TransPanTastic: Transgender parenting, work, marriage, transition, and life!: Recent Episodes
George & Jess
A podcast about gender, identity, orientation, and all the life that happens around them! George is an FtM transgender man, Jess is his pansexual genderqueer wife; they talk parenting, work, and such.
As the LGBTQ+ community is increasingly under fire in western society, and trans folks in particular are experiencing a marked increase in legal and social marginalization, we talked a bit about our experiences finding safety in community across time and place, prior to the turn of the millenium.
We are here to share our entire intersectional experience with anyone who finds it beneficial, but we want to know what you connect with the most. You can let us know by clicking to a one-question anonymous survey at vote.pollcode.com/32371374. If you have a request/suggestion that isn't listed, comment!
We can be found online at TransPanTastic.net, you can email us at TransPanTastic@gmail.com, and "TransPanTastic" is searchable on most social networks. We would love to hear from you, so let us know what you think or what you want to hear about!
Disappointingly, but not unexpectedly, Child#2 has made the decision to find somewhere else to live that does not require him to meet our incredibly stringent expectations for hygiene and participation.
We are here to share our entire intersectional experience with anyone who finds it beneficial, but we want to know what you connect with the most. You can let us know by clicking to a one-question anonymous survey at vote.pollcode.com/32371374. If you have a request/suggestion that isn't listed, comment!
We can be found online at TransPanTastic.net, you can email us at TransPanTastic@gmail.com, and "TransPanTastic" is searchable on most social networks. We would love to hear from you, so let us know what you think or what you want to hear about!
As we continue living that sandwich generation life, both Child#2 and George's aunt are taxing our energy and cognitive bandwidth.
We are here to share our entire intersectional experience with anyone who finds it beneficial, but we want to know what you connect with the most. You can let us know by clicking to a one-question anonymous survey at vote.pollcode.com/32371374. If you have a request/suggestion that isn't listed, comment!
We can be found online at TransPanTastic.net, you can email us at TransPanTastic@gmail.com, and "TransPanTastic" is searchable on most social networks. We would love to hear from you, so let us know what you think or what you want to hear about!
George is going on a super queer psychedelic road trip. We discuss how that came about.
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We can be found online at TransPanTastic.net, you can email us at TransPanTastic@gmail.com, and "TransPanTastic" is searchable on most social networks. We would love to hear from you, so let us know what you think or what you want to hear about!
George's shoulder surgery went better than expected, although being an 'old retired guy' everyone wants to talk about injuries and ailments. While he recovers we're preparing for Child#2 to turn 18 and move out, with strongly mixed feelings.
We are here to share our entire intersectional experience with anyone who finds it beneficial, but we want to know what you connect with the most. You can let us know by clicking to a one-question anonymous survey at vote.pollcode.com/32371374. If you have a request/suggestion that isn't listed, comment!
We can be found online at TransPanTastic.net, you can email us at TransPanTastic@gmail.com, and "TransPanTastic" is searchable on most social networks. We would love to hear from you, so let us know what you think or what you want to hear about!
Cousin Vinnie came to visit, so we sat down and talked about their past two years and Jess' past year on testosterone, comparing to George's initial experiences on T over a decade ago.
We are here to share our entire intersectional experience with anyone who finds it beneficial, but we want to know what you connect with the most. You can let us know by clicking to a one-question anonymous survey at vote.pollcode.com/32371374. If you have a request/suggestion that isn't listed, comment!
We can be found online at TransPanTastic.net, you can email us at TransPanTastic@gmail.com, and "TransPanTastic" is searchable on most social networks. We would love to hear from you, so let us know what you think or what you want to hear about!
When westerners call the generational status of caring for children and elders simultaneously "Sandwich Generation", Jess thinks that makes it sound like flavorful fillings in an easily handled form, but we have found it to be far from tasty. George especially finds it challenging while also dealing with repeated illness and injuries.
We are here to share our entire intersectional experience with anyone who finds it beneficial, but we want to know what you connect with the most. You can let us know by clicking to a one-question anonymous survey at vote.pollcode.com/32371374. If you have a request/suggestion that isn't listed, comment!
We can be found online at TransPanTastic.net, you can email us at TransPanTastic@gmail.com, and "TransPanTastic" is searchable on most social networks. We would love to hear from you, so let us know what you think or what you want to hear about!
Winding down our winter of all the freaking travel, we struggled with airports, recalled George's pre-transition man-blindness, and had a grand time at the soon-to-be-discontinued Gallifrey One.
We are here to share our entire intersectional experience with anyone who finds it beneficial, but we want to know what you connect with the most. You can let us know by clicking to a one-question anonymous survey at vote.pollcode.com/32371374. If you have a request/suggestion that isn't listed, comment!
We can be found online at TransPanTastic.net, you can email us at TransPanTastic@gmail.com, and "TransPanTastic" is searchable on most social networks. We would love to hear from you, so let us know what you think or what you want to hear about!
As we both age, George has reached the stage where half his conversations revolve around his injuries and ailments. but he's also maturing into his role as a trans elder in various queer communities and social circles.
We are here to share our entire intersectional experience with anyone who finds it beneficial, but we want to know what you connect with the most. You can let us know by clicking to a one-question anonymous survey at vote.pollcode.com/32371374. If you have a request/suggestion that isn't listed, comment!
We can be found online at TransPanTastic.net, you can email us at TransPanTastic@gmail.com, and "TransPanTastic" is searchable on most social networks. We would love to hear from you, so let us know what you think or what you want to hear about!
We found more queers to spend time with, together and separately, and George is glad to get back to having more queer community after years of hanging out with straight, cis, middle class parents.
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We can be found online at TransPanTastic.net, you can email us at TransPanTastic@gmail.com, and "TransPanTastic" is searchable on most social networks. We would love to hear from you, so let us know what you think or what you want to hear about!
George finally decided to change endocrinologists, meanwhile his aunt needs more assistance and his shoulder needs surgery. Life continues apace, no matter how much we might want a break.
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We can be found online at TransPanTastic.net, you can email us at TransPanTastic@gmail.com, and "TransPanTastic" is searchable on most social networks. We would love to hear from you, so let us know what you think or what you want to hear about!
George continued to pursue treatment for his shoulder, while also seeking supports for Child#2 who turns 18 soon, and having holidays with all our kids.
We are here to share our entire intersectional experience with anyone who finds it beneficial, but we want to know what you connect with the most. You can let us know by clicking to a one-question anonymous survey at vote.pollcode.com/32371374. If you have a request/suggestion that isn't listed, comment!
We can be found online at TransPanTastic.net, you can email us at TransPanTastic@gmail.com, and "TransPanTastic" is searchable on most social networks. We would love to hear from you, so let us know what you think or what you want to hear about!
George can't seem to catch a break when it comes to health care, his fistula is healing well but now he has an injured shoulder and the new testosterone prescription is not working as well as the old one.
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We can be found online at TransPanTastic.net, you can email us at TransPanTastic@gmail.com, and "TransPanTastic" is searchable on most social networks. We would love to hear from you, so let us know what you think or what you want to hear about!
George went back to the surgeon for the outpatient procedure to repair his fistula. That recovery seems to be going smoothly, but now he has injured his arm, which is not recovering anywhere near as well.
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We can be found online at TransPanTastic.net, you can email us at TransPanTastic@gmail.com, and "TransPanTastic" is searchable on most social networks. We would love to hear from you, so let us know what you think or what you want to hear about!
George is going back to the surgeon for a fistula repair, and the bonus of going to the bay area is seeking new supplements and substances to benefit his mental health.
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In the interest of finding George more queer social time, we went to Folsom Street Fair and Salt Lake City, and yes we have recovered from the whiplash. Then we hosted the queers to help a friend with a construction project.
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We can be found online at TransPanTastic.net, you can email us at TransPanTastic@gmail.com, and "TransPanTastic" is searchable on most social networks. We would love to hear from you, so let us know what you think or what you want to hear about!
One recurring theme in the ten year's we've been in your ears has been the recurring difficulties accessing testosterone. These difficulties are familiar to most trans folks on any form of HRT, and now George has been struggling to also access mental health treatment meds after an insurance snafu.
We are here to share our entire intersectional experience with anyone who finds it beneficial, but we want to know what you connect with the most. You can let us know by clicking to a one-question anonymous survey at vote.pollcode.com/32371374. If you have a request/suggestion that isn't listed, comment!
We can be found online at TransPanTastic.net, you can email us at TransPanTastic@gmail.com, and "TransPanTastic" is searchable on most social networks. We would love to hear from you, so let us know what you think or what you want to hear about!
When George got to Child#2's IEP meeting, in addition to doing the parenty thing, he also got to be "the dude who shut down the other dude".
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Bob the dog is the only pet we intend to ever own again, but Child #3 wanted help keeping her cat when her other dad wasn't able to keep it anymore. We were willing to help, but only so far.
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After bringing Child#2 home from Alaska, getting him back into the routines of daily life, school, and preparations for adulting, have been a challenge. But we went to pride and George found some resources that might help with the adulting part.
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After many months of shortage, George's testosterone prescription has finally begun refilling again.
After many months of waiting for his endocrinologist to finish his move to a new practice, he has finally made contact and had an appointment.
After many hours on the phone with doctor's offices, with insurance reps, with pension program insurance liaisons, and with patient advocates, can he actually get his T to refill on a regular basis again before his cautiously hoarded stash runs out?
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We went back to Alaska to pick up Child#2, and took our own little vacation along the way, stopping in Seattle first. But of course, nothing ever goes to plan around here, so in addition to George having a date and Jess getting to see a friend, we also had to do long-distance parenting and kid-transit troubleshooting.
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Once George and Vinnie got Child#2 to his adult brother's village in Alaska, you would think the challenges would settle down some. You'd be wrong, but they did find queers, so that was better, maybe?
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Child#2's brother has been half-asking, half-planning, half-assing an attempt at a visit for a long while, so finally George and Cousin Vinnie decided to just make it happen. The efforts to plan and to communicate with said brother and family were mildly challenging and mildly amusing.
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George has recruited Cousin Vinnie to help take Child#2 to visit the boy's adult half-brother, while Jess is having lots of social time both with and without George, and we all are having our challenges interacting with the allocishets.
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George recounts the experience of traveling to, and recovering from, his fourth surgery.
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We get into the actual medical preparations for George's upcoming surgery, and then run away from home for a weekend to try to enjoy ourselves with fewer responsibilities for a couple days.
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While G is preparing to leave for surgery, once again, we are making sure to prepare, as much as possible, everything for which he is responsible. This means managing a kid, an aunt, and various doctor appointments for the both of us.
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We can be found online at TransPanTastic.net, you can email us at TransPanTastic@gmail.com, and "TransPanTastic" is searchable on most social networks. We would love to hear from you, so let us know what you think or what you want to hear about!
George wanted to take Child#2 on a spring break road trip, and Cousin Vinnie needed to get out of town to escape work for a while, so they took George's car and visited some fish, George's metamour, and Death Valley.
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We can be found online at TransPanTastic.net, you can email us at TransPanTastic@gmail.com, and "TransPanTastic" is searchable on most social networks. We would love to hear from you, so let us know what you think or what you want to hear about!
George's endocrinologist is changing offices, Child#2 needs various healthcare documentation to prepare for disabled adulthood, and Jess is trying to access endocrinology services at the gender clinic, all while we attempt to get ready for George's next stage of surgery.
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It's been a while since we discussed our respective upbringings and the experiences in our earlier lives that led to who we are now, so today we started reviewing George's personal history of queerness and transness.
This episode contains content from just before high school thru his decision to transition a decade ago, just before we started this podcast. Earlier experiences can be found in our last episode, "TPT#403 - F*cking Gender Weirdness".
We are here to share our entire intersectional experience with anyone who finds it beneficial, but we want to know what you connect with the most. You can let us know by clicking to a one-question anonymous survey at vote.pollcode.com/32371374. If you have a request/suggestion that isn't listed, comment!
We can be found online at TransPanTastic.net, you can email us at TransPanTastic@gmail.com, and "TransPanTastic" is searchable on most social networks. We would love to hear from you, so let us know what you think or what you want to hear about!
It's been a while since we discussed our respective upbringings and the experiences in our earlier lives that led to who we are now, so today we started reviewing George's personal history of queerness and transness.
This episode contains content from his earliest memories until just before high school, and next episode will discuss experiences from late adolescence thru adulthood.
We are here to share our entire intersectional experience with anyone who finds it beneficial, but we want to know what you connect with the most. You can let us know by clicking to a one-question anonymous survey at vote.pollcode.com/32371374. If you have a request/suggestion that isn't listed, comment!
We can be found online at TransPanTastic.net, you can email us at TransPanTastic@gmail.com, and "TransPanTastic" is searchable on most social networks. We would love to hear from you, so let us know what you think or what you want to hear about!
We went to the Star Trek: San Francisco convention, and while we were in the bay area we saw some existing friends and made some new ones. Now we prepare for George to go to his sister's house and spring training, because we're packing in the travel before his next surgery.
We are here to share our entire intersectional experience with anyone who finds it beneficial, but we want to know what you connect with the most. You can let us know by clicking to a one-question anonymous survey at vote.pollcode.com/32371374. If you have a request/suggestion that isn't listed, comment!
We can be found online at TransPanTastic.net, you can email us at TransPanTastic@gmail.com, and "TransPanTastic" is searchable on most social networks. We would love to hear from you, so let us know what you think or what you want to hear about!
George and Jess are both having difficulties keeping their hormones regulated, although in completely different ways and with completely different outcomes.
We are here to share our entire intersectional experience with anyone who finds it beneficial, but we want to know what you connect with the most. You can let us know by clicking to a one-question anonymous survey at vote.pollcode.com/32371374. If you have a request/suggestion that isn't listed, comment!
We can be found online at TransPanTastic.net, you can email us at TransPanTastic@gmail.com, and "TransPanTastic" is searchable on most social networks. We would love to hear from you, so let us know what you think or what you want to hear about!
As George's recovery continues, we are finally getting back to enjoying what life we can, planning some non-surgery travel between parenting and work and other responsibilities.
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As George continues to recover from surgery, as swelling decreases and scars shrink and fade, we discuss how both he and Jess have felt about this process and about his nearly-complete outcomes.
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As George continued recovering from Sepsis and the most recent stage of his lower surgery, we continued to support the other elements of his physical and mental health.
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When one of George's incisions from (what we had hoped would be) the last stage of his metoidioplasty got infected, it quickly became a bigger problem than expected.
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We can be found online at TransPanTastic.net, you can email us at TransPanTastic@gmail.com, and "TransPanTastic" is searchable on most social networks. We would love to hear from you, so let us know what you think or what you want to hear about!
One of George's incisions got infected, and we hope you'll forgive us if he's too busy recovering to record this week.
See you next year!
The third stage of George's lower surgery is recovering well so far, meanwhile Jess is home parenting and managing the household, so we recorded from different locations to talk about it.
We are here to share our entire intersectional experience with anyone who finds it beneficial, but we want to know what you connect with the most. You can let us know by clicking to a one-question anonymous survey at vote.pollcode.com/32371374. If you have a request/suggestion that isn't listed, comment!
We can be found online at TransPanTastic.net, you can email us at TransPanTastic@gmail.com, and "TransPanTastic" is searchable on most social networks. We would love to hear from you, so let us know what you think or what you want to hear about!
As the lower surgery saga progresses, life doesn't quit, and Child#2 has required more of our time and energy than usual.
We are here to share our entire intersectional experience with anyone who finds it beneficial, but we want to know what you connect with the most. You can let us know by clicking to a one-question anonymous survey at vote.pollcode.com/32371374. If you have a request/suggestion that isn't listed, comment!
We can be found online at TransPanTastic.net, you can email us at TransPanTastic@gmail.com, and "TransPanTastic" is searchable on most social networks. We would love to hear from you, so let us know what you think or what you want to hear about!
When George was preparing for his first stage of surgery, he was contacted by someone whose professional title with the hospital is "Gender Navigator". Over the course of the surgical process, he has appreciated that person's presence, so when they asked for his input and feedback about his process and interactions with the hospital, he was happy to answer questions and offer his thoughts.
We are here to share our entire intersectional experience with anyone who finds it beneficial, but we want to know what you connect with the most. You can let us know by clicking to a one-question anonymous survey at vote.pollcode.com/32371374. If you have a request/suggestion that isn't listed, comment!
We can be found online at TransPanTastic.net, you can email us at TransPanTastic@gmail.com, and "TransPanTastic" is searchable on most social networks. We would love to hear from you, so let us know what you think or what you want to hear about!
We've taken a couple of trips recently, while waiting for George's final stage of surgery. Our travels weren't without complications, as Jess got covid which almost upended one trip, and George got shingles which has postponed his surgery.
We are here to share our entire intersectional experience with anyone who finds it beneficial, but we want to know what you connect with the most. You can let us know by clicking to a one-question anonymous survey at vote.pollcode.com/32371374. If you have a request/suggestion that isn't listed, comment!
We can be found online at TransPanTastic.net, you can email us at TransPanTastic@gmail.com, and "TransPanTastic" is searchable on most social networks. We would love to hear from you, so let us know what you think or what you want to hear about!
If you're here, you already know that listening to queer podcasts is a good way to connect with queer community when life is busy and time or energy to engage in more active connection are inaccessible. After listening to a recent episode of Gender Reveal, George had some thoughts about his own concept of gender and how it interacts with socially-constructed concepts of gender, so we talked to you all about it.
The episode we referenced can be found here: https://gender.libsyn.com/episode-160-raquel-willis
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As we continue to wait for the insurance and scheduling for George's last stage of surgery, he's been busy with travel and more travel. Between visiting his sister and visiting Cousin Vinnie, he's had plenty of opportunity for ridiculous gendery nonsense.
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While George waits for the next stage of his surgery to get scheduled, parenting continues apace, and Child#2 has given us a run for our money the past couple of weeks.
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While George is still recovering from his most recent round of surgery revisions, Child#0 decided to get married and saved the actual planning for the last minute, and Child#2 and Child#3 started back to school.
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George got repairs done for his lower surgery, then did hyperbaric treatments to help the repairs stick. Transmasculine lower surgeries typically have more complications than most folks like to talk about, but we're talking anyway, because complications and all, it will have been worth it in the end.
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George's second stage of surgery went better than the first, thanks in large part to following it up with hyperbaric treatment.
Disclaimer: Audio quality was a challenge this week. If that becomes a barrier to listening, we won't be offended if you need to skip it and come back next time.
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George went back to his surgeon to discuss the complications with his metoidioplasty, and while he was there he got to have a bit of fun with his Cousin Vinnie. Now he may or may not have an appointment for the next stage of surgery, in less than a week, and we're trying not to get too overwhelmed trying to make that work at such short notice.
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As we prepare for Jess to visit their non-nesting partner and George to visit Cousin Vinnie and the Surgeon for metoidioplasty follow-up, children needed to be managed and plans needed to be made for their management. While this is always the case when we both leave town at once, this week we had a number of unexpected changes and challenges.
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As George prepares to go to his follow-up appointment for his metoidioplasty, we have to manage logistics for managing children and a dog while we're away. While away, he hopes to meet up with some potential romantic connections, but re-learning how to flirt and date with the patriarchy now standing behind him is a bit challenging.
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George is still struggling with the complications from his metoidioplasty, and sometimes feels as though he is quite literally "coming apart at the seams". So it's time to head back to the doctor and have a look at what else needs to be done, as well as looking forward to the second stage of surgery.
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George has finally levelled up and out of employment. Retirement is a huge privilege, so even though accessing it has been an adventure we're still super grateful that it's an option, especially while he's still recovering from the first stage of lower surgery and trying to plan for the next stage.
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Surgery recovery continues, as George has two places where torn stitches are still healing. Meanwhile, parenting has gotten interesting again, because teenagers don't need less parenting, just different parenting.
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George left the hospital after his surgery and we stayed at Cousin Vinnie's for a couple of weeks before attempting to travel.
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We discussed George's metoidioplasty procedure, as well as all the preparation that went into the days before it.
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In the second half of our conversation with The Lawyer Friend, we discussed a decade of transition, including coming out, personal safety, male privilege, stealth, dating, and more discussion of surgery.
As of the date of publication, George is a few weeks out from surgery and recovering well.
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In preparation for George's lower surgery, we got our lawyer friend back on the microphone, to talk about the metoidioplasty he had ten years ago, and to talk about dicks in general.
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George finally has a surgery date, and it's coming up far quicker than we expected. While we plan and prepare, we're considering child care, elder care, pet care, and what to tell various members of various social spheres.
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We spent the weekend at Cousin Vinnie's, and between home improvement projects, we talked about their experiences accessing medical transition and dating a gender therapist.
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George's heart health continues to get managed, and we finally see some progress on the insurance approval for his lower surgery.
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While we wait for the new insurance to process coverage for George's lower surgery, we are insistently reminded that the rest of his health care is important also.
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As a blended family with varying custody arrangements, we've always had odd scheduling for our holidays. The past few years we had our "Christmas" before the holiday, but this year we had it after. Between that change and our teenagers' increasing maturity and the rest of our family's unique ways of being, the holidays were as much of an adventure as you'd expect.
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As we continue to make slow progress toward George's lower surgery, he continues to amuse himself with other pursuits, including going to a bathhouse, seeing a drag show, meeting his metamour, seeing a drag show, installing a ceiling fan with Cousin Vinnie, and seeing a drag show.
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Picking up where we left off last week, as George tells Jess they don't need to wait around for him at the hospital.
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George's yeeterus day is finally here, but as anyone who's had any type of surgery knows, pre-operative planning is always something of an adventure. Today's episode stops at intake, next episode we'll discuss the actual surgery and recovery.
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While we wait for George's hysterectomy and progress toward the rest of his lower surgery, the rest of our world has been full of shenanigans, especially with Child#2 and George's aunt.
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As we continue our progress toward George's metoidioplasty, he now has a gynecologist onboard to do his hysterectomy, and a few more calls made between various other providers.
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Between the clinic in the bay, the university in BFE, the endocrinologist here in our small town, and the statewide insurance plan, something somewhere has to happen eventually, right?
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George finally got to his first consult for lower surgery. Jess was still home with COVID-19, so Cousin Vinnie went with him for emotional support and shenanigans.
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Jess brought COVID-19 home from STLV, and with George's metoidioplasty consult looming he decided to run away from home to avoid the risk of catching it and missing his appointment.
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Accessing gender-affirming healthcare is rarely easy and often quite challenging. George's first steps to access his lower surgery involved a variety of staff offering their efforts but not always achieving much.
At 04:29 George references a website incorrectly. The correct link is transhealthcare.org.
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Jess has been trying to date for a while, and while we've been working out the logistical and interpersonal challenges, George has realized that he's ready for another step in his transition.
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Last time we were planning for George to take two consecutive trips, one with and one without Child#2. This time, we discuss how those trips went. As Spock said, "This is coming dangerously close to hijinks."
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If it seems like we've been travelling a lot more lately, it's because we have. It's all for good reason, though.
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When a social interaction goes sideways, especially an interaction with a stranger, there's always a question of how much bigotry played into the negative outcome. George notices those patterns in some situations, and Jess recognizes them in others, because we are, as always, opposites in so many things.
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George has been refinishing the cabinets with his workwife for over two months. Not only is that a nice long while for handyman hijinks to occur, but it's also an exhausting slog.
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When George gets a call that Child#2 may have gotten a head injury, the hijinks are only beginning.
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George ran away to baseball again, this time with his former work wife, but life didn't stop happening in his absence and was waiting for him when he returned.
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We returned home to a tribble infestation, which had been introduced by George's former workwife. She helped refinish the cabinets and went with him to baseball, all while still George was trying to manage the situation with his endocrinologist and navigate access to HRT.
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George is monogamous. Jess is not. Thankfully, this hasn't caused a problem for us, even as Jess has begun dating more actively in the past year.
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We attended Mission Chicago, but while Jess was doing all the trekkie convention things, George was visiting family he hadn't seen in decades, and seeing a ballgame.
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We both each took a kid on a trip. Jess took Child#3 to Washington DC to make up for the school trip that COVID cancelled. George took Child#2 to Arizona to visit family and so George could see spring training. As usual, shenanigans were had.
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Between a haircut at the barber, planning for separate trips with children, and helping George's aunt replace and repair her phone, we've got our hands full.
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We brought pronoun ribbons to Gallifrey One again, and the usual shenanigans happened in the process.
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George still doesn't have his testosterone prescription, but we're going to Gallifrey One anyway.
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It seems you can't go a month or two without hearing about a shortage of one HRT prescription product or another. If that were George's problem, it would be much more easy to deal with than his current problem accessing testosterone.
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George is not ready for another round of elder-care excitement, the likes of which he had when his mother came to live nearby. Ready or not...
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When last we visited the topic of George's aunt, her apartment was being house-sat by our unhoused and recently widowed friend. Everyone expected her to need housesitting for at least a month, and likely more, while our friend found a more stable housing situation. The universe had other plans.
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Because of various schedules, we had our Christmas traditions and celebrations earlier in the month. When Child#0 still holds to a shared fandom that we've outgrown, how does George respond to a gift that probably paid a TERF? And when he takes Child#2 to get an ID, it was an adventure for more reasons than just the kid.
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Holidays are in full swing, and between caring for elderly relatives and keeping company with fellow queers, we're somewhat surprised that everything seems to be working out adequately.
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Child#0 has been staying with us for about five years, but that may be about to change.
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Our family has a lot of experience in therapy, and George has experience as both the client and the provider. His job has been challenging lately, though, and he was considering leaving the profession, until he had an experience that made him rethink his retirement plans.
Our tall friend was in Episodes 162 and 163.
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When George took Child#2 to visit his sister, the trip had already been postponed and was on the verge of getting postponed again, but they went anyway, and only regretted it a little bit.
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George had to borrow Jess' car to get to a meeting, but when things aren't "as usual" mistakes can happen.
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Sometimes, even after years of transition, after surgeries and hormones and passing for the better part of a decade, gender dysphoria rears its ugly head again.
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In the competition to see who can have the most COVID-19 tests, is the goal a high score or a low one? The process of parenting sick kids, working "essentially" in health care and education, and taking ourselves down to the city for testing a few times a month, has been an adventure.
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George's orientation is monogamous, and Jess is polyamorous. A recent situation had us discussing these differences and how they affect us or might be perceived. As usual, we also touched on how these affect, or are affected by, parenting and our respective genders.
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As kids return to school, they sometimes struggle to adapt to changing routines and expectations. We do our best to support them, while they often would rather reject our support because adolescence does that.
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Does parenting in public turn us into invisiqueers? We dragged two surly teenagers to the "Happiest Place on Earth" and it was just as fun as you might imagine, if you imagined a fair-to-middling amount of fun.
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George's cousin Vinnie has spent the past month road-tripping across the country, working remotely in their tech job, and stopped by to tell us all about it.
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After having one kid gone for three weeks, we had both minor children home for July 4 and decided some family time would be good for them, even if they think they're outgrowing us. When we took them to see fireworks, George's experience as "the man of the family" was decidedly unique.
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Now that we're vaccinated, it's been nice to enjoy social time with small groups of friends, even if it's kind of weird to see them life size. From tacos and beers to a memorial at a gay bar, being around other people isn't half bad.
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Feeling his fully-vaccinated freedom, George decided to take a trip to see a ball game. Sounded like a nice escape, but nothing is ever allowed to be easy for us.
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How weird is it to say "back when I was in a cult..."? George has said it more than a few times, and it doesn't seem to get less weird each time.
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George's mindfulness practice prompted him to think of dreams that have come true, and of course his first thought was of transition. We had other dreams as well, but who would have expected gender euphoria from a meditation app?
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The ongoing prescription testosterone shortage is making it harder for many trans men to get their HRT, and George's change in prescription insurance plan has made it even more of a challenge. But we rarely back down for a challenge, and we never forget to tell y'all all about it.
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With just under a decade of marriage, and just over a decade of partnership behind us, we still have things to learn about one another. Whether it's our patterns of thinking or our patterns of communication, we still have to continue working to become better partners for one another, and it's always interesting to consider how gender affects these patterns.
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The need to change in the car before taking Child#2 swimming made us think of things that George used to do more often before transition, like swimming and massages. Then, he reminisced on how his gender would have affected his family interactions when he was younger.
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After the endocrinologist increased George's testosterone dose, his blood work changed more than expected. When we talked that over with another friend, that person detailed experiences that made us both jealous.
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Because George works in health care, he was able to get vaccinated and is now able to start carefully going to do more things outside the house, like get a haircut. The experience was odd, partly because of not having gone to a barber since a pandemic ago, and partly because of gender. Between that, another job interview, and Child#0's partner considering transition, we had an interesting week.
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After over seven years of transition, the ways gender affects our interactions often now function as "background noise", but sometimes we have cause to pay attention to them. Being on "staycation" in absence of our annual pilgrimage to the shrine of Doctor Who gave us a few of those opportunities.
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George's reaction to his second COVID-19 shot is making him rather miserable, but he still found time to sit down and talk a while about our recent experiences with the gynecologist, with exceedingly cisgender clients, and with the adult children of friends seeking relationship advice.
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George finally got back to the gynecologist, and it was as much of an adventure as one would expect.
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Many trans folks struggle to engage with their sense of adulthood when their adolescence was full of the "wrong" milestones. Many folks who grew up with trauma struggle to fully experience their sense of adulthood when they were engaging with responsibilities much earlier than many of their peers. We, as parents, struggle with both of these challenges while also trying to raise future adults.
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When we scheduled our holiday celebrations early, we expected to be done with holiday stress early... which means we can get back to our normal un-holiday stress. George is preparing to go to the gynecologist, and that has caused him to pay more attention to other trans guys' online discussions of body dysphoria.
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George got his blood work, and with fewer moments of cringe than last time. Then he got an email that made his blood boil, but he is on "vacation" right now (using up leave time before it dissolves at year-end) so he's got time to chill.
Strongbad Emails are from the website Homestar Runner, at https://homestarrunner.com/.
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Festivus is almost a month away, but we have some grievances to air. George's testosterone is still difficult to obtain, then he got postal mail for his deadname from a university he attended NOT under that deadname. Jess has hard side-eye for Discovery's writers about unburying their queers again, and also for the "catering" service that didn't bother to heat their food before handing it off for Thanksgiving.
Picture is unrelated at knowyourmeme.com/memes/picture-unrelated.
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Between Child#2's quarantine after potential COVID-19 exposure, and George's experience processing ballots for the election, life keeps moving along as George keeps noticing other short guys with less-angular features.
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As George was considering a potential promotion opportunity, he was also considering how his still-new-and-strange male privilege affected that prospective interview. Jess, on the other other hand, was considering how being out about their genderqueer status would make office interactions different in a potentially emotionally charged situation. We're both still working remotely, so that adds another layer of oddity to the entire situation, but we're making the best of it as we are able.
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Going to the doctor for "preventative maintenance" is usually a good idea, whether it's the flu shot or the gynecologist. Voting is also good "preventative maintenance" for our government, it doesn't solve all the problems but it can help prevent more problems.
Links we discussed: Queersplaining episode "civility" is at https://directory.libsyn.com/episode/index/show/thegaytheistmanifesto/id/16414673 FairFight is at FairFight.com David Tennant Does a Podcast With... episode "Stacy Abrams" is at http://www.david-tennant.co.uk/2020/08/david-tennant-does-podcast-with-stacey.html We are here to share our entire intersectional experience with anyone who finds it beneficial, but we want to know what you connect with the most. You can let us know by clicking to a one-question anonymous survey at vote.pollcode.com/32371374. If you have a request/suggestion that isn't listed, comment!
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George got some feedback on his self-introduction coming-out, and Jess sat thru a racial equity training at work. These experiences made us think about our own social and political leanings, how they became what they are, how we instill our values in our children, and how those values contrast with the smallish town we live in.
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A few weeks ago (Episode #310), we discussed George's preparation for his "all about me" presentation in his weekly meeting, at which he would come out as trans to his colleagues. Today, we recap that experience.
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With three working adults in our household, we are privileged to each have a car. But when all three cars break down at the same time, of course they picked the time for which Jess' hysterectomy was scheduled.
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George has wanted, for a while now, to be more "out" at work. Recently a teambuilding activity was introduced that may provide him the opportunity, but an overthinker like him still struggles with making it happen.
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Testosterone HRT has been known to thicken the blood, and George's hematocrit numbers are up. Jess is getting their hysterectomy, and also needs to manage their bloodwork, especially since their IUD hormones lowered their "good cholesterol" HDL. COVID-19 is making everything harder, and Jess' surgery is scheduled for the first week of school, but we'll muddle through like we always do.
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How do we help our child, who struggles to understand abstract concepts, realize that we won't like things just because they're about The Queers™? And when his other mom (who disappeared a year ago, after accusations of abuse didn't work out how she'd hoped) makes herself known again, how do we respond? And how do we help any other human ever, recognize the difference between fault and responsibility? Hard questions require ridiculous and horrible coping humor. And maybe answers. But definitely humor.
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When will we go back to work in our offices? Will George's change in Testosterone dose help his mood and functioning? When will our kids go back to school? Why does George's blood test show decreased kidney functioning? Is our new neighbor queer? So much uncertainty, but talking about it helps with the anxiety of it.
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When new descriptive terms are championed by marginalized populations, the lifespan of those words is unknown. Eventually many of those words, however, become victims of the culture of marginalization and outlive their usefulness. Whether it's the change in language around ethnic minorities, gender and sexual minorities, or disability communities, it's important to be responsive to those changes to be respectful of the members of those populations. In other news, George's blood work indicates that he should increase his testosterone dosage, but getting to, and through, that blood work has been a challenge.
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We believe that Black Lives Matter. Special needs parenting in a pandemic is somewhat prohibitive of attending marches or protests, so it's an odd feeling to be supportive from afar this round. That odd feeling, combined with the other oddities of our daily lives in quarantine, has caused George some strange stress dreams and given us cause to have discussions about our relationship that we've never needed to have before.
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Many studies have shown that working from home can be more productive than at centralized locations like an office. Lately, lots of folks have been multi-tasking while working from home, and when we had an appliance repair that needed doing, George thought he'd be able to manage it without any trouble. The universe thought differently.
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Because George is a civil servant, he is still working, even when gender makes things weird. Much of his job can be provided remotely, while simultaneously parenting and managing a challenging child's distance learning, but occasionally he does need to go to a place to do a thing. And of course, one place he had to go was a place where COVID-19 was confirmed just days thereafter.
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Bob has a slightly smaller moustache than Sir Didymus, but the resemblance stands.
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"A case of the Mondays" is the fictional ailment one might experience in an office job upon returning from a weekend. So why do George's Mondays seem longer now that he's working from home?
The Pronouns Song that Jess referenced can be found at youtube.com/watch?v=8Hb30PE1xgo.
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It's George's 7th Manniversary! We talked about how things have changed over the past decade, as his hormones have changed, his body has changed, his brain has changed, and the way others perceive him has changed.
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Some months back, we thought it might be fun to plan something for our 300th episode. In the meanwhile, a global pandemic has basically cancelled all plans. George has been on testosterone for almost seven years, but survived an estrogen-dominated body and social standing for decades prior, so it still catches him off guard sometimes to be perceived as male, whether by others or by himself.
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While quarantined with a small human, George got to work mostly from home. Jess didn't, but they were only a little put out by it. Not only did Child#2's other mom decide to show back up after half a year starting drama again, but the boy decided to express curiosity about George's genitals. For previous notable instances of the "Dick Patrol", see Episode 100 and Episode 262.
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Reality is, some people are transgender. But what that means to each trans person is highly subjective. We discussed the way our gender affects the ways we interact with one another and the world, how we live up to social norms and cultural expectations, and how we sometimes choose not to.
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We went to Gallifrey One, as we do every year in February. We help out some behind the scenes, and pay attention to the ways the LGBTQIA+ community is welcomed into the con. Between bringing the pronoun ribbons, parenting from afar, noticing women having apprehensive reactions to George's (cis-passing but intentionally visibly trans) masculinity, and Jess noticing others' reactions to the gender-affirming bathroom signage, a queer time was had by all.
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It often strikes George as slightly odd, how folks treat him now, compared to how they treated him prior to transition. It strikes him as downright bizarre, however, the excessively gendered ways in which they reinforce the genderedness of those interactions, especially after having had them pointed out. Whether it's at work, or at his endocrinologist, or at Jess' surgery, binary-minded cisgender people are weird.
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Sometimes we have time and energy to devote to gender- and transition-related topics. Sometimes we have time and energy to use on our own personal development and enrichment. Other times, things like parenting take up all of our cognitive bandwidth. And with the challenges we've been experiencing recently, that parenting thing has gotten somewhat overwhelming.
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George has mentioned before that he suffers from depression, which is slightly more common among members of the LGBTQIA+ community, although the degree of prevalence and correlation varies according to supportiveness of family and community. We discussed his experiences as both a patient and practicing clinician in the mental health industry, the strategies he employs to lessen symptoms when depression worsens, and as the overlap between his gender dysphoria and his depression.
Note that George often refers to his gender dysphoria by only the word "dysphoria", which does have other psychological meanings related to depression or mental illnesses. In this discussion, he is referring specifically to the discomfort and distress related to the incongruity between his gender identity and his sex assigned at birth.
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Everyone has expectations of what their journey through adolescence will be like, and what the adult outcomes will be. For those of us who experience more than one puberty, we have more awareness of our prior expectations as we began our second adolescence. George explains what he thought would happen, and we discuss how that compares with what actually happened.
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No, not "Be Best". That's hypocritical nonsense. George's gender is not hypocritical, and it's the most bestest thing in his whole world. Even with a trip to Chicago TARDIS, and seeing old friends, and getting deadnamed, and dealing with some of the more negative aspects of masculinity, transition is still his most best thing.
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Jess is feeling some kind of way after TDOR, and not quite ready for Thanksgiving, so George reminds them of all the things we have to be thankful for.
We referenced: - Gerry Brooks' "Teacher Spouse" bits, see one at facebook.com/watch/?v=837088456500750 - How we decided to put bizarre lawn ornaments in our yard, at transpantastic.net/2016/12/broken-string-all-gone.html
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We have had some really strangely gendered interactions lately, and the only explanation we can come up with is that the cis are not okay. From George's clients to Jess' colleagues, cisgender folks focus on their own genders in ways we find baffling, and police our gender in ways that are just annoying.
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Is George having an easier time getting broken things fixed as a guy, than he would have before? And why do we have so freaking many broken things? George got a new prescription for the higher-concentration testosterone, and one week of lower-concentration testosterone clearly made him irritable again, so between all the broken things, and naughty kids, he's having a heck of a time.
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It still catches George off guard, on occasion, when he is treated like "just some dude". He wasn't raised with male socialization, so he still catches himself confused about expectations, even six years into transition. But observing other men, who were raised as male, and the disregard they seem to have had for others, makes both of us glad he knows what it's like to lack that privilege.
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Some weeks back, George's HRT prescription was changed from 200mg/ml to 100mg/ml, basically doubling the dose to achieve the same amount of a more diluted testosterone shot. It wasn't ideal, but it was the option available to him at the time. But in the intervening weeks, he has been more irritable, and irritability can be a side effect of HRT. Is the testosterone making him cranky, or is it just the unrelenting nonsense?
The podcast we referenced is a Hidden Brain episode called "All The World's A Stage - Including The Doctor's Office", and it can be found at https://www.npr.org/2019/04/29/718227789/all-the-worlds-a-stage-including-the-doctor-s-office.
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The last time George took Child#2 to scout camp, he was very newly transitioned, and understandably concerned about how his trans status would affect the experience. George is planning to take Child#2 to scout camp again soon. Are the boy scouts more manageable than the cub scouts? Will his trans status be a problem this time?
- Episode #125 - "Hey Mom! It Works!! (Scout Camp, Part 1)"
- Episode #126 - "Eight Slices of Pizza (Scout Camp, Part 2)"
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Everyone has a personal reality, and it's much easier to function in the world if your own reality is at least similar to the reality of those around you. In Episode 78, George discussed how good it was to have someone validating that his reality was congruent with actual reality. Today we revisited that topic, discussing the realities of transition, coparenting with a toxic person, our kids' educational needs, and accessing healthcare as a nonbinary, fat, pseudo-femme person.
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When George got his drivers license changed back in 2013, he needed a doctor's note and had two options. Many states are new increasing their number of options for documentation of gender, and Jess is finally getting their license changed too, with significantly fewer barriers to access. Now that they have an accurate identity document, how many other records will they be able to change, and will that initiative to make their own changes affect the larger system of recordkeeping statewide?
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When George took Child#2 to the therapist this week, he made sure to address his supposed fears regarding gender as discussed last episode. Aside from some confusion that his other mom had likely caused by over-explaining in words and concepts that are above his cognitive level, he wasn't actually scared about gender. He was, however, using that as an attention-getting tactic with his other mom to cover for his fears regarding her physical and mental health.
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We knew that George's ex was going to start trouble again. Just like she will again after that, and again after that, in an unending cycle of attention-seeking false accusations until the child we coparent is grown, and probably even a few attempts thereafter. But what we didn't expect, was the issue she'd pick to make trouble over this time. Transgender parents often have to worry about custody concerns because of their transition, and we thought we'd dodged that bullet. We were wrong.
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We went to San Francisco for Pride, but skipped Pride. Instead, we attended Trans March and Dyke March, and enjoyed ourselves on Cousin Vinnie's boat. Trans March was wonderful, Dyke March was super, and the houseboat was quite pleasant, but we also had Child#2 to manage, and that always makes things a little more challenging.
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What do we like about each other? Why are we still happy together after almost a decade? What is it about Jess that makes George's time and effort worthwhile? What is it about George that keeps Jess coming back home every night?
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Communication is integral to a functioning relationship and a lasting marriage. After almost a decade together, you'd think we'd have figured out how to effectively discuss relational things like food, chores, or sex. And after six years of transition, you'd think we'd be able to successfully deal with things like HRT and sex. On both of these counts, you'd be wrong.
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There have been intermittent shortages of various types of HRT in the past year or so, and when George had to refill his most recent prescription he had a heck of a time trying to get what he needed.
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There's this thing that happens every year as summer approaches. Kids get antsy, and we have to work harder to help them stay out of trouble. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't. But even more important than that: is pneumonia gendered?
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Socializing at work is a common way to build a sense of teamwork, and taking time to do it can cognitively hit the reset button on one's levels of effort and engagement with assigned tasks. The way that George is expected to socialize at work is different when he's perceived as male, from how it was prior to transition. Engaging with "the guys" is still a new experience, but he's getting the hang of it in his introverted way. Jess, on the other hand, being an autistic genderqueer extrovert, wants ALL the social times, even on business trips, and doesn't always realize what's gendered and what isn't.
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George hasn't had a chance to get to the gym as much as he'd like, for the past few years. With all the stress he's been under, it's no wonder. But as things have become less stressful, he's still struggled to find the motivation to get back, and he began to examine his motives for going or not going, and discovered, among parenting and other things, gender dysphoria.
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(...with a "Z".) We are responsible for children, and occasionally for people who are chronologically adults but act like children. George dislikes fifth grade homework, and history class is giving Child#2 fits too. With history presentations coming up, our kids and their classmates give us hope for the gendered future. Child#2's other mom is unhealthy to interact with, but is manageable when George turns on his "testosterone-listening"... Many "uh-huh"s and "mm-hmm"s were heard.
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George finally had that interview he's been preparing for, and noticed once again that he was treated with a type of respect he never got when he was presenting as a butch lesbian. When we had other guy friends over, who had also previously identified as butch lesbians, they related similar experiences. When Jess joined them, George explained that his wife really isn't a girl, and they were cool. Things are going well for now, and life seems to be looking up!
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Are there rabbits on Gallifrey? Do they make trails? What color are they, under the orange sky, eating the red grass by trees with silver foliage? And does any of this relate to our experience at this year's Gallifrey One convention? Not really, and neither do ST:TNG, being gendered at work, giving ungendered gifts, facial hair styling, being assumed gay until proven otherwise, how cis folk all look the same to Jess, old-school ways of planning one's social life before cell phones, physical expressions of exhaustion, outsider views on the American education system, passing privilege, being ignored by folks who ignore men, in-crowd clocking, rodent infestations in old homes, missing spring training, and ST:Disco Tilly/Burnham shipping. But they are all offshoots from our experience at this year's Gallifrey One convention, so they fit anyway, right?
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If you can't finish that adage, let your favorite search engine's autofill help. It's a terribly heteronormative statement, but we still live in a terribly heteronormative culture. George's mustache is funny, but reinforces his masculine privilege. So does being a sportsball fan, which is interpreted completely differently now that folks perceive him as male. Life is good, but weird.
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When a government agency insists that all of its employees attend "LGBTQ Sensitivity Training", the results could be great or not-so-great. When George is one of said employees, you know we're going to talk about it. We'll also talk about the amazing upcoming Gallifrey One convention, preparing child care plans for parental escape, and pronoun ribbons!
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Continuing our month of stories, we recount how our early shared experiences shaped how we interact with one another. What did menopausal George lose his mind over? Why did Jess freak out at a Hanukkah party? We'll find that it's true, sometimes a jello is just a jello.
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Some while ago we discussed how we met over on Gender Rebels. Today we fleshed that story out a little more. Professional lesbians, f*ckbuddies at a cookout, crazy non-girlfriends, and a terrible movie ensue.
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We've discussed many times how George is able to accomplish more now, since everyone recognizes him as a man, than he could before transition. Whether that affected his ability to hold his ground with Child#2's other mom, who has known him for over two decades, may never be determined but it worked anyway. Now if he could just use that privilege to get the old guys at the gym to respect the female Tai Chi teacher the same way they do her male substitute, he'd be really proud!
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The neighbors invited us over for drinks, and we discussed many progressive topics, including trans folks. They are older, and not generally aware of the "right" way to discuss things, but they are also not entirely wrong in their understanding of the world. Child#2's other mom has been off and on the attack, and Jess keeps making predictions that they hope to be wrong, but generally aren't. Fifth grade math is a challenge for a fifth grader with a developmental delay, but it might be even more of a challenge for George to help Child#2 find right answers and right understandings instead of just hollering out things in hopes of being right.
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Between cooking for Friendsgiving and repairing unbroken Christmas decor, George encountered a transphobe at work.
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As we observed some family celebrations and prepared for the upcoming holidays, we enjoyed the company and assistance of friends and family who know how to make a good joke. #TransLOLs were had.
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After a year and a half of ridiculous stress levels caused by things like Child#2's mom trying to move them away but sending him back, George nearly being killed by his intestines, Child#2's behaviour outgrowing his meds, Jess' job change being exponentially more time and effort than advertised, various elderlies' illnesses, holidays, false abuse allegations and pursuant visitation issues, George's work schedule and duties changing irregularly and irrationally, Jess getting contracted out of the obnoxious job without a safety net, George's mother's passing, Jess getting a better job that changes their daily schedule, and the merry-go-round of dealing with an unstable coparent, things seem to finally be settling down. But is our recent sense of normalcy just a fallacy?
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Some folks alleviate dysphoria by packing, feeling better with the "bulge" where it belongs. Other folks find the process of packing to increase their dysphoria, because it is a persistent reminder of something being missing. George finds himself caught in the middle of these two mindsets, with the physical discomfort and persistent inconvenience of managing packers that don't quite fit right, and a desire to maintain his safety in a small town by not "missing" anything or causing a small human to discuss his trans status with others.
Links to content we discussed:
- Homemade milk/juice jug STP (we find the half-gallon jugs work best): youtube.com/watch?v=TLiaVVihEn4
- George's escapade with a glue-on prosthetic: transpantastic.net/2017/03/acetate-stuck-to-my-sandpaper.html
- The emergence of the "dick patrol": transpantastic.net/2015/02/dick-patrol.html
- "Safety Math", the pertinent mental calculus of personal risk related to minorty status: transpantastic.net/2015/06/safety-math.htm
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The kids are ridiculous. Parenting is bizarre. Making queer friends in the middle of nowhere is difficult. Poker isn't really a card game.
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Most members of minority communities encounter experiences that they know wouldn't happen to members of the majority community or dominant demographic. "That wouldn't happen if..." or "They only say that because..." is not an uncommon refrain, not only among queer and trans communities, but also among POCs, religious minorities, and differently abled persons. Between Jess' new job and being percieved as a "girl", George's continuing experience as a man who was socialized female, and our experience raising children with unique challenges, we have our share of "unusual" experiences as well.
Gerry Brooks is the principal and public speaker we referenced, and you can find more about him at gerrybrooksprin.com, and you can view the "Summer Spouse" video we referenced at facebook.com/gerrybrooksprin/videos/summer-spousetag-a-summer-spouse/837088456500750.
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When George's ex (Child#2's other mom) accused Jess of abuse, everyone knew it was bunk, but nobody realized just how much trouble she would continue to make in the long run. But even when it's not being complicated by difficult adults, parenting is still hard, and as our two youngest become tweens, we are doing our best to continue to be good parents and good people.
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Jess has had some trouble with coworkers and employers percieving their direct demeanor as unsettling or off-putting. This is not an uncommon experience for AFAB persons who have a more masculine way of being in the world, but the ubiquity of the experience doesn't make it any more pleasant. They got a new job last year, but felt it to be a poor fit, so attempted to find a different position this year. Interviews abound, but offers were scarce, should they femme it up some? And how the heck should they do that? Also, it's a good thing George already had gotten his birth certificate corrected, because he needs it to manage some more of his mother's final arrangements.
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When you're going to encounter a new situation, it's often a good idea to do a little research. We went to LoveLoud, a one-day music festival in Utah that benefits charities supporting LGBTQ youth. The music was great, the host was awesome, and visiting friends in Salt Lake City was wonderful. Visiting the Mormon Temple complex in trans pride clothing was interesting. George isn't stealth at work, but he's not completely out either, so he often ends up in awkward situations answering questions that people could have researched for themselves. When our Child#1 tried to go overseas, it didn't work as well as he'd hoped, but that's an unfortunate side effect of not doing his research.
The links we referenced in today's episode are: - Entire livestream video link expired, but video of ID performing is at youtube.com/watch?v=2d8c8-OGSzw - The bathrooms: huffingtonpost.com/entry/loveloud-music-festival-transgender-bathrooms_us_5b60772ce4b0b15aba9d0411
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The process of caring for a relative in hospice is never easy. The process of managing care duties and communicating with extended family and caring for our own kids left us drained, but George's mom is no longer in pain and the responsibilities are getting managed. Now if we could just get all the old people to quit "she"ing him and making themselves look like crazy old people, we'd be good.
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After the shock of being accused of Jess abusing Child#2 and George allowing him to be abused, we found our footing back in reality as the surrounding circumstances began to shed light on the missing parts of the story. Jess didn't hurt her kid, George wasn't neglectful, and Child#2 and his other mom are both bullies who see themselves as victims. The damage is done, and we're still picking up the pieces, but it looks like our family is on the mend, and George's goodness is slightly less infinite but still quite plentiful.
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Child#2 was adopted by George before his transition, in a time when almost nowhere allowed same-sex second parent adoption. In his infinite goodness, he continued to provide his ex a form of joint physical custody, and numerous supports for her to be an effective parent. As a spoonie, she has been in and out of her child's life with no judgment or ill will from us, but the most recent time she came back, she brought all hell with her, and accused Jess of abusing Child#2. Will we be cleared of these allegations? Will we lose our jobs? Will we be able to maintain our marriage?
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Oh, wait, it's pride month? Jess' history with pride events is fairly limited, but George has been to many over the years. From "accidentally" attending a parade in Chicago as an egg-mode high-schooler, to bar hopping in Hawaii, to the first Dyke March in San Francisco, to Child#2 walking in the Trans March in his socks, he's been around the block a bit, but that doesn't stop us from planning for more.
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While trying to manage George's mom's health care (in between all the other nonsense we deal with on a regular basis) we realized that his straight white male privilege doesn't go as far in female-led settings as it does in more heterogeneously gendered settings. Between her previously mentioned broken shoulder, three hospital visits, uncontrolled diabetes, an antibiotic-resistant UTI, c.diff, and three nursing homes, George's mom has had a go of it, and George has been chasing after all her needs as best he can. Which isn't easy, when everyone he interacts with is (understandably) tired of some guy telling them how to do their job!
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Dysphoria sucks. As a genderqueer person, some of our culture's homophobic and transphobic framing of fluidity has seeped into Jess' psyche, as evidenced by their reaction to a recent discussion about their dysphoria. Jess' dysphoria as a nonbinary person is different from George's dysphoria as a binary trans man, but they share some similarities.
George uses STP's made from half-gallon plastic jugs, like those seen in the links below: - youtube.com/watch?v=TLiaVVihEn4 - youtube.com/watch?v=kmHFvqLuMxU
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George's mom broke her shoulder, Child#2's other mom also had a medical emergency, and both of these things happened on the same day that George had two appointments and Child#2 had one. George's anxiety has anxiety, his mom still can't use the right pronouns and doesn't even recognize him half the time when she percieves him as male, but he still feels spoiled because Jess does his shot. Brightsiding. It helps.
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We have the busy. We had bed bugs. We have less furniture. The changing furniture is not related to the bed bugs. We have still more busy. When we're not busy managing bed bugs, or giving our kid's other mom's old furniture back to her, or parenting, or working, sometimes we like to relax with a book, a movie, a podcast, or a TV show.
Media we mentioned or enjoy:
- TV
- Take My Wife
- Poirot
- Instinct
- Doctor Who
- Star Trek
- Kimmy Schmidt
- Comedy
- Riley Silverman
- Cameron Esposito
- Rhea Butcher
- Books
- Waypoint Kangaroo
- Agatha Christie
- Sherlock Holmes
- Script Doctor
- Future of Humanity
- Space Chronicles
- Periodicals
- Original Plumbing
- FTM Magazine
- Doctor Who Comics
- Podcasts
- Three Swings
- Put Your Hands Together
- Transition Transmission
- Minnesota Trans Atheist
- The Cis Are Getting Out Of Hand
- Gender Rebels
- Beyond Gender
- Diary of a Trans Woman
- Trans SWAG
- Star Talk Radio
- Radio Free Skaro
- Verity!
- Trek FM
- Black Tribbles
- Black Nerd Power
- The Nod
- This QPOC Life
- Strange Fruit
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Our challenges are "mildly" increased lately, and by "mildly" we mean completely and entirely. Just like Jess is "mildly" tech-addicted, and George is "mildly" overscheduled. But we stay afloat as we usually do, with lots of "mild" coping humor and the blessing of therapists who aren't gender-dumb.
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George and Jess have been like ships passing in the night lately, often near but rarely interacting with one another, because of extra responsibilities and challenging circumstances. So today, at a distance, we engaged in some "first date" conversation starters, just to re-engage with one another and make sure we could have a conversation.
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While we were at Gallifrey One, we got the opportunity to sit down with one member of the amazing queer Doctor Who pocast, The Web Of Queer. Mikayla is a non-binary aromantic asexual from Ontario, Canada. They were introduced to Doctor Who in 2007, when they started watching it out of self defence in their first year of university. Much to their surprise, they discovered that they actually liked the show everyone was talking about. We got to talking about the infighting among the LGBTQIA+ family and the exclusionary tendencies some folks express toward the Ace and Aro members, as well as the process by which Mikayla came to identify as non-binary and the commonalities of Jess' pansexuality, Mikayla's asexuality, and both of their gender-nonconformity.
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Getting ready to go to Gallifrey One, like any time we need to leave our kids and other responsibilities behind, is always a challenge. It's our one time each year that we genuinely reserve for only ourselves, but we never get to be actually responsibility-free, and it's sometimes more work to prepare the responsibilities to be left than it would be to just stay and manage them. George's work schedule changed, kids and pets needed supervision, the house needed to be cleaned to welcome the supervision, and travel plans needed to be managed. But we got there.
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We can be found online at TransPanTastic.net, you can email us at TransPanTastic@gmail.com, and "TransPanTastic" is searchable on most social networks. We would love to hear from you, so let us know what you think or what you want to hear about!
When Jess and George first met, George noted Jess' odd inability to notice or remember certain details unless they were pointed out. They could tell you the title of that one Star Trek episode with "that one thing that did the thing", but they couldn't remember where they put their glasses or when their next staff meeting was supposed to be. They would vacuum and scrub and dust but leave that once-worn pair of jeans on the arm of the couch for over a week or miss a giant puke stain on the side of the toilet. Jess thought there might be something wrong with themself... Until George finally hit parenting-and-exhaustion parity. Between managing the extra challenges of children moving out and back again, then being in and out of the hospital, then handling kids' behavioural reactions to too all those transitions, his cognitive and motivational capacity has finally hit the level of overload that Jess has lived with for decades. Turns out neither of them is lazy or forgetful, they're just overwhelmed.
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We're blessed today to speak with our favorite "cissy", Peterson Toscano. Through his one-person comedies and lively lectures, he has delighted audiences throughout North America, Europe, and Africa as he takes on social justice concerns. His plays and talks humorously explore the serious topics of LGBTQ issues, sexism, racism, privilege, gender, and climate change. You can learn more about his work at PetersonToscano.com.
We also referenced:
- Queer and Queerer: zackfordblogs.com/queer-and-queerer/
- Climate Stew: climatestew.com/
- Citizens' Climate Radio: soundcloud.com/citizensclimateradio
- Transfigurations Lecture Version on Amazon: amazon.com/Transfigurations-Transgressing-Gender-Peterson-Toscano/dp/B0717577TK/
- Transfigurations DVD with Lecture and Performance Versions: petersontoscano.com/portfolio/transfigurations/
- Doin' Time in the Homo NoMo Halfway House: petersontoscano.com/homo-no-mo-download/
- The Amazing Adventures of the Afterbirth of Jesus: etsy.com/listing/517993857/the-amazing-adventures-of-the-afterbirth
We are here to share our entire intersectional experience with anyone who finds it beneficial, but we want to know what you connect with the most. You can let us know by clicking to a one-question anonymous survey at vote.pollcode.com/32371374. If you have a request/suggestion that isn't listed, comment!
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The holidays happened. As often, in blended families, they happened on the "wrong" day. As often, in our family, they came with the usual nonsense of crazy old people, crazy small people, and Jess and George trying not to catch the crazy. Then George took Child#2 and hopped on a plane to his sister's house, where things were amazingly heteronormative, and he didn't catch the crazy but he might have caught the flu.
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George's male privilege has, generally, made his life easier at work, but there are some ways in which the changes haven't made his job easier. Jess' new position has also had gendery oddness, and they have noticed many more effects of privilege, both from gender and from class. But as a teacher, Jess is happy to have created a culture in their classroom that offers students the freedom to be themselves and express their orientations, identities, and other aspects of their selves, in ways that best suit them.
We are here to share our entire intersectional experience with anyone who finds it beneficial, but we want to know what you connect with the most. You can let us know by clicking to a one-question anonymous survey at vote.pollcode.com/32371374. If you have a request/suggestion that isn't listed, comment!
We can be found online at TransPanTastic.net, you can email us at TransPanTastic@gmail.com, and "TransPanTastic" is searchable on most social networks. We would love to hear from you, so let us know what you think or what you want to hear about!
After her eye surgery, George got five calls in three days from his mother, who really should've called 911 instead of him each time. Jess should know by now to expect George's elderly and increasingly senile relatives to act like toddlers. It shouldn't come as a surprise to them when his aunt has a temper tantrum, or when his mother refuses to use her walker because "I can do it myself!", but here we are.
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Flamingoes? Meh. Depression and transition. They are things. They affect one another. George shares his experiences. Jess pokes him. We have a conversation about depression and gender dysphoria. Can you hear George's brainfog? And what is "Gender Lite"? Or is it "GenderLight!!!"? Could we hang Gender Lights on the awning when the Christmas Lights come down?
We are here to share our entire intersectional experience with anyone who finds it beneficial, but we want to know what you connect with the most. You can let us know by clicking to a one-question anonymous survey at vote.pollcode.com/32371374. If you have a request/suggestion that isn't listed, comment!
We can be found online at TransPanTastic.net, you can email us at TransPanTastic@gmail.com, and "TransPanTastic" is searchable on most social networks. We would love to hear from you, so let us know what you think or what you want to hear about!
George's health has been a challenge for some months now, but things are looking up. Which is good, because his insurance is changing, and it'd be a real challenge to adapt to new providers while still trying to manage that crisis.
We are here to share our entire intersectional experience with anyone who finds it beneficial, but we want to know what you connect with the most. You can let us know by clicking to a one-question anonymous survey at vote.pollcode.com/32371374. If you have a request/suggestion that isn't listed, comment!
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No, not that Manning. We're verbing nouns, like "adulting" and "friending", and Ms. Manning is decidedly and intentionally not manning. George, on the other hand, totally is, and has reached that point of passing where everyone acknowledges that he is male, without consciously acknowledging anything at all. From children at a fair to colleagues at work, nobody bats an eye at treating him like "just some guy". Which is kind of awesome.
We are here to share our entire intersectional experience with anyone who finds it beneficial, but we want to know what you connect with the most. You can let us know by clicking to a one-question anonymous survey at vote.pollcode.com/32371374. If you have a request/suggestion that isn't listed, comment!
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George has been responsible for ALL the people for some time now, elderly and juvenile alike, but Child#2 has really made extra cause for responsibility lately, and every Friday is have-a-fit day. Will he try to accuse us of abuse again? Will we be able to maintain our sanity while we help him grow out of this habit? Will he actually pull his processing out of his brainstem long enough to pull his head out of his ass? Your guess is as good as ours.
We are here to share our entire intersectional experience with anyone who finds it beneficial, but we want to know what you connect with the most. You can let us know by clicking to a one-question anonymous survey at vote.pollcode.com/32371374. If you have a request/suggestion that isn't listed, comment!
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In the second part of our conversation with our friend Z, he shares his experiences discovering more about his indigenous heritage, living in a inter-racial relationship, and coming to a broader understanding of faith. We discussed various topics related to racial justice, supporting oppressed minorities, colonialism and capitalism, and all sorts of other ways in which he, and we all, can be overcomers.
Z recommends finding out more about, and if possible supporting, the following organizations/projects:
America In Transition: http://americaintransition.org/
Trans LifeLine: http://www.translifeline.org/
TransLatin@ Coalition: http://www.translatinacoalition.org/
Black Lives Matter: http://blacklivesmatter.com/
We are here to share our entire intersectional experience with anyone who finds it beneficial, but we want to know what you connect with the most. You can let us know by clicking to a one-question anonymous survey at vote.pollcode.com/32371374. If you have a request/suggestion that isn't listed, comment!
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Our long-time friend Z is an FtM activist and long-time advocate for the trans community, the LGBTQIA+ faith community, and communities of color. He appears in the series America In Transition, currently in development. (You should go support this amazing project at americaintransition.org!) In our recent discussion, he recounts his path toward becoming an unlikely activist. Childhood trauma, military service, DADT, living with PTSD, and learning to trust his Spirit, all led him to become the man he is today.
We are here to share our entire intersectional experience with anyone who finds it beneficial, but we want to know what you connect with the most. You can let us know by clicking to a one-question anonymous survey at vote.pollcode.com/32371374. If you have a request/suggestion that isn't listed, comment!
We can be found online at TransPanTastic.net, you can email us at TransPanTastic@gmail.com, and "TransPanTastic" is searchable on most social networks. We would love to hear from you, so let us know what you think or what you want to hear about!
Jess' new job is amazing, so long as they don't check their email. Entitled parents of entitled children are entitled, and it's driving Jess a little bonkers. George is back to working full time too, and some of the ladies have noticed that he's lost weight. But being sick for four months solid will do that to a person.
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George has a respiratory infection, the kids are getting ready for back-to-school, and Child#2 decided he'd try to get out of trouble by getting Jess in trouble.
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Announcing a scheduling change... TransPanTastic will be moving to a biweekly release format, and our next full episode will be released next week.
We are here to share our entire intersectional experience with anyone who finds it beneficial, but we want to know what you connect with the most. You can let us know by clicking to a one-question anonymous survey at vote.pollcode.com/32371374. If you have a request/suggestion that isn't listed, comment!
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George had a dream. Social isolation and awkwardness were not the dream he wanted. But they got us thinking about various types of social isolation that he has encountered as an introvert, as a trans guy, as a geek, as a convention attendee, as a cis-passing guy, and as all of those things at once.
We are here to share our entire intersectional experience with anyone who finds it beneficial, but we want to know what you connect with the most. You can let us know by clicking to a one-question anonymous survey at vote.pollcode.com/32371374. If you have a request/suggestion that isn't listed, comment!
We can be found online at TransPanTastic.net, you can email us at TransPanTastic@gmail.com, and "TransPanTastic" is searchable on most social networks. We would love to hear from you, so let us know what you think or what you want to hear about!
George's elderly aunt (who insists that she doesn't have memory problems) has been claiming for months that "they'll send me to the funny farm" for her behaviour. Eventually it became self-fulfilling prophecy. Add his neurotic sister, his elderly mother, and Child#2 into the mix, and George's recovery and attempts to return to work aren't going as smoothly as we'd hoped. But we should know better, by now, than to expect anything to ever go smoothly around here. Thankfully, passing as male improves his chances of having his own health needs considered important by those around him, who are still expecting him to manage everyone else, as life keeps happening and he keeps being the most functional person in the room.
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We can be found online at TransPanTastic.net, you can email us at TransPanTastic@gmail.com, and "TransPanTastic" is searchable on most social networks. We would love to hear from you, so let us know what you think or what you want to hear about!
We've annually chronicled Jess' struggles to find a job that will get them out of elementary and back into working with older students. This year was another trip on the merry-go-round, with popcorn and dominoes thrown in for good measure. Will they escape kindergarten this year?
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George is still recovering from surgery, but the world doesn't quit relying on him while he's down. Child#2 is supposed to be visiting with his other mom, but we're noticing a pattern in the failure rate of those visits. When it comes time to rescue the kid, everyone else is experiencing their own increased failure to function, so it's on us to save the day again.
We are here to share our entire intersectional experience with anyone who finds it beneficial, but we want to know what you connect with the most. You can let us know by clicking to a one-question anonymous survey at vote.pollcode.com/32371374. If you have a request/suggestion that isn't listed, comment!
We can be found online at TransPanTastic.net, you can email us at TransPanTastic@gmail.com, and "TransPanTastic" is searchable on most social networks. We would love to hear from you, so let us know what you think or what you want to hear about!
There are many aspects of our relationship that are heterogenous. We are a mixed-faith couple, mixed-orientation, and we also come from different generations. Being raised in distinctly different times caused us distinctly different experiences with regards to technology, culture, and gender. Dysphoria was more distinctly gendered for George, in a time when everything was much more gendered, while Jess' more flexible "modern" upbringing didn't highlight the genderedness of their awkwardness.
We are here to share our entire intersectional experience with anyone who finds it beneficial, but we want to know what you connect with the most. You can let us know by clicking to a one-question anonymous survey at vote.pollcode.com/32371374. If you have a request/suggestion that isn't listed, comment!
We can be found online at TransPanTastic.net, you can email us at TransPanTastic@gmail.com, and "TransPanTastic" is searchable on most social networks. We would love to hear from you, so let us know what you think or what you want to hear about!
George's recovery is going as well as can be expected, when everyone still expects him to manage them. Child#2 is having an especially difficult time managing himself, and the other adults who have charge of him are getting a run for their money. From being suspended the last week of school, to breaking furniture, to pestering his other caregivers for his video game, he just can't give any of us a break!
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We can be found online at TransPanTastic.net, you can email us at TransPanTastic@gmail.com, and "TransPanTastic" is searchable on most social networks. We would love to hear from you, so let us know what you think or what you want to hear about!
George's surgery went better than it could have. Both the pre-admit appointment and the hospital stay went well, and nobody had a visible reaction to his questions about the effect of his trans status on his upcoming surgery. Recovery is a challenge, but nowhere near as hard as it could have been. Nonetheless, dysphoria has a way of finding us, even when things are going well.
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We can be found online at TransPanTastic.net, you can email us at TransPanTastic@gmail.com, and "TransPanTastic" is searchable on most social networks. We would love to hear from you, so let us know what you think or what you want to hear about!
The intersection of lesbian parenting and multi-cultural family life, highlights Vinnie's experiences with gender and discrimination, and we discuss how George's transition has affected his parenting interactions. Returning to their experiences as a non-transitioning female-assigned person in a male-dominated field, Vinnie clarifies a few points and we all discuss our experiences of gender in the workplace. Rambly trans conversation continues!
We are here to share our entire intersectional experience with anyone who finds it beneficial, but we want to know what you connect with the most. You can let us know by clicking to a one-question anonymous survey at vote.pollcode.com/32371374. If you have a request/suggestion that isn't listed, comment!
We can be found online at TransPanTastic.net, you can email us at TransPanTastic@gmail.com, and "TransPanTastic" is searchable on most social networks. We would love to hear from you, so let us know what you think or what you want to hear about!
Our first ever guest, from Ep#95 and Ep#96, has come back to visit! We mentioned, then, how their new car affected their frequency of traffic stops, but they have since observed the effect of various other drivers in their old truck. Following up on George and Jess' discussion of health care challenges, Vinnie contribues their doctor experiences to our discussion. Then we return to a frequent discussion topic, sexism in the workplace. Long rambly conversation commence!
We are here to share our entire intersectional experience with anyone who finds it beneficial, but we want to know what you connect with the most. You can let us know by clicking to a one-question anonymous survey at vote.pollcode.com/32371374. If you have a request/suggestion that isn't listed, comment!
We can be found online at TransPanTastic.net, you can email us at TransPanTastic@gmail.com, and "TransPanTastic" is searchable on most social networks. We would love to hear from you, so let us know what you think or what you want to hear about!
As George recovers from his last hospital stay and prepares for his upcoming surgery, he recalls his concerns about his gender and how others will be affected by it. He also expresses a sense of "nakedness" from the lack of bodily self-determination. Then he realizes, all those types of discomfort are part of dysphoria! Jess also recalls experiencing dysphoria that they didn't realize was dysphoria, although their dysphoria is often more social, while George's was more physical. How do we cope with, or work around, discomfort with our respective genders? That's a skill that we've both got a pretty good handle on, but still requires effort at times.
We are here to share our entire intersectional experience with anyone who finds it beneficial, but we want to know what you connect with the most. You can let us know by clicking to a one-question anonymous survey at vote.pollcode.com/32371374. If you have a request/suggestion that isn't listed, comment!
We can be found online at TransPanTastic.net, you can email us at TransPanTastic@gmail.com, and "TransPanTastic" is searchable on most social networks. We would love to hear from you, so let us know what you think or what you want to hear about!
When George's intestines try to kill him, when Child#3 is a stinky hoarder, when Child#2 has bizarrely unrealistic expectations of us, it's good to be able to use some coping humor. George's ability to cope with strong emotion has increased over his time on HRT, although he still finds his patience has a tendency to disappear abruptly.
We are here to share our entire intersectional experience with anyone who finds it beneficial, but we want to know what you connect with the most. You can let us know by clicking to a one-question anonymous survey at vote.pollcode.com/32371374. If you have a request/suggestion that isn't listed, comment!
We can be found online at TransPanTastic.net, you can email us at TransPanTastic@gmail.com, and "TransPanTastic" is searchable on most social networks. We would love to hear from you, so let us know what you think or what you want to hear about!
The full version of the last three episodes, with a new outtake from Episode 1!
0:00:23 - 0:36:26 TPT#218 - Getting Your Hands On The Substance
On George's fourth manniversary we reminisce about his transgender journey, from the earliest days of his first decision to transition, to the difficulty he had in accessing HRT, and the joy of finally getting the right amount of testosterone in his body. The following episodes were referenced, at the following times:
-
- 0:02:29 - Episode 1: making the decision to transition
-
- 0:04:05 - Episode 1: impatience with access to transition
-
- 0:09:22 - Episode 7: George's "trans narrative"
-
- 0:18:03 - Episode 4: insurance and healthcare access
-
- 0:27:20 - Episode 13: the joy of starting HRT
0:36:26 - 1:15:54 TPT#219 - The Royal "We"
Continuing our fourth manniversary trans-in-review, once George finally got HRT started, his body began changing. Once the changes became noticable, it was time to start coming out as male. Coming out to our kids and family was no problem. Working for the government, however, and especially in a small town, meant that nothing could be easy and especially not coming out. The following episodes were referenced, at the following times:
-
- 0:37:18 - Episode 25: early changes on testosterone
-
- 0:45:10 - Episode 20: coming out to the kids
-
- 0:53:26 - Episode 28: trying to prepare for coming out at work
-
- 1:04:25 - Episode 29: finally getting to come out at work
1:15:54 - 1:48:35
TPT#220 - Looking Right At Me
In our final installment of George's fourth manniversary reminiscings, we discuss some of the things that are better for George, now that he's regularly percieved as the man he is. From men's rooms and STPs, to clothes and how they fit, to the way he's treated in our culture, life is better for him now than it's ever been. The following episodes were referenced, at the following times:
-
- 1:16:12 - Episode 56: the men's room report
-
- 1:18:51 - Episode 66: packing and STPs
-
- 1:22:51 - Episode 116: finding clothes that fit
-
- 1:26:18 - Episode 138: self-determination, regardless of clothes
-
- 1:37:35 - Episode 120: "safety math" & cultural perceptions
-
- 1:42:04 - Episode 45: social perception, people are weird
-
- 1:44:14 - Episode 89: being treated differently as a man
We are here to share our entire intersectional experience with anyone who finds it beneficial, but we want to know what you connect with the most. You can let us know by clicking to a one-question anonymous survey at vote.pollcode.com/32371374. If you have a request/suggestion that isn't listed, comment!
We can be found online at TransPanTastic.net, you can email us at TransPanTastic@gmail.com, and "TransPanTastic" is searchable on most social networks. We would love to hear from you, so let us know what you think or what you want to hear about!
In our final installment of George's fourth manniversary reminiscings, we discuss some of the things that are better for George, now that he's regularly percieved as the man he is. From men's rooms and STPs, to clothes and how they fit, to the way he's treated in our culture, life is better for him now than it's ever been. The following episodes were referenced, at the following times:
-
- 01:06 - Episode 56: the men's room report
-
- 03:45 - Episode 66: packing and STPs
-
- 07:45 - Episode 116: finding clothes that fit
-
- 11:11 - Episode 138: self-determination, regardless of clothes
-
- 22:30 - Episode 120: "safety math" & cultural perceptions
-
- 26:59 - Episode 45: social perception, people are weird
-
- 29:08 - Episode 89: being treated differently as a man
We are here to share our entire intersectional experience with anyone who finds it beneficial, but we want to know what you connect with the most. You can let us know by clicking to a one-question anonymous survey at vote.pollcode.com/32371374. If you have a request/suggestion that isn't listed, comment!
We can be found online at TransPanTastic.net, you can email us at TransPanTastic@gmail.com, and "TransPanTastic" is searchable on most social networks. We would love to hear from you, so let us know what you think or what you want to hear about!
Continuing our fourth manniversary trans-in-review, once George finally got HRT started, his body began changing. Once the changes became noticable, it was time to start coming out as male. Coming out to our kids and family was no problem. Working for the government, however, and especially in a small town, meant that nothing could be easy and especially not coming out. The following episodes were referenced, at the following times:
-
- 01:42 - Episode 25: early changes on testosterone
-
- 09:37 - Episode 20: coming out to the kids
-
- 17:54 - Episode 28: trying to prepare for coming out at work
-
- 28:55 - Episode 29: finally getting to come out at work
We are here to share our entire intersectional experience with anyone who finds it beneficial, but we want to know what you connect with the most. You can let us know by clicking to a one-question anonymous survey at vote.pollcode.com/32371374. If you have a request/suggestion that isn't listed, comment!
We can be found online at TransPanTastic.net, you can email us at TransPanTastic@gmail.com, and "TransPanTastic" is searchable on most social networks. We would love to hear from you, so let us know what you think or what you want to hear about!
On George's fourth manniversary we reminisce about his transgender journey, from the earliest days of his first decision to transition, to the difficulty he had in accessing HRT, and the joy of finally getting the right amount of testosterone in his body. The following episodes were referenced, at the following times:
-
- 02:29 - Episode 1: making the decision to transition
-
- 04:05 - Episode 1: impatience with access to transition
-
- 09:22 - Episode 7: George's "trans narrative"
-
- 18:03 - Episode 4: insurance and healthcare access
-
- 27:20 - Episode 13: the joy of starting HRT
We are here to share our entire intersectional experience with anyone who finds it beneficial, but we want to know what you connect with the most. You can let us know by clicking to a one-question anonymous survey at vote.pollcode.com/32371374. If you have a request/suggestion that isn't listed, comment!
We can be found online at TransPanTastic.net, you can email us at TransPanTastic@gmail.com, and "TransPanTastic" is searchable on most social networks. We would love to hear from you, so let us know what you think or what you want to hear about!
Health care is a complicated subject, and getting health care as a transgender person can be even more so. Is the doctor choosing not to touch your body because she's bigoted, or just inept? Is a nurse being snotty because he's tired after a long shift, or because he took a look at your records? As George ages, health care interactions are going to become more frequent, and it's important that his providers are all capable and competent to work with populations of all genders. The good news is, his intestines tried to kill him just in time to have a day off for the mad rush on Gallifrey One hotel reservations!
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We got Child#0 to sit down with us at the mic, and we discussed their process of discovering their identity as agender. Egg mode made a traumatic childhood more traumatic, but George and his then wife's welcoming home helped them begin to recover. They are still recovering, and as they come to a larger understanding of human gender, the recognition that "there are others like me and I'm not just broken" is something that many of us can identify with. George took a binary backseat for most of the conversation, as the genderqueer folks discussed their identities and experiences.
Dara Hoffman-Fox's book is currently being reissued by a new publisher and is available for preorder at DiscoverYourGenderIdentity.com.
Ivan Coyote has written and performed a number of amazing pieces on the nature of gender and the way it is percieved by western culture, but the ones we referenced today are at dailyxtra.com/vancouver/dear-lady-in-the-womens-washroom-4771 and slate.com/blogs/outward/2014/04/11/transgender_in_public_bathrooms_why_does_our_safety_always_come_second.html.
We used the problematic terms "fag" and "faggy" as shorthand for a stereotype of an effeminate gay male. We understand that as a reclamation term it is generally expected to be used only by members of a minority of which we may not be percieved to be a part. For a fuller explanation of cultural expectations around reappropriation of slurs, check out a great piece by the late Matt Kailey at mattkailey.wordpress.com/2014/02/17/ask-matt-three-criteria-for-reclaiming-harmful-language. We chose to retain this term in today's conversation because it exemplifies the conflation of gender and orientation that is common in western culture and against which we still struggle in our own processing.
The pictures Jess showed Child#0 of presentations they identify with are:
and
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George is a gnome, and heteronormativity is weird AF. The human brain has a propensity to fill in gaps in available knowledge with inferences based on prior experience. We categorize things and synthesize ideas to assign meaning to things we don't fully understand. But when someone's entire experience is comprised of only one type of experience, they may apply inaccurate preconceptions to those of us whose existence has been primarily outside of a majority or mainstream.
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TSA PreCheck is a great benefit to people who transition. We highly recommend it, if it's available to you. It made a lot of our recent travel less stressful, as has George's male presentation.
Child#0 is a great benefit to our sanity as we deal with nonsense caused by both the nine-year-old toddler and the seventy-year-old toddlers. And we finally get them onto the mic! (We refer to Child#0 as "her" in this, and a couple more future episodes, but it is worth noting that they have, since the time of recording, expressed an identification with the pronoun "they".) When Child#2 insists on alternative facts, reacting against routine and structure after having had none, subconsciously desiring that sense of safety in boundaries that children often seek through testing and pushing their parents' limits, it's great to have Child#0 as another sane adult with whom to check our reality.
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When We Rise is a docudrama miniseries, in four double-episodes, that highlights specific leaders in, and key moments of, the American historical struggle for LGBTQIA+ equality. After watching it, we reminisced about our own experiences as we lived through many of the events that were explored in the show, and how George's experiences with the Gay and Lesbian communities in his young adulthood were shaped by his gender, even in egg mode.
You can watch When We Rise at http://abc.go.com/shows/when-we-rise.
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The lots-o-travel month has come to an end, and George thought he could finally get back to being productive at work. But he was wrong. Thankfully, his male privilege made life easier when trying to help problem-solve for a family member who was caught driving down the highway in the wrong direction!
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When Child#2 went to stay with his mother at Christmas break, we knew there was a possibility that he would be back. We knew that his mother's family were rich, entitled, control freaks. We knew he was a bigger challenge than they were expecting. That doesn't change our disappointment that he won't get the care he was promised. Happy spring break, friends!
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That new dick we mentioned a couple weeks back? Yeah, George tried it. Medical adhesive mishaps and prosthetic penis shenanigans ensued. Fun was had. And by fun, we mean awkwardness and discomfort.
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Child#2's other mom has asked for him to move with her out of state, and we have no good reason to refuse. But the adventures of raising our most challenging child don't stop just because he's a couple hundred miles away. George went to visit him back before we went to Gallifrey One, and we recap the challenges up to the time he returned, from dealing with controlling ex-in-laws, to informing the kids of the recent death in our chosen family.
Various versions of the Family Circle comic "map" George refers to can be found at http://familycircus.com/comic_tag/billys-map/.
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George's old-guy problems haven't quit, although we get more gendery observations on them. He observes the self-segregation of people by gender, considering his place in one of the two groups that folks tend to segregate themselves into. People who've known George for a long time, but haven't seen him in a while, react to the "effectiveness" of his transition. We consider the struggles of dressing formally by gender.
Oh, and did we mention that George got a new dick? Sooner or later we'll figure out how to attach it!
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In case you missed it on our social media, we attended Gallifrey One again this year. After the usual three-ring-circus known as "the logistics of leaving our responsibilities behind", we brought pronoun ribbons (pronounribbons.org) and were lucky enough to find some folks to pass them out on our behalf. Then we went on about our merry con-going, to encounter various awkward situations, and as most transfolk have occasion to do, George overthinks the difference between gendery awkwardness and regular awkwardness.
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At the time of recording, George was supposed to be preparing to visit Child#2 at his mother's house, out of state. But emergency rooms kept happening. Thankfully, not for him this time. We consider, for a moment, the oddities of being treated as male in these situations, how it is different from his prior treatment, and then return to managing the situations.
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George's body has seemed to age a little more rapidly in the past few years, and while we're not sure whether that's a result of HRT, or stress, or environment, or a little of each, the result is the same. He weighs less, but his pants are tighter. His back and neck pain have increased. And the process of finding a mattress that will better support his aging back has been a long one.
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We attended the women's march solidarity event for our region, and it was pretty cool. George is a feminist, a TransDad, and a man who was perceived as female for decades, all of which make him a heck of a feminist father. But how to act on that feminism? How does one act as an ally and accomplice in movements for the rights of the oppressed, when one is a member of the dominant (and historically oppressive) culture?
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George's insurance plan rolled over at the new year, and he needed to re-authorize a prescription. Child#2's prescriptions may not be covered for some time until his new insurance is effective in his new state. And Republicans in congress don't care who gets insurance or not, so long as they get to enforce their expectations and worldview. But no matter what is wrong, we know that some woman, somewhere, will be competent to take care of it.
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We continue our conversation with the Gender Rebels this week, Kath and Faith discuss their experiences travelling before and after transition, and we observe the nature of the transition workload. So many things to do, and it's great that they all get to happen, but damn, it's a lot of work!
You can hear the Gender Rebels at http://genderrebels.podbean.com/ where they host a weekly question-and-answer podcast that explores life outside the gender binary.
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We can has guests?! Sweet! Today we sat down with the amazing ladies of the Gender Rebels podcast. Two transitioning people and their two partners swap stories of, among other things, the mental flexibility required to manage various stages of "outage".
You can hear the Gender Rebels at http://genderrebels.podbean.com/ where they host a weekly question-and-answer podcast that explores life outside the gender binary.
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♪♫ On the adjusted date of Christmas, the universe gave to me: twelve-hour workdays, eight forgotten presents, five diabetic crashes, two cases of norovirus, and a sex toy infomercial at the hospital! ♪♫
As usual, we celebrated Christmas on a day that was not 25 December, but as not-usual it went fairly smoothly. The fun didn't start until later, but when it did, George's status as male made his mother's care easier to manage, and his trans status made his own hospital visit slightly more confusing.
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When Child#2 was adopted by George and his ex-wife, they had no clue just how uniquely challenging he would become. We are now preparing for him to move out of state with her, with hope for his improved wellbeing as well as for our sanity. Recordkeeping and other issues could arise, however, when George is still listed on the kid's birth certificate as his mother, and his actual mother isn't listed at all!
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Can we find a home for the surprise dogs? Will George's birthday combine with Child#3's birthday well? Will Child#0 come to live with us? Is George irritable because of decreased testosterone? Holiday JOY for the whole freaking family abounds, but we don't get to have our holidays yet.
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Christmas giraffes and flamingoes and dinosaurs are a perfect wrap-up for this bizarre year. George's birthday present made him smile, but he still deals with more irritability than usual as we finish Child#3's birthday celebrations. Did we mention that this is the final section of the discussion we started two weeks ago?
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Between Thanksgiving and Christmas, we have birthdays and other to-do's that are unavoidable. The holiday dinner was nice, and comparatively quiet, but the string of gatherings started to pinch George's introvert sensibilities beyond managing, bringing us back to the questions about the effects of HRT on his emotional restraint.
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As we prepared for Thanksgiving and the rest of the holiday season, we continue to be responsible for other humans with underdeveloped self-care skills. Between a nine-year-old with fecal incontinence and a seventy-year-old with verbal incontinence, we are having a grand old time!
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The election results and the changing dynamic among the bigot class have made the world a scarier place, but life keeps chugging along. George is sick, but that doesn't keep him from being responsible for his elderly relatives, who have new adventures with recurring themes.
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It's okay to like things, to dislike things, to like or dislike people, even to have opinions on things or people. But to paraphrase a recent viral tweet, "Opinions are for things like 'I dislike coffee', not 'I dislike black people'." It is generally frowned frowned upon, and for good reason, to dislike people, for certain traits that have been historically used to justify their disenfranchisement. One would break Wheaton's Law to do so. So when we happen to dislike the company of some transgender persons, for reasons not directly related, but possibly tangentially related, to their trans-ness, how does one avoid dickishness?
To even identify traits related to mental health, education, or childlessness, seems judgemental because of the cultural connotations of these characteristics. George has professional skill in how to distance oneself from judgement regarding these concepts, but Jess can't shake the feeling of being the bigger or more advantaged sibling, pointing a finger at their smaller sibling, obnoxiously in their personal space, almost-but-not-quite-touching, saying "I'm not judging you! I'm not judging you! I'm not judging you!"
The little song Jess sang can be found at youtube.com/watch?v=0la5DBtOVNI.
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Did you meet us at some event? What should I do if my kid is trans? Does Jess have any voice tips for MtF's? Does George have any packing preferences for FtM's? Will we host your client on our podcast? We tried for six questions, but only got to five.
The tutorial video for the homemade STP is at youtube.com/watch?v=TLiaVVihEn4 and we have a longer discussion of George's initial experiences with prosthetics in Ep#66 "Packing, Peeing, and P*nises" at transpantastic.net/2014/06/packing-peeing-and-pnises.html.
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We continue discussing ALL THE THINGS that are kicking George's butt lately, between finding out who ate the cake, and taking the elders to vote, and continuing his game of "which doctor does mom think we're visiting today", he still feels more than a bit overwhelmed. Which has made him more than a bit irritable. And we still haven't settled on why he is more irritable lately, but there's likely some relation to HRT. We are here to share our entire intersectional experience with anyone who finds it beneficial, but we want to know what you connect with the most. You can let us know by clicking to a one-question anonymous survey at vote.pollcode.com/32371374. If you have a request/suggestion that isn't listed, comment!
We can be found online at TransPanTastic.net, you can email us at TransPanTastic@gmail.com, and "TransPanTastic" is searchable on most social networks. We would love to hear from you, so let us know what you think or what you want to hear about!
It is a common experience among those experiencing medical transition, that HRT can reorient one's emotions and expression of them. George has felt overwhelmed lately, and as many trans guys have mentioned many times before, "I can't cry about it." There's nothing particular to cry about, though, just a lot of little busy things that are each, on their own, only somewhat bothersome. When we put them all together, though, ALL THE THINGS become a bit much. We are here to share our entire intersectional experience with anyone who finds it beneficial, but we want to know what you connect with the most. You can let us know by clicking to a one-question anonymous survey at vote.pollcode.com/32371374. If you have a request/suggestion that isn't listed, comment!
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Our thoughts on the US elections, with the usual sidetracks and rabbit trails.
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Why do men and women give Jess different change when they are sent to retrieve Jess' lunch from the taco truck? And why on earth would Jess plagiarize a failing term paper? And did that plagiarism report make Jess more sweary than they've ever been? And can George rename election day "taco tuesday"?
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We are a podcast. Well, technically we host a podcast, which is the thing you're probably listening to right now. Unless you're reading the notes without listening, which is your right if you so choose... But as most podcasters like to also listen to podcasts, we discuss some of our favorites, as well as some new transgender voices in podcasting.
You can hear the Maddow quote we referenced here: http://archive.org/details/MSNBCW_20160525_010000_The_Rachel_Maddow_Show#start/1133/end/1244.6
Other projects we mentioned: Queer & Queerer: zackfordblogs.com/queer-and-queerer Climate Stew: climatestew.com/podcast Citizens Climate Lobby: ccl.podbean.com SciFri: sciencefriday.com Hidden Brain: npr.org/podcasts/510308/hidden-brain Invisibilia: npr.org/podcasts/510307/invisibilia Verity!: veritypodcast.wordpress.com Web of Queer: www.thewebofqueer.com Two Minute Time Lord: twominutetimelord.com Radio Free Skaro: radiofreeskaro.com Nerdist: nerdist.com/podcasts/nerdist-podcast-channel TrekCast: trekcast.com 2Homos: 2homos.com TransPonder: OHMYGDTHERESNOLINKANYMORE!!11!! Minnesota Trans Atheist: thequeerlife.org/category/transatheistpod Changes In Latitudes: changesinlatitudespodcast.blogspot.com Diary of a Trans Woman: inkedgeekstudios.com/diaryofatranswoman Gender Rebels: genderrebels.podbean.com Transgeneral: www.transgeneral.supplies Trans Life Tho: trans-life-tho.tumblr.com You're So Brave: soundcloud.com/youre-so-brave-podcast
Other projects we love but neglected to mention: Transition Transmission: transitiontransmission.com Star Talk: startalkradio.net Queer Theology: queertheology.com/category/podcast/
We are here to share our entire intersectional experience with anyone who finds it beneficial, but we want to know what you connect with the most. You can let us know by clicking to a one-question anonymous survey at vote.pollcode.com/32371374. If you have a request/suggestion that isn't listed, comment!
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Our kids' lives are hard. Admittedly they don't have to deal with a lot of problems that children in poverty or trauma survivors experience, but they have their own unique challenges, and it's our job to help them find the adaptability and resiliency to manage themselves before becoming adults. Occasionally, though, we just feel like our Child#2 when he says "I don't wanna!"
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After decades of living in a female presentation, there are a lot of ways in which George identifies with feminism and feels solidarity with women's causes. We discuss the understanding that many FtMs have of the struggles of female existence, the privilege men have, and the ways in which these causes should be championed in social and political venues.
The Hillary Clinton piece we discussed is at http://www.facebook.com/humansofnewyork/posts/1362452657162164.
The FtM YouTube video we referenced is at http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GQdgSQZATdY.
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As one ages, one generally develops various health problems. George's mother and aunt are both suffering from age-related ailments, which both of them will alternately bemoan or deny. George helps them nonetheless, as he is a total sucker, um, we mean, he is just that good of a person. As they deal with doctors and other medical professionals, how the medics deal with him is very different from the way they deal with the old ladies. How much of that is because of the "old" part, and how much is because of the "ladies" part? George has some male privilege thoughts on that, and on being the random white guy in the convenience store at 2AM.
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The kids are back to school, and we have done what we can to help them be successful in their transition back into a more scheduled routine. Nonetheless, with these kids, there's always a laugh to be had!
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When George was a baby dyke getting catcalled or even occasionally hollering at girls, it was a completely different experience than anything that would ever happen now. There are some behaviours that are really only acceptable in a homosocial context. An interaction between members of similar genders or gender experiences can contain a subtext of common experience, but cross-gender interactions often exist in an expansive context of patriarchy, historical oppression, and cultural expectations that can make otherwise innocuous comments seem inappropriate.
The NPR podcast we referenced can be found here: http://www.npr.org/2016/08/23/491103720/radio-rookies-reformed-catcaller-explores-roots-of-street-harassment.
We are here to share our entire intersectional experience with anyone who finds it beneficial, but we want to know what you connect with the most. You can let us know by clicking to a one-question anonymous survey at vote.pollcode.com/32371374. If you have a request/suggestion that isn't listed, comment! We can be found online at TransPanTastic.net, you can email us at TransPanTastic@gmail.com, and "TransPanTastic" is searchable on most social networks. We would love to hear from you, so let us know what you think or what you want to hear about!
The American government has been occasionally known to do things that are only tangentially related to reality. When "7-12" is not included in "0-12", or when the number of genders finally needs to be greater than two, our careers in public service help the local government figure out some maths.
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When an old (pre-transition) picture of George resurfaces at work, what will his new intern think? Will she even notice? Will she recognize him? And what on earth were his bosses thinking in even bringing it to the intern's attention?!
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As we finish the discussion of our trip to Yosemite, we have a discussion with Jess' aunt, the one who asked which child George birthed, about Child#2's adoption and her own adoption of one of her four kids. Then continuing with our challenging children through a poopy train ride, repeated swim breaks, and George's discomfort over using an STP in the most crowded bathroom in the middle of nowhere with the dick patrol in tow.
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In the first half of our discussion of our family's trip to Yosemite, we discuss George's adaptations to a lower dose of T and how that's affected his emotions as he deals with the stresses of a family vacation. Our children's challenges didn't get left behind, and managing them in places that aren't "home" present a completely unique set of challenges, in addition to the challenges of meeting up with family when wireless coverage is spotty in a national park.
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George recently got a male privilege upgrade. Gender discrepancies in pay and treatment at work are well documented, but transgender folks often have unique insights after experiencing cultural expectations in different gender presentations. We discuss how George's colleagues, including some who have known him for over a decade, treat him differently now. Jess is jealous, but gets to rib him about his moustache, or lack thereof, so life is okay.
The monkey with a moustache that we found looked something like [this], and the human monkeytail moustache looks something like [this].
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Health care and insurance can be troubling. Thankfully we have good coverage, as does George's mom, but that doesn't mean it's always easy to access that coverage, or that they won't get confused when some guy needs to visit the gynecologist. Even better, when George is managing insurance troubles for himself and his mother, he is stuck making calls during the work day so his cubicle-neighbor gets to hear the very specific details about which antidepressant he takes.
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As we did the survey from last week's episode, it made us think about the balance of chores and household labor in our home and how that is different from more typically heteronormative couples. Jess also learned, and was mildly concerned by, the fact that George's happiness dial only has one click above average. George has embraced his inner Eeyore, however, and is more content with his life now, than he has ever been, even with the dick patrol running around.
If you missed it in our social media feeds, the Gender Diverse Parenting Survey is at GenderDiverseParents.com. If you or someone you know is a gender diverse parent, help ensure our experiences are included in this research! We are here to share our entire intersectional experience with anyone who finds it beneficial, but we want to know what you connect with the most. You can let us know by clicking to a one-question anonymous survey at vote.pollcode.com/32371374. If you have a request/suggestion that isn't listed, comment! We can be found online at TransPanTastic.net, you can email us at TransPanTastic@gmail.com, and "TransPanTastic" is searchable on most social networks. We would love to hear from you, so let us know what you think or what you want to hear about!
George never learned how to fish as a kid. Maybe because he didn't like fish, maybe because the elder males didn't want to teach a little girl how, maybe because he was a little kid and didn't like the whole sitting-and-waiting-for-a-bite thing. Either way, taking our kids fishing has been a gender-enlightening experience, as random guys are just cool interacting with another random guy, and as we reflect on how parenting and transition affect one another.
If you missed it in our social media feeds, the Gender Diverse Parenting Survey is at GenderDiverseParents.com. If you or someone you know is a gender diverse parent, help ensure our experiences are included in this research! We are here to share our entire intersectional experience with anyone who finds it beneficial, but we want to know what you connect with the most. You can let us know by clicking to a one-question anonymous survey at vote.pollcode.com/32371374. If you have a request/suggestion that isn't listed, comment! We can be found online at TransPanTastic.net, you can email us at TransPanTastic@gmail.com, and "TransPanTastic" is searchable on most social networks. We would love to hear from you, so let us know what you think or what you want to hear about!
The kids were driving George batty. Child#1 is sneaky, Child#2 is angry, and Child#3 is whiny. Jess gets preachy, Bob-the-dog is smelly, we just need one more dwarf for a full set... Mirror, mirror, on the wall, who's the bothered-est of them all?
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George is mostly-stealth at work. And by mostly-stealth, we mean about half the office remembers his transition, but everyone's fairly insular, so nobody talks much, and new colleagues generally have no clue that he is trans. Gender is, nonetheless, an integral part of one's professional presentation at work, for both of us.
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Only in the trans community do we verb our pronouns... "They 'she'd me!" George has gotten 'she'd at least four times in the past month. But overall, in most settings, George is just a guy. Which is kind of awesome.
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We do our best to be responsible. Lots of people we interact with either never learned how be responsible, forgot how to be responsible, or just choose not to be responsible. We want the world to be a better place, so we do our best to help those we care for, whether it's raising children or supporting elders. But can SuperTransDad save the world and his own sanity?
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The school year is winding down, and the kids are getting antsy to be done with responsibilities. But home still has responsibilities and expectations of civil behaviour and appropriate self-management. Darnit.
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The family and friends we visited during the funeral and surrounding weekend were quite enjoyable company. The folks we left behind, however, insisted on continuing to cause us trouble while we were gone. We back up to last week's story and tie up some loose ends, and continue the tale of the trip to Michigan.
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As we've been discussing preparations for, we finally got to Michigan for the funeral. Regardless of over-planning everything, Murphy's Law takes over when it can. From difficulties with overnight flights and hotels that weren't really ready to be open yet, to all the responsibilities that we tried to leave behind, to Jess' caffeine addiction and driving past the graveyard, nothing can ever be easy... Except maybe Jess' conservative family?
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As we prepare to visit Jess' family, some of whom are rather conservative, we have a discussion about conversational frameworks in which he would prefer Jess discuss or answer questions regarding his transition. He has also felt increased social and physical dysphoria lately, comparing his own physical presence to that of other (presumably cisgender) males.
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We have a funeral to attend halfway across the country, mostly to see Jess' family but also because there's a dead guy. Which means making arrangements for our responsibilities to be managed in our absence. But when Kid#2 just had his meds changed, Jess is staring teacher-transfer season in the face, and our pre-arranged childcare falls through, it's never easy. Ever.
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Spring break happened. Child#2's teachers wanted to schedule a meeting ASAP before it did, and we were mildly concerned that it might be a problem, but it turned out to be mostly mundane. Which is good, because things are rarely, if ever, mundane with this kid. George took him on a vacation to visit family while Jess caught up on school work, and hijinks followed as usual.
(And the song is "Smooth Criminal".)
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Last week we heard the beginning of a really difficult story, about how our friend became a homeless transgender spoonie. This week we discuss her continuing struggles, and how to maintain hope in the midst of a struggle for rights, for support, and often even for survival.
Tasteless and occasionally very adult-oriented coping humour abounds, especially in the outtakes after, so be forewarned, we are horrible people who laugh at horrible things.
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We've mentioned our tall friend a few times over the run of this show. We finally got to sit down and talk with her at a microphone, which we've been trying to schedule for a while. But scheduling is tough when you're homeless, which is often a result of transitioning. Not only is she homeless, she also struggles with chronic pain resulting from a hit-and-run. This week we'll hear the start of her narrative, and you'll have to tune in next week to hear the rest of the homeless transgender spoonie story. Tasteless and occasionally very adult-oriented coping humour abounds, especially in the outtakes after, so be forewarned, we are horrible people who laugh at horrible things.
We are here to share our entire intersectional experience with anyone who finds it beneficial, but we want to know what you connect with the most. You can let us know by clicking to a one-question anonymous survey at vote.pollcode.com/32371374. If you have a request/suggestion that isn't listed, comment! We can be found online at TransPanTastic.net, you can email us at TransPanTastic@gmail.com, and "TransPanTastic" is searchable on most social networks. We would love to hear from you, so let us know what you think or what you want to hear about!
"What should we talk about?"
"I don't know, what haven't we talked about in a while?"
"Religion?"
"Okay."
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You sent in questions, we answered to the microphone. The pitch of our voices, romantic relationships, social interactions, healthcare and insurance, and feminism, all found their way to our brains and your ears this week!
Links from our healthcare/insurance question: http://www.healthcare.gov/transgender-health-care http://www.transequality.org/know-your-rights/healthcare
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We have pictures and documents throughout our house that point to George's transition, if you know what you're looking at. Child#2's new babysitter hasn't said anything yet, so we don't know if she's noticed. Unfortunately, though, the kid's behaviour and emotions have become more of a struggle for him, for his teachers, and for us as parents.
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Male privilege often makes the things George needs to accomplish easier than they were prior to transition, but sometimes the voice of a child or a little old lady will garner more support and sympathy when trying to get them the services they need.
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"We should record about that." This phrase happens in our conversations at least once a week, often more. By the time we find a free hour to sit down with a microphone, the topic has completely escaped our memory... So this time George made a list! From Canadian masculinity compared to American masculinity, to the perpetual "bathroom dilemma" and losing STP enthusiasm, to Jess' "man tact", to dealing with deaths and other awkward social events, gender is inescapable.
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Going to a large-scale social event such as a convention can be a bit apprehension-inducing for queers. But the environment at Gallifrey One was supportive and encouraging, and we had an amazing time. From the pre-con setup time volunteering with a bunch of staff and other volunteers, through meeting other podcasters and tons of other queers, it was an absolutely phenomenal experience.
We referenced the following podcasts: * Web of Queer (amazing queer panel discussions) * Verity! (Women hosts, ran the "In Defense Of" panel we discussed) * Radio Free Skaro (Jess has been listening to these guys for-freaking-ever) * Laughing At Archaeologists (Co-host Riley Silverman moderated that queer panel)
While we don't attempt to be "stealth" about our queerness, we do often avoid connecting this podcast with our personal identities so as to avoid any potential risk to our families or jobs... So if we mentioned you, or if you think you met us, feel free to email or message us, and let us know!
We are here to share our entire intersectional experience with anyone who finds it beneficial, but we want to know what you connect with the most. You can let us know by clicking to a one-question anonymous survey at vote.pollcode.com/32371374. If you have a request/suggestion that isn't listed, comment!
We can be found online at TransPanTastic.net, you can email us at TransPanTastic@gmail.com, and "TransPanTastic" is searchable on most social networks. We would love to hear from you, so let us know what you think or what you want to hear about!
We had the amazing opportunity to attend the Doctor Who convention Gallifrey One. Whether you're a fan or not, the information that the casting director is committed to diversity in casting is a great thing to hear. (See more about a diversity-in-entertainment organization he works with at act-for-change.com.) We discussed our thoughts on media representation, and want to hear your input. Was there a character you identified with when you were discovering yourself? If there was, what did seeing someone "like me" mean to you? If there weren't any, what would it have meant? What effect might it have in your world to see more diversity of gender and orientation in an upcoming Doctor Who spin-off show for young adults, titled "Class"? Tell us with the hashtag #QueerInCLASS and let's have a conversation about diversity in entertainment, Whovian or otherwise.
Details about our actual experiences at the convention coming next week!
We are here to share our entire intersectional experience with anyone who finds it beneficial, but we want to know what you connect with the most. You can let us know by clicking to a one-question anonymous survey at vote.pollcode.com/32371374. If you have a request/suggestion that isn't listed, comment!
We can be found online at TransPanTastic.net, you can email us at TransPanTastic@gmail.com, and "TransPanTastic" is searchable on most social networks. We would love to hear from you, so let us know what you think or what you want to hear about!
Children with developmental challenges aren't the only ones challenged by their unique ways of human-ing. Our Child#2 has had more difficulty controlling his behavior, as we started to discuss last week. However, it didn't end there, and now that his temper has caused other children injury, we start to look for more supportive environment for his after-school care. Which will likely mean hiring a sitter. Which means bringing strange people into our home. Additionally, while all the other stressors are starting to wind down, we are (at recording time) preparing for a temporary escape. At the time of publishing, we've recorded one of two episodes about our experiences at Gallifrey One, which you may have seen referenced on our social media. Whether you're a whovian or are just curious about the experience of being queer at a convention or other large non-queer-centric social gathering, that will be coming over the next two weeks. We are here to share our entire intersectional experience with anyone who finds it beneficial, but we want to know what you connect with the most. You can let us know by clicking to a one-question anonymous survey at vote.pollcode.com/32371374. If you have a request/suggestion that isn't listed, comment! We can be found online at TransPanTastic.net, you can email us at TransPanTastic@gmail.com, and "TransPanTastic" is searchable on most social networks. We would love to hear from you, so let us know what you think or what you want to hear about!
When George's slightly senile aunt drives across country, when his mother needs her dentures repaired, her welfare application completed, and her health insurance reviewed, when Child#2 gets suspended from the kids' club one day and his school the next, when a family friend dies, and when the dog wakes us up at ungodly hours because he's also slightly senile, there's no shortage of stress to be had. Problems have solutions, and no situation is ever hopeless, but does all this stress really have to happen in just one week? We are here to share our entire intersectional experience with anyone who finds it beneficial, but we want to know what you connect with the most. You can let us know by clicking to a one-question anonymous survey at vote.pollcode.com/32371374. If you have a request/suggestion that isn't listed, comment! We can be found online at TransPanTastic.net, you can email us at TransPanTastic@gmail.com, and "TransPanTastic" is searchable on most social networks. We would love to hear from you, so let us know what you think or what you want to hear about!
Our entire discussion on male privilege, as originally published in three parts.
0:00:23 - 0:32:35TPT#150 - Small Dick Jokes (Masculinity and Privilege, Part 1) We got guests again! Our Jesus Friend from Ep#111-112 and our Lawyer Friend from Ep#128-129 sat down with us to discuss male privilege. In the first of three episodes, we start with some definitions and a little intersectionality, how male privilege is enhanced by being tall or straight or white or masculine, and how privilege can be used to benefit others who lack the benefits that three of us have as perceived "straight white guys". Men aren't as heavily policed with regards to their appearance or social habits, and are given the benefit of the doubt much more often than women with regards to professional competency. We referenced a couple articles by author James St. James: The first is at everydayfeminism.com/2015/05/male-privilege-trans-men/ and a follow-up is at everydayfeminism.com/2015/06/more-male-privilege-trans-man/.
0:32:30 - 1:03:45TPT#151 - Shaping Undergarments (Masculinity and Privilege, Part 2) Western culture has certain expectations of individuals based on their gender. These can cause benefit to those who naturally fit them, and detriment to those who naturally eschew them, but how do these expectations shape our overall experience in binary society? A woman's face and body are subconsciously considered by many to be "public property" to be commented upon or directed to behave in "ladylike" ways, even by complete strangers. Men are naturally assumed to have competence in their chosen endeavours, and when they prove themselves incapable of achieving their goal then other men will often "coach" them to succeed. The cumulative effect of these and many other similar differences are what we mean when we say "Male Privilege".
1:03:40 - 1:36:33TPT#152 - Just Because I Had A Dick (Masculinity and Privilege, Part 3) Men are often allowed more assertiveness in social interactions, expected to behave more aggressively in competitive situations, and allowed more ownership of their self-presentation. These longstanding holdovers from centuries of patriarchy continue to affect our lives today, as exhibited in the experiences of individuals who transition. When one transitions, however, is it possible to forget what one used to have, what life had previously been like, and what privilege one has gained or lost? Does privilege become assimilated as one becomes more accustomed to one's new place in society? And why the hell do guys tell guys stuff they wouldn't tell girls, even when the information is inherently ungendered? The episodes we referenced regarding George's transition at work and the difficulties his bosses had with it are #28 "Work Woes", #29 "Work Fix?", and #30 "Back to Work".
We are here to share our entire intersectional experience with anyone who finds it beneficial, but we want to know what you connect with the most. You can let us know by clicking to a one-question anonymous survey at vote.pollcode.com/32371374. If you have a request/suggestion that isn't listed, comment! We can be found online at TransPanTastic.net, you can email us at TransPanTastic@gmail.com, and "TransPanTastic" is searchable on most social networks. We would love to hear from you, so let us know what you think or what you want to hear about!
Men are often allowed more assertiveness in social interactions, expected to behave more aggressively in competitive situations, and allowed more ownership of their self-presentation. These longstanding holdovers from centuries of patriarchy continue to affect our lives today, as exhibited in the experiences of individuals who transition. When one transitions, however, is it possible to forget what one used to have, what life had previously been like, and what privilege one has gained or lost? Does privilege become assimilated as one becomes more accustomed to one's new place in society? And why the hell do guys tell guys stuff they wouldn't tell girls, even when the information is inherently ungendered? The episodes we referenced regarding George's transition at work and the difficulties his bosses had with it are #28 "Work Woes", #29 "Work Fix?", and #30 "Back to Work". We are here to share our entire intersectional experience with anyone who finds it beneficial, but we want to know what you connect with the most. You can let us know by clicking to a one-question anonymous survey at vote.pollcode.com/32371374. If you have a request/suggestion that isn't listed, comment! We can be found online at TransPanTastic.net, you can email us at TransPanTastic@gmail.com, and "TransPanTastic" is searchable on most social networks. We would love to hear from you, so let us know what you think or what you want to hear about!
Western culture has certain expectations of individuals based on their gender. These can cause benefit to those who naturally fit them, and detriment to those who naturally eschew them, but how do these expectations shape our overall experience in binary society? A woman's face and body are subconsciously considered by many to be "public property" to be commented upon or directed to behave in "ladylike" ways, even by complete strangers. Men are naturally assumed to have competence in their chosen endeavours, and when they prove themselves incapable of achieving their goal then other men will often "coach" them to succeed. The cumulative effect of these and many other similar differences are what we mean when we say "Male Privilege". We are here to share our entire intersectional experience with anyone who finds it beneficial, but we want to know what you connect with the most. You can let us know by clicking to a one-question anonymous survey at vote.pollcode.com/32371374. If you have a request/suggestion that isn't listed, comment! We can be found online at TransPanTastic.net, you can email us at TransPanTastic@gmail.com, and "TransPanTastic" is searchable on most social networks. We would love to hear from you, so let us know what you think or what you want to hear about!
We got guests again! Our Jesus Friend from Ep#111-112 and our Lawyer Friend from Ep#128-129 sat down with us to discuss male privilege. In the first of three episodes, we start with some definitions and a little intersectionality, how male privilege is enhanced by being tall or straight or white or masculine, and how privilege can be used to benefit others who lack the benefits that three of us have as perceived "straight white guys". Men aren't as heavily policed with regards to their appearance or social habits, and are given the benefit of the doubt much more often than women with regards to professional competency. We referenced a couple articles by author James St. James: The first is at everydayfeminism.com/2015/05/male-privilege-trans-men/ and a follow-up is at everydayfeminism.com/2015/06/more-male-privilege-trans-man/. We are here to share our entire intersectional experience with anyone who finds it beneficial, but we want to know what you connect with the most. You can let us know by clicking to a one-question anonymous survey at vote.pollcode.com/32371374. If you have a request/suggestion that isn't listed, comment! We can be found online at TransPanTastic.net, you can email us at TransPanTastic@gmail.com, and "TransPanTastic" is searchable on most social networks. We would love to hear from you, so let us know what you think or what you want to hear about!
As HRT has done it's work on George's body, it has changed his libido and the way he handles physical intimacy. Some of these changes are physical and others are mental, but the experience as a whole has been one heck of a ride for both of us, regardless of who's being ridden... We are here to share our entire intersectional experience with anyone who finds it beneficial, but we want to know what you connect with the most. You can let us know by clicking to a one-question anonymous survey at vote.pollcode.com/32371374. If you have a request/suggestion that isn't listed, comment! We can be found online at TransPanTastic.net, you can email us at TransPanTastic@gmail.com, and "TransPanTastic" is searchable on most social networks. We would love to hear from you, so let us know what you think or what you want to hear about!
Why do some people "make such a big deal" of gender? When is it okay to make gender a "big deal"? When ought it be just another mundane aspect of our existence? We discuss our relevant experiences and opinions. We are here to share our entire intersectional experience with anyone who finds it beneficial, but we want to know what you connect with the most. You can let us know by clicking to a one-question anonymous survey at vote.pollcode.com/32371374. If you have a request/suggestion that isn't listed, comment! We can be found online at TransPanTastic.net, you can email us at TransPanTastic@gmail.com, and "TransPanTastic" is searchable on most social networks. We would love to hear from you, so let us know what you think or what you want to hear about!
We finally got around to Christmas, and the school break that surrounds it... Parenting hijinks ensue. Such is the "life around transition", but don't worry, transition is still happening and will be featured again soon. We are here to share our entire intersectional experience with anyone who finds it beneficial, but we want to know what you connect with the most. You can let us know by clicking to a one-question anonymous survey at vote.pollcode.com/32371374. If you have a request/suggestion that isn't listed, comment! We can be found online at TransPanTastic.net, you can email us at TransPanTastic@gmail.com, and "TransPanTastic" is searchable on most social networks. We would love to hear from you, so let us know what you think or what you want to hear about!
Our Christmas preparations are underway, with all the people we care for in tow. From George's mom's house to Child#2 & Child#3's school, our world is a winter wonderland of holiday cheer. And by cheer we mean insanity. We are here to share our entire intersectional experience with anyone who finds it beneficial, but we want to know what you connect with the most. You can let us know by clicking to a one-question anonymous survey at vote.pollcode.com/32371374. If you have a request/suggestion that isn't listed, comment! We can be found online at TransPanTastic.net, you can email us at TransPanTastic@gmail.com, and "TransPanTastic" is searchable on most social networks. We would love to hear from you, so let us know what you think or what you want to hear about!
George finally got around to calling the gynecologist, and the experience was much more pleasant than some of the horror stories we've heard. Even with an open-minded physician and a very professional office staff, he's still the guy at the gyno, which still feels a tad awkward... We are here to share our entire intersectional experience with anyone who finds it beneficial, but we want to know what you connect with the most. You can let us know by clicking to a one-question anonymous survey at vote.pollcode.com/32371374. If you have a request/suggestion that isn't listed, comment! We can be found online at TransPanTastic.net, you can email us at TransPanTastic@gmail.com, and "TransPanTastic" is searchable on most social networks. We would love to hear from you, so let us know what you think or what you want to hear about!
The holidays have begun. They kind of began back in October with Halloween and Child#1's birthday, and the entire end-of-the-year always becomes a hectic shuffle from one event to another. Throw another happy event in on top of it (you'll have to listen to find out what) and we just don't get any rest. But our house is bright and rainbow-tastic, our family is warm and well-fed, and we have each other, so life is good. We're still looking for submissions for our happy-holidays episode. Record yourself saying anything from a sentence or two, up to ten minutes of story, with a happy, amusing, or poignant ending that will encourage the rest of us who need to hear something happy this time of year. Send your audio file (or a link to it on a cloud drive, if it's too big to attach) to TPTsubmit@gmail.com by 17 Dec, and we'll compile them into the 19 Dec episode #145. We are here to share our entire intersectional experience with anyone who finds it beneficial, but we want to know what you connect with the most. You can let us know by clicking to a one-question anonymous survey at vote.pollcode.com/32371374. If you have a request/suggestion that isn't listed, comment! We can be found online at TransPanTastic.net, you can email us at TransPanTastic@gmail.com, and "TransPanTastic" is searchable on most social networks. We would love to hear from you, so let us know what you think or what you want to hear about!
There are actually people, functional human beings, who have never, ever, not even once, considered that their body might not fit them, that their brain might not match their body, that their gender might be something different than assigned. They just go about their lives with complete integration of their sociocultural place, their body, and their sense of self. That's kinda crazy. We're still looking for submissions for our happy-holidays episode. Record yourself saying anything from a sentence or two, up to ten minutes of story, with a happy, amusing, or poignant ending that will encourage the rest of us who need to hear something happy this time of year. Send your audio file (or a link to it on a cloud drive, if it's too big to attach) to TPTsubmit@gmail.com by 17 Dec, and we'll compile them into the 19 Dec episode #145. We are here to share our entire intersectional experience with anyone who finds it beneficial, but we want to know what you connect with the most. You can let us know by clicking to a one-question anonymous survey at vote.pollcode.com/32371374. If you have a request/suggestion that isn't listed, comment! We can be found online at TransPanTastic.net, you can email us at TransPanTastic@gmail.com, and "TransPanTastic" is searchable on most social networks. We would love to hear from you, so let us know what you think or what you want to hear about!
Holidays can be hard. But you can help someone who's struggling with depression, frustration, alienation, or all those other unhappy things that happen too often this time of year. Tell us your happy stories of "life around transition", and we'll compile them into an uplifting episode. While we won't "ban" transition or coming-out stories, remember that for many who are still struggling to achieve their gendery goals, they may find frustration in hearing someone else gushing over achieving what they can't, so our suggestion is "life around transition", like many of our own stories are. Record yourself saying anything from a sentence or two, up to ten minutes of story, with a happy, amusing, or poignant ending that will encourage the rest of us who need to hear something happy this time of year. Send your audio file (or a link to it on a cloud drive, if it's too big to attach) to TPTsubmit@gmail.com by 17 Dec, and we'll compile them into the 19 Dec episode #145. We are here to share our entire intersectional experience with anyone who finds it beneficial, but we want to know what you connect with the most. You can let us know by clicking to a one-question anonymous survey at vote.pollcode.com/32371374. If you have a request/suggestion that isn't listed, comment! We can be found online at TransPanTastic.net, you can email us at TransPanTastic@gmail.com, and "TransPanTastic" is searchable on most social networks. We would love to hear from you, so let us know what you think or what you want to hear about!
Sometimes our kids frustrate us, other times they make us proud. This week we finally catch up with them, but parenting while sick is no fun. George still doesn't feel much better from last week's episode, and so needed to go back to the doctor. We are here to share our entire intersectional experience with anyone who finds it beneficial, but we want to know what you connect with the most. You can let us know by clicking to a one-question anonymous survey at vote.pollcode.com/32371374. If you have a request/suggestion that isn't listed, comment! We can be found online at TransPanTastic.net, you can email us at TransPanTastic@gmail.com, and "TransPanTastic" is searchable on most social networks. We would love to hear from you, so let us know what you think or what you want to hear about!
When one of your best friends gets married, but plans it last-minute, and life doesn't let you go, you do the second-best thing: take a vacation to Minnesota in the cold! It's a good thing we got a break, because when we got back, George got sick and our kids' other parents couldn't take their visitation. Transgender fun at the airport and the hospital? Just another week in the life! We are here to share our entire intersectional experience with anyone who finds it beneficial, but we want to know what you connect with the most. You can let us know by clicking to a one-question anonymous survey at vote.pollcode.com/32371374. If you have a request/suggestion that isn't listed, comment! We can be found online at TransPanTastic.net, you can email us at TransPanTastic@gmail.com, and "TransPanTastic" is searchable on most social networks. We would love to hear from you, so let us know what you think or what you want to hear about!
Mansplaining, manspreading, manterrupting, all those tongue-in-cheek terms for stereotypically masculine habits take on a new meaning when one has transitioned to male. Having been the victim of them for decades, we both take a queer look at the way man-ness affects the way others perceive our presence and presentation. We are here to share our entire intersectional experience with anyone who finds it beneficial, but we want to know what you connect with the most. You can let us know by clicking to a one-question anonymous survey at vote.pollcode.com/32371374. If you have a request/suggestion that isn't listed, comment! We can be found online at TransPanTastic.net, you can email us at TransPanTastic@gmail.com, and "TransPanTastic" is searchable on most social networks. We would love to hear from you, so let us know what you think or what you want to hear about!
Why does it always have to be Friday? This time around, work stress got George to a place where he wasn't able to keep dysphoria from getting to him. The oddities didn't stop, though, the bizarreness of Friday didn't end with Friday. The amazing music video we referenced is Ingrid Michaelson's "Girls Chase Boys", at http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5GBT37_yyzY.
We are here to share our entire intersectional experience with anyone who finds it beneficial, but we want to know what you connect with the most. You can let us know by clicking to a one-question anonymous survey at vote.pollcode.com/32371374. If you have a request/suggestion that isn't listed, comment! We can be found online at TransPanTastic.net, you can email us at TransPanTastic@gmail.com, and "TransPanTastic" is searchable on most social networks. We would love to hear from you, so let us know what you think or what you want to hear about!
George got his blood tests back and the results are potentially concerning. While we manage that, he also had another revision to his top surgery. We are here to share our entire intersectional experience with anyone who finds it beneficial, but we want to know what you connect with the most. You can let us know by clicking to a one-question anonymous survey at vote.pollcode.com/32371374. If you have a request/suggestion that isn't listed, comment! We can be found online at TransPanTastic.net, you can email us at TransPanTastic@gmail.com, and "TransPanTastic" is searchable on most social networks. We would love to hear from you, so let us know what you think or what you want to hear about!
As we continue to settle into our new house, we needed to call our handyman for some help. Our handyman who hasn't seen George since before he started transition. But he's an old hippie, fairly open-minded, a pretty cool guy... how awkward could it get? We are here to share our entire intersectional experience with anyone who finds it beneficial, but we want to know what you connect with the most. You can let us know by clicking to a one-question anonymous survey at vote.pollcode.com/32371374. If you have a request/suggestion that isn't listed, comment! We can be found online at TransPanTastic.net, you can email us at TransPanTastic@gmail.com, and "TransPanTastic" is searchable on most social networks. We would love to hear from you, so let us know what you think or what you want to hear about!
After over two years on testosterone, George's second puberty is well underway, but have his hormones started causing him trouble? While we wait for his blood work to come back, we discuss how Jess' hormones have also caused her trouble, and especially recently. We round out our conversation of hormone stuffs with the thought of both of us preparing for our respective visits to the gynecologist. We are here to share our entire intersectional experience with anyone who finds it beneficial, but we want to know what you connect with the most. You can let us know by clicking to a one-question anonymous survey at vote.pollcode.com/32371374. If you have a request/suggestion that isn't listed, comment! We can be found online at TransPanTastic.net, you can email us at TransPanTastic@gmail.com, and "TransPanTastic" is searchable on most social networks. We would love to hear from you, so let us know what you think or what you want to hear about!
Chair (n): A piece of furniture designed for supporting the human bodyFan (n): An appliance that pushes air around.Transgender (adj): A person whose assigned/biological sex and psychological gender are not in congruence. You can sit on one of these things. Sometimes two, but we're not that kind of podcast. George thinks in pictures and concepts, Jess thinks in words and sounds. Sometimes this creates a struggle to communicate, but generally we work it out. Words are important to the transgender community, and with good reason. Words can create or destroy, can harm or heal. But Ivan Coyote said, "really, these are all just words, and words are always imperfect, and words are just sounds we make with our mouths that point our minds to think of things that cannot be fully described in words anyway." Words are important, but this time Jess has gone just a little word-ranty. We are here to share our entire intersectional experience with anyone who finds it beneficial, but we want to know what you connect with the most. You can let us know by clicking to a one-question anonymous survey at vote.pollcode.com/32371374. If you have a request/suggestion that isn't listed, comment! We can be found online at TransPanTastic.net, you can email us at TransPanTastic@gmail.com, and "TransPanTastic" is searchable on most social networks. We would love to hear from you, so let us know what you think or what you want to hear about!
Kids are back to school, and they're making life-around-transition interesting. But that's kind of the usual around here. Jess is back to school also, so as we manage these changes along with finishing the move (see last week's episode), life-around-transition has experienced some gender-y things, and some parent-y things, and even some gendery-parenty things. We are here to share our entire intersectional experience with anyone who finds it beneficial, but we want to know what you connect with the most. You can let us know by clicking to a one-question anonymous survey at vote.pollcode.com/32371374. If you have a request/suggestion that isn't listed, comment! We can be found online at TransPanTastic.net, you can email us at TransPanTastic@gmail.com, and "TransPanTastic" is searchable on most social networks. We would love to hear from you, so let us know what you think or what you want to hear about!
We moved. George was able to accomplish more things, more easily, as a man, than he ever could pre-transition. Jess is mildly jealous. But he did lots of the moving-stuffs while she was working or doing homeworks so we're even. We are here to share our entire intersectional experience with anyone who finds it beneficial, but we want to know what you connect with the most. You can let us know by clicking to a one-question anonymous survey at vote.pollcode.com/32371374. If you have a request/suggestion that isn't listed, comment! We can be found online at TransPanTastic.net, you can email us at TransPanTastic@gmail.com, and "TransPanTastic" is searchable on most social networks. We would love to hear from you, so let us know what you think or what you want to hear about!
For our fourth round of QnA, we have four questions ranging from parenting an autistic teenager to genderqueer dysphoria, and from coming out to our heroes or idols. Actually, not really "from" or "to" those things, nothing between them, kinda just those four things. Send your questions or feedback below! TransPanTastic.tumblr.com facebook.com/TransPanTastic twitter.com/TransPanTastic http://plus.google.com/105889546185411151497/ We are here to share our entire intersectional experience with anyone who finds it beneficial, but we want to know what you connect with the most. You can let us know by clicking to a one-question anonymous survey at vote.pollcode.com/32371374. If you have a request/suggestion that isn't listed, comment! We can be found online at TransPanTastic.net, you can email us at TransPanTastic@gmail.com, and "TransPanTastic" is searchable on most social networks. We would love to hear from you, so let us know what you think or what you want to hear about!
We've long known that Child#2 is our "most special" of our special needs children, but we do our best to help him achieve and enjoy life as much as possible. That often involves some extra resources and effort, in this case to give him a vacation to visit his cousins. As usual, hijinks ensue. We are here to share our entire intersectional experience with anyone who finds it beneficial, but we want to know what you connect with the most. You can let us know by clicking to a one-question anonymous survey at vote.pollcode.com/32371374. If you have a request/suggestion that isn't listed, comment! We can be found online at TransPanTastic.net, you can email us at TransPanTastic@gmail.com, and "TransPanTastic" is searchable on most social networks. We would love to hear from you, so let us know what you think or what you want to hear about!
Our lawyer friend had a metoidioplasty some months back. So of course, we pestered him to come talk to us about it, so all of you, our friends, could listen. Tangent topics include overeating, sex, and peeing on oneself. Contains mildly graphic discussion of complications and their treatment, specifically a fistula and a stricture. We are here to share our entire intersectional experience with anyone who finds it beneficial, but we want to know what you connect with the most. You can let us know by clicking to a one-question anonymous survey at vote.pollcode.com/32371374. If you have a request/suggestion that isn't listed, comment! We can be found online at TransPanTastic.net, you can email us at TransPanTastic@gmail.com, and "TransPanTastic" is searchable on most social networks. We would love to hear from you, so let us know what you think or what you want to hear about!
Our lawyer friend had a metoidioplasty some months back. So of course, we pestered him to come talk to us about it, so all of you, our friends, could listen. Tangent topics include the absurdity of female clothing, the difficulty of finding male clothing for guys like us, his coming-out story, government employment, and STPs. The episode we reference, in which George discusses his experiences with his gynecologist, is Episode #2, "Gyno Says What", which is at transpantastic.net/2013/03/gyno-says-what_16.html. We are here to share our entire intersectional experience with anyone who finds it beneficial, but we want to know what you connect with the most. You can let us know by clicking to a one-question anonymous survey at vote.pollcode.com/32371374. If you have a request/suggestion that isn't listed, comment! We can be found online at TransPanTastic.net, you can email us at TransPanTastic@gmail.com, and "TransPanTastic" is searchable on most social networks. We would love to hear from you, so let us know what you think or what you want to hear about!
After two years of medical transition, George is regularly perceived as the man he is. This has caused Jess to be perceived more as a woman in his presence. Others' perceptions of us have recently highlighted just how gendered our culture is, and how the expectations of our perceived genders affect our comfort or discomfort with social interactions. We are here to share our entire intersectional experience with anyone who finds it beneficial, but we want to know what you connect with the most. You can let us know by clicking to a one-question anonymous survey at vote.pollcode.com/32371374. If you have a request/suggestion that isn't listed, comment! We can be found online at TransPanTastic.net, you can email us at TransPanTastic@gmail.com, and "TransPanTastic" is searchable on most social networks. We would love to hear from you, so let us know what you think or what you want to hear about!
Finishing the story of a weekend of Cub Scouts sleep-away camp. Sorry, still no hummingbird story. We are here to share our entire intersectional experience with anyone who finds it beneficial, but we want to know what you connect with the most. You can let us know by clicking to a one-question anonymous survey at vote.pollcode.com/32371374. If you have a request/suggestion that isn't listed, comment! We can be found online at TransPanTastic.net, you can email us at TransPanTastic@gmail.com, and "TransPanTastic" is searchable on most social networks. We would love to hear from you, so let us know what you think or what you want to hear about!
Part one of our recap of George's and Child#2's time at Cub Scout camp. Will TransDad George survive interacting with the traditionally homophobic/transphobic boy scouts? Will Child#2 learn how to wipe his own rear end? Will George be able to manage the Dick Patrol while sharing a tent? Will we get back to the hummingbird story? Tune in next week to find out!! We are here to share our entire intersectional experience with anyone who finds it beneficial, but we want to know what you connect with the most. You can let us know by clicking to a one-question anonymous survey at vote.pollcode.com/32371374. If you have a request/suggestion that isn't listed, comment! We can be found online at TransPanTastic.net, you can email us at TransPanTastic@gmail.com, and "TransPanTastic" is searchable on most social networks. We would love to hear from you, so let us know what you think or what you want to hear about!
For genderqueer individuals like Jess, the "typical trans narrative" often doesn't fit, and neither do the "standard" understandings of terminology and experience regarding their transgender experience. Transition can be more complicated when one is going in neither of the expected binary directions, and a medical understanding of life outside the binary is generally pathologized. As a non-binary person, Jess has chosen not to transition, but does that mean she's "less trans"? At 30:50 we reference Episode #34: "That Gender Stuff", which can be found at transpantastic.net/2013/11/that-gender-stuff.html. We are here to share our entire intersectional experience with anyone who finds it beneficial, but we want to know what you connect with the most. You can let us know by clicking to a one-question anonymous survey at vote.pollcode.com/32371374. If you have a request/suggestion that isn't listed, comment! We can be found online at TransPanTastic.net, you can email us at TransPanTastic@gmail.com, and "TransPanTastic" is searchable on most social networks. We would love to hear from you, so let us know what you think or what you want to hear about!
We've done what we can to help Child#2 adapt to his differences of development and manage his challenging behaviours for some while now. Since last year, that has included George taking him to Cub Scouts to (hopefully) engage some positive social skills. Between the history of the Boy Scouts and our child's unique challenges, we've done our best to keep the difficulties of being the TransDad to the 8-going-on-4-year-old to a minimum, but we can't avoid them all! We are here to share our entire intersectional experience with anyone who finds it beneficial, but we want to know what you connect with the most. You can let us know by clicking to a one-question anonymous survey at vote.pollcode.com/32371374. If you have a request/suggestion that isn't listed, comment! We can be found online at TransPanTastic.net, you can email us at TransPanTastic@gmail.com, and "TransPanTastic" is searchable on most social networks. We would love to hear from you, so let us know what you think or what you want to hear about!
When George was young, he never thought he'd get married. Now that marriage equality is a (mostly) settled issue, we reflect on its impact (or lack thereof) on our lives as a hetero-gendered couple. The times, they are a-changin'. We are here to share our entire intersectional experience with anyone who finds it beneficial, but we want to know what you connect with the most. You can let us know by clicking to a one-question anonymous survey at vote.pollcode.com/32371374. If you have a request/suggestion that isn't listed, comment! We can be found online at TransPanTastic.net, you can email us at TransPanTastic@gmail.com, and "TransPanTastic" is searchable on most social networks. We would love to hear from you, so let us know what you think or what you want to hear about!
George's transition has resulted in numerous changes to his body. Many of these have been clearly beneficial in more closely aligning his body to match his gender identity, and in assisting others to correctly perceive him as his identified gender. Some of these changes, however, have been less than convenient. From excess sweat and intolerance for higher temperatures, to changes in the functioning of his cardiovascular and digestive systems, to a decreased ability to swim, some adaptation has been needed to meet recent challenges related to HRT. We are here to share our entire intersectional experience with anyone who finds it beneficial, but we want to know what you connect with the most. You can let us know by clicking to a one-question anonymous survey at vote.pollcode.com/32371374. If you have a request/suggestion that isn't listed, comment! We can be found online at TransPanTastic.net, you can email us at TransPanTastic@gmail.com, and "TransPanTastic" is searchable on most social networks. We would love to hear from you, so let us know what you think or what you want to hear about!
Queer spaces often have their own set of unwritten rules, expectations, or social norms that are based on a collective experience of being perpetually on guard for one's own safety and peace of mind. Lately we spend less time in queer spaces than we'd like, but we've recently had some refreshing experiences with "folks like us". Ivan Coyote discussed their experience with the bathroom dilemma at dailyxtra.com/vancouver/dear-lady-in-the-womens-washroom-4771 some years back, and someone snagged a video of them reading it at youtube.com/watch?v=eo6MeDSCBVM. Last year, as part of their Gender Failure project with the equally awesome Rae Spoon, they followed up with a piece which can be read at slate.com/blogs/outward/2014/04/11/transgender_in_public_bathrooms_why_does_our_safety_always_come_second.html.
We are here to share our entire intersectional experience with anyone who finds it beneficial, but we want to know what you connect with the most. You can let us know by clicking to a one-question anonymous survey at vote.pollcode.com/32371374. If you have a request/suggestion that isn't listed, comment! We can be found online at TransPanTastic.net, you can email us at TransPanTastic@gmail.com, and "TransPanTastic" is searchable on most social networks. We would love to hear from you, so let us know what you think or what you want to hear about!
We got to see the beautiful and eloquent Laverne Cox speak, and it was amazing. She spoke on not just her experience as a transgender person, but as a woman, as a person of color, and as a human living all of these experiences at once. Intersectionality abounds as we reflect on what she said and how it touched us. We are here to share our entire intersectional experience with anyone who finds it beneficial, but we want to know what you connect with the most. You can let us know by clicking to a one-question anonymous survey at vote.pollcode.com/32371374. If you have a request/suggestion that isn't listed, comment! We can be found online at TransPanTastic.net, you can email us at TransPanTastic@gmail.com, and "TransPanTastic" is searchable on most social networks. We would love to hear from you, so let us know what you think or what you want to hear about!
The madness never ends, and while George occasionally plans to make time for self-care it doesn't always work out as planned. Between naughty children and ailing pets and elderly parents, other peoples' problems keep encroaching on his free-time fridays. We are here to share our entire intersectional experience with anyone who finds it beneficial, but we want to know what you connect with the most. You can let us know by clicking to a one-question anonymous survey at vote.pollcode.com/32371374. If you have a request/suggestion that isn't listed, comment! We can be found online at TransPanTastic.net, you can email us at TransPanTastic@gmail.com, and "TransPanTastic" is searchable on most social networks. We would love to hear from you, so let us know what you think or what you want to hear about!
Government employment has its ups and downs. We discuss our experiences working in the public sector, the fun situations we find ourselves in with colleagues, and Jess' elementary-school closet. No, not the closet she was in as an elementary student, but the one she finds herself in as an elementary teacher. But now that school is out, transfer time is in, and she's hoping for another chance at moving into middle or high school. We are here to share our entire intersectional experience with anyone who finds it beneficial, but we want to know what you connect with the most. You can let us know by clicking to a one-question anonymous survey at vote.pollcode.com/32371374. If you have a request/suggestion that isn't listed, comment! We can be found online at TransPanTastic.net, you can email us at TransPanTastic@gmail.com, and "TransPanTastic" is searchable on most social networks. We would love to hear from you, so let us know what you think or what you want to hear about!
Jess thinks in words, George thinks in pictures. That sometimes makes it difficult to communicate when the words are needed to share the pictures and ideas in his head. As George's body continues to change, and his place in our world continues to settle into the "man camp", he considers how and when to best express the unique viewpoint that his experiences with HRT, with the changes testosterone has brought, with masculinity and femininity, and with emigrating from the "woman camp" have provided. We are here to share our entire intersectional experience with anyone who finds it beneficial, but we want to know what you connect with the most. You can let us know by clicking to a one-question anonymous survey at vote.pollcode.com/32371374. If you have a request/suggestion that isn't listed, comment! We can be found online at TransPanTastic.net, you can email us at TransPanTastic@gmail.com, and "TransPanTastic" is searchable on most social networks. We would love to hear from you, so let us know what you think or what you want to hear about!
Parenting is hard. There's no tutorial level, and difficulty settings are subject to change at random. One minute your kid is your trusty sidekick with tons of charisma points, and the next they're on a boss-fight level tantrum. One of ours is particularly difficult, by no fault of his own, and so we have started to hunt down a strategy guide or walkthrough. We are here to share our entire intersectional experience with anyone who finds it beneficial, but we want to know what you connect with the most. You can let us know by clicking to a one-question anonymous survey at vote.pollcode.com/32371374. If you have a request/suggestion that isn't listed, comment! We can be found online at TransPanTastic.net, you can email us at TransPanTastic@gmail.com, and "TransPanTastic" is searchable on most social networks. We would love to hear from you, so let us know what you think or what you want to hear about!
Jess and George are fairly rational people. We prefer to use our brains whenever possible, but we are sharing our lives with other people who have clear limits to their sense of reason. Whether it's George's mom, entitled-genius Child#3, developmentally-delayed Child#2, or autistic-teenager Child#1, we often have to be the logical ones on behalf of those in our care. We are here to share our entire intersectional experience with anyone who finds it beneficial, but we want to know what you connect with the most. You can let us know by clicking to a one-question anonymous survey at vote.pollcode.com/32371374. If you have a request/suggestion that isn't listed, comment! We can be found online at TransPanTastic.net, you can email us at TransPanTastic@gmail.com, and "TransPanTastic" is searchable on most social networks. We would love to hear from you, so let us know what you think or what you want to hear about!
George's body has changed a lot over two years on testosterone. In this "extra" episode, we detailed some specific measurements and how T has affected them. We pulled this content from the main "second man-iversary" episode because it only interests a segment of our listeners, so we didn't want to bore the majority of you, but we wanted to have this information available for those who find it interesting or pertinent to their own experience. We are here to share our entire intersectional experience with anyone who finds it beneficial, but we want to know what you connect with the most. You can let us know by clicking to a one-question anonymous survey at vote.pollcode.com/32371374. If you have a request/suggestion that isn't listed, comment! We can be found online at TransPanTastic.net, you can email us at TransPanTastic@gmail.com, and "TransPanTastic" is searchable on most social networks. We would love to hear from you, so let us know what you think or what you want to hear about!
At George's second anniversary of HRT, we review how the past two years have gone, his medical transition process, and how he feels about the experience. An "extra" episode will also be released today, with details of how George's measurements and body shape have changed in two years, for those who want those details. We are here to share our entire intersectional experience with anyone who finds it beneficial, but we want to know what you connect with the most. You can let us know by clicking to a one-question anonymous survey at vote.pollcode.com/32371374. If you have a request/suggestion that isn't listed, comment! We can be found online at TransPanTastic.net, you can email us at TransPanTastic@gmail.com, and "TransPanTastic" is searchable on most social networks. We would love to hear from you, so let us know what you think or what you want to hear about!
Continuing last week's discussion of Christianity and the LGBTQIA+ community, we talk about how our friends' lives changed as they moved in and out of religious employment, government employment, and the private sector. They could see the effect of their religious views and their love for the queer community in the way they fit (or didn't) into each step of their respective and collective journeys. We are here to share our entire intersectional experience with anyone who finds it beneficial, but we want to know what you connect with the most. You can let us know by clicking to a one-question anonymous survey at vote.pollcode.com/32371374. If you have a request/suggestion that isn't listed, comment! We can be found online at TransPanTastic.net, you can email us at TransPanTastic@gmail.com, and "TransPanTastic" is searchable on most social networks. We would love to hear from you, so let us know what you think or what you want to hear about!
George's friend and his wife, the ones who lead the bible study we've mentioned, join us for another guest episode! We discuss their initial experiences at the intersection of religion and respect for the LGBTQIA+ community, and how they moved from a place of supporting "ex-gay" ministries to being genuinely supportive and loving toward the queer community. To be continued next week!
We are here to share our entire intersectional experience with anyone who finds it beneficial, but we want to know what you connect with the most. You can let us know by clicking to a one-question anonymous survey at vote.pollcode.com/32371374. If you have a request/suggestion that isn't listed, comment! We can be found online at TransPanTastic.net, you can email us at TransPanTastic@gmail.com, and "TransPanTastic" is searchable on most social networks. We would love to hear from you, so let us know what you think or what you want to hear about!
Transition literally means a change from one thing to another. Prior to transition, we were perceived as our assigned gender, and until we begin transitioning we have to cope with a less-than-ideal circumstance and state of being. How we cope is unique to each individual, and how long we choose to adapt to our assigned gender is also variable. George's experience of adapting and his methods of adaptation to his assigned gender were effective for him... until they weren't. We are here to share our entire intersectional experience with anyone who finds it beneficial, but we want to know what you connect with the most. You can let us know by clicking to a one-question anonymous survey at vote.pollcode.com/32371374. If you have a request/suggestion that isn't listed, comment! We can be found online at TransPanTastic.net, you can email us at TransPanTastic@gmail.com, and "TransPanTastic" is searchable on most social networks. We would love to hear from you, so let us know what you think or what you want to hear about!
When Child#2's special needs require a school meeting, it's naturally a little stressful. When we find out that Child Protection has gotten involved with him, it's a lot stressful. When we're a queer family facing these things, with relatively little experience so far with bigotry or discrimination, things might not be what they seem. We are here to share our entire intersectional experience with anyone who finds it beneficial, but we want to know what you connect with the most. You can let us know by clicking to a one-question anonymous survey at vote.pollcode.com/32371374. If you have a request/suggestion that isn't listed, comment! We can be found online at TransPanTastic.net, you can email us at TransPanTastic@gmail.com, and "TransPanTastic" is searchable on most social networks. We would love to hear from you, so let us know what you think or what you want to hear about!
During transition, the way others see us changes. This often changes the way they interact with us, although not in ways we would have expected. Sometimes the changes aren't even things others realize they're doing, but we who have seen the interactions from both presentations can spot the differences. We are here to share our entire intersectional experience with anyone who finds it beneficial, but we want to know what you connect with the most. You can let us know by clicking to a one-question anonymous survey at vote.pollcode.com/32371374. If you have a request/suggestion that isn't listed, comment! We can be found online at TransPanTastic.net, you can email us at TransPanTastic@gmail.com, and "TransPanTastic" is searchable on most social networks. We would love to hear from you, so let us know what you think or what you want to hear about!
"Seriously, there's an outrageous amount of running involved." George has had a really sh*tty day. Literally. Thankfully, between having the right hormones and the benefit of being culturally expected to behave as he is naturally inclined to do, he is able to manage things fairly well. We are here to share our entire intersectional experience with anyone who finds it beneficial, but we want to know what you connect with the most. You can let us know by clicking to a one-question anonymous survey at vote.pollcode.com/32371374. If you have a request/suggestion that isn't listed, comment! We can be found online at TransPanTastic.net, you can email us at TransPanTastic@gmail.com, and "TransPanTastic" is searchable on most social networks. We would love to hear from you, so let us know what you think or what you want to hear about!
Genitals are a touchy subject in most of western culture, and no less so for most of the transgender community. We follow up previous discussions of George's "junk", and jump into Jess' "junk" also. Figuratively, of course. Frank discussion of lower dysphoria, sex, and genderqueer identity follow as we let the conversation follow our thoughts. We are here to share our entire intersectional experience with anyone who finds it beneficial, but we want to know what you connect with the most. You can let us know by clicking to a one-question anonymous survey at vote.pollcode.com/32371374. If you have a request/suggestion that isn't listed, comment! We can be found online at TransPanTastic.net, you can email us at TransPanTastic@gmail.com, and "TransPanTastic" is searchable on most social networks. We would love to hear from you, so let us know what you think or what you want to hear about!
We love hearing from you, our listener friends. We do our best to respond to questions and feedback as quickly as possible, and while that may take us a few days sometimes, we are always glad to see what you think and to satisfy your curiosity. After we respond personally, we sometimes realize that your question is one that may be shared by other listeners, or we feel that it starts a worthwhile discussion, and so we compile them into an episode. From dysphoria to patreon to DHT to hair care, here's what you wanted to hear about. We are here to share our entire intersectional experience with anyone who finds it beneficial, but we want to know what you connect with the most. You can let us know by clicking to a one-question anonymous survey at vote.pollcode.com/32371374. If you have a request/suggestion that isn't listed, comment! We can be found online at TransPanTastic.net, you can email us at TransPanTastic@gmail.com, and "TransPanTastic" is searchable on most social networks. We would love to hear from you, so let us know what you think or what you want to hear about!
Child#2 is by far our most special and most needy of our special needs children. So when the school decides that he may not qualify for all of his special education services, we might have a problem on our hands. We try to find the bright side, or at least the bright spots, when we can, and it makes the problem closer to manageable. For now. We are here to share our entire intersectional experience with anyone who finds it beneficial, but we want to know what you connect with the most. You can let us know by clicking to a one-question anonymous survey at vote.pollcode.com/32371374. If you have a request/suggestion that isn't listed, comment! We can be found online at TransPanTastic.net, you can email us at TransPanTastic@gmail.com, and "TransPanTastic" is searchable on most social networks. We would love to hear from you, so let us know what you think or what you want to hear about!
We are both people of faith, but only Jess is a person of religion. We've discussed before how our respective faith backgrounds overlap and how we adapt to a mixed-faith marriage, but now Jess has invited the whole queer Jesus gang to our house. George would probably have an issue with this, if it weren't his best friend and said friend's wife in charge of the group. We are here to share our entire intersectional experience with anyone who finds it beneficial, but we want to know what you connect with the most. You can let us know by clicking to a one-question anonymous survey at http://vote.pollcode.com/32371374. If you have a request/suggestion that isn't listed, comment! We can be found online at http://TransPanTastic.net/, you can email us at TransPanTastic@gmail.com, and "TransPanTastic" is searchable on most social networks. We would love to hear from you, so let us know what you think or what you want to hear about!
When a person transitions, they often find themselves becoming more aware of their status in the world, more aware of themselves, and more aware of others' awareness of them. From the gym to the job to the front porch, this week George discusses how his self-awareness has been affected by his transition experience. We are here to share our entire intersectional experience with anyone who finds it beneficial, but we want to know what you connect with the most. You can let us know by clicking to a one-question anonymous survey at http://vote.pollcode.com/32371374. If you have a request/suggestion that isn't listed, comment! We can be found online at http://TransPanTastic.net/, you can email us at TransPanTastic@gmail.com, and "TransPanTastic" is searchable on most social networks. We would love to hear from you, so let us know what you think or what you want to hear about!
Pronouns are important, especially within the transgender community. Misgendering can be a horrible insult to someone who's had to struggle for the right to use the word that fits. So when Jess is so linguistically-confused and gender-challenged that he can't even get her own pronouns right, let alone everyone else's, they might just have to forgo the use of gendered pronouns for a while. We are here to share our entire intersectional experience with anyone who finds it beneficial, but we want to know what you connect with the most. You can let us know by clicking to a one-question anonymous survey at http://vote.pollcode.com/32371374. If you have a request/suggestion that isn't listed, comment! We can be found online at http://TransPanTastic.net/, you can email us at TransPanTastic@gmail.com, and "TransPanTastic" is searchable on most social networks. We would love to hear from you, so let us know what you think or what you want to hear about!
Holy podcasts, TransMan! One hundred episodes? Wow! Lower growth on testosterone is a highly individualized experience, and figuring out how to deal with one's body during any transition can consume a lot of one's time and one's mental/emotional energy. So when Child#2 is so terribly gendered and occasionally gets a little too focused on genitals, George doesn't always have the opportunity to get himself sorted. That said, once the kids are away, his dick seems to be functioning quite well, thank you. Parental warning for mildly explicit discussion of genital anatomy and sexual functioning. We are here to share our entire intersectional experience with anyone who finds it beneficial, but we want to know what you connect with the most. You can let us know by clicking to a one-question anonymous survey at http://vote.pollcode.com/32371374. If you have a request/suggestion that isn't listed, comment! We can be found online at http://TransPanTastic.net/, you can email us at TransPanTastic@gmail.com, and "TransPanTastic" is searchable on most social networks. We would love to hear from you, so let us know what you think or what you want to hear about!
During transition, making the change from one gender's sociocultural expectations to another can be a challenge, especially when someone has trained themself to ignore those differences. For George, and many other FtMs, things like how to groom one's newly sprouted facial hair and how to behave in the bathroom can be learning experiences., and a variety of problem-solving skills can be helpful in navigating the new experiences and expectations. For us, this month's learning experience has been at the gym, as George figures out how to bench press. Episodes #31 (with links) and #66 are some of our prior discussions of STPing as we referenced at about 21:00. Do you have a preference about what we discuss? Do you enjoy whatever happens across our mental desktops, or would you enjoy more of a certain topic? We are here to share our entire intersectional experience with anyone who finds it beneficial, but we want to know what you connect with the most. You can let us know by clicking to a one-question anonymous survey at http://vote.pollcode.com/32371374. If you have a request/suggestion that isn't listed, comment! We can be found online at http://TransPanTastic.net/, you can email us at TransPanTastic@gmail.com, and "TransPanTastic" is searchable on most social networks. We would love to hear from you, so let us know what you think or what you want to hear about!
When two kids go away for holiday break, the "leftover" child is even more special-needy than usual. Between dialing 911 from the kids club, dive-bombing George's new model train with GI-Joes, running wild with classmates at the museum, and just generally being a developmentally delayed seven-going-on-three-year-old, we had our hands full. So did the interview up our game or jump the shark? Want more guests, more personal narrative, more discussion of your favorite topic? Let us know at http://vote.pollcode.com/32371374. If you have a request/suggestion that isn't listed, comment! We can be found online at http://TransPanTastic.net/, you can email us at TransPanTastic@gmail.com, and "TransPanTastic" is searchable on most social networks. We would love to hear from you, so let us know what you think or what you want to hear about!
Christmas on the custody calendar means we had our celebrations a little late, but this year was all the more fun with extra family living in town now. Between kids, family we're stuck with, and family we chose, holiday fun was inescapable! So did the interview up our game or jump the shark? Want more guests, more personal narrative, more discussion of your favorite topic? Let us know at http://vote.pollcode.com/32371374. If you have a request/suggestion that isn't listed, comment! We can be found online at http://TransPanTastic.net/, you can email us at TransPanTastic@gmail.com, and "TransPanTastic" is searchable on most social networks. We would love to hear from you, so let us know what you think or what you want to hear about!
In the second part of our conversation with George's cousin, we discuss marriage and family life as queers in the suburbs, and how different it is from the earlier history mentioned last week.
Jess did a little googling and found the Craigslist ad we mentioned at http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/sfo/50077506.html. Hey, look!! There's a new survey!!! If you liked this episode, or if you didn't; if you want more guests, or if you don't; if you like discussion of faith, sex, childhood, transition, parenting, or whatever crosses our minds, let us know at http://vote.pollcode.com/32371374. If you have a request/suggestion that isn't listed, comment!
We can be found online at http://TransPanTastic.net/, you can email us at TransPanTastic@gmail.com, and "TransPanTastic" is searchable on most social networks. We would love to hear from you, so let us know what you think or what you want to hear about!
George's cousin came to visit, and we talked them into sitting down with us by a microphone for our first guest episode. As an AFAB, genderqueer, jewish, former pornographer, they fit right in with our crazy family!
Hey, look!! There's a new survey!!! If you liked this episode, or if you didn't; if you want more guests, or if you don't; if you like discussion of faith, sex, childhood, transition, parenting, or whatever crosses our minds, let us know at http://vote.pollcode.com/32371374. If you have a request/suggestion that isn't listed, comment!
We can be found online at http://TransPanTastic.net/, you can email us at TransPanTastic@gmail.com, and "TransPanTastic" is searchable on most social networks. We would love to hear from you, so let us know what you think or what you want to hear about!
Between birthdays and holidays, this year's schedule is full of opportunities for social awkwardness, gender-y and otherwise, and it has been all sorts of fun. Reviewing these events gives us an opportunity to discuss how George's introversion affects his social anxiety and how it has changed over the years, resulting from both experience and from transition. We would really appreciate, if you haven't taken our quick and anonymous survey, if you would please do so by going to poll.pollcode.com/15998381 or by clicking the link at TransPanTastic.net. We can be found online at http://TransPanTastic.net/, you can email us at TransPanTastic@gmail.com, and "TransPanTastic" is searchable on most social networks. We would love to hear from you, so let us know what you think or what you want to hear about!
Like Jack Sprat and wife, we often end up on opposite sides of a meal, task, or situation. George eats the fatty parts of the bacon, Jess eats the lean. George builds things, Jess sews things. George cleans, Jess cooks. While this is just a function of our respective experience and aptitudes, it often ends up seeming terribly heteronormative. We would really appreciate, if you haven't taken our quick and anonymous survey, if you would please do so by going to poll.pollcode.com/15998381 or by clicking the link at TransPanTastic.net. We can be found online at http://TransPanTastic.net/, you can email us at TransPanTastic@gmail.com, and "TransPanTastic" is searchable on most social networks. We would love to hear from you, so let us know what you think or what you want to hear about!
George seems to have developed a twin. Or maybe he has recently become some other guy's twin. Either way, his colleagues at work have mistaken him for one of his colleagues more than once. This mistaken identity has made George examine and become more aware of his own masculinity as he "sizes up" other guys and reevaluates his self-perception. We would really appreciate, if you haven't taken our quick and anonymous survey, if you would please do so by going to poll.pollcode.com/15998381 or by clicking the link at TransPanTastic.net. We can be found online at http://TransPanTastic.net/, you can email us at TransPanTastic@gmail.com, and "TransPanTastic" is searchable on most social networks. We would love to hear from you, so let us know what you think or what you want to hear about!
It's been said that "the only good dog stories are naughty dog stories". Unless there's a problem to solve, there's no story. The story isn't generally amusing while you're actually solving the problem, but the worst problems make for the best stories afterward.
You can hear and download the entire (accidentally-simmish) theme song at transpantastic.podbean.com/mf/web/ugf7y2/TPT-ThemeMusic.mp3.
We would really appreciate, if you haven't taken our quick and anonymous survey, if you would please do so by going to poll.pollcode.com/15998381 or by clicking the link at TransPanTastic.net. We can be found online at http://TransPanTastic.net/, you can email us at TransPanTastic@gmail.com, and "TransPanTastic" is searchable on most social networks. We would love to hear from you, so let us know what you think or what you want to hear about!
George's mom has gone to visit his sister for the holidays, and we are thankful for the lessened obligation. Even so, the responsibility is never far away, no matter how long the plane ride took. We would really appreciate, if you haven't taken our quick and anonymous survey, if you would please do so by going to poll.pollcode.com/15998381 or by clicking the link at TransPanTastic.net. We can be found online at http://TransPanTastic.net/, you can email us at TransPanTastic@gmail.com, and "TransPanTastic" is searchable on most social networks. We would love to hear from you, so let us know what you think or what you want to hear about!
Transitioning later in life has both advantages and drawbacks. After one and a half years of medical transition, and almost two years since deciding to do so, George and Jess reflect on life as it is and how it has changed. Waiting until middle-age has made the process easier by far than it would've been at a younger age, but George still would've done it long ago if he'd known how beneficial it would've been. From muscles and facial hair to social and cultural shifts, things are different, and it's a good thing. We would really appreciate, if you haven't taken our quick and anonymous survey, if you would please do so by going to poll.pollcode.com/15998381 or by clicking the link at TransPanTastic.net. We can be found online at http://TransPanTastic.net/, you can email us at TransPanTastic@gmail.com, and "TransPanTastic" is searchable on most social networks. We would love to hear from you, so let us know what you think or what you want to hear about!
A few weeks back, you may have seen a link to a casting call on our social media. We thought about this project that MTV is considering, and decided we are not the ideal candidate family. Although many trans-parented families might have some similarities, the extents to which our unique differences present themselves are a little extreme even for us at times, and certainly doesn't need to be on camera. Besides, then who would do this podcast?! Casting Call for Transgender Parents: http://remotecontrol.mtv.com/casting-call-for-parents/
Casting Call for Children of Transgender Parents: http://remotecontrol.mtv.com/casting-calls/casting-call-for-kids/
We would really appreciate, if you haven't taken our quick and anonymous survey, if you would please do so by going to poll.pollcode.com/15998381 or by clicking the link at TransPanTastic.net. We can be found online at http://TransPanTastic.net/, you can email us at TransPanTastic@gmail.com, and "TransPanTastic" is searchable on most social networks. We would love to hear from you, so let us know what you think or what you want to hear about!
Between parenting our kids and parenting George's mom, we finally exhausted our reserves of responsibility, so we ran away from home. It's a very good thing to be able to get away, even if George is still recovering from minor surgery and even if the responsibilities do try to follow us! We would really appreciate, if you haven't taken our quick and anonymous survey, if you would please do so by going to poll.pollcode.com/15998381 or by clicking the link at TransPanTastic.net. We can be found online at http://TransPanTastic.net/, you can email us at TransPanTastic@gmail.com, and "TransPanTastic" is searchable on most social networks. We would love to hear from you, so let us know what you think or what you want to hear about!
At George's one-year checkup after his top surgery, the surgeon and he decided that there were a few spots that were less than ideal, so they scheduled revisions. George was ready for fixing the way his chest looked, but he wasn't ready for all the other things involved with that process! We would really appreciate, if you haven't taken our quick and anonymous survey, if you would please do so by going to poll.pollcode.com/15998381 or by clicking the link at TransPanTastic.net. We can be found online at http://TransPanTastic.net/, you can email us at TransPanTastic@gmail.com, and "TransPanTastic" is searchable on most social networks. We would love to hear from you, so let us know what you think or what you want to hear about!
Lately all of our responsibilities have had us feeling a little overwhelmed, so we decided to let loose a little bit in hopes of relieving a little of that stress. We would really appreciate, if you haven't taken our quick and anonymous survey, if you would please do so by going to poll.pollcode.com/15998381 or by clicking the link at TransPanTastic.net. We can be found online at http://TransPanTastic.net/, you can email us at TransPanTastic@gmail.com, and "TransPanTastic" is searchable on most social networks. We would love to hear from you, so let us know what you think or what you want to hear about!
Jess has mentioned before that she has become frustrated with managing small people at work. It's her job as a teacher to do so, but it has become increasingly clear that her talents and temperament are best suited to a secondary or post-secondary position. As she searches for a better job, the issue of how to discuss her family life and how to be a good queer role model for her students have been a topic of discussion for the two of us, and we have discussed the question of how "out" to be on George's behalf now, before she makes any statements regarding his trans status to her new staff or students. We would really appreciate, if you haven't taken our quick and anonymous survey, if you would please do so by going to poll.pollcode.com/15998381 or by clicking the link at TransPanTastic.net. We can be found online at http://TransPanTastic.net/, you can email us at TransPanTastic@gmail.com, and "TransPanTastic" is searchable on most social networks. We would love to hear from you, so let us know what you think or what you want to hear about!
Child#2 has been participating in boy scouts for a few months now, and while Jess still has reservations about their history with the LGBT community, George has been all about getting him involved with positive opportunities for male socialization. We would really appreciate, if you haven't taken our quick and anonymous survey, if you would please do so by going to poll.pollcode.com/15998381 or by clicking the link at TransPanTastic.net. We can be found online at http://TransPanTastic.net/, you can email us at TransPanTastic@gmail.com, and "TransPanTastic" is searchable on most social networks. We would love to hear from you, so let us know what you think or what you want to hear about!
Doctor visits can be stressful. George's semi-annual endocrinologist visit is coming up, and that means blood work, and between that and all the other visits he's been taking his mom or his rear-end to, he's developed a case of "White Coat Syndrome". We would really appreciate, if you haven't taken our quick and anonymous survey, if you would please do so by going to poll.pollcode.com/15998381 or by clicking the link at TransPanTastic.net. We can be found online at http://TransPanTastic.net/, you can email us at TransPanTastic@gmail.com, and "TransPanTastic" is searchable on most social networks. We would love to hear from you, so let us know what you think or what you want to hear about!
A new school year for our kids means new meetings and conferences with teachers for us, and with their special needs it's always an experience. As our children adjust to the schedules and routines, we adjust to the behaviour struggles that often accompany such transitions. We would really appreciate, if you haven't taken our quick and anonymous survey, if you would please do so by going to poll.pollcode.com/15998381 or by clicking the link at TransPanTastic.net. We can be found online at http://TransPanTastic.net/, you can email us at TransPanTastic@gmail.com, and "TransPanTastic" is searchable on most social networks. We would love to hear from you, so let us know what you think or what you want to hear about!
The adult voices in the old Peanuts cartoons were all played by a muted trombone. We often feel like when we're talking to our kids, they seem to hear that same "Wanh-wah, wa-wa-WANH-wa" sound, hearing that we are speaking but not really listening or being fully aware of what's being said. Of course, that sometimes happens with adults too, whether it's between ourselves or with the nice officials at the Social Security office.
The current policy for change of gender on Social Security records is at https://secure.ssa.gov/poms.nsf/lnx/0110212200, and you can find specific information about exactly how those policies affect transgender individuals and how to effectively use the procedures listed there at http://www.transequality.org/Resources/SSAResource_June2013.pdf. We would really appreciate, if you haven't taken our quick and anonymous survey, if you would please do so by going to poll.pollcode.com/15998381 or by clicking the link at TransPanTastic.net. We can be found online at http://TransPanTastic.net/, you can email us at TransPanTastic@gmail.com, and "TransPanTastic" is searchable on most social networks. We would love to hear from you, so let us know what you think or what you want to hear about!
While George finishes up the issues regarding his rear end, and the various interactions with doctors that we began discussing a few weeks ago, he can't help but find himself disappointed in the way his body responds to surgery and invasive medical procedures. This can occasionally become a dysphoria trigger, as he deals with just how unattainable and impractical any lower surgery would be. We would really appreciate, if you haven't taken our quick and anonymous survey, if you would please do so by going to poll.pollcode.com/15998381 or by clicking the link at TransPanTastic.net. We can be found online at http://TransPanTastic.net/, you can email us at TransPanTastic@gmail.com, and "TransPanTastic" is searchable on most social networks. We would love to hear from you, so let us know what you think or what you want to hear about!
When situations and circumstances become too much to deal with, or when we find that we are not dealing well with our situation, one way to get help coping is in therapy. Many trans folk seek therapy as part of the "Standards Of Care", an old model for medical transition, but it's good for much more than that. We would really appreciate, if you haven't taken our quick and anonymous survey, if you would please do so by going to poll.pollcode.com/15998381 or by clicking the link at TransPanTastic.net. We can be found online at http://TransPanTastic.net/, you can email us at TransPanTastic@gmail.com, and "TransPanTastic" is searchable on most social networks. We would love to hear from you, so let us know what you think or what you want to hear about!
Sometimes things get misplaced. While we endeavour to find lost items promptly, it often happens that the hunt for missing objects is preempted by our busy lives. Back-to-school has made our lives busier than usual, so the to-do list has gotten completely shuffled and lost-and-found hasn't been a priority. We would really appreciate, if you haven't taken our quick and anonymous survey, if you would please do so by going to poll.pollcode.com/15998381 or by clicking the link at TransPanTastic.net. We can be found online at http://TransPanTastic.net/, you can email us at TransPanTastic@gmail.com, and "TransPanTastic" is searchable on most social networks. We would love to hear from you, so let us know what you think or what you want to hear about!
More questions have been asked, so more answers are being recorded for your enjoyment, enlightenment, or timepassment. From the term "PrincessMan" to our favorite fandoms, from pod-stats to voice lessons, from Maryland to Kazakhstan, we've covered the topics you've asked about in today's episode. We would really appreciate, if you haven't taken our quick and anonymous survey, if you would please do so by going to poll.pollcode.com/15998381 or by clicking the link at TransPanTastic.net. We can be found online at http://TransPanTastic.net/, you can email us at TransPanTastic@gmail.com, and "TransPanTastic" is searchable on most social networks. We would love to hear from you, so let us know what you think or what you want to hear about!
Every once in a while, we have a problem that won't go away until we talk about it in a podcast episode. We've come to call this phenomenon "microphone magic". This time the problem is health-related, prompting a few visits to new doctors and the anxiety that can induce in trans folk. As discussed at about 11:50, we recorded the process of finding our doctor in episode #21 "Doctor, Doctor" (which can be found at http://transpantastic.net/2013/08/doctor-doctor.html if your podcatcher doesn't pull all the old episodes). At 26:20 we incorrectly state that nitroglycerin is a vasoconstrictor. It is actually a vasodilator. Hence the lowered blood pressure. We would really appreciate, if you haven't taken our quick and anonymous survey, if you would please do so by going to poll.pollcode.com/15998381 or by clicking the link at TransPanTastic.net. We can be found online at http://TransPanTastic.net/, you can email us at TransPanTastic@gmail.com, and "TransPanTastic" is searchable on most social networks. We would love to hear from you, so let us know what you think or what you want to hear about!
From the moment a newborn emerges and the doctor takes note of their genitals, any child born into most western cultures is assigned a set of expections and cultural norms we refer to as "gender". It takes only a little experience to realize that the majority of these expectations are nonsense. We would really appreciate, if you haven't taken our quick and anonymous survey, if you would please do so by going to poll.pollcode.com/15998381 or by clicking the link at TransPanTastic.net. We can be found online at http://TransPanTastic.net/, you can email us at TransPanTastic@gmail.com, and "TransPanTastic" is searchable on most social networks. We would love to hear from you, so let us know what you think or what you want to hear about!
George's transition has made him clearly male in appearance, and this affects everything from his health to his social interactions. Jess is generally happy to support him in each situation, even when her own queerness gets lost in the shuffle. When hiking or exercising, when dealing with his mom, or when dealing with strangers in public, there are new experiences for both of us to explore. We would really appreciate, if you haven't taken our quick and anonymous survey, if you would please do so by going to poll.pollcode.com/15998381 or by clicking the link at TransPanTastic.net. We can be found online at http://TransPanTastic.net/, you can email us at TransPanTastic@gmail.com, and "TransPanTastic" is searchable on most social networks. We would love to hear from you, so let us know what you think or what you want to hear about!
There are four mammalian creatures in our house under four feet (~120cm) tall, two short hominids and two large canines. We have committed to be responsible for these living beings (and a tall homonid too), and this fact has given us both enjoyment and stress, both frustration and joy. We would really appreciate, if you haven't taken our quick and anonymous survey, if you would please do so by going to poll.pollcode.com/15998381 or by clicking the link at TransPanTastic.net. We can be found online at http://TransPanTastic.net/, you can email us at TransPanTastic@gmail.com, and "TransPanTastic" is searchable on most social networks. We would love to hear from you, so let us know what you think or what you want to hear about!
Transition is, by necessity and by definition, a self-centered act. To recreate one's physical self in the most psychologically congruous image possible, is intensely intrapersonal. But when life keeps happening all around us, between raising kids, caring for parents, tending pets, supporting family, paying bills, keeping house, it's easy to get lost in all the external details and forget that transition is even happening! We would really appreciate, if you haven't taken our quick and anonymous survey, if you would please do so by going to poll.pollcode.com/15998381 or by clicking the link at TransPanTastic.net. We can be found online at http://TransPanTastic.net/, you can email us at TransPanTastic@gmail.com, and "TransPanTastic" is searchable on most social networks. We would love to hear from you, so let us know what you think or what you want to hear about!
George's mom is old. As both her body and her brain have aged, she still seems, at least in our experience, to be fairly sharp. Why, then, do some of her doctors seem to think she has dementia? The answer might have to do with George's transition. We would really appreciate, if you haven't taken our quick and anonymous survey, if you would please do so by going to poll.pollcode.com/15998381 or by clicking the link at TransPanTastic.net. We can be found online at http://TransPanTastic.net/, you can email us at TransPanTastic@gmail.com, and "TransPanTastic" is searchable on most social networks. We would love to hear from you, so let us know what you think or what you want to hear about!
Because, episode sixty-nine, what else could we do? Between dysphoria and having genitalia that didn't quite work right, learning how to sex was quite a process for George. So when his body started changing in response to testosterone, we started exploring the new things it could do and different ways that sex could happen. We would really appreciate, if you haven't taken our quick and anonymous survey, if you would please do so by going to poll.pollcode.com/15998381 or by clicking the link at TransPanTastic.net. We can be found online at http://TransPanTastic.net/, you can email us at TransPanTastic@gmail.com, and "TransPanTastic" is searchable on most social networks. We would love to hear from you, so let us know what you think or what you want to hear about!
There are few benefits to working for the government. The pay is crummy and job security is tied to the budget which is sadly tied to politics. But one thing we have going for us is that we're protected by law. If they want to fire us for being transgender, they have to find another reason to put on the paperwork! Thankfully, neither George nor Jess work in a hostile environment, but the situations we find ourselves in are often interesting, amusing, or just facepalm-inducing. You can hear more about George's work coming-out in episodes 28-30, and the email that we referenced near the beginning of our discussion is at http://transpantastic.net/2013/09/the-work-letter.html. We would really appreciate, if you haven't taken our quick and anonymous survey, if you would please do so by going to poll.pollcode.com/15998381 or by clicking the link at TransPanTastic.net. We can be found online at http://TransPanTastic.net/, you can email us at TransPanTastic@gmail.com, and "TransPanTastic" is searchable on most social networks. We would love to hear from you, so let us know what you think or what you want to hear about!
George has the sniffles and the microphone seems to have become an antenna for some sort of radio signal. Jess managed to minimize the frequency containing the interference, but it's still there as background noise. Even so, we manage a follow-up discussion of dysphoria as it relates to last week's discussion of packing, peeing, genitalia, and options for lower surgery. The links from our prior discussion of STPs, including the "homemade" item we keep referencing, is at transpantastic.net/2013/10/stping-links.html. We would really appreciate, if you haven't taken our quick and anonymous survey, if you would please do so by going to poll.pollcode.com/15998381 or by clicking the link at TransPanTastic.net. We can be found online at http://TransPanTastic.net/, you can email us at TransPanTastic@gmail.com, and "TransPanTastic" is searchable on most social networks. We would love to hear from you, so let us know what you think or what you want to hear about!
Figuring out the bathroom thing after transition is simultaneously harder and easier than many guys expect, and George is no exception. The environment in the mens room is very different from that in the womens room, and figuring out what to do with your "junk" is hard enough without having to figure out what to do with yourself. The links from our prior discussion of STPs, including the "homemade" item we keep referencing, is at transpantastic.net/2013/10/stping-links.html. We would really appreciate, if you haven't taken our quick and anonymous survey, if you would please do so by going to poll.pollcode.com/15998381 or by clicking the link at TransPanTastic.net. We can be found online at http://TransPanTastic.net/, you can email us at TransPanTastic@gmail.com, and "TransPanTastic" is searchable on most social networks. We would love to hear from you, so let us know what you think or what you want to hear about!
When our kids grow up, they will have to earn their own way to pay for their own things. Our job as parents is to prepare them for this reality. If we raise them with a sense of entitlement, or a belief that they have a "right to" have what they want, regardless of whether or not it has been earned or properly used, we will have failed. We would really appreciate, if you haven't taken our quick and anonymous survey, if you would please do so by going to poll.pollcode.com/15998381 or by clicking the link at TransPanTastic.net. We can be found online at http://TransPanTastic.net/, you can email us at TransPanTastic@gmail.com, and "TransPanTastic" is searchable on most social networks. We would love to hear from you, so let us know what you think or what you want to hear about!
Life keeps going on. Transition keeps happening, even when George gets misgendered. Medicines keep getting refilled, even when we get the dead man's pills on accident. Kids keep growing taller and older, even when they don't seem to be growing smarter or more sensible. It just doesn't stop, even when we might want it to, just for a moment, so we can catch our breath.
The work letter that George sent via email to most of his colleagues last year, and re-sent as we discussed at about 05:30 is online at http://transpantastic.net/2013/09/the-work-letter.html. We can be found online at http://TransPanTastic.net/, you can email us at TransPanTastic@gmail.com, and "TransPanTastic" is searchable on most social networks. We would love to hear from you, so let us know what you think or what you want to hear about!
One year on testosterone has changed a lot of things. George's voice has dropped noticeably, he stands a half-inch taller, and his whole body is shaped differently. But the best changes of all are not anatomical, they're psychological and social. To feel "right" in his own skin, and in the way others interact with him, this has been the best change of all. We would really appreciate, if you haven't taken our quick and anonymous survey, if you would please do so by going to poll.pollcode.com/15998381 or by clicking the link at TransPanTastic.net. We can be found online at http://TransPanTastic.net/, you can email us at TransPanTastic@gmail.com, and "TransPanTastic" is searchable on most social networks. We would love to hear from you, so let us know what you think or what you want to hear about!
Continuing last week's survey, we finish the "when" and "what" questions, and move into the "first time" and "either/or" questions. Some answers have changed in the past year, due to the effects of testosterone, and others are just fun. We would really appreciate, if you haven't taken our quick and anonymous survey, if you would please do so by going to poll.pollcode.com/15998381 or by clicking the link at TransPanTastic.net. We can be found online at http://TransPanTastic.net/, you can email us at TransPanTastic@gmail.com, and "TransPanTastic" is searchable on most social networks. We would love to hear from you, so let us know what you think or what you want to hear about!
A few weeks back, we posted a survey link to get some quick and anonymous demographics from you, our friends who listen to our weekly storytime. We expected 20%-50% response, but the initial response was less than 5% of our weekly download count. So we decided to take some surveys ourselves, the kind that float around tumblr and ask about the random details of your life. Here's the first half. Next week is the second (somewhat "adult") half, and the week after that will be George's "maniversary" episode. We would really appreciate, if you haven't taken the survey, if you would please do so by going to poll.pollcode.com/15998381 or by clicking the link at TransPanTastic.net. We can be found online at http://TransPanTastic.net/, you can email us at TransPanTastic@gmail.com, and "TransPanTastic" is searchable on most social networks. We would love to hear from you, so let us know what you think or what you want to hear about!
The system of government pension in the United States is called Social Security. The number assigned to each American citizen and legal resident is called a Social Security Number, and it is used for all manner of federal identification. And like many government processes, it's a pain in the rear to change. Jess & George are both public employees, familiar with the simultaneously inane and labyrinthine procedures necessary to accomplish anything within government agencies, but bringing gender transition and his family's unique brand of interpersonal communication to the equation makes for a real adventure. We can be found online at http://TransPanTastic.net/, you can email us at TransPanTastic@gmail.com, and "TransPanTastic" is searchable on most social networks. We would love to hear from you, so let us know what you think or what you want to hear about!
Recently George was having difficulty accomplishing all he felt he ought to at work. He found this frustrating, but his work-wife reminded him that he generally holds very high expectations for himself, and that the problem might be solved by adjusting these expectations. We've since applied this problem-solving method to many aspects of our lives, and what do you know, it works!
In case you missed it last week, please go to http://poll.pollcode.com/15998381 and drop us some quick and anonymous demographics to help guide our future episode topics!
We can be found online at http://TransPanTastic.net/, you can email us at TransPanTastic@gmail.com, and "TransPanTastic" is searchable on most social networks. We would love to hear from you, so let us know what you think or what you want to hear about!
We often find ourselves in the middle of conversations and realize "this would make a good podcast topic." This time we turned on a microphone and started over with rape culture, working our way through family anecdotes and the metaphysical nature of trans-ness, to religion and our individual views on gender as they relate to faith. Please go to http://poll.pollcode.com/15998381 and let us know some quick and anonymous demographics, as we discussed at about the 24-minute mark. We can be found online at http://TransPanTastic.net/, you can email us at TransPanTastic@gmail.com, and "TransPanTastic" is searchable on most social networks. We would love to hear from you, so let us know what you think or what you want to hear about!
Yeah, George is a middle-aged adolescent, but this week we're not talking about him. #1Child is is a cis-aged teenager, and #2 and #3 add up to almost equal him. We keep hoping that the parenting thing will settle down, but with our special-needs kids it's not likely. We can be found online at http://TransPanTastic.net/, you can email us at TransPanTastic@gmail.com, and "TransPanTastic" is searchable on most social networks. We would love to hear from you, so let us know what you think or what you want to hear about!
From the changing room at the sporting goods store, to the hot tub at the gym, to the really gross bathrooms all over town, some spaces are decidedly gendered. We discuss George's experiences with these spaces over the course of finally getting himself a few needed replacements for clothing he has outgrown because of body changes on T. We can be found online at http://TransPanTastic.net/, you can email us at TransPanTastic@gmail.com, and "TransPanTastic" is searchable on most social networks. We would love to hear from you, so let us know what you think or what you want to hear about!
Why does it always have to be friday? Jess & George discuss how the changes in George's hormones have changed the way he deals with stress and emotional overload. Also, Jess might be a psychopath and George has been on HRT for about ten months. We can be found online at http://TransPanTastic.net/, you can email us at TransPanTastic@gmail.com, and "TransPanTastic" is searchable on most social networks. We would love to hear from you, so let us know what you think or what you want to hear about!
Genderedness happens. Lately, Jess has caught herself saying "You're such a man!" to George often enough to have become a joke. But upon wider examination, George is "Such a man!", #3Child is "Such a girl!", #2Child is "Such a boy!", #1Child is "Such a teenager!", and Jess is "Such a geek!". We can be found online at http://TransPanTastic.net/, you can email us at TransPanTastic@gmail.com, and "TransPanTastic" is searchable on most social networks. We would love to hear from you, so let us know what you think or what you want to hear about!
And that "life around transition" stuff seems to have quieted down enough for us to actually talk about transition again. George used to love massages, but getting one during transition can be a questionable situation. Also, we discuss that packer that came in the mail a few weeks back. We can be found online at http://TransPanTastic.net/, you can email us at TransPanTastic@gmail.com, and "TransPanTastic" is searchable on most social networks. We would love to hear from you, so let us know what you think or what you want to hear about!
George's mom is settled into her new place, and things are finally starting to settle back down. Which means back to parenting shenanigans and religious nonsense. We can be found online at http://TransPanTastic.net/, you can email us at TransPanTastic@gmail.com, and "TransPanTastic" is searchable on most social networks. We would love to hear from you, so let us know what you think or what you want to hear about!
Getting mom settled in has been an adventure, but if George had been required to undertake this quest prior to transition it would've been a completely different situation. Between visits to doctors, welfare, social security, and the new apartment that we finally moved her into, there's no time to manage gender dysphoria. Or to get the new packer in the mail! We can be found online at http://TransPanTastic.net/, you can email us at TransPanTastic@gmail.com, and "TransPanTastic" is searchable on most social networks. We would love to hear from you, so let us know what you think or what you want to hear about!
Over the course of George's transition, over the course of parenting three kids and one elderly mom, over the course of living life, we often recognize in hindsight that we didn't know things. Not only that, but we didn't even realize that we didn't know them. Recently, we've questioned a few of our own preconceptions about parenting, about gender, and about our ability to take a pleasant hike. In response to a few inquiries about our appearances, we posted a few images at TransPanTastic.tumblr.com, where we often post bits and pieces of our lives throughout the week. We can be found online at http://TransPanTastic.net/, you can email us at TransPanTastic@gmail.com, and "TransPanTastic" is searchable on most social networks. We would love to hear from you, so let us know what you think or what you want to hear about
In what we hope to be the final installment of the "dad's dead so let's move mom across the country" story, we finally get to make that drive across the country. With George's mom. Leading Jess to be very thankful that George had been to therapy long before they ever met.
We can be found online at http://TransPanTastic.net/, you can email us at TransPanTastic@gmail.com, and "TransPanTastic" is searchable on most social networks. We would love to hear from you, so let us know what you think or what you want to hear about
We almost split this week's episode into two parts. We considered it for two reasons. George and Jess were in two different places, doing two separate things. Their stories of their time apart are in two contrasting narratives, with two comparable stories of caring for their respective charges. Additionally, the time is almost as long as two of our usual episodes... But in the end, we two can't be separated for long, and so we kept the story of our separate weeks as one (long) episode.
We can be found online at http://TransPanTastic.net/, you can email us at TransPanTastic@gmail.com, and "TransPanTastic" is searchable on most social networks. We would love to hear from you, so let us know what you think or what you want to hear about
As often happens after death of a loved one, we got into the topic of spirituality. After exploring our individual histories with faith and religion, we discussed what we believe, why we believe it, and why it's okay that we don't believe the same thing. We can be found online at http://TransPanTastic.net/, you can email us at TransPanTastic@gmail.com, and "TransPanTastic" is searchable on most social networks. We would love to hear from you, so let us know what you think or what you want to hear about!
The passing of George's step-dad has offered plenty of opportunity for that unique brand of coping humor we have generally reserved for the demands of dealing with special needs children. We can be found online at http://TransPanTastic.net/, you can email us at TransPanTastic@gmail.com, and "TransPanTastic" is searchable on most social networks. We would love to hear from you, so let us know what you think or what you want to hear about!
Women are funny. Men are funny. Everyone else is funny too. From the cycling instructor, to the guys in the locker room, to the uber-binary folks of both trans* and cis experience, to the random women who seem to be angry at George just for being a man, to the colleague who commented on George's voice change. People are just funny. We can be found online at http://TransPanTastic.net/, you can email us at TransPanTastic@gmail.com, and "TransPanTastic" is searchable on most social networks. We would love to hear from you, so let us know what you think or what you want to hear about!
Children are naughty, and as parents we have to set limits and boundaries that will help them grow into adults who learn how not to be naughty. Or at least how not to get caught being naughty... Sometimes that even means enforcing punishments while helping them through trauma, grief, or other negative experiences. We can be found online at http://TransPanTastic.net/, you can email us at TransPanTastic@gmail.com, and "TransPanTastic" is searchable on most social networks. We would love to hear from you, so let us know what you think or what you want to hear about!
The holidays are done, but our interruptions are just beginning. Between dogs, kids, and phones, we discuss our holidays, update surgery recovery, and discuss changing brands of testosterone. We can be found online at http://TransPanTastic.net/, you can email us at TransPanTastic@gmail.com, and "TransPanTastic" is searchable on most social networks. We would love to hear from you, so let us know what you think or what you want to hear about!
At release time, we are probably christmassing with the kids, so our holiday update will come next week. The gym has hot tubs and saunas. They are in the locker rooms. George had not been planning to spend much time in the men's locker room with his shirt off just yet, but his muscles needed the hot tub. Testosterone has been doing good things for him, but is it doing enough for the hot tub? We can be found online at http://TransPanTastic.net/, you can email us at TransPanTastic@gmail.com, and "TransPanTastic" is searchable on most social networks. We would love to hear from you, so let us know what you think or what you want to hear about!
Blended families and blended visitation schedules mix with work and school schedules, and it often doesn't quite fit into the 24 hours and 7 days that our culture and place in the solar system provide us. George is a morning person, Jess is a night person, and the kids are sometimes persons, so we all do what we can to make things work. We can be found online at http://TransPanTastic.net/, you can email us at TransPanTastic@gmail.com, and "TransPanTastic" is searchable on most social networks. We would love to hear from you, so let us know what you think or what you want to hear about!
George got birthday'd, bought a new suit, and used the men's locker room at the gym. All in the really-freaking-cold weather. We can be found online at http://TransPanTastic.net/, you can email us at TransPanTastic@gmail.com, and "TransPanTastic" is searchable on most social networks. We would love to hear from you, so let us know what you think or what you want to hear about!
We occasionally have questions from you, our friends, pop up in our various inboxes. We generally answer promptly, but privately. There are a few questions, however, that have seemed worth answering on-air, for the sake of clarifying any potential confusion or tying up loose ends from previous episodes. We can be found online at http://TransPanTastic.net/, you can email us at TransPanTastic@gmail.com, and "TransPanTastic" is searchable on most social networks. We would love to hear from you, so let us know what you think or what you want to hear about!
Parenting is often something of a roller-coaster. And special needs kids may sometimes seem to make things worse, but they really just make the highs and lows more extreme. So after a bit of discussion about our amusingly underplanned thanksgiving prep, we wrapped up some of the loose ends of stories and topics related to kids that are turning out pretty well. We can be found online at http://TransPanTastic.net/, you can email us at TransPanTastic@gmail.com, and "TransPanTastic" is searchable on most social networks. We would love to hear from you, so let us know what you think or what you want to hear about!
Back when we were growing up, the only safe social space was with the other queers. Now that we're "socially acceptable", we've found other friends that share our values and priorities but don't share the queer experience. Parenting makes social time hard, especially when much of the queer community choose not to raise children, and "just don't get it". We can be found online at http://TransPanTastic.net/, you can email us at TransPanTastic@gmail.com, and "TransPanTastic" is searchable on most social networks. We would love to hear from you, so let us know what you think or what you want to hear about!
We like things that are functional. George's aunt has come to live near us, so we can care for her and she can care for our kids... and for George's ex-wife. And the awkwardness is totally overshadowed by the functionality of it all. We can be found online at http://TransPanTastic.net/, you can email us at TransPanTastic@gmail.com, and "TransPanTastic" is searchable on most social networks. We would love to hear from you, so let us know what you think or what you want to hear about!
So we started out with intent to make a "Six Months on T" update, but we got distracted talking about Child #1's recent arrest. If you missed the link to the SAGE test in our social media last week, it can be found at http://www.hemingways.org/GIDinfo/sage/.
We can be found online at http://TransPanTastic.net/, you can email us at TransPanTastic@gmail.com, and "TransPanTastic" is searchable on most social networks. We would love to hear from you, so let us know what you think or what you want to hear about!
Jess has always felt rather ambivalent to the concept of gender, but recent changes in George's behaviour and affect have made her realize just how she really is less ambivalent and more oblivious. Close friends and partners of trans* persons have occasionally recognized the social and emotional changes caused by hormone treatment, and remarked "Oh, that's why women/men do that!", validating stereotypes. But when her natural inclinations are all over the gender spectrum and she doesn't even realize the genderedness of her own actions, what's a princess-man to do? We can be found online at http://TransPanTastic.net/, you can email us at TransPanTastic@gmail.com, and "TransPanTastic" is searchable on most social networks. We would love to hear from you, so let us know what you think or what you want to hear about!
George has been changing. That was kinda the idea of this whole adventure. The word "transition" indicates change. This week, we discuss how the changes in his world, both internally and externally, relate to gender both as a biological concept and as a social construct. Information on finding a kinesiologist in your area can is online at icak.com. We can be found online at http://TransPanTastic.net/, you can email us at TransPanTastic@gmail.com, and "TransPanTastic" is searchable on most social networks. We would love to hear from you, so let us know what you think or what you want to hear about!
When you need to cope with difficult circumstances, it's useful to be able to laugh about them. Raising special needs kids is often frustrating and exhausting, and we occasionally make jokes that would, out of context, be absolutely horrifying. George felt that it would be best to clarify that when we say awful evil horrible things about our children, we don't really mean it, we're just making one another laugh. We segue (badly) from there into discussing the endocrinologist that George was referred to. Which happens to be the same one he had the hassles with back in the spring, 'round abouts episodes 4 to 10. Thankfully, this time around they seem much more supportive. We can be found online at http://TransPanTastic.net/, you can email us at TransPanTastic@gmail.com, and "TransPanTastic" is searchable on most social networks. We would love to hear from you, so let us know what you think or what you want to hear about!
Now that the question of which bathroom to use is fairly settled for George, he's started researching various Stand-To-Pee devices. Links to the two he's used are up at TransPanTastic.net. After discussing the specific items he's begun familiarizing himself with, we delved deeper into the topic of gender dysphoria, and George is very thankful that while he would very much appreciate the experience of having genitalia that matched his gender, he does not feel the need to utilize prostheses to assist in managing the discongruity. We can be found online at http://TransPanTastic.net/, you can email us at TransPanTastic@gmail.com, and "TransPanTastic" is searchable on most social networks. We would love to hear from you, so let us know what you think or what you want to hear about!
Returning to work after three weeks of leave can be daunting, but the results of surgery and changes from five months on testosterone have probably affected that process, and George's colleagues have been, on the whole, supportive and encouraging. Meanwhile, the kids are still extra-special, and Jess is slightly peeved that George made her put clothes on but is otherwise content. We can be found online at http://TransPanTastic.net/, you can email us at TransPanTastic@gmail.com, and "TransPanTastic" is searchable on most social networks. We would love to hear from you, so let us know what you think or what you want to hear about!
"THE LETTER" has been sent. Finally. Everyone who responded has been supportive, and now George can get back to work, which is a good thing. His boss and colleagues have been covering his workload while he's been out, and they're very ready to be done with that.
We can be found online at http://TransPanTastic.net/, you can email us at TransPanTastic@gmail.com, and "TransPanTastic" is searchable on most social networks. We would love to hear from you, so let us know what you think or what you want to hear about!
♪♫ Hi ho, hi ho, it's off to schedule a meeting... George's leave time is up, but he's not headed back to work just yet. The letter still isn't approved, and they haven't decided how to handle the situation. They haven't even decided how to go about deciding. The only thing they have decided is that he should stay home until it's decided. We can be found online at http://TransPanTastic.net/, you can email us at TransPanTastic@gmail.com, and "TransPanTastic" is searchable on most social networks. We would love to hear from you, so let us know what you think or what you want to hear about!
George is recovering well from top surgery. If you missed the link on our Tumblr, Twitter, Facebook, or Google+, the meditations George used were "Stress Free Surgery: A Self Relaxation Program to Help You Prepare for and Recover from Surgery", by Linda Thomson. As of recording, his work still hasn't figured out the email thing. We still plan on publishing it when it's been sent, so watch the website for that. We can be found online at http://TransPanTastic.net/, you can email us at TransPanTastic@gmail.com, and "TransPanTastic" is searchable on most social networks. We would love to hear from you, so let us know what you think or what you want to hear about!
George has a date for top surgery... next week! We could've announced that sooner, but we didn't want to jinx it. Or spoil the surprise. Or something like that. He has work leave scheduled and pre-operative instructions from the surgeon. While he's on leave, we're hoping that his supervisors will distribute "the letter" via email, but some of them are still confused as to why that might even be necessary. If/when it's approved, we'll post a copy at TransPanTastic.net. Until then, you can find lots of other examples by googling "transgender transition work letter". Also, we laugh about Child #2's attempts at swearing. Hence the "explicit" marker. We can be found online at http://TransPanTastic.net/, you can email us at TransPanTastic@gmail.com, and "TransPanTastic" is searchable on most social networks. We would love to hear from you, so let us know what you think or what you want to hear about!
After four months on testosterone, George's body has begun to change. From voice to body hair to skin texture, he's much more manly. Or at least more teenage-boy-ly. Even more interesting than his physical changes, though, is the way his changing appearance changes the way others interact with him. Also, if anyone wants to make a bathroom flipchart like the one we mentioned, send us a picture and we'll feature it on the podcast!!
We can be found online at http://TransPanTastic.net/, you can email us at TransPanTastic@gmail.com, and "TransPanTastic" is searchable on most social networks. We would love to hear from you, so let us know what you think or what you want to hear about!
Child #3 started kindergarten this week. The expected procedure is that on the first day of kindergarten, one parent accompanies the child to school for the morning, to help them adapt (and to fill out paperwork). George would rather have been elsewhere, but none of #3's other parents could make it so he was drafted. The upside: He was completely read as male the entire time. The downside: He was at kindergarten. All. Morning. We can be found online at http://TransPanTastic.net/, you can email us at TransPanTastic@gmail.com, and "TransPanTastic" is searchable on most social networks. We would love to hear from you, so let us know what you think or what you want to hear about!
Life is crazy. Kids are definitely crazymaking, but sometimes the pets are worse. Or maybe they're better, depending on your attitude and preferred level of crazy. Our three dogs are in their twilight years, and it shows. A is a deaf and senile, B is blind, and C is just kinda stupid. They're all expensive, but the kids love them and they had George before Jess did so she'll let them stay.
We can be found online at http://TransPanTastic.net/, you can email us at TransPanTastic@gmail.com, and "TransPanTastic" is searchable on most social networks. We would love to hear from you, so let us know what you think or what you want to hear about!
George likes the family he was born with, Jess is often confused by that. Even so, they both like the family they have chosen for themselves, and the friends they choose to fill their lives with. Watching our friends and family adapt to new pronouns and secondary sex characteristics, often subconsciously changing their own patterns of interaction, has been an interesting exercise in sociology.
We can be found online at http://TransPanTastic.net/, you can email us at TransPanTastic@gmail.com, and "TransPanTastic" is searchable on most social networks. We would love to hear from you, so let us know what you think or what you want to hear about!
Sometimes our life is amazing. We have great kids, good jobs, supportive friends, and most importantly each other. But then something comes up that overshadows everything else, causes stress, and keeps us from enjoying the rest of life. Lately, that something has been health care. For many trans* folk, medical transition is a struggle to access, and George's experiences with trying to get his medical needs met have been a trial. The stress of it has been huge, and the hormonal roller coaster won't quit until his dosage is fixed. Unfortunately, the MDeity isn't listening, so he found another doctor with a slightly different outlook. Will things be different? We'll see. We can be found online at http://TransPanTastic.net/, you can email us at TransPanTastic@gmail.com, and "TransPanTastic" is searchable on most social networks. We would love to hear from you, so let us know what you think or what you want to hear about!
... or is that coming outs? George expressed his identity to a family friend who happens to be his boss. As his boss, she was able to begin checking into the employer's needs, but we were more interested that family friends be aware of the situation, as we were planning on telling the kids. We want them to be able to talk through and process this as needed over the summer, and grandpas and aunties should probably hear it from us first! The kids, however, seemed more interested in ice cream than in their "new" dad. Check TransPanTastic.net for a list of books we, our children, or our employers, found helpful!
We can be found online at http://TransPanTastic.net/, you can email us at TransPanTastic@gmail.com, and "TransPanTastic" is searchable on most social networks. We would love to hear from you, so let us know what you think or what you want to hear about!
George & Jess went to Seattle, home of the Space Needle, GenderCast, the Seahawks, lots of rain, and our good friends who just got married! The trip was George's first time going "full time", and it was, overall, a positive experience. From the Trans*101 talk we stumbled into, to the gorgeous wedding, to the drag king show, a fun time was had by all. We can be found online at http://TransPanTastic.net/, you can email us at TransPanTastic@gmail.com, and "TransPanTastic" is searchable on most social networks. We would love to hear from you, so let us know what you think or what you want to hear about!
Our conversation today was a bit rambly, as is our life often. First we indulge in a little ratings-whoring, so please rate us on iTunes, follow our twitter, tumblr, facebook, google+ (all listed in-site as "TransPanTastic"), and leave comments on our site! We then proceed to discuss positive things about our kids (they're not always rant-making), our upcoming trip to Seattle for a friend's wedding, and healthcare/self-care for HRT and surgery plans. We can be found online at http://TransPanTastic.net/, and you can email us at TransPanTastic@gmail.com. We would love to hear from you, so let us know what you think or what you want to hear about!
"You mistake my choice not to feel as a reflection of my not caring, while I assure you the truth is precisely the opposite." Spock's words in the most recent Star Trek movie fit a metaphor we've used for a few years, when hitting the off-switch on one's feelings to logically assess and address a situation. So at the risk of starting to sound like a YouTube channel, we continue the testosterone updates, but through the magic of the interweb, one week after our "one month" episode, we reach "six weeks" of HRT. This week we learn that George is not only becoming a pansy, but a pointy-eared logical vulcan, and a caveman as well, complete with body hair and toilet humor.
We can be found online at http://TransPanTastic.blogspot.com/, and you can email us at TransPanTastic@gmail.com. We would love to hear from you, so let us know what you think or what you want to hear about!
At just over a month on testosterone, George has just had his third injection. We discuss the ups and downs of the injection cycle, and how that experience has affected George so far, and how Jess is dealing with poking him in the rear on a fortnightly basis. We can be found online at http://TransPanTastic.blogspot.com/, and you can email us at TransPanTastic@gmail.com. We would love to hear from you, so let us know what you think or what you want to hear about!
Holy smallfolk, Batman! Kids make Jess swear. And to be fair, there's a lot to swear about. Extra-special needs, autism, developmental delays, occupational therapy, public school nonsense, and trying to juggle careers and transition in the meanwhile, make us very busy and occasionally frustrated.
We can be found online at http://TransPanTastic.blogspot.com/, and you can email us at TransPanTastic@gmail.com. We would love to hear from you, so let us know what you think or what you want to hear about!
We had to cut a significant amount of content from this episode, from personally identifying information to lots of throat-clearing as George's vocal cords start to thicken as a result of testosterone. And speaking of testosterone, now that the medical part of George's transition has gotten underway it's time to start informing friends and family. You never know how people will take the news that their child, friend, or sibling will be changing gender, but George's experiences so far, with the few people he's had "the talk" with, have been fairly positive.
We can be found online at http://TransPanTastic.blogspot.com/, and you can email us at TransPanTastic@gmail.com. We would love to hear from you, so let us know what you think or what you want to hear about!
We run almost a full half-hour today, as George finally had his appointment at the itsy-bitsy, teeny-weeny, yellow polka-dot gender clinic, and he finally gets testosterone. Recorded just shy of a week on T, we discuss our initial impressions of his new experience.
We can be found online at http://TransPanTastic.blogspot.com/, and you can email us at TransPanTastic@gmail.com. We would love to hear from you, so let us know what you think or what you want to hear about!
A trip to IKEA, and a bathroom snafu on the way home, made us think about how important it is to be realistic. George finds it important and helpful to see the world and his own place in it from a range of viewpoints, both to effectively present himself as he is at this early stage of transition (still pre-everything), and to map out a plan or timeline for effectively managing the process of transition when he, like many trans* folk, want it now!
We can be found online at http://TransPanTastic.blogspot.com/, and you can email us at TransPanTastic@gmail.com. We would love to hear from you, so let us know what you think or what you want to hear about!
After a quick update on George's process toward medical transition (he's still waiting on any formal medical intervention), we discuss other support that we've found for this journey, both online and in person. We can be found online at http://TransPanTastic.blogspot.com/, and you can email us at TransPanTastic@gmail.com. We would love to hear from you, so let us know what you think or what you want to hear about!
With a family of five living in one house, when one of us gets sick we all get sick. But never at the same time. First child 2 brings it home from school, then it passes from person to person, and just as one of us gets better, another gets ill. As a family that prefers natural medicine over synthetic whenever possible, we seem to be managing pretty well. We can be found online at http://TransPanTastic.blogspot.com/, and you can email us at TransPanTastic@gmail.com. We would love to hear from you, so let us know what you think or what you want to hear about!
This gender thing is complicated. The binary as a social construct is not entirely applicable to the entire range of human experience, and the terminology used within a binary system can be confusing or frustrating to individuals who don't fit their culturally expected roles. This week we discuss identity, pronouns, and how the recent shifts in George's presentation have affected the way others interact with him. We can be found online at http://TransPanTastic.blogspot.com/, and you can email us at TransPanTastic@gmail.com. We would love to hear from you, so let us know what you think or what you want to hear about!
Last week was all-about-George week, but some of you have asked about the other half of our fine team. So this week Jess talks about herself and her experience as pansexual nonbinary/genderqueer quasi-femme. We can be found online at http://TransPanTastic.blogspot.com/, and you can email us at TransPanTastic@gmail.com. We would love to hear from you, so let us know what you think or what you want to hear about!
George talks about his life so far as trans*, from childhood up to now, answering the common question, "When did you know you were transgender?" We can be found online at http://TransPanTastic.blogspot.com/, and you can email us at TransPanTastic@gmail.com. We would love to hear from you, so let us know what you think or what you want to hear about!
George finally gets to the endocrinologist, hoping to start T sooner than later, but she tells him to check with the surgeon. Surgeon? He hadn't scheduled with a surgeon yet. Whoops! Please forgive the page-flipping at the start, George is finding the right page in his notebook to read from. In other news, We got our iTunes listing. If you came here by way of iTunes, and you like what we're doing, let them know. If you came here by way of another podcatcher, or via some signal-bump on another queer site, go subscribe on iTunes anyway, because star ratings and reviews will bump us up the listings and let more people in on the fun! Go to https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/transpantastic/id629125132 to rate and review us, and we'll love you for it. We can be found online at http://TransPanTastic.blogspot.com/, and you can email us at TransPanTastic@gmail.com. We would love to hear from you, so let us know what you think or what you want to hear about!
While George waits for his appointment with the endocrinologist, he decides to visit a therapist. Family and friends are supportive, but an outside viewpoint can be helpful while we wait. The WPATH Standards Of Care and ICATH model of Informed Consent may not require therapy for gender transition anymore, but that doesn't mean that it isn't beneficial anyway.
We can be found online at http://TransPanTastic.blogspot.com/, and you can email us at TransPanTastic@gmail.com. We would love to hear from you, so let us know what you think or what you want to hear about!
Lily Tomlin, in character as Ernestine the Operator, once said "You must think HMO stands for 'Help Me Out'!" The endocrinologist's prettyboy receptionist was unhelpful and borderline obstructionist, to the point that a number of George's friends were expressing concerns about bigotry and discrimination. His insurance, however, wouldn't have any of it, and he's now (finally) on his way to an appointment with the endo.
In other news, we've decided that since we have a lot to say lately, we're going to release every week for a month or so, and then get back to every other week when things settle back down. We can be found online at http://TransPanTastic.blogspot.com/, and you can email us at TransPanTastic@gmail.com. We would love to hear from you, so let us know what you think or what you want to hear about!
We have kids. Three of them. Jess brought numbers one and three, George brought number two, to share a home for just over two years now. Numbers one and two are special-needs, and all three of them like to drive us crazy. We can be found online at http://TransPanTastic.blogspot.com/, and you can email us at TransPanTastic@gmail.com. We would love to hear from you, so let us know what you think or what you want to hear about!
Between referrals and phone calls, George has to visit "that" doctor. Nobody likes visiting "that" doctor, and men least of all, but this one turns out to be surprisingly helpful! We can be found online at http://TransPanTastic.blogspot.com/, and you can email us at TransPanTastic@gmail.com. We would love to hear from you, so let us know what you think or what you want to hear about!
In our inaugural episode, George discusses his transition, or lack thereof, so far. Also included: parenting, podcasting, and a throwaway reference to The Kills. We can be found online at http://TransPanTastic.blogspot.com/, and you can email us at TransPanTastic@gmail.com. We would love to hear from you, so let us know what you think or what you want to hear about!