Meaningful Desire: Recent Episodes
Oliver James Damian
These are my notes and reflections on "Understanding Trauma", session 1 of Returning to Wholeness: A Guide to Understanding and Integrating Trauma, a 12-Lesson online course with Gabor Mate.
Desire inventory is a practice where one starts a timer for a certain amount of time (10 minutes for example). Once the timer is started one writes one's desires one at a time. I prefer to write it in this format "I desire [INSERT] because I want to feel [INSERT]. One keeps on going until the timer goes off at the end. Optionally one can write at the end "Dear God I wish to have these desires met or desire what I get if they will be for my higher good".
Part 5 of a series where I read the book "An Immanent Metaphysics" written by Forrest Landry and share with you my thoughts and reflections as I read and link it to whatever else I'm reading, thinking, or experiencing in my life at that moment. In a way, I'm taking you along on with me on my learning journey of the text.
Part 4 of a series where I read the book "An Immanent Metaphysics" written by Forrest Landry and share with you my thoughts and reflections as I read and link it to whatever else I'm reading, thinking, or experiencing in my life at that moment. In a way, I'm taking you along on with me on my learning journey of the text.
ľm grateful for the immanent
perceiver perceiving the perceived as is
ungarnished by story, meaning, purpose
innate & cognate
precedes cognitive & conative
pain is not suffering
when the steak makes me salivate
not the sizzle of hot media's bling bling
native beauty of the felt sense
fuzzy rich unyielding
pleasure when it clicks
inside deep
mysterious
always new
ha! a-ha! hahaha
laughter the child of surprise
a sudden turn
the ground spins beneath my feet
I hold on
optimal grip on what is real
realtime processing
affordances of my unwelt
smell of freshly toasted
spelt bread
over which newly churned butter melts
before the neurogenesis of photons
inside the mind's eye
l chop wood
for our drumming circle's bonfire
after glow of awakening
I chop vanities
to throw in the funeral pyre
chasing tail
purity of touch
me not
for I have not shed
the idols of simulacrum
lycra of inactive wear
and tear, tear under my tongue
it goes & she goes
to feel the lump in my throat
unease, discomfort
simply listen with no
explanation to glisten
no priest to Christen
the simplicity of sensing
not making sense
from the embodied richness
whence this Luciferic
mischief seeks recompense.
I'm grateful for the unfolding
realities happen in the rightness
of their times
layers of becoming slowly exposed
at each revealing
striptease of being
truth is to uncover
recover
what's beneath surfaces
bubbling of what lies underneath
surfacing of hidden skeletal
details patterns of forms
she holds my tiny hand
as the other trace spirals
in the sand
sound of waves
announcing the receding tide
the moon pulls from the other side
absence of her reflected light
reveals flickering of long-lived stars
the arresting red hues of fungi
borne of mycelia running unseen
unwitnessed in their tending
the soil of possibilities
trampled by busybodies
bumping like predictable billiard balls
steam trains on the track
stations create a common time
bound by Bundy Clocks
tick tick tock tick tick tock
life in sync with optimising chron jobs
in misty clouds of silica guarded by guns
dot one's tongue
escape the logic
dig for the magic
reduction of absurdities
reconnect with the chaos
of turning
as we enter the age of air
unstable breezes from the hot desert lands
prophecies intercede on one's behalf
dry souls are best
suited for the culling
jihad for M'uad Dib
to see futures is a curse for living in the now
blind one's eyes
there's no escape from the tragedy of fate
the more I exercise freedoms
the more destined I am supposedly
listen to the secrets whispered under the rose
as I lick poison on fingertips jabbed
with blood a most special kind of juice
for fools, civil society has no use
to walk the unmapped paths
the bliss of choice in uncertainty
evolution borne of mistakes
in replicating what has been
unfaithful copying
creates danger, creates possibilities
creative destruction destructive creation
this body is not me
yet it materiality remains a mystery
matter is truly dark
dust the original sin of rebelling.
I'm grateful for touch
a felt sense of human warmth
palms, forearms, elbows
glide through my aromatic oiled body
letting go with each out-breath
opening inviting in the other
to come in feel their way through
the body electric
push through soften dissipate
accretions of past hurt intense encounters
of the unwelcome kind
unexpected sudden slamming against
the unbending will of the real
there is healing
in this wading through coming in
listening to what the body
is saying
parallel bio networks of entelechy
a push here reflects a pull there
acausal synchronous
they happen together
not because of but with
bearing the weight of squares, oppositions
conjunctions of celestial spheres
enjoying the ease of their sextiles trines
aspects of the heavens reflected in the mundane
I'm a descendant of my natal map's ascendant
as above so below
as inside so outside
how I do one thing is how I do everything
be cautious with the magic
each of us holds in our bodies
in our hands, in our minds,
in the tiny unseen things that surround us
without which we are not.
I'm grateful for double binds
intractable, unsolvable, irreducible
the poverty of context deprecates
slip knot of Athens' pesky gnat
nibbles at the adjacent possible
dialogue is prologue
to knowing
who am I
who you are us two
us them, the bigger we
no one's special
each one ordinary
yet all take part in
super complex realities
worlds of magic
in the dreaming
soaked
in our bones
living the thing is believing
see for yourself know for yourself
creation's experiment
fully stacked, with a spiral movement
subluxation releases, relaxes
the integral embrace the dismal
futomomo restraint of higher-order love
archaic revival of the modern
flick the switch of postmodern critique
to go beyond is the Cathar's bond
give my solemn word
descent of sharp fiery sword
systems learning to live within
systems of systems of systems
in paradox
no other way to be but heterodox
feel the base
the drumbeat
heartbeat
rhythmic swings
seasons a time for everything
not to do is a doing
doing is a seeing
seeing is to change things
the warmth of hands
as I cry my heart out
frustrated masculine agency
nurtured by feminine generosity
flight of dragons
a coven of the reborn.
I'm grateful for the liminal
not quite there yet but on the way
terse interstices
undisciplined discipline
crayons crossing lines
Iitany of fear
feel to steer
stir the pot
spot stripes in savannah
keep walking though I don't wanna
in nook of crevasse
rebirths man child
ego dissolves in the vast
plant medicine never mild
viruses burrow in
replicate with the intricate
grok that which has never been
beautiful whispers of the delicate
matins, vespers
doubt catalyses trust
in prayer.
I'm grateful for focus
to notice one's noticing
watch the watcher
spritz the spritzer
one zeroed in
binary thinking
where's the linking?
scratch the inkling
catch the winking
metanoia of metamoderna
derivé of the derivative
tournament of detournement
how far is the fetched?
pester the spectacle
society of shiny
too eager to tear down
Chesterton's fence
amnesia of wisdom
out of sequence
thirsty for tradition
we've lost our way
time to drop the props
feel the real
tearfully tear fully
from fentanyl's belly
calm the fury
festooned hyperstimuli
unwrap the rap sheet
drop the bullshit
escape the dreamstate
surveillance state
buy back shares of deep inc.
unbrand our skins' ink
what the squack?
who's got our back
my brother my sister
let's not squander
this life full of wonder
be total
move the dial
no more denial.
I'm grateful for discernment
to pick one from the many
the magpie who sings knows
which to peck on from multitudes
hiding in the rich soil
grass, pebbles, sticks, dried leaves
petals, cap, gills, annulus, stalk
the rooster knows when to crow
leaves when to grow, wither, and fall
panther eats enough not much more
each kill with grace and elegance
her movements art
poetry in motion
in shock prey who survive
shake off freeze and flight
resets
unshackles
free to live another day in the wild
nothing left but a curiosity, innocence of child
amphipathic phospholipids know
which molecules of water to love, which to fear
a Bene Gesserit transmutes poison
with the Voice have you in her tow
she senses truth like a fine tooth comb
weirding way with her bare hands you she can entomb
to honour mind, body, relationships, environment
with utmost care
presence,attention is the path
meaningful desire
aspiration, live at the zenith
actualised potential, potentialised actual
atonement at one moment at one meant
the whole story happens at every moment.
I'm grateful for silent soliloquy
mind traverse used, disowned, alternative futures
that which aligns with survival
change that is social, glacial, at times inimical
what uses have we for these
cosmos honours not our tenure
to be in flow with what changes
that is what endures
step into the river
one cannot twice
not even once
the one who steps is changing
the river is changing
change is changing
the entangled, the entanglement, entangled-ness itself
a constant in the instant
reverberates, gyrates, a swish-swish in the bushes
a hiding, feeling, sensing not shapes with corners
but waves, curves, the softness of my woman's caress
when I am not, everything is
she sits on me
our hearts touching
we breathe when I'm out she's in
when I'm in she's out
up and down, down and up
her breasts my groin
my heart her womb
circles that spiral
up to heaven's delight
nothing taken that is not given
nothing given that is not earned
she fully relaxes in wild safety
of my caresses
revelation, revelry in restedness
spaciousness of interacting
no you no I but a brief sigh
together always everywhere nowhere
here and there
in silence
eyes speak volumes
every nook and cranny of bodies relating
scent of honeysuckle
succulent sweet tickle
by the fire that burns hot brightly
we shared stories, jokes, random facts, songs
we reconnect with our ancestors in this land
vast, wide, a valley of special secrets
revealed to those who pause, listen, feel
with gratitude, respect for abundance
drum beats in our hearts they who came before
whispers that we need at each moment
not before, not after, without any superfluous comment
levels of you and I
kin, kindred, city, village, town & country
we commune
as one, a sacred bond with life
that abounds, abides, becomes.
I'm grateful for the rational
that which enhances survival
neocortex makes their case, grovels
to basal ganglia who colanders
overwhelmed by immediacy
can blind to orders up from secondary
to bind with practice
allows one to see, know, be, beyond
train to be with the strain
use pain for antifragile gain
face the elephant in the brain
to fool one's self is the easiest
sugar, caffeine, likes, retweets, follows
too easy to reciprocally narrow
with the hollow
break patterns that addict
slow down hyperstimuli of the quick
unchain from command control
flow, grow with the volatile
learn from each stochastic roll
contain failures, damage in a locale
fast & furious in time 'comes spurious
in close dynamic contact
with what's around, with what surrounds
vivification of the salubrious
niche changes us we change niche
chambered nautilus
of fractalised functions
blessed tensegrity of contrapuntal unity
integrity of diversity
coherence, deterrence in difference
divide what multiplies
subtract the superfluous
concatenate the fortunate
chicken broth of life-affirming growth.
I'm grateful for the irreducible
crucible of parts congenially congealed
there is much more in the concatenated whole
information, the entropy of communication
Maxwell's demon cannot know it all
where in a flower can beauty be?
dissected spiracle, thorax, mandible excised
uncompounded five eyes squandered miracle
de-tangled amegilla cingulata cannot bee
taste of salt is everywhere in the sea
lives I live never fully contained
in my CV just fleeting triviality
epistemological humility is key
not to doors but perhaps portals to more
spirals, intricacies, patterns
that hold, not losing the zing in zooming
in or out details abound
only the complicated can be predicted
fat tails dominate in life incarnate
keep one's ears close to the ground
sophrosyne in the mode of the local
classes are not instances
be wary filter out noise of the global
stitch the brain's each hemisphere
be functional in the bimodal
truth in the triumvirate
lizard, monkey, sapiens
faber, ludens, a cadence
making play, playmaking, playing with making
Leyden jar, pot of clay
to spend, invest in fruitless experiments
the only way for evolution to hold sway
in monotony, we'll all be slayed
be bold, be brave in the organic
cautious of hubris in simulacra of the ludic
the grasses, the horses conjugal in their own way
to survive is to be alive
honouring holographic holons
be well-versed with the hor d'oeuvres
of the universe
the magnum opus of opulence is to be
generous with one's silence.
I'm grateful for human alchemy
enraptured epistemologies
stochastic, probabilistic, ontic
young & wild reasoned child
now through a looking glass
recursive reflections
knowing in part
the fullness of perfection pulls
forked at each branching of being
drink the witches' brew
rich, bitter, melodic, painful
fear I must let it pass through
only a human can endure
sacrifice present for future
salicylic skinning of surrender
peeling layer by layer
preferences revealed
trade-offs in market
exchange changes
keep keeping on playing the ultimate game
cancelled taken out of play absorbed
strong non-ergodic death of fame
some risks never to take
temporal not ditto the spatial
sequence matters over time
I lick, I shoot before I suck
on the lime
irreversible irredeemable
each moment happens but once
what to make of happenstance?
each wound, each heartache, each joy, ecstasy
assimilated over time
scars become who I am
rings in a tree's trunk
licentious lotus born in the muck
to weigh what will happen
rests on my continuity
not with others' symmetry
perpetual paradox of poetry
antidote to deadly artificiality
find, express one's voice
love is that which enables choice.
I'm grateful for boundaries
walking the tightrope
of satisfaction & wanting more
mastery & frustration
dynamic demarcations
of yes's and no's
a perennial perhaps
curious tongue
savouring umami of unknowns
bittersweet defeats
salty surrender
souring sympathies
spicy speculations
to feel what's alive in the other
gracious respect with their no's
thankfully taking what is given
in fullness of desire
the taker devours for their pleasure
the taken delights in equal measure
utmost joy
to penetrate
be penetrated
seen like never before
a becoming as one walks the line
proleptic reasoning
an earnest enquiry
amidst paucity of light
feeling muddling through
the one who wants
changes the wants one wants
as one gropes in the darkness
of having that which vaguely
draws out one's self
beyond one's shrinking skin
to emerge different
symbol emulated by its referent
boisterous bowers built
to please her satin passerine
yearning to be chosen
be Iet in through her barricades
allowed to lift the Empress's brocade
the greatest reward
for freedom to fail
repeatedly time after time
wrestled down by that which
is always greater
one becomes stronger
better wiser
to move through the immovable
beyond logic
boundaries bend to the beholden.
I'm grateful for dissolution
disillusion deconstruction
to fray tapestry at the edges
unravel untangle rip to shreds
a pretext, a context
for a reweaving, a rebirth
willful warp & woof
find in the rubble
of sacked temples
cornerstones, key pieces,
salutary structures
rebuild brick by brick
perhaps build anew
a never been
weathered rocks
cobbled together with distinct sheen
who am I
without a name tag
postcode, phone, bank card
social dilemma profile?
perish pestering personas
unmask the singer
identities nothing but
dents of l
entities, parasites to
body immortal
nay a repository of morals
deidentify the political
defy capital
in the gaps, in the void
the in-between
find spaces of healing
from the derelict
comes the messianic
those in swell
got no need to rebel.
I'm grateful for the gestalt
total from particulars
knowing at once
instinctual
photons array beams of light
impressive images emerge
from pointillist marks
some Higgs Bosons, a few quarks
to keep you off track
what do you see?
an old hag
or a fancy young lady?
a glass from Chablis
or faces about to kiss?
holographic holons
more is different
symbol exceeds referent
beyond eyes that see
ears that hear
tongue that tastes
skin that takes textures, temperature
fascial proprioception
otolith pebbles eerie gyroscope of motion
an agglomeration of comfort
a felt sense the animal is safe
optimal grip on affordances of umwelt
complexity at its finest
pounce thrust ricochet as reptile
cuddle softly stroke lick in the limbic
spinifex of text complicated complex
checksum of the neocortex
systems within systems within systems
sense the shapes not just measure
topology of ontology
metaphysics of physics
alchemy of chemistry
talk in riddle & rhyme
as Ophelia mad in love
flowery flow forever
one cannot push against the river
all in all, is all we all are.
I'm grateful for post-traumatic growth
a tree grows around its wounds
shattered teacups mended
in fullness of zen attended
bound back together
with gold, it comes gilded
angels released from rock
only with Hephaestic hammering
violent chiselling
pearls born of
sandy inside attacks
oppressive pile on
graphite's soft sable, dark soot
deftly delivers
durable clarity, crystalline diamonds
the adept first putrifies
life crushes caterpillar
purees pupae
for butter to fly
antigens dance with antibodies
to nick the antifragile
is a gift of strength to the facile
I can only fly in ecstatic high
as far as I can dive deep
into the lows, down the doldrums
seeped into scars
trenches of inner wars
where my most potent love comes
most generous will, power, morale
ready in waiting
for tears to come
anger to boil
a release towards
a symbiosis
with lives past.
I'm grateful for co-dependence
betwixt organisms & with one another
gestalt baroque of filigreed
functions that further
more is different
roses grow thorns
frustrate ruminants gagging
a chew on their bush bodies
that they may grow & blossom
release fragrance & hues
to colour hearts of impassioned lovers
nectar for bees
pollen for the Mrs
trees witness human foibles
breath in to resurrect
out-breath a step closer to death
crabs crowd neath mangroves
where fresh meets salty
new man glides his tongue hungrily
over her breasts' fullness
warm skin, firmly ripe mangoes
sweet rind, consummation in the offing
plentiful harvest, the monsoon summer
where it all hangs one knows nowhere
Everywhere
ignorance got no beginning
can come to end
gnosis begins
never ends
we kissed under the gum tree
just where the river bends
she's gone distant, no longer here
but there's no end to our relating
once entangled spooky serenading
each others' spinning
from a distance
transformation in trance
without the warmth of soil
dead rocks come to a boil
disease permafrost freeze
prays for a thawing
peace for those
who hold discomfort
bleeding hearts
warm hands.
I'm grateful for the distributed
weight, counterweight
punto, contra punto
impact hits it ripples through
widely in space/time's fabric
no, not simply equal
a miserly measure of man
rather congruent
nature's embarrassment of riches
symmetry of asymmetries
asymmetry of symmetries
functions link unlink
feedback feedforward
autopoietic agents feed
each other's hunger
the seen born in a bang
swirling dusts
imploding masses
gold minted in bellies of oppressive stars
generous nucleate these very same
photons they radiate
orderly paths of planets gravitate
unseen devours seen
fractionated fracking adjacent possibles
fractal degrees of freedom
dynamic dance enlivens
equilibrium of death
boundaries bicker
fight to thrive
co-learning to evolve
trees space in between canopies
predators prey to eat
mycelia masticate on the fallen
lovers breakup
bodies breakdown
time bends in time, time ends
this beauty of creation
violence looking through a bio lens.
I'm grateful for the human body
sinewy sinusoidal waveform
of immanent incarnation
upright, always on point
losing balance
vulnerable ventral exposed
clothed by ingenuity
habiting harnessed habitats
Anthropos conquers scene
corrupted by cunning
ravage reservoirs of million years
the sin of extincting
rewild I shake off the matrix
no to mad planning
fiat cannot see
what's in bursts of sprinting
periods of resting
foraging, naming, knowing
flora & fauna, astral & hermetic
not for study but to embody
to walk, to run, minutes, hours, days
who cares
abomination of scheduled jogging
in a daze
dread mill of working
deadens desires
sing, dance, worship, trance
for no purpose other than that
the sun we screen not
a metanoia of mitochondria
never hype of hypochondria
the cancer is in the anger
to weaponise the child in the manger
is the zenith of mischief
Internet of beefs
it's alright alone undivided
lonely in crowds we madden
advertising the Schmick
tick of the atomic
half monkey half angel
we become only in surrender.
l am grateful for the silence
in meditation
a ceasing of persistent me
allows the avatar
to come down, interpenetrate
at a point
where doing meets being
a crossroad where the finite
comingles with the infinite
ripening of fruit
in complete surrender
so it may become full & heavy
drop effortlessly back
into the soil, be eaten
ripped apart, torn asunder
so it may commune once more
with the formless
that gives birth to all forms
this sitting on the ground of being
walking the land of becoming
dancing without dancing
dancer becomes dance
the flower & I become one
silence is the perfume that permeates
rich hues of sunrise
cool wind on face
stirring in groin
hunger in belly
wanting ache in heart
cacophony of questioning mind
in totality all alters
eros, beauty, hunger
gateways to the Divine
doors open in allowing
though no one is knocking
when I am no more
all is
music of chance
murmurrate in imperfect
perfection, perfect imperfection
in the total present
as the vertical
bisects the horizontal
past is forgotten
future let go
only in the richness of the now
nowhere to go
no one to be
simply in the joy
at one with this moment
darkness always there
embraces holds the light
in a tight embrace
like lovers in delight
only the undivided me
can shine this particularity
relating with other
uniquenesses undivided
relationships create relationships
learning to be with
patterns that connect
gently hold that which persists
in crossing the dark valleys
to find light in hills to climb
the virtue that is not a virtue
is the true virtue.
I'm grateful for the ancestral
knowing for survival
whispered from one human to another
only to those who can
keep it pure untainted by hubris
with the big picture
recognise poison from cure
cultivated attention
not to miss forest for trees
attenuation of greed
grandmother to grandmother
generations inter generated
genial genius genealogy of ecology
telluric techne
stand under episteme
suffusing sophrosyne
lndra's Net taut in truthful tonos
in right relating to the ever-changing
memory codes
infused in songs, rituals
etching in rock, marking in barks
stories of the dream time
serpents, dragons, hiss through
history, learning to be with one another
us two with the rocks, the crocks
the roos, encircling the emu
emulation of ego
illusion of separation
belief in being greater than thou, special
forgetting the heteronomy of the spatial
the land that sustains, soil that en-soul
bioregions of regeneration
we come back, we return
to our default indigeneity
smoke out zombies of civilisation
without scripts, each of us speaks
listen, partake, participate
in mutual learning
a symmathesy to see
the mother sea.
I'm grateful for duality
primordial split
cascade further
splintering, contrasting, differentiating
hydrogen fuels expansion
helium, lithium, beryllium
elements cohere, combine ad infinitum
carbon, nitrogen, oxygen
life born of promiscuous attraction
semipermeable separation
sodium, magnesium, aluminium
metals forged in bellies
of starstruck explosions
scythe of separation
swath through a solipsist solo
hermaphrodite no more
begins quixotic quest
for counterpart parfait
bright, dark, good, bad
sweet, sour, heavy, light
high, low, deep, shallow
pluralistic palette of the possible
canvas rewoven
at each step of process
curvaceous crevasse
holds strangest attractors
not knowing ex-ante
revising meaning ex-post
to grasp at straws
of vague values
at each hold
the valuer remoulds
one with self
seeking to be undivided
an individual born of the dual.
I'm grateful for this wound of separation
a constant felt sense
this drop was once
in oneness with the ocean
deep longing for return
a turning once more
pining to remember
again to be a member
this pain of wake up
from the deep slumber
ensconced within a pre-personal
cocoon of comfort
bestowed a personal gift
sovereign body
unique expression of life becoming
similar, conjugal but never quite the same
abutting, slamming against that which resists
I gather an inkling of where the other ends where I begin
pinned down by limits
I begin to learn the meaning of exceeding
alone in the desert's desolation
I take off garments of illusion
naked l commune with supreme emptiness
recharged I come back to feed multitudes in the market
this wound calls me to cross over
towards the shimmering shore
walk over raging waters of desires and attachments
in the darkest night of the soul
to let fear pass through me
in deep surrender
be in the bliss of Silence
drunk with the Divine
this drop can call forth the ocean.
l am grateful for the rigour
of the super astral
a verticality that cuts through
the Gordian Knot of wishy-washy
custard horizontality
a sword of light disinfecting
the bullshit of pretence
cutting down the flexing of egos
falsifying the smokescreens
of Narcissus infatuated con artists
swiftly ascending, descending
the ladder of abstraction
listful to logical typing
unearthing errors hemmed & hawed
by layered lazy cognition
a bias for action it
playfully manipulates symbols
traverse thought experiments
until something clicks
the penny drops, the double helix revealed
upending the constancy of space & time
when one rides the speed of light
is the constant when geometry's not flat
in dynamic contact with what is alive
honing, zooming in, dissecting
getting at the bottom of things
plucking the patterns of
causation, correlation, disambiguation
replicable processes create the Technium
efficacy as measure of truth
the power of this reduction, a dutiful servant
it must remain
never a master lest we all perish
in a paperclip maximiser myopia
of algorithmic worship.
l am grateful for the envelope of the heart
where desires are born
from deep within
which shapes what the self
values in the world it moves in,
a process of unfolding, refolding,
folding the other way
always in medias res
as values transform, undulate, reform,
the self is remade not by outside decree
but a steeping,
soaking, fermenting
emanating from the core of the heart
where courage carry on caring
untethered to anything
its radiance can't help but love totally.
I answer questions about my experience of orgasmic meditation and describe a breakdown of the steps and techniques involved in the practice.
What does one feel tying or being tied by the other? How does this relate to the solitude of quarantine, spirituality and the serendipity of finding things one does no overtly seek?
Jerwin Parker Roberto & I continue our previous conversation on goalessness. This time we dive deeper on experiences of being in the no-mind, the watcher, the emptiness that can allow a melting into the ocean of infinite totality.
This is the audio of the workshop I gave the Worldwide Festival of Erotic Living 2020. You can watch the video here if you like: https://youtu.be/gBAhI3Ln3-c
We talk about the differences and nuances of setting goals, having plans, schedules compared with feeling our way through life.
I talk about (1) what do we mean by "resentment"; (2) why when we tackle our resentments we're working on clarity and not just vision, self excavation and not just direct practice; and (3) what is spiritual by-pass. I teach you the practice of Fear Inventory to help you excavate your resentments. I situate this practice within the integral model of cleaning up and how this relates to waking up (in particular spiritual bypass), growing up, and showing up. Finally, I unpack cleaning up practices like shadow work, completing the uncompleted, restoring connections, de-armouring so we can deal with our projections, pretences and defences in a healthy way.
Amy and I talk around the challenges and opportunities facing Asian men and men in general as they navigate the world of Eros.
My friend Moritz Kerkmann Hood & I work within the limitations of language to describe our experience of what is it that happens when we project away from the present moment into the past or the future, into our shadow separated from us and this idea of hope for a better future or afterlife in a linear time that may not exist outside of our own projections and hallucinations of it.
I read a poem I wrote back in July 2004 after an Inner Space Interactive Sourcing session as a client. I reflect on the joy that vulnerability brings.
This is a poem I wrote in my native tongue, Tagalog, about the feeling of being ghosted in WhatsApp by someone I fancied.
A poem I wrote back in 9 November 1997 in Makati City, Philippines.
Transcript: https://liminaversity.com/that-day-i-woke-up-1.html
Part 3 of a series where I read the book "An Immanent Metaphysics" written by Forrest Landry and share with you my thoughts and reflections as I read and link it to whatever else I'm reading, thinking, or experiencing in my life at that moment. In a way, I'm taking you along on with me on my learning journey of the text.
Part 2 of a series where I read the book "An Immanent Metaphysics" written by Forest Landry and share with you my thoughts and reflections on each paragraph of the text. In a way, I'm taking you along on with me on my learning journey of this text.
This is the first part of a series where I read the book "An Immanent Metaphysics" written by Forest Landry and share with you my thoughts and reflections on each paragraph of the text. In a way, I'm taking you along on with me on my learning journey of this text.
In this episode, I recite for you a poem I wrote back in 2004. The poem was inspired by the experiences in a past life regression session I was in.
Transcript & show notes: https://liminaversity.com/hades-1.html
Ashok Zaman, meditation teacher, fashion model, and Master's Degree Student in Philosophy talks about rebuilding an Ēmítuófó temple on the outskirts of Shanghai after the purge and how a regular practice from this temple led him to a peak experience.
Transcript: https://liminaversity.com/rebuilding-a-temple-1.html
Megan Lambert & I talk about exemplary feminine leadership, why is there a need to teach women to be in their Feminine? and the promise that women can have it all.
Transcript at: https://liminaversity.com/feminine-masculine-1.html
Scott Murden & I round out our discussion of approval by touching on the freedoms & limitations afforded to choice-making by sustainability and diversity.
Transcript of this episode at: https://liminaversity.com/limits-to-choice-1.html
Camille Bataillon talks about her research on Orgasmic Meditation towards completing her Master's Degree in Sciences of Family & Sexuality.
Transcript of this episode at: https://liminaversity.com/orgasmic-meditation-research-1.html