Having It ALL: Conversations about living an Abundant Loving Life: Recent Episodes
Matthew Bivens
A bold, vulnerable and honest weekly show for those courageous enough to believe they can have all the intimacy, health, money, relationships, fun, connection and self love they desire in life! If you believe having it all is possible and that YOU are the only thing separating you from your ideal life, you’re in the right place. In this podcast I share the mindsets, belief systems, personal habits, tools, accountability and support systems that I use daily to design my best life, all so you can go for your greatness and live your full potential! This is not like your typical self help or personal development show. I share my biggest breakdowns and breakthroughs as I travel my path of living an Abundant Loving Life. Ready? Let's do this!
What is the quality of your life right now? In today's episode I'm sharing with you 8 key areas of life you want to take a look at periodically to assess the overall quality of your life. This episode is inspired by fellow greatness seeker, Lewis Howes. It was on his Instagram page that I saw him post about these 8 areas, and it moved me to share it with you all.
RESOURCES FROM THIS EPISODE Instagram post from Lewis Howes - https://www.instagram.com/p/BpzmA9iA7rR/
DOWNLOAD THE FREE "TRUST ACCOUNT" APP FROM THE YOURDAY BALANCE GAME Android: https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.balancegame.ydbg iPhone: https://apps.apple.com/us/app/ydbg-watch-play-discover/id1489276659
WATCH THE #1 OBSTACLE VIDEO Learn what derails all successful people and keeps them from moving from codependent to independent https://theydbg.com/obstacle-video/
GET THE "HAVING IT A.L.L. BLUEPRINT" FOR DESIGNING AND LIVING YOUR GREATEST LIFE https://hia.ck.page/products/blueprint
CHECK OUT SOME OFFERS FROM OUR AWESOME PARTNERS Needed: https://bit.ly/3IKmWzL - use code HIA20 to get 20% off your order or HIA100 for $100 off a Complete Plan
LEAVE THE PODCAST A REVIEW ON APPLE PODCASTS https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/having-it-all-conversations-about-living-an-abundant/id1093257684
CHECK OUT THE ENTIRE HAVING IT A.L.L. PODCAST CATALOGUE https://podcast.matthewbivens.com/
GET IN TOUCH WITH MATTHEW matthew@matthewbivens.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Are you struggling to find meaning in your life? Are you searching for purpose and clarity around why you're here and what you're meant to be doing? So many people struggle with these questions, many spending the majority of their lives dealing with the stress, angst and confusion that comes with not having satisfying answers. I have been there myself. I spent decades wrestling with these types of questions, never having an answer and constantly feeling like I was behind, missing out and failing to live into my potential. It wasn't until I did some very specific things that all of that started to change. In today's episode I help you answer the question "How do I find meaning in my life?" and I give you my formula for experiencing meaning, purpose and clarity.
RESOURCES FROM THIS EPISODE Youtube clip from Shaolin Master Shi Heng Yi: https://www.youtube.com/shorts/yYp3rn1A5no
DOWNLOAD THE FREE "TRUST ACCOUNT" APP FROM THE YOURDAY BALANCE GAME Android: https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.balancegame.ydbg iPhone: https://apps.apple.com/us/app/ydbg-watch-play-discover/id1489276659
WATCH THE #1 OBSTACLE VIDEO Learn what derails all successful people and keeps them from moving from codependent to independent https://theydbg.com/obstacle-video/
GET THE "HAVING IT A.L.L. BLUEPRINT" FOR DESIGNING AND LIVING YOUR GREATEST LIFE https://hia.ck.page/products/blueprint
CHECK OUT SOME OFFERS FROM OUR AWESOME PARTNERS Needed: https://bit.ly/3IKmWzL - use code HIA20 to get 20% off your order or HIA100 for $100 off a Complete Plan
LEAVE THE PODCAST A REVIEW ON APPLE PODCASTS https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/having-it-all-conversations-about-living-an-abundant/id1093257684
CHECK OUT THE ENTIRE HAVING IT A.L.L. PODCAST CATALOGUE https://podcast.matthewbivens.com/
GET IN TOUCH WITH MATTHEW matthew@matthewbivens.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
How do you know if you're in a codependent relationship? Codependency is a relationship killer, but spotting the signs isn't always easy. Many times the behaviors that you think are indications of your love and devotion, are actually signs of an unhealthy relationship dynamic. In today's episode we're going to explore codependency deeper and you'll learn 8 signs that you are in a codependent relationship. And don't forget to watch the video I mention at the end of the episode so you can learn how to fix your codependency for good. Click here to access the video >> https://theydbg.com/obstacle-video/
RESOURCES FROM THIS EPISODE: Heal codependency video: https://theydbg.com/obstacle-video/
DOWNLOAD THE FREE "TRUST ACCOUNT" APP FROM THE YOURDAY BALANCE GAME Android: https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.balancegame.ydbg iPhone: https://apps.apple.com/us/app/ydbg-watch-play-discover/id1489276659
GET THE "HAVING IT A.L.L. BLUEPRINT" FOR DESIGNING AND LIVING YOUR GREATEST LIFE https://hia.ck.page/products/blueprint
CHECK OUT SOME OFFERS FROM OUR AWESOME PARTNERS Needed: https://bit.ly/3IKmWzL - use code HIA20 to get 20% off your order or HIA100 for $100 off a Complete Plan
LEAVE THE PODCAST A REVIEW ON APPLE PODCASTS https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/having-it-all-conversations-about-living-an-abundant/id1093257684
CHECK OUT THE ENTIRE HAVING IT A.L.L. PODCAST CATALOGUE https://podcast.matthewbivens.com/
GET IN TOUCH WITH MATTHEW matthew@matthewbivens.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Are you the type who loves to read personal development books but stops short of actually applying what they read? Be honest, because this happens more often than not. In my years of coaching, I see many people fall into the trap of believing they are creating new results by reading more books, attending more seminars and enrolling in more courses. This is a trap because the real results come from APPLYING what has been learned (and applying again and again and again, until you gain wisdom from experience). In today's Having It A.L.L. Classic episodeI talk about the importance of taking your practice out into the world and seeing if your walk matches your talk.
DOWNLOAD THE FREE "TRUST ACCOUNT" APP FROM THE YOURDAY BALANCE GAME Android: https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.balancegame.ydbg iPhone: https://apps.apple.com/us/app/ydbg-watch-play-discover/id1489276659
WATCH THE #1 OBSTACLE VIDEO Learn what derails all successful people and keeps them from moving from codependent to independent https://theydbg.com/obstacle-landing-page/
GET THE "HAVING IT A.L.L. BLUEPRINT" FOR DESIGNING AND LIVING YOUR GREATEST LIFE https://hia.ck.page/products/blueprint
CHECK OUT SOME OFFERS FROM OUR AWESOME PARTNERS Needed: https://bit.ly/3IKmWzL - use code HIA20 to get 20% off your order or HIA100 for $100 off a Complete Plan
LEAVE THE PODCAST A REVIEW ON APPLE PODCASTS https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/having-it-all-conversations-about-living-an-abundant/id1093257684
CHECK OUT THE ENTIRE HAVING IT A.L.L. PODCAST CATALOGUE https://podcast.matthewbivens.com/
GET IN TOUCH WITH MATTHEW matthew@matthewbivens.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
How comfortable are you at the idea of spending alone time with just you and your thoughts? Today's Quick Fix is all about breaking the addiction of constant distraction, and in the episode I'm sharing a message from Rich Roll -- podcaster, author and ultra-endurance athlete.
RESOURCES FROM THIS EPISODE
BREAK Your Phone Addiction | Rich Roll: https://youtu.be/EsKGcMrKknc
The Habit That's Making You Miserable (And Why The Experts Are Missing The Point): https://podcast.matthewbivens.com/the-habit-thats-making-you-miserable-and-why-the-experts-are-missing-the-point/
4 Simple Ways You can Practice Mindfulness Everyday Without Meditating: https://podcast.matthewbivens.com/4-simple-ways-you-can-practice-mindfulness-everyday-without-meditating/
A Quick Guide To Shower Meditations (My Go-to Tool For Beating Stubborn Stress): https://podcast.matthewbivens.com/a-quick-guide-to-shower-meditations-my-go-to-tool-for-beating-stubborn-stress/
DOWNLOAD THE FREE "TRUST ACCOUNT" APP FROM THE YOURDAY BALANCE GAME Android: https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.balancegame.ydbg iPhone: https://apps.apple.com/us/app/ydbg-watch-play-discover/id1489276659
WATCH THE #1 OBSTACLE VIDEO Learn what derails all successful people and keeps them from moving from codependent to independent https://theydbg.com/obstacle-landing-page/
GET THE "HAVING IT A.L.L. BLUEPRINT" FOR DESIGNING AND LIVING YOUR GREATEST LIFE https://hia.ck.page/products/blueprint
CHECK OUT SOME OFFERS FROM OUR AWESOME PARTNERS Needed: https://bit.ly/3IKmWzL - use code HIA20 to get 20% off your order or HIA100 for $100 off a Complete Plan
LEAVE THE PODCAST A REVIEW ON APPLE PODCASTS https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/having-it-all-conversations-about-living-an-abundant/id1093257684
CHECK OUT THE ENTIRE HAVING IT A.L.L. PODCAST CATALOGUE https://podcast.matthewbivens.com/
GET IN TOUCH WITH MATTHEW matthew@matthewbivens.com
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
What do you think is the common denominator of success? In 1940, Albert E.N. Gray, an official of the Prudential Insurance Company of America and a highly sought after speaker, delivered a speech to the National Association of Life Underwriters at their annual convention. His words have since become a source of great inspiration for many people. In today's episode I'm sharing with you his famous speech "The Common Denominator of Success".
RESOURCES FROM THIS EPISODE
Link to the speech transcript - https://jamesclear.com/great-speeches/the-common-denominator-of-success-by-albert-e-n-gray
Trust Account app:
Android: https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.balancegame.ydbg
iPhone: https://apps.apple.com/us/app/ydbg-watch-play-discover/id1489276659
Having It A.L.L. Blueprint Online Program - https://hia.ck.page/products/blueprint
DOWNLOAD THE FREE "TRUST ACCOUNT" APP FROM THE YOURDAY BALANCE GAME Android: https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.balancegame.ydbg iPhone: https://apps.apple.com/us/app/ydbg-watch-play-discover/id1489276659
WATCH THE #1 OBSTACLE VIDEO Learn what derails all successful people and keeps them from moving from codependent to independent https://theydbg.com/obstacle-landing-page/
GET THE "HAVING IT A.L.L. BLUEPRINT" FOR DESIGNING AND LIVING YOUR GREATEST LIFE https://hia.ck.page/products/blueprint
CHECK OUT SOME OFFERS FROM OUR AWESOME PARTNERS Needed: https://bit.ly/3IKmWzL - use code HIA20 to get 20% off your order or HIA100 for $100 off a Complete Plan
LEAVE THE PODCAST A REVIEW ON APPLE PODCASTS https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/having-it-all-conversations-about-living-an-abundant/id1093257684
CHECK OUT THE ENTIRE HAVING IT A.L.L. PODCAST CATALOGUE https://podcast.matthewbivens.com/
GET IN TOUCH WITH MATTHEW matthew@matthewbivens.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
If life is a game of patterns, then what are the lifestyle patterns of people who live long and healthy lives? That's a question many have set out to answer. In the book "Blue Zones: Lessons for Living Longer From the People Who've Lived the Longest", author Dan Buettner explores why communities in certain parts of the world (known as "Blue Zones") live longer and healthier lives. In today's episode I share with you the 9 evidence based reasons why people in Blue Zones live longer, and I open up the space for you to examine your own life to see which of these Blue Zone characteristics you can incorporate into your own life.
RESOURCES FROM THIS EPISODE Blue Zones website - https://www.bluezones.com/2016/11/power-9/
DOWNLOAD THE FREE "TRUST ACCOUNT" APP FROM THE YOURDAY BALANCE GAME Android: https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.balancegame.ydbg iPhone: https://apps.apple.com/us/app/ydbg-watch-play-discover/id1489276659
WATCH THE #1 OBSTACLE VIDEO Learn what derails all successful people and keeps them from moving from codependent to independent https://theydbg.com/obstacle-landing-page/
GET THE "HAVING IT A.L.L. BLUEPRINT" FOR DESIGNING AND LIVING YOUR GREATEST LIFE https://hia.ck.page/products/blueprint
CHECK OUT SOME OFFERS FROM OUR AWESOME PARTNERS Needed: https://bit.ly/3IKmWzL - use code HIA20 to get 20% off your order or HIA100 for $100 off a Complete Plan
LEAVE THE PODCAST A REVIEW ON APPLE PODCASTS https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/having-it-all-conversations-about-living-an-abundant/id1093257684
CHECK OUT THE ENTIRE HAVING IT A.L.L. PODCAST CATALOGUE https://podcast.matthewbivens.com/
GET IN TOUCH WITH MATTHEW matthew@matthewbivens.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
What is "Vitamin N" and how will it help you live an abundant loving life? Today's Quick Fix is all about "Vitamin N", and in the episode I'm sharing a message from Eliud Kipchoge -- a Kenyan long distance runner who is regarded as the greatest marathon runner of all time. He is an Olympic champion, world record holder, and in 2019 was the first person in history to run a sub 2 hour marathon! Tune in to learn about "Vitamin N" and why it's essential to self-discipline.
RESOURCES FROM THIS EPISODE
Three rules for self-discipline - https://youtu.be/XJ8Rw-ZyBs0
WORLD'S FASTEST Man Shares How To Achieve Your MOST AMBITIOUS GOALS In 2023 | Eliud Kipchoge - https://youtu.be/X4la2sHwZB0
Learn How To Take Control Of Your Life By Answering This One Question! - https://podcast.matthewbivens.com/learn-how-to-take-control-of-your-life-by-answering-this-one-question/
DOWNLOAD THE FREE "TRUST ACCOUNT" APP FROM THE YOURDAY BALANCE GAME Android: https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.balancegame.ydbg iPhone: https://apps.apple.com/us/app/ydbg-watch-play-discover/id1489276659
WATCH THE #1 OBSTACLE VIDEO Learn what derails all successful people and keeps them from moving from codependent to independent https://theydbg.com/obstacle-landing-page/
GET THE "HAVING IT A.L.L. BLUEPRINT" FOR DESIGNING AND LIVING YOUR GREATEST LIFE https://hia.ck.page/products/blueprint
CHECK OUT SOME OFFERS FROM OUR AWESOME PARTNERS Needed: https://bit.ly/3IKmWzL - use code HIA20 to get 20% off your order or HIA100 for $100 off a Complete Plan
LEAVE THE PODCAST A REVIEW ON APPLE PODCASTS https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/having-it-all-conversations-about-living-an-abundant/id1093257684
CHECK OUT THE ENTIRE HAVING IT A.L.L. PODCAST CATALOGUE https://podcast.matthewbivens.com/
GET IN TOUCH WITH MATTHEW matthew@matthewbivens.com
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
What is one activity that, if you did it on a regular basis, would have a tremendous impact in your personal and professional life? That's the question we focus on in today's podcast! I was inspired by a lesson I was teaching a coaching group recently, and I'm bringing that conversation here because I want you to take back control over your life so that you can have it all. In today's episode we break down two very important questions that will help you manage your time and energy more effectively, so that you can be back in the driver's seat of your life and create the results that you're desiring.
DOWNLOAD THE FREE "TRUST ACCOUNT" APP FROM THE YOURDAY BALANCE GAME Android: https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.balancegame.ydbg iPhone: https://apps.apple.com/us/app/ydbg-watch-play-discover/id1489276659
WATCH THE #1 OBSTACLE VIDEO Learn what derails all successful people and keeps them from moving from codependent to independent https://theydbg.com/obstacle-landing-page/
GET THE "HAVING IT A.L.L. BLUEPRINT" FOR DESIGNING AND LIVING YOUR GREATEST LIFE https://hia.ck.page/products/blueprint
CHECK OUT SOME OFFERS FROM OUR AWESOME PARTNERS Needed: https://bit.ly/3IKmWzL - use code HIA20 to get 20% off your order or HIA100 for $100 off a Complete Plan
LEAVE THE PODCAST A REVIEW ON APPLE PODCASTS https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/having-it-all-conversations-about-living-an-abundant/id1093257684
CHECK OUT THE ENTIRE HAVING IT A.L.L. PODCAST CATALOGUE https://podcast.matthewbivens.com/
GET IN TOUCH WITH MATTHEW matthew@matthewbivens.com
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
What does it mean to "discipline your thinking" and how is this directly tied to you feeling like you have it all? I want to shine light on what is probably the biggest thing keeping you from having it all in your life -- undisciplined thinking. Undisciplined thinking is being a victim to your thoughts. Undisciplined thinking leads to feelings of angst, fear, worry, anxiety, anger, resentment, and pain....consistently. Undisciplined thinking, when left unchecked, will be what sabotages you from HAVING IT ALL and truly being in love with your life. I had my own experiences recently that showed me where I was in my mental discipline, and laid out in front of me very plainly how chaotic things can get within my mind and body when my thoughts are left unchecked. More on that in a minute. Ask yourself this question: how disciplined am I with my thoughts, one a 1-10? How effective am I at steering my thoughts in a direction I want them to go in? How comfortable am I being with my own thoughts? In today's episode, I'm bringing you wisdom from Dr. Joe Dispenza, Abraham Hicks and Shi Heng Yi about the power of your thinking and the importance of cultivating control over your thoughts. Check out the links below for all the resources mentioned in this podcast.
Resources from this episode:
Study from Science.org - https://www.science.org/content/article/people-would-rather-be-electrically-shocked-left-alone-their-thoughts-rev2
Full Dr. Joe Dispenza video - https://youtu.be/YD7dsuiiRvs
Full Abraham Hicks video - https://youtu.be/c_sovnkUuMs
Full Shi Heng Yi video - https://youtu.be/JgwsQVUjkPQ
DOWNLOAD THE FREE "TRUST ACCOUNT" APP FROM THE YOURDAY BALANCE GAME Android: https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.balancegame.ydbg iPhone: https://apps.apple.com/us/app/ydbg-watch-play-discover/id1489276659
WATCH THE #1 OBSTACLE VIDEO Learn what derails all successful people and keeps them from moving from codependent to independent https://theydbg.com/obstacle-landing-page/
GET THE "HAVING IT A.L.L. BLUEPRINT" FOR DESIGNING AND LIVING YOUR GREATEST LIFE https://hia.ck.page/products/blueprint
CHECK OUT SOME OFFERS FROM OUR AWESOME PARTNERS Needed: https://bit.ly/3IKmWzL - use code HIA20 to get 20% off your order or HIA100 for $100 off a Complete Plan
LEAVE THE PODCAST A REVIEW ON APPLE PODCASTS https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/having-it-all-conversations-about-living-an-abundant/id1093257684
CHECK OUT THE ENTIRE HAVING IT A.L.L. PODCAST CATALOGUE https://podcast.matthewbivens.com/
GET IN TOUCH WITH MATTHEW matthew@matthewbivens.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
When you're faced with a problem or challenge, what is the first thing you tend to do once you're ready to tackle it? Your answer probably has something to do with "seeking a solution" or "taking action". And that makes sense. When you have a problem or challenge and you're finally ready to solve it, you want to get moving. However, there's one thing that you absolutely must do if you want your solution to succeed. However, many people miss this critical step and so they end up repeating their same problems, challenges and breakdowns over and over and over and over..... Sound like you? In today's episode I'm going to share with you why you may be failing to fix the challenges you're experiencing in your relationships, finances, career and life, and I will show you a way to see these problems in a new way so that you can finally create a solution that works.
RESOURCES FROM THIS EPISODE Map Of Consciousness graphic: https://www.google.com/search?sxsrf=APwXEdcPoRpRDQHuSjihUThZis1Lb1K3Jw:1686259558121&q=map+of+consciousness&tbm=isch&sa=X&ved=2ahUKEwiUydevzrT_AhWYmGoFHVBqDEkQ0pQJegQIEBAB&cshid=1686259590196773&biw=1601&bih=884&dpr=1
DOWNLOAD THE FREE "TRUST ACCOUNT" APP FROM THE YOURDAY BALANCE GAME Android: https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.balancegame.ydbg iPhone: https://apps.apple.com/us/app/ydbg-watch-play-discover/id1489276659
WATCH THE #1 OBSTACLE VIDEO Learn what derails all successful people and keeps them from moving from codependent to independent https://theydbg.com/obstacle-landing-page/
GET THE "HAVING IT A.L.L. BLUEPRINT" FOR DESIGNING AND LIVING YOUR GREATEST LIFE https://hia.ck.page/products/blueprint
CHECK OUT SOME OFFERS FROM OUR AWESOME PARTNERS Needed: https://bit.ly/3IKmWzL - use code HIA20 to get 20% off your order or HIA100 for $100 off a Complete Plan
LEAVE THE PODCAST A REVIEW ON APPLE PODCASTS https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/having-it-all-conversations-about-living-an-abundant/id1093257684
CHECK OUT THE ENTIRE HAVING IT A.L.L. PODCAST CATALOGUE https://podcast.matthewbivens.com/
GET IN TOUCH WITH MATTHEW matthew@matthewbivens.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Do you know someone who always seems to have an excuse as to why they don't follow through on an agreement or accomplish a goal? Do you have that tendency at times? In today's bonus episode I'm sharing with you why, of all the things you want to be unique in in life, you certainly don't want to be unique in your excuses!
DOWNLOAD THE FREE "TRUST ACCOUNT" APP FROM THE YOURDAY BALANCE GAME Android: https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.balancegame.ydbg iPhone: https://apps.apple.com/us/app/ydbg-watch-play-discover/id1489276659
GET THE "HAVING IT A.L.L. BLUEPRINT" FOR DESIGNING AND LIVING YOUR GREATEST LIFE https://hia.ck.page/products/blueprint
CHECK OUT SOME OFFERS FROM OUR AWESOME PARTNERS Needed: https://bit.ly/3IKmWzL - use code HIA20 to get 20% off your order or HIA100 for $100 off a Complete Plan
LEAVE THE PODCAST A REVIEW ON APPLE PODCASTS https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/having-it-all-conversations-about-living-an-abundant/id1093257684
CHECK OUT THE ENTIRE HAVING IT A.L.L. PODCAST CATALOGUE https://podcast.matthewbivens.com/
GET IN TOUCH WITH MATTHEW matthew@matthewbivens.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Are you familiar with visualization? It's a technique that world class athletes and high achievers of all types, use to literally put themselves into a higher state of being, mentally and emotionally. Visualization helps these individuals live into their greatest selves. And it can do the same for you as well! I practice visualization techniques regularly, and in today's episode I'm sharing with you what the practice is all about, how it's done, and why I absolutely feel it's a powerful pathway to reprogramming your subconscious to live your best life. * LEAVE ME A REVIEW ON APPLE PODCASTS: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/having-it-all-conversations-about-living-an-abundant/id1093257684 * CHECK OUT THE ENTIRE HIA PODCAST CATALOGUE: https://podcast.matthewbivens.com/ * SEND ME A QUESTION: matthew@matthewbivens.com
Do you feel you have work-life balance? Or are you one of the millions of people who are feeling out of balance because they've been using this old context to look at their lives? If you are, don't stress out. I was too. But I've realized that this concept of work-life balance does so much more harm than good, and actually results in a very ineffective way of looking at our lives. In today's episode I'm sharing with you a different perspective for looking at how you can balance out the important things in your life. This perspective is one that I practice and teach all of my clients, and if you give it a try it will change your life! * LEAVE ME A REVIEW ON APPLE PODCASTS: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/having-it-all-conversations-about-living-an-abundant/id1093257684 * CHECK OUT THE ENTIRE HIA PODCAST CATALOGUE: https://podcast.matthewbivens.com/ * SEND ME A QUESTION: matthew@matthewbivens.com
What role does gratitude play in your life? In today's episode I'm talking about how gratitude can improve your productivity. There are very practical benefits to creating a gratitude practice, that honestly, until recently I was unaware of. But after reading an article by my good friend, Garland Vance (www.GarlandVance.com), I now have greater awareness around the role gratitude can play in our lives. Tune in and I'll share the three ways that gratitude improves productivity, as well as one powerful way gratitude helps you deal with challenging circumstances. I also share my personal gratitude practice, which is about as simple as it gets. Resources from this episode: Garland's article "Why you should practice gratitude all year long" - http://www.garlandvance.com/why-you-should-practice-gratitude-all-year-long/
- LEAVE ME A REVIEW ON APPLE PODCASTS: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/having-it-all-conversations-about-living-an-abundant/id1093257684
- CHECK OUT THE ENTIRE HIA PODCAST CATALOGUE: https://podcast.matthewbivens.com/
- SEND ME A QUESTION: matthew@matthewbivens.com
Are you familiar with the mind-body connection? Every person needs to understand the physical impact of their thoughts and beliefs. If you're not being intentional about this right now, then the chances are great that your self-talk is taking a toll on your physical health. In today's episode I talk about the mind-body connection, particularly as it relates to the labels we wear on about ourselves. Resources from this episode: Chopra center article: https://chopra.com/articles/mind-body-connection-understanding-the-psycho-emotional-roots-of-disease
- LEAVE ME A REVIEW ON APPLE PODCASTS: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/having-it-all-conversations-about-living-an-abundant/id1093257684
- CHECK OUT THE ENTIRE HIA PODCAST CATALOGUE: https://podcast.matthewbivens.com/
- SEND ME A QUESTION: matthew@matthewbivens.com
How do you build lasting self confidence? I struggled with self confidence for a very long time. For years I operated with low self confidence and low self esteem, not having a clue as to how I could build them up. But as I found more personal development resources, I started reading books, watching lectures and listening to podcasts on the topic of "building self confidence". I became very well versed in what the experts had to say on the topic, yet none of that ACTUALLY helped me become more confident. The main reason wasn't because I failed to apply the lessons (although many times I did), the issue was that I didn't understand the groundwork of what self confidence is built upon. In today's episode I bring to you some wisdom on self confidence that will help you - no matter how low your confidence is - take steps forward in developing real, lasting confidence with yourself. This is no quick fix, but rather concrete insight from years of personal study, as well as thousands of hours coaching others on building their confidence. By the end of this episode you'll understand your missteps more clearly, and you will know how to walk the path of building real self confidence. Resources from this episode:
Instagram post from Lewis Howes that inspired this topic: https://www.instagram.com/p/Cj_GwKDM99r/
Trust Account (aka Balance Chart) app from YourDay Balance Game: https://theydbg.com/
Take your free Codependency Test and get your score!: https://theydbg.com/codependency-test-tp/
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Do you struggle with staying consistent? You know the feeling. You start something, feel great for a while, then seemingly inevitably you fall off and quit. At that point the self doubt convos enter, the "I knew you couldn't do it!" self talk enters. All that stuff. In today's episode I'm giving you some simple tips for helping you be more consistent in life. Resources from this episode: "How To Develop Grit So You Can Do The Things You Don't Want To Do" - https://youtu.be/Ph0BLJPbsD8
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How do you juggle all the different roles and responsibilities that you have? That question was asked to me recently by a listener and client, and I think it's in such alignment with everything that we talk about on this podcast. A major part of living your abundant loving life is being able to experience peace, joy and flow in the midst of the life you've created. It's not about how many balls you're trying to keep up in the air, it's about how effective you are and how much you're enjoying the experience. In today's episode I share with you the mindsets, tools and personal practices that grant me the ability to peacefully and joyfully juggle many roles and responsibilities, while keeping overwhelm and imbalance at bay. Resources from this episode: Balance Chart app from the YourDay Balance Game: https://theydbg.com/
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When pain hits you, do you lean into it or run from it? I used to be the person that ran from pain. Any type of pain, from physical to emotional, I wanted nothing to do with it! And it made perfect sense to me: pain did not feel good, and so why would I want to experience something that didn't feel good? Today I have an entirely different perspective towards PAIN. In fact, I embrace and love pain today, and doing so has been a critical step in my personal growth and healing journey. Tune in as I give you a new way to look at PAIN and show you why leaning into pain will free you from your fears. * LEAVE ME A REVIEW ON APPLE PODCASTS: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/having-it-all-conversations-about-living-an-abundant/id1093257684 * CHECK OUT THE ENTIRE HIA PODCAST CATALOGUE: https://podcast.matthewbivens.com/ * LEARN ABOUT MY COACHING PROGRAMS: https://www.matthewbivens.com/coaching/ * SEND ME A QUESTION: matthew@matthewbivens.com
What is codependency? As you read that question above, you probably have an idea of what codependency is in your mind. Most people can spot signs of codependent behavior when they see it in others, but fail to notice it in their own lives. The truth about codependency is that it's much more prevalent, damaging and insidious than you might imagine, and in fact it's at the root of many of the biggest challenges that people face day-to-day. Today's episode is the first part of a series that addresses codependency and how it shows up in our lives. In this conversation, I begin with the basics of codependency and share with you what it is, what it looks like, and how you can start overcoming it. As you will see, codependency is not just something that happens to other people "out there", it's something that might be wreaking havoc on your most important personal relationships. Resources from this episode:
Codependency Test - https://0bun98ovlt6.typeform.com/to/Fy2FnfnC
YourDay Balance Game YouTube channel - https://www.youtube.com/user/YourDayBalanceGame/videos
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In today's quick fix I let you know why you need to learn to love and get excited about life's hardships --- Rough episode transcript --- If you’re listening to this podcast then I know that you’re into improving yourself and truly stepping into your greatness, and I can bet that you’ve been practicing. Maybe it’s meditating or journaling or being grateful or facing your fears or practicing humility. Whatever it is, this message for you. WHEN STUFF HITS THE FAN IN LIFE, WHICH HAPPENS AND WILL NEVER STOP HAPPENING UNTIL YOU’RE DEAD, YOU NEED TO BE PSYCHED ABOUT IT! Hear me out. You’ve been doing all of these things to improve yourself. You’ve been finding your strength, uncovering your gifts, revealing your mission and purpose. You’ve been practicing getting organized and being compassionate and having courage. You’ve been listening to podcasts and reading books and attending retreats and buying courses. All of these things have been your training, and none of it matters when life is going smoothly. When life is great and everything is working out in your favor and the tides are rising, you’re not asked to be courageous and humble and intelligent and mature. It’s only when things go south, when life smacks you in the face with circumstances, that your training is put to the test. So, you have to start relating to life’s circumstances as GAME TIME! Seriously. When you create a fender bender on the way to work, or your kitchen floods, or your kid does something dumb and gets arrested, or your baby won’t stop crying, or your partner is withholding love — THAT is when you will really get a chance to see how far you’ve come. It’s in those moments that all the reps you’ve put in reading and meditating and working on yourself matter. Because when you’re able to respond differently to a situation that you’ve responded to the same way your whole life, you’ve just won and you’ve stepped your game up just a little bit. So get excited when things go south, because it’s in these moments when you actually have an opportunity to grow. As I say all the time, HAVING IT ALL is about your relationship to life and what it serves up, so next time you’re presented with a circumstance that sucks, remember that’s it’s an opportunity to grow into a greater version of yourself. That’s it for today.
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Have you given yourself permission to slack on your exercise and overall physical health? I get it, we're in the middle of a global circumstance that can be used as a great excuse to not exercise and neglect your health. But the ripple effects of doing so are far reaching, and you may be underestimating how detrimental it can be for your overall health & wellbeing if you've been putting physical exercise on the back-burner. In today's conversation I'm illuminating the 5 key areas of your health - physical, emotional, mental, spiritual and social - and I'm showing you how they are all connected. Now is not the time to take your foot off the health gas. Especially if you're afraid for your physical health, now is the time to do MORE exercising, MORE clean eating and MORE healthy social connecting. Resources from this episode:
Grab a copy of The Legend Of The Curl Girl on Amazon
Dasha Shaw aka "The Hair Doula" on Instagram @thehairdoula
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How intentional are you with the way you start and end your day? Here's the truth, there are people out there living incredibly fulfilling lives, they HAVE IT ALL, the Big S Success, and you can bet that it's not by accident. The way you start your day and the way you end your day have a HUGE impact on not only what happens during the course of your day, but also how you feel about yourself and your life. A winning morning and nighttime routine doesn't have to be long and complicated and rigid, but it does need to be intentional. In today's episode I share with you the very specific habits and routines I use in the morning and evening to set myself up for success each day. Resources from this episode:
Episode on my Mission Statement - https://podcast.matthewbivens.com/my-personal-mission-statement-why-knowing-what-youre-playing-for-will-change-your-life/
Balance Chart App - https://www.theydbg.com/
Headspace - https://www.headspace.com/
Evernote - https://evernote.com/
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Do you feel your life lacks purpose and meaning? Many people (if not most) are on a journey to find purpose and meaning in their lives. And truthfully, many will never find what they're looking for....because they're looking in the wrong places. On today's episode I'm sharing with you the key to living a life of purpose and meaning, and I'm revealing why so many people struggle in this area DESPITE having a strong desire to create a life they love living. By the end of the episode you'll know exactly where you need to focus your energy to discover meaning and purpose in your own life. Resources from this episode: Regrets of the dying by Bronnie Ware - https://bronnieware.com/blog/regrets-of-the-dying/
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Do you struggle with asking for help or accepting help when it's offered to you? For me, asking for help has been a challenge since I was young. I don't really know when I started to feel like I needed to take care of things on my own, but that belief follows me to this day. In this episode I'm sharing with you a few common examples of when the universe places people or things in our path that are there to help us. * LEAVE ME A REVIEW ON APPLE PODCASTS: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/having-it-all-conversations-about-living-an-abundant/id1093257684 * CHECK OUT THE ENTIRE HIA PODCAST CATALOGUE: https://podcast.matthewbivens.com/ * LEARN ABOUT MY COACHING PROGRAMS: https://www.matthewbivens.com/coaching/ * SEND ME A QUESTION: matthew@matthewbivens.com
What if the path to achieving your highest dreams wasn't in the clarity of your vision, but in the standards you hold for yourself? Todays episode explores the idea that, "We become our lowest standard, not our highest dream." I unpack this statement and give you action steps for raising your standards so that you can have it all! * LEAVE ME A REVIEW ON APPLE PODCASTS: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/having-it-all-conversations-about-living-an-abundant/id1093257684 * CHECK OUT THE ENTIRE HIA PODCAST CATALOGUE: https://podcast.matthewbivens.com/ * LEARN ABOUT MY COACHING PROGRAMS: https://www.matthewbivens.com/coaching/ * SEND ME A QUESTION: matthew@matthewbivens.com
“We are all creators. Whether or not we create is not up to us. We are human, and creating is what we do.” - Michael Gungor You are a creator! Yes, you. Whether you not you believe it is irrelevant, because like Michael Gungor said, “We are human and creating is what we do.” In every role we play in life -- parent, spouse, friend, lover, community member, coach -- we create experiences and meaning. Today’s episode is an exercise in creation. I followed the advice of a friend and fellow podcaster, and recorded this episode with no notes and no script. Every part of this episode was created organically, on the spot. I did that because i wanted to exercise my muscles of creation, and what resulted was a powerful reflection on creativity, the creative process, and tapping into our creative potential. What you’ll learn in this episode:
What happens when we fail to acknowledge our creativity (especially when we praise it in others)
How creativity ties into our gifts, talents and passions, and the difference of each of those
How to tap into your full creative potential
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If you looked at your average day, how much of it do you spend in a state of Joy vs Sadness? My coach and mentor Day Adeogba shared with me a conversation he had with his kids recently, where he asked them "What do you think your Joy:Sadness ratio is?" That idea of a Joy:Sadness ratio totally fascinated me, and inspired me to think about it for myself....which of course led to this podcast episode! Tune in to hear about the Joy:Sadness ratio, how you can determine your goal Joy:Sadness ratio, and what you can do to experience the amount of Joy you desire in life. * LEAVE ME A REVIEW ON APPLE PODCASTS: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/having-it-all-conversations-about-living-an-abundant/id1093257684 * CHECK OUT THE ENTIRE HIA PODCAST CATALOGUE: https://podcast.matthewbivens.com/ * LEARN ABOUT MY COACHING PROGRAMS: https://www.matthewbivens.com/coaching/ * SEND ME A QUESTION: matthew@matthewbivens.com
How do you practice self love on a daily basis? In today's episode I'm sharing with you 7 ways that I practice self love every single day. I'm breaking down the simple habits and practices that keep my tank full and provide a spark in my life. And I'm also sharing with you 3 habits that I STOPPED doing because they didn't support or honor me. My intention is that this episode gets you to examine your self love practices and inspires you to level up how you love on yourself. * LEAVE ME A REVIEW ON APPLE PODCASTS: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/having-it-all-conversations-about-living-an-abundant/id1093257684 * CHECK OUT THE ENTIRE HIA PODCAST CATALOGUE: https://podcast.matthewbivens.com/ * LEARN ABOUT MY COACHING PROGRAMS: https://www.matthewbivens.com/coaching/ * SEND ME A QUESTION: matthew@matthewbivens.com
Why is change so frustrating? You'd think it wouldn't be so difficult to change something that you REALLY want to change. I know in the past I've been incredibly hard on myself for "not having the willpower" or "not wanting it enough" or "not being disciplined enough", when I failed to make change happen in my life. But what I told you there were crucial pieces of the change equation that you were missing? Ones that illuminate why change is so hard, and how to actually make it work for you. In today's podcast I get into the psychology behind making meaningful changes in your life, and I help you demystify this area that causes frustration in so many people. I drew inspiration for this episode from a conversation I heard on The Life Coach School Podcast -- https://thelifecoachschool.com/podcast/1/ * LEAVE ME A REVIEW ON APPLE PODCASTS: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/having-it-all-conversations-about-living-an-abundant/id1093257684 * CHECK OUT THE ENTIRE HIA PODCAST CATALOGUE: https://podcast.matthewbivens.com/ * LEARN ABOUT MY COACHING PROGRAMS: https://www.matthewbivens.com/coaching/ * SEND ME A QUESTION: matthew@matthewbivens.com
What is your sexual story? No, I'm not talking about a romance novel type of story. I'm talking about the narrative you have around sex, the one that was started many years ago with your very first encounters with the ideas, feelings and attitudes around sex. We all have a sexual story that was started when we were young and is being added to constantly. Many people's stories around sex are based in shame, judgement, embarrassment and expectation. That leads to sexual experiences and feelings that are unhealthy and certainly don't uplift and heal. But it doesn't have to be that way! You can rewrite your sexual story, heal those sexual wounds you carry, and create an entirely new sexual experience for yourself that's based in love, feels authentic, and full of genuine connection. Today I'm kicking off a series about sex which will help you transform your views on sex, from the inside out. If you want to reach out to me with episode topic suggestions, feedback about the podcast in general, or just to say hi, you can do so by emailing me at matthew@matthewbivens.com * LEAVE ME A REVIEW ON APPLE PODCASTS: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/having-it-all-conversations-about-living-an-abundant/id1093257684 * CHECK OUT THE ENTIRE HIA PODCAST CATALOGUE: https://podcast.matthewbivens.com/ * LEARN ABOUT MY COACHING PROGRAMS: https://www.matthewbivens.com/coaching/ * SEND ME A QUESTION: matthew@matthewbivens.com
Are you more of a leader or a follower? You might think that one of these roles is better or more preferred than the other. However, the truth is that it's your ability to balance between the two that will lead to your greatest success, and your goal is to understand your leadership-to-followership ratio. In today's episode I help you rescript what it means to be a great leader and follower, and I give you the tools to create a greater balance between your inner leader and follower! Resources from this episode: YourDay Balance Game website: https://theydbg.com/
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How would you describe what being an "involved dad" is? And, if you're a father, would you currently consider yourself an "involved dad"? This idea came up in a conversation Sarah and I were having on our other podcast, Doing It At Home, and I was clear that discussing fatherhood and what it looks like to show up powerfully as a dad was something to bring to Having It A.L.L.. Join me as I dive into what it really means to be an "involved dad" and why that label itself carries with it some controversy. Resources from this episode:
Study Explains What It Means To Be An "Involved Father" - https://citydadsgroup.com/nyc/2010/07/what-does-it-mean-to-be-an-involved-father/
The Involved Dad - https://www.focusonthefamily.com/parenting/the-involved-father/
Say Good Bye To The Involved Dad - https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/parenting/wp/2015/11/11/say-good-bye-to-the-involved-dad/
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Have you ever found yourself up late at night, scrolling through social media, feeling worse and worse with every thumb flick, but unable to break away? That my friend is known as "doomscrolling" and it's robbing you of your happiness, peace and mental health. Doomscrolling is when you find yourself deep into an internet or social media hole, looking at posts and stories that leave you feeling anxious, depressed, hopeless, angry, disheartened, but you just cannot seem to break away. You scroll and scroll and scroll, knowing in the back of your mind that nothing productive or healthy is coming from it, but you feel unable to close the app and put your phone away. Doomscrolling has been going up in recent years, and as a result mental health and emotional health has taken a huge hit. In today's episode I talk about Doomscrolling, break down why we do it, and give you some expert advice on how you can break the cycle and reclaim your health!
Struggling with Doomscrolling? I can help you. Learn about my coaching programs at www.matthewbivens.com/coaching, or email me at matthew@matthewbivens.com. My programs are designed to help you break bad habits, form new healthy ones, and reclaim your happiness!
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Where does your personal health rank on your list of priorities? Probably not at the top. Well, as you can guess from this title of this episode, I'm making a strong case for why you MUST begin to push your health to the top of your list. And I'm talking right now! Not next month, next quarter, over the summer. NOW! And yes I do mean priority. Your health should be the first thing you're thinking about each day, before your kids your spouse your job your co-wokers, all of that. I'm going to break down why your health needs to be priority, what exactly I mean by "Health", and give you clear steps to start making meaningful strides in your health right now. Resources from this episode:
Get on the Balance Chart app
Get in touch with me for individualized coaching
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How do you know whether or not you "have it all" in your life? One of my goals for you is that you move closer towards your definition of "having it all", and to do that you need to have an objective way of assessing whether you currently have it all. That's where the 6 F's come in! Today's episode is part of a series I did where I breakdown the meaning of "Having It A.L.L." (particularly the A.L.L. acronym). In today's conversation I'm sharing with you the 6 key areas of life that are an integral part of the Having It A.L.L. Framework, the 6 F's: Faith, Family, Friends, Fitness, Finance, and Fun. In the episode you'll hear my definition of each of those areas, how they impact your life, and things you can do to improve or increase any of those 6 areas so that you can get closer to truly "having it all". * LEAVE ME A REVIEW ON APPLE PODCASTS: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/having-it-all-conversations-about-living-an-abundant/id1093257684 * CHECK OUT THE ENTIRE HIA PODCAST CATALOGUE: https://podcast.matthewbivens.com/ * LEARN ABOUT MY COACHING PROGRAMS: https://www.matthewbivens.com/coaching/ * EMAIL ME A TOPIC SUGGESTION: matthew@matthewbivens.com
What is the Hero's Journey and how does it apply to your life? Patterns exist in our world, and those who learn how to read those patterns effectively can better navigate the ups and downs of life. The Hero's Journey is a story template (aka pattern) that is found in separate cultures all over the world, and can be seen in great works of literature and cinema. But the framework of the Hero's Journey isn't just for entertainment! In fact, the Hero's Journey very accurately describes YOUR journey of overcoming your fears and limiting beliefs to become the best version of yourself! In today's episode I'm breaking down the Hero's Journey, walking you through each of the 12 stages, and relating it back to your personal journey as you move from the background player of your story, to the Hero standing front and center! Grab the free PDF that goes along with this episode at www.matthewbivens.com/hero.
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As we head towards the midway point of 2022, how are things shaping up? Have you made noticeable progress on achieving your goals, solving your problems or realizing your vision for the year? Or are you facing the tough reality that things haven't changed much since the beginning of the year? There are patterns of effectiveness that can lead you to new results. Whether is a problem you wish to solve, a goal you want to accomplish, or a dream you desire to manifest -- the broad steps to getting there are the same. And once you know those steps you can use that knowledge to your advantage! In today's bonus episode I'm talking about a huge reason why you might not be seeing the results you wanted by now, and I'm helping you get out of the rut before it's too late. Resources from this episode:
Mel Robbins video - https://youtu.be/XZMCT30PHFU
Tracey Knight website - https://www.iamtraceyknight.com/
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Does the idea of taking risks scare the mess out of you? I know it did for me, and for much of my life I was completely risk averse. But thankfully I grew to realize that everything I wanted -- a fulfilling career, a deep and loving relationship, healthy and vitality -- all could be mine if I was willing to take the necessary risks, and I started pushing my comfort zones. And the beautiful thing is that it's a learned behavior, something that ANYONE can improve. In today's episode I help you become more bold when you're afraid of taking risks, and I break down simple things you can do and think about that will get you moving in the direction of your abundant loving life. Resources from this episode:
Take A Risk: The Odds Are Better Than You Think - https://www.forbes.com/sites/margiewarrell/2013/06/18/take-a-risk-the-odds-are-better-than-you-think/#715d993345c2
The Incredible Power Of Taking Risks In Life - https://www.thedailypositive.com/taking-risks-in-life/
Afraid Of Risks? How To Be Bolder - https://www.success.com/afraid-of-risks-how-to-be-bolder/
Why Taking Risks Is The Key To Getting What You Want - https://www.girlboss.com/life/how-to-take-more-risks
6 Ways To Be A Successful Risk Take And Take More Chances - https://www.lifehack.org/articles/communication/6-ways-successful-risk-taker-2.html
How To Take Intelligent Risks In The Pursuit Of Your Goals - https://blog.iqmatrix.com/intelligent-risks
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Do you have toxic people in your life? How about in your inner circle? Are there folks in your life who are constantly bringing negativity and noise into your world? And what are the things you should be reviewing and thinking about when preparing for marriage? These are the questions I answer in today's episode of the podcast! The topics today were suggested by YOU and all have to do with OTHERS. Last week I focused on SELF, and today we're focusing on OTHERS (next week is LIFE). I get fiery in this one, so buckle up for some real talk! If you want to share an idea with me, reach out through my email: matthew@matthewbivens.com * LEAVE ME A REVIEW ON APPLE PODCASTS: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/having-it-all-conversations-about-living-an-abundant/id1093257684 * CHECK OUT THE ENTIRE HIA PODCAST CATALOGUE: https://podcast.matthewbivens.com/ * LEARN ABOUT MY COACHING PROGRAMS: https://www.matthewbivens.com/coaching/ * SEND ME A QUESTION: matthew@matthewbivens.com
What do you do when you're feeling stuck in life? It's not uncommon to feel stuck at some point in life. It could be in a job that's no longer fulfilling, a relationship that has lost its intimacy, or just a general feeling of going through the motions in life. The reasons for feeling stuck are as varied as you and I, but the solution to getting unstuck is often a few layers deeper than you might be thinking. In today's episode I'm sharing my story of where my wife and I were stuck for 2 years, how we got unstuck, and why the way you are approaching the problem might just be making it worse. * LEAVE ME A REVIEW ON APPLE PODCASTS: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/having-it-all-conversations-about-living-an-abundant/id1093257684 * CHECK OUT THE ENTIRE HIA PODCAST CATALOGUE: https://podcast.matthewbivens.com/ * LEARN ABOUT MY COACHING PROGRAMS: https://www.matthewbivens.com/coaching/ * SEND ME A QUESTION: matthew@matthewbivens.com
In today's episode I'm sharing with you my tried and tested process for being more productive and feeling more fulfilled, by working smarter and not harder. I have been somewhat obsessed with productivity and work efficiency ever since graduating college. Once I jumped into the working world and realized that I could easily eat up 12 hours of my day on menial tasks and still not feel like I had really done anything, I got to work developing a better system for myself. I read articles and books, watched people's "life hack" tips, tried anything that seemed like it might work for me. Many things did not work, but a few did. Years later, I'm now in a new place in my life where being efficient and producing a lot in a short period of time is extremely important. I'm a new father to an 8 month old baby girl, I run multiple businesses from home, and I produce 2 podcasts. All of this happens from my house. On top of that, I frequently have solo daddy-baby time while Sarah is out training clients. So my windows of free time are slim. But that hasn't stopped me from taking on new and bigger projects, it has only encouraged me to hone a productivity system that worked for me In this episode I'm sharing with you the system that Sarah and I currently are using to maximize our productivity in our lives. This system is very similar to the one used by John Lee Dumas -- the host and creator of Entrepreneur On Fire, and a guy who is known to publish 7 podcasts a week while running his EOFire empire (which is pretty darn large). He does all of this with a very small tea working less than 4 hours a day. John was an early guest on this podcast, and even though we talked about productivity then, I didn't realize that our strategies to maximize our output were similar. So check out the episode and I hope you walk away from it with some actionable tips you can put to use right away to regain time, feel more productive, and truly Have It A.L.L.. Resources from this episode:
How to have fun and still be very successful
How I conquered the 8 hour work day
Pomodoro Technique
- LEAVE ME A REVIEW ON APPLE PODCASTS: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/having-it-all-conversations-about-living-an-abundant/id1093257684
- LEARN ABOUT MY COACHING PROGRAMS: https://www.matthewbivens.com/coaching/
- SEND ME A QUESTION: matthew@matthewbivens.com
Are you open to receiving feedback? Feedback is an integral part of the growth and evolution process. It's one of the most important ingredients to making improvements, progressing towards your goals, and ultimately creating a life where you feel like you "have it all". But it's also an area where many people struggle, because receiving feedback can be tough (especially to our egos). The best feedback coming from a loving, healthy source, means little to nothing if we take it personally and never do anything with the information. In today's episode I'm sharing the three types of feedback that exist, and talk about why each one is essential for your own growth and evolution. I also dig into why you keep experiencing the same results over and over in your life. * LEAVE ME A REVIEW ON APPLE PODCASTS: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/having-it-all-conversations-about-living-an-abundant/id1093257684 * LEARN ABOUT MY COACHING PROGRAMS: https://www.matthewbivens.com/coaching/ * SEND ME A QUESTION: matthew@matthewbivens.com
Are you aware of the impact of the excuses you make in your life? Your desires, wants, goals, aspirations all move you in a certain direction in your life. Excuses pull you in the complete opposite direction. This is true for all of us (it's principle, not personal). If you're playing for a life of abundance AND you're prone to making excuses, then buckle up because things are going to be rocky for you. In today's episode I'm sharing with you 5 excuses that are keeping you from the abundance you desire, and showing you how to end the excuse so that you can get to living your abundant loving life! Resources from this episode:
https://www.instagram.com/matthew_bivens/
https://www.facebook.com/YourDayBALANCEGame/
- LEAVE ME A REVIEW ON APPLE PODCASTS: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/having-it-all-conversations-about-living-an-abundant/id1093257684
- LEARN ABOUT MY COACHING PROGRAMS: https://www.matthewbivens.com/coaching/
- SEND ME A QUESTION: matthew@matthewbivens.com
What does it mean to be healthy and fit? How healthy and fit are you right now? I've shared a lot of different tools with you over the course of this podcast, and in today's episode I'm going to go deep into one particular tool/concept that I want you to really understand well, because your health depends on it! I'm talking about your Body Vehicle and the 5 wheels that make up your Body Vehicle: Mental, Spiritual, Social, Emotional and Physical. These 5 areas are what make up our health, and everyone is operating at different levels in each area. You may be operating at different levels in each area depending on what time of day it is! The Body Vehicle is a great framework for looking at your overall health and fitness, but actually putting it to use can be tough if you don't know where to start. Today that ends because I'm going to not only break down all 5 areas, but I'm going to give you very specific habits you can perform and incorporate into your life that will help you heal and grow in each of the 5 areas. By the end of the episode you'll feel so much more equipped to begin addressing the wheels of your Body Vehicle. Plus, I have a special offer if you're ready for the support, guidance and accountability in actually addressing your Body Vehicle so you can experience more health, fitness and balance. Links: Email me to talk about the Balance Chart and creating your personal Body Vehicle tool -- matthew@matthewbivens.com
- LEAVE ME A REVIEW ON APPLE PODCASTS: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/having-it-all-conversations-about-living-an-abundant/id1093257684
- LEARN ABOUT MY COACHING PROGRAMS: https://www.matthewbivens.com/coaching/
- SEND ME A QUESTION: matthew@matthewbivens.com
What does it mean to heal your inner child? The process of growing up into adulthood is filled with many impactful events, some empowering and others not. As children, we are experience life with little to no filter, leaving us open to experience hurts, fears, angers and traumas with an extreme level of intensity and realness. Those "wounds", when not addressed properly, carry into our adulthood and have a profound influence over our lives. In today's episode I'm sharing with you a recent experience where I had the opportunity to look at, talk with and heal my wounded inner child. Resources from this episode: Psychology Today Article: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/evil-deeds/200806/essential-secrets-psychotherapy-the-inner-child
- LEAVE ME A REVIEW ON APPLE PODCASTS: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/having-it-all-conversations-about-living-an-abundant/id1093257684
- LEARN ABOUT MY COACHING PROGRAMS: https://www.matthewbivens.com/coaching/
- SEND ME A QUESTION: matthew@matthewbivens.com
Have you experienced "personal development burnout"? You may not know exactly what it is, but your best guess is probably not far off! Personal development burnout is the feelings of overwhelm, guilt or obligation that can come up around the self improvement work you're doing to make empowering shifts in your life. As you work on improving yourself and creating a life you love living, sometimes you can feel shame or judgement around being where you are. The books, courses or podcasts that are meant to help you rise up, are instead creating feelings that are weighing you down. In today's episode I'm talking about personal development burnout and letting you know that it's okay to HIT PAUSE. * LEAVE ME A REVIEW ON APPLE PODCASTS: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/having-it-all-conversations-about-living-an-abundant/id1093257684 * LEARN ABOUT MY COACHING PROGRAMS: https://www.matthewbivens.com/coaching/ * SEND ME A QUESTION: matthew@matthewbivens.com
With your last major life challenge, did you seek out solutions from other people or from within yourself? You have a vast amount of wisdom and knowledge within yourself that can be used to helping you get unstuck in life. However, you probably don't trust it right now. Most people are so used to seeking out answers from others, that they are presented with a challenge in life they toss their hands up in the air and claim they don't know how to overcome it. I don't believe that at all, and after today's episode you won't either! In today's conversation I'm helping you tap back into your inner genius so that you can coach yourself on overcoming your own challenges and getting yourself unstuck. * LEAVE ME A REVIEW ON APPLE PODCASTS: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/having-it-all-conversations-about-living-an-abundant/id1093257684 * CHECK OUT THE ENTIRE HIA PODCAST CATALOGUE: https://podcast.matthewbivens.com/ * LEARN ABOUT MY COACHING PROGRAMS: https://www.matthewbivens.com/coaching/ * SEND ME A QUESTION: matthew@matthewbivens.com
What does it take to "have it all"? That really has been the purpose of this entire podcast, hasn't it?! Today we celebrate the podcast turning 6 years old, and it only seemed fitting to share with you 6 giant lessons from the last 6 years of Having It A.L.L.
- LEAVE ME A REVIEW ON APPLE PODCASTS: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/having-it-all-conversations-about-living-an-abundant/id1093257684
- LEARN ABOUT MY COACHING PROGRAMS: https://www.matthewbivens.com/coaching/
- SEND ME A QUESTION: matthew@matthewbivens.com
What are the habits that have created a big impact in your life? How do you keep positive momentum going when you get derailed? How do you deal with outside criticism and judgement? These are the listener questions that I'm answering in today's episode! Over the years you've sent in hundreds of questions for me, and today I'm taking a few of them and answering them from my perspective as both an individual working on leveling up their life, and as a personal transformation coach who has shifted many lives. Tune in and you'll learn about:
The habits that I do regularly that have a huge impact (and how to keep from being overwhelmed while building habits)
Ways to keep feeling empowered about life and not fall into a depressed state
The difference between criticism and feedback, and how to not take the latter personally
What questions do you want answered in a podcast? Email them to matthew@matthewbivens.com
- LEAVE ME A REVIEW ON APPLE PODCASTS: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/having-it-all-conversations-about-living-an-abundant/id1093257684
- LEARN ABOUT MY COACHING PROGRAMS: https://www.matthewbivens.com/coaching/
- SEND ME A QUESTION: matthew@matthewbivens.com
How do you feel about making commitments? About going "all in" in life? Making commitments is a part of success and part of turning a desire into reality. Anyone who has succeeded at anything significant has gone "all in" on themselves and on the results that they desired. There's great payout to going "all in", but there's also great risk. The risk lies in spending too much time in the "danger zone" of commitment. In this episode I'm going to share with you the process of making commitments and going all in, and explain what the "danger zone" is and why you find yourself in it. Understanding this can free you and unlock your ability to create your abundant loving life! * LEAVE ME A REVIEW ON APPLE PODCASTS: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/having-it-all-conversations-about-living-an-abundant/id1093257684 * LEARN ABOUT MY COACHING PROGRAMS: https://www.matthewbivens.com/coaching/ * SEND ME A QUESTION, COMMENT OR FEEDBACK: matthew@matthewbivens.com
When you think about sex, what is the goal for you? Is it to have an orgasm, or to make sure your partner has one? Is it to show your partner how much you love them and to validate your relationship? Is it something else? For most of my life, the goal of sex was orgasm. My orgasm mostly, but at times her orgasm was my priority as well. I picked that goal up from porn, from media, from peers. Sometimes the goal of sex for me was to fulfill the expectation (and sometimes obligation) of being "in love". It was a way to make myself feel like my relationship was mature, legitimate, and secure. Having goals like that created some interesting beliefs about sex, myself, my partner, intimacy, love, and relationships. (and by interesting I mean unhealthy, judgmental, scarce, intimidating, self deprecating, and sexist). But there are other goals of sex that can create a much more powerful, loving and connected experience. In today's episode I'm diving into the goal of sex and am serving up a few alternative perspectives that can help you create a more powerful and healthy sexual experience. It goes without saying on this one, but today's podcast is definitely explicit. So be mindful of listening around young ears. * LEARN ABOUT MY COACHING PROGRAMS: https://www.matthewbivens.com/coaching/ * SEND ME A QUESTION, COMMENT or FEEDBACK: matthew@matthewbivens.com
How can you improve any relationship in your life? Today I'm sharing with you an incredibly effective way to improve any relationship in your life, from a marriage to a friendship to your relationship with your boss or neighbor. This episode pulls from many past relationship experiences that have both improved and terminated. The advice today will totally change how you feel about your relationships and who you attract into your life. * APPLY FOR COACHING: https://www.matthewbivens.com/apply/ * SEND ME A QUESTION: matthew@matthewbivens.com
How are the laws of vibration and attraction impacting your life RIGHT NOW? Before being introduced to the words and works of Bob Proctor, I'd have no idea what the heck that question even meant! But today not only do I understand it, but I am very intentional about practicing it and aligning with these laws to create my Abundant Loving Life. And this is all in large part to Bob Proctor. On today's episode I want to take a minute to reflect on the life and lessons of Bob Proctor, who transitioned last week at the age of 87 years young. Bob Proctor's message came into my life when I was just starting to "work on myself" and became intentional about creating a better life for myself. I credit his ability to explain concepts which I was struggling to understand, for unlocking within me a way of looking at my life, my results, and my personal power. If you do not know who Bob Proctor was then I encourage you to check out the links below and start exploring. Much love! Resources from this episode:
Video - How The Law Of Attraction Works -
https://youtu.be/5zvnFM2BXqY
Video - What You Don't Know About Law Of Attraction -
https://youtu.be/4KdNYA4pEAM
Proctor Gallagher Institute website - https://www.proctorgallagherinstitute.com/
- LEARN ABOUT MY COACHING PROGRAMS: https://www.matthewbivens.com/coaching/
- SEND ME A QUESTION: matthew@matthewbivens.com
What's holding you back from creating a greater life for yourself this year? Well that's a loaded question, isn't it! Because if you knew what that answer was then maybe you'd feel more confident in making this your greatest year yet! Don't worry though, because today I'm sharing with you 3 habits that I've doubled down on to create even more results for myself in 2022. AND, I'm also going to share with you the reasons why you will probably not follow me in adopting these habits as well. My #1 goal is to help you HAVE IT ALL and create your own Abundant Loving Life. And my intention for today's episode is that you walk away feeling more confident in the tools you have at your disposal to build your dream life. Let's do this thing! Resources from this episode:
Mary J. Blige interview in Elle: https://www.elle.com/beauty/a38830509/mary-j-blige-the-state-of-black-beauty-super-bowl/
"Olympics 2012: Michael Phelps has mastered the psychology of speed" -
https://youtu.be/Htw780vHH0o
Mel Robbins "Why I NEVER keep my phone in my bedroom" - https://www.facebook.com/watch/?v=351551332326843&_rdr
- LEARN ABOUT MY COACHING PROGRAMS: https://www.matthewbivens.com/coaching/
- GRAB SOME FREE TOOLS: https://www.matthewbivens.com
- SEND ME A QUESTION: matthew@matthewbivens.com
The self improvement game is, many times, a public one. Spiritual, physical, mental and emotional self work can all be done in the open or with a group of people. And with group meditation and yoga and other similar things really taking off these days, one could buy into the idea that self improvement is a public act. But there's something so much more important than the things we're DOING to improve our relationship to our selves, others and life, and that's who we're BEING. I've talked about Doing vs Being on the podcast before, but today's topic takes it a degree further. Today I'm going in on the question: Who are you when no one is watching? So, I ask YOU -- when you're alone, in your secrecy, with no one watching and no one holding you accountable except for yourself, who are you? How do you treat yourself? What allowances do you give yourself? What language do you use to describe yourself and those around you? The way you answer those questions reveals more about your true state of being than other more outward displays of wellness. It's said that you have between 40,000 - 60,000 thoughts per day. If you were to categorize each as a LOVING thought or FEARFUL thought, what would your ratio be? What you'll hear in this episode:
How my secret self was exposed recently, and the consequences of my seeing the truth
The self talk that contributes to us playing small
The costs of not doing what you say you will do
- LEARN ABOUT MY COACHING PROGRAMS: https://www.matthewbivens.com/coaching/
- GRAB GREAT FREEBIES: https://www.matthewbivens.com
- SEND ME A QUESTION: matthew@matthewbivens.com
What "leaks" do you have in your life that need addressing? As you plan out your goals and intentions for 2022, it's important to not only think about the new things you desire, but also to understand the old stuff that you need to address once and for all. These "leaks" can be tough to identify, because focusing on the immediate problem is easier than really getting to the root of what's going on. But if you fail to identify the essence of your challenges, problems and breakdowns, then (1) they will never fully be resolved, (2) they will return in some form, and (3) you will not be able to reach the greatest heights of happiness, peace, freedom and health that you have the potential to reach. My relationships, career and health were stuck for years because I didn't fix my leaks. But I chose to dig in, do the hard and uncomfortable work, and address the things that I had been avoiding (or completely unaware of). Those choices have led me to where I am today, and my relationships, career and health have reached levels I didn't think was possible for me. Tune in as I share the story of my leaky basement, to help motivate you to finally address the leaks in your life. LEARN ABOUT MY COACHING PROGRAMS: https://www.matthewbivens.com/coaching/ VISIT MY WEBSITE: https://www.matthewbivens.com ASK ME A QUESTION: matthew@matthewbivens.com
What is it that you want to create for yourself and your life in 2022? I have a tradition here on Having It A.L.L. that at the top of each year I help you create an amazing year. And in this episode I'm doing just that! But today, we're taking things up a notch and I'm sharing with you the simple 3 step formula that you can follow to create massive results in your life in 2022. When you study the masters, you spot patterns of effectiveness and success. I'm excited to bring you a pattern of success that I've applied in my life to have it all, and I've seen at play in countless other success stories. Get your pens and papers ready, we're about to do some work! Resources from this episode:
Creating Your Word For The Year, 2021 Edition - https://podcast.matthewbivens.com/creating-your-word-for-the-year-2021-edition/
Special LIVE Episode: Create Your Word For The Year Workshop - https://podcast.matthewbivens.com/special-live-episode-create-your-word-for-the-year-workshop/
How To Discipline Your Thinking So That You Get What You Really Want In Life! Self Mastery Wisdom From Dr. Joe Dispenza, Abraham Hicks and Shi Heng Yi - https://podcast.matthewbivens.com/how-to-discipline-your-thinking-so-that-you-get-what-you-really-want-in-life-self-mastery-wisdom-from-dr-joe-dispenza-abraham-hicks-and-shi-heng-yi/
Steve Harvey's message about "Ask, believe, work" - https://youtu.be/WKroVMnxnMI
Interested in coaching with me? See my current coaching programs and fill out my coaching application at matthewbivens.com/apply. Want to get in touch with me directly? Shoot me an email at matthew@matthewbivens.com.
"What are 3 things you want the world to know about caring for women?" My friend, Dr. Nathan Riley, asked me that question on his podcast, The Holistic OBGYN, and it sparked a really great conversation between the two of us. I'm excited to share that full conversation with you today! Here are links to Dr. Nathan Riley's podcast, website and Instagram:
Podcast - https://www.holisticobgynpod.com/
Website - https://www.belovedholistics.com/
Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/nathanrileyobgyn/
Interested in coaching with me, but want to learn more? Fill out my coaching application and set up a free consultation call with me at matthewbivens.com/apply. Want to get in touch with me directly? Shoot me an email at matthew@matthewbivens.com.
What are your core beliefs when it comes to relationships? Your beliefs influence your thoughts and actions, and shape the results that you create. Hold onto a belief that's ineffective and not-so-powerful, and the result may be something that you don't like. In today's episode I'm joined by my Queen, Sarah Bivens, and we're diving into some big relationship myths and misconceptions that we have believed that have lead to unhappiness in our relationships. My intention with this episode is for you to be aware of the impact that your core beliefs have, and to start thinking about the beliefs that are shaping your relationships. Fill out my coaching application and set up a free consultation call with me at matthewbivens.com/apply. If you want to get in touch with me to ask questions, give feedback, or inquire about my coaching offerings, shoot me an email at matthew@matthewbivens.com.
Are you one of the 92% of people who never come close to completing their New Year's Resolutions? As you can tell by the title, I don't like New Year's Resolutions at all. I'm all for people committing to better themselves, but the New Year's Resolutions framework is not set up for you to succeed. In today's episode I share why I dislike New Year's Resolutions and what to do instead if you want to start off your year on a powerful note.
Now accepting applications for the 2022 HIA Personal Transformation Program Apply today at https://www.matthewbivens.com/apply/
If you want to get in touch with me to ask questions, give feedback, or inquire about my coaching offerings, shoot me an email at matthew@matthewbivens.com.
Have you ever found yourself at a crossroads where you knew with all your soul that one decision was better for you than another, yet making that decision was terrifying? I've shared various parts of my story over the 5+ years of this podcast, and there's a theme that comes up for me often: crossroads moments. I can think to a handful of very specific, very powerful moments where the choices I made sent my life in a whole new direction. On today's episode, I'm sharing with you an interview that I did with my good friend Ross Leppala, host of the great podcast Project UnchainED. In this conversation Ross is interviewing me, which is a great reversal of roles. What I love about Ross is that he has his own very powerful story about a crossroads moment in his life, which propelled him down the path of spiritual and transformational self work. I won't share the details here because I really want you to go listen to Ross's podcast to hear the story (he shares it in the very first episode of Project UnchainED). In this interview Ross and I get very open, raw and real about a lot of topics: love vs fear, sexual healing, monogamy, and more. This was a fun conversation for me and I hope it brings up some uncomfortable things within you for you to look at and explore! If you want to connect with Ross here's how you can do it:
Podcast: Project UnchainED
Instagram: ross.leppala
Facebook: Ross Leppala
Email: theakleprechaun@gmail.com
Announcements from me! I have 3 coaching slots opening up starting January 2022. So if you're looking to feel more purposeful, confident and clear about your life and what you want out of it, then fill out my coaching application at matthewbivens.com/coaching. You can also email me with any questions you have at matthew@matthewbivens.com.
What shame are you hiding? Fellas, this episode is for you. As a man, I've carried with me different types of shame through my life that have had a big impact on how I see the world and operate in it. I learned early on that burying my shame and pretending it wasn't there was the safest way for me to operate. The truth is, it's not. And for me, it took years of living in denial and robbing myself of true joy and fulfillment, that finally helped me see that. In today's episode we're tackling a topic that lives within many men -- shame. I'm pulling from various sources here to help you understand shame, watch how it plays out in the lives of men like you, and see how other men are choosing to face it. My intention with this episode is that it inspires you to look into those dark corners of yourself where you have been hiding your shame, and finally choose to bring it out into the light. Do you want some support or coaching on overcoming your shame? Email me and take the next step towards eliminating shame from your life - matthew@matthewbivens.com.
Resources from this episode:
Institute Of OM - https://instituteofom.com/
Article "Shame: The Core Issue For Many Men - https://menscenter.org/shame/
Will Smith Youtube series "Best Shape Of My Life", Episode 2: My Secret Shame -
https://youtu.be/ZvYPIJT6JpM
Will Smith Youtube series "Best Shape Of My Life", Episode 4: I'm Sorry Mama - https://youtu.be/B2TlsHdpY_4
The Dad Edge Podcast interview with Lewis Howes - https://thedadedge.com/lewis-howes/
How do you bounce back when your world gets rocked? When everything seems to be going wrong in your life? When your dreams are shattered? Disappointment is interesting. It can be focused internally on ourselves, or externally on others. But no matter where the focus is, the root of it is some sort of attachment and typically judgement. When you get swept up in the emotions around disappointment, it's easy to be carried off in the direction of disempowering emotions and thoughts. The sequence can go like this: you feel the disappointment, you start to judge or take something personally or get angry or react, which leads you to more fear based feelings and thoughts, which pulls you down further. But spotting this behavior and recognizing it at the moment of the triggering event is key to being able to rise above those feelings and stay in your power, in the face of the disappointment. In today's episode I share with you what inspired me to jump off the couch, grab my mic, and record this very podcast! If you want to get in touch with me to ask questions, give feedback, or inquire about my coaching offerings, shoot me an email at matthew@matthewbivens.com.
Have you ever felt completely lost in your life? Like you didn't know what you were "supposed" to do, who you should be as a person, and what your true passion was? You can't see it, but I'm raising both hands at that! I spent my teens and twenties in a state of confusion about all of those things. And truth be told, the fog is still lifting, as I'm constantly getting to know myself better and learning what it truly means to trust my intuition. In today's episode I'm sharing the mic with Paul Colaianni - personal empowerment coach and host of The Overwhelmed Brain Podcast. Paul and I talk about introversion and finding your way in life. The topic comes by way of a listener email. In this case, a listener of Paul's podcast The Overwhelmed Brain reached out to him for advice. What you're hearing on today's show is me joining Paul on his podcast to answer his listener question. If you consider yourself an introvert, have felt lost in life, have never really felt like you know who you should be as a person, and feel like you're lacking direction, then this is an episode to tune into!
Resources from this episode:
Paul's podcast and website: https://theoverwhelmedbrain.com/
My free tool for you, the Abundant Loving Life Quiz (formerly the Abundance Benchmark): https://www.matthewbivens.com/quiz/
If you want to get in touch with me to ask questions, give feedback, or inquire about my coaching offerings, shoot me an email at matthew@matthewbivens.com.
When was the last time you had a major breakdown in confidence and self worth? So often when our confidence is shook and we're questioning our own value, it's a major challenge to recover and get back into a powerful place. I have too many stories that are a testament to this. In today's episode I'm sharing one of these stories - my recent experience attending my wife's high school reunion. I went through the gamut of emotions, limiting beliefs, and self deprecating stories, leading up to and during this reunion. I questioned my abilities as an entrepreneur, husband and provide. It was fascinating!! The whole experience was so eye opening to me that I'm still extracting lessons from it months later. In the episode you're going to hear me talk about:
What initially came up for me when I first heard we'd be going to the reunion
How my fears, judgements, and self-worth conversations impacted how I showed up
What I tried in the moment to get myself out of my head and ego, and into my heart and power
And what I would do differently next time now being on the other side of the experience
If you want to get in touch with me to ask questions, give feedback, or inquire about my coaching offerings, shoot me an email at matthew@matthewbivens.com.
What does it mean to "discipline your thinking" and how is this directly tied to you feeling like you have it all? I want to shine light on what is probably the biggest thing keeping you from having it all in your life -- undisciplined thinking. Undisciplined thinking is being a victim to your thoughts. Undisciplined thinking leads to feelings of angst, fear, worry, anxiety, anger, resentment, and pain....consistently. Undisciplined thinking, when left unchecked, will be what sabotages you from HAVING IT ALL and truly being in love with your life. I had my own experiences recently that showed me where I was in my mental discipline, and laid out in front of me very plainly how chaotic things can get within my mind and body when my thoughts are left unchecked. Ask yourself this question: how disciplined am I with my thoughts, one a 1-10? How effective am I at steering my thoughts in a direction I want them to go in? How comfortable am I being with my own thoughts? In today's episode, I'm bringing you wisdom from Dr. Joe Dispenza, Abraham Hicks and Shi Heng Yi about the power of your thinking and the importance of cultivating control over your thoughts. Learning these tips WILL allow you to create what you desire in your life and truly feel like you have it all! If you want to reach out to me with episode topic suggestions, feedback about the podcast in general, or just to say hi, you can email me at matthew@matthewbivens.com. Resources from this episode:
Study from Science.org - https://www.science.org/content/article/people-would-rather-be-electrically-shocked-left-alone-their-thoughts-rev2
Full Dr. Joe Dispenza video - https://youtu.be/YD7dsuiiRvs
Full Abraham Hicks video - https://youtu.be/c_sovnkUuMs
Full Shi Heng Yi video - https://youtu.be/JgwsQVUjkPQ
How attached are you to the way you feel your life should look like? If you're frustrated with the way things are right now... If you're annoyed because something in your life is not going according to your plan... If you're experiencing anxiety because the goals you set are not being met in the timeframe you wanted them to... Then we are in the same place, and this episode is for you.
Have you considered starting a podcast? If yes: Awesome! If no, why the heck not?? This is an amazing time to start a podcast: more and more people are listening each day, the space is not too crowded yet, your voice/story/message need to be heard right now, and you've got the time on your hands😉 So, I totally think you should do it. Seriously! Podcasting has changed my life in ways I could not ever imagine, and I know it can offer so much to you as well. In this robust episode I'm sharing with you tons of information about podcasting, including:
How podcasting has changed my life
Why you should consider starting a podcast right now
Myths that scare people away
How podcasting actually works
My process from turning your idea into a podcast
Mistakes to avoid
Tips from a seasoned podcaster
Let's dive in! If you want to get in touch with me about podcasting or anything else, email me at matthew@matthewbivens.com or DM me on Instagram @matthew_bivens
Do you have principles? What are they? How do you use them? Are you confident that you know what living a principally based life means? Today I'm shining light on this idea of "principles" that so many self help gurus and successful people tout as the key to living a great life. You will learn the 5 key principles that I choose to live my life by and I show you how you can live by them too.
Why does it feel so hard at times to not take things personally? We hear the phrase "don't take this personally" all the time. You've probably said it to someone before making some potentially hurtful or offensive statement. It's such an easy idea, but boy can it be tough! For me, I used to take things very personally. Growing up, my emotions would be triggered by the slightest look or question that I felt was off or directed at me in a malicious way. I made villains out of a lot of people, I felt small and hurt often, and I just plain took things personally really frequently. But I had my breakthrough moment! Yes, I was able to connect with some deep truths about myself and others that have helped me learn to not take things personally. And today I'm going to share those truths with you so that you too can break free from the trap of taking things personally in life.
What are you playing for in life? Each of us have something we're striving for in our lives. Some reason that we're waking up each morning and doing what we do. You already know the power of being intentional and having a vision for your life. One powerful tool that I've used to help me become the person I want to become, is a personal mission statement. In today's episode I'm sharing with you my new personal mission statement and unpacking all of its elements.
What is something that you've always wanted to do, but you know you've let fear and discomfort hold you back? It's the first week of September, and that means Fall is officially here. You've been putting in deposits into your tank for a while now, and now it's time for you to act. In today's episode I'm setting up a context for getting into action to do things you've been afraid to do, to experience things you've always wanted to experience.
In today's episode I'm sharing a way for you to learn how to change your relationship towards stress. If you're used to feeling stressed out with ish hits the fan, and you have been unable to shift that feeling, then tune in! I'm going to share with you how you can use exercise to learn how to deal with stress more effectively.
This episode is all about FAITH, but not in the most widely used sense. I’m talking about having supreme confidence and trust in someone or something. I look at faith like this: FAITH = TRUST + SURRENDER. On Sunday September 11th, 2016, Sarah and I welcomed the birth of our daughter Maya. Through that experience I both witnessed and practiced the most humbling amount of trust and surrender that I have in my life thus far. Sarah surrendered to her body, to the labor waves, to her coaches. I trusted in our preparation, in the team we assembled, and in my ability to support. Witnessing what I can only describe as pure faith on the parts of everyone involved, I began to think about the other areas in my life where my personal faith is lacking. Where I’m failing to trust someone or something, and where I’m fighting for control rather than surrendering. This episode is all about faith, trust and surrender. I briefly talk about Maya’s birth experience, but spend the bulk of the episode diving into what it looks and feels like when we lack faith in our lives. What you’ll hear in this episode:
A powerful re-contextualization of faith that you can apply to your life
Examples of what lacking faith, trust and surrender look and feel like
A call for you to examine what processes you’re hindering through your lack of faith
By now you might have heard of the Tony Robbins documentary “I am not your guru”. It’s been making its way around Netflix and the internet. If you haven’t seen it, I recommend you give it a watch! Well, I checked it out the other day and can honestly say that few other documentaries have inspired me as much as this one. It wasn’t Tony Robbins who inspired me. I love his approach to personal transformation. I love how raw and real he is. I love his boldness and that he’s not afraid to call people on their bullshit. All of that makes for some compelling tv! But no, it wasn’t Tony who inspired me. Instead, I was inspired by the people in the documentary who recognized their opportunity for breakthrough, and boldly stepped into it. This happens a handful of times in the documentary, and each time it’s amazing to watch them process the situation, become aware of their breakthrough moment, analyze the risk/reward, confront the terror that comes up, and take ACTION! This episode is about what it really takes to experience a breakthrough in your life. To get unstuck. To start experiencing things in a dramatically different way. It takes action. It takes movement. It takes getting out of your head and getting into your heart and doing something that you know to be the best move for you, but terrifies you completely.
Are you able to answer the question -- "What would have to happen in order for you to feel fulfilled in your life?" If you're struggling with feeling fulfilled then LISTEN UP! Today I'm sharing with you a very simple method for answering that fulfillment question, so you can both FEEL and BE more fulfilled in your life. Links:
Purpose Webinar
Having It A.L.L. Blueprint Course
In today's episode I'm sharing an example of consistency that I experience in my life every week. His name is Robert Monroe and he has been on this podcast before. In the episode titled "“You Have To Move Your Feet”: A Story About Seeing the Beauty in All of Life’s Circumstances", Robert shares his inspiring story and message about moving through life's circumstances. This past week I received a lesson in consistency and was inspired by just how consistent Robert had been over the past 12 months in being intentional about transforming his health. I leave with you some very simple tips about creating more consistency in your life that will help you build momentum and have it all. Show notes: Check out my earlier conversation with Robert - “You Have To Move Your Feet”: A Story About Seeing the Beauty in All of Life’s Circumstances
What subjects are off limits to you? What things do you avoid in your life like the plague? Most people have some topics that they refuse to address. These "taboo subjects" are robbing you of your power, your freedom and your life! If you want to truly have it all and live the life you're meant to live, then you MUST start addressing these things in a real way. Today I talk about how to do just that. Curious about working with me 1:1? Learn more and connect with me here: https://www.matthewbivens.com/coaching/
As your responsibilities go up (new children, new job, more lovers), is your capacity to handle these new responsibilities going up as well? For most, the answer is something like "I don't even think about my capacity when I take on new life stressors". And if that sounds like you, then this episode will help you become aware of your current capacity and will give you very actionable steps to raise your ability to handle the life you've created.
Where do you spend most of your emotional time and energy: in things you can influence or in things you have zero control over? If you're a proactive person who takes response-ability for their lives, then you absolutely focus on the things you can influence. Reactive people spend their time focusing on things that they have zero control over. The difference between circle of influence and circle of concern is at the heart of today's podcast.
Can you have it all? This was the question that launched this podcast. 5 years later, and my answer to that question hasn't wavered one bit: Yes, you absolutely can! There's no "...BUT" at the end of the statement either. You can have it all in life, AND I'll show you how it's possible! In today's episode I'm talking about why so many people get it wrong when they're talking about and pursing having it all, and how you can do it in a more effective, joyful and fulfilling way. If you want to reach out to me with episode topic suggestions, feedback about the podcast in general, or just to say hi, you can do so in two ways:
Email me at matthew@matthewbivens.com
DM me on Instagram @matthew_bivens
Why do people, supplied with wisdom and a clear path of action, not experience breakthroughs? Why is it that we can be so clear that addressing our beliefs, paradigms and traumas around sex will be so healing and beneficial, but we never take the next step? Sex has been the most challenging and rewarding space for healing in my life. Challenging because the pages of my sexual story (like so many others) were written many years ago and reinforced by unhealthy beliefs and habits around sex. But I experienced a massive breakthrough around sex (many, actually), and as a result I've seen my self esteem, self worth and self acceptance reach heights I didn't know possible for myself. If you've been a listener for a long period of time, you've heard me chronicle these things on the show. As a life coach, I help men and women who are seeking their own breakthroughs in life. And sex is an area where so many of us are stuck, unexpressed and overall have unhealthy relationships with. On today's episode I share with you things I've learned from my experience as a life coach, and wisdom I've gained from addressing my biggest fears around sex. Everyone, yes everyone, is capable of experiencing sexual breakthroughs. You can absolutely feel different about sex, your sexual past, and your sexual future. Nothing is written in stone, and you have the power to rewrite your story. Links from this episode:
Sex Work Is Soul Work article by Kimberly Ann Johnson
Email me at matthew@matthewbivens.com
DM me on Instagram @matthew_bivens
Search and find all Having It A.L.L. episodes on my website at matthewbivens.com
What do you enjoy in the bedroom? How do you express yourself sexually (or not)? In life, self expression is a major part of understanding yourself, growing, living life to the fullest. It's the same in the realm of sex! Often we choose not to fully express ourselves in sex because of fear of judgement, pushback, ridicule, condemnation, and so many other things rooted in fears. In today's episode I'm helping you get clear on what you enjoy in the bedroom, and we're discussing how to express yourself more in the bedroom. If you want to reach out to me with episode topic suggestions, feedback about the podcast in general, or just to say hi, you can do so in two ways:
Email me at matthew@matthewbivens.com
DM me on Instagram @matthew_bivens
Does your sex life have to change for the worse after kids? We know of course the answer is “No, it doesn’t”, but how do you keep it from turning stale? How do you keep the fire burning for your partner after you’ve had a kid or two?" Today I'm bringing you a "SEX-PISODE" from my other podcast, Doing It At Home, where my wife Sarah and I get real about what our sex life has been like after having a baby. There are three main areas we’re going to focus on:
How we schedule sex into our busy lives
Why keeping the flame burning is important to us
The ebbs and flows our sex lives have taken as we progressed from a married couple, to being pregnant, to having a brand new baby, to now being parents for a period of time
We’re getting raw and honest in this episode, and it’s our hope that hearing us talk about these topics will give you permission to explore these things on your own. We want to create and hold a space of open and honest communication, first and foremost with yourself, but also with the person/people you choose to share a bed with. Sexual energy is life energy, and it’s time to create a more empowered conversation around sex.
If you want to reach out to me with episode topic suggestions, feedback about the podcast in general, or just to say hi, you can do so in two ways:
Email me at matthew@matthewbivens.com
DM me on Instagram @matthew_bivens
Resources from this episode:
Doing It At Home website: https://www.diahpodcast.com/
Doing It At Home Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/diahpodcast/
Doing It At Home Facebook Group: https://bit.ly/3jKtIYv
How was your first sexual experience? How would you describe it in two words? Our first experience with sex tends to leave a lasting impression on us. Sex is viewed as a right of passage, a transition point where there's no going back. Some people enter into their first sexual experience having had healthy, mature and empowering conversations about sex, but many do not. They are equipped with the ideas, beliefs, stories and feelings about sex that they picked up from their peers, tv, society and parents and teachers who themselves may not have a healthy and empowering view of sex. As a result, our first sexual experiences leave a lasting impression on us that set the stage for the rest of our lives. In today's episode we're diving into our first sexual experiences with the goal of examining it from an empowered and mature perspective. You have the power to rescript what sex means to you, and to write your personal sexual story (past and future) in a way that leaves you feeling confident and uplifted.
If you want to reach out to me with episode topic suggestions, feedback about the podcast in general, or just to say hi, you can do so in two ways:
Email me at matthew@matthewbivens.com
DM me on Instagram @matthew_bivens
Resources from this episode: Can Your Sexual Debut Predict Your Future?
What is your sexual story? No, I'm not talking about a romance novel type of story. I'm talking about the narrative you have around sex, the one that was started many years ago with your very first encounters with the ideas, feelings and attitudes around sex. We all have a sexual story that was started when we were young and is being added to constantly. Many people's stories around sex are based in shame, judgement, embarrassment and expectation. That leads to sexual experiences and feelings that are unhealthy and certainly don't uplift and heal. But it doesn't have to be that way! You can rewrite your sexual story, heal those sexual wounds you carry, and create an entirely new sexual experience for yourself that's based in love, feels authentic, and full of genuine connection. Today I'm kicking off a series about sex which will help you transform your views on sex, from the inside out. If you want to reach out to me with episode topic suggestions, feedback about the podcast in general, or just to say hi, you can do so in two ways:
Email me at matthew@matthewbivens.com
DM me on Instagram @matthew_bivens
How stressed out do you feel right now? Have you dealt with stress earlier today or this week? We all experience stress, it's part of life. But not everybody relates to stress in the same way. You have your own go-to methods for dealing with your stress, and some are more effective than others. Years ago it became a personal mission of mine to get on top of my stress and anxiety, and learn how to deal with it in more healthy ways. Drinking, smoking and pornography were not leading me down the path I wanted, and so I sought out other means of relating to the circumstances in my life. In today's episode I'm sharing with you a massive breakthrough I had that led to me looking at stress in a whole new way. The "7 minutes" breakthrough as I like to call it, has helped me get back into my center when life's stressors have knocked me out of alignment. I'm sharing this with you today with the goal of inspiring you to take a harder look at your triggers and the things that stress you out in life, and to seek out true healing so you can experience the joy you truly desire.
If you want to reach out to me with episode topic suggestions, feedback about the podcast in general, or just to say hi, you can do so in two ways:
Email me at matthew@matthewbivens.com
DM me on Instagram @matthew_bivens
Resources from this episode:
Compassionate Inquiry: Diffuse Your Emotional Triggers with Dr. Gabor Mate
Chronic Stress Puts Your Health At Risk
Sympathetic vs. Parasympathetic State: How Stress Affects Your Health
Other Having It A.L.L. episodes about stress with action items and takeaways:
How To Coach Yourself Through The Chronic Stresses Of Everyday Life
A Powerful Method For Changing Your Relationship Towards Stress - How To Learn To Love Stress Through Exercise
The STOP Method For De-Stressing and Reclaiming Balance In 30 Seconds
Learn How To Master Your Stress (Instead Of Running From It) So That You Can Be Calm In The Face Of Fire
A 15 Minute Meditation For Easing Stress, Fear and Anxiety (from Katie Krimitsos of the Women's Meditation Network Podcast)
The Balance Experts Have Spoken! 10 Expert Tips On Living A Life Of Balance (Plus 15 More You're Really Going To Want To Use In Your Life)
3 Underlying Reasons Why You Don't Have Balance (And What To Do About Them)
How do you feel about meditation? What about meditating in the shower?? Meditation and mindfulness are two of the most powerful self care habits available to all of us. If you don't have a meditation or mindfulness practice currently, I highly recommend you start creating one (see my episodes on meditation for simple ways to get started). Over the years I've developed a nice arsenal of self-care tools that I can deploy when I'm feeling stuck, challenged, frustrated or stressed. Meditating while in the shower has been very effective for me over the years as a way to eliminate stress and get back into my "sweet spot". In today's episode I break down what shower meditation is, how I practice it, and walk you through steps to trying it our for yourself. If you want to reach out to me with episode topic suggestions, feedback about the podcast in general, or just to say hi, you can do so in two ways:
Email me at matthew@matthewbivens.com
DM me on Instagram @matthew_bivens
Do you enjoy pain? Most people don't, and it makes sense. Pain hurts. Pain is uncomfortable. Pain isn't something that a sane person wants to run towards. Yet, what if I told you that pain was inevitable....that whether you chose to step up, stay put or step back, pain would be present. Would that change the choices you made? In today's episode I share with you the illusion of pain, and how we trap ourselves believing that we are avoiding pain. A quote from the psychiatrist R.D. Laing sums it up nicely: “Pain in this life is not avoidable, but the pain we create avoiding pain is avoidable.” If you want to reach out to me with episode topic suggestions, feedback about the podcast in general, or just to say hi, you can do so in two ways:
Email me at matthew@matthewbivens.com
DM me on Instagram @matthew_bivens
Where are you not feeling fully expressed? Self expression is one of the most important aspects of Having It All. Allowing yourself to be, do and say what is real and true for you is as important as breathing. However, it's a habit that can easily be overlooked and brushed aside. In today's episode I break down the importance of feeling fully expressed, the consequences of not living a life of authenticity, and how you can start expressing yourself more and more in your everyday life. Buckle in because you will feel inspired to take action after listening to this episode! If you want to reach out to me with episode topic suggestions, feedback about the podcast in general, or just to say hi, you can do so in two ways:
Email me at matthew@matthewbivens.com
DM me on Instagram @matthew_bivens
What does "self love" really mean? Self love conversations are ubiquitous these days. Everyone's talking about. But beyond "positive self affirmations" and "choosing healthy foods" do we really know what self love means? Do we understand what the essence of self love is and how certain activities that we do, many times without thinking, are undermining all of the surface level self love work we put so much effort into? In this episode I'm going to give you a completely new way to look at self love. It's not another thing for you to do, but a lens through which to look at all of your self love activities. This was a fun episode for me because I recorded the entire thing while I was walking to the movies. Sarah was out of town with the car for the weekend, and when I wanted to go catch a movie it meant I was walking. During my walk I was observing how taking myself to movies was an act of self love, and the idea for this episode was born. Once you listen, I'd love to hear your thoughts, comments, and feedback on the episode. You can email me directly at matthew@matthewbivens.com or reach out on Instagram @matthew_bivens.
No matter what your thoughts are on fasting, one thing that's undeniable is that you currently have some sort of relationship with food, with eating and with your emotions, and they are doing a dance together that's either raising your health or lowering it! For me, I love fasting as a tool for healing (physically as well as emotionally, mentally and spiritually). I've been turning to fasting on a consistent basis since 2015, and it has changed my life. In today's conversation I'm sharing with you my biggest insights from a 3-day juice fast I recently did, and I'm relating these insights in a way that you're guaranteed to be able to apply them to your life (whether you've ever fasted or not). Bottoms up!
Do you consider yourself a Perfectionist? Are you constantly feeling like you're not doing or being enough? Do you judge yourself harshly because you're failing to live up to your standards or expectations? So many of us suffer from the need to be "perfect". Logically you understand that perfection is not possible, yet you still hold this impossible standard for yourself in life (perhaps as a parent or entrepreneur or friend or just as yourself). I have had my struggles with perfectionism, and as I've wrestled with it over the years I've discovered a way to stop stressing about being perfect and instead focus on making incremental progress. In today's episode I'm talking about progress versus perfection, and I'm giving you real strategies that you can apply in your life to focus more on making small steps forward and less on being perfect. Want to get in touch with me to share your experience with perfectionism? Email me at matthew [at] matthewbivens [dot] com, or DM me on Instagram @matthew_bivens.
Where are you feeling stuck in life? We all have an "Epic Challenge" - an area in our lives where we're feeling stuck, where we're not enjoying the experience and are having a hard time changing things. In today's episode I'm sharing with you my most recent Epic Challenge which was creating a lot of stress and frustration in my life. I'm peeling back the layers on what I go through to face my challenges, and the people and processes that I've brought into my life to help me. Want to get in touch with me to share your Epic Challenge? Email me at matthew [at] matthewbivens [dot] com, or DM me on Instagram @matthew_bivens.
In what ways do you manipulate in relationships? I asked the question in that way because manipulation is something we can all easily do in relationships. It's not always overt and easy to spot. Sometimes it's very subtle and may not even be something you're consciously aware of. Yet, no matter the type of manipulation, it's evidence of deeply unhealthy feelings and beliefs about ourselves. In today's episode I'm reading an email from a listener who wants some help with her manipulative tendencies in relationships. I talk about the origins of manipulation, how to peel back the layers to address what's really going on, and ways to stop the manipulative behavior as it's happening. I encourage you to listen to this episode whether you're in a relationship or not, because as you'll learn the origins of manipulation have nothing to do with other people. They have everything to do with how we feel about ourselves. Want to reach out to me directly with episode ideas, feedback or anything else? Email me at matthew [at] matthewbivens [dot] com or direct message me on Instagram @matthew_bivens
Where are you experiencing a lot of resistance in your life? Chances are, the thing you're resisting most is actually the thing that contains that answer to you getting unstuck and ultimately having what you want in life. Today I'm talking about resistance: why we resist, what it looks like, what it does to us, and how to learn to level up our maturity so that we can ultimately get what we want in life. Resources
The Challenge Of Change: Are You The River Or The Rock? article by Dennis Merritt Jones
How well are you caring for your fitness? We experience life through our bodies. Our health and fitness reveals the relationship that we have with life. So what is your fitness telling you about how you deal with life? No matter where you are in your fitness, there's room for improvement so that you can create the results and the EXPERIENCE that you truly desire. This is the first episode in April, which means it's our Monthly Habit Focus series. And as you've already guessed, this month we're focusing on your FITNESS. In today's episode I'm going to answer questions like:
How do you get motivated to build a fitness routine?
What helps make working out and exercising easier?
How do you overcome the biggest obstacles to sticking with a fitness routine?
By the end of this episode you'll walk away with a deeper internal motivation for improving your fitness, practical tips on creating a winning fitness routine (no matter where you're starting from), and some of the biggest mental blocks keeping you from improving your fitness. If you want to get in touch with me, email me at matthew [at] matthewbivens [dot] com, or hit me up on Instagram @matthew_bivens.
How intentional are you with the way you start and end your day? For years I completely neglected the importance of my morning and nighttime routines. No one taught me to think otherwise and therefore I simply rolled out of bed into life and went from there. But as I began to take on more roles and responsibilities in my life (like becoming a parent and starting a new business), and began to feel the weight of life itself, I realized that the way I began and ended my day had a tremendous impact on what happened during my waking hours. In today's episode I share with you the very specific habits and routines I use in the morning and evening to set myself up for success each day. Show Notes:
Episode on my Mission Statement - https://www.havingitallpodcast.com/single-post/My-Personal-Mission-Statement-Why-Knowing-What-Youre-Playing-For-Will-Change-Your-Life
Balance Chart App - https://www.theydbg.com/
Headspace - https://www.headspace.com/
Evernote - https://evernote.com/
What regrets do you have in life? In today's episode I'm sharing a moving and insightful essay written by Bronnie Ware - a nurse who took care of patients in their final days of life. Over the years of her work, she asked her patients if they had any regrets from their life as they faced their death. The patterns she saw emerge with deep and powerful. I share with you the 5 regrets of the dying in this episode, so you can take a moment to evaluate whether you're on the path to experience any of them in your life. Resources: Bronnie Ware’s article “Regrets Of The Dying”
Are you ready for a raw and honest conversation about sexual confidence? Today I'm talking about sexual confidence and male performance anxiety: what it looks like, how it happens, how we feed it, and how we heal it. This episode was inspired by an article in Mens Health by Jason Rogers. In the powerful article, Jason opens up about his challenges with performance anxiety and how it impacted him in the bedroom and on the Olympic stage. Jason's article in Men's Health
How do you stop the process of self sabotaging? That's a million dollar question if I've ever heard one! I think most, if not all, of us can relate to self sabotage. We know what it feels like to see the potential for our greatness, and to do things to undermine our success. In today's episode I'm answering a great question from a listener that starts with self sabotage, and ends up going into some really awesome directions addressing goals, visualization and mission statements. Here is the original question from listener Kayla that I answer in the episode: How do I stop self sabotage? I feel like I am so good at setting goals and visualizing my perfect life but when the universe throws me a giant test to live into my mission statement and goals, I feel like I fail. Even whenI am disciplined I feel like it is short lived and I end up right where I started. How can I bridge the gap between creating goals and actually attaining them for true transformation?
What thoughts, feelings and emotions come up for you when you think about your MONEY? Money is one of those taboo topics in society -- it's not cool to ask another person about their money, many people feel uncomfortable talking about their own money with even their spouse or best friend, and yet money is something that touches every single one of us. We either feel abundant about money, or scarce. Excited or intimidated. Confident in our ability to manage and multiply it, or scared and inexperienced around it (which leads to immature money money behavior and habits). It's time that ends! You can feel different about money. You can have a different money situation (if you choose). You have the ability to make it so! Therefore, for the month of March we are going to focus on getting our money in order. No matter how much money you make or where you are in your relationship to money, there are always things you can address. So get ready to address them starting today! Here are the resources I mention in this episode:
Sexual Confidence And Male Performance Anxiety: A Vulnerable Sex Conversation Inspired By Jason Rogers
Mint
Dave Ramsey's 7 Baby Steps
Dave Ramsey's Financial Peace
NerdWallet.com
Soldier of Finance by Jeff Rose
Jeff Rose's YouTube channel
You Are A Badass At Making Money by Jen Sincero
Money: Master The Game by Tony Robbins
Need some relief from the stress of the pandemic? It's been a very stressful year with no end in sight, and that's left many people feeling like they're going to crack. Let me help you deal with the stress, fear, anxiety and weight of the current situation, by offering you some words of comfort and motivation. We've all been in this pandemic together, yet not everyone has dealt with it the same way. The stress you're in right now is real, and there may be simple remedies to the overwhelm that you're feeling. This is a continuation of my new Pep Talks series that I'm delivering to you monthly, that are designed to help you overcome challenges in your path as you create your abundant loving life. Remember, I'm YOUR Balance Lifestyle Coach. I'm in your corner, here for you, supporting you, and holding space for you. You're not alone. Reach out if you need more than just this Pep Talk: matthew@matthewbivens.com
What makes a relationship work? "Common interests" is a typical answer, and for good reason. It makes sense that we need to have things in common with our partners if we want relationship success. But are there certain common interests that rise above others? And are there some common interests that are essential for relationship success? In today's episode I invite my Queen, Sarah Bivens, back on the podcast to talk about how to create real synergy in relationships, and what things you want to be fully aligned on with your partner (and what is okay for you to differ on). This is a great conversation whether you're in a relationship right now or not, because it will get you thinking about the purpose of relationships and what makes a "successful" relationship in your eyes. If you want to get in touch with either Sarah or I you can find us on Instagram @sarahmbivens and @matthew_bivens, and you can always reach me at matthew@matthewbivens.com.
How do you "connect with yourself" and why is it important? I received an email from a listener that asked that very question. This is such an important conversation to have because being able to have and feel a deep, intimate connection with yourself is part of having it all. It's the first step in creating deep, meaningful relationships with others. And it's part of what I believe our search for meaning and purpose entails. So connecting with yourself is more than just a phrase that you might see on blogs or cute trending Instagram posts. In today's episode I discuss what it means to connect with yourself, how you might be fueling disconnection with yourself, and discuss ways that you can explore and find your own connection.
How do you handle the stressors of everyday life? Each one of us encounters stress in life, it's part of the agreement. But not everyone handles it in the same way. The concept of "getting grounded" is something you've probably heard of and perhaps even have a practice in. For me, getting grounded is all about returning to your center when life knocks you off course. As I've taken on more and more responsibilities in life - and as life has whooped my butt again and again - I've developed effective ways to return to my center and get grounded so that I can get back into the game. In today's Monthly Habit Focus episode I'm talking all about Getting Grounded, and I'm helping you learn simple and effective ways to ground yourself when life is coming at you fast and hard. You will learn:
what it actually means to "get grounded"
why it's an essential part of having it all
various methods to ground yourself
my go-to grounding habits when life gets more and more stressful
Need a some motivating words to help you take a leap of faith? Let me give you some encouragement and remind you of what you've forgotten about yourself, as you're feeling scared to take the next step. I've been there before, I know what it's like to be in your shoes right now. And I have a few words for you. This is part of a new series of Pep Talks that I'll be delivering to you monthly to help you overcome challenges in your path as you create your abundant loving life. Remember, I'm YOUR Balance Lifestyle Coach. I'm in your corner, here for you, supporting you, and holding space for you. You're not alone. Reach out if you need more than just this Pep Talk: matthew@matthewbivens.com
What are your core beliefs when it comes to relationships? Your beliefs influence your thoughts and actions, and shape the results that you create. Hold onto a belief that's ineffective and not-so-powerful, and the result may be something that you don't like. In today's episode I'm joined by my Queen, Sarah Bivens, and we're diving into some big relationship myths and misconceptions that we have believed that have lead to unhappiness in our relationships. My intention with this episode is for you to be aware of the impact that your core beliefs have, and to start thinking about the beliefs that are shaping your relationships.
Are you ready to show up with purpose, integrity and intention over the next 12 months? It's time for the annual Having It A.L.L. tradition of creating your Word For The Year! This simple yet effective tool acts like a North Star, helping to guide your intentions, actions and thoughts as you navigate yourself towards an awesome year. We've been doing Word For The Year since the early days of the podcast, refining the process each year. In today's episode I'll be walking you through my process for developing your Word For The Year in 2021. By the end of the episode you'll be fully equipped to create a personally empowering word for this year that will help you light a fire within your soul to make this an absolutely incredible year! Click here to get the free Word For The Year download: https://www.matthewbivens.com/word/
Are you ready to have it all this year? Seriously, are you ready to start believing in your greatness and proactively shaping the life you desire for yourself? Well if so, I'm here as your coach, guide, and supporter this year (and beyond). We have a whole new slate of amazing content coming at you in 2021, all designed to help you ACTIVATE the Having It A.L.L. mindset in your life. In today's episode I'm breaking down what you can expect from this program over the next 12 months, and I kickoff our brand new series where we focus on a new lifestyle habit each month that will help you live your Abundant Loving Life. Let's do this!
Do you ever get down on yourself when someone else's self help advice just doesn't work for you? I've read, listened to and watched thousands of pieces of self help content over the years, and for a long time I thought that there was something wrong with me when I failed to incorporate someone else's advice into my life. I would blame a lack of discipline, focus, grit, or consistency as the reasons why I never made it past day two on someone else's stellar self help routine. That was until I realized an important truth! In today's episode I'm giving you one huge piece of advice as you prepare to jump into 2021 that will help you to have a more joyful and successful year. Here's the article that I reference in the episode: Why Are Self-Help Books Not So Helpful After All?
Have you heard of the concept of a "sponsoring thought"? Whether or not you're aware of it, sponsoring thoughts are driving the way in which your life is playing out. In today's episode I'm breaking down the concept of a sponsoring thought, showing you the essence of what all of life's choices really boil down to, and helping you get down to the weeds of what might be keeping from your abundant loving life. And as always, I'm sharing my examples of how I'm flowing with the idea of sponsoring thoughts, and how I'm utilizing the tools at my disposal to have it all (and in the process giving you permission to do the same, in your own way). Resources: I highly recommend checking out the book Conversations With God by Neale Donald Walsch if today's conversation resonates with you.
Why does it feel so hard at times to not take things personally? We hear the phrase "don't take this personally" all the time. You've probably said it to someone before making some potentially hurtful or offensive statement. It's such an easy idea, but boy can it be tough! For me, I used to take things very personally. Growing up, my emotions would be triggered by the slightest look or question that I felt was off or directed at me in a malicious way. I made villains out of a lot of people, I felt small and hurt often, and I just plain took things personally really frequently. But I had my breakthrough moment! Yes, I was able to connect with some deep truths about myself and others that have helped me learn to not take things personally. And today I'm going to share those truths with you so that you too can break free from the trap of taking things personally in life.
Are you feeling like life has you struggling in all sorts of ways, and you just need to get back to some self-care basics? 2020 has been a year where a lot of things have been upended, including self-care habits. If you've been feeling stressed, overwhelmed or imbalanced throughout the year, and your self-care routine has taken a back seat to life's never-ending demands, then tune in because I have a simple approach for you. In today's episode I'm breaking down "bare-bones self-care" habits that can quickly and easily be incorporated into even the busiest schedule. I'm not here to remind you of the importance of taking care of yourself. Rather, today I simply want to help you get to just bare-bones. If you don't have any other self-care routine, then this is one to adopt. These habits are super simple, some take seconds to perform and can be done virtually anywhere. But adding them into your life can be a game changer. So get ready to take a baby step towards your health!
How do you process the periods in life of prolonged sadness or overwhelm? We've all experienced sadness and periods where we felt like life was overwhelming. This year alone has been a major source of stressful circumstances that have brought on the sadness and overwhelm BIG TIME! But do you have to simply suffer through these periods, or can you learn methods of coping and dealing with your feelings that create an entirely different (and more favorable) experience? Well, you already know my answer to that question, and in today's episode I'm sharing with you my strategies for dealing with sadness and overwhelm in a healthy way that allows you to honor the feelings while creating momentum to rise above them. Tune in and you'll walk away with habits, mindsets and strategies to more powerfully deal with the circumstances that life is throwing at you right now. Want to get in touch with me? You can email me at matthew@matthewbivens.com or DM me on Instagram @matthew_bivens
When was the last time you intentionally stopped and expressed some gratitude? You've probably heard all throughout your life of the importance of "gratitude". In personal development circles it's touted as a powerful tool for happiness and success. As kids many of us are reminded constantly about the importance of being grateful. But is it a part of your everyday routing and a strong tool in your toolbox? Do you even believe in the power of gratitude? In this episode I'm talking all about Gratitude. I'm giving you 7 things you probably haven't heard before about gratitude. We're talking about gratitude in your personal finances, tools for helping you form a gratitude habit, how gratitude can improve your relationships, the power of gratitude to totally flip your mood, how we feel more gratitude for experiences rather than things, and why gratitude in conflict is more powerful than forgiveness or acceptance. If you have some tips, thoughts or stories on gratitude, I'd love to hear them. Reach me on my personal email address at matthew@matthewbivens.com or on Instagram @matthtew_bivens.
What patterns of unhealthy behavior did you pick up from others (perhaps the environment you grew up in), that you're continuing to do yourself? In today's episode I'm introducing an idea and exercise to help you break the cycle of unhealthy ways of thinking, acting and being. It's called "the buck stops here!". The phrase comes from US President Harry Truman, who used the phrase to communicate to others that he was taking responsibility for decisions that he made, accepting all the consequences of his decisions. For this conversation, I'm asking you to think about those unhealthy or disempowering habits and tendencies you have, and to make a commitment to stop the spread down to future generations.
What does it really mean to treat your partner like a King or Queen? As Sarah and I have grown in our marriage, the concept of treating one another as a King and Queen has grown as well. At first the idea brought up our own issues with self worth, love and relationship roles. But today, we both powerfully fill our roles of King and Queen respectively, and we make it priority to not only treat one another with the utmost love and respect, but the do the same for ourselves as well. In today's episode I'm joined by my Queen, Sarah Bivens, and we dig into the topic of "how to treat your partner like a King or Queen". This is a powerful conversation for anyone who has struggled with feeling like they deserve to be treated with kindness and respect, or anyone who feels their current relationship dynamic has room for growth. For questions, comments and feedback on this episode, email me directly at matthew@matthewbivens.com or DM me on Instagram @matthew_bivens
In your relationships would you say you lean more on the side of Courage or Consideration? We each fall somewhere in the spectrum of Courage vs Consideration. When there's an imbalance, relationships suffer and life gets challenging. In today's episode I'm teaching you how courage and consideration come together to create mature, synergistic relationships, and I'm giving you the tools to evaluate for yourself whether you need to amp up the courage or the consideration in your life. Don't forget! Get yourself a copy of 7 Habits Of Highly Successful People by Stephen Covey. And if you have any questions, comments or feedback for me, email me at matthew@matthewbivens.com or DM me on Instagram @matthew_bivens
How do you feel about challenges in your life? Challenge is a part of life. My belief is that challenge is a necessary ingredient to growth. It helps us step up to and through our comfort zones. It helps us come to know ourselves on a deeper level. Challenge is what makes you dig deep into parts of yourself you may not have known were there. But we don't always relate to challenges in that way. For today's episode I'm sharing with you a post I first saw on Instagram about challenges, and giving you some food for thought around how you may be approaching those uncomfortable moments in your life. Your abundant loving life may be on the other side of your comfort zone, and my intention for you is that you see your own areas of opportunity, and boldly step into them. Want to get in touch? Email me at matthew at matthewbivens dot com, or message me on Instagram at matthew_bivens
Are you doing what you love in life? Many times a question like this make us think about turning our passions into a career. Pro athletes come to mind, the men and women who have taken a love for a childhood game and turned it into a lucrative career. But that’s not the only way to do what you love and live a life with passion. You can 100% live with passion, joy and excitement, EVERYDAY, without changing careers or completely shifting your life around (you can of course do that too if you want). In this episode I’m sharing with you questions to ask yourself that can help you identify your passions and build a life where you’re practicing and living them regularly. Living life with passion is a key ingredient of “having it all”, and today’s conversation will help you get there! Check out the Running With Dave podcast here: https://runningwithdave.buzzsprout.com/ Interested in learning more about the Having It A.L.L. Blueprint or 1-on-1 coaching? Drop me a note and let me know how I can serve you: https://www.matthewbivens.com/contact/
Are you aware of the most important piece of equipment for working out? It's your BRAIN! Your mental chatter and internal conversation will either elevate your workouts, or can take you out. And right now (especially if this is something you haven't been paying attention to) it's probably doing more of the latter. I've been an athlete my entire life, and over the past 4 years I've trained hundreds of people in health & fitness. During that time I've learned and spotted patterns of effectiveness when it comes to exercising and working out. In today's episode I'm sharing with you 6 of my top mental tricks that will help you power through your workouts, and can even help you turn your exercises into a fun and enjoyable experience!
How do you let go when you’re feeling very attached? How do you gain closure when you felt like you’ve been wronged? Those are some million dollar questions right there! Figure that out, and you might just be able to life a happy, drama free life for the rest of your years! But that's the thing about letting go and closure - they are simple in concepts, but very hard to accomplish in reality. In today's episode I'm going to take on both of these big ideas, and I'm going to help you navigate your way to letting go and gaining closure. I share a personal account from my life where letting go has been a challenge, and I give feedback on a listener email all about getting closure after years of unrest. My goal for this episode is that you walk away with not only tips on how you can let go and gain closure, but examples of what it looks like in real life that you can use as a model and inspiration. If you're looking for help letting go and gaining closure in your life, I can help you. Email me at matthew@matthewbivens.com to learn more.
When was the last time you wanted something so strongly, but it just wasn't happening and you had no answers as to why? Each one of us knows what it's like to experience the vast range of emotions that come with having unmet desires. For Sarah and I, it's no different. In this episode we’re sharing in the spirit of vulnerability and transparency - we’ve been “open to conceive” for 6+ months now. At the time of publishing this episode we are not yet pregnant. The process over these past 6+ months has been incredibly emotional for both of us, with ups & downs of all types. We decided to get on the mic and record our raw feelings about where we're at. No fluff. No filter. Just our honest emotions. We wanted to do this while we were in it, rather than after we get to the other side (whatever that may look like), because we feel there's something important about visceral, "this is happening right now", sort of sharing. Both Sarah and I feel this is important to share this conversation with you all. In the spirit of vulnerability and transparency. We thank you so much for allowing me to share this with you, and I appreciate you listening.
How do you deal with stress? For many people, one big goal in life is to reduce the amount of things that stress them out. Getting the "stress inbox" to zero is a noble feat, but one that I believe is completely missing the point! The goal should not be to eliminate stress -- because guess what, that's never going to happen! Life is stressful and that's just a fact. Instead, the goal should be to work on your RELATIONSHIP to the stress, ie how do you FEEL about the stress and what decisions do you make in the face of that stress. These are things that can be learned, but first you must un-learn your conditioned response to stress, trigger, anxieties, worries, etc. In today's episode I'm recommending that you stop running from stress and quit trying to get your stressors down to zero, and instead you focus on mastering your SELF in relation to the stress. Can you sit in an incredibly stressful situation, and be cool, calm and peaceful? The answer is YES, but are you able to do it right now? As we continue our series on "back to basics" it's important to understand how we deal with stress, because you might just be feeling like you would "have it all" if only there was less stress in your life....
How do you feel about affirmations: Do you do them? Do you feel they can be effective? Do you believe they are bogus? Affirmations can be a tool to help you on your growth journey. But a tool is only as effective as the user's knowledge and wisdom. In this episode I'm talking about affirmations and positive self talk, and giving you my perspective as a self-diagnosed pragmatist. I've tried my hand at affirmations many times, and have had mixed feelings and experiences. I do believe in the power of planting new thought seeds, however, and so I've stuck with affirmations and found methods for making them "work" to create the experience in life I'm seeking. In this episode I share my method for making affirmations and positive self talk work for you. Notes: Louise Hay Affirmation Calendar
Do you feel like the only way to get what you want in life is by doing MORE? I held this belief for a LONG time, and the result was that I absolutely got more….more stress, more worry, more tension in my shoulders, more anxiety looking at my bank account, more feelings that I wasn’t doing enough, more frustration, more fights with my partner. In today’s episode I am giving you permission to do LESS, and I’m telling you exactly why doing less is actually the key to more peace, presence and joy in your life. Want to get in touch? If you have some episode topic suggestions, feedback about the podcast, you want to share something from your life or just ask me a general question, best way to do it is by emailing me at matthew@matthewbivens.com or by DMing me on Instagram @matthew_bivens.
What is the difference between sex and intimacy? How does this play out in your relationship and how you feel about your own sex and intimacy both before and after kids? In today's episode I'm bringing you a raw and honest conversation that Sarah and I had about sex and intimacy. Sex is on all of our minds, but how often are you able to listen in to an empowering, healthy and mature discussion on the topic? This conversation took a lot of turns that we didn’t expect, and we share a lot of our own personal experiences in healing our relationship to ourselves as individuals and then as a couple. Our desire is that someone listening can take something from our examples and use it to create magical and pleasurable experiences that they are so worthy of!
Where are you lacking in patience right now? In what area of your life would your experience be greatly improved if you could just be patient? For me, it's a lot of things! In the past I did not consider myself a very patient person. When things weren't happening on my timeline, I would brood over it constantly. Internally I would complain, feel like a victim to time, and just not handle it well. That's changed today, as I now consider myself a very patient person (I think fatherhood has honed that for me). Yet, there are still things that come up where I find myself fighting against divine time and my ego. In today's conversation I'm sharing with you a concept "infinite patience yields immediate results" and I'm passing along some stories to help you connect with your most patient self. It's in there, trust me! And when you connect with your infinite patience, you'll feel like you have it all. Links from the episode:
DrBeth's website
Get in touch on my Instagram page
Does your ego run the show? If you answered anything other than "Yes, at times", then today's episode for you! In our conversation today I'm digging into humility and talking about why a healthy practice of humbling yourself regularly is a necessary ingredient to any significant change or growth you're seeking. The more you think you don't need this conversation, the more you want to open your ears (close your mouth) and just receive the message. All of the things you're playing for in life might just rest in you cultivating humility and keeping your ego in check.
Have you ever found yourself up late at night, scrolling through social media, feeling worse and worse with every thumb flick, but unable to break away? That my friend is known as "doomscrolling" and it's robbing you of your happiness, peace and mental health. Doomscrolling is when you find yourself deep into an internet or social media hole, looking at posts and stories that leave you feeling anxious, depressed, hopeless, angry, disheartened, but you just cannot seem to break away. Doomscrolling has been going up since the pandemic and racial tensions of 2020, and as a result mental health and emotional health has taken a huge hit. In today's episode I talk about Doomscrolling, break down why we do it, and give you some expert advice on how you can break the cycle and reclaim your health! Struggling with Doomscrolling? I can help you. Email me at matthew@matthewbivens.com or DM me on Instagram @matthew_bivens. My programs are designed to help you break bad habits, form new healthy ones, and reclaim your happiness!
How self aware are you? That's a loaded question, huh! Abraham Maslow once said "what is necessary to change a person is to change his awareness of himself". I believe that self awareness is a foundational skill that can unlock your abundant loving life, and without it you're destined to stay frustrated, scared, anxious and stuck. I certainly don't want that for you! In today's episode I'm sharing with you 4 real examples from my life where I've succeeded and struggled with self awareness. These simple examples will help you see how I'm actively working on being more self aware each day, and you'll learn tips for improving your self awareness as well. Do you want to take it to the next level? Get in touch with me if you're tired of letting your inner critic run the show. If you don't want to constantly compare yourself to others, if you don't want to feel anxious all the time, if you want to feel unstuck and get your life moving in the right direction, I can help. I've walked many people through this process and I can help you as well. Email me at matthew@mathtew.bivens.com or DM me on Instagram @matthew_bivens.
How is the state of your relationship? How about your partnership? I never used to look at the two as separate. The "relationship" included everything -- the romance, the intimacy, the day-to-day life dynamics, the household management. But for me, as my primary relationship has matured and as new things like marriage and kids have entered the picture, I now see that there's a distinction between the relationship (influenced more by the heart) and the partnership (influenced more by the mind). In today's special episode I invite my amazing wife Sarah in on this conversation, and together we talk about the difference between relationship and partnership, how ours has evolved over the years, and how we navigate breakdowns in each area. If you want to reach out, share your thoughts, offer episode suggestions, or anything else, you can reach me at matthew@matthewbivens.com or on Instagram @matthew_bivens.
What does surrender mean to you, and how practiced are you at it? I took my GameDay recently and was offered up a supreme opportunity for some surrender! (If you're not sure what a GameDay is, I explain it in the episode) The ability for me to surrender is at the center of my self mastery journey. It finds it's way into my relationships, my health, my fitness, my self talk, the visions for my life, and everything else. I've spent years working on my ability to surrender. I've gone from being very concerned, attached, closed off and rigid, to much more surrendered, loving, open and flow. I love the growth I've made, and I'm constantly humbled by the fact that there is no destination. this never stops. I will always be presented with opportunities to surrender. It's humbling, and frustrating at times as well!!! In today's episode I'm giving you a real peek behind the curtains at how I'm working on surrender, humility and self mastery, and how all three showed up in my GameDay. I bring you into my thought process, emotions, relating and ultimately responses to this huge opportunity that I created for surrender.
Do you know what it means to be intentional with sexual intimacy? Intention means something done for a purpose. Sexual intimacy is a deep, pure connection with yourself and/or another person, where sexual energy is exchanged. Put them together and what you have is a recipe for massive healing, growth and personal transformation. So, how intentional are you with sex? Sex is a thing that requires zero maturity or acquired knowledge to participate in, yet can be extraordinary risk from both a physical and emotional standpoint. In today's episode I'm talking about the practice of setting intentions for your sexual intimacy, and how it can transform not only your experience of the sex you're about to engage in, but also what happens after the sex is complete.
Have you given yourself permission to slack on your exercise and overall physical health? I get it, we're in the middle of a global circumstance that can be used as a great excuse to not exercise and neglect your health. But the ripple effects of doing so are far reaching, and you may be underestimating how detrimental it can be for your overall health & wellbeing if you've been putting physical exercise on the back-burner. In today's conversation I'm illuminating the 5 key areas of your health - physical, emotional, mental, spiritual and social - and I'm showing you how they are all connected. Now is not the time to take your foot off the health gas. Especially if you're afraid for your physical health, now is the time to do MORE exercising, MORE clean eating and MORE healthy social connecting. Links from today's episode:
Follow Dasha Shaw aka "The Hair Doula" on Instagram @thehairdoula
Grab a copy of The Legend Of The Curl Girl on Amazon
Would you describe your life as "fun"? Fun is one of those things that many people have given up on. As kids, fun came naturally - you didn't need to be taught how to have fun, how to play, how to create joy in the mundane. But as you got older and took on the responsibilities of adult life, fun may have fallen lower and lower on your list of priorities. In my opinion, FUN is a vital element of having it all. It's the final F in our 6 F's Framework (Faith, Family, Friends, Fitness, Finance and Fun) Fun gives life meaning and flavor and has us returning for more. But if fun doesn't come naturally to you, OR if you've decided that fun is not necessary, then it may feel very distant and unfamiliar. In today's episode I'm discussing the importance of intentionally injecting FUN into your life, and I'm giving you some simple tips on how you can have more fun each and everyday.
Are you a multitasker? We all like to think that we're pretty efficient at doing multiple things at a time. We switch between different work tasks at once, we try and clean the house while disciplining the kids and ordering food over the phone, we put on our clothes while checking Instagram and talking with our partner. All in an attempt to be more productive, have more time, and feel more effective. But I'm about to burst your pretty little multitasking bubble! Multitasking is a lie and a trap!! It's not really a thing and falling into the trap robs you of the very experience you want to have: a sense of peace, more time, feelings of effectiveness and productivity. We fall into the trap because our society rewards "doingness". The busier you are, the more valued you are. So we try and stuff more and more into our 24 hour days. That leads to multitasking, which leads to feeling overwhelmed, stressed out, anxious, hurried, impatient and frustrated. I'm guilt of this as well (which is why I recorded this podcast 😉 In today's episode I expose the trap of multitasking, and show you the magic of doing one thing at a time.
What is "conscience" and how can you use yours to help you find your way through life? As you're trying to navigate through life - figure out who you are, what you're passionate about, how to create some balance - you need tools to help you navigate. Chances are, you have navigational equipment that you're not using, one of those tools is your CONSCIENCE. We all have it, the little voice that tells us whether something will serve us or not. I like to look at my conscience as a compass -- it tells me if I'm moving North, South, East or West. And I use that compass to navigate through life. In today's episode I talk about how your conscience compass works, how you can learn to trust it more, and how to use it to navigate your life more effectively. More for you: If you're interested about my working on your Conscience Compass, check out my newest programs: Habits Power Up! and the Life Navigator. Email me at matthew@matthewbivens.com or DM me on Instagram @matthew_bivens to learn more.
Are you fully aware of the impact the people you hang around, the environments you put yourself in, and the content you consume is having on you? In sports there's this concept of "protecting your house", which is all about not letting the opponent through your defenses. In life, we must protect our health, psyche, spirit, joy, peace. Because outside factors are constantly bombarding us, trying to pull our energy down and keep us there. In today's Having It A.L.L. Moment you will why protecting your house is a vital piece of having it all, and you'll learn how you can start doing it today.
How are you weathering the storms that you're in right now? Life will drop circumstances in your lap, you can count on it. What's not always a sure thing is handling those storms with peace and confidence. One of my goto tools for weathering the storms of life has been meditation. And over the years I've found that I turn to different types of meditations depending on what I'm going through. In today's episode I'm sharing with you the three types of meditation I use to help me cope with life's challenges. By the end of the episode you'll be more equipped to create some inner peace in the midst of outer turmoil. Links to my current favorite meditations:
5 minute morning meditation - https://youtu.be/taxs_vhlxgs
15 minute morning meditation - https://youtu.be/LpAzmyrUswg
Sleepcast from Headspace - https://youtu.be/9OHvPNatlBc
Headspace app - https://www.headspace.com/
When your intuition/gut/instincts speak to you, how do you respond? In today's Having It A.L.L. Moment I share the importance of paying attention to your intuition and I give you a simple way to learn how to trust your instincts more that will have you going from skeptical to faithful.
How clear are you on your personal values? And are you allowing your personal values to guide your life? A huge part of living an authentic life is operating in accordance to your personal values. The truth is that you really don't know who you are if you don't know your personal values. Many people have a vague understanding of their personal values, but few are crystal clear AND EVEN FEWER live their life according to those values. On today's episode I'm sharing with you a simple process to re-discovering your personal values, helping you uncover what's most important to you, and teaching you how to live an authentic life through your values. Get your pen and pad ready for this one! And if you're interested in doing a deep dive on your personal values (as well as 4 other necessary components to having it all), then check out the Having It A.L.L. Blueprint course: https://www.matthewbivens.com/blueprint
How do you juggle all the different roles and responsibilities that you have? That question was asked to me recently by a listener and I think it's in such alignment with everything that we talk about on this podcast. A major part of living your abundant loving life is being able to experience peace, joy and flow in the midst of the life you've created. It's not about how many balls you're trying to keep up in the air, it's about how effective you are and how much you're enjoying the experience. In today's episode I share with you the mindsets, tools and personal practices that grant me the ability to peacefully and joyfully juggle many roles and responsibilities, while keeping overwhelm and imbalance at bay.
Is the life you're living one of your own design, or are you trying to follow someone else's blueprint? We spend so much time comparing ourselves to others. Looking at how they do life and believing that their path is the only path. And then when we try to replicate what we see, we find that it doesn’t work and we get frustrated, judge ourselves, and feel stuck. Stop doing that! Just because someone does something one way, doesn’t mean that’s the only way! In today’s Having It A.L.L. Moment I’m giving you permission to put your stank on it and live a life that’s unique to you.
In today's special episode of the podcast, I acknowledge reaching the 300th episode and I talk about some of the highs, lows, and insights that helped us get to this point.
When pain hits you, do you lean into it or run from it? I used to be the person that ran from pain. Any type of pain, from physical to emotional, I wanted nothing to do with it! And it made perfect sense to me: pain did not feel good, and so why would I want to experience something that didn't feel good? Today I have an entirely different perspective towards PAIN. In fact, I embrace and love pain today, and doing so has been a critical step in my personal growth and healing journey. Tune in as I give you a new way to look at PAIN and show you why leaning into pain will free you from your fears. Links: Fight Club Chemical Burn Scene
If you were to assess how your presence impacts the world, would you be the type of person that adds, subtracts, multiplies or divides? That's the topic I'm exploring in today's Having It A.L.L. Moment! Each one of us, at all times, is doing one of those things. But how aware are you of the impact you're having? And is the impact you're having the one that you desire? Today you'll be asked to think about your sign and the impact you're having in the world.
Do you feel you lack consistency in some important areas? One of the biggest challenges that people share with me is their lack of consistency. Sometimes it sounds like "I never follow through", or "I lack dedication", or "I don't have perseverance when times get tough". All of those shortcomings live under the umbrella of consistency, and it's a real challenge that robs the joyful life experience for so many. It did for me for many years. For most of my life I would never consider myself consistent, not in the areas that mattered most anyway. I could always find examples where I started something and stopped, where I wanted to do something and got all excited for a short period of time, then inevitably fell off. It seemed to happen again and again. But there were two moments in my life that taught me some powerful lessons in consistency, that changed everything for me. In today's episode I talk about what I've learned about my own lack of consistency and what those two examples taught me that has transformed me into the consistent, dependable, trust-worthy person I am today.
Do you have a tendency to take things personally? Be honest with yourself. In the book The Four Agreements, author Don Miguel Ruiz has this amazing description of taking things personally, he calls it "eating emotional garbage". "You eat all their emotional garbage, and now it becomes your garbage". In today's Having It A.L.L. Moment I remind you to not take things personally and help create a different context around the garbage others try and feed you.
How are you breathing right now? You take over 20,000 breaths per day, but how many of those are you aware of and present to? Breathing is one of the most powerful habits that is so overlooked and under-appreciated. In today's episode I'm taking it back to basics and am teaching you a very simple breathing technique that you can use to get you back to your center, equalize your mind/body/spirit, and simply ground yourself. Links: Sarah's episode on breathing "Breathe Damnit!"
When did we buy into this idea that we have to be proficient and skilled at all things at all times? I know for me, as I started working on myself more and more, whenever I'd read about some new technique or practice that I could envision myself doing, I would add that to my "Must get great at" list and then I'd be hard on myself for not doing it consistently. Gratitude journaling, meditating, clean eating, you name it -- at some point I held the belief that if I wasn't really good at them all (and consistent 100% of the time) then I was a lazy failure who obviously didn't really love themselves. What is that all about?!? In today's episode I share with you how I kicked that way of thinking, and I give you a different way to approach gaining new life skills.
When was the last time you made a mistake in a relationship? Did you clean it up?? In relationships it's hard to admit when you've did something wrong or made a mistake or just stepped out of line with your character. I've had a tough time in the past admitting to and owning my relationship missteps, and I've had plenty of instances where I powerfully owned them and plenty when I did not. In the instances that I DID clean it up, it always felt so much better afterwards! I felt lighter, felt like I could move forward (move on), felt more excited and energized. Even when the conversation didn't go well. Cleaning it up is important because there's a big impact when something is off in a a relationship that's important to you. Those missteps and tensions weigh heavily on us emotionally, mentally and physically. It's a weight and drain when you have messy relationships. Not just relationships with others, but with your self too. Cleaning it up is a way to acknowledge what you did or where you messed up, own it, do what you need to to make amends, so that you can move on! In today's episode I share examples of how I apply the "clean it up" idea to relationships (both with others and myself), and I show you how you can take full responsibility in relationships so that you can create more powerful connections. Episode link: www.matthewbivens.com/clean-it-up/
Do you approach your life more with a sense of Play or Work? One of these perspectives creates joy and sustainability, the other will wear you out. Which do you think is which? In today's Having It A.L.L. Moment I talk to you about the Play Perspective and invite you to imagine how different areas of your life would look and feel if you approached them from the space of Play.
On a scale of 1-10, how would you rate your ability fall asleep? How about the quality of your sleep? If you're like many folks, sleep does not come easily. The act of getting to sleep can be frustrating and can have you thinking that you need sleeping aids, drugs or a whole host of other things to help you fall asleep and stay asleep. I struggled with sleep for many years, and I turned to a number of things to help me out. But the one thing I didn't try until many years later, was investigating the ways in which I had taught myself to be a poor sleeper. That idea of conditioning myself for bad sleep didn't even cross my mind. In today's episode I'm going to share with you what has helped me become one of those people who falls asleep instantly and wakes up feeling rested and energized! I believe it's totally possible for you to change both your relationship to sleep and the quality of sleep you're getting. Episode link: https://www.matthewbivens.com/get-better-sleep/
Have you seen the film Life Of Pi? If you. haven't, put it on your list because not only is it a film with an incredibly powerful story and the visual chops to go with it, the movie delivers some invaluable lessons about life. I watched the film this week for the first time and was inspired by the themes of faith, surrender, trust, and gratitude that were peppered through the movie. But even more humbling than that was the lesson the main character learns about how God and the Universe answers our requests. In today's Having It A.L.L. Moment I break down a central theme from the movie and relate it to your life in a way that will have you thinking differently about challenges and adversity. If you have thoughts, questions or feedback from this episode, share it with me at matthew@matthewbivens.com or on Instagram @matthew_bivens
When was the last time you were in chronic stress (that’s stress lasting over a long period of time)? You might be in the midst of some chronic stress right now! Work, kids, relationships, and just the responsibilities of daily life put mild stress on your body that persists over a long period of time. When you don’t know how to deal with chronic stress, it always turns into acute stress. There are 2 ways to relate to chronic stress: you can be PRESENT or you can be ABSENT. In today’s episode I’m teaching you how to coach yourself through the chronic stress of life, and I’m sharing with you a very recent example of how I overcame some incredible chronic stress using the very tips from this episode. If you need some help with dealing with the chronic stress in your life, I can help you. Get in touch with me to learn how I can teach you the mindsets, practices and tools that can literally allow you to coach yourself through the ups and downs of life. Email me at matthew@matthewbivens.com.
Are you looking for a quicker path to growth, happiness and success? Sorry to burst your bubble, there is no shortcut to getting what you want! And if you're seeking out a shortcut in the first place, that's a clue as to why you're stuck and not seeing the results you want in your life. Brands and influencers in all industries have done an excellent job in making you believe that a quick path to getting what you want, feeling better about yourself, being happy and prosperous actually exists. They have you thinking that you can swipe a credit card, get some surgery, take some pills, or wish your way to what you want. But the truth is that THERE IS NO QUICK PATH TO GROWTH, HAPPINESS AND SUCCESS! It does not exist. There are no shortcuts, there is no fast track, there is no magical wand you can wave to get to where you want. You cannot fast track the process to growth. The reason why there are no shortcuts is because arriving at the place you desire to arrive in -- whether it's greater health, a better economic situation, a more fulfilling career, deeper relationship -- all of that requires a shift in your character. My goal for this HIA Moment is that you recognize where you're seeking out shortcuts, and you begin to embrace the reality that the process is the process. It takes what it takes in order to get what you want. I want to help you! If you're struggling with achieving your goals of growth, happiness and success because building the habits and character has been hard, then email me. I can help you figure out the path and process, walk it with consistency, learn to find enjoyment in the growth, and build the habits and character needed to achieve your goals. Email me at matthew@matthewbivens.com I'm currently taking on new 1:1 clients and I'd love to help you have it all and create your abundant loving life.
Do you have any hobbies? I'm talking about those things you do during your down time simply because you enjoy doing them. Maybe you're laughing to yourself thinking, "I don't have any leisure time, I'm way too busy" or maybe you have one or two things you enjoy but don't do them frequently enough to consider them hobbies. Well at the end of this episode you're going to feel inspired to intentionally create new hobbies in your life. Hobbies provide so many benefits including stress relief, improving physical health, better performance and creativity at work. Hobbies also help you stay in an abundant mindset, because you don't fully enjoy a hobby unless you have let go of time scarcity. Today you'll learn why hobbies are important, how to change your feelings around being "busy", and what the three different types of hobbies are. If you want to get in touch with me to ask a question, suggest a topic, or just say what's up, you can email me at matthew@matthewbivens.com or DM me on Instagram @matthew_bivens
Have you considered starting a podcast? If yes: Awesome! If no, why the heck not?? This is an amazing time to start a podcast: more and more people are listening each day, the space is not too crowded yet, your voice/story/message need to be heard right now, and you've got the time on your hands😉 So, I totally think you should do it. Seriously! Podcasting has changed my life in ways I could not ever imagine, and I know it can offer so much to you as well. In this robust episode I'm sharing with you tons of information about podcasting, including:
How podcasting has changed my life
Why you should consider starting a podcast right now
Myths that scare people away
How podcasting actually works
My process from turning your idea into a podcast
Mistakes to avoid
Tips from a seasoned podcaster
Let's dive in! If you want to get in touch with me about podcasting or anything else, email me at matthew@matthewbivens.com or DM me on Instagram @matthew_bivens
What kind of conversations and stories are you hearing these days? I've been hearing and seeing such amazing examples of love, humanity, abundance and sharing. It's been so inspiring and it has been so intentional. The reason I'm receiving such empowering vibes, is because my tuner is set to those frequencies. The beliefs and thoughts I'm choosing to hold in my mind support me seeing examples of love and abundance. So again I ask you, what examples are you picking up? Just like a car radio, you can tune your awareness to whatever station you want to pick up. Being aware of the station you're picking up and the impact that station is having on you is so important, if you want to remain in your peace, joy and centeredness throughout the whole situation. In today's episode I help you bring more awareness to the station you're tuned into, and discuss ways to change the station so you can enhance your experience of life.
Are you feeling more stressed out than usual? I get it. The global situation that we all find ourselves in the midst of currently has added a whole new layer of stress, anxiety and fear out into the world. And even the most steadfast self-care junkies aren't immune to feeling the impact of this. If you're having a hard time kicking the fear, stress and anxiety of corona virus and covid-19 talk, then I have something for you. For today's episode I'm bringing you a meditation that was created specifically for coronavirus anxiety. In fact it's called the "Coronavirus Anxiety Meditation" and it comes from Katie Krimitsos of the Women's Meditation Network. I'll let Katie tell you a bit about herself: "I’m a woman who is deeply interested in continually evolving herself, in becoming more mindful, trying to live the most vibrant life I can possibly live. I’m a mom, a wife, a daughter, sister, aunt and friend. I’ve been a podcaster since 2014 and have had the privilege of supporting women in business under my Biz Women Rock banner. I’m an athlete, a vegan, an adventurer, a recovering perfectionist and gladiator. I doubt myself, have struggled with loving my body, have felt the pangs of comparing myself to others, let fear keep me from doing things I really wanted to do and have carried way too many things on my shoulders. I am perfectly imperfect and always searching to understand myself better." I'm excited to bring you something different, all in an effort to help you stay focused on creating your abundant loving life. Please support Katie's podcast by tuning in and subscribing!
Women's Meditation Network Website
Women's Meditation Network Podcast
Coronavirus Anxiety Meditation
Do you have little faith in your ability to achieve your big goals? I used to feel pretty low on myself as it related to setting goals and achieving them. Didn't matter if it was a work goal, fitness goal, money goal or just a life goal -- a part of me seemed to always believe that no matter how much I wanted it, I just wouldn't achieve it. The problem wasn't that I didn't know what I wanted. I had PLENTY of things I desired to accomplish (my Big Hairy Audacious Goal list was massive). I was just ineffective at everything AFTER coming up with the goal. I didn't know how to plan, how to strategize, how to help myself overcome my own obstacles, how to check in with my goals, how to be smart with my goals --- none of that. And so 95% of the time I ended up quitting and feeling crappy about myself. Each failed goal made me feel less and less capable, and that led me to set less and smaller goals. Can you relate? In today's podcast I'm tackling the big hairy beast that is GOAL SETTING and ACHIEVING MORE IN YOUR LIFE, in the hopes of helping to ignite a breakthrough within you. You CAN set goals that are meaningful and will really move the needle for you. You CAN create a plan and follow it. You CAN overcome the inevitable obstacles that you'll run into along the way. And you CAN achieve those things you really desire in life. Ready to make it happen? Let's do this together!
Give me a virtual hand raise if keeping a "normal" schedule has been tough right now! Keep it up if your date nights were one of the first things to go as you shifted to staying at home. At the time of publishing this episode, much of the country is entering week 3 of the stay-at-home experience because of the Covid-19 situation. Schools are closed, businesses are closed, and daily life has been thrown on its head. I'm sure one of the first things to go has been date time, whether that's with your partner, with yourself or with your family. But I know that you know the importance of making that deposit. Carving out time for dating is one of the most powerful deposits you can make into a relationship, and it's even more important now with emotions high and fear prevalent. For today's episode I'm doing something different, and I'm bringing you a great conversation from the Sex, Money & Real Estate podcast hosted by my friends Nancy and Bill Jamison. The Jamison's are a badass pair of business owners, real estate agents, Balance Lifestyle Coaches, and parents. They are an inspirational power couple that have navigated the ups and downs of being married for 20 years in such a real, raw and authentic way. There's no sugar coating it: they've been through it in their relationship. From bankruptcy, to almost divorce, to figuring out how to break out of a codependent relationship and create something that is healthy, loving and intimate. Their podcast Sex, Money & Real Estate contains their insights and advice for creating a relationship, business and life that's sexy, fun, and rewarding. Check them out on Apple, Google or wherever you get your podcasts. From this episode I hope you walk away with a few ideas you can incorporate into your life. Share with me your thoughts and feedback at matthew@matthewbivens.com or on Instagram @matthew_bivens.
Are you having a hard time staying present, optimistic and focused with the corona virus situation that has gripped the world and seems to be never ending? You might be having a really tough time not feeling anxious, worried, scarce and stuck in your head right now. As the news seems to get worse everyday, it's understandable that your perspective and hope for a resolution seems to get more dire each day. This as an opportunity for us all, and even if you're not in that headspace just yet, I want to share with you a question that can help you get back into a more grounded frame of mind where you can have a more empowering influence and impact over your unique situation. The question is: If you were to fast forward to when all of this has blown over, and you reflect on how you showed up during the time of crisis, what will have you feeling inspired by how you chose to show up? Literally, think about when all of this is over and you're reflecting back on how YOU handled it all, what is going to make you say to yourself "Wow, I'm so proud of myself for how I showed up!" For example, with me I will be incredibly inspired if I am MORE giving and loving to others throughout all of this. If I'm reaching out to family, friends, current clients, former clients, people from my past, to genuinely check up on them and see if they need anything. Setting that intention, and following through on it, will have me feeling great about how I chose to rise up in the face of this adversity. Performing the same exercise for yourself can truly help you get out of your head, and get into a plan of action that will restore your power and your ability to positively impact your situation. So answer the question, make a list of everything that comes up for you, keep that list top of mind (print it up or put it on your phone), and each day work towards BECOMING that version of you. As you do that you'll be spending less time focusing on your problems and worries, and more time helping others, creating things, serving, innovating and overall just being in your circle of influence.
Timestamps
Magic (03:05)
Listener love (05:42)
Context around the one question (06:55)
The one question to ask yourself (12:38)
I want to personally help you if you need it (28:53)
Reach out if you're struggling with everything going on Seriously, if you want to jump on a Skype call because you're having a tough time dealing, I'm making myself available to you. If you want some perspective or some advice, reach out. If you want me to cover something specific in an episode that will help you deal with everthign going on, reach out and let me know. Email: matthew@matthewbivens.com Instagram: @matthew_bivens
Are you now being asked to work-from-home and you're a bit nervous you won't be able to do it successfully? Fear not! I've been successfully working from home for 8 years, and I'm here to give you tips, strategies and ideas that will help make this time productive, enjoyable and easy. The myths that working from home are impossible, or that it's a time for relaxing and taking it easy, have created a bit of a bias around the concept of being productive outside of the office. But truthfully, you can get MORE done at home in LESS time than you would in an office, and I'm going to show you how. Timestamps:
Magic (03:42)
Listener Love (10:25)
Working from home episode agenda (12:58)
My story of working from home (16:18)
Tips for successfully working from home (24:01)
What to watch out for when working from home (45:06)
In these interesting times we find ourselves in, are you coming from a place of LOVE or FEAR? What a few weeks it has been! The world is being gripped by a couple of things right now, one of them being a FEAR virus. And the impact is being felt by just about everyone. In this episode I'm taking a moment to talk about how we can all spread some love instead of fear right now, and I'm giving you some tips for how you can get yourself back into a loving and centered place when those around you seem to be caught up in the fear.
Does the idea of taking risks scare the mess out of you? I know it did for me, and for much of my life I was completely risk averse. But thankfully I grew to realize that everything I wanted -- a fulfilling career, a deep and loving relationship, healthy and vitality -- all could be mine if I was willing to take the necessary risks, and I started pushing my comfort zones. And the beautiful thing is that it's a learned behavior, something that ANYONE can improve at. In today's episode I help you become more bold when you're afraid of taking risks, and I break down simple things you can do and think about that will get you moving in the direction of your abundant loving life. Links:
Take A Risk: The Odds Are Better Than You Think - https://www.forbes.com/sites/margiewarrell/2013/06/18/take-a-risk-the-odds-are-better-than-you-think/#715d993345c2
The Incredible Power Of Taking Risks In Life - https://www.thedailypositive.com/taking-risks-in-life/
Afraid Of Risks? How To Be Bolder - https://www.success.com/afraid-of-risks-how-to-be-bolder/
Why Taking Risks Is The Key To Getting What You Want - https://www.girlboss.com/life/how-to-take-more-risks
6 Ways To Be A Successful Risk Take And Take More Chances - https://www.lifehack.org/articles/communication/6-ways-successful-risk-taker-2.html
How To Take Intelligent Risks In The Pursuit Of Your Goals - https://blog.iqmatrix.com/intelligent-risks
Do you feel like you're in a rut in some area of your life? Chances are there is some person somewhere that knows exactly how to get you unstuck. Well, why aren't you asking that person for some help? The time, money and headache that you could save is incredible, but still you'll fight to remain frustrated. In today's Having It A.L.L. Moment I recommend you get over yourself already and ask for some help!
Let's play a game! Imagine I told you I was putting together a book of all the cheat codes to life, and I asked you to contribute: what life cheat codes would you share? Today's episode is cool because I'm sharing with you an interview that I did on another show called Young Legends. In it, host Kaption Red explores the "cheat codes for life" and brings empowering conversations meant to inspire greatness. I had a blast on the show as we explored everything from personal identity and trusting your intuition, to deprogramming unhealthy learned behavior and building healthy habits. I really think you'll like this conversation! Links:
Young Legends Website - https://www.younglegendspodcast.com/
Young Legends on iTunes - https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/young-legends/id1461522242
How do you find and cultivate faith when you haven't felt it before? And what can you do when your partner uses passive aggressive behavior when faced with conflict? These are things that we all face, life situations that feel unclear, frustrating and unenjoyable. I've been there and I've had to navigate my way through them. In today's episode I'm reading a couple of listener emails, and sharing my thoughts. If you have a question you'd like to ask me or a topic you'd like to suggest, you can reach me at matthew@matthewbivens.com or matthew_bivens on Instagram.
How high is your trust in yourself? You may or may not be able to answer that question easily. But I bet you have an answer for this one - how confident are you? The link between confidence and trust is so incredibly strong, yet we don't usually think of those two things as related. Today I'm shining light on why confidence and trust go hand in hand, and I'm giving you a pathway to experience higher levels of both in your life. Links: The TRUST Challenge - https://www.matthewbivens.com/trust/
How would you describe what being an "involved dad" is? I believe being an involved dad is the goal of the vast majority of fathers, yet not all fathers are showing up in that way. There are some basic tenants to being an involved dad (and being a powerful man) that aren't taught in schools. In today's episode I'm exploring what it really means to be an "involved dad" and why that label itself carries with it some controversy. This idea came up in a conversation Sarah and I were having on our other podcast, Doing It At Home, and I was clear that discussing fatherhood and what it looks like to show up powerfully as a dad was something to bring to Having It A.L.L.. Links:
Study Explains What It Means To Be An "Involved Father" - https://citydadsgroup.com/nyc/2010/07/what-does-it-mean-to-be-an-involved-father/
The Involved Dad - https://www.focusonthefamily.com/parenting/the-involved-father/
Say Good Bye To The Involved Dad - https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/parenting/wp/2015/11/11/say-good-bye-to-the-involved-dad/
How often do you really FEEL like doing something hard? Be honest. If you're being real with yourself you probably never really feel like it. Mustering up the desire to do something uncomfortable or frightening can definitely be tough. But I'm here to tell you there's a way to bypass those feelings and get to the results you're truly wanting! Tune in as I share this hack with you and how I use it on a daily basis. Link: Learn more and sign up for the Trust Challenge (starting February 20, 2020) - https://www.matthewbivens.com/trust
How often do you talk yourself out of doing something empowering? Probably more than you're comfortable admitting! Today I'm sharing with you a powerful mental hack that can help you shut out those fear voices and get to doing the things you know you should be doing. It's called the 5 Second Rule, and it's inventor Mel Robbins is a tour de force when it comes to personal change. Links:
Trust Challenge info and sign-up at www.matthewbivens.com/TRUST
Mel Robbin's website - https://melrobbins.com/
Mel Robbin's powerful video called "One Of The Best Talks Ever on Self-Motivation" - https://youtu.be/_BNDdamTDak
So why is change so frustrating? You'd think it wouldn't be so difficult to change something that you REALLY want to change. I know in the past I've been incredibly hard on myself for "not having the willpower" or "not wanting it enough" or "not being disciplined enough", when I failed to make change happen in my life. But what I told you there were crucial pieces of the change equation that you were missing? Ones that illuminate why change is so hard, and how to actually make it work for you. Today's episode was inspired by a conversation I heard on The Life Coach School Podcast -- https://thelifecoachschool.com/podcast/1/
January 2020 is in the can, so how did it go? Did you show up the way you wanted to? Do you feel like you've made some meaningful progress on your goals for the year? If you set new years resolutions, are they still in play? It's time for a check-in on how your year has been so far. If you set concrete goals for the year, or if you simply know you wanted to make 2020 better than 2019, then checking-in periodically needs to be a part of your regular routine. So do it now!
What does it mean to be healthy and fit? How healthy and fit are you right now? I've shared a lot of different tools with you over the course of this podcast, and in today's episode I'm going to go deep into one particular tool/concept that I want you to really understand well, because your health depends on it! I'm talking about your Body Vehicle and the 5 wheels that make up your Body Vehicle: Mental, Spiritual, Social, Emotional and Physical. These 5 areas are what make up our health, and everyone is operating at different levels in each area. You may be operating at different levels in each area depending on what time of day it is! The Body Vehicle is a great framework for looking at your overall health and fitness, but actually putting it to use can be tough if you don't know where to start. Today that ends because I'm going to not only break down all 5 areas, but I'm going to give you very specific habits you can perform and incorporate into your life that will help you heal and grow in each of the 5 areas. By the end of the episode you'll feel so much more equipped to begin addressing the wheels of your Body Vehicle. Plus, I have a special offer if you're ready for the support, guidance and accountability in actually addressing your Body Vehicle so you can experience more health, fitness and balance. Links: Email me to talk about the Balance Chart and creating your personal Body Vehicle tool -- matthew@matthewbivens.com
What problems are you avoiding right now? What challenges are right there in front of you, that you're denying or doing everything in your power to not face? I know what it's like to be so afraid to face my problems and to make every rationalization, justification and excuse as to why facing them is a bad idea. I know what it feels like to constantly choose the victim role to my problems. But I also know what it feels like to ultimately gear up, strap on my boots and march head first into my problems. Today I'm here to prepare you for the inevitability that is you finally facing your problems, challenges and fears. Because yeah, it's going to happen!
Do you have a word for the year yet? If not, what are you waiting for?!? Not to worry, if you still haven't created your word for the year I promise you that you'll want to jump on it after hearing today's episode! We did something totally cool that we haven't done yet on the podcast for this one -- we recorded LIVE in front of an audience. This episode was recorded at the Word For The Year Workshop, part of the Monday Motivational Mindset series, here in Atlanta, Ga. Together we went through the process to creating a word for the year, and what you're going to hear in the episode are attendees of the workshop sharing their word and what it means to them. To get the free Word For The Year Tool (the same one we used in the workshop) just go to www.matthewbivens.com/word
Who are the people in your life that you admire? It's all too common that you see someone that you admire -- whether it's because of something they've accomplished, some measure of success they've reached, how they show up for other people, aspects of their personality -- and you think that you will never be able to be like them. That there's something you lack that they possess, and that the thing you admire in them is not available to you. That's some BS! I'm here to tell you that fundamentally there is NO DIFFERENCE between you and those folks you admire. You can do/be/have what they have done/been/created. It all comes down to CHOICES.
Where does your personal health rank on your list of priorities? Probably not at the top. Well, as you can guess from this title of this episode, I'm making a strong case for why you MUST begin to push your health to the top of your list. And I'm talking right now! Not next month, next quarter, over the summer. NOW! And yes I do mean priority. Your health should be the first thing you're thinking about each day, before your kids your spouse your job your co-wokers, all of that. I'm going to break down why your health needs to be priority, what exactly I mean by "Health", and give you clear steps to start making meaningful strides in your health right now. Links:
Get on the Balance Chart app
Join the Trust Challenge (February 2020 kickoff)
Get in touch with me for individualized coaching
Do you realize just how impactful your words can be? Travis Moawad has an idea. Just check out a thought he shared on the Long Story Short podcast (link below): “When I say it out loud, it’s 10 times more powerful than when I think it. And if it’s negative it could be a multiple of 7 times more powerful than positive.” Today I help you become aware of the power of your self talk. Link: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/trevor-moawad-the-importance-of-mindset/id1111787417?i=10004
What do you REALLY know about the Having It A.L.L. podcast host, Matthew Bivens? No, this isn't an expose episode, but this is a fun conversation where the tables are turned a bit. Join us in the Season 5 opener for Having It A.L.L. as we switch things up, and hopefully you walk away having laughed, connected and learned a thing or two.
Are you ready for season 5 of the Having It A.L.L. Podcast!!? Well ready or not, it's coming! In today's episode I'm sharing with you all the awesome things coming in Season 5 of the podcast. From new topics to all new types of episodes (and more), there's a lot to look forward to! If you have a suggestion for an episode topic you want to share with me, here are a few ways you can get in touch: Website: www.matthewbivens.com/contact Email: matthew@matthewbivens.com Instagram: @matthew_bive
Are you ready for the New Year!? It's the eve of 2020, and for today's episode I wanted to take a few minutes to reflect on the past year and past decade. I share some of the highs (and lows) from the past 10 years, I give you some things to chew on as you reflect on the past year, and I leave you with a few intentions and words to inspire and empower you to 2020 and beyond. I'm so grateful for everything we experienced together in 2019, and am super excited for everything we have come up in 2020!
Is there something new or different you'd like to have in 2020? Maybe it's a more successful career, or a more fulfilling love life, or a greater sense of abundance. In today's episode I talk about the one thing that you need to stop doing in order to have those things you are truly desiring. Links: Mike Robbins "Be Do Have" https://mike-robbins.com/be-do-have/ Unravelling the Be Do Have Paradigm https://directory.libsyn.com/episode/index/id/5446465
Are you prepared for the next 12 months to be your best year yet? I want to equip you with the tools to make next year the best it possibly can be, and in today's episode I will help you do just that! For the past 3 years not I've been using a word for the year to help me accomplish my goals in the new year, and today I'm sharing with you a process for developing your own word for the year. Links: Grab the free Word For The Year Tool - www.matthewbivens.com/word
Have you ever failed at reaching a goal? Or launched a New Years Resolution, only to see it crash days or weeks later? In today's episode I'm unpacking a concept called the "snapback effect", and sharing how it keeps you from reaching your goals and resolutions. Links: "How to get out of your comfort zone and succeed in new territory" -- https://www.entrepreneur.com/article/340874 Abundance Benchmark - https://www.matthewbivens.com/quiz/ Balance Chart - https://www.theydbg.com/
Today's episode is part 2 of my series on the YourDay Balance Game. For the episode today, I'm bringing you a powerful conversation I had with the founder of the YDBG, Day Adeogba. Day is a transformational specialist, the creator of the YourDay Balance Game, the CEO of YourDay Enterprises, the creator of the Balance Chart app, and my coach and mentor for the past 5 years. Links: The Make Everyday YourDay Podcast - https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/make-everyday-yourday/id1386360493
For the past 10 years I've been on a very intentional journey to learn, understand and connect with my inner self more powerfully, for the purpose of healing, growth and transformation. And over that time I've come across a TON of tools and resources that I used along the way. One of them stands out above the rest, and in today's episode I'm sharing with you my #1 tool for radical self growth: the YourDay Balance Game. Links: The YourDay Balance Game Website - https://www.theydbg.com/
Ready for a bit of tough love? I read an article recently which triggered me and I decided to record this episode dedicated to sharing with you the two harsh truths about life which can help you move beyond your blockages and ultimately create the life you want. Links: The article which inspired this episode: https://www.inc.com/scott-mautz/why-you-need-to-accept-harsh-truth-that-nobody-cares-you-need-to-work-harder.html Link to the new HIA Swag Shop: https://www.matthewbivens.com/store/
“You are ready and able to do beautiful things in this world, and as you walk through those doors today, you will only have two choices: love or fear. Choose love, and don’t ever let fear turn you against your playful heart.” - Jim Carrey All choices in life can be boiled down to a choice between LOVE & FEAR. Today I want give you some A.I.M. - Affirmation Inspiration Motivation - to help you choose love. Links: Grab your "Choose Love" shirt in the new HIA Swag Shop -- www.matthewbivens.co
How do you like to be loved? How does your partner prefer to be loved? Are they loving you in the style in which you like to be loved, and vice versa? Today I'm rebroadcasting an episode from the HIA archive where I talk about my favorite tool for creating a powerful relationship - The 5 Love Languages. Links: HIA Swag Shop - https://www.bonfire.com/store/having-it-all-podcast/ The Balance Chart Website - https://www.theydbg.com/ 5 Love Languages - https://www.5lovelanguages.com/5-love-languages/
Breakups are hard. When a significant relationship ends it can send you in a tailspin of emotions that can easily lead to destructive behaviors and thought patterns. But within every breakup are the insights for healing and growth. In this episode I'm sharing healthy ways to deal with a breakup, so that you can emerge stronger, more confident, and more in love with the most important person in your life - You!
Do you struggle with staying consistent? You know the feeling. You start something, feel great for a while, then seemingly inevitably you fall off and quit. At that point the self doubt convos enter, the "I knew you couldn't do it!" self talk enters. All that crap. In today's episode I'm giving you some simple tips for helping you be more consistent in life. Link: Video: "How To Develop Grit So You Can Do The Things You Don't Want To Do" -- https://youtu.be/Ph0BLJPbsD8
Do you have principles? What are they? How do you use them? Are you confident that you know what living a principally based life means? Today I'm shining light on this idea of "principles" that so many self help gurus and successful people tout as the key to living a great life. You will learn the 5 key principles that I choose to live my life by and I show you how you can live by them too.
Do you think vision boards are useless? A lot of people do. And I don't blame them. The idea of making a dream list for your life and watching as it magically appears, does seem pretty unrealistic. But what if you could make the tool work in your life with a few tweaks? In today's episode I share with you my process for creating a vision board that isn't useless, and in fact can be like a wish list for your life. Link: Join me on my Purpose Webinar - https://www.matthewbivens.com/purpose/
What subjects are off limits to you? What things do you avoid in your life like the plague?! Most people have some topics that they refuse to address. These "taboo subjects" are robbing you of your power, your freedom and your life! If you want to truly have it all and live the life you're meant to live, then you MUST start addressing these things in a real way. Today I talk about how to do just that. Links: Work with me 1-on-1 https://www.matthewbivens.com/coaching/
I am concerned for your life. Real talk. If you identify yourself as "busy" and wear your busyness like a badge of honor, then there's a great chance you're putting your health at risk. Today I'm bringing you a conversation with Dr. Garland Vance, who not too long ago was told by his doctor "I am concerned for your life". Garland and I dive into the events that led up to his doctor visit, and the dramatic life changes he made as a result. Link: http://www.gettinunbusybook.com/home-page
Don't know what your purpose is? YOU'RE SCREWED! You know I'm just playing, but that's how so many of us feel when we cannot answer the all important question, "What is your life purpose?" Today's conversation may seem a bit contradictory from what I've been talking about the last two weeks, but trust me that it's all connected! Links: Register for my FREE webinar on finding your life purpose: https://www.matthewbivens.com/purpose/
Are you able to answer the question -- "What would have to happen in order for you to feel fulfilled in your life?" If you're struggling with feeling fulfilled then LISTEN UP! Today I'm sharing with you a very simple method for answering that fulfillment question, so you can both FEEL and BE more fulfilled in your life. Links: My Free Purpose Webinar - http://matthewbivens.com/purpose My Course on Purpose, Fulfillment, and Passion - http://matthewbivens.com/blueprint
What is your life's purpose? There was a time when hearing that question made me feel ashamed (that I didn't have an answer), jealous (of all the other people who were seemingly on their path), and confused (at not having a clue about how to figure it out). But all of that changed in an instant for me, and that's what I'm sharing with you in today's podcast! Links: My free "Find Your Purpose" webinar - https://www.matthewbivens.com/purpose/
How do you define purpose, vision and passion? I've had a love hate relationship to purpose, vision and passion. I love them because they are at the heart of creating a truly fulfilled and magical life, and that's what I'm playing for. But I hate them because when I've felt I've lacked any or all of them, I judged myself so harshly. Today I'm talking about the difference between purpose, vision and passion, how they interact with one another, and why they're key ingredients to having it all.
How can you create more balance in your daily life? Do you have a clear answer to this question based off of personal experience, empirical evidence and thorough research? Probably not, and that's totally cool because I did it for you! I researched the current expert advice on living a life of balance and compiled a list of their top tips. The 10 best tips are in this episode, and the entire list of 25 tips is on my website for free. Links: Get the whole list at www.matthewbivens.com/balancetips
This is not a typical HIA episode. Today I wanted to let you in on a few things that I have been struggling with, which have impacted my life, relationships, business and this podcast.
Do you have a hard time setting and holding boundaries with work? I know the feeling of struggling with holding boundaries. The fear of saying "no", of telling someone you're unavailable, of turning your phone off at night because "what if I miss something important?". In this episode I explore how to create and hold boundaries at work, even if you're starting from the ground floor. Links: https://www.matthewbivens.com/balance-ebook/
What do you do when you're feeling imbalanced, burnt out and overwhelmed? In today's episode I'm sharing with you 3 hidden reasons why you're not feeling balanced in your life, and I give you action items to make a change. Links: Balance System Ebook - http://www.matthewbivens.com/balance-ebook/ Forbes article - https://www.forbes.com/sites/ashleystahl/2018/10/22/the-importance-of-work-life-balance-and-how-to-achieve-it/#4b71c5e94e05
If you looked at your average day, how much of it do you spend in a state of Joy vs Sadness?
My coach and mentor Day Adeogba shared with me a conversation he had with his kids recently, where he asked them "What do you think your Joy-to-Sadness ratio is?" That idea of a Joy-to-Sadness ratio totally fascinated me and inspired this episode!
Tune in to hear about the Joy-to-Sadness ratio, how you can determine your goal ratio and what you can do to experience more joy in life.
How can you improve any relationship in your life?
Today I'm sharing with you an incredibly effective way to improve any relationship in your life, from a marriage to a friendship to your relationship with your boss or neighbor. This episode pulls from many past relationship experiences that have both improved and terminated. The advice today will totally change how you feel about your relationships and who you attract into your life.
Are you aware of the impact of the excuses you make in your life? Your desires, goals, & aspirations all move you in a certain direction in your life. Excuses pull you in the complete opposite direction. This is true for all of us (it's principle, not personal). If you're playing for a life of abundance AND you're prone to making excuses, then buckle up because things are going to be rocky for you. In today's episode I'm sharing with you 5 excuses that are keeping you from the abundance you desire.
What are you grateful for?
Answering this simple question [regularly] can have a tremendous impact on your happiness, relationships, wealth and health.
On today's episode I'm digging into GRATITUDE in all it's awesomeness! You'll hear why sharing gratitude has such a powerful impact, two simple gratitude practices you can incorporate into your life, tips for making it easier to get started and keep going, and how gratitude is connected with abundance.
Do you have the habits of an unsuccessful person?
You are a compilation of your habits. There are powerful habits that will move you towards success, and less than powerful habits that will take you in the opposite direction.
In today's episode I'm sharing 12 habits that unsuccessful people have in common (inspired by an article written by Darius Foroux).
Link: Blueprint- http://matthewbivens.com/blueprint Tools- https://www.matthewbivens.com/tools/ Darius's article- https://dariusforoux.com/
Do you feel like you're just surviving, staying stagnant or settling in life?
LISTEN UP because there's a reason living life that way feels totally awful!
Recently I started reading "You Are A Badass At Making Money" by Jen Sincero, which is full of powerful truth nuggets about authenticity and living a badass life.
Today I tell you exactly why your purpose is to be your most badass self and truly have it all.
My website: https://www.matthewbivens.com/ Jen's website: https://jensincero.com
What if the path to achieving your highest dreams wasn't in the clarity of your vision, but in the standards you hold for yourself?
Todays episode explores the idea that, "We become our lowest standard, not our highest dream."
I unpack this statement and give you action steps for raising your standards so that you can have it all!
*Contact me for individualized help in developing or raising your standards, personal accountability and achieving your goals >> matthew [at] matthewbivens [dot] com.
How do you deal with impatience?
We all know the feeling of being impatient. We live in a culture today where we expect things to happen fast. But patience is one of those important qualities that has a direct impact on how we experience our work, families, health, and life.
Today I answer a listener email about being a more patient person, and I share with you my tricks for becoming more patient in your life.
Links: Having It A.L.L. Blueprint Course - https://matthewbivens.com/blueprint
In today’s episode I’m bringing you a great conversation I had with Adam Roa. What I found awesome about Adam was his humility. I think you'll dig this conversation because we were just two guys choppin it about how we can all love ourselves fully and unlock our superpowers.
Links: You Are Who You’ve Been Looking For poem - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nt5_3cbo31I Adam’s Website - http://www.adamroa.com/ Adam on Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/adam.roa/
How do you currently feel about your ability to juggle multiple priorities and competing responsibilities?
It's incredibly easy to feel imbalanced when you feel you have many priorities all of equal importance. That's a recipe for feeling overwhelmed, stressed out and unfulfilled.
In today's episode I share with you a simple process for learning how to prioritize your life and create balance amidst all of the things you've got going on.
Links: HIA Blueprint - http://matthewbivens.com/blueprint
What do you do when you find yourself totally out of balance and feeling the stress?
Well, after you listen to today's podcast you can add the STOP Method to your toolbox!
In today's episode I break down the STOP Method for de-stressing and reclaiming balance.
Are you feeling like this idea of work/life balance is a pipe dream that you're just never going to achieve?
In today's episode I'm covering 6 of the most common mistakes people make when trying to achieve work-life balance. One of the most frustrating things is feeling like you're always out of balance, and I don't want that for you.
I'll be doing a whole series on balance over the coming weeks, so get ready to get back into alignment in your life!
How comfortable are you with speaking highly about yourself?
For many people, talking highly about themselves (or even speaking kindly about themselves), is an incredibly challenging thing.
In this episode I'm here to tell you that there's 100% absolutely nothing wrong with speaking highly of yourself! I talk about why it's important that we be our biggest hype man/woman. And at the end I do something bold that gives you permission to shout from the rooftops how incredible you are!
Who do you have in your corner helping you create your best life?
It's a fallacy that we do anything in life alone. All of the greatest achievements -- personal, group, business, etc. -- happened with a team. The same is true for creating your dream life. When you have a team of amazing people around you, you can create and experience your dream life.
But how do you go about assembling your Empowerment Team?
In today's episode I tell you how you can assemble your own squad of life superheroes!
How do you get yourself out of a funk?
In today's episode I'm giving you a very simple and very effective method for getting yourself out of a funk, that you can do anywhere at any time.
Are you ready for a raw and honest conversation about sexual confidence? Today I'm talking about sexual confidence and male performance anxiety: what it looks like, how it happens, how we feed it, and how we heal it. This episode was inspired by an article in Mens Health by Jason Rogers. In the powerful article, Jason opens up about his challenges with performance anxiety and how it impacted him in the bedroom and on the Olympic stage. Orgasmic Mama: https://www.sarahbivens.com/om
Are you feeling the pains of being a Type A personality? Do you feel like you're great at go, go, go but don't know how to take a break? Are you wondering how to create a business plan to launch your new venture? Or maybe you're in a business currently and want to take it to the next level through content like blogs, podcasts and vlogs?
These are the questions I answer in today's episode of the podcast!
What games are you playing in life?
Depending on your context around the word "game" you might answer this question in many ways. My response is MANY, because I believe we're all playing many games in our lives.....and we're all WINNING at the games we're playing!
In today's bonus episode I'm sharing with you a not-so-secret (yet still super effective) strategy that top performers in all fields use to win at the games they're playing
Do you have toxic people in your life? How about in your inner circle? Are there folks in your life who are constantly bringing negativity and noise into your world? And what are the things you should be reviewing and thinking about when preparing for marriage?
These are the questions I answer in today's episode of the podcast! The topics today were suggested by YOU and all have to do with OTHERS. Last week I focused on SELF, and today we're focusing on OTHERS (next week is LIFE).
What does it mean to be your authentic self? How do you tackle moving through your biggest fears? What does the phrase "having it all" mean to you personally?
Today's episode is a cool one, because I'm answering your questions about authenticity, fear and having it all!
Over the next few episodes I'll be addressing questions and topics inspired directly from you, covering the areas of Self, Others and Life.
You can learn more about the Blueprint at http://matthewbivens.com/blueprint
Are you familiar with the mind-body connection?
It's truly fascinating! Your mind and body are connected, and the former has a huge influence on the health and wellbeing of the latter.
In today's episode I talk about the mind-body connection, particularly as it relates to the labels we wear on about ourselves.
Chopra Center Article Link: https://chopra.com/articles/mind-body-connection-understanding-the-psycho-emotional-roots-of-disease
When was the last time you were triggered by someone or something, and felt really uncomfortable?
I had 2 conversations in the past few days that brought up some discomfort in me. One had to do with my money and the other had to do with my weight. It got me thinking - what has made you feel uncomfortable recently and are you willing to do something about it?
Today I'm sharing the scenarios where I was triggered and I'm issuing a challenge if you're bold enough to do something about your discomfort.
What are you doing that's keeping you stuck, playing small, in your denial or fearful?
Yes, every "mistake" can be seen as a lesson which can lead to learning and growth, however if you're unaware of things you're doing which are keeping you in denial or feeding your ego, then the ultimate growth or healing you say you're playing for will not arise.
In this episode I'm sharing 7 mistakes that I've made and that I've seen others make as they work to heal, grow, and improve themselves.
How do you feel about your partner watching pornography?
It's a topic that I wouldn't be surprised comes up in most relationships in some way. I know it certainly has in mine.
On today's episode, Sarah joins me to answer a listener email about porn in relationships. This one gets real.
It's also important I say that neither Sarah nor I are therapists, counselors or doctors, and that we're speaking on this subject purely from out own experiences. Listen for entertainment purposes only.
How big is your money game?
That's the question at the heart of today's episode. You see, there are many beliefs out there around money and personal self worth that impact your financial reality.
Money is a topic that can be so complex because of all of the emotions we wrap up in it. So today's episode is sure to create a bit of friction within you!
Having It A.L.L. Blueprint Online Course -- www.matthewbivens.com/blueprint
Today's mini episode quotes are all about having personal standards in your life, and they come from Mastin Kipp, Joel Brown and Tony Robbins.
Setting and holding personal standards are so important to me in fact, that they make up the final 3 sections of the Having It A.L.L. Blueprint.
To learn more about the course visit www.matthewbivens.com/blueprint
Today's quotes are all about the power of having a personal mission in your life, and come from Zig Ziglar and Victor Frankl.
I'm a HUGE fan of personal mission statements (it's one of my most returned to topics on the podcast), and it's the subject of section 4 of the Having It A.L.L. Blueprint.
To learn more about the course visit www.matthewbivens.com/blueprint
"There is a lie that acts like a virus within the mind of humanity. And that lie is, ‘There’s not enough good to go around. There’s lack and there’s limitation and there’s just not enough.’ The truth is that .... there is enough for everyone."
Today's quote is from Michael Beckwith and is about Abundance.
Abundance Mentality & Environments are the subject of section 3 of the Having It A.L.L. Blueprint.
To learn more about the course visit www.matthewbivens.com/blueprint
Today's mini episode is all about TALENTS. Each of us have them. They're the skills we've learned over time, developed through practice and intention. When we are proactive about using them in our lives, we feel more accomplished and fulfilled.
My course, the Having It A.L.L. Blueprint, launched this week, and to celebrate the launch I'll be bringing you mini quote episodes throughout the rest of this week. To learn more about the course visit www.matthewbivens.com/blueprint
"When your values are clear to you, making decisions becomes easier".
That quote is from Roy E. Disney, and is the topic for today's special mini episode.
My course, the Having It A.L.L. Blueprint, launched this week, and to celebrate the launch I'll be bringing you mini quote episodes throughout the rest of this week.
To learn more about the course visit www.matthewbivens.com/blueprint
Are you avoiding breakdowns in your life?
You might be saying "Of course I do, why wouldn't I?"
Well, buckle up because in today's episode I'm letting you know that if you're living a life of avoiding breakdowns (not being your authentic self, not speaking your truth, not sharing boldly, not asking for what you want, not stepping into the ring), then you cannot expect to experience massive breakthroughs that lead to transformations. They just won't happen.
What is your personal mission in life? Why do you get out of bed and do what you do each day?
I talk a lot about personal mission statements in this podcast. I believe in the power of a personal mission statement. I've seen how having one for the past 6 years has shaped my life, and I've witnessed the power they unlock within my clients.
On today's episode I'm rebroadcasting an awesome conversation I had with Sarah all about the power of personal mission statements to create your best life.
What are the beliefs, stories, experiences that you've pushed down so deep into your soul, that the thought of bringing them into the light is terrifying?
That's what we're talking about in today's episode!
If you're listening to this show it's because you desire to have it all and you're hoping to get some ideas, motivation, tools, belief systems to help you achieve that.
My message today is simple: You will not have it all because you're unwilling to do this one simple thing.
How intentional are you with sex? Sex is a thing that requires zero maturity or acquired knowledge to participate in, yet can be extraordinary risk from both a physical and emotional standpoint. So today I'm talking about the practice of setting intention for your sexual intimacy, and how it can transform not only your experience of the sex you're about to engage in, but also what happens after the sex is complete.
What beliefs are you currently holding that is robbing you of your health, happiness, and power?
Today I'm talking about the power (and consequences) of your beliefs. Your internal conversations and the beliefs associated with them are something you rep more than any workout. So what beliefs have you been strengthening?
Links: http://www.matthewbivens.com/trust/ https://www.instagram.com/p/BsnwZP0l1ng/
How do you define purpose, vision and passion?
I've had a love hate relationship to the ideas of purpose, vision and passion. At times I've been fired up to connect with my purpose, create my vision, and feel my passion. And at other times I've compared myself to others I thought had them, and judged myself for not.
In today's episode I'm talking about the difference between purpose, vision and passion, how they interact with one another, and why they're key ingredients to having it all.
Are you pursuing money believing that when you get it your life will finally be better?
Today I'm going to shatter a few cases of denial, by letting you know that if you're chasing profits without purpose then you will NEVER have it all.
Why? Because having it all is so much bigger than the next $10,000 in income, or the next business deal (or the next romantic relationship).
Yet, it's very easy to convince ourselves that "I'll be happy when ___".
So tune in because it's about to get real!
How attached are you to the way you feel your life should look like? If you're frustrated with the way things are right now... If you're annoyed because something in your life is not going according to your plan... If you're experiencing anxiety because the goals you set are not being met in the timeframe you wanted them to... Then we are in the same place, and this episode is for you.
Do you know where your money is going?
Knowing where your money is going each month (aka budgeting) is one of those habits that is incredibly challenging for a lot of us to build and maintain.
But part of having it all means that we have a handle on our finances, and so in this episode I'm taking you through some basics of budgeting and sharing with you a few tools and methods I use in my household to stay on top of my money.
What is your word for this year? You may be used to creating new years resolutions or setting yearly goals. But I have something even more simple and effective - coming up with a single word that embodies the life you wish to live, the person you wish to become and the results you wish to create in the coming year. In this episode I share with you a simple process for coming up with your word for the year. Download the free "Word For The Year" tool -- http://matthewbivens.com/tools
Have you started planning your goals and resolutions for 2019?
There's one thing you want to make sure you do before you write your goals in stone, and that's take a deep look at how you showed up in 2018.
In today's episode I'm walking you through a self assessment process (the same one I use with all of my coaching clients) that will help you chart the course for where you want to be in 2019.
Get your free self assessment tool here: http://www.matthewbivens.com/tools/
Did you know that magic and gratitude were major factors in "having it all" to me?
That's sort of a trick question, because if you've listened to the show before you know that they are DEFINITELY ingredients to the having it all formula.
In today's episode I'm using this Christmas holiday to share magic and express gratitude to the seldomly celebrated people who make the holidays possible and magical.
Are you feeling stuck in life right now?
Feeling stuck is something that we all can relate to, because at one point or another we've been there. It's not a fun feeling, and normally it turns into self criticism and judgements that we're not doing/being enough (smart enough, hard working enough, creative enough, opportunistic enough).
For today's episode I was inspired by a message I heard from Mel Robbins where she changes the context around feeling stuck in life.
What regrets do you have in life?
In today's episode I'm sharing an essay written by Bronnie Ware - a nurse who took care of patients in their final days of life. Over the years of her work, she asked her patients if they had any regrets from their life as they faced their death. The patterns she saw emerge with deep and powerful. I share with you the 5 regrets of the dying in this episode, so you can take a moment to evaluate whether you're on the path to experience any of them in your life.
How do you stop the process of self sabotaging? That's a million dollar question if I've ever heard one! I think most, if not all, of us can relate to self sabotage. We know what it feels like to see the potential for our greatness, and to do things to undermine our success. In today's episode I'm answering a great question from a listener that starts with self sabotage, and ends up going into some really awesome directions addressing goals, visualization and mission statements.
Have you ever felt like your life was not working? That in one (or many) areas of your life, things are just off and not where you want them to be?
Maybe you're in that place right now.
I recently had a very powerful and humbling experience that showed me why a few areas in my life were off, and today I'm sharing that insight with you.
In today's episode you'll hear about the one area where, if you're not showing up here then your life WILL be off, guaranteed!
When was the last time you were truly inspired by someones act of kindness and love?
For me, it was just a few minutes ago, and this gesture is the reason for today's episode.
I'm rebroadcasting an episode from a few months ago called Paying Forward Positivity, and it's because of what I just saw on my Instagram account -- an example of one of you, a listener of Having It A.L.L., taking me up on a call to action to support fathers dating their daughters.
What was the last empowering and loving daddy-daughter interaction you witnessed or experienced?
Hopefully you don't have to think too hard to come up with an example. But unfortunately it can be harder to think of examples of loving interactions between daddy's and daughters than disempowering ones.
Today I'm sharing exactly why and how I believe daddy-daughter dates can heal the world. This episode is for EVERYONE! Fathers, daughters, mothers, friends, people with kids or without kids.
Do you set new years resolutions?
If so, how often do you complete them? And more importantly, what is your experience of your new years resolution?
As you can tell by the title, I don't like new years resolutions at all. I'm all for people committing to better themselves, but the new years resolution framework is not set up for you to succeed.
In today's episode I share why I dislike new years resolutions and what to do instead if you want to start off your year on a powerful note.
For today's episode I'm bringing you an interview that I did with Dr. Kyrin Dunston on her podcast "Her Brilliant Health Radio".
I had a great time talking with Dr. Kyrin about nurturing relationships, achieving an abundant loving life, finding balance in life, discerning your own inner voice, and living life from a place of passion.
Links: https://www.kyrindunstonmd.com/herbrillianthealthradio/hbhr013
Do you have the life you want today?
Very few people can honestly say "yes" across the board. And that's totally cool. Many of us are on the journey to creating the experience we want in life.
But there is a large group of people who reject the journey altogether, and are frustrated that they aren't getting the results they way. If that's you, then tune in because I'm about to give you a reality check.
Can you think of a time when you questioned the timing of something?
Maybe you've taken a big step in your life recently, and you're judging the fact that it didn't happen earlier.
Or you so desperately want something to happen TODAY, and you're frustrated because it doesn't seem to be anywhere in sight.
In today's episode I'm sharing a perspective with you that will impact how you think about the timing of things in your life.
Why do some men seem like completely emotionless creatures? Why does it seem like men go out of their way to bury and hide their feelings? Why do men avoid vulnerability so vehemently?
In today's episode I'm sharing the truth that all men have feelings and emotions, and I'm discussing why so many of us choose not to show them.
What is the cost of your pursuit of perfection?
Today I'm bringing you a bonus episode (actually you'll get a few bonus episodes this week!). I'm talking about perfection and the belief that things need to be perfect in our lives before we take action.
Many times we seek perfection because we're scared of something, and by the end of today's episode my intention is that you have greater insight on this for yourself.
Do you feel you have work-life balance?
If you are, don't stress out. I was too. But I've realized that this concept of work-life balance does so much more harm than good, and actually results in a very ineffective way of looking at our lives.
In today's episode I'm sharing with you a different perspective for looking at how you can balance out the important things in your life. This perspective is one that I practice and preach, and it will change your life!
Are you familiar with visualization?
It's a technique that world class athletes and high achievers of all types, use to literally put themselves into a higher state of being mentally and emotionally.
I've been practicing it for a bit now, and in today's episode I'm sharing with you what the practice is all about, how it's done, and why I absolutely feel it's a powerful pathway to reprogramming your subconscious to align with the greatest version of yourself and live your best life.
Be completely honest with yourself: are you currently taking on the responsibility for another person's emotions?
If so, you want to listen to this episode several times.
In today's episode I'm giving some raw and honest feedback directed at those of us who feel like our jobs are to make others happy. It's a dangerous game to play that almost always results in frustration, resentment, and the breakdown of relationships.
What is the quality of your life right now?
In today's episode I'm sharing with you 8 key areas of life you want to take a look at periodically to assess the overall quality of your life. This episode is inspired by fellow greatness seeker, Lewis Howes. It was on his Instagram page that I saw him post about these 8 areas, and it moved me to share it with you all.
Here is the original IG post from Lewis Howes: https://www.instagram.com/p/BpzmA9iA7rR/
Did you know that letting go in life is a choice?
Yes, it’s moment-to-moment choice where you decided whether you will release what you’ve been fixating on, or add to your fixation.
Many of us can get down with the idea of “letting go”, but we fail to realize that it’s a constant choice that we must make again and again through our days, weeks, months, years. We falsely believe that we can “let go” once, and be healed forever.
Are you practicing sexual healing? So many different things can come up when we think about sexual healing. From healing past traumas to healing physical conditions to Marvin Gaye (seriously, that was my entire context until a number of years ago) -- we each have our own relationship when it comes to healing things in a sexual context. In today's episode I'm joined by my incredible wife, Sarah Bivens, and together we get raw and intimate on some current sexual healing that we're both doing.
Where do you spend most of your emotional time and energy: in things you can influence or in things you have zero control over?
If you're a proactive person who takes response-ability for their lives, then you absolutely focus on the things you can influence.
Reactive people spend their time focusing on things that they have zero control over.
The difference between circle of influence and circle of concern is at the heart of today's podcast.
What does being proactive mean to you?
I would say "It means taking initiative".
But I have learned that to Be Proactive means so much more. And understanding this meaning is imperative if you want to have it all and lead an abundant loving life.
In today's episode I bring in one of my favorite books, Stephen Covey's 7 Habits Of Highly Effective People.
Get ready to get your learnin on!
When do you apologize for something you've done? When is it appropriate to come clean in a situation, versus letting things go and moving on? In today's episode I'm replying to a listener message about knowing when to come clean, clear the air or let it go. This is such a common thing for all of us, and my intention is to give some perspective on fully owning your decisions.
If you were to take an audit of the environments you spend most of your time in, would you say that they uplift you, do nothing for you, or drag you down?
In today's episode I explore environments and talk about why it's so important that we are picky with the people and places we surround ourselves with. I also give you a few action items for taking a hard look at your environments and making some powerful changes.
How do you like to be loved? How does your partner prefer to be loved? Are they loving you in the style in which you like to be loved, and vice versa?
Today I'm sharing my favorite tool for creating a powerful relationship, and I'm taking up a notch by showing you how Sarah and I have turned the 5 Love Languages into a much more powerful tool for building our amazing relationship.
Oh, and are you in the TRUST Challenge yet? Learn more at www.matthewbivens.com/trust.
Be real with yourself: are you waiting for someone or something outside of yourself, to come and give you the life that you desire? At any level?
Today's episode is a deep look into my own beliefs that have been keeping at a certain place in my life. I'm sharing a raw audio, recorded in my car as an epiphany was washing over me.
EXCITING ANNOUNCEMENT The new TRUST Challenge is here! Join us as we build our trust & confidence within ourselves. 100% free. Learn more at www.matthewbivens.com/TRUST.
What does "having it all" mean to you?
It's a question I have asked so many people on this podcast. And I've received so many unique answers.
Well, today I'm bringing you an interview/conversation with the man who helped me develop that question (and this very podcast), and who has been an incredible influence in my life -- Day Adeogba.
We go wide and deep on this one, and I promise you'll understand why it's been a privilege to call Day my coach for the past 5 years.
When you think about sex, what is the goal for you? Is it to have an orgasm, or to make sure your partner has one? Is it to show your partner how much you love them and to validate your relationship?
For most of my life, the goal of sex was orgasm. But there are other goals of sex that can create a much more powerful, loving and connected experience.
Today I'm diving into the goal of sex and am serving up a few alternative that can help you create a more powerful and healthy sexual experience.
As your responsibilities go up (new children, new job, more lovers), is your capacity to handle these new responsibilities going up as well?
For most, the answer is something like "I don't even think about my capacity when I take on new life stressors". And if that sounds like you, then this episode will help you become aware of your current capacity and will give you very actionable steps to raise your ability to handle the life you've created.
How do you bounce back when your world gets rocked? When everything seems to be going wrong in your life? When your dreams are shattered?
In today's episode I share with you what inspired me to jump off the couch, grab my mic, and record this very podcast!
Also, check out the Life By Design, Not By Default Virtual Summit where I'm speaking about love, relationships and sex. Here's the website: https://lifebydesignsummit.com/register
What is a moment or experience that completely transformed who you were as a person?
For me the biggest one was experiencing the birth of my daughter, Maya.
Today is Maya's 2nd birthday (September 11, 2018), and on this special day I wanted to do something different on the podcast. So I'm sharing the story of her birth, from the early signs that Sarah and I realized labor was starting, to when we welcomed her Earth side in our bedroom (Maya was born at home, right in our master bedroom).
What is something that you've always wanted to do, but you know you've let fear and discomfort hold you back?
It's the first week of September, and that means Fall is officially here.
You've been putting in deposits into your tank for a while now, and now it's time for you to act.
In today's episode I'm setting up a context for getting into action to do things you've been afraid to do, to experience things you've always wanted to experience.
What does surrender mean to you?
When I started working with a coach I would hear the word "surrender" a lot. I had a hard time with that word, because for a long time "surrender" was a word of weakness and giving up.
Today my context around surrender is much different, and I use the word all the time.
In this episode I want to give you an alternative context for "surrender" that can empower you and create a much more enjoyable experience of life.
When was the last time you intentionally created time for you to check out and recharge?
Last week I talked about balance and gave you a different way to think about the elusive work-life balance.
Well today, I'm putting it into practice!
Sarah and I decided to take an impromptu vacation. We were feeling the impact of going hard for the last few months, and recognized we needed a break.
How are you currently experiencing life?
I'm not talking about the results you're creating. I'm talking about your EXPERIENCE of it all.
In today's episode I'm digging into why your experience of life is truly what matters, and how you can change it for the better.
What does living a balanced life mean to you? Similarly, how do you define health and fitness? And how do your perceptions of these concepts impact your overall wellbeing?
In this episode I'm talking about how you can view the idea of "balance" in a way that doesn't leave you feeling defeated and frustrated. I'm here to present to you an idea of how you can balance out your health and fitness in a way that's sustainable and holistic.
How healthy would you say your attachment is with your partner?
I don't know where I picked it up, but somewhere in my adolescence I adopted the belief that a healthy relationship was one where I could not be happy if my partner was not happy.
In today's episode I share an email from a listener who opens up on her relationship attachment. I appreciate her vulnerability and courage in this one because it gives us all a chance to heal and grow.
How willing are you to receive and surrender to healthy feedback that comes from a trusted source? Be honest with yourself. In today's episode I'm sharing the three types of feedback that exist, and talk about why each one is essential for your own growth and evolution. I also dig into why you keep experiencing the same results over and over in your life.
How full is your personal TRUST account? I'm not talking about a financial trust account. But the account we all have within us that measures how much TRUST we have in ourselves to do the things we say we're going to do. Chances are, it could use a few more deposits! Join us in the TRUST Challenge and make the commitment to daily deposits for the month of August 2018, and experience the massive impact that showing up for yourself constantly has on your life! Sign up at www.MatthewBivens.com/trust
So, in terms of your present comfort level, how do you feel about conversations about sexuality, intimacy, masculinity and vulnerability?
Got any butterflies in your stomach? Then this episode is totally for you!
Today I'm talking with Robert Kandell: co-founder of OneTaste and Orgasmic Meditation, speaker and coach on intimacy, masculinity and sexuality, host of the Tuff Love podcast, and author of unHIDDEN – A Book for Men and Those Who Are Confused By Them.
Today is a bit of a deviation from the normal episode. I was very inspired last night by something I saw on Instagram (it's rare, but when it happens it's potent), and I wanted to share this message with you all.
There are people in your life who you know, and many who you don't, who are influenced and inspired by you everyday. They see who you are choosing to be, and it gives them strength and hope that they can overcome the situations in their lives.
What are the myths and stereotypes around masculinity that you’re holding and giving strength to? What are the myths and stereotypes around masculinity that you’re holding and giving strength to?
Throughout my 31 years I've picked up all sorts of ideas around what it means to be a man. So many of those ideas reinforce dated and unhealthy stereotypes.
In today's episode I share my biggest stereotypes around masculinity, the things that trigger thoughts of comparison and feeling less than.
How comfortable are you saying "no" in your life?
So many of us struggle with saying no when people make requests of our time, space, energy, money, or love. We want to please. We want others to like us. We don't want to be seen as unhelpful or unavailable.
In today's episode I talk about the challenge of saying "no", and give you very concrete and actionable tips for strengthening that muscle within you.
What does it look like to create your ideal life RIGHT NOW?
I want you to seriously ask yourself this question.
Because chances are you're reciting some version of this to yourself: "My ideal life is when I have XYZ, or when I accomplish 123, or when ABC things happen for me". It's a normal thing to do.
But what's on the other side of that coin is the feeling that we are not able to create and experience our ideal version of our lives UNTIL some point in the future.
What is one belief that you know has radically transformed your life for the better?
Beliefs are something I talk about a ton on this show. The beliefs that you choose to wear on impact your actions, your habits, your relationships, your perspective on life.
I use the phrase "choose to wear on" incredibly intentionally as well.
In today's episode I share with you three specific beliefs that I have chosen to wear on in my life that have radically transformed my life in powerful ways.
How are your rituals impacting your life?
Big question, I know, but the point is to get you to reflect on your rituals and how they are impacting your day-to-day.
Today's episode is part 2 of my series where I share with you the rituals that I've cultivated and use to help me win in my health, relationships, business and spirituality. Today I'm talking about Business and Spirituality.
How are your rituals impacting your life?
In today's episode I share with you the rituals that I've cultivated and use to help me win in my health, relationships, business and spirituality. The habits I've created in these areas help to raise my energy, improve my health, enrich my relationships (with my spouse and others), and deepen my connection with myself and with source.
What does your extraordinary life look like?
On today's episode I'm bringing you something different. Normally I'm the one interviewing other people, but today I'm the one being interviewed!
This past week I was interviewed by Tiago Buhr, host of The Extraordinary Life Podcast. On his show, Tiago interviews people to learn insights on how to create an extraordinary life in all areas: business, freedom, spirituality, finances, health, sexuality, relationships and purpose.
When was the last time you intentionally tried to get rejected?
I was talking with a friend recently and he told me about a concept called “Rejection Therapy” that he was introduced to in business school, which completely changed his relationship to fear and rejection.
On today’s episode I invite my friend Alex Grodnik onto the show to talk to me about rejection therapy and how it helped him gain confidence and humility.
Have you ever felt completely lost in your life? Like you didn't know what you were "supposed" to do, who you should be as a person, and what your true passion was?
Geeze, I sure have!
I spent years in a state of confusion about all of those things. And truth be told, the fog is still lifting.
In today's episode I'm sharing the mic with Paul Colaianni - personal empowerment coach and host of The Overwhelmed Brain Podcast - to talk about introversion and finding your way in life.
How intentional are you with the way you start and end your day?
For years I completely neglected the importance of my morning and nighttime routines.
But as I grew older, began to take on more roles and responsibilities in my life, and began to feel the weight of life itself, I realized that the way I began and ended my day had a tremendous impact on what happened during my waking hours.
In today's episode I share with you the habits and routines I use to set myself up for success each day.
If you could deliver a message to younger generations, or perhaps your younger self, what would you say?
I had a chance to do that in today’s episode, thanks to a great listener email from Marcus.
In today’s episode I reply to Marcus’s email, sharing the advice I’d give my former self around college and the workplace.
So, let’s get real personal for a second: what are your biggest bedroom insecurities? What are those thoughts, stories and emotions that you bring into the bedroom that create nervousness, anxiety, or fear?
Yeah, I went there.
Why am I asking this question? Because talking about our bedroom insecurities is incredibly important, yet we rarely ever do it. Today, along with my friend Kyla Sokol-Ward, I'm talking about my biggest sexual insecurities and how to get over them if you experience them too.
What are you playing for in life?
Each of us have something that we're playing for in our lives. Some reason that we're waking up each morning and doing what we do. You already know the power of being intentional and having a vision for your life. One powerful tool that I've used to help me become the person I want to become, is a personal mission statement.
in today's episode I'm sharing with you my new personal mission statement and unpacking all of its elements.
When was the last time you felt like you were in a low point in your life?
When things were just not flowing like they usually do, and you wanted to get back on your horse.
On the flip side, when did you last feel like your life could not get sweeter and that more and more blessings were coming your way?
These my friends are the ebbs and flows of life. The ups and downs that we all experience. Constantly.
Who wants to talk about Abundant Love again?!
Judging from your response to the first abundant love episode, YOU DO!
In today's episode Sarah and I answer your most pressing questions about Abundant Love and how we make our unique love-style work for us.
This one is raw and honest, so get yourself in the space to listen some authentic sharing before you press play (and it's a good idea to not listen around young ears for this one).
For today's episode I'm sharing with you one a great conversation I had with my friend Kyla Sokol-Ward, all about sexual energy.
This episode made me excited and nervous all at the same time, and the topics we dive into are great because they give us a chance to confront some ideas and beliefs we hold that may no longer be serving us.
I'm also republishing this today to tease you about a new conversation with Kyla I'll be publishing in the coming weeks, this time about insecurities in the bedroom!
Do you hold the expectation that your relationship must check off all of your fulfillment boxes? How about your job, are you telling yourself that your job must be the perfect alignment of your passions, gifts and talents? I don't know where I picked up this story, but somewhere in my life I convinced myself that my partners (girlfriends and then wife), were SUPPOSED to fulfill me in every way: sexually, emotionally, mentally, socially, and every other way I can think of.
When was the last time a family member set you off? Family has this amazing ability to press our buttons like nothing else. They seem to know exactly what to say and how to say it to get behind our defenses, and find those tiny areas where they can trigger a huge emotional eruption. And they do is so effortlessly. It's enough to make you feel incredibly anxious, angry and defensive just thinking about it!
What happens when we derive our sense of security, wisdom, power and guidance from our family?
By the title of this episode you can guess that my argument is "Nothing good comes from that!"
In my life, I've experienced the consequence of attaching my happiness, sense of peace and overall wellbeing to the perceptions of my family. The result was an emotional rollercoaster that, at times, I'm still trying to get off.
What is faith? How does it differ from religion and spirituality? And how can you grow faith in your life? If you've ever asked yourself these questions then you're going to get some answers in this episode! I wanted to explore faith today because I know for myself, the idea of faith wasn't always clear to me. In my mind I connected faith with religion, so when I left religion in my teen years I also left faith.
What do you do when your relationship feels forced? When you feel like you're at an emotional crossroads and both decisions ahead of you feel scary?
In today's episode I'm answering a listener email from "Kim". I talk about: - Self worth conversations - Confidence and fulfillment - Being at a relationship crossroads - Consequences of asking deep questions
I know that a ton of you will be able to relate to this conversation!
How aware are you of the connection between your emotions and your ability to keep commitments?
Until recently, I really didn't think much about it.
But a few things have come up with me recently that really shines the spotlight on how huge of a roll my emotions play in my decision making.
Transparency and authenticity have certainly been theme of this podcast recently!
And for great reason. There is no abundant loving life when we're living lives of withhold, fear and attachment.
It just doesn't happen.
I experienced this lesson first hand recently, and in today's episode I'm sharing with you that experience and the 5 lessons I learned.
How often are you speaking your truth, displaying courage over consideration and sharing the thoughts, feelings and ideas that are really on your heart? How frequently are you being UNAPOLOGETICALLY YOU, without all the things you do, say and wear on to please others? Today's episode is all about the importance of speaking your voice and showing up authentically in every interaction. SPONSOR This episode is brought to you by Health I.Q. Go and check out Health I.Q.! They are an insurance company that helps health conscious people like yoga lovers, runners and vegetarians get lower rates on their life insurance. Go to HEALTHIQ.COM/ALL to support the show and see if you qualify.
Are your most intimate relationships (sexual and otherwise) creating healing, empowerment and joy within you? For years my paradigm around sex and intimate relationships was fixed. I viewed sex as a way to have fun, make babies, and relieve stress. And all of my sexual encounters pretty much fell into those boxes. I also had a very fixed view around relationships, marriage, and masculinity. I had beliefs about how relationships were supposed to look and operate, what marriage meant and the rules of engagement within that type of agreement, and how men were supposed to act and feel within all of that. Yet, my views and paradigms about relationships didn't match with what I felt I wanted to experience. My head and my heart were pulling me in opposite directions. What I was modeled and taught was clashing with how I felt, and I didn't know what to do. The result was an immense amount of guilt, shame, confusion, frustration and a whole host of other emotions that I laid onto myself to deal with this internal state of flux. Today I am at a much different place. I have a new understanding of what's possible within the most intimate of relationships. This episode is incredibly vulnerable for me because I'm talking about something that I've only hinted at before. I share the style of LOVING and the style of LIVING that I've chosen for myself, one that created the biggest opportunities within me for personal growth, healing and transformation.
How are you sacrificing your joy, abundance and greatness by killing possibility? In today's episode I'm sharing an experience I had recently that shined light on how I was completely destroying possibility in my life. This self-destructive habit was operating completely on auto-pilot, and I know I'm not alone!
What can your past habits, attachments, and behaviors tell you about how you relate to life?
For me, taking a look at my past gives me so many insights and tools which I can use in my life today.
One area which has proven to be a rich source of lessons, is my previous attachment to weed (marijuana).
So tune in as I share what my weed habit taught me about fear, dependency and the nature of how I relate to challenging circumstances in my life.
If you were to rate from 1-10 the level of trust, honesty and authenticity in your current most important relationships, where would you rate them?
You already know that trust is a crucial element for a powerful relationship, and it's probably something that's come up in your past or current relationships.
Can you relate with feeling uncomfortable in your own skin?
I can.
In this episode, I'm diving deep into my own experience of growing up biracial, and the disempowering (and sometimes empowering) stories, perceptions and beliefs that I carried around with me.
How many of us can relate to feeling like we don’t know where we’re going in life? Or the feeling of being lost and confused, even when you’re “supposed” to have it all together?
Maybe you’ve always felt that way, or perhaps you’ve just slipped into that state and are looking for a way out.
In today’s episode I’m doing something I haven’t done yet on the Having It A.L.L. podcast, I’m answering an email from a listener.
When was the last time you had a major breakdown in confidence and self worth?
In today's episode I'm sharing the story of attending my wife's high school reunion. I went through the gamut of emotions, limiting beliefs, and self deprecating stories, leading up to and during this reunion. I questioned my abilities as an entrepreneur, husband and provide. It was fascinating!!
What is sexual energy?
Before a few years ago, I wouldn’t have a clear answer for you. Today I can shed a little more light on the topic, from my experiences and conversations, but I’m still a baby in that area (and that keeps me humbled and excited!)
One thing I know is that sexual energy is life energy, and it’s a vital part of who we are as humans. That’s what I choose to believe anyway.
How are the decisions you're making and the person you're being, giving those around you permission to play small and stay in their fears?
In this episode I'm exploring why we look to others to help us stay in our fears, and am giving you things to think about next time you are on the fence yourself.
What's the point of going after anything that's reasonable in life?
I absolutely love this question because I believe answering it gets to the core of what we are all playing for in life. HAVING IT ALL and experiencing an unreasonable amount of abundance and love in every area of life.
That's worth going after!
I'm psyched for this episode because it marks the kickoff of the new Having It A.L.L. season.
How aware are you of the impact your relationships are having on your health?
In today's episode (which is a rebroadcast of the show from July 11 2016), I'm diving into relationships (and I'm not talking about relationships in the way you might be thinking).
This episode will get you thinking.
When you discover that your partner has been holding onto a lie, how does that impact your relationship?
Today I have a special episode for you! I'm bringing you my entire conversation with Paul Colaianni where we talk about lies in relationships, from The Overwhelmed Brain Podcast, .
When it comes to podcasting, I'm not just a guy behind the mic. I'm also a guy behind the people behind the mics, meaning that I also produce shows for folks! You can learn about that at www.Done4UPodcasting.com
One of the shows I produce is for my badass wife, Sarah Bivens. Her new podcast is called "The Balance and Motherhood Podcast", and on today's episode I'm giving you all a sneak peak into her new show.
Who will you become in 2018?
We're all used to setting new years resolutions and goals for what we want to DO in the upcoming year, but rarely do we make time for a much more important exercise -- being clear on who we want to become in the new year.
In today's episode I'm sharing with you three mindsets that have been the biggest catalysts for my personal transformation over the past 4 years. From my self confidence, to the quality of my relationships, to my ability to attract money and create wealth, these 3 things have been the spark for them all.
This episode was inspired by a question I was asked last week, "What would you attribute to the huge transformation you've made in your life over the past 4 years?".
Have you ever wanted to get a look behind the curtain at someones relationship?
My wife Sarah and I host a podcast together called Doing It At Home. On that show listeners hear us being ourselves - a fun, goofy, dynamic couple that enjoys a bit of banter, a few mild jokes at the others expense, tons of love and support for each others greatness. All of that comes through on that show. And listeners of the show reach out to show us appreciation for how we appear on the podcast.
Who is holding you accountable to stepping into your greatness, healing your traumas and living your best life?
We hear a lot in personal growth circles the “importance of accountability”. In my opinion it’s the biggest factor to moving through blockages and achieving your goals. Not just corporate, career or business goals, but personal growth, healing and happiness goals!
In today’s episode I’m bringing you a great conversation I had with Adam Roa. Sometimes I feel like I have the coolest gig in the world, because I get to spend time hanging out with people like Adam. He is a coach, poet, speaker, podcaster and lover. I through that last descriptor in there because one of the ways in interpreted Adam’s mission is to help people remember that they are love, and to move them closer to a state of being love - towards themselves, others and life itself.
In today's episode I'm sharing my comments on the final words of David Cassidy, who passed away this past Tuesday at the age of 67.
As shared by his daughter Katie Cassidy, his final words were "So much wasted time."
Those words impacted me in a profound way.
In today's episode I'm sharing with you a concept called "The Hour Of Giving".
What would happen if you spent the first hour of every day making deposits into the emotional bank accounts of others? What shifts do you think you'd see in your relationships? In your job? In your business? In your health?
Today's episode is a about gratitude. I've talked about gratitude twice in the past week because of how important it is to experience an Abundant Loving Life.
I recommend creating a moment each day to express gratitude in some sort of way. Doesn't need to be fancy, although that's fine as well. I'm grateful to you and your support. Join me and express your gratitude for something in your life.
On this episode I'm joined by my wife Sarah as she breaks down the 8 habits of a Humble Badass. What is a Humble Badass you ask? Well you'll have to tune in to find out!
The premise of this show is looking at how we can create more ABUNDANCE and LOVE in our LIVES so that we can have the experience of life we truly desire. Sarah's message aligns perfectly with that because her approach to wellness (Sarah is a Balance Lifestyle Coach and Personal Trainer) is one that emphasizes the values of the show.
In today's episode I'm sharing with you 4 everyday activities that you can use to practice mindfulness.
Mindfulness is about bringing your attention to the present moment. Meditation is one way you can practice mindfulness. But there are other ways.
In today's episode I'm talking about how gratitude can improve your productivity. There are very practical benefits to creating a gratitude practice, that honestly, until recently I was unaware of. But after reading an article by my good friend, Garland Vance (www.GarlandVance.com), I now have greater awareness around the role gratitude can play in our lives.
In today's episode I'm sharing a way for you to learn how to change your relationship towards stress. If you're used to feeling stressed out with ish hits the fan, and you have been unable to shift that feeling, then tune in! I'm going to share with you how you can use exercise to learn how to deal with stress more effectively.
Today's episode is examining our expectations and our effort, and seeing if our walk truly matches up with our talk.
As we go on our separate personal development journeys towards greater peace, health, wealth, clarity, relationships....whatever it is....it's important to check in with ourselves and be truly honest as to whether we hold expectations and intentions about the results we'd like to see in our lives, that don't end up matching with the effort we're putting in.
Today's episode is all about the rubber meeting the road. I'm talking about the only time when your self help, personal development, self empowerment....whatever you want to call it....practices matter, is when you have to prove it.
We know that talk is cheap. But so too is practice. Practice means nothing if we choke come game day.
In today’s episode I’m bringing you part 2 of my inspiring conversation with Chris Perez. This time around, we kick things off by tackling perhaps the underlying theme to this entire podcast: stepping into your fears. Chris shares a story of a recent military deployment and how it impacted his mental and emotional wellbeing, and what he did to find joy and peace despite the circumstances.
We end our conversation by talking about leadership. You don’t want to miss it!
In this episode I'm sharing a very simple and effective practice for not only building your courage in the face of anxiety and current challenges, but building your overall sense of belief in yourself that you can overcome any challenge or obstacle that you're presented with.
This episode was inspired by The O Project - a powerful photography project that aims to "[break] down the barriers of female sexual well-being", created by Marcos Alberti.
In today’s episode I’m sharing with you 7 must haves for healthy, sexy, thriving relationships. This list is not what you may be expecting. I’m not listing off things like “Be an effective communicator”, or “Spend more time looking into each other’s eyes”. Nope, I’m giving you ingredients that get to the core of who YOU are, so that you are as powerful as you can be before you enter into a new relationship (or while you’re in them).
In today's episode I share with you a fantastic conversation I had with an incredibly inspiring man, Chris Perez.
Chris is all about empowering leaders to "Unleash Personal Potential" through emotional, physical, and spiritual balance.
In today's episode I'm sharing with you my tried and tested process for being more productive and feeling more fulfilled, by working smarter and not harder.
I have been somewhat obsessed with productivity and work efficiency ever since graduating college. Once I jumped into the working world and realized that I could easily eat up 12 hours of my day on menial tasks and still not feel like I had really done anything, I got to work developing a better system for myself.
In today's episode I celebrate reaching the 100 episode milestone and share the four greatest lessons I've learned throughout the run of the show. The 4 areas which spoke to me on this episode were health, success, relationships and fear. Each of these topics represents an area of profound transformation for me, an area where I've experienced breakdowns and breakthroughs.
Today's episode I predict will be a powerful one for many. I'm talking about how to know when you're on the right path in life, and how to see the signs when you are out of alignment.
In this episode I'm talking about affirmations and positive self talk, and giving you my perspective as a self-diagnosed pragmatist.
Today I have a special BONUS episode for you. 1 year ago today, on September 11, 2016, my daughter Maya was born. Sarah and I welcomed here into the world in a planned home birth. We shared the entire birth experience on our podcast Doing It At Home, and today I thought it would be fun to share that conversation with you all.
In today's episode I have an awesome conversation with Michelle Khouri about connecting with your inner beauty, seeing the beauty in others, practical self love tips, and all around how to level up your life.
In this episode I'm shining light on something that frequently happens when we seek an abundant life. It's not always talked about, and often is judged. However it's completely natural and common and happens to pretty much everyone who is seeking to experience more abundance in their life. I'm talking about abundanc-itis.
Today I wanted to talk about those moments that come across our path in life where you just have to say "f**k it!" and take a leap of faith (sometimes, literally).
In today's episode I'm sharing my thoughts on The Law Of Attraction. I talk about why it's controversial, share my thoughts on it, and give you some practical advice on how to put The Law Of Attraction to use in your life.
In today's episode I'm recalling some significant, and almost missed lessons from a recent client call. What I share is applicable to everyone, whether you're working in a corporate setting, a stay-at-home parent (holla!), or grinding away in school.
In today's episode I'm referencing the well known saying that you are given "what you need, not what you want". I explore this belief and share a story of a recent encounter when this belief was shared with me first hand.
In this episode I'm sharing with you a few common examples of when the universe places people or things in our path that are there to help us, and yet we refuse the help. For me, asking for help has been a challenge since I was young. I don't really know when I started to feel like I needed to take care of things on my own, but that belief follows me to this day. I'll say "no" to an offer of assistance, even when I want it or when it would make my life easier. I'll refrain from sharing a challenge I'm having and instead keep it inside and struggle with it on my own. And I'll create stories in my mind that people don't want to give me help, or that I'm being needy or a ton of other crazy things. Similarly, I'm not great at delegating, which impacts my work and which I believe is a consequence of my issues with receiving help. I've become more aware of my hangups around asking for help, and have started being more intentional about accepting the gifts of help when the universe presents them.
In today's episode I'm sharing an example of consistency that I experience in my life every week. His name is Robert Monroe and he has been on this podcast before. In the episode titled "“You Have To Move Your Feet”: A Story About Seeing the Beauty in All of Life’s Circumstances", Robert shares his inspiring story and message about moving through life's circumstances. This past week I received a lesson in consistency and was inspired by just how consistent Robert had been over the past 12 months in being intentional about transforming his health. I leave with you some very simple tips about creating more consistency in your life that will help you build momentum and have it all. Show notes: Check out my earlier conversation with Robert - “You Have To Move Your Feet”: A Story About Seeing the Beauty in All of Life’s Circumstances
In this episode I'm sharing a personal story about my challenges with saying "I'm sorry", especially when it comes to family. I've shared personal family challenges on this podcast many times before. It's part of my personal belief that we can all learn from each others breakthroughs and breakdowns. Today I'm happy to report that I believe a new, empowering chapter has been opened in my family relationships, and it began with an apology.
In today's episode I'm breaking down Tim Ferriss's most recent TED talk titled "Why you should define your fears instead of your goals". In this TED talk, Tim shares a simple exercise he calls "Fear Setting" which helps him break out of the paralyzing grips of fear, and focus on what he can control in situations. In the episode I share a personal example of using this Fear Setting Exercise to weigh the costs and benefits of a fearful situation in my life. I highly recommend watching Tim's TED talk, which you can see here: https://www.ted.com/talks/tim_ferriss_why_you_should_define_your_fears_instead_of_your_goals?utm_source=tedcomshare&utm_medium=referral&utm_campaign=tedspread
In this episode I'm breaking down the Be-Do-Have paradigm from the book Beyond Body Beyond Mind by Dr. Sukhi Muker. Two friends introduced me to this book, and I'm extremely grateful they did, because in it Dr. Muker helps me finally grasp my mind around a concept that has been eluding me for some time -- what it means to BE something. You've probably heard someone say something along the lines of "All you have to do is BE it. Don't try to do anything. Just BE." Well if you haven't, I sure have and each time I'm left feeling stumped and frustrated. Stumped because I'm someone with a very grounded, step-by-step mind. I strive to understand the steps behind the exercises I jump into, whether they be physical or like in this case, mental. I was frustrated because I had heard so many times this idea of BEing. It comes up in books I read, podcasts I listen to, conversations I have in my community. Everyone else seemed to be grasping it, but I was completely in the dark. So when I picked up Beyond Body Beyond Mind and there were very clear instructions on how to BE, I was extremely excited! In this episode I jump into the book and share the passages that resonated so powerfully with me. I also take the text a step further and share my examples how you can Be-Do-Have in your life. Sponsor Podcasting isn't just for hobbyists! Entrepreneurs and businesses can see huge gains in clients, reach and authority through hosting their own podcast. I can help make sure you have everything in place to launch, grow and monetize your show. PLUS my team and I will take care of the technical headaches like editing and publishing. To learn more and get in touch simply visit www.MatthewBivens.com/PODCAST.
In today's episode I'm talking about self love, but not in the way you're probably used to. Self love conversations are ubiquitous these days. Everyone's talking about. But beyond "positive self affirmations" and "choosing healthy foods" do we really know what self love means? Do we understand what the essence of self love is and how certain activities that we do, many times without thinking, are undermining all of the surface level self love work we put so much effort into? In this episode I'm going to give you a completely new way to look at self love. It's not another thing for you to do, but a lens through which to look at all of your self love activities. This was a fun episode for me because I recorded the entire thing while I was walking to the movies. Sarah was out of town with the car for the weekend, and when I wanted to go catch a movie it meant I was walking. During my walk I was observing how taking myself to movies was an act of self love, and the idea for this episode was born. Once you listen, I'd love to hear your thoughts, comments, and feedback on the episode. You can email me directly at mattcbivens@gmail.com, or use the contact form on my website www.MatthewBivens.com. And for those people interested in learning more about my podcast services, you can find out more at www.MatthewBivens.com/PODCAST. If you have any questions please reach out using the info above.
In this episode I'm exploring Delayed Gratification, and how it's linked to success. I discuss the famous Stanford Marshmallow Study, describe my relationship with delayed gratification in key areas of my life (relationships, business, gardening), and reveal why I think we have been looking at delayed gratification in the wrong way.
In today's episode I'm sharing with you my tried and tested process for being more productive and feeling more fulfilled, by working smarter and not harder. I have been somewhat obsessed with productivity and work efficiency ever since graduating college. Once I jumped into the working world and realized that I could easily eat up 12 hours of my day on menial tasks and still not feel like I had really done anything, I got to work developing a better system for myself. I read articles and books, watched people's "life hack" tips, tried anything that seemed like it might work for me. Many things did not work, but a few did. Years later, I'm now in a new place in my life where being efficient and producing a lot in a short period of time is extremely important. I'm a new father to an 8 month old baby girl, I run multiple businesses from home, and I produce 2 podcasts. All of this happens from my house. On top of that, I frequently have solo daddy-baby time while Sarah is out training clients. So my windows of free time are slim. But that hasn't stopped me from taking on new and bigger projects, it has only encouraged me to hone a productivity system that worked for me. In this episode I'm sharing with you the system that Sarah and I currently are using to maximize our productivity in our lives. This system is very similar to the one used by John Lee Dumas -- the host and creator of Entrepreneur On Fire, and a guy who is known to publish 7 podcasts a week while running his EOFire empire (which is pretty darn large). He does all of this with a very small tea working less than 4 hours a day. John was an early guest on this podcast, and even though we talked about productivity then, I didn't realize that our strategies to maximize our output were similar. So check out the episode and I hope you walk away from it with some actionable tips you can put to use right away to regain time, feel more productive, and truly Have It A.L.L.. Notes from this episode: How to have fun and still be very successful How I conquered the 8 hour work day Pomodoro Technique
Today's episode is a rebroadcast of an amazing conversation I had with Heather Gray. The original podcast episode is titled "Learning How to Choose Happiness and Create The Life You Want". There’s a fundamental belief that separates the people who feel like they have it all from the people who don’t, and that’s the belief that you have the power to CHOOSE. It’s all about CHOICE. That’s the difference maker. People who feel in their heart and soul that they have it all, have made a conscious choice to feel that way. They’ve literally decided that they can have it all in life, and subsequent choices aligned with the core belief. My guest today is a powerful example and evangelist of that belief! Heather Gray’s business name says it all: Choose To Have It All. Sounds sort of familiar, huh? Heather is an executive coach, working with entrepreneurs and business leaders who have achieved that EXTERNAL success - you know, the great career, fat bank account, titles behind their name, but that success has come at the expense of their internal well being. What Heather does is she helps them have the lifestyle and wealth that they want, but also the personal fulfillment that they truly desire. If you’ve read Stephen Covey’s landmark book The 7 Habits Of Highly Effective People, then you may remember that Habit #1 is “Be Proactive”, and that the essence of that habit (the major takeaway) is CHOICE. Proactive people are aware of their ability to choose: choose their response to circumstances, choose their relationship to themselves, others and life, and choose their level of joy and peace in life. That’s the recurring theme in my conversation with Heather. What you’ll hear in this episode: How to tap into your previous experience to find strength and add to your personal toolbox Why you sometimes have to “embrace the suck” in order to move forward How to show compassion and empathy in the face of someone else’s struggle Powerful quotes You have to choose your own happy! Notes from this episode: Heather’s website ChooseToHaveItAll.com
Susan Cain’s book Quiet
In today's episode I'm sharing a very personal recent experience of having to say goodbye to our family dog, and how I have been able to shift my feelings and emotions from those of grief to gratitude. I missed publishing an episode last week. It's only the second or third time that's happened in the 12+ months of this show. I felt bad knowing that you all were waiting for a new episode, however I was struggling to relate to a personal family challenge that was going on last week. Last Wednesday we said goodbye to our family dog Olive. It was one of the hardest, most emotional experiences of my life. It was unexpected, quick, and when it was over I was left with a big hole that didn't feel like it would be filled anytime soon. Sarah and I adopted Olive 4 years ago from a shelter here in Atlanta. She was a pitbull mix with pretty bad mange damage to her hair, so she was most likely not going to be adopted. We fell in love with her when we first saw her photos online. She joined our family and quickly assumed her role as sister to our hound dog Watson and loyal friend to Sarah and I. When baby Maya was born, Olive relished in her new role as doggy sister. For 2 days after we said goodbye to Olive, my emotions were all over the place. I cried more and harder than I had in probably 20 years. I had no appetite, no desire to do work. I was in it deep. It took me a while to start to see the blessings in the situation. But when I did, the flood of gratitude poured over me and almost immediately lifted me up. I became so grateful that I was able to say goodbye to my friend. Not only that, I was able to hold her, talk to her and tell her I loved her as the vet gave her the injection that would end her life. It was a very moving experience for Sarah and I. One that I am very grateful to have been able to experience with Olive. I also because incredibly grateful at the 4 amazing years we had her as a friend. From day 1 she was so full of love. If you rearrange the letters in her name they spell "I Love", and that's exactly what she did every single day. I became grateful that I was able to experience that and see what it's like to be loved unconditionally. Once the gratitude hit me, the sadness and pain weren't as strong. This experience has reminded me that gratitude can be found in any situation. There is always something we can take away from it that will shift our perspective and uplift our lives, if we choose. The experience also reminded me that we are not promised tomorrow. As cliche as that is, none of us know what may happen in the next hour, day, week. Understanding that can help us become more present, patient, and loving today. I make more of a point to greet friends and family with genuine love when I see them and when they leave. I am stopping more frequently to BE instead of do. I am communicating my gratitude for others and sharing how people inspire me. Overall, I'm smelling the roses more and it has created more joy in my life. This episode is a reminder of how much we have to be grateful for and how we are all experiencing abundance in every moment. What we're experiencing an abundance of is up to us. Music: Theme song is “Love” by maxzwell Feeling inspired to subscribe on iTunes review? >> Click here <<
In today's episode I'm sharing something that I am working on doing less of in my life, and that's envying others successes. It's been something that happens almost automatically at times. I might see someone who has more money than I do, a [seemingly] more in tact family than I do, has achieved more business success than I have, and the gut reaction I have is slight envy. I want what they have. I do this knowing full well how risky it is to build a story about someone else's perceived "successes", without knowing anything about that person. I'm guilty of if, and in today's episode we're exploring that. The episode was inspired by a conversation I was having with a listener. We were talking about our families and upbringings, and both of us have parents who are doctors. In what I feel is a pretty fascinating parallel, despite both of our families having an outward appearance of American Success (middle to upper middle class, parents who are doctors, living in the burbs), we both remember our families struggling financially. On the surface we had the things that many label successes, but the truth was that our families were having trouble putting food on the table. That same day I was engaging in an online business group I'm a part of, and a member posed the question "Of businesses who report making $1,000,000 in revenue, how much of that do you think is profit?" Again it made me think about the outward story vs the inward truth.
In this episode I'm giving you the 5 W's of radical self awareness. Each of the 5 W's will give you questions to ponder about your life: the people you surround yourself with, the environments you place yourself in, the path that you're currently on, the destination you want to make it to, the catalysts that will inspire you to leave your safety net. Now, the credit for this episode has to be given to listener Benjamin Foley. Benjamin reached out to me via email this week and we started a dialogue. I quickly learned that Benjamin has a similar beliefs about health and happiness, and we share a unique relationship to fear and anxiety -- we lean into them. I also learned that Benjamin is a great writer and shares his thoughts on his blog. That's where I found the article which inspired this podcast episode. That article is called "Advice On Anxiety No One Tells You" (link below). In this episode you'll get some great tools for introspection that are guaranteed to help you realign your life to healing and love. It takes courage to do this kind of work, but I know you're just the bold person to do it! Notes from this episode: Benjamin's blog - FullyRichLife.com The article that inspired this podcast episode - "Advice On Anxiety No One Tells You" Simon Sinek's TED Talk about starting with "Why?" Steve Harvey's video "You have to jump" My podcast episode inspired by the Steve Harvey video - "How To JUMP Into The Life You Truly Want To Live" Music: Theme song is “Love” by maxzwell Feeling inspired to subscribe on iTunes review? >> Click here <<
In today's episode I'm introducing a simple and new way to think about life balance. It's called "The Body Vehicle" and in the episode I'm breaking down exactly what the Body Vehicle is, what it reveals about life balance, and how you can apply it to your own life. This concept of The Body Vehicle is not of my own creation. I learned it through the YourDay Balance Game (a health and fitness game governed by love and balance). Since balance is in the title of the YourDay Balance Game, you can believe that achieving a work-life balance is part of the makeup! The Body Vehicle is actually just one of many different ways I've learned to conceptualize and approach life balance through the YDBG, and I'll be covering a few more of those ways in future episodes. But today I'm focusing on the Body Vehicle. Here's a thought for you to chew on: if your body were a car on the road of Life, how smooth is your ride? To take it a step further, if your car had 5 wheels on it (Spiritual, Mental, Social, Emotional and Physical) and the smoothness of your ride was determined by how inflated or deflated those tires were, what does your ride feel like now? Are you riding through life with a few under-inflated tires? Is your ride bumpy because you've over-inflated some of your wheels, and maybe don't even have certain wheels at all? I'm going to break down this helpful analogy further in the episode, explain to you each of the 5 wheels and how they interact, and give you a few things to chew on that will help you evaluate just how smooth or bumpy your ride through life is on your Body Vehicle. Music: Theme song is “Love” by maxzwell Feeling inspired to subscribe on iTunes review? >> Click here <<
On this episode I'm joined by my wife Sarah as she breaks down the 8 habits of a Humble Badass. What is a Humble Badass you ask? Well you'll have to tune in to find out! The premise of this show is looking at how we can create more ABUNDANCE and LOVE in our LIVES so that we can have the experience of life we truly desire. Sarah's message aligns perfectly with that because her approach to wellness (Sarah is a Balance Lifestyle Coach and Personal Trainer) is one that emphasizes the values of the show. In our conversation we go through the 8 frameworks of Unleash Your Humble Badass, the process that Sarah takes her lifestyle coaching clients through. It's this same process and framework that allows Sarah to show up powerfully in all her roles in life, and I'm super excited to hand these tools over to you and see what you do with them! Everything we're talking about are simply tools. You may choose to pick them up and use them, or not. There is not one single path to experiencing abundance and love in life (if someone tells you there is, you may want to turn the other way). What I'm offering you up in this episode is a path that might resonate with your spirit. Check it out and get ready to unleash your Humble Badass! Show notes: Learn more about Unleash Your Humble Badass at www.SarahBivens.com/badass
The 5 Love Languages Simon Sinek "Why" The 7 Habits Of Highly Effective People The YourDay Balance Game My first conversation with Sarah -- Why Personal Mission Statements Are The Most Powerful Way To Uncover Your Direction And Path
Today's episode is a rebroadcast of an episode from the first few weeks of the podcast. In it, I'm having an amazing conversation with Monique Ruffin. Monique Ruffin is a celebration of living. She is one of those people that folks say has “A beautiful soul”. And I completely understand why. Monique grew up in the neighborhood of Watts in Los Angeles. Yes, that Watts. It's where Sanford And Sons was set, and was where Denzel Washington and Ethan Hawke duke it out in Training Day. That neighborhood is not known for many empowering things, but it’s where Monique called home. Growing up in an area impacted by crack, with parents in and out of jail, many wouldn’t have been surprised if Monique failed to transcend her environment. But she did, and in a big way. Monique is a mother, writer, creator, coach, radio host and group facilitator. But most of all she’s an example of what it looks like to live with heart, authenticity, courage, vulnerability and realness. In our conversation, Monique and I talk about her childhood, the lessons she’s learned as a mother, and how we can all grow beyond our circumstances. What you’ll learn in this episode: How to understand yourself so you can navigate life’s challenging circumstances The power of being curious 2 profound takeaways from motherhood
In this episode I’m talking about my experience with intermittent fasting - a pattern of eating and fasting that has become popular in the health and fitness community lately. I have been doing intermittent fasting for the past 4 years, yet my reasons for it are probably much different than most. Intermittent fasting most recently came into public awareness by Terry Crews - the actor and former football player with the crazy fit body and totally weird Old Spice commercials. He was interviewed on Business Insider about his eating patterns. In the interview he shared how intermittent fasting has helped him stay in shape. Perform a Google search of "intermittent fasting" and you'll see plenty of people in support, and some against. In this episode I'm not giving you any medical advice on advice on physical health or nutrition. Instead, I'm sharing with you one of the consequences with intermittent fasting, and that's how it reveals your attachments.
In today's episode I'm sharing with you three mindsets that have been the biggest catalysts for my personal transformation over the past 4 years. From my self confidence, to the quality of my relationships, to my ability to attract money and create wealth, these 3 things have been the spark for them all. This episode was inspired by a question I was asked last week, "What would you attribute to the huge transformation you've made in your life over the past 4 years?". Here's where I was: I didn't trust myself. I had low confidence that I could do and achieve what I wanted to in life (financially, career wise, goal wise, in relationships, etc.) I wore a mask of physical confidence -- friends saw me as a person who was confident in my body, but internally I judged, and compared and told myself that I was never big, strong, "black" enough. I had complete financial immaturity. I was totally scarce minded. Afraid to look at my bank account. Anxious during financial conversation. I was swimming in student loan and credit card debt, and had no plan to get out because I was so scared of my personal finances. I had a lukewarm intimate relationship with my wife (dating at the time). We both came into the relationship with fears, judgements, negative self talk, and that created a lukewarm bedroom. Where I am 4 years later: Insane confidence in myself, that's grounded with humility. I have come to understand things about myself, how I operate, what I'm capable of, that I never knew before. realized I'm stronger, smarter, more resourceful, kind, compassionate, passionate, sexy, courageous than I ever knew possible. Also realized that I don't know it all, that my growth is contingent upon my ability to seek and receive feedback powerfully. That's where my humility comes from. I have a strong, passionate, loving, trusting relationship with my wife. connected, not attached. Amazing sex and intimacy. We feel confident to explore the parameters of our relationship and what loving one another unconditionally means. For us that looks like non-monogamy. We're married and love each other completely, and we support one another in creating powerful, intimate relationships with other people (physically, spiritually, emotionally....all of that) Iv'e opened myself up to receive abundance and generate more money today than I ever have, with much less effort. I have confidence in my ability to achieve the goals I set out. I'm able to take risks and do things that no one else around me is doing (quit my job to pursue a passion, right before having a baby, start a podcast, leverage my gifts and talents, build an online empire). Listen to the episode to hear the 3 mindsets that have led to all of these personal transformations.
In today's episode I'm sharing with you some steps to help you to stop making fear based decisions in your life, especially around major life decisions, and to start deciding from a place of love. I think we all know what it's like to be at a crossroads, and to choose the path of fear. I've done it countless times in my past and each time it left me feeling regretful, shameful, guilty or another one of the many fear based emotions that are available to choose from. Most of us also know what it's like to choose the path of love and growth as well, and we've experienced the freedom, excitement, energy, healing, and possibility that comes from choosing in that state of mind. In this episode I explore the consequences of both types of decision making, and I give you some tips on how to avoid making fear based decisions that leave you feeling less than.
This episode is a rebroadcast of a powerful conversation I had with Paul Colaianni -- host of The Overwhelmed Brain Podcast and author of "The Overwhelmed Brain: Personal Growth For Critical Thinkers". Paul Colaianni has not always led an authentic life. Experiences as a child taught him that authenticity and self expression were detrimental to his health and the health of those around him, so he bottled them up. The result was a life ripe with unsteady relationships, frustration, and disillusionment. It wasn’t until facing the end of another relationship, that Paul reached an emotional, mental and spiritual breaking point, which sent him on a 10 year journey to study and self examine. Today, Paul is a self empowerment coach who uses his life experiences and the insights he’s picked up along the way, to coach others through their challenges and help them reach their personal goals. In this episode, Paul shares what he’s learned through a life of exploring what living authentically means to him, and he gets personal with me and he talks about his experience of growing up in an alcoholic home, destroying relationships with judgement and fear, and going through life not being his true authentic self. Notes From This Episode: Paul’s Website: TheOverwhelmedBrain.com Paul’s Podcast: The Overwhelmed Brain Podcast Stop Self-Sabotage! Workbook
In today's episode I'm talking about the importance of keeping the promises you make to yourself. As with many things in life, our ability to keep promises to others is linked to our ability to keep promises to ourselves. If we break internal promises we're more likely to break external promises, both big and small. The idea of integrity is at stake here -- doing what you say you will do. Each time you don't keep a promise to yourself, you let yourself down. Your confidence is shook. You don't believe you'll be able to do it next time. And at that point you're sunk. Failing to keep a promise communicates that you don't value the person you made the promise to, which in this case is YOU. Failing to keep promises erodes trust. It messes with your self esteem, confidence, our experience of life. In short, there are many crappy consequences to failing to keep promises to yourself. Yet we continue to do it. For me, it wasn't until I became aware of (A) just how frequently I was breaking promises to myself, and (B) the impact that breaking those promises was having on my ability to keep my word with other people, that I truly started understanding the significance of my actions, and started making a change. Here's how to keep more of the promises you make to yourself (borrowed from this blog article): Make it concrete -- smart goals Write it down Start small if you can do the small, you can do the big (opposite is also true: if you CANT do the small, how can you do the big?)
Do it no matter what you may make excuses, rationalize not doing it, have 100 great reasons why something else is more important -- do it anyway
Hold same standard for others Notes from this episode: The Balance Chart Article I referenced 5 Tips To Help You Keep Your Promises
In this episode I'm talking about an aspect of health and wellness that I don't think gets a lot of attention, and that's your relationship towards money. For 18 years I've had an incredibly disempowering relationship with my personal finances. I went years without looking into the state of my personal finances, dodging creditor phone calls, never checking my credit score, and blowing all my cash as soon as it was payday. What that got me was massive anxiety around just about anything money related. But things changed for me 2 years ago when I became very intentional about shifting my relationship towards money. Now, I believe that a healthy relationship towards and knowledge of your personal finances is vital to feeling like you have it all. Remember, A.L.L. stands for "Abundant Loving Life", and Life can be broken down to the 6 F's of: Faith, Family, Friends, Fitness, FINANCE and Fun. How can you have an abundant and loving relationship with Finance if you're afraid of it? I'm sharing with you some of the mindset shifts that have happened with me that has ushered me down a new path in how I experience my finances and with what I'm attracting. I'm also sharing with you the tool that Sarah and I use to get out household finances in order and finally feel like we're adults who are on top of things! Notes from this episode: The 7 Baby Steps in Dave Ramsey's Financial Peace
I'm coming clean in this episode and am sharing something I've been feeling for a little while now: I'm tired of working on myself. I'm tired of feeling like I need to constantly improve myself, fix things, heal wounds, grow and transform. At the moment - and I stress that I understand this to be a momentary feeling and not a permanent state, but nevertheless - I feel the desire to unplug, get out of my environment for a bit, and live on a beach. Yes, I want to spend my days in the sun and sand : ) I'm sharing this for a few reasons: First, it's my truth and this show is all about transparency. So there's that. Second, because I know other people out there are feeling similar. You are feeling totally inundated with "self help" stuff. You can't open up your social media without seeing inspirational quotes and videos with dramatic music. You can't walk through a bookstore without someones guide to improving everything that's wrong with you being broadcast from a shelf. You can't hop into a podcast without people giving you tips for how you can "level up" and "hack" your life. I'm probably guilty on that one myself. But if you're feeling the way I have been feeling lately, then this episode is giving you permission to vent, let it out, confess the mortal sin of feeling fed up with self help, and be a real person.
In this episode I'm giving two examples of how your thinking impacts your ability to perform. I talk about the consequences on your body of holding loving and empowering thoughts versus fearful and scarce thoughts. And I challenge you to become more aware of the individual thoughts you choose to hold and replay in your mind that are influencing how you feel about yourself, others and life. Your thoughts have a huge impact on how you show up in life physically, emotionally, mentally, socially and spiritually. The conversations you have in your head, the beliefs you hold about yourself, others and life, all impact your ability to perform. My examples today both come from the local gym I'm a member of, and I think gyms are a great place to illustrate the power of your thinking. In a gym, when stress is being applied to our bodies, we are presented with fantastic circumstances to become aware of our thinking and to experience the consequences of those thoughts. If you hold negative, disempowering thoughts while you're body is under physical stress, you will most likely break under the pressure. In a gym this looks like not making it through an exercise, dropping the weights, screaming breathlessly. But when we hold empowering, loving thoughts, we're able to more easily tap into flow and stay in our power. If you haven't experienced it yourself then simply walk into a gym and observe the people around you. You will see many examples of people's minds dictating their output.
In today's episode I'm talking about how important it is that you periodically take time to acknowledge how far you've come in your personal growth journey. So frequently we are caught up in the pursuit of whatever it is that we're going after -- peace, joy, greatness, self mastery, personal development -- that we neglect to realize how far we've come. We spend our time thinking about how much further we have to go, and totally disregard the tremendous amount of healing and growing we had to do to get where we are today. I give you a couple of personal examples that I experienced very recently where I had an opportunity to recognize growth: one example with my wife and one example with both my wife and myself. If you're listening to this show then I can safely bet that you have been doing some sort of "work" on yourself. It will look different to different people, but I'm confident that one of your personal goals is to be a better person today (however you define better) than you were yesterday. I think that's great and love the fact that you're into self improvement. But I feel that self improvement needs to come with context and a point of reference in order to be truly appreciated, and to not simply become something that you're pursuing without knowing the end in mind. I share you with you stories and experiences in the hope that you will take something away from them that you can apply to your life. We're all connected, we all experience the same emotions with different catalysts, and in recording this episode I'm giving myself permission to stop and recognize my own healing and growth. Notes from this episode: The 7 Baby Steps in Dave Ramsey's Financial Peace My episode about Faith = Trust + Surrender
In today's quick fix I let you know why you need to learn to love and get excited about life's hardships --- Rough episode transcript --- If you’re listening to this podcast then I know that you’re into improving yourself and truly stepping into your badassness, and I can bet that you’ve been practicing. Maybe it’s meditating or journaling or being grateful or facing your fears or practicing humility. Whatever it is, this message for you. WHEN SHIT HITS THE FAN IN LIFE, WHICH HAPPENS AND WILL NEVER STOP HAPPENING UNTIL YOU’RE DEAD, YOU NEED TO BE PSYCHED ABOUT IT! Hear me out. You’ve been doing all of these things to improve yourself. You’ve been finding your strength, uncovering your gifts, revealing your mission and purpose. You’ve been practicing getting organized and being compassionate and having courage. You’ve been listening to podcasts and reading books and attending retreats and buying courses. All of these things have been your training, and none of it matters when life is going smoothly. When life is great and everything is working out in your favor and the tides are rising, you’re not asked to be courageous and humble and intelligent and mature. It’s only when shit goes south, when life smacks you in the face with circumstances, that your training is put to the test. So, you have to start relating to life’s circumstances as GAME TIME! Seriously. When you create a fender bender on the way to work, or your kitchen floods, or your kid does something dumb and gets arrested, or your baby won’t stop crying, or your partner is withholding love — THAT is when you will really get a chance to see how far you’ve come. It’s in those moments that all the reps you’ve put in reading and meditating and working on yourself matter. Because when you’re able to respond differently to a situation that you’ve responded to the same way your whole life, you’ve just won and you’ve stepped your game up just a little bit. So get excited when things go south, because it’s in these moments when you actually have an opportunity to grow. As I say all the time, HAVING IT ALL is about your relationship to life and what it serves up, so next time you’re presented with a circumstance that sucks, remember that’s it’s an opportunity to grow into a greater version of yourself. That’s it for today. Check out the show notes for this episode for links to the music. You can find them at Fireside Network.com. Keep the emails coming. I appreciate them. You can hit me up at mattcbivens@gmail.com. If you got something from today’s episode then I’d really appreciate a review on iTunes. Just search “Having it all” and you’ll find it. And I’m out!
In this episode I'm deep diving into the difference between agreement and understanding. Failing to grasp the difference between these two things can stop a conversation or relationship in its tracks. Seeking to understand someone or to be understood is world's different than wanting agreement. How is muddying the two impacting your relationships? --- Rough transcript --- So nod your head if you've been in a situation like this: You're sitting across from someone who holds a point of view that's completely opposite of yours. They believe XYZ is right and true, while you believe 123 is right and true. You go back and forth stating why you're right, why they're wrong, and trying your damn best to get them to understand, because once they understand you're convinced that they will agree with you! Alright, so AGREEMENT and UNDERSTANDING. This might sound like a simple topic, and it is, yet the implications of getting this wrong are huge. Confusing agreement and understanding can lead to serious breakdowns in relationships. It's often the breaking point in communication and it's worth exploring. I've talked extensively on this podcast about a family situation I'm experiencing right now, and I'm going to do it again because it's ripe with amazing examples of alignments and misalignments that I am learning from and you can learn from through me. This is what was happening with my sister. She wanted to do X with my dad and I felt more inspired by Y. We went back and forth for months, getting nowhere, and building up more frustration. Hope for a resolution was being lost because we were seeking Agreement. Then I shifted tactics. Feedback from Kemi: "Shut the hell up and just listen!" Took my blows on the next call. Didn't agree with what they were saying -- feelings are not facts -- but understanding was my goal, not agreement. So I worked on understanding them. ME: "Okay so what I'm hearing is that you were feeling like I was punishing you by not intentionally making you a part of Maya's life? I was withholding her from you, didn't introduce her to you over Christmas when you had the first chance to meet her, and you feel like I'm doing that to punish you (whether consciously or subconsciously)? DANA: "Yes, that's what I'm saying". How can I argue with her perception? That's how she feels. That's how she saw it. I didn't think I was doing that on purpose, but that was her experience and therefore her reality. I did not have to agree with her in order to understand her. Once I sought to understand her (and released the need for agreement), we were able to move forward because she felt heard and understood. Literally released all the tension in the conversation and diffused the whole convo when she said "Yes, I feel understood". There was nothing else to argue on. We could move forward. This is huge because so often the goal of a conversation is AGREEMENT. You can understand where someone is coming from without agreeing with their position. We also believe that the ability to move forward and carry on depends on agreements, but that's often not the case at all. It's critically important to understand the difference between these two because not understanding the difference will get you stuck. It is applicable for romantic relationships or business relationships, friendships, parenting -- everything. EXAMPLE: not agreeing on parenting styles. Sarah and I on opposite sides of Maya's sleep. Sarah wanted strict sleep schedule. I was more lenient. Around the holidays this came to a head when I wasn't respecting her desire for Maya to nap while at my mom's house. Understanding the environments we grew up in and the ways we were raised allowed us both to understand one another without having to agree. She's a little less strict, and I'm more scheduled. So be mindful of when you're seeking agreement and confusing it with understanding. Become more aware of when there's a breakdown of understanding that's impeding your ability to move forward. MOVE Practice seeking to understand someone, and release the need for agreement. If there's an active conflict in your life right now between you and another person, this is the place to practice. Especially if egos are flaring up. The more anxiety and discomfort you feel towards this person and conflict, the more crucial it is that you practice this with them. I also talk about understanding in the episode "How to help your loved ones feel understood", which a number of you have emailed me about. So check that one out as well. It's on iTunes, Stitcher, and on FireSideNetwork.com GRATITUDE Today’s gratitude goes to: DJ Quads and maxzwell for the music used in today’s episode (links to the tracks are in the show notes) Christie for the review on iTunes and Valerie for the email -- I truly appreciate the love in both forms! If you want to leave a review, itunes is the best way to do it......if you want to shoot me an email mattcbivens@gmail.com grateful to any listener who checked out the show for the first time. thats a risk and i truly hope you feel it paid off. time is one of those things we don't get back so you spending it with me is truly humbling. thank you. And with that, my name is Matthew Bivens HERE’S TO YOU HAVING IT ALL!
I 100% believe that you are a winner! I'm not talking about in the blow smoke up your ass self help type of way. You are winning at the games you're choosing to play in life. Some of us are playing the game of VICTIM, others are playing the game of being BROKE, others are playing the game of NOT VALUING THEMSELVES. What games are you winning at in life? ---- Rough Transcript ---- I watched the College Football National Championship game last night between Clemson and Alabama. Great game, had everything you want in sports: drama, great plays, last minute heroics. Half of the players and fans enjoyed the outcome of the game, half hated it. Reminded me that we are all winning at the games we're playing in life. Here are some common games that we play: Playing the game of being led by your emotions - There are much bigger games than your emotions. But when you don't see it that way, people show up in your life to ride the emotional roller coaster with you, or to turn that roller coaster into high gear. Playing the game of “I ain’t got no power, no influence, no voice, no impact” Playing the game of being an overworked mom Playing the game of being under-appreciated - People don’t value you. You don’t matter. YOU don’t value you. Playing the game of being the victim I’ve certainly won at that game. In my past, I’ve won at the game of “Life doesn’t want me to experience massive joy” I’ve won at the game of “You’re not smart enough, strong enough, clever enough, sexy enough to have the life you want” I’ve won at the game of “You will never experience the abundance that you seek” I’ve certainly won those games. But you know what, someone else can keep those trophies because I’m through with that! These days I’m playing different games: Playing the game of Self Mastery Playing the game of personal greatness Playing the game of positively impacting everyone you contact SO what games are YOU winning at? And are you enjoying the spoils of your triumphs? If not, why the hell are you still playing them?
In today's episode I'm giving you two new beliefs to wear on for when the stuff hits the fan in your life. If you've ever felt like life keeps dealing you a raw hand, that you keep on being served up trial after trial, and that the next challenge seems bigger than the last, then you want to pay attention! A while ago I was handed two new beliefs to try on for when circumstances arise. Beliefs are like t-shirts, you can try them on to see how they fit. Keep the ones that work for you and put them on again whenever you need them. Or discard them if they don't work for you. That's the great thing about beliefs, they are abundant! The things I'm talking about today will help you remain in your power when adversity comes your way. --- Rough Transcript --- This week I was presented with circumstances that trusted my Faith. Faith is TRUST + SURRENDER. My basement flooded, destroying some things I had stored down there, and knocking out my hot water. Not the worst situation in the world, but definitely something that I could at one time have made a big deal over. 2 beliefs I’ve adopted that help me deal with circumstances of all sizes: God, The Universe, whatever NEVER presents you with something you cannot handle. You’re equipped to handle everything that comes your way. it may not seem that way, it may hurt and you may cry and scream and curse, but if it’s presented to you that means you can handle it. Always. Never fails. Don’t believe me? Think about this: if you’re hearing my voice right now, listening to this podcast, that means that you’ve survived every single hardship that has come your way. No matter how insurmountable it seemed at the time. You made it. Today, in this present
You are always able to choose how you will respond to situations You may not be able to control what happens, but you can always control how you choose to respond.
The way I chose to relate to my circumstance absolutely impacted how it ended up. People went out of their way to fix our basement for us. They got us a hotel, came over after hours and stayed late into the night in the freezing temps to fix our issue. The situation was 100% impacted by how I chose to view and respond to the circumstance. It all comes down to your relationship to the circumstance and your response to the circumstance.
Bonus episode today. This episode is all about being intentional on how you want to experience 2017. It's about mindset and creating the context for how you will approach circumstances that come at you in the next year. It's probably the easiest activity you can do to get clear on how you'll have it all next year. I was getting my mind focused on 2017, who I wanted to be, what I wanted to experience, and what I wanted to create in the year, and it got me thinking about my word for the year. Last year my word was "Creation" and I did a whole lot of that during the year. My wife and I created life and welcomed our daughter Maya in September. I created multiple businesses and products. I launched 2 podcasts - this show and Doing It At Home (my home birth podcast with my wife). I created new friends and created new experiences with old friends. I also created countless opportunities to practice humility, surrender, and patience. This year my word -- well actually my phrase -- is BEAST MODE. To me that means being bold, courageous, fearless and loving. It's the mindset I will have as I step into the fire and uncomfortable circumstances. It's the person I will be in the most important roles in my life. It's how I'll approach business and creating new opportunities. So what is your word for 2017? Email me at mattcbivens@gmail.com and tell me your word. Or use the contact form on www.MatthewBivens.com. The theme music from this episode is called Love by maxzwell - https://soundcloud.com/maxzwell/love
Today we're talking about new year resolutions and why so many of us fail at keeping them going year after year. I look at the statistics behind new years resolution failure, the most common resolutions set each year, and explore some reasons why they fail and tips to avoid failure. I also share an interesting psychological angle into why we don't succeed with our resolutions. But all of this is overshadowed by the #1 reason why we fail to accomplish our new years resolutions, which I share at the end. It's 2 days before the new year, and I want to talk about NEW YEARS RESOLUTIONS. I've got some statistics and psychology in this episode, and I'll link to all of the resources that I used in the show notes on Fireside Network. What you'll hear in today's episode: The research on New Years Resolutions and why they fail An interesting psychological phenomena that could be hurting your chances of succeeding with your resolutions My #1 reason why resolutions fail, and what to do about it Rough Episode Transcription RESEARCH 50% of people set resolutions 25% abandoned by end of first week By the end of the year, only 8% of people will have kept their new years resolutions. Many people make the same resolutions year after year (some up to 10x, the ones who succeed normally have tried 6x) Top resolutions: exercise more lose weight Quit smoking get out of debt. manage money better Common reasons for failure include: Setting too many Getting derailed by small failures Setting overly ambitious goals (will be 100% debt free) Overly restrictive goals (will eat zero sugar this year) Thinking you can change more quickly, more easily, or more # (amount) than is the reality — amount/speed/ease Tips from the Psychology Today article "Why New Years Resolutions Fail" : Focus on one resolution, rather several; Set realistic, specific goals. Losing weight is not a specific goal. Losing 10 pounds in 90 days would be; Don't wait till New Year's eve to make resolutions. Make it a year long process, every day; Take small steps. Many people quit because the goal is too big requiring too big a step all at once; Have an accountability buddy, someone close to you that you have to report to; Celebrate your success between milestones. Don't wait the goal to be finally completed; Focus your thinking on new behaviors and thought patterns. You have to create new neural pathways in your brain to change habits; Focus on the present. What's the one thing you can do today, right now, towards your goal? Be mindful. Become physically, emotionally and mentally aware of your inner state as each external event happens,moment by moment, rather than living in the past or future. AFFECTIVE FORECASTING. Psychological angle: Because resolutions are typically about things that we haven’t been able to achieve during the year, we end up feeling gratified simply by thinking about doing them. The intention satisfies us in that moment, and we like that because we don’t have to actually go out and do anything. It’s called AFFECTIVE FORECASTING. It makes sense because when you make a resolution, you feel great about it in that moment, you feel excited about the new you that will be a reality by the end of the year, and you predict that you’ll feel the same great feelings about the resolution in the future. But when you finally get into action it doesn’t feel as great as you had predicted, and so you put it off. #1 REASON FOR FAILURE Big reasons for failure: YOUR WHY IS TOO SMALL! You are not ready to make a change. You set resolutions because other people set resolutions. It’s what you do before the new year. But you are very attached to the habits (actions, thoughts, relationships) that have gotten you to where you are today, and you are unwilling to release those attachments. So you get started on the resolution, things go well for a few weeks, then your attachments are really tested, and you fall back on the habits that you’ve put in work to form. And the cycle repeats itself. You also start and stop because they don't have a big enough Why. What is the big Why that's inspiring you to wake up and get going each day? What bigger purpose are you serving? Is it big enough to weather the storms of apathy? Is your why more appealing than sitting on the couch? That's it's biggest competition! Is your why big enough to keep burning through life circumstances? If your why was a flame, how big would that flame be? Going through Mission Statement process right now. Examining my beliefs, aka values, what they mean to me, my gifts, talents and passions, looking at my environments and what abundance means and feels like to me. The end result will be a Mission Statement, a bigger WHY, my North Star. MOVE Get clear on your big WHY and turn it into a Personal Mission Statement. There are many ways to do it, and I absolutely recommend working with someone who has experience crafting powerful Mission Statements. But here's the thing: simply spending 10 minutes thinking about your why and composing a simple mission statement will empower you. Specific actions this week: Spend 10 minutes thinking about and writing down your big WHY. 5 minutes thinking about it. 5 minutes turning it into a powerful, single sentence
Will fuel your New Years Resolution motivation, but will also act as your North Star when dealing with life circumstances in general. Many different types of ways to write your WHY. I've included the versions of my personal mission statement in the show notes so you can see a few examples. GRATITUDE Today’s gratitude goes to: iTunes reviewers. Joey Pecoraro and maxzwell for the music used in today’s episode (links to the tracks are in the show notes) 2016 thank you to all of your for listening And with that, my name is Matthew Bivens HERE’S TO YOU HAVING IT ALL!
In today's episode I'm talking about the consequences of brutal honesty. There can be a tremendous amount of fear and anxiety associated with honesty, despite the freeing impact that complete honesty can have on ourselves and in our relationships. This episode was inspired by an article I read titled "The Pros And Cons Of Brutal Honesty". The following quote from the article sets up this episode perfectly: "People that stop growing are individuals who decide they can no longer handle brutal honesty. " I believe part of what it means to love someone unconditionally - yourself included - is being honest with them. Honest with how they are showing up, your feelings towards them, how you experience them, what you'd like to experience with them, what you see for them, the impact they have on your life. This show is about rewriting beliefs, moving through fears, discovering your truth, and viewing life through a lens of abundance and love -- and getting there, for most of us, takes growth. What you'll hear in this episode: The common consequences, both welcomed and not, of being brutally honest My experience with being deceptive and opaque in relationships A great free tool to help you practice honesty with yourself
In this episode I share an incredibly simple yet profoundly effective technique for helping your loved ones feel more understood by you. Taking nods from Stephen Covey's book "The 7 Habits Of Highly Effective People", I break down the process of empathic listening and share a personal story of how a recent family therapy session led to a breakthrough in understanding. As Ralph Nichols put it “The most basic of all human needs is the need to understand and be understood. The best way to understand people is to listen to them.” Today’s episode kicks off a brand new season of the Having It A.L.L. podcast! On this episode I’m sharing one profound lesson and breakthrough stemming from a family therapy conference call I attended this past week with my sisters and father. I’m getting very personal on this episode because I believe that so many people can relate to the situation my family is experiencing right now, and because transparency is a key value of mine for this show, I’m sharing my insights with you all. But before I get into the meat I’m going over all the amazing things you can expect in Season 2 of the podcast! From new music to new production to new segments, I’ve made some changes that will help you continue to create a life of abundance and love. In the new segment called MOVE I’m giving you one concrete action item to take away from the episode. You're listening to this show because you want massive results in your life. Not because you want to feel an ounce more clarity, self love, confidence, courage, peace, but because you want a whole ocean full of it! That type of shift only happens when you take massive action, and MOVE is all about you getting into massive action to create a new result or experience in life. The second new segment is called GRATITUDE. Gratitude is the key component to experiencing life as abundant and loving (remember, the A.L.L. in the show’s title stands for Abundant Loving Life). In GRATITUDE I’m recognizing the people who made the episode possible, along with giving credit to the insanely talented musicians who provide the music for the episode. Overall, Season 2 is turning up the authenticity, rawness, and value, and I cannot wait to get rolling!
In today’s episode I’m talking with Dr. Tiffany Stewart on living life on your own terms and using visualization and goal setting to create the life you want to live.
Remember in grade school when we wanted to be excused from class to go to the bathroom, what did we need to make that happen? A permission slip! Well, somewhere between then and adulthood many of us neglected to drop that belief when it came to living our most joyful and authentic lives! We believe that permission is needed to create a life that we are passionate to live. My guest today has built her career off of rescripting that belief and helping people create the life that they want. Dr. Tiffany Stewart. Tiffany is a mother, coach, professor, counselor, businesswoman and speaker. Her passion is to help individuals who may be stuck in some area of life, tap into their power and give themselves permission to step into their purpose and create the life they want to live. What you'll hear in this episode:What you'll hear in this episode:
Tiffany’s story of rewriting the beliefs of her childhood
How to flip the script on the “imposter syndrome”
5 questions to ask yourself to find your purpose
In today's episode I'm going in with Anthony Strayhorn on his Epic Challenge - an area of his life where he is feeling stuck, frustrated, confused and unable to make a change. We’re getting personal, we’re getting real, and we’re playing for breakthroughs! Anthony's Epic Challenge is about learning how to toe the line between consideration and courage with his clients. He is a personal fitness coach and works with people who are looking to shift their fitness, lifestyle and consciousness. Anthony is looking to tap into his compassion more, but not at the expense of tough love. It's the balance of these two things he's striving for. No small feat. But that's why it's called an EPIC Challenge afterall! Once again, some of the things we discuss in this episode may not be for young ears so you may want to vet this one before letting the kiddos listen. What you’ll hear in this episode: Anthony gets honest on his current Epic Challenge and why he’s sought feedback The real feelings and emotions that come up when you give someone feedback they may not want to hear How to juggle between coming from the mind and heart
In today's episode I talk to Jake Heilbrunn about his inspiring story of dropping out of college to go on a soul searching journey through Central America, all captured in his new book "Off The Beaten Trail". This self discovery journey gave Jake the opportunity to overcome fears, expand his perspective, and inspire himself to do (and be) things he didn't think possible. Not only is the book itself an example of intention at work, but also the way that Jake sought out funding and endorsements. Jake is also a speaker who uses his story to inspire people to follow their intuition and believe in their own greatness. What you’ll hear in this episode: Jake’s amazing story of his solo backpacking journey through Central America Embracing fear and moving through it to accomplish your goals Simple ways to practice gratitude and abundance
In this episode I'm talking all about Gratitude. I'm giving you 7 things you probably haven't heard before about gratitude. We're talking about gratitude in your personal finances, tools for helping you form a gratitude habit, how gratitude can improve your relationships, the power of gratitude to totally flip your mood, how we feel more gratitude for experiences rather than things, and why gratitude in conflict is more powerful than forgiveness or acceptance. I used a few resources to create the list for this episode and I'm going to post them all in the show notes at www.FiresideNetwork.com. Just go there, select this show from the Shows list, and click on today's episode. If you have some tips, thoughts or stories on gratitude, I'd love to hear them. Reach me on my personal email address at mattcbivens@gmail.com. I'd particularly love to hear how you've cultivated a regular gratitude habit into your life. If you send me your tips I'll do a follow up to this episode where I share them on air.
In this episode I tear apart the concept of “work-life balance” and explain why it’s dangerous, leads to unhealthy living, and why we have to replace it with a healthy and sustainable construct. We’re all familiar with the idea of work-life balance. It’s a phrase and concept we’ve been fed for years. But have you really thought about the implications? What the phrase implies? And have you been able to create a work-life balance in your life for a significant period of time, and kept it going?! I consider myself a student of balance. Truly, it’s something that when I realized I needed I got into action (both on the doing AND being side), to create a healthier balance of all things important in my life. For the past almost 4 years I’ve been playing a health and fitness game called the YourDay Balance Game (yup, “balance” is in the title!). I’ve tried different tools and trackers and systems to create balance, and I’ve discovered some powerful things about the concept of “work-life” balance that I want to reveal on this episode. What you’ll hear in this episode: Why we must do away with work-life balance as we know it A much more powerful construct of balance that’s holistic, realistic and sustainable An amazing tool to create meaningful and lasting balance in your life
It’s Epic Challenge time again! That means I’m going in with my guest on the area of their life where they are feeling stuck, frustrated, confused and unable to make a change. We’re getting personal, we’re getting real, and we’re playing for breakthroughs! This week I’m joined by Kelly Lynn Prime. Kelly’s Epic Challenge is about releasing self judgement, shifting the conversation of the inner critic, and surrendering to unconditional love. No small feat. But that's why it's called an EPIC Challenge afterall! Once again, some of the things we discuss in this episode may not be for young ears so you may want to vet this one before letting the kiddos listen. What you’ll hear in this episode: Kelly get honest on her current Epic Challenge and why she’s sought feedback The lenses through which Kelly sees and relates to herself Methods of deflection used to avoid addressing the Epic Challenge Raw and honest feedback Kelly received from her community on her Epic Challenge, and how she received it
I’ve talked about facing fears a number of times on this show. Most people who have a "self help" type of show probably talk a lot of about fears. And for great reason: Fears keep us from experiencing LOVE in life. You can boil your decisions down to a choice between fear and love, and that includes your decision on how and who to BE in life. So yes, fear is worth talking about! Today I’m sharing with you a powerful new way to look at your fears, and what it takes to overcome them, that gave me one of those "mind = blown" moments when it was told to me. This new paradigm around overcoming fears was shared with me by my coach, Day Adeogba, and has completely shifted how I think about and step into fears in my own life. Chew on this: “Fear is like butter, and courage is like fire.” What does this mean? Well, I’m unpacking this powerful statement in today’s episode. What you’ll hear in the episode. The meaning of the phrase “Fear is like butter, and courage is like fire”. A very personal example of me applying that wisdom How to truly dissolve fears (and not repeat them)
This episode was inspired by a conversation I had with my father. Like many topics I cover in this podcast, my own life is the testing ground where I attempt to choose LOVE over FEAR, and share with you the things I've learned. Today I'm talking about the importance of knowing what your center is - the lens through which you see the world and relationship that shapes your values, thoughts and behaviors. There are many different centers you can have. You can be Spouse centered, Money centered, Family centered, Work centered, Possession centered, Pleasure centered, and more. Each of these centers has a consequence. The person who is Spouse centered, for example, feels secure when their spouse treats them well, and insecure when they don't. The person who is Money centered derives their sense of self worth from their net work. Each center carries with it a way of looking at and relating to the world. As you can see by now, these centers are incredibly important because they shape how we see the world. Quick note: the centers I'm referring to come straight from Stephen Covey's book The 7 Habits Of Highly Effective People. In this podcast episode I share with you a consequence of being Family centered, and how relationships hinge on not only knowing your loved ones center, but also understanding how those centers shape how they perceive the world and how they prefer to be treated. What you'll hear in this episode: A breakdown of the consequences of being Family centered The 5 Love Languages The importance of knowing not only your center and your Love Language, but that of the people closest to you
The self improvement game is, many times, a public one. Spiritual, physical, mental and emotional self work can all be done in the open or with a group of people. And with group meditation and yoga and other similar things really taking off these days, one could buy into the idea that self improvement is a public act. But there's something so much more important than the things we're DOING to improve our relationship to our selves, others and life, and that's who we're BEING. I've talked about Doing vs Being on the podcast before, but today's topic takes it a degree further. Today I'm going in on the question: Who are you when no one is watching? So, I ask YOU -- when you're alone, in your secrecy, with no one watching and no one holding you accountable except for yourself, who are you? How do you treat yourself? What allowances do you give yourself? What language do you use to describe yourself and those around you? The way you answer those questions reveals more about your true state of being than other more outward displays of wellness. It's said that you have between 40,000 - 60,000 thoughts per day. If you were to categorize each as a LOVING thought or FEARFUL thought, what would your ratio be? What you'll hear in this episode: How my secret self was exposed recently, and the consequences of my seeing the truth The self talk that contributes to us playing small The costs of not doing what you say you will do
On today’s episode we explore another EPIC CHALLENGE! This time I’m sitting down with my great friend Sandy Chambers as we explore her current challenge: Who do I need to be to feel powerful, healthy and light in my body, and graduate to the Intermediate playing field in the YourDay Balance Game*? Sandy holds nothing back as she shares why she considers this challenge EPIC, the feedback she received about how she can power through her epic challenge, and the actions she has taken to heal and grow. Some of the things we discuss in this episode may not be for young ears. We talk about some grown folks stuff here! The YourDay Balance Game is a world class health and fitness game that is governed by balance and love. The YourDay Balance Game (YDBG) has three dimensions (Fitness, Lifestyle and Consciousness) and each of these three dimensions can be measured (through the Gameday, Balance Chart and COI respectively). The fitness assessment (Gameday) measures body composition, strength, endurance and flexibility. There are 5 levels in the Gameday (Beginner, Intermediate, Advanced, Pro and All Star) with the requirements and exercises in each growing in difficulty as you progress. Sandy is currently a Beginner player in her Gameday, and a major part of her current Epic Challenge is who she needs to be to graduate to the Intermediate level. What you’ll hear in this episode: Sandy open up on her current Epic Challenge and why she’s sought feedback The three major areas to address in order to move through the challenge Some very intentional and powerful actions Sandy has gotten into to create a new experience for herself
There’s a fundamental belief that separates the people who feel like they have it all from the people who don’t, and that’s the belief that you have the power to CHOOSE. It’s all about CHOICE. That’s the difference maker. People who feel in their heart and soul that they have it all, have made a conscious choice to feel that way. They’ve literally decided that they can have it all in life, and subsequent choices aligned with the core belief. My guest today is a powerful example and evangelist of that belief! Heather Gray’s business name says it all: Choose To Have It All. Sounds sort of familiar, huh? Heather is an executive coach, working with entrepreneurs and business leaders who have achieved that EXTERNAL success - you know, the great career, fat bank account, titles behind their name, but that success has come at the expense of their internal well being. What Heather does is she helps them have the lifestyle and wealth that they want, but also the personal fulfillment that they truly desire. If you’ve read Stephen Covey’s landmark book The 7 Habits Of Highly Effective People, then you may remember that Habit #1 is “Be Proactive”, and that the essence of that habit (the major takeaway) is CHOICE. Proactive people are aware of their ability to choose: choose their response to circumstances, choose their relationship to themselves, others and life, and choose their level of joy and peace in life. That’s the recurring theme in my conversation with Heather. What you’ll hear in this episode: How to tap into your previous experience to find strength and add to your personal toolbox Why you sometimes have to “embrace the suck” in order to move forward How to show compassion and empathy in the face of someone else’s struggle
Today's podcast was inspired by an email I received from a listener. Her situation is something that I think many of us can relate to, and it has to do with RELATIONSHIPS. Situation: you're in a relationship, it ends for whatever reason, you feel hurt/betrayed/wronged, you do some soul searching, learn a few things about yourself, seek out and find a new relationship, get hurt/betrayed/wronged all over again, and wonder "Why this keeps on happening to me" Sound familiar? I'm proposing that you don't need to do more soul searching, meditating, or any of that stuff. What you need to do is develop relationship standards where you get crystal clear on the type of person you will ALLOW into your life (or your bed!) and stick to your damn standards! The less than healthy relationships you have are due to a lack of accountability and STANDARDS around them. What you'll hear in this episode: Why creating relationship standards is only half of the equation How creating standards can help you manifest the person who will uphold those standards A simple process to get you started on creating your relationship standards
This episode is all about FAITH, but not in the most widely used sense. I’m talking about having supreme confidence and trust in someone or something. I look at faith like this: FAITH = TRUST + SURRENDER. On Sunday September 11th, Sarah and I welcomed the birth of our daughter Maya. Through that experience I both witnessed and practiced the most humbling amount of trust and surrender that I have in my life thus far. Sarah surrendered to her body, to the labor waves, to her coaches. I trusted in our preparation, in the team we assembled, and in my ability to support. Witnessing what I can only describe as pure faith on the parts of everyone involved, I began to think about the other areas in my life where my personal faith is lacking. Where I’m failing to trust someone or something, and where I’m fighting for control rather than surrendering. This episode is all about faith, trust and surrender. I briefly talk about Maya’s birth experience, but spend the bulk of the episode diving into what it looks and feels like when we lack faith in our lives. What you’ll hear in this episode:
A powerful recontextualization of faith that you can apply to your life
Examples of what lacking faith, trust and surrender look and feel like
A call for you to examine what processes you’re hindering through your lack of faith
Since January 2014 my wife and I have been a part of a weekly accountability group called a Circle Of Influence (COI). A standard part of each COI meeting is to cover one person’s Epic Challenge. Through sitting in dozens and dozens of Epic Challenges (some of them my own), over the past 2.5 years, I’ve experience just how transformational of a process it can be when a person is willing to explore a stuck area in their lives, open to receiving feedback that’s coming from a loving and honest place, and willing to act (or not) on the feedback to impact their growth. I wanted to bring the power of the Epic Challenge to more people, and that inspired this brand new series in the podcast where we will be diving into people’s Epic Challenges! First up is Larry Nichols. Larry is a great friend of mine and a true source of inspiration for me and many others. He has an incredibly big heart and does not hold back on pouring love into everyone he meets, from lifelong friends to strangers on an airplane. He’s just one of those people with an infectious smile that makes you think, “Why is this man so happy??” In this episode Larry talks with me about his current Epic Challenge, which centers on two things: how his current work aligns with his passions, and his ability to maintain his personal integrity in everything he does. Larry’s challenge is incredibly relatable to anyone who has questioned their job or the business they are in, and who has searched for meaning behind the work they do. What you’ll hear in this episode: Larry and I dive into his Epic Challenge to uncover the root of where he’s stuck The feedback Larry received around his Epic Challenge that helped him get unstuck Actions that Larry has taken to create a new experience for himself
You've probably heard sayings like"What you think you become." (Buddha) and "What you focus on expands." (T. Harv Eker). They are great and make for awesome social media quotes and refrigerator magnets. But I think the fact that they are used (perhaps overused today) so much has watered down the impact of the message. The things that we choose to focus our time, energy, thoughts and resources on, grow and multiply and become more real for us. We can all conjure up examples of this in our lives. It doesn't take much mental effort to do. But I know that for at least myself, I don't take it to heart enough, and I wonder why it may be hard to shake feelings of frustration, sadness or resentment. It's because I'm focusing on them, instead of the amazing things in life! This episode was inspired by an Epic Challenge that a friend of mine brought into our accountability group and received feedback on. Part of her feedback was that "the things you focus on expand", and it hit me in a powerful way because of the place that I was in at the time. In this episode I talk about the Epic Challenge feedback, discuss examples of things that I've been focusing on that have expanded in my world, and provide some solutions for creating and experiencing more great moments and less sad moments. What you'll learn in this episode: How to experience more great things in life through focus 9 simple actions to help you form a gratitude habit
This past week was riddled with examples (both personally and with folks I'm close to) of people who were so caught up in their own bull*. What am I talking about specifically? I'm talking about the stories that we tell ourselves about who we're being or how we're behaving, that only serve to protect our egos and end up hurting us in the long run. We all have done it, and I'll venture to say we're all doing it in some way right now. But doing so can prevent us from growing and healing, and living in a perpetual state of denial and delusion is absolutely not healthy. And it's not how we can have it all! So his episode is all about us — you, me, everyone — recognizing when we’re bulling ourselves into believing something that’s not true, and cutting that crap out. Please note, this episode has some colorful language in it, so you may not want to listen to it with kids around or on a loud speaker in church. I'm just saying. What you'll learn in this episode: 4 examples of people being caught up in the bs stories they tell, and how it impacted them The effects of remaining in your bs How to finally see the bs for what it is and emerge from it
By now you might have heard of the Tony Robbins documentary “I am not your guru”. It’s been making its way around Netflix and the internet. If you haven’t seen it, I recommend you give it a watch! Well, I checked it out the other day and can honestly say that few other documentaries have inspired me as much as this one. It wasn’t Tony Robbins who inspired me. I love his approach to personal transformation. I love how raw and real he is. I love his boldness and that he’s not afraid to call people on their bullshit. All of that makes for some compelling tv! But no, it wasn’t Tony who inspired me. Instead, I was inspired by the people in the documentary who recognized their opportunity for breakthrough, and boldly stepped into it. This happens a handful of times in the documentary, and each time it’s amazing to watch them process the situation, become aware of their breakthrough moment, analyze the risk/reward, confront the terror that comes up, and take ACTION! This episode is about what it really takes to experience a breakthrough in your life. To get unstuck. To start experiencing things in a dramatically different way. It takes action. It takes movement. It takes getting out of your head and getting into your heart and doing something that you know to be the best move for you, but scares you shitless.
You know that voice in your head, that tells you just what you need to hear so that you shrink back, play small, succumb to fear. Yeah, you do?! Well, so does my guest on today's podcast. Aaron Anastasi has quite the resume of accomplishments and experiences in his life: He’s an artist and singer with an insanely popular Youtube channel that has over 11.5 million views and 130k subscribers He’s a serial entrepreneur with a number of internationally recognized businesses, including the Superior Singing Method He’s a success coach and author, recently publishing his new book, The Voice Of Your Dreams. He has a master's from Princeton Theological Seminary, and is known to shred down mountains in Colorado and scale glaciers in Bolivia. Aaron still has his inner voice, but it's whispering different things to him now. In our conversation Aaron and I talk about limiting voices, shifting beliefs to shift results, abundance and the power of sexual intimacy for creativity. What you’ll learn in this episode: The difference between BEING and DOING How to quiet your limiting inner voices The single question that ignited a guttural brushfire within Aaron
Yup, this is a very loaded title. But here's the thing: everything my guest talk about are pieces for a massively awesome life. The tools, practices, mindsets and beliefs she shares, when practiced regularly and with intention, will absolutely set you up for a massively awesome life. Honoree has chosen powerful mentors to help equip her tool belt for life's curveballs. Read the episode notes for this one, there's a lot in there. If you haven't heard of people like Napoleon Hill, Tony Robbins and Hal Elrod, then go check them out. Click the links or Google search them yourself, and see if their messages resonate. They've surely helped millions of people get out of their head and get into living! So this episode is not about giving you a formula or template. Quite frankly I don't think they exist and I caution any person or source that claims to have the answer. But what Honoree does is give you incredibly powerful tools and beliefs that you can use and try on for yourself, to help you experience life in its full awesomeness! Things you’ll learn in this episode: What it means to be “mentally in debt” Powerful questions to ask when you’re going through life’s stuff Amazing morning/daily rituals to reduce stress, increase productivity and empower your day
This is part 3 in my series where I'm breaking down the meaning of A.L.L. - Abundant Loving Life, and where I'm sharing my framework for having it all. In the A.L.L. framework, I've chosen to focus on what I think are 6 key areas of life: Faith, Family, Friends, Fitness, Finance, and Fun. Faith: belief in something bigger than you; believing in something you don't understand. Not talking about religion specifically. You can have FAITH and not consider yourself religious. That's how I feel about myself. Family: the people in your innermost circle.
Think of the symbol for Target (dot, circle, circle). The dot is family. Circle 1 is inner friends. Circle 2 is outer friends/acquaintances.
Not always blood.
Listen to my convo with Robert Monroe, and he'll shift how you think about family (Robert was orphaned at age 12, but knows he has a large, loving family, including multiple mothers and fathers)
Includes romantic partners as well (spouse, significant other)
Friends: the people who are in your inner circle. Your personal tribe.
There to support you; see the greatness in you.
Tell it like it is; tell the uncomfortable truth.
Have your back; will defend and stand up for you.
However else you define friends.
Fitness: your health.
Is your body in a state of DETOX or INTOX?
Are you treating your body with kindness?
Being mindful of what you put in your body: food, drink, information, environments, people/conversations
Your ability to heal (HEAL is the root of HEALTH)
LIFEstyle versus DIEt
Finance: your ability to generate what you need to live the life you want
Not talking about being wealthy, although that is the goal of many
Are you living within your means?
What is your relationship like to your finances?
For many years, and still to this day, my relationship to my personal finances has been up and down. At times I feel great about my finances, confident, in control, knowledgable, following a plan -- abundant. Other times I feel lost, without a plan, lacking knowledge -- scarce.
Your quality of life improves as your finances improve, to a point. At around $75,000 per year it rounds off, and then more money doesn't mean more peace, happiness or emotional health. It can actually go down.
It's not about how much you make or spend, it's about your relationship to it all.
Fun: your ability to let your inner kid out, laugh, let go, and enjoy life.
This is where I personally thrive!
Fun means different things to different people. YOU define what fun is for you.
Many of us are not regularly making time for fun. It happens only on the weekends, or maybe even only on vacations. Otherwise we're hustling and working and just surviving.
Plenty of studies out there to support the importance of FUN, so I won't get into that.
You can survive without fun, but I argue that you cannot THRIVE without it!
Measurements (Accountability) on the 6 F's Faith - 10 couple meditations/prayers Family - 15-20 family dinners, 10 family playtimes Friends - 4 couple outings Fitness - Regular weekly exercise, join a running group or fitness class. commit to doing a few small fitness things each day. Finance - Enrolilng in Financial Peace and going through the 7 Baby Steps Fun - 1 vacation out of country, 1 vacation in states
Today’s guest is a father to three daughters, a husband to a beautiful wife, friend to myself and so many others, and an economist by profession. His name is Robert Monroe, and if you met him in person, the first thing you’d probably notice is his smile. He’s got one of those ear to ear smiles that tends to come with a hearty laugh and come from a place of joy. But behind the smile is a man who has been some incredibly trying times in his life. At a young age Robert was orphaned and learned some brutal lessons about life. But his smile never faded. I’m incredibly honored to bring you this conversation with Robert, where we talk about life, family, parenthood, and much more. What you’ll learn in this episode: A powerful metaphor for viewing your life as a masterpiece How to create momentum and velocity in your life An inspiring definition of "family"
I truly believe that your relationships are the most important factor to your health (and I'm not talking about relationships in the way you might be thinking). This episode will get you thinking. What you’ll learn in this episode: The types of relationships that take away from your health How to reframe “stress” so you regain your power A simple process for relating more powerfully to any circumstance
There is a theme on this show that comes up in a number of episodes: Breakdowns lead to Breakthroughs. My guest on today’s podcast knows all about this. Ruby Fremon has had her breakdowns in life. She knows what it feels like to hit the proverbial rock bottom. Her story has many familiar elements: destructive relationship, substance abuse, self hate. But what makes Ruby unique is in her response to these life circumstances. Now, after years of learning what “self love” means, Ruby can say with a smile that she is absolutely love life, and has made it her mission to help others do the same. Ruby is a coach, catalyst and ignitor, helping people bust down their limiting beliefs, conquer their biggest fears, and get unstuck. She is a firm believer that you can have it all in life without sacrificing a thing (so you can see why we get along so well!) What you’ll hear in this episode: How to rewrite the “Why me” script The importance of choosing healthy environments How to get started on “self love” immediately
This episode was inspired by an article titled “The one sentence that finally inspired me to lose 70 pounds”. I read that and thought to myself, “I want to know that one thing!!!” Not because I feel I need to lose 70 pounds, but because anytime someone claims to know the one thing/secret/habit I really want to hear it. So I checked it out….and liked what I read! But the point of the article made me think about my one thing and about a topic that I address regularly on this show --- personal mission statements. What you’ll learn in this episode: Why you might have a hard time getting back on track when you fall off How to keep momentum on your goals in life How the “one thing” from the MBG article ties into your personal mission statement
I’ve met some very cool people through this podcast. Typically, I’m inspired to have them on the show because of their work or the message they are pushing out to the world. I’ll see their TED talk, or read one of their powerful blog posts, or hear them in an inspiring interview. Something like that. My guest today impressed me for a totally different reason. I met Matt Giovanisci through Facebook. He posted a link to a webpage he created with the sole purpose of getting himself booked on podcasts. I thought it was incredibly creative. Check it out here: http://www.moneylab.co/guest/ He made this web page, loaded it with tons of unique and funny information about why he'd make a great podcast guest, and put his contact info I loved his approach and humor, and thought "What the heck? I have him on the show". And that's what happened! Matt makes a living by being creative online. He's hosted a few podcasts, created some profitable online brands, produced some hilarious rap videos, and overall has been able to turn his passions into revenue streams that allow him to LIVE THE DREAM. Matt and I talk about creativity, being original, and going against the herd. What you’ll learn in this episode: Why best practices are not meant to be followed A simple formula for getting started with your own creative endeavor Matt’s take on “having it all”
Continuing our series on the Having It A.L.L. framework, today's episode is all about LOVE. I have a special guest on this episode with me today, one perfectly suited to chat with me about love. In this conversation you'll learn: The difference between conditional and unconditional love Where love falls in David R. Hawkin's "Scale Of Consciousness" The distinction between attachment and connection when it comes to love
Yeah, this episode has a pretty bold title. But bold men are deserving of bold titles.
I’ve been inspired by Bill Jamison since meeting him 3 years ago. What Bill has that made me want to record a conversation with him, is this amazing ability to surrender to what he does not know, trust in himself and the process, lead his life with purpose and conviction, love and give with all of his heart, and be an example of what a powerful 21st century man is all about.
That’s someone who I want to talk to!
I’ve always been inspired by the genius men and women who were able to take a concept such as love, or effectiveness or even personal finance, and find the patterns within them that can allow ordinary mortals like you and I to tap into and experience these things fully. Well before I had a podcast called Having It A.L.L., I had an idea about what “having it all” meant to me, and I witnessed much passion, anger, conviction, judgement, confusion and frustration around the topic. I knew there was something there worth exploring, and I had the time and curiosity to do it. I set out to create a framework for what having it all meant to me, so that I would be able to (from the most objective place possible), declare whether or not I felt that I had it all in life at that particular moment. In this episode, and for the next several weeks, I’m exploring the framework that I developed thanks to my curiosity, experimentation, mentoring, researching and reflection. Today’s episode is about ABUNDANCE and what that word truly means.What you’ll learn in this episode: A simple way to look at abundance The key factor that you must have in order to experience abundance 1 simple tip to experience more abundance in your life
I have the pleasure of knowing some pretty amazing people where I live in Atlanta, and my guest today is one of them. Her name is Kemi Bennings, and the best way to describe her is as a creative, loving, spiritual being who is always learning and always growing. Kemi is a woman of many gifts and has worn many hats over the years: writer, poet, producer, lifecoach, nurse, entrepreneur, promoter, curator …. Kemi truly is an artist and is involved in any and all things artistic. But at her core, Kemi is a vessel testing the bounds of what it looks like to be a spiritual being having a human experience. In this episode we talk about gifts, fear, and what it means to fully tap into the creator in each of us. What you'll learn in this episode: The question that continues to ignite Kemi's fire The meaning of "follow the arrows" Some amazing original poetry written and performed by Kemi
What does having it all mean to you? It’s a question that I ask all of the guests I have on the show, and it’s a question to which I’ve never heard the exact same answer twice. I started this podcast partly because of the polarizing nature of that question. On one side you have people who believe that you can have it all, and who are quick to give their version of what it looks like. On the other side you have people who vehemently argue that having it all is not possible and that saying you can have it all is irresponsible. Just do a quick google search of the phrase and you’ll see all sorts of results that paint the question in a light or dark tone. I’ve thought about that question for a number of years, and as I put together the bones of this show I decided that I wanted to create a framework around my belief about having it all. Pulling from personal resources for effectiveness, love and peace, as well as consulting with a number of trusted advisors and mentors, I developed a framework for having it all that allows me to, as objectively as possible, determine whether I truly have it all in my life. In this episode I dive into that framework, breaking down the meaning behind A.L.L. - Abundant Loving Life. I open up my toolbox for having it all and introduce concepts that I will dig into deeper in future episodes. What you’ll learn in this episode: The meaning behind Abundant Loving Life The 6 F’s along with a powerful way to view and relate to each 6 powerful tools for creating an abundant loving life
What the heck is “otherness”? I know I had that question swirling in my mind when I was doing my research on my next guest. This concept of “otherness”, described in the way that my guest described it, was not framed in a way I was accustomed. But what I learned in my conversation with Dale Thomas Vaughn was that otherness is rooted in fear, and fear is not the path to greatness. I’m sounding like Yoda now, but I firmly believe that! Dale Thomas Vaughn is a Renaissance Man, in the most pure sense of the word. He is a man of balance, purpose and sophistication, all of which we get into in our conversation. Dale helps men rescript their beliefs of what it means to be masculine. Through his books, lectures, workshops and organizations, he is helping men discover their purpose so they can live more joyful and fulfilled lives. Not a small undertaking. Dale’s personal relationship to love and loving himself has been a journey that has literally taken him around the world. Love fuels his big WHY, and it’s at the core of who Dale is as a man. This conversation was particularly powerful for me because I had an opportunity to examine beliefs I had around balance (a topic that comes up in the episode), as well as an opportunity to practice humility. I talked about that in last week’s episode. Dale is extremely intelligent and has clearly put in the reps to become an expert on the subject matter he tackles. Have some note taking material on hand because you’ll want to jot a few things down in this one. Oh, and “The Myth Of Tomorrow” stuff...well you’ll just have to listen to find out : ) What you’ll learn in this episode: What to do in the face of doubt and fear How to uncover your big WHY in life The 4 elements to being on path in your life A science-based exercise to experience more of what you want in life
We have all been in a situation where another person has challenged a belief that we held. Big or small, we know what it feels like to be questioned and to then feel like we need to defend our beliefs. Well, I'm no stranger to this either, and I had an excellent opportunity to experience this very thing during a recent podcast interview! The episode that you're about to listen to was recorded just minutes after I had my belief challenged on air. I decided that I wanted to capture the moment as it was happening, and share my experience with you. The original episode where my previously held belief was challenged will be publishing soon (most likely directly after this one), but this episode is about what happened and how I responded. What you'll hear in this episode: The experience that inspired me to record this episode What I consider to be one of the purest pathways to growth A personal challenge for you to experience growth
How do you define “rich”? If you’re like me and most Americans, the first words that come to mind when you hear “rich” are probably about money or something financially related. Makes sense. That’s the context we’re most used to hearing. And I’m sure my guest thought that way as well for a period of time. But somewhere during her journey her definition of “rich” shifted. Maybe it was after hearing Nick Vujicic’s story (see the show notes). Today Dee Reilly defines richness in terms of happiness and satisfaction, and has devoted her career to helping people live deeply fulfilling lives. Dee’s personal story has its fair share of ups and downs, and that’s what lends her work more power. She’s been there. She’s experienced it. She knows what growing up without means feels like. She knows what losing her sense of security as an adult feels like. And she also knows what it’s like to dust herself off, continuing to believe in her ability to persevere. These experiences, combined with her fascination with the scientific, measurable means to happiness, have put Dee head and shoulders ahead of others in her field when it comes to outlining how to feel happy, satisfied, and connected. Dee is inspired to not only uncover ways the people can improve their lives, but find research backing her recommendations. She digs into the science behind everything that she teaches, so that she and her clients can sink their teeth into the information to create the most significant and lasting change in their lives. She takes new age chanting and positive thinking, and uncovers why these things may and may not be effective, and get into the meat of what really works. In our conversation we talk about beliefs and how they shape our reality, we talk about how to become an observer of yourself, and the power of coaching and mentorship. What you’ll learn in this episode: How to move forward even when you’re feeling “bad” about a situation How to separate a person from their behavior so that you can accept and not judge Why gratitude is the path to having it all
“We are all creators. Whether or not we create is not up to us. We are human, and creating is what we do.” - Michael Gungor You are a creator! Yes, you. Whether you not you believe it is irrelevant, because like Michael Gungor said, “We are human and creating is what we do.” In every role we play in life -- parent, spouse, friend, lover, community member, coach -- we create experiences and meaning. Today’s episode is an exercise in creation. I followed the advice of a friend and fellow podcaster, and recorded this episode with no notes and no script. Every part of this episode was created organically, on the spot. I did that because i wanted to exercise my muscles of creation, and what resulted was a powerful reflection on creative, the creative process, and tapping into our creative potential. What you’ll learn in this episode: What happens when we fail to acknowledge our creativity (especially when we praise it in others) How creativity ties into our gifts, talents and passions, and the difference of each of those How to tap into your full creative potential
Monique Ruffin is a celebration of living. She is one of those people that folks say has “A beautiful soul”. And I completely understand why. Monique grew up in the neighborhood of Watts in Los Angeles. Yes, that Watts. It's where Sanford And Sons was set, and was where Denzel Washington and Ethan Hawke duke it out in Training Day. That neighborhood is not known for many empowering things, but it’s where Monique called home. Growing up in an area impacted by crack, with parents in and out of jail, many wouldn’t have been surprised if Monique failed to transcend her environment. But she did, and in a big way. Monique is a mother, writer, creator, coach, radio host and group facilitator. But most of all she’s an example of what it looks like to live with heart, authenticity, courage, vulnerability and realness. In our conversation, Monique and I talk about her childhood, the lessons she’s learned as a mother, and how we can all grow beyond our circumstances. What you’ll learn in this episode: How to understand yourself so you can navigate life’s challenging circumstances The power of being curious 2 profound takeaways from motherhood
At the end of last week's episode I left you with a cliffhanger. Last week I was talking about FEEDBACK and the power of feedback to ensure you stay on path in life. I introduced the question, "What's the point of being on path if you don't know where the path is leading you to?" I left you with the promise that the next episode would be about Mission Statements and would feature a special guest. Well...here we are! This week I have an incredibly awesome guest with me, live in the studio (first episode with a guest in the flesh with me), and we get down and dirty on everything about Personal Mission Statements. Most people have heard of Mission Statements within businesses or organizations. But have you ever thought about how a Personal Mission Statement might impact your life? The difference between a life that's fueled by a clear, intentional mission, and one that is not, can be staggering. What you'll learn in this episode: Exactly what a Personal Mission Statement is, how they are used, and why they're important A process for developing your own Personal Mission Statement Stories and testimonies of people's experience of life before and after creating a Personal Mission Statement A taste of a very unique way to create a more badass life
If a Hall of Fame existed for podcasting, John Lee Dumas would be voted in on the first round. As the creator of the insanely popular business podcast, Entrepreneur On Fire, John has interviewed the most successful entrepreneurs of today. People like Pat Flynn, Seth Godin, Tim Ferriss, Tony Robbins and Gary Vaynerchuk. I had the chance to sit down with John on my previous show, The Digital Marketing Guy Podcast, and although it was a marketing show, JLD and I spent little to no time talking marketing. Instead we dove into what it takes to create the life you truly want to live. John shares insights from talking to today's brightest entrepreneurs, and wisdom from his personal experience of growing a seven figure business based around podcasting! In this episode you'll learn: The truth of the Work-Life Balance Facing your fears and 2 powerful tools anyone can use to tackle even the biggest fears The secret to GOAL SETTING that ends in you actually hitting your goals!
I’m a firm believer that life is always going to throw circumstances your way, especially when you say (or think) you’re ready to handle them. Circumstances can look like a fender bender, a letter from the IRS, a pet needing to go to the vet, and pretty much whatever other not-sought-after experience that you can think of. Enter Faydra Koenig, a woman who has been through her fair share of circumstances! I was inspired to connect with Faydra after watching a personal and candid video on the circumstances that she has experienced in her life. When we sat down, Faydra was an open book. And having listened to her podcast and spent time on her website, I didn’t expect anything less. In our conversation Faydra and I talk about circumstances and how to not only survive them, but thrive! What you’ll learn in this episode: The Law Of Gestation 2 types of accountability groups (and which ignites powerful results) How to thrive when life throw’s you circumstances
What is simultaneously the most significant factor and biggest barrier to becoming your greatest self? Without this thing, airplanes would not make it to their final destination, corporate managers would have less work to do, and you would reach a ceiling with your potential. It's something that confronts the ego so directly that many people shy away from it at any cost. Yet, it is a powerful tool for self realization, growth and transformation. Any ideas yet?!? What you’ll learn in this episode: The one thing that can accelerate you on your path to greatness (or stop you in your tracks) How to ensure you’re growing and moving in the most powerful direction for YOU in life My personal mission statement for my life right now
This powerful conversation stemmed from a tip a friend gave me, “Matthew, you have got to interview this guy!” The guy I was being encouraged to speak with was Mike Mills. Mike is an exceptionally unique guy. He has what I call the Small “s” success and Big “S” Success. Mike is the owner and operator of the Buffalo Outdoor Center, a lodging and outfitting resort sitting on the historic Buffalo River in Ponca, Arkansas. The Small “s” success is the thriving business that Mike has built over the past 40 years. The Big “S” Success is the way that Mike describes his experience of life: Heaven. In this conversation, Mike shares his story of growing up paddling the Buffalo River, learning discipline from his father and the Marines, jumping into entrepreneurship with little money and even less business experience, and growing a world renowned outfitting resort that attracts heads of state, National Geographic photographers, and thousands of nature seekers each year. What you’ll hear in this episode: How a letter from his father became the biggest challenge in Mike’s life Why society doesn’t encourage the pursuit of dreams A common trait all world-changing entrepreneurs possess
We are all influencers. Everyday we influence, without fail, we influence three groups: our Selves, Others and Life. However, many of us go through life unaware of just how much we influence these groups, and unconscious of the power of influence we really have. Yet, despite this lack of awareness and intention, we are still wielding this power of influence in many ways, some more responsibly than others. In today’s episode I share a powerful story of influence and ask you to ponder a question that will change how you look at your ability to influence your Self, Others and Life.
We’ve all been throughsituations that, at the time, felt never ending. Time crawls by. Our bodiesrespond to the tension. Our minds race from present to future topast. Going through hell feels likegoing through hell. But if you’re reading this, ifyou’re here right now, then that means you made it through hell.You survived THRIVED! Because when you walk throughhot coals, your feet get tougher and more resilient. Colleen Crain knows that islike. A traumatic event as a child left her physically impaired fora time, and emotionally shaken. But she also know, first hand,that rising above circumstances is what we are designed todo. What you’ll learn in this episode:
Howto relate powerfully to circumstances
Howto thank fear for showing up
Colleen’s personal story of dealing withcircumstances
Love and Fear.
It's what all decisions in our lives can be boiled down to.
Love vs. Fear.
Fear can be one heck of a beast!
We all know because we all can recall times when we let fear overpower our ability to make clear decisions.
I lived much of my life in fear and can vividly remember making choices from a place a fear since early on.
And I also remember the feeling after those choices. The feeling of having to sit with myself knowing that I choose a lesser path.
This past weekend I faced a different kind of fear: the fear of physical death.
I JUMPED out of a plane, and in that choice I connected with so many other choices I had made throughout my life that illuminated the fact that when it boils down to the essence we always have a choice between FEAR and LOVE.
What you'll learn in this episode:
Why jumping is always the precursor to living
Why you will probably choose fear again and again
How to break the fear cycle
How do you define "wellbeing"?
How about breaking down the word into it's two parts -- WELL and BEING -- what do those words mean to you?
My guest in today's conversation is clear on what those words mean to her, and is on a mission to spread her message of whole wellbeing.
Dr. Michelle Robin is a chiropractor by trade, but has expanded herself into an author, speaker, and podcaster.
You have been lied to about success!
Like most of us, we've been told that success is determined by factors "out there". Achievements, accolades, possessions, titles, certifications, promotions - you know the deal.
But you've also been told that success is simply a mindset. You are successful if you feel successful. If you're "happy".
But I'm introducing a new concept to the mix. The concept of little "s" success and big "S" Success.
We may all define success in our own unique ways. But the big "S" and little "s" concepts are universal.
It's probably of no surprise that I love listening to podcasts!
I was browsing through new and popular shows a few weeks back, and stumbled across "The New Man" from Tripp Lanier. The title intrigued me, and I jumped into a random episode to see what it was all about.
That episode was "Mission and Purpose - What's the Difference and Why Does it Matter?"
I listened to it three times.
Yup.
Played it...restarted....played it again....restarted....played it one last time.
Then I told my wife about the episode and shared a quote on my Facebook.
Tripp nailed the difference between Mission and Purpose, and at that point I knew I wanted to have a conversation with him myself to see what other powerful insights he had.
And boy did he have them!
My conversation with Tripp spans a number of topics, and he shares with me his personal story of healing, self discovery, and just being powerful!
What you'll learn in this episode:
How to serve your higher purpose
Avoiding "the trap"
How to bring heart into your life
What would your life look like if you were fully engaged? If you were living your life to the max? If you were experiencing a "guttural brushfire"?
That’s the question that my guest today has been meditating on.
Sandy Chambers is very close persona friend of mine and one of the most consciously mature people I know. She devours books, videos, podcasts -- anything that she can get her hands on that will elevate her consciousness. She has read and re-read the works of authors like David R Hawkins, Eckhart Tolle, and Marianne Williamson. She has studied and applied and surrendered to the processes that the sages and gurus have given us to follow. And every single time I have the chance to go in with Sandy on a conversation, I walk away feeling like I need to download all of the information I’ve just taken in, or else my brain might overload.
Now, Sandy wanted my help in crystallizing her passion -- she has been doing some deep and critical thinking on what her true passion is -- which is why we scheduled this call. But as you’ll hear, we end up going in on so many other crucial topics, like personal mission statements, the power of words, subconscious scripting, and much more.
Sit back and prepare yourself because this conversation is a powerful one.
Living a BOLD life is what Kimberly Rich is known for today. But her life wasn’t always described as bold.
For years she did what she was supposed to: got the degree, landed the job, worked the hours, joined the rat race.
However, a BOLD decision in 2013 sent her life on a path she never expected.
Kimberley is the creator of The Bold Life Movement, where she coaches aspiring entrepreneurs on how to live life boldly and on their own terms. In our conversation, we talk about the courage necessary to go against the grain and follow your passions, plus we discuss the realities of choosing the path of self growth and healing.
What you'll learn in this episode:
Kimberly’s recommended habits on manifestation
Kimberly’s #1 habit of health and wellness
How to learn when to say “Yes” and when not to
Have you experienced true discontent in your life?
That’s totally a rhetorical question because if you’re alive then that means you’ve been in situations that you haven’t liked. The real question is, how did you handle those situations?
My guest in today’s conversation is Dianne Crampton, and she would guess that you did one of three things: blamed someone else, ignored it all together, or asked yourself “What is this here to teach me?”
Dianne has spent most of her life asking herself “What is this here to teach me?”, and that has led her to many amazing realizations and experiences.
Gregg Cluins is like a sponge that’s squeezed over a funnel.
[Great visual, huh?!]
Gregg is the type of guy who dives in head first and deep into the things he’s passion about, soaks up everything he can, and then shares it in a way where you get only the best stuff that you can take action on.
In his case, Gregg is passionate about Personal Development and improving his experience of life. Since his brother first handed him a copy of TITLE by Tony Robbins, Gregg was hooked on the idea that the could create the life that he wanted.
This led to years of studying, learning, applying, failing, evolving, and repeating.
Now, Gregg is at a place where he helps others improve their lives through and get themselves to where they want to be.
In this episode you will learn:
The hidden costs of working on yourself
How to move through your most debilitating doubt and fear
Why the concept of “balance” is not possible (and what is)
Amy Balog is asking us all to “lead from center”.
But what does that even mean?
Well, to Amy, leading from center means being so in-tune with yourself -- knowing who you are, and what makes you tick -- that you're able to create amazing results in your life and the life of others. It's about gaining clarity, calmness and conviction, and being acutely aware of the environment inside of yourself so that you may more powerfully impact the environments around you.
Amy’s passion is helping leaders tap into their center to create massive results within their organizations, and within themselves.
In this conversation Amy and I dive into what leading from center truly means and looks like, and we examine the impact that understanding your bigger WHY has on your life and the lives of those around you. Amy shares her journey of stepping into this work and the watershed moment that changed her career trajectory forever.
In this episode you will learn:
The formula for Leading From Center
The non-tangible elements for success many leaders are overlooking
How to shift your frame of mind from “performing” to “serving”
“I wouldn’t be here today, talking to you Matthew, if I didn’t make the decision 3 years ago to get healthy”
Shawn Manaher knows what it’s like for his body to fail him. A few years ago he woke up feeling numbness in parts of his body that he couldn’t explain.
And neither could his doctors.
But one thing Shawn knew was that things had to change, or he wasn’t going to be around much longer.
And what was he sacrificing his body for? What was that important that he was willing to put his health on the back burner to the point his loved ones felt it necessary to intervene?
….working 2 full-time jobs, that’s what.
A few lifestyle shifts and 60lbs later, Shawn is an example of what it looks like to take a hard look in the mirror, muster up some courage, and make some serious changes to your life.
Paul Colaianni has not always led an authentic life. Experiences as a child taught him that authenticity and self expression were detrimental to his health and the health of those around him, so he bottled them up. The result was a life ripe with unsteady relationships, frustration, and disillusionment. It wasn’t until facing the end of another relationship, that Paul reached an emotional, mental and spiritual breaking point, which sent him on a 10 year journey to study and self examine. Today, Paul is a self empowerment coach who uses his life experiences and the insights he’s picked up along the way, to coach others through their challenges and help them reach their personal goals. In this episode, Paul shares what he’s learned through a life of exploring what living authentically means to him, and he gets personal with me and he talks about his experience of growing up in an alcoholic home, destroying relationships with judgement and fear, and going through life not being his true authentic self.
Omar Zenhom is passionate about helping people take the JUMP into pursuing theirentrepreneurship dreams. Omar is an entrepreneur in every sense of the word. He was an educator and university manager for 13 years, where he got an inside look at how the higher education system works (or doesn’t work). He spent 1 semester pursuing his MBA before dropping out to put those resources and time into build his own business. Today Omar is the co-founder of The $100 MBA where he’s on a mission to revolutionize business education. In this episode, Omar and I talk about entrepreneurship, the path to happiness and success, and why pursuing your passion is not the way to be happy in life.
Kelsey Humphreys is a media entrepreneur and "motivational journalist" on a mission to inspire and equip you for success. She is the creator of the Pursuit Planner and author of the Amazon bestseller Go Solo. Catch her in-person video interviews with today's leaders like Gary Vaynerchuk, Seth Godin, the Property Brothers, Chalene Johnson and more on her show The Pursuit, at thepursuit.tv, or learn more about Kelsey at kelseyhumphreys.com. In our conversation we talk about Kelsey’s personal journey of releasing a debilitating attachment, the collected wisdom she’s gathered from interviews with the top influencers of today, and a simple yet effective method she’s used to uncover her calling in life.
Colleen Patrick Goudreau lives a life of compassion. She has compassion for animals, which influenced her to choose a vegan lifestyle (on which she is a leading authority). She has compassion for other people, which influenced the message she spreads to the world. And she has compassion for herself, which, through intentional practice, has allowed her to experience herself fully and manifest her deepest values. In this episode, Colleen and I have a powerful conversation on the practice of manifestation, self compassion and the truth behind how we make a difference in this world (spoiler: you are ALWAYS making a difference, the question is whether you’re providing value or taking it away).
Welcome to “Having It A.L.L.”! This podcast is about exploring the question “Can we really ‘have it all’ in life?” My name is Matthew Bivens, and I believe that having it all means viewing life through a lens of abundance and love. It’s not about “having” anything, but instead about how we experience ourselves, other people, and life itself. In this podcast, my guests and I explore what “having it all” and creating your ideal life, actually look like. We talk about the joy and contentment when you feel like you have it all (however you define it), and we also talk about the profound and uncomfortable situations that you frequently must go through to create that ideal life.
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