Kintsugi Life: Recent Episodes
Toby Hazlewood
Kintsugi Life - a podcast that encourages the learning, growth and strengthening as we work through hardship and challenge in all aspects of life, including in business, relationships, health and wellbeing, physical and personal development. It applies the principles of the Japanese art form of Kintsugi, where past damage is valued as precious to the item being repaired. We learn, grow and strengthen as we work through times of challenge and emerge better equipped to live the life we aspire to.
For more information head to tobyhazlewood.com
You can also email me at toby@tobyhazlewood.com
In this episode I consider the three basic options that we all have when faced with something we don't like. It's nothing new, but we all seem to waste time looking or hoping for a fourth or fifth option as if one will miraculously appear... it won't!
You can also read an article I wrote on this subject at https://bit.ly/3e7VU6p
If you have any comments or feedback on this episode you can reach out by email on toby@tobyhazlewood.com
In this episode I consider an alternate definition to the word 'Sin' and learn how it applies to the process by which we work towards our goals and targets in life.
You can also read an article I wrote on this subject at https://bit.ly/3eGq27X
If you have any comments or feedback on this episode you can reach out by email on toby@tobyhazlewood.com
In this episode I consider the three components of meaningful work as identified by Malcolm Gladwell in his book 'Outliers'. The same three principles seem to apply equally to creating meaning in our lives too.
You can also read an article I wrote on this subject at https://bit.ly/2QILmBI
If you have any comments or feedback on this episode you can reach out by email on toby@tobyhazlewood.com
In this episode I consider how the same statistical odds apply to each and every one of us in life - these explain why some of the good things happen to us but also the bad things too. When we accept this, it helps life to seem more predictable.
You can also read an article I wrote on this subject at https://bit.ly/3sCaA2j
If you have any comments or feedback on this episode you can reach out by email on toby@tobyhazlewood.com
In this episode I consider the expression 'Don't hate the player, hate the game and reflect how it helps to explain how sometimes we direct our anger towards the wrong people or things when facing a struggle.
You can also read an article I wrote on this subject at https://bit.ly/2PgUqgn
If you have any comments or feedback on this episode you can reach out by email on toby@tobyhazlewood.com
In this episode I consider eight prompts to help us think differently about forgiveness and what it means to forgive.
You can also read an article I wrote on this subject at https://bit.ly/3dvW85R
If you have any comments or feedback on this episode you can reach out by email on toby@tobyhazlewood.com
In this episode I consider the lessons I've learned about relationships that would have served me well if I'd known them at the age of 21.
You can also read an article I wrote on this subject at http://bit.ly/38xmt1F
If you have any comments or feedback on this episode you can reach out by email on toby@tobyhazlewood.com
In this episode I discuss how it can sometimes be counter-productive to rush into action when it might be better to pause and consider doing nothing or holding off impulsive action.
You can also read an article I wrote on this subject at http://bit.ly/3rJ6zZk
If you have any comments or feedback on this episode you can reach out by email on toby@tobyhazlewood.com
In this episode I consider the way that we often focus on the end-state and the labels that life will give us rather than on following the process and putting in the work to get there.
You can also read an article I wrote on this subject at http://bit.ly/3rKWgnJ
If you have any comments or feedback on this episode you can reach out by email on toby@tobyhazlewood.com
In this episode I consider the many important aspects of empathy and the many benefits it can serve to adopt and practice empathy in our lives.
You can also read an article I wrote on this subject at http://bit.ly/39O3qBc
If you have any comments or feedback on this episode you can reach out by email on toby@tobyhazlewood.com
This episode considers the many joys and benefits of recapturing that child-like enthusiasm for learning and education. As adults, many lose it and it's a real shame as a curious mind can bring enormous benefit to our life.
You can also read an article I wrote on this subject at http://bit.ly/2MB1KSI
If you have any comments or feedback on this episode you can reach out by email on toby@tobyhazlewood.com
I've been considering the many ways in which we humans seem to demonstrate an innate impatience about anything that will take time to deliver results and in this episode I attempt to unpack why this is and why I think we can do better.
You can also read an article I wrote on this subject at http://bit.ly/36FAMAf
If you have any comments or feedback on this episode you can reach out by email on toby@tobyhazlewood.com
This episode is based around a list of 10 lessons and reflections on life, that I have been contemplating as I turn 45.
You can also read an article I wrote on this subject at http://bit.ly/3jlCj3F
If you have any comments or feedback on this episode you can reach out by email on toby@tobyhazlewood.com
This episode is all about the vital ingredients for forming and maintaining a successful relationship. It's simple, and yet not easy but the same principles matter in all scenarios, whether personal or professional.
You can also read an article I wrote on this subject at http://bit.ly/3bFZOme
If you have any comments or feedback on this episode you can reach out by email on toby@tobyhazlewood.com
At this time of year it's common to decide on new ways to change our lives. In this episode I share why I think intentions are better than resolutions in supporting us in instigating change in our lives.
You can also read an article I wrote on this subject at http://bit.ly/38GRikM
If you have any comments or feedback on this episode you can reach out by email on toby@tobyhazlewood.com
In this the first episode of the new year, I want to share my one big tip for getting the most out of your life - It's about getting more time in your day, not just a series of success hacks and routines.
You can also read an article I wrote on this subject at https://bit.ly/3qlz5A8
If you have any comments or feedback on this episode you can reach out by email on toby@tobyhazlewood.com
This episode revisits a short reading from the piece - Christmas Festivities by Charles Dickens. It's a favourite of mine and whether you celebrate Christmas or not, I hope you'll find the sentiments of the piece as heart warming and entertaining as I do!
Happy holidays and Merry Christmas to you and yours. I hope that 2021 is a great year for us all.
If you have any comments or feedback on this episode you can reach out by email on toby@tobyhazlewood.com
We're conditioned to believe that grit, resilience and endless commitment are what it takes to succeed. But there's also a time for giving in gracefully. This short episode considers why that is.
You can also read an article I wrote on this subject at https://bit.ly/33AeFtx
If you have any comments or feedback on this episode you can reach out by email on toby@tobyhazlewood.com
An examination of the tendency for life to become more complex the older we get, rather than becoming easier.
You can also read an article I wrote on this subject at https://bit.ly/3lEZCVH
If you have any comments or feedback on this episode you can reach out by email on toby@tobyhazlewood.com
As a parent I'm always struggling to adapt to the latest challenges presented by my kids - of late it's the surly and indifferent attitude of my teenage daughters. In this episode I share my thoughts on how to deal with such tests from teenagers and others who react in such a way.
You can also read an article I wrote on this subject at https://bit.ly/3ltHf5L
If you have any comments or feedback on this episode you can reach out by email on toby@tobyhazlewood.com
Taking the lessons from breaking in a new pair of hiking boots, I share my thoughts on how we often go into new projects and ventures in life, expecting that everything will feel easy and comfortable to begin with. This is seldom the case, nor should it be a surprise.
You can also read an article I wrote on this subject at https://bit.ly/3l4DUuE
If you have any comments or feedback on this episode you can reach out by email on toby@tobyhazlewood.com
Some things happen in life that seem devoid of meaning and purpose - like they're merely a cause for pain and hurt. In this episode I discuss how I've been searching for some sense of meaning and purpose behind the loss of a family member. The same principle can apply to other times of extreme hurt too.
You can also read an article I wrote on this subject at https://bit.ly/3l62vz1
If you have any comments or feedback on this episode you can reach out by email on toby@tobyhazlewood.com
When we're trying to focus on how to improve our lives or achieve a goal it is common to focus on what we have to do or achieve. This episode discusses the idea of inverting our thinking to focus instead on what we can remove from or avoid in life to improve our overall situation.
You can also read an article I wrote on this subject at https://bit.ly/2JGqTtq
If you have any comments or feedback on this episode you can reach out by email on toby@tobyhazlewood.com
Accepted tactics for overcoming trauma and hardship often focus on grit and resilience to overcome the issue. This episode discusses the idea of accepting that through trauma the most appropriate response may be to let ourselves be changed by it.
You can also read an article I wrote on this subject at https://bit.ly/32j43P3
If you have any comments or feedback on this episode you can reach out by email on toby@tobyhazlewood.com
When we're trying to focus on how to improve our lives or achieve a goal it is common to focus on what we have to do or achieve. This episode discusses the idea of inverting our thinking to focus instead on what we can remove from or avoid in life to improve our overall situation.
You can also read an article I wrote on this subject at https://bit.ly/3lbci6K
If you have any comments or feedback on this episode you can reach out by email on toby@tobyhazlewood.com
In this episode I try and unpack why it is that I occasionally buy a lottery ticket - something that has a very low statistical chance of paying off. I discuss how we can see much of what we do in life as ways of building in hope for the future.
You can also read an article I wrote on this subject at https://bit.ly/34vy0vj
If you have any comments or feedback on this episode you can reach out by email on toby@tobyhazlewood.com
This episode is my take on the role of silence and the power of a quiet life in helping us live calmly, peacefully and productively.
Lockdown has been a useful reminder of how much I value silence in my life and I discuss in this episode how silence (and noise) plays a role in my life.
You can also read an article I wrote on this subject at https://bit.ly/2GlsKCM
If you have any comments or feedback on this episode you can reach out by email on toby@tobyhazlewood.com
This episode considers the idea of happiness and whether we're right to hope for (or even expect) perpetual happiness. Happy ever after is a myth.
We need happiness but we also need sadness and disappointment in order to appreciate the good times. This will hopefully help explain why.
You can also read an article I wrote on this subject at https://bit.ly/2SC7yup
If you have any comments or feedback on this episode you can reach out by email on toby@tobyhazlewood.com
I have a mental block about Mondays and often overlook that Monday is the same as any other day of the week with as much promise and opportunity as any other. I often seem to single out other points in time for arbitrary reasons while overlooking the fact that dates in the future are often meaningless and paradoxically as precious as any other. In this episode, I discuss my thinking on the subject.
You can also read an article I wrote on this subject at https://bit.ly/3haSONe
If you have any comments or feedback on this episode you can reach out by email on toby@tobyhazlewood.com
When you're feeling like others simply don't get where you're coming from, consider that perhaps the misunderstanding stems from you putting yourself in the middle of all things which may be what is preventing you from being truly understood and appreciated by others.
You can also read an article I wrote on this subject at https://bit.ly/35l6fba
If you have any comments or feedback on this episode you can reach out by email on toby@tobyhazlewood.com
I've demonstrated a history in my life of being poor at asking for and receiving help from others. There can be a misconception about those who ask for help being weak or needy - the opposite is often true. To understand where you have a weakness or need for assistance and to then seek it out is actually a superpower of sorts. In this episode I talk about why that is.
You can also read an article I wrote on this subject at https://bit.ly/336Kx7U
If you have any comments or feedback on this episode you can reach out by email on toby@tobyhazlewood.com
I took most of the month of August to go off the grid, using my smartphone minimally and accessing email, social media and news in general far less frequently than normal. This episode discusses my experiences and shares the lessons learned.
You can also read an article I wrote on this subject at https://bit.ly/33cs0a9
If you have any comments or feedback on this episode you can reach out by email on toby@tobyhazlewood.com
When procrastinating over whether (or whether not) to start something, more often than not we're held back by fear. It's either fear of failure, or fear of success (that the outcome may not be as good as we hoped). In this episode I dissect why the only choice open to us in times of procrastination is to take the plunge and do what we're putting off. It's the only way we will find out what happens next.
You can also read an article I wrote on this subject at https://bit.ly/2X5vRnl
If you have any comments or feedback on this episode you can reach out by email on toby@tobyhazlewood.com
When my daughter went off to university I tried to ensure she was prepared for the world as all parents do. One thing I was really concerned she should understand was the rules of time, and how we are custodians of how we use our time and of what we get done in life. This episode describes these rules as they apply in our lives.
You can also read an article I wrote on this subject at https://bit.ly/2DdK1M2
If you have any comments or feedback on this episode you can reach out by email on toby@tobyhazlewood.com
It can be challenging in daily life to understand whether our efforts are paying off or supporting us in our goals. In this episode I discuss how many of the things we devote our energies towards only come about with the passing of time and as a culmination of our efforts. It can be useful to be reminded of this from time to time as we strive to overcome difficulty or to achieve challenging things.
You can also read an article I wrote on this subject at https://bit.ly/2CVGnqn
If you have any comments or feedback on this episode you can reach out by email on toby@tobyhazlewood.com
As I reflect on the 'rules of thumb' surrounding finance and investing, it strikes me that there are equivalent rules for life more generally. In this episode I explore some of these rules and describe the parallels between the world of finance and daily life.
You can also read an article I wrote on this subject at https://bit.ly/3jMqxio
If you have any comments or feedback on this episode you can reach out by email on toby@tobyhazlewood.com
In this episode I share how the quote that is the title of the episode came to my notice, and how it seems to signpost a way of living life positively. The conscience can be a good guide to the actions we should take and how we should act and treat others.
You can also read an article I wrote on this subject at https://bit.ly/3jzqdU5
If you have any comments or feedback on this episode you can reach out by email on toby@tobyhazlewood.com
We often cause our own problems and feelings of dissatisfaction through wrestling for control over things that are outside of our control. Letting go of these is not the same as giving up hope of influencing our life though, and in this episode I discuss how we can take control of things within our influence and be more stoic about what is outside our control.
You can also read an article I wrote on this subject at https://bit.ly/3fYbCzr
If you have any comments or feedback on this episode you can reach out by email on toby@tobyhazlewood.com
In this episode I discuss my thoughts on how our natural tendency as humans to take as much as we can, as quickly as possible when given the opportunity, doesn't bode well for the measured adoption of freedoms as lockdown measures start to be lifted. In life we seem to have a tendency to go too far at times - I know I do. With freedoms being granted to us once again, will we react in a careful and considered fashion or go wild? Either could happen.
You can also read an article I wrote on this subject at https://bit.ly/38orOH0
If you have any comments or feedback on this episode you can reach out by email on toby@tobyhazlewood.com
In this episode I explore the ways in which we kid ourselves that we have a good reason to do or not to do something when we know deep down that it's not the right thing. In a time when there is so much that we need to be doing as a society to prevent the spread of Covid-19 (such as wearing masks for example) it seems necessary to remember that sometimes we should do what's right, simply because it IS RIGHT!
You can also read an article I wrote on this subject at https://bit.ly/3gmotLp
If you have any comments or feedback on this episode you can reach out by email on toby@tobyhazlewood.com
In this episode I explore how having my diary cleared of commitments and plans by Coronavirus has been refreshing in prompting me to reflect on how I'll approach commitments and opportunities in future. I'd become used to rushing from one thing to the next, not always savouring or valuing what I was in the midst of. No longer will that be my approach! This episode describes why.
You can also read an article I wrote on this subject at https://bit.ly/2zPLsyy
If you have any comments or feedback on this episode you can reach out by email on toby@tobyhazlewood.com
In this episode I explore the idea that our definition of Success can be constraining when it merely means more than we have already. Perhaps we need instead to consider it is successful when we have all that we need? With Covid-19 stripping people of their income and health it focuses the mind on being able to be grateful and satisfied with what we have.
In the episode I refer to the book 'Stillness is the Key' by Ryan Holiday. I'd highly recommend you reading it if you are interested in the ideas in this podcast.
You can also read an article I wrote on this subject at https://bit.ly/3dWNbkr
If you have any comments or feedback on this episode you can reach out by email on toby@tobyhazlewood.com
In this episode I discuss my thoughts on the concept of the Truth. We are all searching for the truth, we'd like to believe we know the truth and we seek the truth constantly. But, do we really believe it when it doesn't suit us to? Why do we concoct truths that suit us and selectively believe other things even if they're irrefutable?
You can also read an article I wrote on this subject at https://bit.ly/3dnINuj
If you have any comments or feedback on this episode you can reach out by email on toby@tobyhazlewood.com
What are you waiting for? When we hang on for something in life to change, or for life itself to fundamentally improve, we are in fact overlooking that what we have right now is what is normal. It may not be what we used to have and had grown accustomed to. It may not be what we'd like it to be. It is what it is though.
As we go through the Covid-19 Pandemic, there's a lot to be said for accepting that maybe things aren't likely to return to being as they used to be. At the very least, we shouldn't' spend our lives waiting for it to go back to how it was.
You can also read an article in the same topic at https://bit.ly/2Wu50Af
If you have any comments or feedback on this episode you can reach out by email on toby@tobyhazlewood.com
It seems right now that many are fixated on who to blame for the Coronavirus crisis. Whether seeking to blame individuals, governments or nations, it seems obvious that there's a time when it's appropriate to look for root cause, to establish what went wrong and a time for focusing instead on solving the problem at hand. In this episode I explore the idea of when it's the right time to look for fault and cause, and when we'd be better off getting on and trying to solve the problem at hand.
You can also read an article in the same topic at https://bit.ly/356rr2q
If you have any comments or feedback on this episode you can reach out by email on toby@tobyhazlewood.com
In this episode I explore how the lessons learned from living through the Covid-19 lockdown have made me think about what I can do to prepare better for the future, financially, materially, spiritually and emotionally. All of life's experiences bring forth lessons and it's important to take these onboard to live better in future.
You can also read an article in the same topic at https://bit.ly/2RWEvBW
If you have any comments or feedback on this episode you can reach out by email on toby@tobyhazlewood.com
In this episode I want to share how I approach times of adversity such as the one we find ourselves in the midst of, right now. It's a means of reducing overwhelm and allowing ourselves to focus on what's right in front of us.
You can also read an article in the same topic at https://bit.ly/39OpyYG
If you have any comments or feedback on this episode you can reach out by email on toby@tobyhazlewood.com
In this episode I explore some of the positive effects that I've already observed as the current Coronavirus pandemic unfolds and which I've experienced in my own life.
You can also read the article at https://bit.ly/2RiP9CW
I hope that you and your loved ones are keeping well and that you remain safe and healthy.
If you have any comments or feedback on this episode you can reach out by email on toby@tobyhazlewood.com
In this episode I examine the difficulties I sometimes experience as I deal with feelings of enthusiasm, quickly followed by despondency and a loss of motivation. I share how re-reading the book 'The Obstacle Is The Way' by Ryan Holiday helped me understand how Stoic philosophy encourages us to respond to obstacles that we encounter in life.
You can also read the article at https://bit.ly/2QX355b
If you have any comments or feedback on this episode you can reach out by email on toby@tobyhazlewood.com
This episode is based on an article I wrote to share the importance of doing the small stuff in life well, and without question.
Often we convince ourselves that the small actions don't make a difference, and we obsess over how to make the big things happen in life: love, happiness and fulfilment. Instead, we need to give the small things equal attention and focus.
You can also read the article at http://bit.ly/3cY8mTF
If you have any comments or feedback on this episode you can reach out by email on toby@tobyhazlewood.com
This episode is based on an article I wrote to examine why I feel so much guilt as a parent on a near daily basis.
Guilt comes from multiple sources and lots of different places in life and it's really not a helpful feeling. In this episode I've tried to examine where my guilt comes from as a parent, and the things that prompt it in my life as a parent and in life more generally.
You can also read the article at http://bit.ly/2VNIF1J
If you have any comments or feedback on this episode you can reach out by email on toby@tobyhazlewood.com
This episode is a bit of a break from the norm. I wanted to share an article that I read recently and which I found extremely profound, moving and thought provoking. It's written by a guy called Erik Rittenberry and is called 'The Comfortable Life is Killing You'.
What I particularly enjoyed about it is that it seems to capture perfectly the general ills and malaise that seems to be afflicting so many of us in daily life, but also presents some remediating things we can do to tackle the situation. Not all the changes Erik recommends will be easy to take on, but we need to seriously consider them nonetheless.
I hope you find the piece as interesting and moving as I did, and if so I hope you'll head over to medium, offer a few claps for the piece and maybe check out some more of Erik's work.
You can also read the article at http://bit.ly/2vnugyB
If you have any comments or feedback on this episode you can reach out by email on toby@tobyhazlewood.com
In this episode I want to share some of the experiences I've had as a divorced parent in setting up a structure for raising my kids after divorce.
The Critical Success Factor for me and my ex-wife in raising our kids successfully since divorcing 13 years ago has been to strive for equality in our relationship as parents. In this episode I share how this works and why we opted for it.
You can also read an article I wrote on the same subject at http://bit.ly/37kmYbS
If you have any comments or feedback on this episode you can reach out by email on toby@tobyhazlewood.com
This episode discusses the relative merits of goals, and considers whether everything we do in life should be driven by a goal or undertaken with a goal in mind.
I discuss how I've experienced a feeling where goals become arduous and sometimes prevent me from experiencing the joy and fulfilment of simply doing things for the joy of doing them.
You can also read an article I wrote on the same subject at http://bit.ly/2vzmG3u
If you have any comments or feedback on this episode you can reach out by email on toby@tobyhazlewood.com
This episode touches upon another aspect of Stoic philosophy - the concept of Memento Mori. This centers upon remembering that we will all die sooner or later, and guides that we should live in a way that reflects this.
In the episode I share a few ways in which I try and live, being mindful of the prospect of death but without letting it make me live carelessly or without due care.
You can also read an article I wrote on the same subject at http://bit.ly/2OzF3Mm
If you have any comments or feedback on this episode you can reach out by email on toby@tobyhazlewood.com
This episode looks at how Stoic Philosophers and people like Bruce Lee have identified that it's pointless hoping for an easier life - instead we should be trying to prepare ourselves so that we can cope with life and get the best out of it.
It doesn't make life easy, but it helps us to get the best from life by being best-equipped to tackle it head on.
You can also read an article I wrote on the same subject at http://bit.ly/2O4efnt
If you have any comments or feedback on this episode you can reach out by email on toby@tobyhazlewood.com
We often labour under the misapprehension that the complexities and challenges of an adult's life demands complex and more comprehensive rule. Instead, I believe we'd do well to treat ourselves as kids a bit more frequently to guide ourselves in getting the right things done.
This episode describes how I reached this conclusion and how it can be practiced in life. .
You can also read an article I wrote on the same subject at http://bit.ly/2t3UJQy
If you have any comments or feedback on this episode you can reach out by email on toby@tobyhazlewood.com
It's hard when you feel as though you're not as good as you'd like to be in any aspect or role of your life. Feelings of inadequacy and of being lost in life can be overcome though
This episode describes how I believe we can make small changes in life to become a little more competent and to overcome feelings of inadequacy, in many roles that we hold in life.
You can also read an article I wrote on the same subject at http://bit.ly/2t9Ndnq
If you have any comments or feedback on this episode you can reach out by email on toby@tobyhazlewood.com
I'm certain that many people think that there are gurus or experts who have life all figured out. I suspect most kids secretly believe that this is the case for their parents. I'm more convinced than ever that nobody really has it all figured out though.
This episode describes how I reached this conclusion following some discussions with my grown-up daughter and how I have tried to convey to her that this is a simple fact of life. There is no secret, nobody has it all figured out.
You can also read an article I wrote on the same subject at http://bit.ly/389xFie
If you have any comments or feedback on this episode you can reach out by email on toby@tobyhazlewood.com
It's good to be aware of how you like to spend your time, as a means of examining your strengths and weaknesses. I've long been someone who is comfortable alone, but lately I think I've been neglecting the importance of spending time with other people and around others to benefit from feeling part of a collective and community.
This episode is about me sharing how solitude seems to have turned to loneliness in my life and what I think I need to do about it to address the situation.
You can also read an article I wrote on the same subject at http://bit.ly/2FR3nEW
If you have any comments or feedback on this episode you can reach out by email on toby@tobyhazlewood.com
Many of us feel frustrated that the world and life aren't exactly as we would like them to be. It's tempting to wish for the circumstances to change to favour our skills and preferences rather than us being forced to adapt to get what we want out of life.
This episode shares my thoughts on this subject, describing how to think of the need for change and how we can best adapt to the necessity to be the ones who are responsible for getting what we want from life.
You can also read an article I wrote on the same subject at http://bit.ly/360syzi
If you have any comments or feedback on this episode you can reach out by email on toby@tobyhazlewood.com
As I examine my life, I become more convinced of the power of minor changes to my mindset and my actions in improving my life as a whole. Living more gratefully has been a game changer. I'm now focused on also living with more empathy such that by being more considerate of and caring towards others, my own life will be enriched as part of the overall collective experience of life.
This episode shares my thoughts on empathy, how it can improve our lives and how I am trying to employ it more in my interactions with others.
You can also read an article I wrote on the same subject at http://bit.ly/2MPEfSL
If you have any comments or feedback on this episode you can reach out by email on toby@tobyhazlewood.com
Many of us have mixed feelings when it comes to the end of one year and the start of the next. It can be inspiring, triggering feelings of optimism and of a fresh-start. For others, it can be a daunting and overwhelming time.
In this episode I explore the reasons behind my own mixed emotions regarding the new year in an effort to identify how things can hopefully be brought into perspective.
You can also read an article I wrote on the same subject at http://bit.ly/2sF4swy
If you have any comments or feedback on this episode you can reach out by email on toby@tobyhazlewood.com
On Christmas Eve, I wanted to share a short reading from a piece by Charles Dickens, called 'Christmas Festivities'.
It's one of my favourite festive readings, and whether you are celebrating Christmas or not, I think there are a few messages of hope and positivity for all, in this text.
If you're celebrating Christmas, I wish you well and hope you have a relaxing and peaceful break. I'll be back in 2020!
Merry Christmas!
If you have any comments or feedback on this episode you can reach out by email on toby@tobyhazlewood.com
One of the biggest challenges I face in life is in parenting my teenage daughters. I can sometimes struggle to guide them on the right path and a lot of the tension comes from trying to help them to see my perspective.
In this episode I use some examples of the ways in which my guidance to them can sometimes be lost, and how I'm trying to help them to understand what I'm doing and why. It's a similar process as I believe we'd all do well to adopt in dealing with others who struggle to understand our motives.
You can also read an article I wrote on the same subject at http://bit.ly/2suJuQE
If you have any comments or feedback on this episode you can reach out by email on toby@tobyhazlewood.com
At the end of the year, we often feel obliged to review progress made over the last 12 months, whether that's in measuring our growth or trying to see if life is a little better than it was 12 months ago. In me, this tends to invoke a sense of panic that time is ebbing away or regret for time I've wasted.
In this episode, I share a few ideas on how we can lose time if we're not careful to govern how we are using our time mindfully and purposefully.
You can also read an article I wrote on the same subject at http://bit.ly/2LUj3uv
If you have any comments or feedback on this episode you can reach out by email on toby@tobyhazlewood.com
The 50th episode of Kintsugi Life... A reminder that we should try and worry less and prioritise being happy a bit more!
I share a few of the mind-hacks that I try and use to remind myself how little worrying helps.
You can also read an article I wrote on the same subject at http://bit.ly/34K8nWP
If you have any comments or feedback on this episode you can reach out by email on toby@tobyhazlewood.com
In this episode, I share how a particularly painful experience in a relationship taught me that we can't solve someone else's problems for them, through changing our actions.
The experiences came from managing the insecurities and irrational jealousy that she brought to the relationship, by changing my own behaviour. You can also read an article I wrote on this topic at http://bit.ly/2PcoV2U
If you have any comments or feedback on this episode you can reach out by email on toby@tobyhazlewood.com
Routines and habits can be comforting and helpful in working through times of adversity or for maximising what we achieve in daily life. They can also at times become constraining and limiting if we become set in our ways or find ourselves merely going through the motions of things.
In this episode I discuss ways to shake things up to ensure you're getting value out of your routines and habits. You can also read an article I wrote on this topic at http://bit.ly/2rOrG2r
If you have any comments or feedback on this episode you can reach out by email on toby@tobyhazlewood.com
When we're blessed with a good day, when things seem to have gone our way, there are often still ways in which we could have made things even better.
In this episode I'll share some ways in which I've learned to be able to recognise with gratitude the good days, and then undertaken to build upon these by identifying the ways in which I could have done things even better.
You can also read an article I wrote on this topic at http://bit.ly/2DIbulY
If you have any comments or feedback on this episode you can reach out by email on toby@tobyhazlewood.com
There is great power in adopting an attitude of gratitude in life, to be able to look for the things and events in our life for which we can feel grateful rather than those that merely bring us down. There is ALWAYS something to be grateful for, if only that we are still breathing!
In this episode, I share how we can choose how we look at the events of a day through two separate lenses to see them as either positives for which we can be grateful, or as negatives that are conspiring against us.. You can also read an article I wrote on this topic at http://bit.ly/2qHevAl
If you have any comments or feedback on this episode you can reach out by email on toby@tobyhazlewood.com
When we set goals, or aspire to get through a time of adversity, there's a tendency to focus upon the perceived gaps in our lives or the ways in which our life doesn't measure up. An alternative perspective is to consider how much of what we want is already within our grasp if we can just make a few tweaks to our life.
In this episode, I share how this has evidenced in my life, and how I've been able to recognise the ways I have things I aspire to, already. You can also read an article I wrote on this topic at http://bit.ly/2D5pGFj
If you have any comments or feedback on this episode you can reach out by email on toby@tobyhazlewood.com
At times we all get carried away looking too far into the future. It's like the way kids look forward to Christmas or their birthday. We fixate on what's coming, ignoring the present moment and all it has to offer.
In this episode, I share some observations on how this occurs and how we can train ourselves to do it less. You can also read an article I wrote on this topic at http://bit.ly/3487jeW
If you have any comments or feedback on this episode you can reach out by email on toby@tobyhazlewood.com
Momentum is a powerful force in helping us to build positive habits and to push on with difficult actions as we take on adversity. It can be built up in a positive direction, but we can also end up with momentum reinforcing a decline if we're not careful.
In this episode, I share some experiences of the ways that momentum can exhibit its effects in my life, and the way to respond when momentum in a positive direction is lost. You can also read an article I wrote on this topic at http://bit.ly/2Q6zF53
If you have any comments or feedback on this episode you can reach out by email on toby@tobyhazlewood.com
We are each a composite of the bad and the good experiences we've been through in life. In this way, we should be proud of who we are as each experience makes us the person we are.
In this episode, I share why I occasionally suffer doubt as I consider sharing my own experiences in the hope that it may help others. I share how I overcome this and what my rationale is for doing so. You can also read an article I wrote on this topic at http://bit.ly/2O11nNV
If you have any comments or feedback on this episode you can reach out by email on toby@tobyhazlewood.com
Divorce is one of the greatest adversities that many face in their life. This episode is about me sharing my own experiences of divorce and in the years that followed as I built my life, did the work to overcome the pain and to become a better person, and in remarrying.
It's not easy for anyone, but divorce doesn't have to become something that labels you or defines you forever. I share how I've approached life since divorcing. You can also read an article I wrote on this topic at http://bit.ly/2KaeYl8
If you have any comments or feedback on this episode you can reach out by email on toby@tobyhazlewood.com
Self-belief, self-sufficiency and self-reliance are all traits that are based upon being comfortable in ourselves. When we are okay with the silence, and self-sufficient then we are more healthily able to enter into relationships as we see fit.
In this episode, I share why I believe that being comfortable in myself and when alone, has helped me in each of the main roles that I fill in life.. You can also read an article I wrote on this topic at http://bit.ly/2JPaZdj
If you have any comments or feedback on this episode you can reach out by email on toby@tobyhazlewood.com
It's easy to convince ourselves that the big actions are all we need to worry about whether we're trying to complete a project or work through a challenge or towards a goal.
In this episode, I share why I believe we need to give equal focus, energy and attention to the small steps too; the little actions that each contribute to the accomplishment of the major endeavours. You can read an article I wrote on this topic at http://bit.ly/2NCWz1c
If you have any comments or feedback on this episode you can reach out by email on toby@tobyhazlewood.com
There are many powerful attributes that we can employ in our lives to improve our situation: gratitude, empathy and patience are just a few examples. Forgiveness is another, that has immense power for changing how we view the past and releasing the hold it has over us.
In this episode, I share why I think forgiveness is so important and how its effects can benefit you.. You can also read an article I wrote on this topic at http://bit.ly/340fBVz
If you have any comments or feedback on this episode you can reach out by email on toby@tobyhazlewood.com
Sponsorships: on for this episode
When we aim for massive goals or 10x improvements, it can be counter-productive in that we become daunted by the goal or overwhelmed by the things we need to do to get there. The same goes for trying to work our way out of a negative situation in life.
In this episode, I share how I try and adopt an approach of making incremental steps and progress towards bigger goals as a means of staying committed to the cause.. You can also read an article I wrote on this topic at http://bit.ly/33ZI7Xr
If you have any comments or feedback on this episode you can reach out by email on toby@tobyhazlewood.com
Sponsorships: on for this episode
It is seductive to be fixated on the results we want to see in our lives, or an end-state that represents where we aspire to get to. In reality, focusing on the prize can divert our attentions and lower our motivation to keep on pushing towards it. Instead, we'd be far better placed to commit our attention and efforts to the process, so that we enjoy the journey as well as the destination.
In this episode, I share a story about my career and how it has emerged, that taught me the need to love each day and every step towards the prize. You can also read an article I wrote on this topic at http://bit.ly/2MVdNXj
If you have any comments or feedback on this episode you can reach out by email on toby@tobyhazlewood.com
From time to time we all experience emotional reactions when assessing our progress in life. That might come when we're looking at progress with a project or as we work through a time of challenge. It may come when we assess our relationships or look at where we are in life. It seems easier to me to default to a mindset of despondency and failure rather than gratitude and contentedness. Why is that?
In this episode, I share my thoughts on how we can tackle this response and what I believe causes it. You can also read an article I wrote on this topic at http://bit.ly/2MoPGkE
If you have any comments or feedback on this episode you can reach out by email on toby@tobyhazlewood.com
Toxic and narcissistic relationships (whether romantic or otherwise) have the power to ruin our lives if we let them. And yet, escaping from them even when we can see we're stuck in them can be one of the hardest things to accomplish.
In this episode, I share my experiences of living in a toxic relationship and the struggles that I experienced before recognising that I had to escape from it. You can also read an article I wrote on this topic at http://bit.ly/32oKMK9
If you have any comments or feedback on this episode you can reach out by email on toby@tobyhazlewood.com
As much as any of us tries to remain focused on the present, we get drawn into reminiscences over the past and fixated on the future, hoping it'll bring happiness and fulfilment. The past can be problematic as we cling to past difficulties and failures, and replay the events through our mind, time and time again.
In this episode, I talk about the steps we can take to start to loosen the hold that the past has over us. You can also read an article I wrote on this topic at http://bit.ly/2Vt4cL5
If you have any comments or feedback on this episode you can reach out by email on toby@tobyhazlewood.com
In this episode, I share my thoughts on the choices we have when faced with adversity. No matter the issue we're facing, the options are likely to be the same.
I'll outline what these are and how I think we can get distracted by over-analysis of what got us here, rather than adopting the appropriate tactics for getting through it. I'll describe some examples of how these can be applied too.
I wrote an article on this subject which you can also read at: http://bit.ly/2oOIG73
If you have any comments or feedback on this episode you can reach out by email on toby@tobyhazlewood.com
In this episode, I share how a disagreement with my teenage daughter caused me to reflect on how we learn best, through having failed at something or having been taught the right ways of doing so.
Learning and growth come from multiple sources but often, the people we learn from will identify themselves as experts, or as those who've learned through experience. Through diverse examples I consider how we can learn personally from both experience and those who have knowledge to share.
I wrote an article on this subject which you can also read at: http://bit.ly/2n6CIOu
If you have any comments or feedback on this episode you can reach out by email on toby@tobyhazlewood.com
In this episode, I discuss what I believe is the best relationship I can offer to those who are seeking relationships in their life, and who wish to learn from their past-breakups; We must be true to ourselves and who we are.
I discuss how I went through the process of a divorce, then dating again, being engaged and the subsequent failure of that relationship to eventually go on to meet my second wife. The process is one of learning from the failures as well as refining ideas of what works.
I wrote an article on this subject which you can also read at: http://bit.ly/2lc0lEE
If you have any comments or feedback on this episode you can reach out by email on toby@tobyhazlewood.com
Whether we like it or not, life is inherently risky and there are dangers associated with everything we do (and also with doing nothing!)
In this episode, I share some recent experiences in the lives of my family that have demonstrated the risk that exists all around us. I try present the balanced case for looking at each scenario as being a choice between various risks and rewards that need to be considered.
You can read an article that I wrote on this topic at http://bit.ly/2mlaDST
If you have any comments or feedback on this episode you can reach out by email on toby@tobyhazlewood.com
We can get too fixated at times with grand goals as being the route to happiness and contentment in our lives.
In this episode, I share a story of how an encounter in my own life, taught me that certainty, or an ability to better handle chaos means more to me than the achievement of success (by any definition).
You can read an article that I wrote on this topic at http://bit.ly/2mkcmb1
If you have any comments or feedback on this episode you can reach out by email on toby@tobyhazlewood.com
We're bombarded with messages online, on social media and from those around us that occasionally drive us to aspire for more in life, to stretch and grow, and to seek out feeling discomfort in the name of personal development.
In this episode, I share my thoughts on why I think we might all feel better at times in life if we were to be contented more with where we are and what we have.
You can read a recent article I wrote on this very subject at http://bit.ly/2m5kI68
If you have any comments or feedback on this episode you can reach out by email on toby@kintsugilife.co
When we're working towards a challenging goal, or dealing with adversity and striving to improve our situation, we can focus on a goal to help direct our efforts. However, the reality is that those goals and target points tend to become mere points through which we end up passing as we move on to bigger and better things.
You can read a recent article I wrote on this very subject at http://bit.ly/2JapY2O
In this episode I share the thinking behind this process, and how I've seen it exhibited in various aspects of life from career, to fitness, to relationships and beyond.
If you have any comments or feedback on this episode you can reach out by email on toby@kintsugilife.co
If you'd like to receive the occasional message from me containing thoughts, information or inspiration related to living a better life after divorce, you can join my mailing list at the following link:
bit.ly/Choosing-to-Thrive
Thanks and have a great day!
Toby
Those who are known for getting things done, for committing and then executing, even in times of adversity or hardship can become known for having a lot of willpower
You can read a recent article I wrote on this very subject at http://bit.ly/2UQcE9o
In the episode I'll share my thoughts on how I believe willpower on its own is often not enough. If we're committing to do something or to get through something that is challenging or testing, if we require willpower then it's often an indication that we're not really committed to the decision, and we don't believe in ourselves strongly enough. I'll share the 4 things that I believe are essential to minimise our dependency on having to rely on willpower, and how these can be evidenced in our life, and built upon.
If you have any comments or feedback on this episode you can reach out by email on toby@kintsugilife.co
If you'd like to receive the occasional message from me containing thoughts, information or inspiration related to living a better life after divorce, you can join my mailing list at the following link:
bit.ly/Choosing-to-Thrive
Thanks and have a great day!
Toby
How are you doing? Such a simple question can evoke such mixed emotions. For the person who is struggling through times of adversity, it can be the thing that opens the floodgates of all their dissatisfactions and despondencies. It can prompt an uncomfortable focus on how they are across their life as a whole.
I propose instead that it is more helpful for us to ask others (and more importantly, ourself) How are you doing TODAY?
You can read a recent article I wrote on this very subject at http://bit.ly/2FzIP2W
In the episode I'll share my thoughts on why focussing on today, on how we are in the near-term can be much more healthy and productive, especially if we're trying to deal with hardship. There is almost always something that can be done TODAY to improve our situation and to benefit from turning the focus on what choices, actions and decisions will benefit us now.
If you have any comments or feedback on this episode you can reach out by email on toby@kintsugilife.co
If you'd like to receive the occasional message from me containing thoughts, information or inspiration related to living a better life after divorce, you can join my mailing list at the following link:
bit.ly/Choosing-to-Thrive
Thanks and have a great day!
Toby
Expectations are a key part of shaping what we get from life; whether we're trying to manage our way through a difficult project, navigating a challenging period of life, or looking forward to a pleasant forthcoming event, we all feel expectations, and these can have enormous power both in shaping the results we get, and in determining how we feel afterwards.
You can read a recent article I wrote on this very subject at http://bit.ly/2HhsPWF
In the episode I'll share my thoughts on the many ways in which expectations can influence our lives, and why I think it's important to focus on finding the 'sweet-spot' where our expectations support us in the achievement of our goals and motivate us, without being too high (which could make the results seem disappointing) or too low (which serve to doom us to fail).
If you have any comments or feedback on this episode you can reach out by email on toby@kintsugilife.co
If you'd like to receive the occasional message from me containing thoughts, information or inspiration related to living a better life after divorce, you can join my mailing list at the following link:
bit.ly/Choosing-to-Thrive
Thanks and have a great day!
Toby
We're all guilty of times at comparing ourselves to those around us; it's a process that's prompted by the visibility we get into others' lives through social media and it seldom feels good to look at the best of someone else lives and to then compare it to the worst of our own. Either we feel the shameful pleasure that comes from feeling good about others' misfortune, or we beat ourselves up for not having what others have.
You can read a recent article I wrote on this very subject at http://bit.ly/2tw2kUN
In the episode I'll share the ways in which I think you can make a healthy comparison that helps you to assess your progress and identify just how far you've come in your journey.
If you have any comments or feedback on this episode you can reach out by email on toby@kintsugilife.co
If you'd like to receive the occasional message from me containing thoughts, information or inspiration related to living a better life after divorce, you can join my mailing list at the following link:
bit.ly/Choosing-to-Thrive
Thanks and have a great day!
Toby
In this episode I discuss my thoughts on how we can get so wrapped up in wanting to get the results from our endeavours, or to escape an unpleasant situation that we worry more about the speed at which we'll get what we want, rather than doing things right (by finding and building form). I will share a few examples that illustrate ways that this comes about in our relationships, at work and in our fitness to demonstrate what I mean. It's the old debate of quality versus quantity. When we are fixated on doing things as fast as possible, we often end up compromising ourselves and what we want in order to get it quickly. The same is true of crash diets as it is of pumping money into marketing to get a short-term boost in sales, as it is to walk out of a failing relationship rather than work at it, or to methodically end it properly and diligently.
You can read a recent article I wrote on this very subject at http://bit.ly/2SwgJiB
In the episode I'll share the ways in which I think you can build form in any given circumstance to establish the foundations for then moving on to focus on speed and quantity, magnifying the effects of your efforts.
If you have any comments or feedback on this episode you can reach out by email on toby@kintsugilife.co
If you'd like to receive the occasional message from me containing thoughts, information or inspiration related to living a better life after divorce, you can join my mailing list at the following link:
bit.ly/Choosing-to-Thrive
Thanks and have a great day!
Toby
When we set ourselves a goal, or look at our current situation compared to where we want to get to, we are often comparing ourselves with the best possible outcome, the ultimate or the pinnacle of what is possible. Lofty goals can be inspiring and motivating, whether to keep us focussed as we work through adversity, or as we undertake some process of improvement. However, it can also be really off-putting, demoralising or depressing and can discourage us from taking action; we may feel like we have too far to go and it's not worth the effort.
Inspired by one of my recent blog posts (http://bit.ly/2GaCPQo) this episode explores how we should reframe our goals to look at the 'Minimum Viable Product' in any given circumstance. What does 'Good Enough' look like for us? What would be an acceptable place to be that might set the foundations for what we want and offer a stepping stone to getting to where we want to get to?
Setting our sights on the Minimum Viable Product offers us a means of getting and staying motivated as we achieve something worthwhile that will take us in the right overall direction, encouraging us to take action, not just give up because it all seems too difficult to begin with.
If you have any comments or feedback on this episode you can reach out by email on toby@kintsugilife.co
If you'd like to receive the occasional message from me containing thoughts, information or inspiration related to living a better life after divorce, you can join my mailing list at the following link:
bit.ly/Choosing-to-Thrive
Thanks and have a great day!
Toby
At times we all have the things that we would really rather avoid. They're the tasks that our manager at work asks us to do that we don't feel like or which we doubt our ability to tackle. They're the difficult decisions that we put off. It's the awkward or unpleasant conversation that we may need to have in our relationship, or the difficult subject that needs to be tackled in the process of parting from someone. And then, as if by magic it can seem as though we've got away without having to take the action or have the difficult conversation.
While we all rely on a bit of luck and good fortune at times, I firmly believe based on my experiences in life to date that these events are not part of luck. Usually, sooner or later it'll come back around and someone will ask us where our work is, what happened to the thing they asked us to do, or our negligence in avoiding the challenging conversation will make our lives more difficult.
In this episode I share my recent experiences of putting off a task that I thought was avoidable and how I was forced to react when it became apparent that my negligence had caused more problems, all of which could have been avoided.
If you have any comments or feedback on this episode you can reach out by email on toby@kintsugilife.co
If you'd like to receive the occasional message from me containing thoughts, information or inspiration related to living a better life after divorce, you can join my mailing list at the following link:
bit.ly/Choosing-to-Thrive
Thanks and have a great day!
Toby
We've all no doubt experienced times in life when we lose the resolve and resilience to carry on with good habits and positive practices. It can be as simple as falling out of the habit of going to the gym, meditating, carefully managing our money or giving our relationships the attention they deserve. When this happens, we have a choice whether to quickly acknowledge this, and pick up the good habits again, or to lament the fact, hating or judging ourselves and delaying getting back to the good habits. When this happens, we NEED to get back on the horse and pick up with the good habits again to see their effects in our life.
Inspired by one of my recent blog posts (http://bit.ly/2VTzCdi) this episode explores what our reactions can be when we lose the good habits and how to approach picking them up again.
I refer to my own experiences of losing the habit of going to the gym and looking after my health. I managed a solid 6 months of gym going in 2018 before losing the habit! I found the excellent book, the Four Hour Body by Tim Ferriss which helped me to rediscover my resolve and to start looking after myself again, but it was only at the start of the new year when I started back at the gym in earnest.
If your plans, habits and good intentions have been knocked off track, maybe this podcast will help you to restore your motivation and get back on the horse!
If you have any comments or feedback on this episode you can reach out by email on toby@kintsugilife.co
If you'd like to receive the occasional message from me containing thoughts, information or inspiration related to living a better life after divorce, you can join my mailing list at the following link:
bit.ly/Choosing-to-Thrive
Thanks and have a great day!
Toby
In recent episodes I've been discussing the many traits and characteristics that I believe will assist us both as we work through times of adversity and challenge, but also as we strive to achieve significant goals; amongst the most significant of these, is patience. Inspired by one of my recent blog posts (http://bit.ly/2Eh9ZgS) this episode explores why I think patience is an essential skill or trait to employ in all aspects of life, and how I believe its effects can be manifested in our lives. If you have any comments or feedback on this episode you can reach out by email on toby@kintsugilife.co If you'd like to receive the occasional message from me containing thoughts, information or inspiration related to living a better life after divorce, you can join my mailing list at the following link: http://bit.ly/Choosing-to-Thrive Thanks and have a great day! Toby
"Fall down seven times, Stand up eight" -Japanese Proverb
Whether we're facing and working through a time of struggle and adversity, or considering taking a course of action to achieve something, there's a real danger that we can get caught in a cycle of procrastination. We may be fearful of our ability to cope, to get the results we need or to muster the necessary energy and enthusiasm. We may feel we're not equipped with what this will require of us. We may be fearful of what will happen if we succeed!
In this episode I discuss why I think it's our imperative to act and more importantly, to TRY and not to allow ourselves to struggle or procrastinate out of a sense of fear of uncertainty. Things may work out, they may not. Either way, we do not know until we try.
In the podcast I'll share the five benefits I have experienced of giving things a try.
If you have any comments or feedback on this episode you can reach out by email on toby@kintsugilife.co
Our blog can be found at kintsugilife.co
"Where your attention goes, energy flows and results show" - T Harv Eker
This episode is all about a power that we each have to shape what we focus on in life, and to determine how we apply our energies to those things which ultimately shapes the results we then achieve from them.
It all comes down to the Reticular Activating System which is the part of the brain that filters out what we detect via our senses. We filter out based on what we've trained our minds to notice and if we constantly see the negative, then that's what we'll see more of, and this will ensure that ours is a life of struggle. If we instead focus on gratitude, positivity and energy then that will be how we view the life and this will in turn yield results in terms of how we feel about life.
In this podcast I explain how the many ways of observing the same scenarios can indicate where our focus is, and can indicate where we'd be better served to train ourselves to respond more appropriately.
If you have any comments or feedback on this episode you can reach out by email on toby@kintsugilife.co
Our blog can be found at kintsugilife.co and our Facebook page at Facebook.com/kintsugilifestyle
Having a clear idea as to our purpose, our vision and our why is essential in allowing ourselves to focus on what is most important in our lives, and to direct our efforts and actions accordingly.
In this podcast episode I share my thoughts on how we can consider our goal, our one-thing, our main-thing to ensure that it keeps us focused on our aim, whether that is to proceed through a time of emotional difficulty, or as we recover from challenges in our life, our business or as we work through a process such as divorce which can severely test our resolve and our focus.
If you have any comments or feedback on this episode you can reach out by email on toby@kintsugilife.co
Our blog can be found at kintsugilife.co and our Facebook page at Facebook.com/kintsugilifestyle
In any endeavour we carry out in life, whether we're trying to grow and improve, complete a project or build a business or recover from hardship or challenge, our patience can often be tested as we become impatient for the results.
In this Podcast I'll discuss how it is vital to trust in the fact that the process we are in will deliver the results we expect provided that we keep putting in the actions and trust in the passing of time.
I also discuss how the same cause and effect relationship exists in terms of the things we don't do, the stuff we neglect and the bad choices we make. Finally, I'll outline how important it is to work through the entire process from the enthusiasm at the beginning, the 'messy-middle' and the optimistic end; at each stage we must trust the process.
If you have any comments or feedback on this episode you can reach out by email on toby@kintsugilife.co
Our blog can be found at kintsugilife.co and our Facebook page at Facebook.com/kintsugilifestyle
Knowing who you are, where you are and where you're trying to go are all essential as we work through times of hardship or seek out personal growth or improvement.
In this Podcast I'll discuss how we can become defined by our 'back-story', the events that happen in our life and help to shape us. These can be useful experiences that help us grow, or they can become labels that we unhelpfully cling to or apply to ourselves.
I also share the importance of understanding exactly where you are in life and any given process of improvement or journey through (and out of) adversity. Finally, I'll describe the importance of being clear about your goals, where you're going and figuring out how you're going to get there.
If you have any comments or feedback on this episode you can reach out by email on toby@kintsugilife.co
Our blog can be found at kintsugilife.co and our Facebook page at Facebook.com/kintsugilifestyle.
I've been trying to work out how any process of personal growth and improvement, or recovery from times of adversity can be mapped out into phases. When we're on a personal journey it's often discouraging to feel overwhelmed and not know where you are and how far you have yet to go. That's how I've felt lately.
In this podcast I've outlined the phases that I believe I've been passing through from Ignorance, through to Enlightenment and everywhere in-between.
My thinking on this has also been prompted by reading the amazing book '12 Rules for Life' by Jordan B. Peterson. If you feel inclined to read it, I can't recommend it highly enough.
If you have any comments or feedback on this episode you can reach out by email on toby@kintsugilife.co
Our blog can be found at kintsugilife.co and our Facebook page at Facebook.com/kintsugilifestyle
In this episode I wanted to share three of the things that often prevent me from making progress in the projects that I'm working at, or when I'm going through times of challenge.
In the episode I discuss how the ideas of starting where we are, doing what we can and using what we have, are essential in order to make progress and deal with adversity that we may face.
If you have any comments or feedback on this episode you can reach out by email on toby@kintsugilife.co
Our blog can be found at kintsugilife.co and our Facebook page at Facebook.com/kintsugilifestyle
In this episode I'll share what I believe are the 5 Essential Traits to have when you are working through times of adversity and challenge in order not just to survive or cope, but to thrive. They are simple, but often overlooked and apply to virtually every scenario in life whether you're dealing with financial, relationship or personal challenges or simply working towards a goal or project.
If you have any comments or feedback on this episode you can reach out by email on toby@kintsugilife.co
Our blog can be found at kintsugilife.co and our Facebook page at Facebook.com/kintsugilifestyle
There are three traits that I think are essentials harness and practice when we're working through a period of adversity, but which are equally important when trying to progress through a project or to achieve a goal; patience, persistence and consistency.
In this episode I'll share how I believe these traits are evidenced in the things we do and say and the way that we act. I'll also share how I think they contribute to the ease with which we proceed through life and the results we can enjoy.
If you have any comments or feedback on this episode you can reach out by email on toby@kintsugilife.co
Our blog can be found at kintsugilife.co and our Facebook page at Facebook.com/kintsugilifestyle
Whenever we’re in the midst of something that we find difficult or stretching, one of the biggest challenges aside from the task itself is often in taming the inner voices that introduce doubt, fear or despondency in our minds. Instead we need to push on regardless and to overcome those voices and messages. It's no surprise that this is challenging; many of the messages, "I can't do it", "It's too difficult" and so-on are the responses we've been training ourselves to think since childhood.
In this episode I'll share how I believe many of us have trained ourselves to think in this way over many years of repeated behaviour and action. I'll discuss what I think we need to do to handle the thoughts better, and share 3 tactics for doing this more effectively.
If you have any comments or feedback on this episode you can reach out by email on toby@kintsugilife.co
Our blog can be found at kintsugilife.co and our Facebook page at Facebook.com/kintsugilifestyle
When things don't work out as we expected, there are those who take accountability and seek to learn and grow from the experience, and those who will try and explain it away with excuses and blame. In this episode I discuss how creating alternative explanations and excuses for failure and disappointing results can negate the opportunity to learn and grow; I share a six-step plan for how you can tackle such experiences and grow, strengthen and improve as a result, improving results and your life.
Recognising these thoughts for what they are, our mind trying to protect us from harm, danger and change is useful, but we also need to take appropriate action when confronted by them if we're to move forwards in life. In this episode I'll share how I've done that in my own life.
If you have any comments or feedback on this episode you can reach out by email on toby@kintsugilife.co
Our blog can be found at kintsugilife.co and our Facebook page at Facebook.com/kintsugilifestyle
Thank you
A big part of adopting and benefiting from the Kintsugi-Life philosophy is in managing our mind-set and in overcoming the fears and self-limiting beliefs that threaten to hold us back if we fail to control them. In this episode I will share some of the many ways in which such beliefs come-up in my life, and the tactics that I've adopted to manage them and minimise their influence over my life.
Recognising these thoughts for what they are, our mind trying to protect us from harm, danger and change is useful, but we also need to take appropriate action when confronted by them if we're to move forwards in life. In this episode I'll share how I've done that in my own life.
If you have any comments or feedback on this episode you can reach out by email on toby@kintsugilife.co
Our blog can be found at kintsugilife.co and our Facebook page at Facebook.com/kintsugilifestyle
Thank you
In this episode, I share my thoughts on something that I think is a bit of a lost-art in modern life; I call it the art of showing up. I've learned the importance of this through the various roles that I play in my life, as parent, husband, entrepreneur, manager and just as human being working through life and interacting with others. How we conduct ourselves, the way that we act, speak, listen and behave can all be influenced by the way in which we 'show-up' in life. By adopting a few core habits and behaviours that I outline in this episode we all have the opportunity to get more out of life and to give more to life too.
If you have any comments or feedback on this episode you can reach out by email on toby@kintsugilife.co
Our blog can be found at kintsugilife.co and our Facebook page at Facebook.com/kintsugilifestyle
Thank you!
In this episode, I discuss how the principles of Kintsugi can be applied as we navigate times of difficulty and adversity in our working life. Whether we work as an employee, a business owner or an entrepreneur there are numerous challenges that can be encountered as we proceed through day-to-day life. I share some of the challenges I've faced as examples of these, to illustrate the learning process that I've applied. The episode also covers the need to create a business where the focus is upon serving and helping others through solving of meaningful problems as a means of creating a business that is enduring and impactful, and not purely based on selling and making money.
If you have any comments or feedback on this episode you can reach out by email on toby@kintsugilife.co
Our blog can be found at http://kintsugilife.co and our Facebook page at Facebook.com/kintsugilifestyle
Thank you!
Kintsugi Life: 002 - In this episode I provide further background on how I think the principles of the Japanese art form Kintsugi can be applied in our lives, in this instance in our relationships with others. This covers not just our romantic relationships but also in all other aspects of life, family, friendship and in our work.