account @lovell.lashes. Her husband, Mitch Lovell is beginning his senior year at BYU-Idaho studying Biomedical Science and has his sights set on dental school. Alex and Mitch have been married for one year this week! McKinley (Mackie) Overbay, 20, is a sophomore at BYU-Idaho and is almost a year into cosmetology school at Paul Mitchell in Rexburg, ID (IG @beautybymackie) and nephew Connor Furgeson, 25, is a senior at BYU majoring in neuroscience. Wendy Overbay and Tony have been married for 29 years and have 2 other children, Sydney, 18, a senior in high school, and Jake, 16, currently a high school sophomore.-
Tony's FREE parenting course, “Tips For Parenting Positively Even In the Not So Positive Times” is available NOW. Just go to HTTP://tonyoverbay.com/courses/ and sign up today. This course will help you understand why it can be so difficult to communicate with and understand your children. You’ll learn how to keep your buttons hidden, how to genuinely give praise that will truly build inner wealth in your child, teen, or even in your adult children, and you’ll learn how to move from being “the punisher” to being someone your children will want to go to when they need help. And Tony is so confident that this program will work, that he's offering a money-back guarantee!
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This episode of The Virtual Couch is sponsored by Betterhelp.com/virtualcouch With the continuing “sheltering” rules that are spreading across the country PLEASE do not think that you can’t continue or begin therapy now. Betterhelp.com/virtualcouch can put you quickly in touch with licensed mental health professionals who can meet through text, email or videoconference often as soon as 24-48 hours. And if you use the link http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch you will receive 10% off your first month of services. Please make your own mental health a priority, http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch offers affordable counseling, and they even have sliding scale options if your budget is tight.
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Tony's new best selling book "He's a Porn Addict...Now What? An Expert and a Former Addict Answer Your Questions" is now available on Kindle. https://amzn.to/38mauBo
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Tony Overbay, is the co-author of "He's a Porn Addict...Now What? An Expert and a Former Addict Answer Your Questions" now available on Amazon https://amzn.to/33fk0U4. The book debuted in the number 1 spot in the Sexual Health Recovery category and remains there as the time of this record. The book has received numerous positive reviews from professionals in the mental health and recovery fields.
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You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program The Path Back by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to receive updates on upcoming programs, and podcasts.
There’s a lot of talk in the news of narcissism. Many people in powerful positions, i.e. politicians, actors, CEOs of large companies, appear to be impervious to the thoughts of others, often being praised for their ability to put their heads down and power through, letting nothing get in their way. And while this may get them ahead in their chosen professions, it can be absolutely devastating to their relationships, often leaving massive destruction in their wake. Sexual harassment allegations are everywhere, and many of the accused appear to lack complete awareness of the significance of their accusations or of the feelings of their victims. Many of these traits are classic symptoms of narcissistic personality disorder (NPD). In this episode Tony takes a deep dive into NPD, it’s symptomatology, and how to work with a narcissist.
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Tony's FREE parenting course, “Tips For Parenting Positively Even In the Not So Positive Times” is available NOW. Just go to HTTP://tonyoverbay.com/courses/ and sign up today. This course will help you understand why it can be so difficult to communicate with and understand your children. You’ll learn how to keep your buttons hidden, how to genuinely give praise that will truly build inner wealth in your child, teen, or even in your adult children, and you’ll learn how to move from being “the punisher” to being someone your children will want to go to when they need help. And Tony is so confident that this program will work, that he's offering a money-back guarantee!
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This episode of The Virtual Couch is sponsored by Betterhelp.com/virtualcouch With the continuing “sheltering” rules that are spreading across the country PLEASE do not think that you can’t continue or begin therapy now. Betterhelp.com/virtualcouch can put you quickly in touch with licensed mental health professionals who can meet through text, email or videoconference often as soon as 24-48 hours. And if you use the link http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch you will receive 10% off your first month of services. Please make your own mental health a priority, http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch offers affordable counseling, and they even have sliding scale options if your budget is tight.
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Tony's new best selling book "He's a Porn Addict...Now What? An Expert and a Former Addict Answer Your Questions" is now available on Kindle. https://amzn.to/38mauBo
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Tony Overbay, is the co-author of "He's a Porn Addict...Now What? An Expert and a Former Addict Answer Your Questions" now available on Amazon https://amzn.to/33fk0U4. The book debuted in the number 1 spot in the Sexual Health Recovery category and remains there as the time of this record. The book has received numerous positive reviews from professionals in the mental health and recovery fields.
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You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program The Path Back by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to receive updates on upcoming programs, and podcasts.
Day is night, night is day! For most of us, we need a bit of a reason to get out of bed in the morning, whether it's heading to a job, getting the kids ready for school, or to head to an early exercise class at the gym, or meet a friend for breakfast. Unfortunately with the "shelter in place" order still in place, and social distancing the norm many people are finding themselves sleeping in later and later, which equates to staying up to the wee hours of the morning with almost no end in sight. What role does this play on our mental health? Is there a correlation between irregular sleep and common sleep disorders like insomnia and sleep apnea? And what can we do to lower cortisol levels so we can have a more "normal" sleep schedule? Today Tony talks about irregular sleep patterns and then dives deep into the role of cortisol, the stress hormone, and how it affects sleep, and common sleep disorders such as insomnia and sleep apnea, or perhaps how sleep affects the release of cortisol.
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Tony reviews Dr. Michael Breus' article from Psychologytoday.com "The Connection Between Cortisol and Sleep Disorders." https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/sleep-newzzz/202004/the-connection-between-cortisol-and-sleep-disorders Dr. Michael Breus' ask "The Sleep Doctor" can be found at http://thesleepdoctor.com and he also references the website Neuroscientificallychallenged.com https://www.neuroscientificallychallenged.com/glossary/hpa-axis
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Tony's FREE parenting course, “Tips For Parenting Positively Even In the Not So Positive Times” is available NOW. Just go to HTTP://tonyoverbay.com/courses/ and sign up today. This course will help you understand why it can be so difficult to communicate with and understand your children. You’ll learn how to keep your buttons hidden, how to genuinely give praise that will truly build inner wealth in your child, teen, or even in your adult children, and you’ll learn how to move from being “the punisher” to being someone your children will want to go to when they need help. And Tony is so confident that this program will work, that he's offering a money-back guarantee!
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This episode of The Virtual Couch is sponsored by Betterhelp.com/virtualcouch With the continuing “sheltering” rules that are spreading across the country PLEASE do not think that you can’t continue or begin therapy now. Betterhelp.com/virtualcouch can put you quickly in touch with licensed mental health professionals who can meet through text, email or videoconference often as soon as 24-48 hours. And if you use the link http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch you will receive 10% off your first month of services. Please make your own mental health a priority, http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch offers affordable counseling, and they even have sliding scale options if your budget is tight.
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Tony's new best selling book "He's a Porn Addict...Now What? An Expert and a Former Addict Answer Your Questions" is now available on Kindle. https://amzn.to/38mauBo
-
Tony Overbay, is the co-author of "He's a Porn Addict...Now What? An Expert and a Former Addict Answer Your Questions" now available on Amazon https://amzn.to/33fk0U4. The book debuted in the number 1 spot in the Sexual Health Recovery category and remains there as the time of this record. The book has received numerous positive reviews from professionals in the mental health and recovery fields.
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You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program The Path Back by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to receive updates on upcoming programs, and podcasts.
As we continue to shelter in place, quarantine, spend more time in closed quarters with our loved ones, the need for productive communication is even more important. That's why Tony felt it imperative to dust off the basics of psychologist Sue Johnson's Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) for couples. EFT is the evidence-based couples communication model that shows 70-75% of couples move from distress to recovery in their relationships and approximately 90% show significant improvements.-Tony's FREE parenting course, “Tips For Parenting Positively Even In the Not So Positive Times” is available NOW. Just go to HTTP://tonyoverbay.com/courses/ and sign up today. This course will help you understand why it can be so difficult to communicate with and understand your children. You’ll learn how to keep your buttons hidden, how to genuinely give praise that will truly build inner wealth in your child, teen, or even in your adult children, and you’ll learn how to move from being “the punisher” to being someone your children will want to go to when they need help. And Tony is so confident that this program will work, that he's offering a money-back guarantee!-This episode of The Virtual Couch is sponsored by Betterhelp.com/virtualcouch With the continuing “sheltering” rules that are spreading across the country PLEASE do not think that you can’t continue or begin therapy now. Betterhelp.com/virtualcouch can put you quickly in touch with licensed mental health professionals who can meet through text, email or videoconference often as soon as 24-48 hours. And if you use the link http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch you will receive 10% off your first month of services. Please make your own mental health a priority, http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch offers affordable counseling, and they even have sliding scale options if your budget is tight.-Tony's new best selling book "He's a Porn Addict...Now What? An Expert and a Former Addict Answer Your Questions" is now available on Kindle. https://amzn.to/38mauBo-Tony Overbay, is the co-author of "He's a Porn Addict...Now What? An Expert and a Former Addict Answer Your Questions" now available on Amazon https://amzn.to/33fk0U4. The book debuted in the number 1 spot in the Sexual Health Recovery category and remains there as the time of this record. The book has received numerous positive reviews from professionals in the mental health and recovery fields.--You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program The Path Back by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to receive updates on upcoming programs, and podcasts.
If you're human, you've experienced worry. But sometimes it can be more difficult than others to set those worries aside and continue doing what you need to do to move ahead in your life. In today's episode, Tony discusses the article "I'm a psychologist, and these are my top 8 tips for distracting yourself from overwhelming worry" by Erin Bunch from Wellandgood.com. https://www.wellandgood.com/good-advice/how-to-stop-worrying-about-things-you-cant-control/
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COMING SOON Tony's FREE PARENTING CLASS/VIRTUAL SESSION "Parenting Positively Even in the Not So Positive of Times!" Go to tonyoverbay.com and sign up now to be the first to learn how to get this FREE parenting program that will help you immediately understand more about these tiny, or sometimes not so tiny, humans that can play such a major role in our happiness and well being.
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This episode of The Virtual Couch is sponsored by Betterhelp.com/virtualcouch With the continuing “sheltering” rules that are spreading across the country PLEASE do not think that you can’t continue or begin therapy now. Betterhelp.com/virtualcouch can put you quickly in touch with licensed mental health professionals who can meet through text, email or videoconference often as soon as 24-48 hours. And if you use the link http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch you will receive 10% off your first month of services. Please make your own mental health a priority, http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch offers affordable counseling, and they even have sliding scale options if your budget is tight.
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Tony's new best selling book "He's a Porn Addict...Now What? An Expert and a Former Addict Answer Your Questions" is now available on Kindle. https://amzn.to/38mauBo
-
Tony Overbay, is the co-author of "He's a Porn Addict...Now What? An Expert and a Former Addict Answer Your Questions" now available on Amazon https://amzn.to/33fk0U4. The book debuted in the number 1 spot in the Sexual Health Recovery category and remains there as the time of this record. The book has received numerous positive reviews from professionals in the mental health and recovery fields.
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You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program The Path Back by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to receive updates on upcoming programs, and podcasts.
Can memories be implanted? What would you do if smoke began billowing from underneath a door and everyone around you acted like nothing unusual was happening? And could you spot a gorilla running across the screen while you were focusing on people passing a ball between one another? Most of us, if not ALL of us would most likely say that we'd run out of the room, or that we'd absolutely notice the gorilla...yet according to the data, that's not always the case.-In this episode, Tony reviews 5 fascinating experiments from the BoredPanda.com article "28 Psychological Experiments That Revealed Incredible And Uncomfortable Truths About Ourselves" by James Caunt https://www.boredpanda.com/psychology-behaviour-experiments/-This episode of The Virtual Couch is sponsored by Betterhelp.com/virtualcouch With the continuing “sheltering” rules that are spreading across the country PLEASE do not think that you can’t continue or begin therapy now. Betterhelp.com/virtualcouch can put you quickly in touch with licensed mental health professionals who can meet through text, email or videoconference often as soon as 24-48 hours. And if you use the link http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch you will receive 10% off your first month of services. Please make your own mental health a priority, http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch offers affordable counseling, and they even have sliding scale options if your budget is tight.-And please go to http://tonyoverbay.com today and sign up now to receive more information on Tony’s upcoming free parenting "virtual session" called Tips for Parenting Positively During The Not So Positive of Times.-Tony's new best selling book "He's a Porn Addict...Now What? An Expert and a Former Addict Answer Your Questions" is now available on Kindle. https://amzn.to/38mauBo-Tony Overbay, is the co-author of "He's a Porn Addict...Now What? An Expert and a Former Addict Answer Your Questions" now available on Amazon https://amzn.to/33fk0U4. The book debuted in the number 1 spot in the Sexual Health Recovery category and remains there as the time of this record. The book has received numerous positive reviews from professionals in the mental health and recovery fields.--You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program The Path Back by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to receive updates on upcoming programs, and podcasts.
Dr. Mary Wilde is a board-certified pediatrician, author, and mother of 8 who spends a lot of her time helping people decrease anxiety during anxious times. It’s fair to say that with the continuing information regarding COVID-19 coming from all angles these are truly anxious times. So what can you do to keep your own anxiety and fear in check? How does grounding yourself help put you in a better position to help those around you, your family, your children? And can a little bit of anxiety actually be good for you? In today’s episode of The Virtual Couch, Dr. Mary gives a brief overview of this latest coronavirus, COVID-19, and gives suggestions on ways that we can talk to our kids about all the changes and uncertainty in the world.
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Dr. Mary also gives some great advice on how to make the most of the downtime not only for yourself but also for your family. She gives specific examples of how to use an integrative approach, tapping into your mind, your body and your spirit to help decrease anxiety during these anxious times. Dr. Mary has a WEALTH of resources and her own program for lessening anxiety on her website https://drmarywilde.com/home-page and you can find several links that she referenced during this episode below.
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This episode of The Virtual Couch is sponsored by Betterhelp.com/virtualcouch With the continuing “sheltering” rules that are spreading across the country PLEASE do not think that you can’t continue or begin therapy now. Betterhelp.com/virtualcouch can put you quickly in touch with licensed mental health professionals who can meet through text, email or videoconference often as soon as 24-48 hours. And if you use the link http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch you will receive 10% off your first month of services. Please make your own mental health a priority, http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch offers affordable counseling, and they even have sliding scale options if your budget is tight.
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And please go to http://tonyoverbay.com today and sign up now to receive more information on Tony’s upcoming free workshop on Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT), ACT can help you truly focus on what is important to YOU, it will help keep you not only present, able to be there for yourself, your family and your loved ones during even the most uncertain times, but it can also help you make solid decisions moving forward that can help bring you a tremendous sense of purpose.
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Tony's new best selling book "He's a Porn Addict...Now What? An Expert and a Former Addict Answer Your Questions" is now available on Kindle. https://amzn.to/38mauBo
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Tony Overbay, is the co-author of "He's a Porn Addict...Now What? An Expert and a Former Addict Answer Your Questions" now available on Amazon https://amzn.to/33fk0U4. The book debuted in the number 1 spot in the Sexual Health Recovery category and remains there as the time of this record. The book has received numerous positive reviews from professionals in the mental health and recovery fields.
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You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program The Path Back by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to receive updates on upcoming programs, and podcasts.
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Overcoming Childhood Anxiety" for kids, teens, & parents with Dr. Mary Wilde--an 8-week online course teaching mind, body, spirit strategies for dealing with anxiety & more https://drmarywilde.com/anxiety-courses
Free ADHD 5-Challenge with Dr. Mary Wilde and Dr. Lara Honos-Webb: a strength-based approach to ADHD w/ bonus session on optimizing the home learning environment during lockdown https://drmarywilde.com/ADHD-challenge
Free ebook by Dr. Mary Wilde "Your Road to Calm: Stress Detox for the Modern Family" https://drmarywilde.com/ebook-optin
Other resources:
CDC Website: https://www.cdc.gov/coronavirus/2019-ncov/index.html?CDC_AA_refVal=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.cdc.gov%2Fcoronavirus%2Findex.html
WHO Website: https://www.who.int/emergencies/diseases/novel-coronavirus-2019
Washington Post article explaining social distancing: https://www.washingtonpost.com/graphics/2020/world/corona-simulator/
BrainsOn Podcast to Help Explain How Coronavirus is Spread: https://www.brainson.org/shows/2020/03/10/understanding-coronavirus-and-how-germs-spread-for-kids
Free resource to help kids learn to use imagery to reduce anxiety: http://imaginaction.stanford.edu/
Yoga Channel for young kids: https://www.youtube.com/user/CosmicKidsYoga
Mindfulness Meditation with Dr. Tara Brach https://www.tarabrach.com/meditation-the-rain-of-self-compassion/ and a free half-day retreat resource for parents (If you have a parenting partner, take turns!) https://www.tarabrach.com/create-home-retreat/
Online scripture (Comment in the show notes to suggest others!)
Old Testament https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/scriptures/ot?lang=eng
New Testament https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/scriptures/nt?lang=eng
Torah https://www.sefaria.org/texts
Quran https://quran.com/?local=en
With things changing rapidly thanks to the spread of COVID-19 and the Coronavirus, it is becoming increasingly more difficult to know exactly what to do, how to do it, and for how long? But one thing that remains a constant amidst the chaos is people are flocking to stores for their toilet paper and bottled water...even when they have plenty already on hand, or have filtered water on hand via their taps or refrigerators! Why do we tend to follow the crowd even when we aren’t entirely sure that following them is exactly what works for us personally?
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In today’s episode Tony explores why we tend to follow crowds, and whether or not it’s always a good idea? Tony uses Jeremy Nicholson Ph.D.’s article “Should You Do What Everyone Else is Doing” https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/persuasion-bias-and-choice/201903/should-you-do-what-everyone-else-is-doing along with “The Science Behind Why People Follow the Crowd” By Rob Henderson
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/after-service/201705/the-science-behind-why-people-follow-the-crowd as the outline for this episode. And you can watch this episode (audio AND video) on the Virtual Couch YouTube channel here https://youtu.be/ypUPYth00RY please take just a second to subscribe while you're there.
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Tony's new best selling book "He's a Porn Addict...Now What? An Expert and a Former Addict Answer Your Questions" is now available on Kindle. https://amzn.to/38mauBo
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Tony Overbay, is the co-author of "He's a Porn Addict...Now What? An Expert and a Former Addict Answer Your Questions" now available on Amazon https://amzn.to/33fk0U4. The book debuted in the number 1 spot in the Sexual Health Recovery category and remains there as the time of this record. The book has received numerous positive reviews from professionals in the mental health and recovery fields.
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The book tackles tough questions with answers from both the expert and the addict's point of view. Tony, a licensed marriage and family therapist, and creator of The Path Back, an online pornography addiction recovery program that has helped hundreds of people overcome turning to pornography and other compulsive sexual behaviors as a coping mechanism, and Joshua Shea, former addict, and author of the book “The Addiction Nobody Will Talk About” read their respective answers to questions such as "Finding out he's addicted to porn has turned me off to sex completely, what should I do?" And "How much do we tell the kids?" And "Does this mean that God is mad at me, or doesn't love me?"
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Reviews include: "This is the most helpful book for porn addicts and the people who (still) love them. One of the most courageous and timely books to help with a widespread and almost never talked about epidemic that is ruining marriages, careers, and lives. It will give hope to millions of people who are addicted to pornography. -- Mark Goulston, MD, FAPA, Author of Just Listen Discover the Secret to Getting Through to Absolutely Anyone.
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You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program The Path Back by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to receive updates on upcoming programs, and podcasts.
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The Virtual Couch is sponsored by http://Betterhelp.com/virtualcouch Betterhelp.com is the world's leading provider of online therapy. Their mission is to make professional counseling accessible, affordable, and convenient, so anyone who struggles with life's challenges can get help, anytime, anywhere. Head to http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch for 10% off your first month of services.
With the continued information about the coronavirus coming in almost by the minute, two things have remained consistent...wash your hands long enough to sing the ABC song AND don't touch your face! But for most, simply telling one to not touch their face leads to more face touching, oftentimes significantly more than they would have had they never been instructed to not touch their face in the first place! Why is it so hard to stop touching our faces...no touchy!!! In this episode, Tony tackles the reasons why thought suppression not only doesn't work, but it actually makes the situation worse! Tony references the NBC News article, "Try not to touch your face. Also, try not to think about touching your face." by Kalhan Rosenblatt https://www.nbcnews.com/tech/social-media/try-not-touch-your-face-also-try-not-think-about-n1150161 as well as the Psychology Today article "Don't Think About It: Thought Suppression Causes Behavior Rebound" by Ira Hyman Ph.D. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/mental-mishaps/201009/dont-think-about-it-Tony's new best selling book "He's a Porn Addict...Now What? An Expert and a Former Addict Answer Your Questions" is now available on Kindle. https://amzn.to/38mauBo-Tony Overbay, is the co-author of "He's a Porn Addict...Now What? An Expert and a Former Addict Answer Your Questions" now available on Amazon https://amzn.to/33fk0U4. The book debuted in the number 1 spot in the Sexual Health Recovery category and remains there as the time of this record. The book has received numerous positive reviews from professionals in the mental health and recovery fields.-The book tackles tough questions with answers from both the expert and the addict's point of view. Tony, a licensed marriage and family therapist, and creator of The Path Back, an online pornography addiction recovery program that has helped hundreds of people overcome turning to pornography and other compulsive sexual behaviors as a coping mechanism, and Joshua Shea, former addict, and author of the book “The Addiction Nobody Will Talk About” read their respective answers to questions such as "Finding out he's addicted to porn has turned me off to sex completely, what should I do?" And "How much do we tell the kids?" And "Does this mean that God is mad at me, or doesn't love me?"-Reviews include: "This is the most helpful book for porn addicts and the people who (still) love them. One of the most courageous and timely books to help with a widespread and almost never talked about epidemic that is ruining marriages, careers, and lives. It will give hope to millions of people who are addicted to pornography. -- Mark Goulston, MD, FAPA, Author of Just Listen Discover the Secret to Getting Through to Absolutely Anyone.-You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program The Path Back by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to receive updates on upcoming programs, and podcasts.-The Virtual Couch is sponsored by http://Betterhelp.com/virtualcouch Betterhelp.com is the world's leading provider of online therapy. Their mission is to make professional counseling accessible, affordable, and convenient, so anyone who struggles with life's challenges can get help, anytime, anywhere. Head to http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch for 10% off your first month of services.
Author Tina Fuller joins Tony to talk about her book "It's My Turn" https://amzn.to/2ImIMtk which details her experiences in growing up with a narcissistic mother. The interview covers personality disorders, signs of narcissism, and the negative effects of growing up the child of a narcissistic parent. Tina also shares how to heal from the issues that arise from being raised by a narcissist. Tina can be contacted through her website www.narcissism-answers.com/ Tina also runs a very robust Facebook group with over 55,000 followers called Narcissistic Parent Answers https://www.facebook.com/Narcissistic-Parent-Answers-140962406067146/
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Tony's new best selling book "He's a Porn Addict...Now What? An Expert and a Former Addict Answer Your Questions" is now available on Kindle. https://amzn.to/38mauBo
-
Tony Overbay, is the co-author of "He's a Porn Addict...Now What? An Expert and a Former Addict Answer Your Questions" now available on Amazon https://amzn.to/33fk0U4. The book debuted in the number 1 spot in the Sexual Health Recovery category and remains there as the time of this record. The book has received numerous positive reviews from professionals in the mental health and recovery fields.
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The book tackles tough questions with answers from both the expert and the addict's point of view. Tony, a licensed marriage and family therapist, and creator of The Path Back, an online pornography addiction recovery program that has helped hundreds of people overcome turning to pornography and other compulsive sexual behaviors as a coping mechanism, and Joshua Shea, former addict, and author of the book “The Addiction Nobody Will Talk About” read their respective answers to questions such as "Finding out he's addicted to porn has turned me off to sex completely, what should I do?" And "How much do we tell the kids?" And "Does this mean that God is mad at me, or doesn't love me?"
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Reviews include: "This is the most helpful book for porn addicts and the people who (still) love them. One of the most courageous and timely books to help with a widespread and almost never talked about epidemic that is ruining marriages, careers, and lives. It will give hope to millions of people who are addicted to pornography. -- Mark Goulston, MD, FAPA, Author of Just Listen Discover the Secret to Getting Through to Absolutely Anyone.
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You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program The Path Back by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to receive updates on upcoming programs, and podcasts.
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The Virtual Couch is sponsored by http://Betterhelp.com/virtualcouch Betterhelp.com is the world's leading provider of online therapy. Their mission is to make professional counseling accessible, affordable, and convenient, so anyone who struggles with life's challenges can get help, anytime, anywhere. Head to http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch for 10% off your first month of services.
Simply put, psychological reactance is the instantaneous response that we have when we're told what to do. In business it is often called "change resistance" and in parenting, it's typically referred to as, well, "kids!" Reactance can also be described as "reverse psychology." But why does it flow from us so instantaneously? Why, in some situations, can someone even be telling us something that would ultimately be for our benefit but we feel a need to lash out with a firm "no, you don't understand, that won't work for me?" And per Tony's early admonition on this episode, you can skip to 9 mins 10 seconds in to skip directly to the discussion on reactance.
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Today Tony tackles the topic of psychological reactance and bases the discussion on a couple of interesting articles on the subject. First is an article titled simply "Reactance" from http://psychology.iresearchnet.com/social-psychology/social-influence/reactance/ and "Don't Tread On Me! Psychological Reactance as Omnipresent" by Ryan Smerek Ph.D. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/learning-work/201712/don-t-tread-me-psychological-reactance-omnipresent
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Tony mentioned two recent podcast appearances in the beginning of the episode, you can find his episode "Tony Overbay, Virtual Couch Podcast and Porn Addiction" on Nikki Eisenhauer's Emotional Badass here https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/tony-overbay-virtual-couch-interview-and-porn-addiction/id1363543523?i=1000467191010 and Tony's interview on Brannon Patrick's new podcast "Ask Brannon Anything" titled "Faith Crisis & Relationships" here https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/faith-crisis-relationships/id1500794877?i=1000467024231
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Tony's new best selling book "He's a Porn Addict...Now What? An Expert and a Former Addict Answer Your Questions" is now available on Kindle. https://amzn.to/38mauBo
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Tony Overbay, is the co-author of "He's a Porn Addict...Now What? An Expert and a Former Addict Answer Your Questions" now available on Amazon https://amzn.to/33fk0U4. The book debuted in the number 1 spot in the Sexual Health Recovery category and remains there as the time of this record. The book has received numerous positive reviews from professionals in the mental health and recovery fields.
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The book tackles tough questions with answers from both the expert and the addict's point of view. Tony, a licensed marriage and family therapist, and creator of The Path Back, an online pornography addiction recovery program that has helped hundreds of people overcome turning to pornography and other compulsive sexual behaviors as a coping mechanism, and Joshua Shea, former addict, and author of the book “The Addiction Nobody Will Talk About” read their respective answers to questions such as "Finding out he's addicted to porn has turned me off to sex completely, what should I do?" And "How much do we tell the kids?" And "Does this mean that God is mad at me, or doesn't love me?"
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Reviews include: "This is the most helpful book for porn addicts and the people who (still) love them. One of the most courageous and timely books to help with a widespread and almost never talked about epidemic that is ruining marriages, careers, and lives. It will give hope to millions of people who are addicted to pornography. -- Mark Goulston, MD, FAPA, Author of Just Listen Discover the Secret to Getting Through to Absolutely Anyone.
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You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program The Path Back by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to receive updates on upcoming programs, and podcasts.
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The Virtual Couch is sponsored by http://Betterhelp.com/virtualcouch Betterhelp.com is the world's leading provider of online therapy. Their mission is to make professional counseling accessible, affordable, and convenient, so anyone who struggles with life's challenges can get help, anytime, anywhere. Head to http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch for 10% off your first month of services.
When Ginger Hahn, the founder of Ginger Elizabeth Chocolates' daughter was only 6 days old she had an intestinal bypass. According to Ginger, "It was the worst 2 weeks of my life in that hospital. Walking to the cafeteria every day I would walk past the oncology pediatrics wing at Sutter Sacramento. I was grateful to not be on that wing with my baby but so many kids were. I want to do this to give back to those kids who give so much hope and inspiration to others while fighting this terrible disease."-So Ginger is shaving her head with St. Baldrick's to raise money and help conquer kids' cancers and she needs your help! Every 2 minutes a child is diagnosed with cancer worldwide, and 1 in 5 of those in the U.S. will not survive. Ginger said that she refuses to accept this reality, so she's decided to fundraise for lifesaving research to find cures and better treatments for kids. You can help Ginger by donating on her behalf to St. Baldricks here https://www.stbaldricks.org/donate/participant/1058309/2020?amount=50&donation_type=donate_once-In this episode, Ginger talks about balancing a growing business in her 20’s with the demands of motherhood, and her battles with severe postpartum depression, and, at times, crippling anxiety. But Ginger never gave up and found herself needing to open up to others, and learn how to be vulnerable, and seek help, something that didn’t come naturally to a driven, entrepreneur. You can learn more about Ginger, and order her world-famous chocolates at https://gingerelizabeth.com/-Tony's new best selling book "He's a Porn Addict...Now What? An Expert and a Former Addict Answer Your Questions" is now available on Kindle. https://amzn.to/38mauBo-Tony Overbay, is the co-author of "He's a Porn Addict...Now What? An Expert and a Former Addict Answer Your Questions" now available on Amazon https://amzn.to/33fk0U4. The book debuted in the number 1 spot in the Sexual Health Recovery category and remains there as the time of this record. The book has received numerous positive reviews from professionals in the mental health and recovery fields.-The book tackles tough questions with answers from both the expert and the addict's point of view. Tony, a licensed marriage and family therapist, and creator of The Path Back, an online pornography addiction recovery program that has helped hundreds of people overcome turning to pornography and other compulsive sexual behaviors as a coping mechanism, and Joshua Shea, former addict, and author of the book “The Addiction Nobody Will Talk About” read their respective answers to questions such as "Finding out he's addicted to porn has turned me off to sex completely, what should I do?" And "How much do we tell the kids?" And "Does this mean that God is mad at me, or doesn't love me?"-Reviews include: "This is the most helpful book for porn addicts and the people who (still) love them. One of the most courageous and timely books to help with a widespread and almost never talked about epidemic that is ruining marriages, careers, and lives. It will give hope to millions of people who are addicted to pornography. -- Mark Goulston, MD, FAPA, Author of Just Listen Discover the Secret to Getting Through to Absolutely Anyone.-You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program The Path Back by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to receive updates on upcoming programs, and podcasts.-The Virtual Couch is sponsored by http://Betterhelp.com/virtualcouch Betterhelp.com is the world's leading provider of online therapy. Their mission is to make professional counseling accessible, affordable, and convenient, so anyone who struggles with life's challenges can get help, anytime, anywhere. Head to http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch for 10% off your first month of services.
Lora Abraham, LCSW and a former high school classmate of Tony's, uses EMDR to treat clients who present with a variety of types of trauma. What is EMDR? From the EMDR Institute: EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing) is a psychotherapy that enables people to heal from the symptoms and emotional distress that are the result of disturbing life experiences. Repeated studies show that by using EMDR therapy people can experience the benefits of psychotherapy that once took years to make a difference. It is widely assumed that severe emotional pain requires a long time to heal. EMDR therapy shows that the mind can in fact heal from psychological trauma much as the body recovers from physical trauma. When you cut your hand, your body works to close the wound. If a foreign object or repeated injury irritates the wound, it festers and causes pain. Once the block is removed, healing resumes. EMDR therapy demonstrates that a similar sequence of events occurs with mental processes. Lora referenced receiving her training in EMDR through the Maiberger Institute https://maibergerinstitute.com/ Anyone seeking more information on EMDR or who are interested in receiving EMDR certification and/or training please visit the Maiberger Institute for more information.
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Tony's new best selling book "He's a Porn Addict...Now What? An Expert and a Former Addict Answer Your Questions" is now available on Kindle. https://amzn.to/38mauBo
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Tony Overbay, is the co-author of "He's a Porn Addict...Now What? An Expert and a Former Addict Answer Your Questions" now available on Amazon https://amzn.to/33fk0U4. The book debuted in the number 1 spot in the Sexual Health Recovery category and remains there as the time of this record. The book has received numerous positive reviews from professionals in the mental health and recovery fields.
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The book tackles tough questions with answers from both the expert and the addict's point of view. Tony, a licensed marriage and family therapist, and creator of The Path Back, an online pornography addiction recovery program that has helped hundreds of people overcome turning to pornography and other compulsive sexual behaviors as a coping mechanism, and Joshua Shea, former addict, and author of the book “The Addiction Nobody Will Talk About” read their respective answers to questions such as "Finding out he's addicted to porn has turned me off to sex completely, what should I do?" And "How much do we tell the kids?" And "Does this mean that God is mad at me, or doesn't love me?"
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Reviews include: "This is the most helpful book for porn addicts and the people who (still) love them. One of the most courageous and timely books to help with a widespread and almost never talked about epidemic that is ruining marriages, careers, and lives. It will give hope to millions of people who are addicted to pornography. -- Mark Goulston, MD, FAPA, Author of Just Listen Discover the Secret to Getting Through to Absolutely Anyone.
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You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program The Path Back by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to receive updates on upcoming programs, and podcasts.
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The Virtual Couch is sponsored by http://Betterhelp.com/virtualcouch Betterhelp.com is the world's leading provider of online therapy. Their mission is to make professional counseling accessible, affordable, and convenient, so anyone who struggles with life's challenges can get help, anytime, anywhere. Head to http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch for 10% off your first month of services.
For many, a faith community, or religious congregation, is a safe place to return regularly to be spiritually fed before heading back to an often chaotic world. But what happens when that previously “safe” community begins to feel like a place where one is no longer welcome? Is the problem with the individual, or with the community, or congregation? If you are a parent to someone who is experiencing a faith crisis, what do you do? Are there certain things that you say that seem to trigger emotional responses that appear to come out of nowhere? If you’re the one experiencing the “faith crisis” how do you communicate with your family or faith community?-Tony explores this topic from a variety of angles, from empathy, and Christlike love, to explore what it means to judge righteously, and why identifying as someone more connected to Truth, Beauty, or Goodness matters? And finally, Tony discusses James Fowler’s Stages of Faith, and how understanding where you are, or where a loved one may be, can help bring more peace, and understanding, into a relationship where a belief system is at the core of the disagreements.-Tony's new best selling book "He's a Porn Addict...Now What? An Expert and a Former Addict Answer Your Questions" is now available on Kindle. https://amzn.to/38mauBo-Tony Overbay, is the co-author of "He's a Porn Addict...Now What? An Expert and a Former Addict Answer Your Questions" now available on Amazon https://amzn.to/33fk0U4. The book debuted in the number 1 spot in the Sexual Health Recovery category and remains there as the time of this record. The book has received numerous positive reviews from professionals in the mental health and recovery fields.-The book tackles tough questions with answers from both the expert and the addict's point of view. Tony, a licensed marriage and family therapist, and creator of The Path Back, an online pornography addiction recovery program that has helped hundreds of people overcome turning to pornography and other compulsive sexual behaviors as a coping mechanism, and Joshua Shea, former addict, and author of the book “The Addiction Nobody Will Talk About” read their respective answers to questions such as "Finding out he's addicted to porn has turned me off to sex completely, what should I do?" And "How much do we tell the kids?" And "Does this mean that God is mad at me, or doesn't love me?"-Reviews include: "This is the most helpful book for porn addicts and the people who (still) love them. One of the most courageous and timely books to help with a widespread and almost never talked about epidemic that is ruining marriages, careers, and lives. It will give hope to millions of people who are addicted to pornography. -- Mark Goulston, MD, FAPA, Author of Just Listen Discover the Secret to Getting Through to Absolutely Anyone.-You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program The Path Back by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to receive updates on upcoming programs, and podcasts.-The Virtual Couch is sponsored by http://Betterhelp.com/virtualcouch Betterhelp.com is the world's leading provider of online therapy. Their mission is to make professional counseling accessible, affordable, and convenient, so anyone who struggles with life's challenges can get help, anytime, anywhere. Head to http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch for 10% off your first month of services.
Many of us know what Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) is, and we associate it with people who have come back from war, or who have experienced traumatic events, or accidents. Complex Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder or C-PTSD is a type of PTSD that garnering much more attention lately thanks to all we're learning about the long-term effects of trauma from people in power. Examples of C-PTSD can be found in everything from survivors of sex-trafficking and or survivors of ongoing sexual abuse as a child, to spouses who have lived in emotionally abusive relationships for years, especially those who have found themselves in relationships with a partner exhibiting symptoms of narcissistic personality disorder (NPD).
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This episode is based primarily off of the article "Understanding Complex Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder," by Gary Gilles and Kelly Morrell, medically reviewed by Timothy J. Legg, PhD, PsyD from Healthline.com https://www.healthline.com/health/cptsd
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Tony's new best selling book "He's a Porn Addict...Now What? An Expert and a Former Addict Answer Your Questions" is now available on Kindle. https://amzn.to/38mauBo
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Tony Overbay, is the co-author of "He's a Porn Addict...Now What? An Expert and a Former Addict Answer Your Questions" now available on Amazon https://amzn.to/33fk0U4. The book debuted in the number 1 spot in the Sexual Health Recovery category and remains there as the time of this record. The book has received numerous positive reviews from professionals in the mental health and recovery fields.
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The book tackles tough questions with answers from both the expert and the addict's point of view. Tony, a licensed marriage and family therapist, and creator of The Path Back, an online pornography addiction recovery program that has helped hundreds of people overcome turning to pornography and other compulsive sexual behaviors as a coping mechanism, and Joshua Shea, former addict, and author of the book “The Addiction Nobody Will Talk About” read their respective answers to questions such as "Finding out he's addicted to porn has turned me off to sex completely, what should I do?" And "How much do we tell the kids?" And "Does this mean that God is mad at me, or doesn't love me?"
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Reviews include: "This is the most helpful book for porn addicts and the people who (still) love them. One of the most courageous and timely books to help with a widespread and almost never talked about epidemic that is ruining marriages, careers, and lives. It will give hope to millions of people who are addicted to pornography. -- Mark Goulston, MD, FAPA, Author of Just Listen Discover the Secret to Getting Through to Absolutely Anyone.
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You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program The Path Back by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to receive updates on upcoming programs, and podcasts.
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The Virtual Couch is sponsored by http://Betterhelp.com/virtualcouch Betterhelp.com is the world's leading provider of online therapy. Their mission is to make professional counseling accessible, affordable, and convenient, so anyone who struggles with life's challenges can get help, anytime, anywhere. Head to http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch for 10% off your first month of services.
Plenty of well-meaning people in our lives try and motivate us by saying, "Just choose to be happy every day!" But why, then, isn't it that easy? Why when many people try and choose to be happy, do they actually end up feeling worse? If you've ever experienced this, then please know that you're not alone. As a matter of fact, you're in the overwhelming majority of people that struggle with trying to choose happiness, and having it last. In this episode, Tony discusses a couple of studies that back up the fact that positive affirmations typically only work when the person already believes the idea that they are affirming, but when we try using them when we don't believe the affirmation in the first place, that they can leave us feeling more lonely, and depressed. Susan David's book Emotional Agility as well as Russ Harris' The Confidence Gap https://amzn.to/2Hkp5C3 and The Happiness Trap https://amzn.to/2SGRKXd are referenced in this episode.
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Tony's new best selling book "He's a Porn Addict...Now What? An Expert and a Former Addict Answer Your Questions" is now available on Kindle. https://amzn.to/38mauBo
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Tony Overbay, is the co-author of "He's a Porn Addict...Now What? An Expert and a Former Addict Answer Your Questions" now available on Amazon https://amzn.to/33fk0U4. The book debuted in the number 1 spot in the Sexual Health Recovery category and remains there as the time of this record. The book has received numerous positive reviews from professionals in the mental health and recovery fields.
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The book tackles tough questions with answers from both the expert and the addict's point of view. Tony, a licensed marriage and family therapist, and creator of The Path Back, an online pornography addiction recovery program that has helped hundreds of people overcome turning to pornography and other compulsive sexual behaviors as a coping mechanism, and Joshua Shea, former addict, and author of the book “The Addiction Nobody Will Talk About” read their respective answers to questions such as "Finding out he's addicted to porn has turned me off to sex completely, what should I do?" And "How much do we tell the kids?" And "Does this mean that God is mad at me, or doesn't love me?"
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Reviews include: "This is the most helpful book for porn addicts and the people who (still) love them. One of the most courageous and timely books to help with a widespread and almost never talked about epidemic that is ruining marriages, careers, and lives. It will give hope to millions of people who are addicted to pornography. -- Mark Goulston, MD, FAPA, Author of Just Listen Discover the Secret to Getting Through to Absolutely Anyone.
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You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program The Path Back by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to receive updates on upcoming programs, and podcasts.
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The Virtual Couch is sponsored by http://Betterhelp.com/virtualcouch Betterhelp.com is the world's leading provider of online therapy. Their mission is to make professional counseling accessible, affordable, and convenient, so anyone who struggles with life's challenges can get help, anytime, anywhere. Head to http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch for 10% off your first month of services.
All or nothing...He’s ALWAYS late! She NEVER asks me about my day. The kids will absolutely never, ever, no matter what I say pick up after themselves (OK, that one might actually be true). Do you always find yourself using extreme black and white or all-or-nothing thinking? Are you never able to find the good in a moment and be fully present (see what I did there?). Chances are most of us will find ourselves using black and white, all-or-nothing, or what the American Psychological Association also calls dichotomous or polarized thinking on a fairly regular basis. This type of thinking keeps us from seeing the world as it truly is, wonderfully complex, full of nuances and situations that can be equally frustrating, and exhilarating. In this episode, Tony will refer to the article How Black and White Thinking Hurts You (And What You Can Do to Change it) by Rebecca Joy Stanborough of Healthline https://thriveglobal.com/stories/black-and-white-thinking-damage-communication-psychology-research/-Tony's new best selling book "He's a Porn Addict...Now What? An Expert and a Former Addict Answer Your Questions" is now available on Kindle. https://amzn.to/38mauBo-Tony Overbay, is the co-author of "He's a Porn Addict...Now What? An Expert and a Former Addict Answer Your Questions" now available on Amazon https://amzn.to/33fk0U4. The book debuted in the number 1 spot in the Sexual Health Recovery category and remains there as the time of this record. The book has received numerous positive reviews from professionals in the mental health and recovery fields.-The book tackles tough questions with answers from both the expert and the addict's point of view. Tony, a licensed marriage and family therapist, and creator of The Path Back, an online pornography addiction recovery program that has helped hundreds of people overcome turning to pornography and other compulsive sexual behaviors as a coping mechanism, and Joshua Shea, former addict, and author of the book “The Addiction Nobody Will Talk About” read their respective answers to questions such as "Finding out he's addicted to porn has turned me off to sex completely, what should I do?" And "How much do we tell the kids?" And "Does this mean that God is mad at me, or doesn't love me?"-Reviews include: "This is the most helpful book for porn addicts and the people who (still) love them. One of the most courageous and timely books to help with a widespread and almost never talked about epidemic that is ruining marriages, careers, and lives. It will give hope to millions of people who are addicted to pornography. -- Mark Goulston, MD, FAPA, Author of Just Listen Discover the Secret to Getting Through to Absolutely Anyone.-You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program The Path Back by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to receive updates on upcoming programs, and podcasts.-The Virtual Couch is sponsored by http://Betterhelp.com/virtualcouch Betterhelp.com is the world's leading provider of online therapy. Their mission is to make professional counseling accessible, affordable, and convenient, so anyone who struggles with life's challenges can get help, anytime, anywhere. Head to http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch for 10% off your first month of services.
In Dr. Steven Hayes’ book A Liberated Mind, How to Pivot Toward What Matters https://amzn.to/34w72BT Dr. Hayes shares some research that shows how quickly you can begin making progress using Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT). The study evaluated how ACT helped people cope with chronic pain, one of the most difficult conditions to treat. After 4 sessions of ACT, the participants in the study had an 87 percent reduction in medical visits and only missed an average of half a day of work versus the control group who missed weeks of work and attended 15 to 1 doctor's appointments who did not receive the ACT training. I dig deep into what those 4 sessions of ACT consist of, why the sessions are so impactful and how you can incorporate them into your own life as soon as possible.
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Tony's new best selling book "He's a Porn Addict...Now What? An Expert and a Former Addict Answer Your Questions" is now available on Kindle. https://amzn.to/38mauBo
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Tony Overbay, is the co-author of "He's a Porn Addict...Now What? An Expert and a Former Addict Answer Your Questions" now available on Amazon https://amzn.to/33fk0U4. The book debuted in the number 1 spot in the Sexual Health Recovery category and remains there as the time of this record. The book has received numerous positive reviews from professionals in the mental health and recovery fields.
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The book tackles tough questions with answers from both the expert and the addict's point of view. Tony, a licensed marriage and family therapist, and creator of The Path Back, an online pornography addiction recovery program that has helped hundreds of people overcome turning to pornography and other compulsive sexual behaviors as a coping mechanism, and Joshua Shea, former addict, and author of the book “The Addiction Nobody Will Talk About” read their respective answers to questions such as "Finding out he's addicted to porn has turned me off to sex completely, what should I do?" And "How much do we tell the kids?" And "Does this mean that God is mad at me, or doesn't love me?"
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Reviews include: "This is the most helpful book for porn addicts and the people who (still) love them. One of the most courageous and timely books to help with a widespread and almost never talked about epidemic that is ruining marriages, careers, and lives. It will give hope to millions of people who are addicted to pornography. -- Mark Goulston, MD, FAPA, Author of Just Listen Discover the Secret to Getting Through to Absolutely Anyone.
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You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program The Path Back by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to receive updates on upcoming programs, and podcasts.
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The Virtual Couch is sponsored by http://Betterhelp.com/virtualcouch Betterhelp.com is the world's leading provider of online therapy. Their mission is to make professional counseling accessible, affordable, and convenient, so anyone who struggles with life's challenges can get help, anytime, anywhere. Head to http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch for 10% off your first month of services.
Dr. Shelly Hoover is a wife, mother, grandmother, daughter, sister, and friend. She’s a veteran, author, educator, and advocate. It’s what she does. It’s who she is. In 2013, her neurologist told her that she only had two to five years to live. After a year of trying to figure out what was slowly happening to her body, Shelly was diagnosed with Amyotrophic Lateral Sclerosis (ALS) or Lou Gehrig’s disease. Some call it that Ice Bucket Challenge disease. From shellyhoover.com, “whatever you call it, it’s a fatal diagnosis with no effective treatment or cure. Yet I have much to live for and I’m determined to live in gratitude and joy regardless of circumstance. I feel alive when while I’m encouraging others to live their best life.”
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Tony interviews Shelly about their shared experience running around a middle school track to help motivate kids, and raise money for the school, and how to make the event bigger, and better in the future, only to find that a few short months later, Shelly would begin to recognize the initial symptoms of what would eventually be diagnosed as ALS.
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Shelly has also written a book, Timeless Sisters, available on Amazon https://amzn.to/38fiMuJ The book is about three strong women, Janene, Cora, and Amadahy, who live in the same North Carolina town centuries apart. Janene, a modern-day high school teacher, loses her career and identity in the face of a devastating illness. Cora, an enslaved person during the Civil War, flees the Yarbrough plantation after her family is murdered. She finds refuge at Mama Hattie’s house only to encounter the killer years later. Amadahy, a Cherokee before the European invasion, loses a child and her husband leaves. She finds an unlikely love while on a river adventure and returns to find trouble at home. A sacred, maternal talisman connects the three women as they search for lasting peace. Follow this fast-paced, emotional journey to the collective sisterhood at the river.
The book has received phenomenal reviews from both critics, and readers alike. You can learn more about Shelly at http://shellyhoover.com
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Tony's new best selling book "He's a Porn Addict...Now What? An Expert and a Former Addict Answer Your Questions" is now available on Kindle. https://amzn.to/38mauBo
-
Tony Overbay, is the co-author of "He's a Porn Addict...Now What? An Expert and a Former Addict Answer Your Questions" now available on Amazon https://amzn.to/33fk0U4. The book debuted in the number 1 spot in the Sexual Health Recovery category and remains there as the time of this record. The book has received numerous positive reviews from professionals in the mental health and recovery fields.
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The book tackles tough questions with answers from both the expert and the addict's point of view. Tony, a licensed marriage and family therapist, and creator of The Path Back, an online pornography addiction recovery program that has helped hundreds of people overcome turning to pornography and other compulsive sexual behaviors as a coping mechanism, and Joshua Shea, former addict, and author of the book “The Addiction Nobody Will Talk About” read their respective answers to questions such as "Finding out he's addicted to porn has turned me off to sex completely, what should I do?" And "How much do we tell the kids?" And "Does this mean that God is mad at me, or doesn't love me?"
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Reviews include: "This is the most helpful book for porn addicts and the people who (still) love them. One of the most courageous and timely books to help with a widespread and almost never talked about epidemic that is ruining marriages, careers, and lives. It will give hope to millions of people who are addicted to pornography. -- Mark Goulston, MD, FAPA, Author of Just Listen Discover the Secret to Getting Through to Absolutely Anyone.
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You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program The Path Back by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to receive updates on upcoming programs, and podcasts.
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The Virtual Couch is sponsored by http://Betterhelp.com/virtualcouch Betterhelp.com is the world's leading provider of online therapy. Their mission is to make professional counseling accessible, affordable, and convenient, so anyone who struggles with life's challenges can get help, anytime, anywhere. Head to http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch for 10% off your first month of services
One of the popular messages shared by both therapists and media alike is that we are supposed to be in complete control of our own emotions before, or even IF we then turn to others and that it is necessary to love yourself first and only THEN will someone else be able to love you. But according to Dr. Sue Johnson, founder of the highly successful evidence-based couples therapy model, Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT), our new knowledge “stands that message on its head.” Dr. Johnson, in her latest book, Love Sense https://amzn.to/2RYEwq6, The Revolutionary New Science of Romantic Relationships, says that “we are designed to deal with emotion in concert with another person, not by ourselves.” Tony breaks down attachment issues at their very beginning, when we’re born, and then builds on why it is so important to have a secure attachment as a base to operate from in order to be more successful in navigating the complex world of human relationships. “We have cracked the code of love,” says Dr. Johnson.
-Tony's new best selling book "He's a Porn Addict...Now What? An Expert and a Former Addict Answer Your Questions" is now available on Kindle. https://amzn.to/38mauBo-Tony will be speaking in the Midvale North Stake on Sunday, January 26th in Midvale, UT. His talk is titled "Hang in There! You're Doing Better Than You Think." The talk is free, the address is 97 W 7500 South, Midvale, UT.-Tony will be presenting at the Outlier Podcast Festival in Salt Lake City on January 25th, 2020. You can find out more info here: Outlier Podcast Festival | Salt Lake City at The Pod Mill @ 30 South Main Street Salt Lake City UT January 24-25, 2020 http://outlierpodfest.com/ Get a 15% discount to attend the festival by using the discount code "Outlier".-Tony Overbay, is the co-author of "He's a Porn Addict...Now What? An Expert and a Former Addict Answer Your Questions" now available on Amazon https://amzn.to/33fk0U4. The book debuted in the number 1 spot in the Sexual Health Recovery category and remains there as the time of this record. The book has received numerous positive reviews from professionals in the mental health and recovery fields.-The book tackles tough questions with answers from both the expert and the addict's point of view. Tony, a licensed marriage and family therapist, and creator of The Path Back, an online pornography addiction recovery program that has helped hundreds of people overcome turning to pornography and other compulsive sexual behaviors as a coping mechanism, and Joshua Shea, former addict, and author of the book “The Addiction Nobody Will Talk About” read their respective answers to questions such as "Finding out he's addicted to porn has turned me off to sex completely, what should I do?" And "How much do we tell the kids?" And "Does this mean that God is mad at me, or doesn't love me?"-Reviews include: "This is the most helpful book for porn addicts and the people who (still) love them. One of the most courageous and timely books to help with a widespread and almost never talked about epidemic that is ruining marriages, careers, and lives. It will give hope to millions of people who are addicted to pornography. -- Mark Goulston, MD, FAPA, Author of Just Listen Discover the Secret to Getting Through to Absolutely Anyone.-You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program The Path Back by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to receive updates on upcoming programs, and podcasts.-The Virtual Couch is sponsored by http://Betterhelp.com/virtualcouch Betterhelp.com is the world's leading provider of online therapy. Their mission is to make professional counseling accessible, affordable, and convenient, so anyone who struggles with life's challenges can get help, anytime, anywhere. Head to http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch for 10% off your first month of services.
Have you ever been scared by a friend? Chances are your first, or primary emotion, was fear! That's perfectly normal, after all, you're human. But what emotion follows after the initial fear response? Do you get angry because your friend scared you? Where did that anger come from? Was it because you were actually embarrassed that you dropped your phone, or that you let out a string of curse words that would make a sailor blush? Those feelings that swoop in immediately after a reaction are typically called your "secondary emotions" and those keep us away from staying in the present moment. Today we explore the world of primary and secondary emotions, and, how learning where they come from will help you better recognize and deal with them in a more healthy, present, way.In this episode, Tony refers to the article "What are Primary and Secondary Emotions" by Nadia Khan first posted on Betterhelp.com https://www.betterhelp.com/advice/general/what-are-primary-and-secondary-emotions/-This episode is sponsored by Blubrry Podcasting – Launch your Podcast the Blubrry Way. The Virtual Couch is hosted by Blubrry, and chances are you already have a podcast, or you want to start a podcast. What are you waiting for? Get 30 Days of Blubrry Podcasting FREE, which includes hosting and stats, and a WordPress website if you need one. Publishing is as simple as Create – Upload – Publish. Use the promo code BLU014 to get started today, or simply click on this link and you’ll be a podcasting in no time! https://create.blubrry.com/resources/podcast-media-hosting/?code=Blu014-Tony's new best selling book "He's a Porn Addict...Now What? An Expert and a Former Addict Answer Your Questions" is now available on Kindle. https://amzn.to/38mauBo-Tony will be speaking in the Midvale North Stake on Sunday, January 26th in Midvale, UT. His talk is titled "Hang in There! You're Doing Better Than You Think." The talk is free, the address is 97 W 7500 South, Midvale, UT.-Tony will be presenting at the Outlier Podcast Festival in Salt Lake City on January 25th, 2020. You can find out more info here: Outlier Podcast Festival | Salt Lake City at The Pod Mill @ 30 South Main Street Salt Lake City UT January 24-25, 2020 http://outlierpodfest.com/ Get a 15% discount to attend the festival by using the discount code "Outlier".-Tony Overbay, is the co-author of "He's a Porn Addict...Now What? An Expert and a Former Addict Answer Your Questions" now available on Amazon https://amzn.to/33fk0U4. The book debuted in the number 1 spot in the Sexual Health Recovery category and remains there as the time of this record. The book has received numerous positive reviews from professionals in the mental health and recovery fields.-The book tackles tough questions with answers from both the expert and the addict's point of view. Tony, a licensed marriage and family therapist, and creator of The Path Back, an online pornography addiction recovery program that has helped hundreds of people overcome turning to pornography and other compulsive sexual behaviors as a coping mechanism, and Joshua Shea, former addict, and author of the book “The Addiction Nobody Will Talk About” read their respective answers to questions such as "Finding out he's addicted to porn has turned me off to sex completely, what should I do?" And "How much do we tell the kids?" And "Does this mean that God is mad at me, or doesn't love me?"-Reviews include: "This is the most helpful book for porn addicts and the people who (still) love them. One of the most courageous and timely books to help with a widespread and almost never talked about epidemic that is ruining marriages, careers, and lives. It will give hope to millions of people who are addicted to pornography. -- Mark Goulston, MD, FAPA, Author of Just Listen Discover the Secret to Getting Through to Absolutely Anyone.-You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program The Path Back by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to receive updates on upcoming programs, and podcasts.-The Virtual Couch is sponsored by http://Betterhelp.com/virtualcouch Betterhelp.com is the world's leading provider of online therapy. Their mission is to make professional counseling accessible, affordable, and convenient, so anyone who struggles with life's challenges can get help, anytime, anywhere. Head to http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch for 10% off your first month of services.
Physical attraction may be enough to initially bring a couple together but is it enough to sustain a relationship when you feel disconnected emotionally, spiritually, or intellectually? Or how about when you feel like anything you say to each other is a trigger for an argument? Learn how to form a more healthy view of intimacy, beginning with psychological intimacy, verbal intimacy, emotional intimacy and more. Discover how to make physical intimacy the natural byproduct of a strong connection. The content of this episode was initially recorded and aired in 2018 after Tony learned about the Levels of Intimacy from Dr. Kevin Skinner of ADDO Recovery.-
This episode is sponsored by Blubrry Podcasting – Launch your Podcast the Blubrry Way. The Virtual Couch is hosted by Blubrry, and chances are you already have a podcast, or you want to start a podcast. What are you waiting for? Get 30 Days of Blubrry Podcasting FREE, that includes hosting and stats, and a WordPress website if you need one. Publishing is as simple as Create – Upload – Publish. Use the promo code BLU014 to get started today, or simply click on this link and you’ll be a podcasting in no time! https://create.blubrry.com/resources/podcast-media-hosting/?code=Blu014
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Tony will be speaking in the Midvale North Stake on Sunday, January 26th in Midvale, UT. His talk is titled "Hang in There! You're Doing Better Than You Think." The talk is free, the address is 97 W 7500 South, Midvale, UT.-Tony will be presenting at the Outlier Podcast Festival in Salt Lake City on January 25th, 2020. You can find out more info here: Outlier Podcast Festival | Salt Lake City at The Pod Mill @ 30 South Main Street Salt Lake City UT January 24-25, 2020 http://outlierpodfest.com/ Get a 15% discount to attend the festival by using the discount code "Outlier".-Tony Overbay, is the co-author of "He's a Porn Addict...Now What? An Expert and a Former Addict Answer Your Questions" now available on Amazon https://amzn.to/33fk0U4. The book debuted in the number 1 spot in the Sexual Health Recovery category and remains there as the time of this record. The book has received numerous positive reviews from professionals in the mental health and recovery fields.-The book tackles tough questions with answers from both the expert and the addict's point of view. Tony, a licensed marriage and family therapist, and creator of The Path Back, an online pornography addiction recovery program that has helped hundreds of people overcome turning to pornography and other compulsive sexual behaviors as a coping mechanism, and Joshua Shea, former addict, and author of the book “The Addiction Nobody Will Talk About” read their respective answers to questions such as "Finding out he's addicted to porn has turned me off to sex completely, what should I do?" And "How much do we tell the kids?" And "Does this mean that God is mad at me, or doesn't love me?"-Reviews include: "This is the most helpful book for porn addicts and the people who (still) love them. One of the most courageous and timely books to help with a widespread and almost never talked about epidemic that is ruining marriages, careers, and lives. It will give hope to millions of people who are addicted to pornography. -- Mark Goulston, MD, FAPA, Author of Just Listen Discover the Secret to Getting Through to Absolutely Anyone.-You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program The Path Back by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to receive updates on upcoming programs, and podcasts.-The Virtual Couch is sponsored by http://Betterhelp.com/virtualcouch Betterhelp.com is the world's leading provider of online therapy. Their mission is to make professional counseling accessible, affordable, and convenient, so anyone who struggles with life's challenges can get help, anytime, anywhere. Head to http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch for 10% off your first month of services.
In today's episode, Tony tackles the popular article "How Complaining Physically Rewires Your Brain To Be Anxious And Depressed," from the Daily Health Post https://dailyhealthpost.com/complaining-brain-negativity/
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This episode is sponsored by Blubrry Podcasting – Launch your Podcast the Blubrry Way. The Virtual Couch is hosted by Blubrry, and chances are you already have a podcast, or you want to start a podcast. What are you waiting for? Get 30 Days of Blubrry Podcasting FREE, that includes hosting and stats, and a WordPress website if you need one. Publishing is as simple as Create – Upload – Publish. Use the promo code BLU014 to get started today, or simply click on this link and you’ll be a podcasting in no time! https://create.blubrry.com/resources/podcast-media-hosting/?code=Blu014
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Tony will be speaking in the Midvale North Stake on Sunday, January 26th in Midvale, UT. His talk is titled "Hang in There! You're Doing Better Than You Think." The talk is free, the address is 97 W 7500 South, Midvale, UT.
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Tony will be presenting at the Outlier Podcast Festival in Salt Lake City on January 25th, 2020. You can find out more info here: Outlier Podcast Festival | Salt Lake City at The Pod Mill @ 30 South Main Street Salt Lake City UT January 24-25, 2020 http://outlierpodfest.com/ Get a 15% discount to attend the festival by using the discount code "Outlier".
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Tony Overbay, is the co-author of "He's a Porn Addict...Now What? An Expert and a Former Addict Answer Your Questions" now available on Amazon https://amzn.to/33fk0U4. The book debuted in the number 1 spot in the Sexual Health Recovery category and remains there as the time of this record. The book has received numerous positive reviews from professionals in the mental health and recovery fields.
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The book tackles tough questions with answers from both the expert and the addict's point of view. Tony, a licensed marriage and family therapist, and creator of The Path Back, an online pornography addiction recovery program that has helped hundreds of people overcome turning to pornography and other compulsive sexual behaviors as a coping mechanism, and Joshua Shea, former addict, and author of the book “The Addiction Nobody Will Talk About” read their respective answers to questions such as "Finding out he's addicted to porn has turned me off to sex completely, what should I do?" And "How much do we tell the kids?" And "Does this mean that God is mad at me, or doesn't love me?"
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Reviews include: "This is the most helpful book for porn addicts and the people who (still) love them. One of the most courageous and timely books to help with a widespread and almost never talked about epidemic that is ruining marriages, careers, and lives. It will give hope to millions of people who are addicted to pornography. -- Mark Goulston, MD, FAPA, Author of Just Listen Discover the Secret to Getting Through to Absolutely Anyone.
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You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program The Path Back by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to receive updates on upcoming programs, and podcasts.
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The Virtual Couch is sponsored by http://Betterhelp.com/virtualcouch Betterhelp.com is the world's leading provider of online therapy. Their mission is to make professional counseling accessible, affordable, and convenient, so anyone who struggles with life's challenges can get help, anytime, anywhere. Head to http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch for 10% off your first month of services.
Allison Carlson (IG: @allisonbailey1) is more than a social media content creator, aka an “influencer,” she is also a wife, a future doula, a woman who has suffered through multiple difficult miscarriages, a survivor of betrayal, anxiety, depression and cutting, mother to a beautiful “rainbow baby” named Given, and yet someone who is also willing to be open and vulnerable in hopes of making a difference. In today’s episode, Allison shares how her challenges have truly shaped who she is today, and how she is continually finding that balance between living her life and sharing it.
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Allison talks about what led her to influencing, and why influencing can carry such negative connotations. She also answers all of the questions that you’ve wanted to ask a successful influencer, like: do you feel like social media has an overall positive or negative effect on today’s society? How do you deal with “haters?” What advice would you give to someone who wants to become an influencer? How often are you approached by companies who want you to represent their products? Do you turn down opportunities to represent companies or products? Do you ever worry about “what’s next?”
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Allison mentioned her sister-in-law, Justine, also a successful influencer, who can be found @jacimariesmith on Instagram. And you can watch this interview on YouTube here https://youtu.be/ZwxUGDibIis
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This episode is sponsored by Blubrry Podcasting – Launch your Podcast the Blubrry Way. The Virtual Couch is hosted by Blubrry, and chances are you already have a podcast, or you want to start a podcast. What are you waiting for? Get 30 Days of Blubrry Podcasting FREE, that includes hosting and stats, and a WordPress website if you need one. Publishing is as simple as Create – Upload – Publish. Use the promo code BLU014 to get started today, or simply click on this link and you’ll be a podcasting in no time! https://create.blubrry.com/resources/podcast-media-hosting/?code=Blu014
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Tony will be presenting at the Outlier Podcast Festival in Salt Lake City on January 25th, 2020. You can find out more info here: Outlier Podcast Festival | Salt Lake City at The Pod Mill @ 30 South Main Street Salt Lake City UT January 24-25, 2020 http://outlierpodfest.com/ Get a 15% discount to attend the festival by using the discount code "Outlier".
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Tony Overbay, is the co-author of "He's a Porn Addict...Now What? An Expert and a Former Addict Answer Your Questions" now available on Amazon https://amzn.to/33fk0U4. The book debuted in the number 1 spot in the Sexual Health Recovery category and remains there as the time of this record. The book has received numerous positive reviews from professionals in the mental health and recovery fields.
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The book tackles tough questions with answers from both the expert and the addict's point of view. Tony, a licensed marriage and family therapist, and creator of The Path Back, an online pornography addiction recovery program that has helped hundreds of people overcome turning to pornography and other compulsive sexual behaviors as a coping mechanism, and Joshua Shea, former addict, and author of the book “The Addiction Nobody Will Talk About” read their respective answers to questions such as "Finding out he's addicted to porn has turned me off to sex completely, what should I do?" And "How much do we tell the kids?" And "Does this mean that God is mad at me, or doesn't love me?"
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Reviews include: "This is the most helpful book for porn addicts and the people who (still) love them. One of the most courageous and timely books to help with a widespread and almost never talked about epidemic that is ruining marriages, careers, and lives. It will give hope to millions of people who are addicted to pornography. -- Mark Goulston, MD, FAPA, Author of Just Listen Discover the Secret to Getting Through to Absolutely Anyone.
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You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program The Path Back by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to receive updates on upcoming programs, and podcasts.
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The Virtual Couch is sponsored by http://Betterhelp.com/virtualcouch Betterhelp.com is the world's leading provider of online therapy. Their mission is to make professional counseling accessible, affordable, and convenient, so anyone who struggles with life's challenges can get help, anytime, anywhere. Head to http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch for 10% off your first month of services.
It’s New Year’s Resolution time! Does setting resolutions, or even talking about resolutions, in general, bring feelings of fear, or excitement? In this episode, I weave acceptance and commitment therapy into 5 evidence-based ways to make your resolutions stick once and for all! Learn how your values must drive your goals, or else you’re just giving yourself more rules to follow, and ultimately break. And what are the stories that your brain is trying to get you to hook to so you don’t have to keep your resolutions? In the episode, Tony references a values worksheet from the book The Confidence Gap by Russ Harris. You can find the worksheet here http://thehappinesstrap.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/06/complete_worksheets_for_The_Confidence_Gap.pdfAnd Tony mentioned he'll be presenting at the Outlier Podcast Festival in Salt Lake City on January 25th, 2020. You can find out more info here: Outlier Podcast Festival | Salt Lake City at The Pod Mill @ 30 South Main Street Salt Lake City UT January 24-25, 2020 http://outlierpodfest.com/ Get a 15% discount to attend the festival by using the discount code "Outlier".Tony Overbay, is the co-author of "He's a Porn Addict...Now What? An Expert and a Former Addict Answer Your Questions" now available on Amazon https://amzn.to/33fk0U4. The book debuted in the number 1 spot in the Sexual Health Recovery category and remains there as the time of this record. The book has received numerous positive reviews from professionals in the mental health and recovery fields.The book tackles tough questions with answers from both the expert and the addict's point of view. Tony, a licensed marriage and family therapist, and creator of The Path Back, an online pornography addiction recovery program that has helped hundreds of people overcome turning to pornography and other compulsive sexual behaviors as a coping mechanism, and Joshua Shea, former addict, and author of the book “The Addiction Nobody Will Talk About” read their respective answers to questions such as "Finding out he's addicted to porn has turned me off to sex completely, what should I do?" And "How much do we tell the kids?" And "Does this mean that God is mad at me, or doesn't love me?"Reviews include: "This is the most helpful book for porn addicts and the people who (still) love them. One of the most courageous and timely books to help with a widespread and almost never talked about epidemic that is ruining marriages, careers, and lives. It will give hope to millions of people who are addicted to pornography. -- Mark Goulston, MD, FAPA, Author of Just Listen Discover the Secret to Getting Through to Absolutely Anyone."Compulsive problematic sexual behavior is riddled with denial and the authors cut through the normal defense mechanisms that occur to keep this problem a secret. They show great empathy for the spouse who naturally wonders "if she wasn't enough." This book cuts to the chase and helps the reader find hope, strength, and recovery throughout the chapters. It is as if you are in the office talking to a counselor and a sex addict and they are reading your minds as a couple who are seeking help for the first time. -- Carol Juergensen Sheets LCSW, CSAT, CCPS, Host of Sex Help With Carol the Coach and Partner Betrayal Recovery podcasts."Joshua's first appearance on The Virtual Couch can be viewed here https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V7lOtSLz_l4 and his first book The Addiction Nobody Will Talk About is available on Amazon https://amzn.to/2OK6baO and you can learn more about Joshua at http://recoveringpornaddict.comYou can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program The Path Back by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to receive updates on upcoming programs, and podcasts.The Virtual Couch is sponsored by http://Betterhelp.com/virtualcouch Betterhelp.com is the world's leading provider of online therapy. Their mission is to make professional counseling accessible, affordable, and convenient, so anyone who struggles with life's challenges can get help, anytime, anywhere. Head to http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch for 10% off your first month of services.
Tony talks stages of change using the Transtheoretical, or Stages of Change Model referencing an article by Kendra Cherry https://www.verywellmind.com/the-stages-of-change-2794868 Discover the 6 stages of change and where we typically get stuck on the path of changing troublesome or unwanted behaviors.And Tony mentioned he'll be presenting at the Outlier Podcast Festival in Salt Lake City on January 25th, 2020. You can find out more info here: Outlier Podcast Festival | Salt Lake City at The Pod Mill @ 30 South Main Street Salt Lake City UT January 24-25, 2020 http://outlierpodfest.com/ Get a 15% discount to attend the festival by using the discount code "Outlier".Tony Overbay, is the co-author of "He's a Porn Addict...Now What? An Expert and a Former Addict Answer Your Questions" now available on Amazon https://amzn.to/33fk0U4. The book debuted in the number 1 spot in the Sexual Health Recovery category and remains there as the time of this record. The book has received numerous positive reviews from professionals in the mental health and recovery fields.The book tackles tough questions with answers from both the expert and the addict's point of view. Tony, a licensed marriage and family therapist, and creator of The Path Back, an online pornography addiction recovery program that has helped hundreds of people overcome turning to pornography and other compulsive sexual behaviors as a coping mechanism, and Joshua Shea, former addict, and author of the book “The Addiction Nobody Will Talk About” read their respective answers to questions such as "Finding out he's addicted to porn has turned me off to sex completely, what should I do?" And "How much do we tell the kids?" And "Does this mean that God is mad at me, or doesn't love me?"Reviews include: "This is the most helpful book for porn addicts and the people who (still) love them. One of the most courageous and timely books to help with a widespread and almost never talked about epidemic that is ruining marriages, careers, and lives. It will give hope to millions of people who are addicted to pornography. -- Mark Goulston, MD, FAPA, Author of Just Listen Discover the Secret to Getting Through to Absolutely Anyone."Compulsive problematic sexual behavior is riddled with denial and the authors cut through the normal defense mechanisms that occur to keep this problem a secret. They show great empathy for the spouse who naturally wonders "if she wasn't enough." This book cuts to the chase and helps the reader find hope, strength, and recovery throughout the chapters. It is as if you are in the office talking to a counselor and a sex addict and they are reading your minds as a couple who are seeking help for the first time. -- Carol Juergensen Sheets LCSW, CSAT, CCPS, Host of Sex Help With Carol the Coach and Partner Betrayal Recovery podcasts."Joshua's first appearance on The Virtual Couch can be viewed here https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V7lOtSLz_l4 and his first book The Addiction Nobody Will Talk About is available on Amazon https://amzn.to/2OK6baO and you can learn more about Joshua at http://recoveringpornaddict.comYou can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program The Path Back by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to receive updates on upcoming programs, and podcasts.The Virtual Couch is sponsored by http://Betterhelp.com/virtualcouch Betterhelp.com is the world's leading provider of online therapy. Their mission is to make professional counseling accessible, affordable, and convenient, so anyone who struggles with life's challenges can get help, anytime, anywhere. Head to http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch for 10% off your first month of services.
Tony shares his excitement over one of the founders of Acceptance and Commitment Therapy, Dr. Steven Hayes' new book A Liberated Mind, How to Pivot Toward What Matters https://amzn.to/34w72BT Tony reviews Dr. Hayes 6 key "pivots" of ACT and how even simply an understanding of these pivots can lead to a fairly immediate pivot toward psychological flexibility, which in turn points you toward a more fulfilling life.Tony also references the "Best of" episode of the Marriage Thereoke Podcast which can be found here https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/best-of-season-1/id1435127101?i=1000458823557And he mentions Monica Packer's About Progress Podcast and her re-airing of her favorite episode of 2019, an interview that she did with Tony called "How to Stop Hating Yourself" which can be found here https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/ap-225-how-to-stop-hating-yourself-with-tony-overbay-encore/id1173416233?i=1000459935015Tony Overbay, is the co-author of "He's a Porn Addict...Now What? An Expert and a Former Addict Answer Your Questions" now available on Amazon https://amzn.to/33fk0U4. The book debuted in the number 1 spot in the Sexual Health Recovery category and remains there as the time of this record. The book has received numerous positive reviews from professionals in the mental health and recovery fields.The book tackles tough questions with answers from both the expert and the addict's point of view. Tony, a licensed marriage and family therapist, and creator of The Path Back, an online pornography addiction recovery program that has helped hundreds of people overcome turning to pornography and other compulsive sexual behaviors as a coping mechanism, and Joshua Shea, former addict, and author of the book “The Addiction Nobody Will Talk About” read their respective answers to questions such as "Finding out he's addicted to porn has turned me off to sex completely, what should I do?" And "How much do we tell the kids?" And "Does this mean that God is mad at me, or doesn't love me?"Reviews include: "This is the most helpful book for porn addicts and the people who (still) love them. One of the most courageous and timely books to help with a widespread and almost never talked about epidemic that is ruining marriages, careers, and lives. It will give hope to millions of people who are addicted to pornography. -- Mark Goulston, MD, FAPA, Author of Just Listen Discover the Secret to Getting Through to Absolutely Anyone."Compulsive problematic sexual behavior is riddled with denial and the authors cut through the normal defense mechanisms that occur to keep this problem a secret. They show great empathy for the spouse who naturally wonders "if she wasn't enough." This book cuts to the chase and helps the reader find hope, strength, and recovery throughout the chapters. It is as if you are in the office talking to a counselor and a sex addict and they are reading your minds as a couple who are seeking help for the first time. -- Carol Juergensen Sheets LCSW, CSAT, CCPS, Host of Sex Help With Carol the Coach and Partner Betrayal Recovery podcasts."Joshua's first appearance on The Virtual Couch can be viewed here https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V7lOtSLz_l4 and his first book The Addiction Nobody Will Talk About is available on Amazon https://amzn.to/2OK6baO and you can learn more about Joshua at http://recoveringpornaddict.comYou can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program The Path Back by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to receive updates on upcoming programs, and podcasts.The Virtual Couch is sponsored by http://Betterhelp.com/virtualcouch Betterhelp.com is the world's leading provider of online therapy. Their mission is to make professional counseling accessible, affordable, and convenient, so anyone who struggles with life's challenges can get help, anytime, anywhere. Head to http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch for 10% off your first month of services.
Part 3 of 2 of Tony's discussion of his ADHD (ADD inattentive type) diagnosis. In this episode, Tony goes more into some of the diagnostic criteria including a couple of lists of behaviors often associated with ADD-like symptoms (trust me, it's more entertaining than it sounds!). Even if you don't personally suffer from ADHD, there's a good chance someone in your family does. This episode is designed to help bring a little more awareness of what ADHD can look like, and, better yet, how to use the possible diagnosis as a strength.Tony discusses ADHD vs. ADD from an article on Additude.com a website designed to help take you inside the ADHD mind https://www.additudemag.com/slideshows/add-vs-adhd/And he references the following two books, "Driven to Distraction, Recognizing and Coping with Attention Deficit Disorder" by Edward Hallowell, M.D. and John Ratey, M.D. https://amzn.to/2syyphe and Dr. Daniel Amen's "Healing ADD Revised Edition: The Breakthrough Program that Allows You to See and Heal the 7 Types of ADD" https://amzn.to/2LWz96MAnd please take a look at Tony's new book, "He's a Porn Addict...Now What? An Expert and a Former Addict Answer Your Questions" now available on Amazon https://amzn.to/33fk0U4. The book debuted in the number 1 spot in the Sexual Health Recovery category and has received numerous positive reviews from professionals in the mental health and recovery fields.The book answers difficult questions from both the expert, Tony, and the former addict, Tony's co-author Joshua Shea. They answer questions such as: "Finding out he's addicted to porn has turned me off to sex completely, what should I do?" And "How much do we tell the kids?" And "Does this mean that God is mad at me, or doesn't love me?"Reviews include: "This is the most helpful book for porn addicts and the people who (still) love them. One of the most courageous and timely books to help with a widespread and almost never talked about epidemic that is ruining marriages, careers, and lives. It will give hope to millions of people who are addicted to pornography. -- Mark Goulston, MD, FAPA, Author of Just Listen Discover the Secret to Getting Through to Absolutely Anyone."Compulsive problematic sexual behavior is riddled with denial and the authors cut through the normal defense mechanisms that occur to keep this problem a secret. They show great empathy for the spouse who naturally wonders "if she wasn't enough." This book cuts to the chase and helps the reader find hope, strength, and recovery throughout the chapters. It is as if you are in the office talking to a counselor and a sex addict and they are reading your minds as a couple who are seeking help for the first time. -- Carol Juergensen Sheets LCSW, CSAT, CCPS, Host of Sex Help With Carol the Coach and Partner Betrayal Recovery podcasts."Joshua's first appearance on The Virtual Couch can be viewed here https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V7lOtSLz_l4 and his first book The Addiction Nobody Will Talk About is available on Amazon https://amzn.to/2OK6baO and you can learn more about Joshua at http://recoveringpornaddict.comYou can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program The Path Back by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to receive updates on upcoming programs, and podcasts.The Virtual Couch is sponsored by http://Betterhelp.com/virtualcouch Betterhelp.com is the world's leading provider of online therapy. Their mission is to make professional counseling accessible, affordable, and convenient, so anyone who struggles with life's challenges can get help, anytime, anywhere. Head to http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch for 10% off your first month of services.
Tony Overbay, LMFT interviews Joshua Shea about their newly released book "He's a Porn Addict...Now What? An Expert and a Former Addict Answer Your Questions" now available on Amazon https://amzn.to/33fk0U4. The book debuted in the number 1 spot in the Sexual Health Recovery category and has received numerous positive reviews from professionals in the mental health and recovery fields.Tony and Josh talk about what led to the creation of the book, the process of finding a publisher, and then they read their respective answers to questions such as "Finding out he's addicted to porn has turned me off to sex completely, what should I do?" And "How much do we tell the kids?" And "Does this mean that God is mad at me, or doesn't love me?"Reviews include: "This is the most helpful book for porn addicts and the people who (still) love them. One of the most courageous and timely books to help with a widespread and almost never talked about epidemic that is ruining marriages, careers, and lives. It will give hope to millions of people who are addicted to pornography. -- Mark Goulston, MD, FAPA, Author of Just Listen Discover the Secret to Getting Through to Absolutely Anyone."Compulsive problematic sexual behavior is riddled with denial and the authors cut through the normal defense mechanisms that occur to keep this problem a secret. They show great empathy for the spouse who naturally wonders "if she wasn't enough." This book cuts to the chase and helps the reader find hope, strength, and recovery throughout the chapters. It is as if you are in the office talking to a counselor and a sex addict and they are reading your minds as a couple who are seeking help for the first time. -- Carol Juergensen Sheets LCSW, CSAT, CCPS, Host of Sex Help With Carol the Coach and Partner Betrayal Recovery podcasts."Joshua's first appearance on The Virtual Couch can be viewed here https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V7lOtSLz_l4 and his first book The Addiction Nobody Will Talk About is available on Amazon https://amzn.to/2OK6baO and you can learn more about Joshua at http://recoveringpornaddict.comYou can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program The Path Back by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to receive updates on upcoming programs, and podcasts.The Virtual Couch is sponsored by http://Betterhelp.com/virtualcouch Betterhelp.com is the world's leading provider of online therapy. Their mission is to make professional counseling accessible, affordable, and convenient, so anyone who struggles with life's challenges can get help, anytime, anywhere. Head to http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch for 10% off your first month of services.
Wait! Don't skip this episode! I know if you're a podcast listener you've no doubt heard therapist and life coach alike gush about the benefits of mindfulness, about meditation, about being present. Well, what does that actually mean? What's the science behind the practice and how do you push through if you've tried it a time or two and felt like it just didn't work for you? In this episode, Tony will reference an article from HappyBrainScience.com by Scott Crabtree that discusses how to truly rewire your brain with a mindfulness practice (https://www.happybrainscience.com/blog/brain-change-rewire-focused-attention/).
And within that article, Crabtree references research of Massachusetts General Hospital conducted by Harvard-affiliated researchers called "Eight Weeks to a Better Brain." (https://news.harvard.edu/gazette/story/2011/01/eight-weeks-to-a-better-brain/). The article specifically discusses how mindfulness has been shown to change the neuropathways of the brain to help with not only being more present but also to express more empathy, improve memory and better handle anxiety and stress.
Tony Overbay's new book, co-authored with author Joshua Shea, "He's A Porn Addict...Now What? An Expert and a Former Addict Answer Your Questions," is now available on Amazon, you can find it here https://amzn.to/2KylIcz Joshua Shea also wrote the book "The Addiction Nobody Will Talk About: How I Let My Pornography Addiction Hurt People and Destroy Relationships." Joshua's book can be found here https://amzn.to/2O0KxAd
And you can find out more about Tony's pornography recovery program The Path Back by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to receive updates on upcoming programs, and podcasts.
The Virtual Couch is sponsored by http://Betterhelp.com/virtualcouch Betterhelp.com is the world's leading provider of online therapy. Their mission is to make professional counseling accessible, affordable, and convenient, so anyone who struggles with life's challenges can get help, anytime, anywhere. Head to http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch for 10% off your first month of services.
In today's episode, Tony takes a deep dive into the article "How the Narcissistic Trauma Bond Ensnares" by Christine Hammond, MS, LMHC. Christine is a two-time former Virtual Couch podcast guest, and host of the popular, and informative podcast "Understanding Today's Narcissist."
In the article, Christine shares the definition of the term trauma bonding, which is loyalty and continued commitment to an abusive person despite the intolerable treatment. In the case of a trauma bonding to a narcissist, there tends to be a persistent denial of the problem even when others bring the evidence to light. She then shares eight ways that people typically find themselves ensnared in the trauma bond. You can find the article here https://pro.psychcentral.com/exhausted-woman/2018/02/how-the-narcissistic-trauma-bond-ensnares/
You can learn more about Christine and many of the podcasts, programs, and articles that she has written and produced on the topic of narcissism at https://growwithchristine.com/ as well as a way to listen to and subscribe to her podcast "Understanding Today's Narcissist."
You can find Christine's two previous visits to The Virtual Couch at the following links:
Talking about Narcissism, and Narcissist Personality Disorder here https://www.tonyoverbay.com/2018/10/29/episode-86-understanding-todays-narcissist-podcast-host-christine-hammond-lmhc-personality-disorder-expert/
And talking about Borderline Personality Disorder here https://www.tonyoverbay.com/2019/03/26/episode-118-understanding-borderline-personality-disorder-bpd-with-christine-hammond-lmhc/
Tony Overbay's new book, co-authored with author Joshua Shea (The Addiction Nobody Will Talk About: How I Let My Pornography Addiction Hurt People and Destroy Relationships https://amzn.to/2O0KxAd) He's A Porn Addict...Now What? An Expert and a Former Addict Answer Your Questions, is now available on Amazon, you can find it here https://amzn.to/2KylIcz
And you can find out more about Tony's pornography recovery program The Path Back by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to receive updates on upcoming programs, and podcasts.
The Virtual Couch is sponsored by http://Betterhelp.com/virtualcouch Betterhelp.com is the world's leading provider of online therapy. Their mission is to make professional counseling accessible, affordable, and convenient, so anyone who struggles with life's challenges can get help, anytime, anywhere. Head to http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch for 10% off your first month of services.
Learn tangible, positive ways to help you take control of your parenting today! In this solo episode, Tony Overbay, LMFT, goes into detail, with personal examples, of how to actually implement the Nurtured Heart Parenting approach with your small, or teenage children. Tony dives into the three stands of the Nurtured Heart Approach: Stand 1, refuse to be drawn into energizing or rewarding negativity, hide your buttons! Make the responses to tantrums, episodes and broken rules boring, predictably boring! Stand 2, absolutely energize and nurture success, making the building of "inner wealth" the goal. Do it, relentlessly do it! I WILL energize the positive using the Nurtured Heart Approaches four techniques to find, recognize and comment upon successes, small, large and everything in between EVEN if you believe there's nothing there to praise! And Stand 3, clearly, but casually, enforce limits. Create a system where the rules are understood, and when they are broken, here's what happens. I WILL provide a true consequence when a rule is broken, I WILL be absolutely clear with my expectations, I will NOT simply dangle a carrot but I will provide a reminder, with limits!
From the website Children's Success Foundation https://childrenssuccessfoundation.com/ the Nurtured Heart Approach is described as follows: "The Nurtured Heart Approach® is a relationship-focused methodology founded strategically in The 3 Stands™ for helping children (and adults) build their Inner Wealth™ and use their intensity in successful ways. It has become a powerful way of awakening the inherent greatness in all children while facilitating parenting and classroom success.
The essence of the Approach is a set of core methodologies originally developed for working with the most difficult children. It has a proven impact on every child, including those who are challenged behaviorally, socially and academically. The Nurtured Heart Approach has been shown to create transformative changes in children diagnosed with ADHD, Oppositional Defiant Disorder, Reactive Attachment Disorder and other behavioral, emotional and anxiety related symptoms – almost always without the need for long-term mental health treatment. Even children experiencing social cognitive challenges, like Autism Spectrum Disorder and Asperger Syndrome greatly benefit from the Approach, reducing the need for traditional mental health and medical interventions."
The book Transforming the Difficult Child: The Nurtured Heart Approach, by Howard Glasser, may be found here https://amzn.to/2r8mgij
Tony mentions a couple of podcasts in this episode, first is when he spoke with Pastor Chris Jung from Summit Christian Church in Lincoln, CA (http://mysummit.church) about the Nurtured Heart Approach, you can find that episode here https://www.tonyoverbay.com/2018/02/26/virtual-couch-podcast-episode-40-parenting-help-4-items-w-pastor-chris-jung-of-summit-church/
Tony also discussed the Nurtured Heart Approach on Rachel Nielson's 3 in 30 Takeaways for Mom's Podcast (http://3in30podcast.com) and that episode can be located here https://3in30podcast.com/captivate_podcast/praise/
Tony Overbay's new book, co-authored with author Joshua Shea (The Addiction Nobody Will Talk About: How I Let My Pornography Addiction Hurt People and Destroy Relationships https://amzn.to/2O0KxAd) He's A Porn Addict...Now What? An Expert and a Former Addict Answer Your Questions, is now available on Amazon, you can find it here https://amzn.to/2KylIcz
And you can find out more about Tony's pornography recovery program The Path Back by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to receive updates on upcoming programs, and podcasts.
The Virtual Couch is sponsored by http://Betterhelp.com/virtualcouch Betterhelp.com is the world's leading provider of online therapy. Their mission is to make professional counseling accessible, affordable, and convenient, so anyone who struggles with life's challenges can get help, anytime, anywhere. Head to http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch for 10% off your first month of services.
Rachel Nielson, the host of the popular podcast 3 in 30 Takeaways for Moms (http://3in30podcast.com) makes a return visit to The Virtual Couch to discuss the challenges of finding the right therapist for you, and/or your kids. Rachel talks about what first led her to therapy, and how a negative experience with her first therapist didn't stop her from continuing to find a therapist who could, and would, help her through some difficult times in her life.
Rachel and Tony cover how to find a good therapist, what a good fit looks like, how to transition from one therapist to another, and some of the challenges that still exist around the negative stigmas and stereotypes that surround going to therapy.
You can find Rachel's first visit to The Virtual Couch, where she talks about the difficulties, and blessings, of going through both In-vitro fertilization as well as open adoption at the same time, here https://www.tonyoverbay.com/2018/05/07/episode-54-in-vitro-fertilization-and-open-adoption-w-rachel-nielson-host-of-3-in-30-takeaways-for-moms/ And Rachel, along with another "Friend of the Couch" Amanda Packer, host of the About Progress Podcast, have a course for those interested in creating their own podcasts that you can learn more about here http://podcastuniversity.mykajabi.com/
Tony appeared twice on Rachel's podcast, first in the episode How to Praise Your Child When it Feels Like There is Nothing to Praise, with Tony Overbay, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist which can be found here https://3in30podcast.com/episodes/praise/
And then Tony appeared on an episode titled How to Earn (And Keep) Your Kid's Trust which you can find here https://3in30podcast.com/episodes/teens-trust/
Tony Overbay's new book, co-authored with author Joshua Shea (The Addiction Nobody Will Talk About: How I Let My Pornography Addiction Hurt People and Destroy Relationships https://amzn.to/2O0KxAd) He's A Porn Addict...Now What? An Expert and a Former Addict Answer Your Questions, is now available on Amazon, you can find it here https://amzn.to/2KylIcz
And you can find out more about Tony's pornography recovery program The Path Back by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to receive updates on upcoming programs, and podcasts.
The Virtual Couch is sponsored by http://Betterhelp.com/virtualcouch Betterhelp.com is the world's leading provider of online therapy. Their mission is to make professional counseling accessible, affordable, and convenient, so anyone who struggles with life's challenges can get help, anytime, anywhere. Head to http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch for 10% off your first month of services.
One of the requests that I receive the most is to do an episode on psychopaths vs. sociopaths or narcissists. In this episode, I cover all three, including a fascinating article in The Atlantic, "Life as a Nonviolent Psychopath" https://www.theatlantic.com/health/archive/2014/01/life-as-a-nonviolent-psychopath/282271/ where interviewer Judith Ohikuare talks to American neuroscientist Dr. James Fallon. Dr. Fallon is a professor of psychiatry and human behavior and emeritus professor of anatomy and neurobiology at the University of California, Irvine School of Medicine.
Dr. Fallon found an amazing discovery when he looked at functional brain scans of a control group for Alzheimer's research alongside scans of violent murderers. This discovery led him to write the book "The Psychopath Inside: A Neuroscientist's Personal Journey into the Dark Side of the Brain." https://amzn.to/33fozhN
I also reference Dr. Traci Stein's article from Psychology Today "Narcissist or Sociopath? Similarities, Differences and Signs" https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-integrationist/201608/narcissist-or-sociopath-similarities-differences-and-signs as well as an article that briefly describes the differences between a sociopath and a psychopath https://www.healthyplace.com/personality-disorders/psychopath/psychopath-vs-sociopath-what-s-the-difference
Tony Overbay's new book, co-authored with author Joshua Shea (The Addiction Nobody Will Talk About: How I Let My Pornography Addiction Hurt People and Destroy Relationships https://amzn.to/2O0KxAd) He's A Porn Addict...Now What? An Expert and a Former Addict Answer Your Questions, is now available on Amazon, you can find it here https://amzn.to/2KylIcz
And you can find out more about Tony's pornography recovery program The Path Back by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to receive updates on upcoming programs, and podcasts.
The Virtual Couch is sponsored by http://Betterhelp.com/virtualcouch Betterhelp.com is the world's leading provider of online therapy. Their mission is to make professional counseling accessible, affordable, and convenient, so anyone who struggles with life's challenges can get help, anytime, anywhere. Head to http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch for 10% off your first month of services.
One of the most unproductive phrases Tony hears in couples counseling is “I’m just playing Devil’s advocate?” Are you? Or are you trying to poke holes in your partner’s reality? Only the “devil” in this scenario truly knows, but regardless, there’s even a productive way to GET TO the playing of the role of “devil’s advocate” and that is by first creating an environment where you are able to hear your partner, truly hear them, and create an environment where they feel safe, heard, like they can trust you. THEN if you still feel the need to question the floor may in fact be open for questions AND your partner may be in a better position to entertain your questions.
Tony also gives the origin of the “Devil’s advocate” (hint, it was an actual position back in olden times!) as well as a few fun facts about Halloween. He also shares his favorite, yet most obnoxious, two-line joke, a holdover from the “Humor in Therapy” episode.
In this episode Tony gives an emotionally focused therapy (EFT) refresher from the folks at Goodtherapy.com you can find that here https://www.goodtherapy.org/learn-about-therapy/types/emotionally-focused-therapy He also shares the history of the term Devil’s Advocate, that can be found here https://www.phrases.org.uk/meanings/devils-advocate.html and the ever-classic two-line jokes from the Humor in Therapy episode of the Virtual Couch can be found at the Boredpanda.com site here https://www.boredpanda.com/funniest-two-line-jokes/
Tony Overbay's new book, co-authored with author Joshua Shea (The Addiction Nobody Will Talk About: How I Let My Pornography Addiction Hurt People and Destroy Relationships https://amzn.to/2O0KxAd) He's A Porn Addict...Now What? An Expert and a Former Addict Answer Your Questions, is now available on Amazon, you can find it here https://amzn.to/2KylIcz
And you can find out more about Tony's pornography recovery program The Path Back by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to receive updates on upcoming programs, and podcasts.
The Virtual Couch is sponsored by http://Betterhelp.com/virtualcouch Betterhelp.com is the world's leading provider of online therapy. Their mission is to make professional counseling accessible, affordable, and convenient, so anyone who struggles with life's challenges can get help, anytime, anywhere. Head to http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch for 10% off your first month of services.
Pastor Chris Jung of Summit Christian Church (http://mysummit.church), located in Lincoln, CA, joins Tony to discuss the challenges of discussing mental health-related topics such as anxiety, depression, and suicide in the faith community. The podcast begins with a one-on-one interview with Pastor Chris where he discusses his path toward church service, including his own mental health struggles that came with many of the challenges that he faced in leading both large and small youth and adult ministries across the country. Chris and Tony then spend some time discussing the topic of suicide, including the suicide of a couple of high-profile ministers over the past year. The give some very practical tips on how to talk about suicide with those around you and what to do if you believe someone may be experiencing suicidal thoughts or ideations.
After the interview, Tony includes the message from Summit Christian Church at approximately the 1:11 (one hour and eleven minute) mark.
If you, or someone that you know is struggling with suicidal thoughts or ideations please call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255. And Tony refers to the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention website where you can learn how to spot behaviors that may be warning signs of suicidal behavior https://afsp.org/
You can pre-order Tony's new book: He's a Porn Addict, Now What? An Expert and a Former Addict Answer Your Questions here https://msipress.com/product/hes-a-porn-addict-now-what-an-expert-and-a-former-addict-answer-your-questions/ And you can find out more about Tony's pornography recovery program The Path Back by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to receive updates on upcoming programs, and podcasts.
The Virtual Couch is sponsored by http://Betterhelp.com/virtualcouch Betterhelp.com is the world's leading provider of online therapy. Their mission is to make professional counseling accessible, affordable, and convenient, so anyone who struggles with life's challenges can get help, anytime, anywhere. Head to http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch for 10% off your first month of services.
Beckie Hennessy, LCSW joins Tony to talk about the Love and Logic parenting method. From the Love and Logic website https://www.loveandlogic.com/a/info/love-and-logic-parenting “Raise happy and well-behaved kids with positive, loving tools. The Love and Logic approach to parenting is built around the science of caring and respectful relationships. An authentic, loving connection between parents and their children forms the foundation of good behavior and healthy decision-making.
Sounds easy enough but never before in history have parents been faced with so many challenges! Our approach provides a variety of simple and effective strategies for parenting children from birth to adulthood. Whether you’re embarking for the first time with your new baby or navigating the turbulent teens with your child, our strategies and techniques will help you create calm and loving solutions."
Beckie was born and raised in West Valley City, Utah where she currently resides with her husband of 15 1/2 years and their 3 children. Beckie has been a therapist/coach since 2007 and currently owns BRICKS Family Counseling, Inc as well as Beckie Hennessy, LCSW, LLC. Beckie is an independent facilitator for Love and Logic. She has a podcast called The Path of Imperfection and has also written a book called Ministering Through Connection. Her best days are spent with her family as they watch movies together, blow bubbles in their chocolate milk and laugh until tears come. She loves to read, is a Pinterest addict and enjoys taking naps when she’s able.
IG: @beckie.hennessy.lcswFB: Beckie Hennessy, LCSWWebsite: beckiehennessy.comLove and Logic: loveandlogic.comhttps://www.loveandlogic.com/?gclid=CjwKEAjwiq-oBRC9gvHCsvDdn2cSJACV3DFR4eKtxmruJeQwAyrP7sSdBjQ2AUzkKa06lnm07uQBaxoC95rw_wcBBrene Brown on Boundarieshttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5U3VcgUzqiI&t=1s
You can pre-order Tony's new book: He's a Porn Addict, Now What? An Expert and a Former Addict Answer Your Questions here https://msipress.com/product/hes-a-porn-addict-now-what-an-expert-and-a-former-addict-answer-your-questions/ And you can find out more about Tony's pornography recovery program The Path Back by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to receive updates on upcoming programs, and podcasts.
The Virtual Couch is sponsored by http://Betterhelp.com/virtualcouch Betterhelp.com is the world's leading provider of online therapy. Their mission is to make professional counseling accessible, affordable, and convenient, so anyone who struggles with life's challenges can get help, anytime, anywhere. Head to http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch for 10% off your first month of services.
Elisabeth Mortensen, aka Eat, Squat, Mom returns to The Virtual Couch! Elisabeth talks about the four steps that she took to help her love her body, and Tony weaves in principals from Acceptance and Commitment Therapy into the steps. The steps she discusses not only apply to loving your body, or having a better body image, but also to embracing any sort of change in your life. You can read the original blog post here https://eatsquatmom.com/blog/posts/how-gain-love-your-body-and-your-weightAnd you can join Elisabeth's FREE 5 Day Challenge mentioned on the podcast THRIVING THROUGH THE HOLIDAY's, to help you combat the feeling of no control, while still enjoying the holidays. She will help you create your own personal fitness and nutrition plan to THRIVE during the holidays rather than just survive. No matter what your goal is, this challenge will help you navigate the holidays with a positive mindset and a PLAN OF ACTION to help you accomplish your goal! Click the link to register. The challenge starts on October 21st.You can pre-order Tony's new book: He's a Porn Addict, Now What? An Expert and a Former Addict Answer Your Questions here https://msipress.com/product/hes-a-porn-addict-now-what-an-expert-and-a-former-addict-answer-your-questions/ And you can find out more about Tony's pornography recovery program The Path Back by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to receive updates on upcoming programs, and podcasts.The Virtual Couch is sponsored by http://Betterhelp.com/virtualcouch Betterhelp.com is the world's leading provider of online therapy. Their mission is to make professional counseling accessible, affordable, and convenient, so anyone who struggles with life's challenges can get help, anytime, anywhere. Head to http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch for 10% off your first month of services.
Do you have kids, ever plan on having them, or were you once a kid yourself? Have you ever asked yourself at any time over the last few years, "What up with kids these days?" This episode will answer that question, and so many more! In this special bonus episode, Tony Overbay, LMFT, was interview by Tawni Beardall and Erica Peterson, hosts of the popular podcast "Becoming, A Podcast for Teens." The following description of this episode comes directly from their website https://becomingforteens.podbean.com/"Tony Overbay has always wanted to do a podcast episode just for teens...to give them a look inside the minds of their parents. Today he is doing just that for you! So often you may feel like your parents just don't get you! They might say things like "you can talk to me about anything" that you just don't quite believe, or know that doesn't always turn out to be a great discussion.Tony is a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist...with years of experience in therapy and is here to give YOU the tools to start to change the mood in your relationship with your parents. It definitely is something that takes effort from both sides...but did you know that you, as the teen, have more power than you might think to help train, and teach your parents to listen to you and hear you! Tony is here to help you figure out the answer to the question..."WHAT'S UP WITH YOUR PARENTS?!"There is still time to sign up for the free Epic Marriage Summit where Tony presented “Learn More About Your Spouse in 30 Days Than You Have in Your Entire Marriage.” The summit starts on Tuesday, October 8th and runs through October 10th. You can find out more by clicking here https://www.onthebrightersideofmarriage.com/epicmarriage?affiliate_id=1940080Visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to learn more about Tony's upcoming book: He's a Porn Addict, Now What? An Expert and a Former Addict Answer Your Questions. And you can find out more about Tony's pornography recovery program The Path Back by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.comThe Virtual Couch is sponsored by http://Betterhelp.com/virtualcouch Betterhelp.com is the world's leading provider of online therapy. Their mission is to make professional counseling accessible, affordable, and convenient, so anyone who struggles with life's challenges can get help, anytime, anywhere. Head to http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch for 10% off your first month of services.
Can the language one uses lead to a more successful diagnosis of a mental health condition than in talking with a therapist? What exactly is the “language of depression” and more importantly, what can we learn from it? In today’s episode Tony Overbay, LMFT, reviews an article by Mohammed Al-Mosaiwi, a Ph.D. candidate at the University of Reading, in Berkshire, United Kingdom called “People with depression use language differently - here’s how to spot it.” You can find the article here https://theconversation.com/people-with-depression-use-language-differently-heres-how-to-spot-it-90877
In this episode, Tony also talks about the Acceptance and Commitment principle called “Self as Context” and he reads an example from https://learningact.com/blog/2008/03/16/contacting-self-as-context/
There is still time to sign up for the free Epic Marriage Summit where Tony presented “Learn More About Your Spouse in 30 Days Than You Have in Your Entire Marriage.” The summit starts on Tuesday, October 8th and runs through October 10th. You can find out more by clicking here https://www.onthebrightersideofmarriage.com/epicmarriage?affiliate_id=1940080
Visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to learn more about Tony's upcoming book: He's a Porn Addict, Now What? An Expert and a Former Addict Answer Your Questions. And you can find out more about Tony's pornography recovery program The Path Back by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com
The Virtual Couch is sponsored by http://Betterhelp.com/virtualcouch Betterhelp.com is the world's leading provider of online therapy. Their mission is to make professional counseling accessible, affordable, and convenient, so anyone who struggles with life's challenges can get help, anytime, anywhere. Head to http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch for 10% off your first month of services.
I was asked to present at the Epic Marriage Summit, and my presentation is titled, "Learn More About Your Spouse in 30 Days Than In Your Entire Marriage!" You can watch it free, along with presentations by 32 other marriage experts from October 8th through the 10th by following this link.
In this special bonus episode, I interview the Epic Marriage Summit's coordinator, Monica Tanner, host of On the Brighter Side podcast. She talks about what went into creating the Summit, along with who is presenting, and what topics will be covered. From the events webpage, "
Uplevel Your Relationship in 30 Days in 30 Ways If your marriage was hanging on by a thread and your partner was about to cut it, how would you save your marriage in 30 days? Join us as 30+ marriage experts share their best secrets, knowledge, experience, processes and plans to transform their relationships in 30 days. Come away feeling empowered with all the tools you need to create the marriage of your dreams.
Tony Overbay, LMFT shares the results of a couple of studies that shed some light on why it can be more difficult, not impossible, for some men to develop empathy and what we all can do to be more empathetic. He then shares examples of how to truly listen to your partner, as well as more gaslighting examples, and tells how those can truly be the anti-empathy!Visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to learn more about Tony's upcoming book: He's a Porn Addict, Now What? An Expert and a Former Addict Answer Your Questions. And you can find out more about Tony's pornography recovery program The Path Back by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.comThe Virtual Couch is sponsored by http://Betterhelp.com/virtualcouch Betterhelp.com is the world's leading provider of online therapy. Their mission is to make professional counseling accessible, affordable, and convenient, so anyone who struggles with life's challenges can get help, anytime, anywhere. Head to http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch for 10% off your first month of services.
Brannon Patrick is an expert in the field of Betrayal Trauma, and he plays the role of "the Expert" in the popular podcast "The Betrayed, The Addict and The Expert." His podcast follows the recovery journey of Ashlynn and Coby, a couple who have been able to move forward as a result of the pain of betrayal and addiction. Brannon has developed several group systems and programs for addiction recovery. He has specialized training as a Certified Sexual Addiction Therapist (CSAT) which has helped him learn how to treat sexual addiction and betrayal trauma. Brannon is also trained in Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR), Dialectical Behavioral Therapy (DBT) and Cognitive Behavioral Therapy. Brannon is the co-clinical director and owner of TherapyUTAH and he has developed several programs to help individuals, and couples, heal from betrayal, as well as addiction.You can subscribe to the podcast wherever you get your podcasts, and you can learn more about Brannon, Ashlynn, and Coby at https://www.betrayedaddictedexpert.com/ and Brannon has additional materials and programs on his personal website https://www.brannonpatrick.com/Visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to learn more about Tony's upcoming book: He's a Porn Addict, Now What? An Expert and a Former Addict Answer Your Questions. And you can find out more about Tony's pornography recovery program The Path Back by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.comThe Virtual Couch is sponsored by http://Betterhelp.com/virtualcouch Betterhelp.com is the world's leading provider of online therapy. Their mission is to make professional counseling accessible, affordable, and convenient, so anyone who struggles with life's challenges can get help, anytime, anywhere. Head to http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch for 10% off your first month of services.
Kurt Francom, Executive Director of LeadingSaints.org, started the non-profit nine years ago hoping to simply provide a few additional tools to help members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints to become better lay-leaders in their church assignments (callings). Now, over the past nine years of existence, Leading Saints has connected Latter-day Saints to leadership principles through podcast episodes, written articles, and virtual conferences reaching individuals around the globe. Kurt shares the inspiration that led him to start LeadingSaints.org, some of the challenges that he's faced along the way.
Kurt, more comfortable in the interviewer role having hosted, and produced over 330 podcast episodes himself at the time of this recording, then shifts roles and asks Tony Overbay questions about addiction, specifically relating to pornography, as a preview of Kurt's latest global training, Liberating Saints, an online conference designed to help Latter-day Saints, and non Latter-day Saints alike, support and lead those who struggle with pornography. You can learn more about LeadingSaints and the Liberating Saints Virtual Summit by visiting http://leadingsaints.org
Tony's previous appearance on LeadingSaints.org, "The Bishop's Strongest Tools to Help Addicts, An Interview with Tony Overbay" can be heard here https://leadingsaints.org/the-bishops-strongest-tools-to-help-addicts-an-interview-with-tony-overbay/
Visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to learn more about Tony's upcoming book: He's a Porn Addict, Now What? An Expert and a Former Addict Answer Your Questions. And you can find out more about Tony's pornography recovery program The Path Back by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com
The Virtual Couch is sponsored by http://Betterhelp.com/virtualcouch Betterhelp.com is the world's leading provider of online therapy. Their mission is to make professional counseling accessible, affordable, and convenient, so anyone who struggles with life's challenges can get help, anytime, anywhere. Head to http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch for 10% off your first month of services.
Is laughter actually good for you? What if you feel like there isn't a lot of humor in your life? In this episode Tony covers the topic of humor from the therapist's point of view, by reviewing Laura Johnson, LMFT's article "Humor in Psychotherapy" https://positivepsychologynews.com/news/laura-lc-johnson/200906252693 as well as Helpguide.org's article "Laughter is the best medicine," https://www.helpguide.org/articles/mental-health/laughter-is-the-best-medicine.htmTony also reads the scientifically proven, funniest joke on the internet, as well as several other jokes that may cause you to release positive endorphins from the site Bored Panda https://www.boredpanda.com/funniest-two-line-jokes/ Plus, what can you do to gain a sense of humor?
Visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to learn more about Tony's upcoming book: He's a Porn Addict, Now What? An Expert and a Former Addict Answer Your Questions. And you can find out more about Tony's pornography recovery program The Path Back by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.comThe Virtual Couch is sponsored by http://Betterhelp.com/virtualcouch Betterhelp.com is the world's leading provider of online therapy. Their mission is to make professional counseling accessible, affordable, and convenient, so anyone who struggles with life's challenges can get help, anytime, anywhere. Head to http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch for 10% off your first month of services.
Ralphie Jacobs, the positive parenting expert from Simply on Purpose IG @simplyonpurpose and Tony Overbay, LMFT, share their top 5 parenting tips plus, Ralphie sings the Jacobs family song!
Visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to learn more about Tony's upcoming book: He's a Porn Addict, Now What? An Expert and a Former Addict Answer Your Questions.
The Virtual Couch is sponsored by http://Betterhelp.com/virtualcouch Betterhelp.com is the world's leading provider of online therapy. Their mission is to make professional counseling accessible, affordable, and convenient, so anyone who struggles with life's challenges can get help, anytime, anywhere. Head to http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch for 10% off your first month of services.
Is chronic pain your mentor, or your master? Nicole Alldredge and Aisley Johnson, co-authors of The Mindflight Journal, join Tony Overbay, LMFT on episode 152 of the Virtual Couch Podcast. The Mindflight Journal was created to help you not only track your health, medication, and symptoms, but also take care of your mind through gratitude, growth, and creativity. You can find them on Instagram @mindflightjournal on Facebook at https://www.facebook.com/mindflightjournal/ or by going directly to http://mindflightjournal.com Use the code "virtualcouch" to receive a discount on your copy.
Nicole and Aisley layout their own journeys in researching, understanding, diagnosing and ultimately learning not only to live but to thrive with chronic pain and illness. They discuss how raising your "emotional baseline" can help you live a more fulfilling life, even while struggling with chronic pain. They also give tips on the best way you can empathize with, and support anyone who is dealing with a chronic illness or chronic pain.
Nicole and Aisley created the Mindflight Journal with the following mission in mind:
Our mission is to help people with chronic illness or paito take care of their mind and body through journaling. It is through our own journey with chronic illness that we have learned how important it is to track your own health and focus on what you can change through learning, thinking and writing.
Having chronic illness and pain is a difficult trial, but we know it can have a refining effect. We hope that this journal brings you peace, helps you grow and gives you a spark of excitement each time you open its pages to see what it has in store for you each day
The Mindflight Journal has a two-page spread for every day and will last 120 days. A free bookmark comes with each journal that allows you to easily track your medications. Each journal is a cloth-covered, hardback book with a ribbon to mark your place.
For your health, each spread includes:
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a pain map
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health stats table
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medication table
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pain level scale
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symptoms/notes record
For your mind, each spread includes
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new quote
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unique, daily writing prompt
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daily challenge
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gratitude box
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to-do list
The Virtual Couch is sponsored by http://Betterhelp.com/virtualcouch Betterhelp.com is the world's leading provider of online therapy. Their mission is to make professional counseling accessible, affordable, and convenient, so anyone who struggles with life's challenges can get help, anytime, anywhere. Head to http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch for 10% off your first month of services.
Criticism, Contempt, Defensiveness and Stonewalling, also known by world renowned marriage researcher John Gottman as the Four Horsemen, are signs that your marriage may, or more likely is, in need of repair. Gottman, who, along with his wife Julie, run The Gottman Institute (http://gottman.com) a website for individuals, couples, parents and professionals alike that provides an incredible amount of information, and training, that "not only supports and repairs troubled marriages and committed relationships, but strengthens happy ones."
In this episode, Tony discusses Ellie Lisitsa's article from the Gottman website, "The Four Horsemen: Criticism, Contempt, Defensiveness, and Stonewalling." Learn why these communication styles can, according to Gottman's research, often predict the end of a relationship, and, more importantly, what you can do to be aware of these unhealthy styles, and what to do when you recognize them.
Tony also references the Virtual Couch episode 67, Rules of Konstructive Communication, which can be found by clicking here tonyoverbay.com.
Betterhelp.com is the world's leading provider of online therapy. Their mission is to make professional counseling accessible, affordable, and convenient, so anyone who struggles with life's challenges can get help, anytime, anywhere. Head to http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch for 10% off your first month of services.
Also visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up now to receive updates on exciting new programs designed to help you and your marriage. And visit http://pathbackrecovery.com to learn how to overcome turning to pornography as a coping mechanism once and for all!
Today we dive into the world of online therapy with Haesue Jo, a licensed marriage and family therapist, as well as the clinical support lead for Betterhelp.com. We discuss how Betterhelp.com was started, as well as what the client experience is like from the initial assessment through meeting with a licensed counselor. We tackle the pros and cons of online therapy, talk about financial aid, where online therapy is heading in the future, and we hear a couple of funny stories that can happen when people are doing therapy from the comfort of their own homes.
Betterhelp.com is the world's leading provider of online therapy. Their mission is to make professional counseling accessible, affordable, and convenient, so anyone who struggles with life's challenges can get help, anytime, anywhere. Head to http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch for 10% off your first month of services.
Have you ever bought a new car, and then all of a sudden felt like everybody was driving the same model? The same can be said for almost any type of purchase, or hairstyle, even some of the phrases that you say, right? (See what I did there, have you noticed everyone saying "right" after almost all of their sentences, even if you don't agree with them?). Most likely you're experiencing what psychologists call "Confirmation Bias." Simply put, confirmation bias is the tendency to search for, interpret, favor and recall information in a way that affirms one's beliefs or hypotheses (thank you Wikipedia!). In today's episode, Tony goes over Kendra Cherry's article from Verywellmind.com How Confirmation Bias Works (https://www.verywellmind.com/what-is-a-confirmation-bias-2795024). He also references Russ Harris' books The Happiness Trap (https://amzn.to/2ZeuPYm), and ACT Made Simple (https://amzn.to/2KJGDdb), as well as Sue Johnson's Love Sense (https://amzn.to/31S9wtd).
Today’s episode is sponsored by Betterhelp.com. Use the link http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch to receive 10 percent off your first month of Betterhelp.com's online counseling services featuring access to over 4,000 licensed therapists, who are available within 24 hours of your initial assessment. If you aren't comfortable with waiting rooms, or taking a chance on a therapist that you're not sure has the expertise that you are looking for, visit Betterhelp.com/virtualcouch and read the hundreds of reviews, or start the assessment process today and discover the world of online counseling, over 500,000 people are doing it to amazing results.
In part 2 of a 2 part episode on ADHD, Tony Overbay LMFT shares his own personal journey of living with undiagnosed, untreated ADHD as well as what led him to seek help, the process of receiving a diagnosis, and what life has been like since the diagnosis and treatment. This episode tackles issues around impulsivity, as well as what the alternatives are to medication, and much more. Tony mentions the book Driven to Distraction by Edward Hallowell, M.D. and John Ratey, M.D. https://amzn.to/2YWbeYQ in the episode, and the signs and symptoms of ADHD in this episode were read from https://www.helpguide.org/articles/add-adhd/adhd-attention-deficit-disorder-in-adults.htm
Today’s episode is sponsored by Betterhelp.com. Use the link http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch to receive 10 percent off your first month of Betterhelp.com's online counseling services featuring access to over 4,000 licensed therapists, who are available within 24 hours of your initial assessment. If you aren't comfortable with waiting rooms, or taking a chance on a therapist that you're not sure has the expertise that you are looking for, visit Betterhelp.com/virtualcouch and read the hundreds of reviews, or start the assessment process today and discover the world of online counseling, over 500,000 people are doing it to amazing results.
Tony’s daughter McKinley Overbay returns for her second appearance on The Virtual Couch. McKinley first appeared in episode 91 where she talked about battling teenage depression, opening up to friends, and how parents can help. Today she returns almost 9 months later to discuss 7 things that she has learned from her depression and anxiety, plus Tony and Mackie answer questions about mental health. You can see the post discussed by following McKinley on Instagram at @mckinleyoverbay
Today’s episode is sponsored by Betterhelp.com. Use the link http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch to receive 10 percent off your first month of Betterhelp.com's online counseling services featuring access to over 4,000 licensed therapists, who are available within 24 hours of your initial assessment. If you aren't comfortable with waiting rooms, or taking a chance on a therapist that you're not sure has the expertise that you are looking for, visit Betterhelp.com/virtualcouch and read the hundreds of reviews, or start the assessment process today and discover the world of online counseling, over 500,000 people are doing it to amazing results.
Tony shares his own personal journey of living with undiagnosed, untreated ADHD as well as what led him to seek help, the process of receiving a diagnosis, and what life has been like since the diagnosis and treatment. The signs and symptoms of ADHD in this episode were read from https://www.helpguide.org/articles/add-adhd/adhd-attention-deficit-disorder-in-adults.htm
Today’s episode is sponsored by Betterhelp.com. Use the link http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch to receive 10 percent off your first month of Betterhelp.com's online counseling services featuring access to over 4,000 licensed therapists, who are available within 24 hours of your initial assessment. If you aren't comfortable with waiting rooms, or taking a chance on a therapist that you're not sure has the expertise that you are looking for, visit Betterhelp.com/virtualcouch and read the hundreds of reviews, or start the assessment process today and discover the world of online counseling, over 500,000 people are doing it to amazing results.
Do you ever feel like you have an incredible amount of evidence behind your argument, yet your partner refuses to even listen? Today we take a look at Tali Sharot's work with "The Influential Mind" (available on Amazon) through her interview on Shankar Vedantam's The Hidden Brain podcast (https://www.npr.org/2019/07/18/743195213/facts-arent-enough-the-psychology-of-false-beliefs) as well as her interview with Gareth Cook, Understanding the Influential Mind, in The Scientific American https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/understanding-the-influential-mind/
Today’s episode is sponsored by Betterhelp.com. Use the link http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch to receive 10 percent off your first month of Betterhelp.com's online counseling services featuring access to over 4,000 licensed therapists, who are available within 24 hours of your initial assessment. If you aren't comfortable with waiting rooms, or taking a chance on a therapist that you're not sure has the expertise that you are looking for, visit Betterhelp.com/virtualcouch and read the hundreds of reviews, or start the assessment process today and discover the world of online counseling, over 500,000 people are doing it to amazing results.
If your spouse came up to you today and said, "what type of car do you think I would want to buy?" what would you say? Would you tell them what type of car you think they should want to buy? Or would you just assume you knew because of a couple of passive comments that you've heard them say about cars? Or would you need to put all of your own mental baggage aside and listen, ask questions and then listen more? If your answer was anything other than the last one, I would HIGHLY recommend you bring a little bit of awareness to your listening skills. In today's episode Tony talks about some of the situations that he sees in therapy that get in the way of good, productive couples conversations and then he gives an analogy of someone trying to buy a car...what type of salesman are you? The answer will say a lot about your listening skills.
Today’s episode is sponsored by Betterhelp.com. Use the link http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch to receive 10 percent off your first month of Betterhelp.com's online counseling services featuring access to over 4,000 licensed therapists, who are available within 24 hours of your initial assessment. If you aren't comfortable with waiting rooms, or taking a chance on a therapist that you're not sure has the expertise that you are looking for, visit Betterhelp.com/virtualcouch and read the hundreds of reviews, or start the assessment process today and discover the world of online counseling, over 500,000 people are doing it to amazing results.
Have you ever been so angry that you felt completely out of control? What if that feeling was one that you carried with you constantly? What if you didn’t even realize that there was another way to feel, and, once you realized that there was another way, a better way, was it too late to employ the tools that brought you to this realization. Today’s episode is about anger, anger management, and what that process looks like when it works. Too often people go through anger management counseling, or do group therapy around anger management simply to check off a box, sometimes literally, so they can go back to their lives of feeling justified by anger when they want to be and then wonder why when they are being nice, or nicer, people still aren’t comfortable around them. Today we’ll take a look at the “backside of anger,” or what anger management looks like, even when nobody else is looking. Jeff Kober's article on Disneydispatch.com on the backside of water can be found here http://www.disneydispatch.com/content/features/perfecting-the-customer-experience/what-meanest-the-backside-of-water/
Today’s episode is sponsored by Betterhelp.com. Use the link http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch to receive 10 percent off your first month of Betterhelp.com's online counseling services featuring access to over 4,000 licensed therapists, who are available within 24 hours of your initial assessment. If you aren't comfortable with waiting rooms, or taking a chance on a therapist that you're not sure has the expertise that you are looking for, visit Betterhelp.com/virtualcouch and read the hundreds of reviews, or start the assessment process today and discover the world of online counseling, over 500,000 people are doing it to amazing results.
Welcome to Holland! Please, take a look around, I know you thought you were heading to Italy or Hawaii, but since you're here, let's find a pair of wooden shoes and head over to the closest windmill...I think you'll grow to love the place! This episode is thanks to the essay "Welcome to Holland" by Emily Perl Kingsley. This episode is sponsored by Betterhelp.com. Use betterhelp.com/virtualcouch to receive 10 percent off your first month of Betterhelp.com's online counseling services featuring access to over 4,000 licensed therapists, who are available within 24 hours of your initial assessment. If you aren't comfortable with waiting rooms, or taking a chance on a therapist that you're not sure has the expertise that you are looking for, visit Betterhelp.com/virtualcouch and read the hundreds of reviews, or start the assessment process today and discover the world of online counseling, over 500,000 people are doing it to amazing results.
Tony cover's Bill Murphy's http://contact.billmurphyjr.com/ Inc. Magazine article: 7 Science-Backed Things You Must Do to Raise Successful Kids https://www.inc.com/bill-murphy-jr/want-to-raise-extremely-successful-kids-science-says-do-these-7-things-every-day.html He also refers to a couple of additional articles in the episode, one from Scientific American titled: Is Divorce Bad for Children https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/is-divorce-bad-for-children/ as well as a few additional studies on stay-at-home mom's that can be found on the Verywell Family website https://www.verywellfamily.com/research-stay-at-home-moms-4047911 And this episode is sponsored by Betterhelp.com. Use http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch to receive 10 percent off your first month of Betterhelp.com's online counseling services featuring access to over 4,000 licensed therapists, who are available within 24 hours of your initial assessment. If you aren't comfortable with waiting rooms, or taking a chance on a therapist that you're not sure has the expertise that you are looking for, visit Betterhelp.com/virtualcouch and read the hundreds of reviews, or start the assessment process today and discover the world of online counseling, over 500,000 people are doing it to amazing results.
“I know how you feel.” Do you really? While this phrase is well-meaning, can one truly understand what another is going through when each one of us is an entirely unique individual with only our own setup situations and circumstances that we bring to the table? After all, you are the only person in the history of the earth who has gone through exactly the situations that you have gone through based on the things that you have uniquely seen, done, experienced and felt up to this point in your life. Be it nature or nurture, DNA, birth order, rejection and abandonment issues, the set of friends that you have and all that they have gone through that have caused them to react in certain ways toward you. So is it even possible to truly have complete empathy for another? And, perhaps more importantly, how do you exercise your empathy skills? How do you develop your empathy muscles? Learn actual examples of empathetic phrases and more on today’s episode of The Virtual Couch. Laura Click’s Medium Article 31 Empathetic Statements for When You Don’t Know What to Say is quoted throughout this podcast. Her article can be found here https://medium.com/@lauraclick/31-empathetic-statements-for-when-you-dont-know-what-to-say-edd50822c96a
For more information on Tony Overbay please visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to hear more about exciting content coming in the areas of happiness, healthy marriages, parenting, and more. And if you’re struggling with pornography addiction or any type of compulsive sexual behavior, please visit Tony’s online recovery program, The Path Back, at http://pathbackrecovery.com
Gentlemen, guys, dudes, my brothers, it's time we take a step back and really look at what we're trying to accomplish in our marriages, in our relationships. What's your intention, is it to make our spouses, our kids, feel dumb when they try and communicate with us or is it to create an atmosphere where our kids and spouses feel like we are their rock, their secure place, their cheerleader, their wise old sage, their safe place? I need you to take a serious look in the mirror, own your part of your relationships and stop waiting for everybody else to do sometime, you have an incredible amount of power to not only improve your life but to watch your entire family system change for the better in the process. Let's do this!!
For more information visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up for my newsletter to hear more about upcoming programs and opportunities to improve yourself, your marriage, your parenting, to be the person who you, and your family, need you to be.
Everyone has mood swings, sometimes throughout a week, or a day, even within the span of a minute we can go from feeling like everything is right in the world, to wanting to crawl back in bed for the day. But does having regular ups and downs mean that you’re bipolar? Bipolar disorder is one of the most misunderstood diagnosis in the mental health field and the term “I’m bipolar” or “she’s being bipolar” is thrown around too casually, especially for people who are truly suffering with the disorder. On today’s episode, you’ll learn everything that you ever wanted to know, including several things that you didn’t even know you wanted to know, about bipolar disorder including what “mania” really looks like, are medications effective, and what is the difference between bipolar 1 and bipolar 2? Most of the research on today’s episode can be found at https://psychcentral.com/bipolar/ with a special thanks to Dr. John Grohol for his wealth of helpful information on the subject.
For more information on Tony Overbay please visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to hear more about exciting content coming in the areas of happiness, healthy marriages, parenting, and more. And if you’re struggling with pornography addiction, or any type of compulsive sexual behavior, please visit Tony’s online recovery program, The Path Back, at http://pathbackrecovery.com
My interview on Julie Lee's I See You Podcast. From Julie's show notes: "Joined by The Virtual Couch's Tony Overbay, today we are talking all about marriage! 'Seeing' your spouse with compassion and connection are key in saving a marriage. Tony, a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist is here to teach us about EFT, gas-lighting, and creating safe relationships." Julie was a guest on The Virtual Couch episode 123 where she talks about her own journey with battling anxiety and depression. Julie and I switched interviewer/interviewee roles a couple of weeks later and she asked me a lot of questions about what to do when your marriage is hurting? I highly recommend this episode for anyone who may be struggling in their marriages, or for anyone married, or in a relationship in general as we talk about a lot of concepts and tools that I believe would be helpful for anyone to know to have a healthier connection, and more quality communication, with a partner.
You can learn more about Julie by going to http://iseeyoupodcast.com or by simply subscribing to her amazing podcasts wherever you get your podcasts. And you can learn more about Tony at http://tonyoverbay.com, or his program to leave pornography behind once as for all, The Path Back, by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com
Dan Radin, CEO of Auxbus, joins Tony Overbay, LMFT on The Virtual Couch podcast to discuss what led Dan, a 15-year veteran of the audio industry, to venture out on his own and start a company with the lofty goal of creating an end-to-end podcasting platform that would help seasoned podcasters and newbie's alike sound like a professional?
Dan has more than 75 professional and consumer audio technology products under his belt, but Dan discovered a lot of pain in creating his own professional podcast… despite Dan himself being a giant audio nerd! This led Dan down a path of what it would take to combine his professional audio knowledge with the meteoric rise of people wanting to create podcasts who have little-to-no knowledge other than knowing they needed a microphone!
Dan and Tony also talk about the podcast industry in general, what it takes to produce quality content, why many podcasters fail and how much time is spent (maybe wasted) by new podcasters who don't understand what it takes to produce, edit and assemble a quality podcast.
Auxbus's mission is to develop technology that brings clarity to speech and makes audio content creation accessible to the world. Auxbus was founded in 2018 and is headquartered in Asheville, North Carolina, the Auxbus team shares a common goal of eliminating obstacles that stand between audio content creators and their audience. We’re helping you sound clever, conversational, creative, and in control of your audio – clearly.
With Auxbus, it’s never been easier—or faster—to capture the attention of your brand’s followers and add depth to your marketing. Our complete, end-to-end platform makes podcasting lightweight and approachable. You can learn more about Auxbus at http://auxbus.com
Visit http://tonyoverbay.com for more information Tony, or the Virtual Couch Podcast or http://pathbackrecovery for his online addiction recovery program.
Do you consider yourself a morning person, or a night owl? And who is more productive? More importantly, if you are a night owl but you want to become an early riser is that even possible? In this episode discover if the early bird, does, in fact, get the worm? And who performs better in school (hint, the grade point difference between night owls and early risers is BIG!), and at work, the morning person, or the night owl? I refer to the article "Can You Will Yourself to Be a Morning Person?" by Bryan Borzykowski http://www.bbc.com/capital/story/20141013-can-you-become-a-morning-person as well as Lisa Evan's article from Fast Company titled "Turns Out that Morning People Are More Productive Than Night Owls https://www.fastcompany.com/90279079/turns-out-that-morning-people-really-are-more-productive-than-night-owls
Visit http://tonyoverbay.com for more information Tony, or the Virtual Couch Podcast or http://pathbackrecovery for his online addiction recovery program.
Rob Winkler, 5th Planet Games, on Parasocial Relationships, Why the Game of Thrones Finale Feels Like a Breakup. Rob Winkler, Founder and Studio Lead of 5th Planet Games started writing a blog during the final season of HBO's Game of Thrones with a goal of sharing his thoughts with a co-worker or two. Rob's ramblings grew quickly as he mixed humor with an in-depth analysis of characters., and predictions of potential plot twists all wrapped up in an easy-to-understand writing style. Shortly after the show's finale, people started looking to Rob to help make sense of what was wrapped up, and what was still left unknown...but now, three weeks after the final episode Rob has yet to weigh in. Rob, as he has since discovered, was experiencing a parasocial relationship with the Game of Thrones characters. A parasocial interaction is a term coined in the '50s to refer to a psychological relationship experienced by fans of performers in the media, particularly those from television shows. Viewers begin to see the celebrities, or actors, as friends, and therefore the end of a show can represent the end of a friendship. Articles referenced in this episode can be found here https://www.nbcnews.com/pop-culture/tv/many-people-hated-game-thrones-series-finale-s-because-it-n1007906 and https://www.thoughtco.com/parasocial-relationships-4174479
You can learn more about Tony's program's for happiness, pornography recovery, pre-marriage counseling, couples communication and more at http://tonyoverbay.com or visit http://pathbackrecovery.com for more information on Tony's online pornography and compulsive sexual behavior recovery program that has helped hundreds of people put these unproductive behaviors behind them once and for all.
The phrase "gaslighting" is making the rounds lately, and with the increased awareness around the term, many people are accusing their spouses, parents, and co-workers of gaslighting them in all areas of life. A lot of times, the accuser is correct, by definition, meaning yes, the person they are accusing may be trying to convince them that what they are saying isn't true, but is gaslighting always intentional? Can gaslighting come from a place of simply being misunderstood or is it always calculated and malicious? In today's episode I cover an article on The Good Men Project's website called: 4 Levels of Gaslighting: From Unconscious to Malicious by Paget Norton, and I also give more listener examples of gaslighting.
You can learn more about Tony's program's for happiness, pornography recovery, pre-marriage counseling, couples communication and more at http://tonyoverbay.com or visit http://pathbackrecovery.com for more information on Tony's online pornography and compulsive sexual behavior recovery program that has helped hundreds of people put these unproductive behaviors behind them once and for all.
I wanted to go a bit off-script in this 2-part episode to talk about what it would look like if you were coming to see me to talk about pornography addiction. Is it an addiction? Why is it a big deal? Is it a big deal? OK, fine, I got caught, or maybe even I turned myself in, but isn’t that enough? So sure, I’ve tried to stop looking at pornography a few times in the past, maybe even A LOT of times in the past, so why can’t I? In part 1 I talk about the effects of “sexualization” young, how it can slightly, or even radically, adjust the course of your adolescent, and teen years, to often cause you to be a bit more hyper-focused on sexuality. I talk about how having desire is completely normal, it’s part of who we are as human beings, but how over-focusing on sexuality often comes at the cost of neglecting other areas of life, primarily relationships, health, faith, friendships, goals based on your own unique personal values, all areas that lead to a more well-rounded human experience. I have found that the desire to continually turn back toward the instant gratification of pornography and/or compulsive sexual behavior comes from a “lack of” or a “void” in one's life. You can’t simply address the impulsive behaviors if you want to put them behind you, you also need to be nourishing and building the other areas of life, based on the unique traits and talents that you bring to the table.
You can learn more about my pornography addiction recovery program, The Path Back, at http://pathbackrecovery.com and more about the podcast at http://tonyoverbay.com
Dr. Kevin Pugh joins Tony to talk about Transformative Experiences in education. Dr. Pugh, a high school friend of Tony's, is one of the pioneers in the field of Transformative Experience Theory, which is a belief that “life is about having rich experiences and the things we learn in school should enrich and expand our everyday experience outside of school.” The Transformative Experience Theory focuses on how in-school learning can enrich out-of-school experience by expanding perception, contributing meaning and value to future experiences, and how learning should be transforming our relationship with the world. It combines ideas from John Dewey’s theory of aesthetics and his philosophy of education. Transformative experiences occur when students take ideas outside the classroom and use them to see and experience the world in exciting new ways. Dr. Pug is a professor in the School of Psychological Sciences at the University of Northern Colorado. Kevin’s book Computers, Cockroaches, and Ecosystems: Understanding Learning Through Metaphor, can be purchased here https://amzn.to/2qYEkbp Kevin’s blog can be found at https://learningandexperienceblog.wordpress.com
More about Tony, or the Virtual Couch podcast can be found at http://tonyoverbay.com and you can find more information on Tony's pornography recovery program, The Path Back, at http://pathbackrecovery.com
One of the popular messages shared by both therapists and media alike is that we are supposed to be in complete control of our own emotions before, or even IF we then turn to others and that it is necessary to love yourself first and only THEN will someone else be able to love you. But according to Dr. Sue Johnson, founder of the highly successful evidence-based couples therapy model, Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT), our new knowledge “stands that message on its head.” Dr. Johnson, in her latest book, Love Sense https://amzn.to/2RYEwq6, The Revolutionary New Science of Romantic Relationships, says that “we are designed to deal with emotion in concert with another person, not by ourselves.” Tony breaks down attachment issues at their very beginning, when we’re born, and then builds on why it is so important to have a secure attachment as a base to operate from in order to be more successful in navigating the complex world of human relationships. “We have cracked the code of love,” says Dr. Johnson.
Tony's new best selling book "He's a Porn Addict...Now What? An Expert and a Former Addict Answer Your Questions" is now available on Kindle. https://amzn.to/38mauBo-Tony Overbay, is the co-author of "He's a Porn Addict...Now What? An Expert and a Former Addict Answer Your Questions" now available on Amazon https://amzn.to/33fk0U4. The book debuted in the number 1 spot in the Sexual Health Recovery category and remains there as the time of this record. The book has received numerous positive reviews from professionals in the mental health and recovery fields.-The book tackles tough questions with answers from both the expert and the addict's point of view. Tony, a licensed marriage and family therapist, and creator of The Path Back, an online pornography addiction recovery program that has helped hundreds of people overcome turning to pornography and other compulsive sexual behaviors as a coping mechanism, and Joshua Shea, former addict, and author of the book “The Addiction Nobody Will Talk About” read their respective answers to questions such as "Finding out he's addicted to porn has turned me off to sex completely, what should I do?" And "How much do we tell the kids?" And "Does this mean that God is mad at me, or doesn't love me?"-Reviews include: "This is the most helpful book for porn addicts and the people who (still) love them. One of the most courageous and timely books to help with a widespread and almost never talked about epidemic that is ruining marriages, careers, and lives. It will give hope to millions of people who are addicted to pornography. -- Mark Goulston, MD, FAPA, Author of Just Listen Discover the Secret to Getting Through to Absolutely Anyone.-You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program The Path Back by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to receive updates on upcoming programs, and podcasts.-The Virtual Couch is sponsored by http://Betterhelp.com/virtualcouch Betterhelp.com is the world's leading provider of online therapy. Their mission is to make professional counseling accessible, affordable, and convenient, so anyone who struggles with life's challenges can get help, anytime, anywhere. Head to http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch for 10% off your first month of services.
Why are some days just harder to get started than others? Do you sometimes feel like your brain is enveloped in a fog? Have you ever wondered where your migraines come from? Why do some treatments work for one patient but not for others for what appears to be the same symptoms? Dr. Adam Harcourt is the owner of Imagine X Functional Neurology and a highly decorated Professor of Clinical Neurology at the Carrick Institute for Graduate Studies. Dr. Harcourt has developed his own novel Migraine and Concussion treatment programs based on the latest research (some of which is his own) and he travels the world instructing doctors on how to treat these, and many other brain-related conditions.
Dr. Harcourt and Tony cover migraines, concussions, as well as brain fog, headaches, they discuss diet (what role does caffeine play in brain health?) and Dr. Harcourt provides listeners with simple eye exercises and brain games that you can play to help keep your brain feeling alive and engaged. You can learn more about Dr. Harcourt, and his work at http://ixneuro.com and he will soon be releasing a book on how to properly treat migraines. You can find more information on Tony and his programs at http://tonyoverbay.com, and to learn more about Tony’s strength-based pornography recovery program please visit http://pathbackrecovery.com
If you have access to anyone under the age of 25 in your life, ask them about “reaction videos” and then watch their own reactions! Whether you love watching old people react to rap videos, or your favorite actor or musician react to people watching them perform, sites like YouTube are full of these reaction videos. Tony first answers a question about why it takes longer than 21 days to truly create a new habit (and where that myth comes from), and then he dives into the research behind reaction videos before creating his own reaction video! Tony reacts to a popular article making the rounds in the therapeutic community titled “Why Do People Lie to their Therapists?” by Sue Kolod, PhD.
You can see the video on the Virtual Couch YouTube channel, or there will be links from the Virtual Couch or the Tony Overbay Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist Facebook pages, or by visiting tonyoverbay.com. And please take a second to subscribe, rate and review the podcast wherever you listen to podcasts. And you can find out more about Tony’s “The Path Back” program at pathbackrecovery.com
Have you ever felt like everything was going right in your relationship? You are laughing, communicating well, when all of a sudden the mood has dramatically shifted? What just happened? Chances are you’ve rubbed up against a “raw spot” in the relationship. According to Dr. Sue Johnson, founder of Emotionally Focused Therapy, almost all of us have at least one hypersensitivity, or “raw spot” that, when rubbed in a relationship, can cause immediate feelings of emotional detachment, hurt, and abandonment. Learn how to spot the raw spots in your relationships, and, more importantly, how to heal them. Tony refers to Helena Madsen’s article “Living with Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde,” in the podcast. https://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/chronic-illness-hypersensitivity-relationships/
For many, a faith community, or religious congregation, is a safe place to return regularly to be spiritually fed before heading back to an often chaotic world. But what happens when that previously “safe” community begins to feel like a place where one is no longer welcome? Is the problem with the individual, or with the community, or congregation? If you are a parent to someone who is experiencing a faith crisis, what do you do? Are there certain things that you say that seem to trigger emotional responses that appear to come out of nowhere? If you’re the one experiencing the “faith crisis” how do you communicate with your family or faith community?
Tony explores this topic from a variety of angles, from empathy, and Christlike love, to explore what it means to judge righteously, and why identifying as someone more connected to Truth, Beauty, or Goodness matters? And finally, Tony discusses James Fowler’s Stages of Faith, and how understanding where you are, or where a loved one may be, can help bring more peace, and understanding, into a relationship where a belief system is at the core of the disagreements.
Have you ever heard the phrase “Happy Wife, Happy Life?” As cliched as it sounds, there may actually be some data to back it up. A study published in the Los Angeles Times in the late ’90s, that has since been built upon, shares that the key to a strong marriage is for a husband to be willing to accept his wife’s influence. Tony talks about why simply “active listening” is not enough, and how this study, published by the Gottman Institute, paved the way for more of the evidence-based marriage therapy programs like John Gottman’s own work in empathy and understanding, as well as how this work affected modalities like Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) for couples.
The article referenced in the podcast can be found here
https://www.latimes.com/archives/la-xpm-1998-feb-21-mn-21412-story.html more information on John and Julie Gottman can be found at http://gottman.com and more information on Tony, and the Virtual Couch podcast can be found at http://tonyoverbay.com
Visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to learn more about Tony's upcoming book: He's a Porn Addict, Now What? An Expert and a Former Addict Answer Your Questions. And you can find out more about Tony's pornography recovery program The Path Back by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com
The Virtual Couch is sponsored by http://Betterhelp.com/virtualcouch Betterhelp.com is the world's leading provider of online therapy. Their mission is to make professional counseling accessible, affordable, and convenient, so anyone who struggles with life's challenges can get help, anytime, anywhere. Head to http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch for 10% off your first month of services.
Tony Overbay interviews Julie Lee, Host of the “I See You” podcast and author of the children’s book Broccolipunzle: A Fractured Fairytale. Julie talks about her personal journey with anxiety and depression. Julie grew up in a family of six children, with a father who battled bipolar disorder. She never thought that she would deal with mental illness until one day she found herself in the middle of a panic attack at the beginning of her teaching career. That initial panic attack led her back home to confront her own internal demons. Julie fought the stigma of mental illness, medication, and dealing with childhood issues to eventually find herself loving life again. Julie acknowledges that she may always be susceptible to those feelings of anxiety and depression moving forward, but she has a much clearer view of who she is as a person, and how self-compassion and connection will ultimately lead her to a more fulfilling, peace-filled life. You can learn more about Julie at https://iseeyoupodcast.com/home
Tired of negative patterns of communication in your marriage, or in relationships in general? Well, today is your lucky day! Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) is a structured approach to couples therapy based on the science of adult attachment and bonding that has mounds of research behind it. Studies find that 70-75% of couples move from distress to recovery, and approx 90% show significant improvements. One of the first things you’ll need to do is find where you are in the Demon Dialogues? Do you and your spouse try to “Find the Bad Guy?” Or are you firmly doing the “Protest Polka?” You need to figure this out before reaching the “Freeze and Flee” which can ultimately lead feelings that the marriage isn’t salvageable. Learn more about these patterns and how to avoid them. Tony references Dr. Sue Johnson’s article http://drsuejohnson.com/where-does-love-go-wrong/ and pulls from http://iceeft.com
Amy Twiggs is a sports performance coach who works with athletes, from beginners to professionals, in the field of mental coaching. Amy shares how to build confidence as an athlete, as well as what parents, and coaches, need to know in order to get the most from an athlete while still helping the athlete figure out who they are, and what they want from life, and from their sport. Amy is the host of the Flippin' Awesome Coaching for Athletes podcast. Amy is a former elite gymnast and national team member, she graduated from Stanford with a degree in psychology. Amy focuses on health and development, as well and performance and confidence. Amy has been working specifically with athletes for the past 15 years. You can find Amy at http://amytwiggs.com http://flippinawesomecoaching.com
Gaslighting is a form of control, which comes from the 1938 play Gas Light (later made into a film, starring Ingrid Bergman). The victims of gaslighting often bring things up to a partner that they believe to be true, only to end a conversation with...
Emanuel Petrisor has been an ICU nurse for almost 20 years. His family immigrated from Romania when he was 5, and Emanuel discovered a love for history after coming to America. He initially went to school to become a teacher, but when he was 18, his...
Tony Overbay, LMFT, interviews Christine Hammond, LMHC, on the Virtual Couch Podcast to discuss borderline personality disorder (BPD). They discuss what a personality disorder is, the difference between narcissism and borderline personality disorder,...
Sexuality and Relationship Counselor Dr. Jennifer Finlayson-Fife makes her 2nd appearance on the podcast to talk about what to do if you no longer find your partner physically attractive, as well as how to communicate in a relationship where one partne...
The way we interact with our current partners, children, or even work colleagues has a lot to do with how we attached to our primary caregivers as children. And understanding these “attachment styles” can ultimately lead to better relationships...
Kim Partridge, aka “Coach Kimmie” has been a registered nurse for 25 years and she doubles as a life coach dedicated to helping girls with teenage anxiety, and confidence issues. Tony and Kim talk about the book "Enough As She Is" by Rachel...
Worried that your "picker" is broken after going through a divorce or a bad break up? Is your fear of another relationship failure causing you to want to give up on finding the relationship that you have always dreamed of? Tony breaks down Freud's "repetition compulsion" and how your parents are actually messing up your relationships now, and in the future. Dr. Stephen Diamond's article "Essential Secrets of Psychotherapy: Repetitive Relationship Patterns" is the muse for this episode.
Visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to learn more about Tony's upcoming book: He's a Porn Addict, Now What? An Expert and a Former Addict Answer Your Questions. And you can find out more about Tony's pornography recovery program The Path Back by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com
The Virtual Couch is sponsored by http://Betterhelp.com/virtualcouch Betterhelp.com is the world's leading provider of online therapy. Their mission is to make professional counseling accessible, affordable, and convenient, so anyone who struggles with life's challenges can get help, anytime, anywhere. Head to http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch for 10% off your first month of services.
HEADS UP! ATTENTION! Please listen to this episode if you or ANYONE in your life has struggled with addiction. This episode contains an interview Tony did primarily targeted for LDS bishops (congregational leaders of the Church of Jesus Christ of...
The more the word “narcissist” gets thrown around, the more chances there are to use the term incorrectly. Tony gives the diagnostic criteria for NPD and then discusses sociology PhD Kristen Milstead’s article “8 Types of Narcissists.” What...
Navigating a break up can be incredibly difficult, leaving you feeling blindsided, emotionally triggered by every smell, sound, and place that you go. And what about the pain? You feel like your heart is literally breaking! Did you know that brain...
Brooke Romney is a writer, speaker, and a mother of 4 very active boys. A couple of years ago she wrote an article called “Repeat After Me, My Child is Not Perfect and Neither is Yours” which struck a chord with parents everywhere. She thought if...
Can playing board games revive your marriage, or find you a partner? Why will men suddenly be carrying paintbrushes around in their pockets when trying to meet women? Tony dissects a recent Baylor University study that says “Couples Creating Art or Playing Board Games Release ‘Love Hormone’ - but Men who Paint Release Most.” What is the ‘love hormone’ (hint, it’s called oxytocin) and what is the science behind why it’s given such a promising nickname?
Visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to learn more about Tony's upcoming book: He's a Porn Addict, Now What? An Expert and a Former Addict Answer Your Questions. And you can find out more about Tony's pornography recovery program The Path Back by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com
The Virtual Couch is sponsored by http://Betterhelp.com/virtualcouch Betterhelp.com is the world's leading provider of online therapy. Their mission is to make professional counseling accessible, affordable, and convenient, so anyone who struggles with life's challenges can get help, anytime, anywhere. Head to http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch for 10% off your first month of services.
According to John Kim, aka “The Angry Therapist,” we are not born men. We are born boys. The transition from misery to meaning is an internal process that requires work: reflection, pain, courage, and sometimes, a rebirth. Kim knows because he’s been there. The truth is, men weren’t meant to just pay bills and die. With his book "I Used to Be a Miserable F*ck" as your guide, you will love hard, walk tall, and find a life filled with purpose and passion. Kim's can be found at theangrytherapist.com
Visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to learn more about Tony's upcoming book: He's a Porn Addict, Now What? An Expert and a Former Addict Answer Your Questions. And you can find out more about Tony's pornography recovery program The Path Back by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com
The Virtual Couch is sponsored by http://Betterhelp.com/virtualcouch Betterhelp.com is the world's leading provider of online therapy. Their mission is to make professional counseling accessible, affordable, and convenient, so anyone who struggles with life's challenges can get help, anytime, anywhere. Head to http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch for 10% off your first month of services.
Dr. Molly Parker’s life changed dramatically when a car ran up on the sidewalk and hit her and many others leaving her with severe post-concussion syndrome and a sensorimotor disorder for 7 years. A physical therapist herself, she saw over 70...
Tony was interviewed on the Marriage Thereoke podcast where Rich and Celeste Davis, from marriagelaboratory.com dive deep into the lyrics of Carly Simon's "You're So Vain," which leads to a discussion on narcissism. Then they welcome Tony to share thoughts on what to do if you're in a relationship with a narcissist, what the term "gaslighting" means, and he answers the question of where narcissism comes from. Then Rich re-writes the song from a therapists POV when a narcissist comes to couples therapy!
Tony interviews Nikki Eisenhauer, International Life Coach, Psychotherapist and host of the award-winning podcast Emotional Badass about her experiences as, and working with Highly Sensitive People (HSP). Some estimates say that 10-15% of the...
When is it OK to quit? When do you finally pull the plug on the job you aren’t satisfied with, the relationship that appears to be going nowhere or the school that you always dreamed of attending? Tony refers to the work of Peg Streep and the...
Tony interviews Tyler and Andrea Davis, creators of Betterscreentime.com on positive screentime strategies for parents and teens. They've spent a considerable amount of time studying the latest research, interviewing intentional parents, and testing...
Is multitasking a myth or are some people able to spread themselves thin and thrive? And what do you do with your time? Do you value an extra minute, or a few seconds? Tony first tackles time, motivated by the poem “Time in Perspective,”...
You can do this! What is this? Whatever you’re going through right now, and this isn’t your typical “you can do anything you put your mind to” speech. This is an episode to be returned to, an episode designed to help you understand where your...
Tony interviews Elisabeth Mortensen, better known as Eat Squat Mom (Instagram @eat.squat.mom). From Elisabeth's website http://eatsquatmom.com "I have been on many fitness journeys over the last eight years and have striven for perfection each time. I...
Can going to a movie be a bonding experience? Do you think that sitting next to your partner on your phone/computer while they watch something on TV is good enough? Tony dives into studies that show that connection, even in the mundane trumps...
It’s New Year’s Resolution time! Does that bring a feeling of fear, or excitement to your brain? Tony weaves acceptance and commitment therapy into 5 evidence-based ways to make your resolutions stick once and for all! Learn how your values must...
Caitlin Markham, AMFT makes her second appearance on The Virtual Couch podcast. Tony and Caitlin discuss problematic dating trends for young adults and how advances in technology have hindered the progression of healthy relationships. Caitlin explains...
Part 2 of Tony’s podcast on teaching empathy. Are women more empathetic than me? The answer may surprise you. Tony discusses 5 more evidence-based methods for teaching, modeling and nurturing empathy from Gwen Dewar, Ph.D’s excellent article from...
More Marriage Tips! Tony Overbay, the host of the Virtual Couch Podcast, talks in more detail about Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy (EFT) as a guest on the Live from Love Podcast with Life Coach Amanda Louder. Tony explains how this evidence-based...
Empathy has become a big buzzword over the past few years, and, chances are you’ve wondered if your spouse, your kids, or your boss lacks empathy altogether? Or are you the one you’re worried about? In part 1 of 2, Tony looks at the 3 components...
Reed Ward, a licensed educational psychologist (LEP) and school psychologist, shares how educational testing and assessments for autism, dyslexia, ADHD, and various learning disabilities are beneficial in helping understand a student's individual...
Tony is joined by his daughter McKinley Overbay to discuss her recent Instagram post on World Mental Health Day in which she discussed her life 6 months after opening up to friends about her depression and anxiety. In the post she shares that despite...
We often hear that we need to be more grateful in order to truly be happy. Is gratitude simply born of pop-psychology psychobabble or is it actually an evidence-based way to improve our lives? Tony discusses Amy Morin’s Forbes article “7...
From the National Domestic Abuse Hotline (thehotline.org) “I never said that. You’re making things up again.” “Are you sure? You tend to have a bad memory.” “It’s all in your head.” Does your partner repeatedly say things like this to...
Dr. Laura Sparrow discusses her stillbirth story, losing her baby at 35 weeks and how she has been able to move forward despite daily reminders of her loss. She shares the most helpful ways that others helped her during her difficult time, as well as...
Tony lost his voice, which leads to a very short podcast. He reads the poem Our Deepest Fear by Marianne Williamson and discusses how it’s not the fear of being inadequate that holds one back, but the fear that we truly are powerful. Because if the...
Christine Hammond, the host of the podcast Understanding Today’s Narcissist, joins Tony to discuss personality disorders, particularly narcissism. Research estimates that 15% of people have a type of personality disorder. What is a personality...
Tony’s interview on The Joyful Soul Project. From thejoyfulsoulproject.com Pornography is affecting marriages and families throughout the world. Heidi interviews Tony Overbay, a marriage and family therapist who has worked with countless individuals...
Dr. Rebecca Williams, PhD and Julie Kraft, LMFT discuss their new book The Gift of Recovery - 52 Mindful Ways to Live Joyfully Beyond Addiction. The book not only provides tools for recovery from any addiction, but it also teaches 52 in-the-moment...
How do you begin hard conversations with a spouse? Can you truly overcome pornography addiction? Will the World Health Organization’s diagnosis of Compulsive Sexual Behavior Disorder (CSBD) lead more people to seek help from continually turning to...
Ralphie Jacobs, whose popular Instagram account SimplyOnPurpose has a following (at this posting) of nearly 80,000 followers, joins me to talk about Positive Parenting. Ralphie, a mother of 4 girls, has a background in early childhood education. She moved from teaching children to teaching parents, as she felt a calling to teach people how to use their power as a parent to create a life full of purpose. Ralphie discusses the challenges of trying to stay positive when our kids are doing all that they can to push our buttons, and she answers some difficult parenting questions on the topics of homework, eating, procrastination and more. You can find Ralphie on Instagram at simplyonpurpose or at her Facebook page here on at her website here.
Physical attraction may be enough to initially bring a couple together but is it enough to sustain a relationship when you feel disconnected emotionally, spiritually, or intellectually? Or how about when you feel like anything you say to each other is a trigger for an argument? Learn how to form a more healthy view of intimacy, beginning with psychological intimacy, verbal intimacy, emotional intimacy and more. Discover how to make physical intimacy the natural byproduct of a strong connection.
Today’s episode is sponsored by Betterhelp.com. Use the link http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch to receive 10 percent off your first month of Betterhelp.com's online counseling services featuring access to over 4,000 licensed therapists, who are available within 24 hours of your initial assessment. If you aren't comfortable with waiting rooms, or taking a chance on a therapist that you're not sure has the expertise that you are looking for, visit Betterhelp.com/virtualcouch and read the hundreds of reviews, or start the assessment process today and discover the world of online counseling, over 500,000 people are doing it to amazing results.
What does it mean to be authentic? Have you ever run across someone who kisses up to a boss, but the moment the boss leaves, he or she begins to complain about them? Is that someone that you’re drawn to? Are you that person? Brene Brown, author of books such as Rising Strong, and Daring Greatly says authenticity is the antidote to shame, that it’s “a collection of choices that we have to make every day. It’s about the choice to show up and be real. The choice to be honest. The choice to let our true selves be seen.” Authenticity, despite what some believe, leads to more connection, not less. In this episode Tony also refers to the article 5 Powerful Lessons About Authenticity that Everybody Needs to Hear by Madeline Fry.
You can learn more about Tony's program's for happiness, pornography recovery, pre-marriage counseling, couples communication and more at http://tonyoverbay.com or visit http://pathbackrecovery.com for more information on Tony's online pornography and compulsive sexual behavior recovery program that has helped hundreds of people put these unproductive behaviors behind them once and for all.
Nate Christensen, APCC, shares his personal journey in living with depression and shares his "Ten Commandments of Managing Depression." Depression is a diagnosable mental illness and treatment is available! Depression is estimated to affect up to...
Plenty of well-meaning people in our lives try and motivate us by saying, "Just choose to be happy every day!" But why, then, isn't it that easy? Why when many people try and choose to be happy, do they actually end up feeling worse? If you've ever...
Nikki's Story of Betrayal, Divorce, Parenting, A New Career, Loss of a Parent, and Adoption and How She Found Happiness in "The Hard."
Tony breaks down the dreaded “Demon Dialogues” from Sue Johnson’s book, Hold Me Tight: Seven Conversations for a Lifetime of Love, THE go-to couples guide to Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy. Whether you and your partner engage in “Find the Bad Guy,” the “Protest Polka” or “Freeze and Flee” or at times, all of the above, discover tools to help you move past these communication blocks that can ruin relationships. He also discusses the Five Elements of a Complete Apology, as well as how to avoid a Token Apology.
Tony uses acceptance and commitment therapy (ACT) to explain how holding onto our fears, worries, and anxieties can get in the way of progress. He uses the “ACT in a nutshell metaphor” from Russ Harris’s book ACT Made Simple and he shares the...
Are you a good listener? Studies show that you most likely believe that you are, even if your listening skills are rooted in pop-psychology, with no real evidence to back them up. Learn What Great Listeners Actually Do from an article in the Harvard...
Ryan Walton, creator of daringtodad.com shares his discovery of Meniere's disease late in life and how it almost cost him his hearing, and how he helped his wife navigate through two miscarriages before finally getting pregnant. Ryan also talks about tour
Tony Overbay, LMFT, gives examples of ways to cultivate better communication with your kids, teens, and spouse by leading with empathy. He gives specific examples, and phrases of how to sit in a communication and show empathy even when all you want to...
Jody Moore, host of the Better Than Happy Podcast, and popular life coach is teaching a series of free webinars focused on how to deal with difficult family members. Visit jodymoore.com/free for more information. In this bonus episode, Tony and...
Anthony Esteves, Cohost of the Capeless Crusaders Podcast, Writer/Contributor/Film Enthusiast for Latino Review Media discusses his personal journey in dealing with the suicides of his uncle, and his cousin. Despite the events happening almost 20...
What is your integrity worth? Is it worth a couple of dollars that you'll save by selecting a child's ticket for a movie when your child is actually 27 and living at home? What is the difference between character, and integrity, and how do you develop...
Couples therapist Tony Overbay, LMFT, shares his Rules Of Constructive Kommunication (ROCK). These 6 rules are designed to help couples move past unproductive conversations around “hot topics” that typically lead to frustration, fighting and...
Charles Gazaway is a former professional basketball player/kidney & pancreas transplant survivor. He discusses mentoring youth, looking beyond race on the court, and coaching to individual needs.
What is more important, self-discipline, or IQ? And imagine you go to sleep tonight and wake up tomorrow and during the night a miracle happened. When you woke up your life now looked more like the life you always dreamed of. How do you feel, what...
Tony Overbay interviews Jeff Adamec on the topic of PTSD the negative stigma associated with discussing mental health challenges in the military. Jeff served in the United States Army as a Ranger and a Special Forces Green Beret for 18 years. He had 6...
Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) is an evidence-based model that uses acceptance of one’s thoughts in combination with powerful mindfulness tools, as well as commitment and behavior-change strategies to increase psychological flexibility. ACT...
Tony Overbay and Jonathan Alva discuss the book How to Raise an Adult: Break Free of the Overparenting Trap and Prepare Your Kid for Success by Julie Lythcott-Haims. Julie Lythcott-Haims served as dean of freshmen and undergraduate advising at...
Despite the fact that over 100 people commit suicide in the US alone on a daily basis, we don’t often hear enough about resources for those who are having suicidal thoughts until a high profile celebrity tragically turns to suicide. In this episode, Tony addresses some of the myths around talking about suicide and then gives suggestions and tools for those who may be experiencing suicidal thoughts or ideations or for anyone who may be dealing with a loved one who is experiencing suicidal thoughts. For anyone who needs help, please immediately call the Suicide Prevention Lifeline (800) 273-8255 or visit https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/ On this episode Tony also mentions the following people, websites, and stories: Kevin Hines story http://www.kevinhinesstory.com/ Tim Ferris’s article on his experience with suicidal thoughts https://tim.blog/2015/05/06/how-to-commit-suicide/ in the episode I also recommend reading almost any of the 1100 plus comments, many from suicide survivors. The BeThe1To movement can be found here http://www.bethe1to.com/ There are a lot of good resources for parents and teens on talking to their kids, and friends, about suicide. And there is a tremendous amount of good information at http://suicide.org
In this bonus episode, Tony Overbay was a guest on Rachel Nielson’s podcast 3 in 30 Takeaways for Moms. Rachel titled the episode “How to Praise Your Child When if Feels Like There Is Nothing to Praise.” Tony discusses the Nurtured Heart Approach and the four ways of positive acknowledgment. Tony and Rachel then discuss how to work through difficult parenting moments, and how to immediately shift the momentum in the home to help keep parents feeling more in control, while building up a child’s “inner wealth” without having the child feel like they have no consequences. Rachel does a fantastic job boiling down a topic to, in this case, 4 takeaways in around 30 minutes. Search for “3 in 30 Takeaways for Mom” on Apple Podcasts or wherever you listen to podcasts or you can link directly to the episode here http://3in30podcast.com/praise/
Procrastination, it's not simply an "I'll get to it later," problem. Procrastination can be a debilitating issue that causes a great deal of guilt, and shame, to people from all walks of life, from students to successful businesspeople. Most likely...
In this episode, Tony Overbay, LMFT, explains how obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD) works and provides tips, and tools, for overcoming what Dr. Jeffery Schwartz calls "Brain Lock," in his book "Brain Lock: Free Yourself From Obsessive-Compulsive...
Why is it so difficult to be happy? With all of the advances in technology and advances in being more open to mental health issues, one would think that happiness would be on the increase. But instead, we find that people's overall happiness has been...
Tony interviews Leonard, a former inmate, and medical professional, who was recently released from jail where he learned a tremendous amount of information on how to protect our children from the dangers of human trafficking. While in jail, Leonard, a...
In this bonus episode of The Virtual Couch, Tony records a quick podcast to process an event that he had just experienced that could have gone one of two ways. One way would have been to let anxiety, stress, and panic rule his thoughts and...
Rachel Nielson, host of the popular podcast 3 in 30 Takeaways for Moms, joins Tony on the Virtual Couch today to talk about her experience in how her two amazing children came to be a part of her family. Rachel went through both in vitro fertilization...
Special BONUS episode of the Virtual Couch. A couple of weeks ago I was asked to be a guest on Intimacy/Relationship Coach Ashley Noelle’s Internet Radio Show “You Have Worth” and she was kind enough to allow me to post the audio of our interview on the podcast. The easiest way to find out more about Ashley, her work in helping women overcome sexual addiction and relationship challenges, as well as her internet radio show is through her Facebook page www.facebook.com/coachashleynoelle/. Or you can head directly to her show’s page www.spreaker.com/show/2828908
From Ashley’s bio “Ashley may be young, but she is fierce! Born and raised in Northern California, at the age of 19 she moved to Jishou China and taught English at a middle school. She married at age 20 and by 25 years old she left her abusive marriage with her two children.
Divorce broke her to her lowest point, where she was full of self hate, depressed, suicidal and desperate for any positive affirmation from men no matter the cost. One night stands turned into Sex Addiction.
Eventually Ashley certified as a California Crisis Counselor, and works with local victims and survivors of Domestic Violence, Sexual Assault and Human Trafficking. She runs support groups and uses meditation and her whity humor mixed with personal poems and raps to coach you into realizing your self-worth.
Her passion is to help others know their worth and empower them to leave abusive situations and move forward to a healthier lifestyle.
Tony mentioned a product that he used to take out all of the "uh's" and "um's" that, in his words, "must be created by wizards and magic!" because it's that good! To learn more about Descript click here https://descript.com?lmref=v95myQ
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Please subscribe to The Virtual Couch YouTube channel at https://www.youtube.com/c/TheVirtualCouchPodcast/ and sign up at http://tonyoverbay.com to learn more about Tony’s upcoming “Magnetic Marriage” program!
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Tony's FREE parenting course, “Tips For Parenting Positively Even In the Not So Positive Times” is available NOW. Just go to http://tonyoverbay.com/courses/ and sign up today. This course will help you understand why it can be so difficult to communicate with and understand your children. You’ll learn how to keep your buttons hidden, how to genuinely give praise that will truly build inner wealth in your child, teen, or even in your adult children, and you’ll learn how to move from being “the punisher” to being someone your children will want to go to when they need help.
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This episode of The Virtual Couch is sponsored by http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch With the continuing “sheltering” rules that are spreading across the country PLEASE do not think that you can’t continue or begin therapy now. http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch can put you quickly in touch with licensed mental health professionals who can meet through text, email, or videoconference often as soon as 24-48 hours. And if you use the link http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch you will receive 10% off your first month of services. Please make your own mental health a priority, http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch offers affordable counseling, and they even have sliding scale options if your budget is tight.
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Tony's new best selling book "He's a Porn Addict...Now What? An Expert and a Former Addict Answer Your Questions" is now available on Kindle. https://amzn.to/38mauBo
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Tony Overbay, is the co-author of "He's a Porn Addict...Now What? An Expert and a Former Addict Answer Your Questions" now available on Amazon https://amzn.to/33fk0U4. The book debuted in the number 1 spot in the Sexual Health Recovery category and remains there as the time of this record. The book has received numerous positive reviews from professionals in the mental health and recovery fields.
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You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program The Path Back by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to receive updates on upcoming programs, and podcasts.
In this special “race report” episode of the Virtual Couch, Tony talks about his experience running the Cuyamaca 100k (63.3 mile race) on Saturday focusing particularly on how he “mindfulnessed the heck” out of the race having toe’d the starting line with the least amount of preparation in his 20 plus years of running. He answers questions that listeners have asked about ultra marathon running, and weaves in some life lessons from competing in ultra marathons including the awareness example involving a 4-door Porsche and his somewhat-girly-looking bug!
You can learn more about Tony Overbay's Virtual Couch podcast by visiting http://virtualcouch.xyz or by visiting http://tonyoverbay.com
You can find out more about Tony's pornography recovery program, The Path Back, by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com
And, if you are having trouble finding professional counseling in your area, consider Betterhelp.com/virtualcouch Betterhelp.com is the world's leading provider of online therapy. Their mission is to make professional counseling accessible, affordable, and convenient, so anyone who struggles with life's challenges can get help, anytime, anywhere. Head to http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch for 10% off your first month of services.
In this episode Tony talks about how to tackle major problems in life that can cause you to feel stuck. He gives 6 steps for getting “unstuck” and he shares how to implement these steps in your life. He also share a story of how he found myself the recipient of nearly 200 magazine subscriptions during his freshman year of college!
Tony's new best selling book "He's a Porn Addict...Now What? An Expert and a Former Addict Answer Your Questions" is now available on Kindle. https://amzn.to/38mauBo
Tony Overbay, is the co-author of "He's a Porn Addict...Now What? An Expert and a Former Addict Answer Your Questions" now available on Amazon https://amzn.to/33fk0U4. The book debuted in the number 1 spot in the Sexual Health Recovery category and remains there as the time of this record. The book has received numerous positive reviews from professionals in the mental health and recovery fields.
The book tackles tough questions with answers from both the expert and the addict's point of view. Tony, a licensed marriage and family therapist, and creator of The Path Back, an online pornography addiction recovery program that has helped hundreds of people overcome turning to pornography and other compulsive sexual behaviors as a coping mechanism, and Joshua Shea, former addict, and author of the book “The Addiction Nobody Will Talk About” read their respective answers to questions such as "Finding out he's addicted to porn has turned me off to sex completely, what should I do?" And "How much do we tell the kids?" And "Does this mean that God is mad at me, or doesn't love me?"
Reviews include: "This is the most helpful book for porn addicts and the people who (still) love them. One of the most courageous and timely books to help with a widespread and almost never talked about epidemic that is ruining marriages, careers, and lives. It will give hope to millions of people who are addicted to pornography. -- Mark Goulston, MD, FAPA, Author of Just Listen Discover the Secret to Getting Through to Absolutely Anyone.
You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program The Path Back by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to receive updates on upcoming programs, and podcasts.
The Virtual Couch is sponsored by http://Betterhelp.com/virtualcouch Betterhelp.com is the world's leading provider of online therapy. Their mission is to make professional counseling accessible, affordable, and convenient, so anyone who struggles with life's challenges can get help, anytime, anywhere. Head to http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch for 10% off your first month of services.
As I woke up today to the news of the tragedy in Las Vegas I felt impressed to record a short podcast to share a few thoughts on processing tragedy with your teens and children. I believe it is imperative to help them not only work though the myriad of emotions that I am sure they are and will be feeling, but it is equally important to try and help them look for hope moving forward.
Tony's new best selling book "He's a Porn Addict...Now What? An Expert and a Former Addict Answer Your Questions" is now available on Kindle. https://amzn.to/38mauBo
Tony Overbay, is the co-author of "He's a Porn Addict...Now What? An Expert and a Former Addict Answer Your Questions" now available on Amazon https://amzn.to/33fk0U4. The book debuted in the number 1 spot in the Sexual Health Recovery category and remains there as the time of this record. The book has received numerous positive reviews from professionals in the mental health and recovery fields.
The book tackles tough questions with answers from both the expert and the addict's point of view. Tony, a licensed marriage and family therapist, and creator of The Path Back, an online pornography addiction recovery program that has helped hundreds of people overcome turning to pornography and other compulsive sexual behaviors as a coping mechanism, and Joshua Shea, former addict, and author of the book “The Addiction Nobody Will Talk About” read their respective answers to questions such as "Finding out he's addicted to porn has turned me off to sex completely, what should I do?" And "How much do we tell the kids?" And "Does this mean that God is mad at me, or doesn't love me?"
Reviews include: "This is the most helpful book for porn addicts and the people who (still) love them. One of the most courageous and timely books to help with a widespread and almost never talked about epidemic that is ruining marriages, careers, and lives. It will give hope to millions of people who are addicted to pornography. -- Mark Goulston, MD, FAPA, Author of Just Listen Discover the Secret to Getting Through to Absolutely Anyone.
You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program The Path Back by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to receive updates on upcoming programs, and podcasts.
The Virtual Couch is sponsored by http://Betterhelp.com/virtualcouch Betterhelp.com is the world's leading provider of online therapy. Their mission is to make professional counseling accessible, affordable, and convenient, so anyone who struggles with life's challenges can get help, anytime, anywhere. Head to http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch for 10% off your first month of services.
In this episode Tony shares his one-man mission to debunk the biggest myth in the world of habit change. This episode is sure to change your opinion on what it takes to create new habits and give you hope that you, too, can create new habits even if you feel like you’ve been unsuccessful in the past. Tony also shares a story about “getting the fudge first” aka the one-hour Disneyland shopper’s pass.
Tony's new best selling book "He's a Porn Addict...Now What? An Expert and a Former Addict Answer Your Questions" is now available on Kindle. https://amzn.to/38mauBo
Tony Overbay, is the co-author of "He's a Porn Addict...Now What? An Expert and a Former Addict Answer Your Questions" now available on Amazon https://amzn.to/33fk0U4. The book debuted in the number 1 spot in the Sexual Health Recovery category and remains there as the time of this record. The book has received numerous positive reviews from professionals in the mental health and recovery fields.
The book tackles tough questions with answers from both the expert and the addict's point of view. Tony, a licensed marriage and family therapist, and creator of The Path Back, an online pornography addiction recovery program that has helped hundreds of people overcome turning to pornography and other compulsive sexual behaviors as a coping mechanism, and Joshua Shea, former addict, and author of the book “The Addiction Nobody Will Talk About” read their respective answers to questions such as "Finding out he's addicted to porn has turned me off to sex completely, what should I do?" And "How much do we tell the kids?" And "Does this mean that God is mad at me, or doesn't love me?"
Reviews include: "This is the most helpful book for porn addicts and the people who (still) love them. One of the most courageous and timely books to help with a widespread and almost never talked about epidemic that is ruining marriages, careers, and lives. It will give hope to millions of people who are addicted to pornography. -- Mark Goulston, MD, FAPA, Author of Just Listen Discover the Secret to Getting Through to Absolutely Anyone.
You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program The Path Back by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to receive updates on upcoming programs, and podcasts.
The Virtual Couch is sponsored by http://Betterhelp.com/virtualcouch Betterhelp.com is the world's leading provider of online therapy. Their mission is to make professional counseling accessible, affordable, and convenient, so anyone who struggles with life's challenges can get help, anytime, anywhere. Head to http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch for 10% off your first month of services.