Trans-Optimist Diva: Recent Episodes
Jade TL D. Sol
Talk about optimism, everyone should have this in their arsenal. I know I can’t Pollyana my way everyday but I am here to share some positivity, love, kindness and humor to everyone. Topics are ranging from self-development, dating, sexuality, leadership, travels, fashion, current events, and others. Be fierce, be fabulous, be happy and be kind!
According to Denise Mack, "simply put, living your truth means living out your joy. it means being a walking expression of what you feel within your very soul- at the core of you." The question now is, how do you live in truth?
I have asked myself this question before, I know I am not trying to exonerate myself from bad dating behaviour. I do find that some guys are full of crap and I have no problem calling them on it. Dating is hard already and to have guys who are just giving you half ass apologies, excuses and ghosting are just not nice. To be honest, it is rude and unkind. After this post, I have looked at similar topics and found Becca Rose online post , "Is It Just Me, Or Are Most Guys Full Of Crap?" (attaching the link below) and I find her very insightful.
I have my top 5 things that I find annoying with guys.
- All talk, no action
- I am open but...
- I am curious yet...
- I can't commit yet I see a social media post after 3 months that they are with someone (No, I am not being a stalker)
- I don't ghost people YET they do it.
Becca Rose: https://www.bolde.com/just-guys-full-crap/
I wanted to share this quote which relates to my podcast episode.
“To let go does not mean to get rid of. To let go means to let be. When we let be with compassion, things come and go on their own.” –Jack Kornfield
Why is it hard to let go? What are you letting go? What am I making room for? These questions brought me to do a podcast episode which is so related to my blogpost this week, "Letting Go: What am I making room for?" Letting go is difficult and you can be grief stricken with it but i believe allowing yourself to make room for things such as better communication, better support from people who love and care for you and more room for all positive things, you are welcoming happiness in your life.
I hope tonight's episode enlighten everyone. Lighten your load, guys!
Link to my blogpost:
https://www.transoptimistdiva.com/post/letting-go-what-am-i-making-room-for
I have asked myself, "Am I really the best of both worlds?" somehow that question does not sit well with me. I find myself wondering as to what it really meant. For tonight's episode I wanted to express my opinion as to why that question is something that offends me. However, let me tell you this. I celebrate me and I am happy with the authentic self am showing to the world.
Happy listening!
Be yourself. It is so important to be yourself. It means being free and open about your thoughts, ideas, opinion, sexuality, etc. By living the life how you wanted to live it, is also an important part of being you. There are three quotes that I wanted to share:
"Don't kill what's you for them."- K.K.
"Like each of us, I've been hired by the universe to be myself." - Michael Beckwith
"The privilege of a lifetime is being who you are." -Joseph Campbell
Today is BC Day and I have been living in this beautiful province for the last eleven years. I am truly amazed with the diversity and richness of cultural heritage that we have in the west coast. I am blessed.
So why British Columbia? For one, the natural beauty is vast even our license plate says it all, "Beautiful British Columbia." You have the mountain and the ocean. Truly, a very desirable place to work, study and live.
I have been doing some hikes in the last four weeks (weekends to be specific). It was fun but it was gruelling, too. I have done 7 peaks and they ranged from moderate to hard. Hiking teaches you a lesson. It is good for the soul and it might not be for everyone. I do recommend just starting with little and quick ones that you can challenge yourself. The benefits are numerous especially physically such as improved coordination.
Hiking has taught me lessons such as being prepared and being optimistic. Pushing through the summit despite the tired legs, thirst and frustrations is all part of the experience just like life.
As a transgender woman, I have been in the dating scene and it is quite a daunting task. There are many things that people need to understand about the "T" in the LGBTQ. Education is out there but I feel that it is lacking. For tonight's episode, I am discussing my top five requests when dating a trans woman. I want to be an advocate for my trans sisters out there. I'll leave you with one big word: RESPECT.
Enjoy listening! Check out my website transoptimistdiva.com
Resource:
Talulah-Eve. (July 17, 2019). What everyone should understand about dating a transgender woman.
We call self-talk our self-narrative or inner voice. We all know that we can either be a pessimist or an optimist. The positive ones can be uplifting and encouraging while the negative self-talk can be distressing. However, if you look at it, it is good to lean on that positive inner voice. There are benefits of positive self talk such as increased self-esteem and confidence, refuelled motivation and a boost in our resilience. It is hard to be doing positive self- talk all the time but how do we make it work for us? What is your self-talk right now?
How are you feeling lately?
Some of you are probably experiencing hardships and difficulties. Confusion, anxiety and fear are adding to that struggle. Some are probably recovering from a heartbreak, divorce, financial worries or job loss.
I am inspired with the song "Believe" from the soundtrack of the Barbie and The Diamond Castle. It is inspiring and that we need to tap into our inner strength. We need to have faith and courage in order to see that miracle. I hope that this topic becomes inspirational to everyone. Have faith and courage.
"Believe in all that can be,
A miracle starts whenever you dream,
Believe and sing from your heart,
You'll see your song will hold the key."
Have you experienced a tough conversation with someone? It can either be with a family member, a friend or a colleague? How did you handle it? Tension, anxiety, unrest and the current pandemic we have are making situations difficult lately. Add the stress that comes with all these things, a conversation with someone can get heated and can provoke someone. Thus, making someone reactive. Did you know that being reactive is not helpful when you want to have a meaningful conversation? There are ways to tackle a difficult conversation. Start with calling it a normal conversation, your frame of mind is going to help a lot before you start this so called "difficult conversation." I am also a learner for the tonight's episode because despite being in many difficult conversations, I still need to learn how to manage my emotions. Enjoy listening to my podcast tonight! Happy learning!
Resources: Bernstein, E. (June 14, 2020). Worried About a Difficult Conversation? Here's Advice from a Hostage Negotiator. Retrieved from: https://www.wsj.com/articles/worried-about-a-difficult-conversation-heres-advice-from-a-hostage-negotiator-11592139600 Prossack, A. (October 28, 2018). How to have difficult conversations at work. Retrieved from: https://www.forbes.com/sites/ashiraprossack1/2018/10/28/how-to-have-difficult-conversations-at-work/#7cda270510b7
Have you thought of an action or moment where you have thought that I shouldn't have done that or I should have done that, I would have and I could have achieved it.... You are living in the shoulda, woulda, coulda land. I experienced it myself and it is difficult to be reliving those moments because there is no solution to it. There is no going back. Shoulda, woulda, coulda according to Urban Dictionary, " it is of no use to dwell on what is or what should have, could have or would have happened/been done." Pretty much living in the world of regret. It is not the greatest feeling at all. There are ways to combat that. We have to remember that we have our past and we have made mistakes but how we view every decisions we make should not make us an inhabitant of the shoulda, woulda, coulda land.
Establishments are reopening. Some are still anxious to get out while some are ready to venture out there. Some are excited to have their hair done for sure or do a dine in at their favourite restaurants. However, the question boils down to are you ready to venture out there? How prepared are you? Have you done an assessment of yourself as to where you are emotionally and physically? Are you functioning at 100%, 50% or 20%? It is crucial that we attend to our emotional needs because not attending to them will cause us to be more vulnerable to isolation and depression. Stress at work and frustrations with the people around us are just compounding all these trepidations we are feeling. Take care of your physical and mental well being and among other ways to shut down all these negativities during this pandemic.
*Oh boy, wrong pronoun usage for Brene Brown, sorry!
Why is it so difficult to start something? Whether it is a project or a business venture, we always run into issues. It could be related to fear, anxiety, or afraid of committing mistake. There are many factors why we are so scared of starting something. I have recorded a podcast episode in August, 2019 but did not have the courage to publish it. I was afraid that people will make fun of me for creating a podcast because in my head, "Why would you create one?" All these stories in my head until I decided to publish my first episode two weeks ago and here I am on the third episode. We need to remember that the beginning is painful. We need to embrace the process and we need to start with baby steps. Resources: Hui, R. (April,2019). Why starting is the hardest part (and how to overcome it). Clear, J. (2012). The Habits of Successful People: They Do The Painful Things First.
As a leader, how do you cultivate a positive work environment? There are so many ways to do it such as collaboration, engagement, and communication. It can start during the orientation phase were we introduce the company’s values and goals. So many things to do it but what works for you as a leader? What are your experiences?
Right now, it is tough with what is going on with COVID-19 and other stressors in life. How do we become a light to others? How do we maintain connectedness? What are the things that you are doing right now to be occupied? So many things we have to deal with but let us not forget to let our light shine to the people around us.