Money and Marriage Podcast: Recent Episodes
Bill Nelson
Explore the intersection of money and marriage with Bill Nelson, a Certified Financial Therapist-Level I™ Practitioner and a Certified Financial Planner™. Bill founded Pacesetter Planning in 2016 to help couples get - and stay - on the same financial page.
In this podcast, you will learn how to: ➡️ Make finances a source of strength in your marriage, rather than a source of stress ➡️ Implement financial strategies beyond generic rules of thumb that are specifically tailored to your money habits and values as a couple ➡️ Use your money to create the lives you love - together
In this episode, we discuss the concept of money scripts and how these unconscious financial beliefs drive our financial decisions. We also discuss why money scripts are often the key to unraveling a couple's financial differences and how to go about addressing money scripts in your marriage.
To get access to the money script assessment mentioned in the episode, email bill@pacesetterplanning.com
To schedule a free breakthrough session with me, visit https://pacesetterplanning.com/contact
Back in Episode 76, we first talked about the concept of financial infidelity. In this episode, we discuss several strategies for how to prevent and address financial infidelity in your family
To schedule a free breakthrough session with me, visit https://pacesetterplanning.com/contact or email me at bill@pacesetterplanning.com
In this episode, I share what I've learned on my journey from being a financial planning math nerd, to being unexpectedly dubbed a "financial therapist" by several clients, to becoming a Certified Financial Therapist-I™ Practitioner. People often have a preconcieved notion about what financial therapy is - and what it isn't - and we explore these ideas in detail in this episode.
To schedule a free breakthrough session with me, visit https://pacesetterplanning.com/contact
Prior episodes mentioned in the podcast:
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2 - My Money and Marriage Story
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44 - The Rider, the Elephant, and "Retail Therapy"
The three step framework couples should use to measure progress in their financial plan.
Want to learn more? Head to the new and improved https://pacesetterplanning.com/
Back in March, the National Association of Realtors agreed to pay $418,000,000 to settle a series of lawsuits about realtor compensation.
Longtime listeners of the podcast will know that I've had quite a bit to say about how the real estate industry operates over the years... and while I had initially planned to wait until some of the details were ironed out before weighing in, there were a few things I needed to get off my chest. Enjoy this episode of the podcast!
Over the past six months or so, I've received a number of questions from listeners of the podcast about my work. In this week's episode, I answer a few common questions and take you behind the scenes of my website revamp.
To schedule a free breakthrough session, visit https://pacesetterplanning.com/contact
"What happens if _____ changes in the future?" is one of the most common questions I get from my financial planning clients. In this episode, we discuss three of the most common future changes I get asked about - college savings, retirement savings, and Social Security.
Money is a really difficult subject to talk about. And at the same time, we all know that communication is one of the keys to a strong marriage.
In this episode, we discuss specific tips on how to set up your financial conversations for success, some specific communication patterns to focus on, and how to structure financial conversations to decrease money fights.
For more tips, check out my book Marriage-Centered Money: Get on the Same Financial Page and Achieve Your Life Goals Together athttps://marriagecenteredmoney.com/book
To get your new family off on the right foot, it’s critically important to have a proven strategy for how to merge finances after marriage. In this episode, we discuss nine tips for couples on how to combine finances in a way that is customized to you and your spouse's unique money habits, attitudes, and values.
Check out my book Marriage-Centered Money: Get on the Same Financial Page and Achieve Your Life Goals Together athttps://marriagecenteredmoney.com/book
If you want to read the article I mentioned toward the end of this episode on picking health insurance plans, check out https://pacesetterplanning.com/pickinghealthinsurance/
In this week's episode, we discuss the one question I'll never answer for a client, and why I won't answer it. We then shift gears to focus on how to think about the underlying question in a way that is more in line with the goals in your plan.
Additionally, we discus a scheduling change - episodes will now be coming out every other Thursday, but they will be significantly longer than previous episodes. Love the format change? Hate the format change? Either way, email me (bill at pacesetterplanning dot com) and let me know!
In this week's episode, we highlight four of the most common financial questions and issues that couples face, and reference several statistics and academic research findings that I often see cited in each of these areas.
Unfortunately, I often see people draw false or incomplete conclusions from these data points. My hope is that by adding some context based on what I’ve seen work for hundreds of couples, you and your spouse will be able to avoid some of the most common money and marriage problems I see.
Want help working through these items? You can book a free, no-obligation intro call at https://pacesetterplanning.com/contact
In this week's episode, we walk through four specific steps you can take to get on the same financial page as your spouse.
If you'd like access to the full "get on the same financial page" video series mentioned in the episode, head to https://newlywedfinancialsuccess.com/samepage
And if you'd like to build the foundation of your family's financial plan in the next two weeks, I encourage you to enroll in the Newlywed Money Bootcamp: https://newlywedfinancialsuccess.com/bootcamp
Roughly 80%-90% of New Year's Resolutions fail. The data varies from study to study, but research consistently shows that New Year's Resolutions are not an effective way to create lasting change.
In this episode, we discuss a strategy to make your 2024 financial goals much more likely to stick.
Overspending, emotional spending, or "retail therapy" is a topic you'll hear plenty about on financial blogs... but I like to think this is a little bit of a different twist on the subject.
In this "throwback" episode of the Money and Marriage Podcast (originally published three years ago!), we explore some strategies to handle emotional spending. Enjoy!
There are two ways to make money: by working for income (getting paid by others), or by building assets (getting paid by things that you save or build).
In this week's episode, I take you behind the scenes to share my perspective on the difference between these two types of incomes, and share a change I'll be making to this podcast in early January based on this concept.
If you (or your partner) were presented with a great job opportunity, but it required you to relocate halfway across the country... would accepting the job be a no-brainer decision, completely off the table, or something to discuss?
There's no universally right or wrong answer to this question, since it involves balancing multiple priorities for your family. This week's episode will help give you a framework to work through this issue if it were to ever arise for your family.
You might not think of Charles Dickens' novel "A Christmas Carol" as a good place to learn investing principles... but there's one line of the book that highlights the importance of international diversification in a way you might not expect. Tune into this week's episode to learn more!
"If you don't make a change, bad things are going to happen in the future." You often hear financial planners use this sort of language to try to inspire you to pay down debt, increase your retirement savings, and so on.
The problem with this sort of sentiment is that it often does very little to actually inspire change. This sort of sentiment ignores a key step in the process to create meaningful and lasting change. We dive deeper into this concept - with an assist from a famous story - in this week's episode.
Most of us are hard-wired to focus more on our financial stresses and anxieties than our financial successes. And while there's certainly nothing wrong with spending most of your energy working on your financial stresses, spending too much time focusing on the negative can burn you out, make you disengage, or lead to money fights.
In this special Thanksgiving edition of the Money and Marriage Podcast, I talk through the benefits of starting financial conversations with what's going well rather than what's going wrong.
Back in Episode 102, I cautioned about relying on forecasts from "expert" mortgage lenders who expect mortgage rates to fall in the next year or two.
This statement prompted a great question that I wanted to discuss in this week's episode: what's the difference between making decisions based on these sorts of interest rate forecasts and making investment decisions based on expectations around how much you expect your investments to earn? Tune in to learn more!
To schedule a free consultation with me, visit https://pacesetterplanning.com/contact
It's hard to believe that I started my company seven years ago this week! In this episode, I share seven lessons that I've learned over the past seven years about money, marriage, and everything in between.
To book a free breakthrough session with me, visit https://pacesetterplanning.com/contact
Done right, financial planning protects your family's future - and sometimes, that means addressing questions that aren't fun to discuss. In this week's episode, I walk through a trend I'm seeing among the millennial couples I meet with, and why you might want to reconsider following this trend. Tune in to learn more!
Improper financial boundary issues can take many forms. Boundaries can be too rigid, too fluid, or not exist at all. Financial boundary issues can involve two spouses, their parents or in-laws, and their children.
We discuss all of these boundary issues - and more - in this week's podcast episode.
We throw around the word "risk" a lot in the financial planning world, but we don't always do a good job at having a multi-faceted discussion on the nature of financial risks and how to address each of them.
In this week's episode, we talk about the various types of risks that you face financially and discuss a framework for how to appropriately balance these risks.
Anger is a normal human emotion. If money is one of the primary sources of stress and conflicts for couples, it is only to be expected that anger related to financial decisions or situations in your family will arise from time to time.
In this week's episode, we talk about how to explore what your anger is trying to communicate to you, and how to appropriately navigate this emotion.
I don't think I've ever written an entire outline for a podcast episode, only to rip it up and talk about something completely different... but that's exactly what I did for this week's episode. Tune in to learn more!
If you want to set up a free breakthrough session with me, you can book a time on my calendar at https://pacesetterplanning.com/contact/
Too often, financial planners and media personalities gravitate to extreme positions. You can find respected financial professionals who will tell you that you should always combine all of your bank accounts, and you can find other respected financial professionals who will tell you that you should never combine any of your bank accounts.
In this week's episode, we have a more nuanced discussion on the topic.
To get a free download of the chapter in my book on setting up your bank account structure as an engaged or newlywed couple, head to https://marriagecenteredmoney.com/freechapter
(PS: I had a particularly bad case of hand, foot, and mouth disease while recording this episode - my apologies if my voice sounds off!)
The new SAVE student loan repayment plan has a lot of great features. But if you're not careful, you might end up throwing money away on this payment plan. Tune into this week's episode to learn more.
If you want access to a spreadsheet to help run these calculations for your loans, head to https://newlywedfinancialsuccess.com/join
(PS: I had a particularly bad case of hand, foot, and mouth disease while recording this episode - my apologies if my voice sounds off!)
I don't often have guests on the Money and Marriage Podcast, but this week's episode is the exception to the rule.
I'm excited to welcome Alicia Krasko to the show. I asked Alicia to be on the podcast both because she is a fantastic resource for families with children from prior marriages, but also because she is exceptionally transparent with some of the financial challenges and hurdles she faced after getting married. If you have stepkids, Alicia will be an invaluable resource for you. If you don't, she has a ton of great insights about navigating family relationship dynamics and financial perspectives as you enter marriage.
And be sure to check out my interview with Alicia on her podcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/8-talking-financial-planning-with-bill-nelson/id1698216989?i=1000626785436
Alicia's bio:
Alicia Krasko is a Stepmom Coach dedicated to helping stepmoms gain confidence and define their role in their blended family. She is the founder of The Stepmom Side Community-a private, off social media community for Stepmoms who are looking for additional support.
Alicia’s story goes from a single life to embracing a blended family when she met her husband, who had two children from a previous relationship. Her initial optimism turned into a challenging reality as she grappled with her new role as a stepmom.
As an outgoing person, Alicia found herself becoming a shell of her former self, struggling to find her place in this blended family dynamic. The lack of control and feeling like second best weighed heavily on her, causing her to question her marriage and even contemplate leaving.
However, Alicia's story is one of resilience and growth. Instead of surrendering to the difficulties, she learned to embrace and work with the challenges, accepting that life wouldn't always be black and white. Through her journey of self-discovery, she transformed into a dedicated stepmom coach, helping others navigate the complexities of step-parenting and finding strength in the process.
Website: https://aliciakrasko.com
The Stepmom Side Community: https://aliciakrasko.com/community
Instagram: https://instagram.com/aliciakrasko
Back in episode 97, we covered common mistakes I often see couples make with Roth IRAs. After this episode went live, I got a listener question about opening Roth IRAs for children. I respond to that question in this week's episode.
For the first time in three and a half years, payments will be required for Federal student loans starting in October. For most engaged and newlywed couples, this will be the first time they've ever had to figure out how to handle their loans as a married couple.
In this episode, I share three overarching strategies to consider as your loans enter repayment. I'm hosting a free, live, deep-dive student loan training on September 6th at 9 PM Eastern, which you can register for here: https://newlywedfinancialsuccess.com/studentloans
The logistics and emotions involved in your family's financial plan can be a little more complicated when you and your spouse have (very) different incomes. In this week's episode, we discuss a few different strategies to handle these differences.
To learn more, pick up a copy of my book Marriage-Centered Money and/or Farnoosh Torabi's book When She Makes More: 10 Rules for Breadwinning Women
If you're in a rush to make big financial changes - especially if you've been struggling to do so for awhile - you should consider making your next step forward a smaller one. Tune into this week's episode to learn more.
In this episode, I walk through a great exercise to use when you fight about money. To learn other strategies for reducing money fights, check out my book Marriage-Centered Money: Get on the Same Financial Page and Achieve Your Life Goals Together athttps://marriagecenteredmoney.com/book
The right bank account structure will solve a lot of financial challenges for your family, all else equal. And this includes maintaining your savings rate while being able to go on vacation. Turn into this week's episode to learn my favorite strategy to keep vacations and holiday travel from slowing down your financial progress.
Very few subjects come with as much emotional weight as money does. And unfortunately, emotions about non-financial topics often drive poor financial decisions. In this episode, I discuss why it's a bad idea to try to surpress your financial emotions, and what you should do instead.
If you want to learn more, I recommend going back to Episode 44 of this podcast, where we discuss a therapeutic framework for how to handle money and emotions in more detail: https://open.spotify.com/episode/6yxIZU7E9waigYo3xp4dtT?si=aWJ5NAUYRsyJfmeLxNkxwQ
I manage my personal finances in the same way I advise my clients to manage theirs. (You'd think that would be a given, but sadly, it's not always the case in my industry). But about a year ago, I realized there was one big exception to this rule. In this episode, Idiscuss that exception, and how it led me to restructure my business and create the Newlywed Money Bootcamp.
To learn more about the bootcamp, head to http://newlywedfinancialsuccess.com/bootcamp
I had more fun recording this episode than I have recording the previous 101 episodes combined. You should start listening to this episode to learn how to handle high(er) interest rate environments as a homebuyer and what two BIG mortgage traps to avoid right now, and you should stick around until the end to hear the (mostly unscripted) fights I ended up picking with mortgage brokers, realtors, and the city of Philadelphia (in no particular order). Enjoy!
What's the rush? Retirement savings is important... but it shouldn't be your only financial priority.
What if, rather than being in a rush to retire, you focused on creating a life that you don't want to retire from? We discuss all of this, and more, in this week's episode.
For the 100th episode of the Money and Marriage Podcast, I share one of my favorite concepts to help frame financial challenges and financial progress.
Book a free breakthrough session at https://pacesetterplanning.com/contact/
Nobody likes talking about estate planning - but it's absolutely critical for the protection of your future family. The good news? It doesn't take that many steps to make a big difference for your loved ones down the road. Tune into this week's episode to learn more.
Note: if you need term life or disability insurance, here's a link to the firm I mentioned in the episode!
In this week's episode, we discuss five common "red flags" that I commonly see in the way couples manage money together. If one or more of these are present in your relationship, I highly recommend reaching out (bill@pacesetterplanning.com) and I will connect you with the appropriate resources to help.
Roth IRAs are a great retirement savings vehicle... but there are a few fine print issues that many investors miss. In my recent experience, this is especially true for newlywed couples. Tune in to learn more!
To get access to a 30 day trial of the membership mentioned in this episode (where you can find a ton of resources related to Roth IRAs and other marriage & money topics, head to http://newlywedfinancialsuccess.com/bootcamp
In this week's episode, we discuss a recent academic study that concluded that "married couples who combine accounts and manage finances together may love each other longer." I discuss the study, my opinion on the issue, and suggest next steps on how you should move forward, particularly if you or your spouse are hesitant to combine finances.
If you're interested in learning other concrete ways you can strengthen your marriage through your handling of your finaces, you can get a copy of my book here: https://marriagecenteredmoney.com/
Press release summarizing the study: https://news.iu.edu/live/news/28244-married-couples-who-merge-finances-may-be-happier
There's no need to panic about the current debate about the United States hitting the "debt ceiling" - but that doesn't mean there aren't steps you should be taking to prepare for any outcome of the debate. Listen to this week's episode to learn more.
To set up a no-cost consultation, complete the form at https://pacesetterplanning.com/contact
Why has it taken me two weeks to talk about the Silicon Valley Bank failure, when it seems like everyone else in the financial planning world is worried about it? Turns out, there's a very simple reason - tune into this episode to learn more.
Grab a copy of my book, Marriage-Centered Money: http://marriagecenteredmoney.com/book
Follow us on Instagram: @pacesetterplanning https://www.instagram.com/pacesetterplanning/
I posed this question on my Instagram page a few weeks ago, and my answer surprised a lot of people. Tune in today for a deeper discussion on the topic!
To learn more, pick up a copy of my new book, Marriage-Centered Money!
In order to determine the optimal way to invest your money, we first need to establish what you want to use the money for. In this week's episode, we talk through why this is so important and some strategies for how to put this into action.
To learn more, pick up a copy of my new book,Marriage-Centered Money!
This episode might be a little controversial... but it's all for a good reason! Hopefully, this discussion gets you thinking and maybe even shift the way you think about making optimal financial decisions.
To learn more, pick up a copy of my new book, Marriage-Centered Money!
In this week's episode, I talk about the common "cash flow crunch" I see couples go through a few years after they get married, and how to handle it.
In this week's episode, I walk through the three most common things that are missing when I review a couple's financial situation and give you some tips on how to avoid making these mistakes.
To learn more, pick up a copy of my new book, Marriage-Centered Money!
What does "Marriage-Centered" Money mean? And what's the (somewhat entertaining) reason I was so hesitant to name my book Marriage-Centered Money? Find out more in this week's episode.
Grab your copy of Marriage-Centered Money today: https://marriagecenteredmoney.com/book
Marriage-Centered Money is HERE! Grab your copy today: https://marriagecenteredmoney.com/book
Marriage-Centered Money is meant to bridge the gap between the academically validated (but largely unactionable) content in the money and marriage space, and the all-action, "cookie cutter" financial guidance that is all too common in my industry. In today's episode, I share a key concept in the book that illustrates how Marriage-Centered Money sits in the middle.
We're only one week away from the debut of Marriage-Centered Money - tune in next week to learn how to get a copy of the book for 50% off!
Managing money and making financial decisions is much harder after you get married. In this week's episode, we explore the implications of this reality and how to approach these challenges in your marriage. To learn more, read our new book Marriage-Centered Money, which will be available starting September 8th!
What in the world drove this math nerd to sit down and write a book? In this episode, I share the story of the 2020 conversation that convinced me I needed to write Marriage-Centered Money. You can get your copy of the book starting on Thursday, September 8th!
We're doing something a little different with this week's episode. I've gone back through our archives and pulled "five" (really seven, but who's counting?) episodes you should re-listen to before our book Marriage-Centered Money comes out on September 8th.
I wrote Marriage-Centered Money to teach important financial planning lessons to couples. I certainly wasn't expecting to learn so many lessons for myself during the process!
In this week's episode, I share five big lessons I learned on my book publishing journey, and share how each of these lessons apply to your financial planning journey as well.
And at long last, we are almost ready to share the publication date of the book! Tune into my Instagram @pacesetterplanning on Monday, August 8th to see the announcement!
In this week's episode, we discuss a few scenarios where having a prenup (or postnup) might make sense.
It's only natural to wonder if there are specific changes you should make to your investments during times of market turbulence. While I recommend that you generally continue to manage investments based on your investment goals rather than current market conditions, there are two strategies I think are particularly good ones in the present given the current market. We discussed the first of these in this Episode 77, and will cover the second in this week's episode.
To learn more about the opportunity discussed in this episode, head to https://www.treasurydirect.gov/indiv/products/prod_ibonds_glance.htm
It's only natural to wonder if there are specific changes you should make to your investments during times of market turbulence. While I recommend that you generally continue to manage investments based on your investment goals rather than current market conditions, there are two strategies I think are particularly good ones in the present given the current market. We discuss the first of these in this episode, and will cover the second in Episode 78.
53% of people report behaviors associated with financial infidelity, but only 27% of people admit to committing financial infidelity. This gap suggests that there are a lot of marriages suffering from financial secrecy that are in some degree of denial about it. Tune into this week's episode to learn what financial infidelity is, why it's such a problem, and how to spot problematic money behaviors in your marriage.
If you're feeling stuck financially and discouraged with your progress (or lack thereof) toward achieving your goals, tune into this week's episode to learn how to quickly jumpstart your family's financial progress.
In this week's episode of the Money and Marriage Podcast, I'm finally sharing some key details about the publication of my first book. Tune in to be the first to know the book's title and when you'll be able to read it!
What can Bruce Springsteen teach you about financial differences in your marriage? Tune into this week's episode of The Money and Marriage Podcast to find out!
It's easy to see what's trendy when it comes to fashion, TV shows, and music, but with a taboo subject like money, it's a much different story. As a financial planner and a Certified Financial Therapist-Level I™ Practitioner, I am in a relatively unique position to understand the common themes and trends that are on couples' minds in 2022.
And so, in this week's episode, I wanted to share the five most common things I'm seeing right now regarding how couples are managing their money together. I also provide strategies for how to handle the issues at hand for any of these trends that resonate with you and your spouse.
Scarcely a day went by in 2021 when I wasn't asked about the topic of this week's episode. And nobody has asked me about this topic in the past several months.
In this podcast, we discuss what this topic is, why it's important that nobody is asking about it right now, and how the implications of this affect the way you and your spouse manage money together. If you've ever had FOMO when it comes to your finances, this episode is for you.
The story I tell in this episode might be the last story you'd expect to hear right now... which, in my mind, is all the more reason to tell it!
In this episode, we discuss three important perspectives you need to examine in order to make a positive, effective, and lasting financial change in your marriage. You have likely heard the story I share to illustrate this point, but you probably have never thought about it this way. Tune in to learn more!
We're back! After a year's hiatus, I'm so excited to be back with new, weekly episodes of the Money and Marriage Podcast.
In this episode, I take you behind the scenes to show you some of the exciting things I've been up to over the past year and set some expectations around what the podcast will look like going forward. I'm excited to be back with you each and every Thursday!
Some good news and some bad news in this week's episode:
- The bad news: We will be pausing production of this podcast until the fall.
- The good news: You'll just have to tune into the episode to learn why!
We'll be back with new episodes in the fall. In the meantime, the best way to keep in touch is on Instagram. We'll see ya soon!
Most of the content and strategies we feature on this podcast involve having productive money conversations with your partner. But what do you do if money is a topic that your partner won't talk about?
In this episode, we do a deep dive into the reasons that these communication blocks around money might be occurring, and give you some strategies to consider using to move your relationship forward.
Somehow, we've made it 66 full episodes of this podcast without talking about retirement planning. So - we're going to fix that with this week's episode.
In this episode, we discuss:
- How to constructively think about retirement planning in the first half of your career
- How much you should be saving for retirement
- How to approach retirement savings as a couple
- What to do if you feel behind on your retirement savings
Back in Episode 56, we walked through a quick and efficient process to monitor your financial progress on a month-by-month basis. This Monthly Money Meeting works great to help you stay focused each month, but every few months, I recommend you go a little bit deeper.
In this episode, I walk you through the critical areas of your financial plan that should be periodically reviewed and updated, ideally on a quarterly basis.
It's normal for you and your spouse to have differences in how you view and manage money. You're different people - it would be weird if you didn't have any differences!
Financial differences don't mean you're incompatible, and they don't mean that you can't get on the same page financially. But, it's critical to identify the root cause of your differences before you start trying to fix them. We cover how to do this in today's episode.
Note: there will be no new episode on Thursday, April 1st. I am busy welcoming the first cohort of students into my signature marriage-centered financial planning course, The Money and Marriage Blueprint. If you've enjoyed the material in this podcast and are looking for a step-by-step roadmap for how to implement these principles in your own household, I encourage you to check out the details of the program using this link. I hope to see you inside the program, and otherwise, we'll be back to our usual podcast schedule on Thursday, April 8.
To register for the FREE masterclass I mention in this episode, head to http://moneymarriageblueprint.com/masterclass
As a Certified Financial Planner, I've had the privilege of meeting with couples in a wide, wide variety of financial circumstances. And I've seen couples make incredible financial progress in just a short amount of time, regardless of their financial starting point.
But, there's one key thing that tends to inhibit financial progress. One key characteristic that is true of the vast majority of couples who aren't making the financial progress that they desire, and it's especially common for couples whose incomes are between $50,000 - $250,000 per year. This concept can be summarized in two simple words... and those two words are the subject of this week's episode. Tune in to learn more!
It's really hard to make financial progress as a family if you and your spouse aren't working together. You don't need to 100% agree on everything (spoiler alert: that will never happen!) but you do need to be in alignment on the direction you're going.
In today's episode, we will discuss a variety of strategies to help you get your spouse on board with the financial changes you're looking to make. Some of them are financial strategies, others focus on communication. By the time you've finished the episode, you'll have a better understanding about why your spouse isn't on board, and what to do about it!
We've talked a lot about how to make financial progress on this show. But before you can start accelerating your financial progress, you need to know two things:
- Where your money is
- Where your money is going
In this week's episode, I share five of my favorite strategies to bring clarity to your family's finances. If you've ever got to the end of the month, logged into your bank accounts, and wondered "how the heck did my credit card bill get so high?", then this is the episode for you.
To get access to my FAVORITE exercise to help couples get on the same page with their money, head to pacesetterplanning.com/moneyandmarriage
How are you and your spouse doing financially right now?
It's a tough question to answer with a more detailed answer than "fine" or "not great", because most of us don't focus on the right areas and metrics when it comes to tracking our money.
In this episode, I walk you through the two primary metrics I recommend using to track the progress that you and your partner are making financially. And, I share some insights on the five key qualitative areas that could be holding you back from financial success.
In my experience working with couples, just about every marriage has some work to do on one of these five areas. To learn which of these five factors is most important for you and your spouse to focus on, head to pacesetterplanning.com/quiz
On the "money" side of the "Money and Marriage" equation, there are two subjects I get questions about more than any other:
- How to handle student loans (particularly when one spouse has a lot more student loan debt than the other), and
- How to buy your first home
Since the start of the New Year, I've had conversations with first time homebuyers-to-be in several competitive real estate markets (ranging from DC to LA, San Francisco to New York, Seattle to Boston) about how to handle "seller's markets" (ie, when the demand for homes far exceeds the supply of homes on the market). This trend has been exacerbated by the COVID-19 pandemic, and is shaping up to be a real challenge for people buying homes in the first half of this year - and potentially beyond.
So - how should you handle these types of competitive markets? If you're looking to buy a home sometime in the next year or two, this is the episode for you. Tune in and learn four key strategies to consider as you work toward buying a home in a competitive real estate market.
And if you want to learn more - email me at bill@pacesetterplanning.com and I'll put you on the waitlist for my course for First-Time Homebuyers, and I'll let you know when it's open for enrollment!
One of the key themes of this podcast is that by learning how to manage your finances more effectively with your partner, your marriage will grow stronger over time.
That might sound like an exaggeration - but the more time I spend working with couples on building and implementing financial plans, the more convinced I am that it's true. In this episode, I'll walk you through five detailed ways that improving the way you manage money as a team with your spouse will make your relationship stronger.
To get access to my FAVORITE exercise to help couples get on the same page with their money, head to pacesetterplanning.com/moneyandmarriage
Usually when we talk about different habits and attitudes when it comes to money in a marriage, we tend to think in terms of who is the "spender" and who is the "saver" in the relationship. Not today!
In this episode, we discuss at length the difference between spouses that, in my experience, is actually more common than spending/saving differences. I share an exercise to complete with your spouse to determine how aligned you are in this area, and give you a handful of strategies to consider as you implement a financial plan in your family that addresses both of your needs.
Because while we often think of the two sides of this argument as opposites... in reality, you need both in your financial plan. By the end of this episode, you'll have a ton of ideas for how to make this a reality for your family and improve your coordination with your spouse in managing your money toward both your short and long term aspirations.
To get access to my FAVORITE exercise to help couples get on the same page with their money, head to pacesetterplanning.com/moneyandmarriage
Differences in habits and attitudes around money + a lack of communication about your finances = a recipe for money fights in a marriage. Luckily, there's a solution that's both easy to implement and very time efficient. A solution that can help you improve the way you manage money as a team (despite your differences in financial habits), facilitate healthier communication around money, and empower both you and your spouse to bake better financial decisions together. Best of all - this solution only takes about 20 minutes per month to implement.
In this episode, we discuss:
- Specific strategies to employ to stop bickering about money with your spouse
- How to set up a four-part, 20-minute monthly Money Management Meeting to quickly and efficiently set financial priorities together, improve your communication about your money, and get on the same financial page.
- Best practices for how to implement these strategies in a way that's sustainable for the long run.
To get access to my FAVORITE exercise to help couples get on the same page with their money, head to pacesetterplanning.com/moneyandmarriage
When you set big and ambitious financial goals, relying on your willpower alone to achieve them usually isn't sufficient. Pure focus and determination will get you started... but the best way to stick to your goals in the long run is to hold yourself accountable to other people.
Which is why I'm so excited to welcome my accountability partner, Heather Townsend, to this week's episode of the Money and Marriage podcast. Heather and I have met every Tuesday at 2 PM Eastern time since September 2018 to work through challenges together and hold each other accountable to our goals.
In this episode, we discuss:
- How we view the role of accountability in achieving your biggest goals.
- The qualities to look for in a good accountability partner - and why your spouse shouldn't be the person trying to hold you accountable
- Her biggest tip drawing from her experience as a financial planner to help couples trying to make financial progress
- ...and much more!
Heather is one of my favorite people on the planet and I am so excited to welcome her to today's episode!
Connect with Heather:
- Instagram: @heather.townsend.financial
- Website: https://www.townsend-financial.com/
There's no way around it - way too often, financial planning is intimidating. And the financial planning industry certainly doesn't do much to help make it less so.
This episode is for you if you...
- ... have ever looked at the content most financial professionals publish about how you should have $___ saved for retirement by the time you're 30, 35, and 40, and felt woefully behind...
- ... have ever been confused by the jargon that financial professionals throw around (and then when you ask them for an explanation, you're confused by some of the jargon that they use while trying to explain the original jargon...)
- ... have ever been faced with a financial decision that you have absolutely no clue how to decide.
In this episode, I give you five strategies that you and your spouse can implement in your family's financial plan on your own to help you feel empowered by your finances, rather than intimidated, as well as five tips to look for in a financial professional who will actually make money less intimidating. To learn more, head to pacesetterplanning.com/moneyandmarriage
Most New Year's Resolutions fail. If you want to actually achieve the goals you set, you need to be intentional about how you work toward them.
I'm excited to have Brittan Pack join me on today's episode to discuss how to incorporate intentional routines in your life that you'll actually stick to in the long run. Brittan wears a lot of hats; she's a pharmacist by day, is a mom to three children under five years old, and runs multiple online businesses on the side - including an online retail store for moms and a business teaching people how to implement a morning routine to allow you to, in Brittan's words, "win your morning, win your day."
It's this morning routine that inspired me to ask her to be on this episode about making good habits stick. In this episode, Brittan shares how she started implementing an ambitious morning routine - that regularly starts with her waking up at 4 AM! - as a way to develop several healthy habits. Better yet, she's been able to make the routine stick for over four years. We discuss strategies to make the most of your time, in a world where we often have never felt busier. Brittan also mentions the importance of accountability as you set your goals, and also shares the secret to her success in sticking to her goals. And be sure to listen to the end, where we walk through the top 3 concepts covered in today's episode and how to apply them to your money and marriage goals.
Connect with Brittan:
- Instagram - @Brittanpack
- Brittanpack.com
In this episode, I share a behind-the-scenes look at the production of the Money and Marriage podcast, share some of the feedback I've gotten and lessons I've learned along the way, and announce a few changes to the show going forward.
We'll be changing the format to weekly episodes, to be published every Thursday morning, starting on January 7th. Thanks so much for following along on the journey, and I'm so excited to continue improving this podcast for you in the New Year!
Over 80% of New Year's Resolutions fail by the end of January. If you're looking to make long-lasting financial changes to your life, you need a different approach.
In this episode, I share my preferred goal-setting approach and discuss why this approach works better than the traditional New Year's Resolutions. Let me know what you think!
I love a good spreadsheet. (I'm a financial planner, what do you expect?) But relying too heavily on spreadsheets to make financial decisions will lead you astray.
Over the years, I've named this phenomenon the "Spreadsheet Wars". Fighting in the "Spreadsheet Wars" refers to the tendency to use spreadsheets (or other financial models) to project a false sense of precision in your financial plans. Talking about this concept always leads to some interesting reactions, which occasionally have gotten heated (turns out, the financial planning community loves their spreadsheets!) Tune in to learn more.
There are a lot of good vehicles to use to invest your money. From retirement accounts, to mutual funds, and everything in between - a diversified portfolio of investments is a hallmark of any good financial plan.
But in this episode, I argue that the best investment you can make in your first few decades in the workforce - and in your marriage - is in yourselves. Tune in to learn more!
You can learn a lot about someone from the books on their reading list, and I'm no different. In this episode, I share five books on "money and marriage" topics I'm excited to read for the first time in 2021, and five books I'm looking forward to re-read! The full list is below:
- The Psychology of Money: Timeless Lessons on Wealth, Greed, and Happiness, Morgan Housel
- The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work, Dr. John Gottman
- Know Yourself, Know Your Money, Rachel Cruze
- Financial Planning 3.0: Evolving Our Relationships with Money, Dick Wagner
- What's Next? Follow Your Passion and Find Your Dream Job, Kerry Hannon
- When She Makes More: 10 Rules for Breadwinning Women, Farnoosh Torabi
- The One-Page Financial Plan: A Simple Way to Be Smart About Your Money, Carl Richards
- A Random Walk Down Wall Street: The Time-Tested Strategy for Successful Investing, Burton Malkiel
- Advice That Sticks: How to Give Financial Advice That People Will Follow, Dr. Moira Somers
- How To Talk About Money, Carl Richards
I loved playing with Legos when I was a kid. (If we're being honest with ourselves, I'd probably love playing with Legos now, too.) And as it turns out, there are a lot of similarities - and one crucial difference - between building a Lego set and implementing a financial plan. Tune into today's episode to learn more!
George Bailey - the honest, upstanding banker and protagonist from the 1946 film "It's a Wonderful Life" - is long gone. In today's episode, I share my favorite tips on how to achieve financial success in a world where the banks we use actually make it harder for us to manage our money effectively.
When you think about the biggest financial goals that you have.... do you really believe that you can achieve them?
Believing in yourself isn't sufficient to achieve your financial goals... but it is necessary. In today's episode, I invite you to consider what needs to change in order for you and your spouse to deeply believe in your ability to achieve financial success.
Overspending, emotional spending, or "retail therapy" is a topic you'll hear plenty about on financial blogs... but I like to think this is a little bit of a different twist on the subject.
In today's episode, we discuss Jonathan Haidt's psychological framework of the Elephant and the Rider, and how it can be applied to help handle emotional spending. Enjoy!
Homeownership is a great thing - IF you buy your home when you're ready, the right way, and in the right place.
In today's episode, we discuss what it means to be "ready" to buy your first home, as well as the steps you can start taking now to buy your home from a position of financial strength (rather than financial stress.)
Whether it's a career change that requires a step down in pay, or either you or your spouse deciding to leave your job altogether, making decisions that change your family's income might be the highest stakes financial decisions you face as a family.
In this episode, we discuss the factors to consider when making decisions as a family that affect your careers, work/life balance, and income.
Today, we cover the third of our "four walls" - the four key areas to focus on to be on the same financial page as your spouse (debt, location, budgeting, and career decisions).
In today's episode, we discuss how to set your family up for financial success in 2021 by setting a budget for the year. If you've had a hard time sticking to a budget in the past, this episode is for you.
For some couples, deciding where you're going to live - and whether or not it makes sense to relocate - is a no-brainer. For others, it's one of the toughest decisions you'll ever make.
In this episode, we discuss the three layers to the decisions you'll face around where to plant your roots as a family - right down to how to pick the right house for you to buy.
Money is an emotional topic for all of us, but nothing tends to trigger those emotions quite like debt. In this episode, we discuss the most common question I get from couples when it comes to debt - how to handle situtations where you or your spouse bring a lot of debt into the marriage.
Should you treat all of your debt as "joint" obligations, even if you borrowed the money before you got married? Tune in today to learn more.
As a generation, we love to hate big financial companies. From banks, to insurance companies, to life insurance companies, to your student loan lender... name a big financial institution that you trust is doing the right thing.
crickets
But - there does tend to be one exception to this rule... and it's the subject of today's episode.
In past episodes, we've talked about how to decide whether or not you should combine finances with your spouse, and how to pick the right bank for your family. (Those were episodes 8 and 28, respectively.)
In today's episode, we cover the right mix of accounts you should have, and how to use each one.
Don't forget to email me (bill@pacesetterplanning.com) with your feedback on the changes I discuss in the first two minutes!
We've talked a lot about money fights in this podcast... but what does it mean if you and your spouse don't fight about money? Does that mean that everything's ok, or is it a potential warning sign?
In this episode, we discuss a few reasons where it might be bad if you and your spouse don't fight about money... and a few reasons that mean you're doing great!
It's never been easier to buy things quickly and have them delivered same-day, and pay for them after the fact rather than ahead of time by using a credit card. But research shows that the opposite approach is more likely to bring you higher levels of satisfaction with your purchase.
In this episode, we discuss one of the key ways you can use your money to increase your well-being: paying for things in advance of consuming them. If you'd like to learn more, I highly recommend checking out the book I mentioned in the episode, Happy Money: the Science of Happier Spending.
All of us have baggage - financial, or otherwise. In this episode, we discuss how to recognize when "financial baggage" presents itself in your marriage, and how to handle it so you can move forward as a team.
In today's episode, we have a new twist on a "classic" question. You might be surprised how this simple exercise of thinking through what you'd change if you won a million dollars will help you get on the same finanical page as your spouse and dictate the next few steps in your financial plan.
If you've struggled to save money in the past, this is the episode for you. Today, we discuss a simple - but surprisingly effective - way to start saving money that you can implement today.
A quick Google search of "how many couples get divorced" will quickly tell you that the divorce rate in America is about 50%. But it turns out, these statistics are incredibly misleading.
In this episode, we discuss why you should feel empowered rather than scared about the divorce rates in America today, and what you can do to increases the chances of success in your relationship.
I'm gonna let this episode speak for itself. Today, we take a brief detour from our usual content and, by popular demand, I share a behind-the-scenes story of why I dislike the Knights of Columbus (hint: they're a life insurance company, believe it or not!) and how I got blacklisted by them earlier this year.
Being your own boss is a lot of work, but it's awesome. If you have entrepreneurial dreams - you should absolutely put a plan in place to make those dreams a reality.
But, you shouldn't try to accomplish this through a Multi-Level Marketing (MLM) company. In this episode, we discuss why MLMs are so problematic, and what you should try instead of pursuing an MLM "opportunity".
Most couples come into their marriage using not just separate bank accounts, but accounts at separate banks. What's the best way to pick the right bank to use for your new family?
In this episode, I share the criteria I use to help couples decide the right banks to use for their joint accounts (and what ones to steer away from!)
Should you manage your household finances by reviewing every single cent that you earn and spend each month, or is it ok to take a more laid-back approach? Turns out, the answer is both.
In this episode, we discuss why I recommend most couples give themselves a 3 to 6 month financial bootcamp or financial cleanse to get control of their finances, and then move into "maintenance mode" to make your financial progress sustainable in the long run.
Is it insane for a financial planner to say that financial plans are (almost) useless? Probably. But as you'll see in this episode, I make a big distinction between financial planNING and "financial plans". The process of financial planning is absolutely invaluable in helping you create the life you love - the financial plan itself is only one small part of this process! Listen to today's episode to learn more.
Short and to-the-point episode today. If you're looking to improve the way you and your partner communicate about money in your marriage - without spending hours working on it - this is the episode for you!
When we think about differences between spouses when it comes to money, we tend to immediately think of spending vs saving habits. But there's a second common difference that is just as important to handle.
In this episode, we talk about the other common difference in priorities that many couples have when it comes to their finances - and how to manage these differences to make your marriage thrive.
If there's one word that summarizes how most couples feel about their money, it's "anxiety".
In this episode, we'll talk through some of my favorite strategies to help you and your spouse kick financial anxiety to the curb - for good!
I don't know if I entirely agree with this assessment, but it's definitely the most entertaining piece of feedback I've gotten about this podcast so far. But, I kind of see where this listener is coming from!
In this episode, we discuss how I've made the shift from a type A, numbers-driven financial analyst to a financial planner that emphasizes building your own criteria for success rather than "just" trying to maximize the numbers.
Black Friday is the biggest spending day of the year. So, why not talk about how to spend money in a way that is likely to increase your happiness.
In this episode, we discuss one of the key ways you can use your money to increase your well-being: buying experiences, rather than things. If you'd like to learn more, I highly recommend checking out the book I mentioned in the episode, Happy Money: the Science of Happier Spending.
People who are willing to give money away are more likely to accumulate wealth than those who aren't. It might seem like a paradox... but I've found it to be true!
In this Thanksgiving episode of the Money and Marriage podcast, we discuss the role that giving can - and should - play in your financial plan, even when you don't have much room for giving in your budget.
What better topic to talk about on the day before Thanksgiving than giving thanks, amirite?
In this episode, we talk about how to take a step back from your day-to-day financial concerns and anxiety to appreciate what you do have financially - even in a year as tough as this one.
Questions can serve several vital purposes - in financial planning, and in your marriage. My clients will attest that I ask a lot of questions during our meetings... and for good reason!
In this episode, we discuss the ways you can use questions to validate your infomation, work through obstacles, and decide on the right solution.
In this episode, we cover the three different types of "money fights" that are most common for couples, as well as the strategies to use to resolve each type of fight.
In today's world, it's so easy to feel like you're behind everyone else when it comes to your money. In today's episode, we discuss the role that FOMO affects the way we manage money, and review three strategies to help you manage the role that FOMO plays in your life.
Most of the time when financial professionals talk about budgeting and saving money, the takeaway is that you should be spending less, and saving more.
In today's episode, we're going to talk about these issues from the opposite point of view. In what circumstances does it make sense for you to be spending more money? If you're the type of person who feels guilty or anxious about spending money, this is the episode for you!
Personal finance might look like a math problem.... but it's not. (Or, at least, personal finance isn't entirely a math problem.)
In this episode, we do a deep dive into why the couples I see make the fastest financial progress are often the ones that take the exact opposite approach that the spreadsheets say should be the right answer, and what you should do to accelerate your family's financial progress.
“Wait. You share a VENMO account with your wife?!?" 😲
Four years later, I still enjoy seeing the reactions from my friends when I send them a Venmo payment from “Mary Kathryn and Bill Nelson”. In this episode, I share why my wife and I have chosen to combine accounts to that degree, and why I don't always recommend this approach to couples I work with.
2020 might seem like the end of days at times... but those are not the four horsemen we're talking about!
In this episode, we give an overview of Dr. John Gottman's four communication styles between couples that are leading indicators of divorce - dubbed the "Four Horsemen" - and how each of the "horsemen" can appear in financial conversations. Finally, we'll also give some suggestions as to how to handle each of these communication styles to lead to better communication about your finances.
There are a lot of different ways you can get on the same page as your spouse, but there are four financial areas that are especially important for your marriage to flourish. In this episode, we do a deep dive into each of these four categories. To learn more, visit pacesetterplanning.com/our-process/
At this time of year, most people are waiting until New Year's Resolution season to set - and forget - financial goals. In this episode, I talk about why before the holidays is often the best time of year to start putting your money goals into motion, and discuss a few good starting points for couples in setting end-of-year financial goals.
How are you doing financially? If I asked you to evaluate the state of your finances now vs a year ago, could you give me an answer? It's important to be able to track your financial progress. In this episode, I share my three favorite ways to measure progress and warn against using a certain, common score as the sole arbiter of the state of your finances.
"What's the best way to combine our finances after we are married?" is probably the most common question I get from engaged and newlywed couples. In this episode, we do a deep dive into the three ways you can set up your household finances after you're married, and walk through the pros and cons of each.
Nobody likes talking about money - but it's important that you work on building this skill. In this episode, we talk through a few small steps you can take to get better at talking about money - with your spouse, and otherwise.
There's a key step to managing your money effectively that most couples overlook. Tune into this episode to learn how to take this important financial step. And if you want more help, I've prepared a free training to help implement the material from this episode at pacesetterplanning.com/moneyandmarriage
We've all been there - you decide that you're going to finally stick to your budget. It goes well for a few days... but before you know it, your budget has fallen completely by the wayside.
In this episode, I walk you through the seven most common reasons that couples don't stick to their budgets, and show you how to make the changes you need to make your budget stick for good.
Can money buy you happiness? Can money strengthen your relationship?
Turns out, the answer to these questions just might be more ambiguous than you'd expect. The Beatles might have technically been right that money can't buy love... but that doesn't mean you can separate the two, either! Tune into today's episode to learn more.
How to make the shift from saying things like "money is the only thing we ever fight about" to feeling empowered and on the same page financially with your partner. To get access to my FAVORITE exercise to help couples get on the same page with their money, head to pacesetterplanning.com/moneyandmarriage
A good financial plan shouldn't just strengthen you financially - it should strengthen your marriage, too. That might seem silly at first glance, but in this episode, I tell stories from my own marriage - publicly, for the first time - that highlight how a good financial plan can help you navigate emotionally-charged decisions as a couple. I'll be honest - I've been holding back on sharing some of these stories for a long time... and it's both exciting and terrifying to share them with you in this episode.
I launched Pacesetter Planning back in 2016 with the goal of changing the way that millennial engaged and newlywed couples manage their money together. Join me in this first episode of the Money and Marriage Podcast as we explore the key themes I'll share on this journey to help you and your partner use your money to create the lives you love - together.