Love & Life with Dr. Karin: Recent Episodes
Dr. Karin Anderson Abrell
Take charge of your thoughts, take charge of your life! On Love & Life, Dr. Karin explores research-based methods for happy, hopeful, positive living! She delves into all the good stuff—how to have true intimacy in romantic relationships, more meaningful friendships, healthier family connections, and more fulfilling careers. Each episode leaves listeners with a Love & Life Hack—a quick fix to improve your emotional wellness TODAY! Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/love-and-life-media/support
Freedom is more than political. More than physical. More than emotional. At its core, freedom requires truth.
In this episode, we explore what it means to pursue truth in an age of confusion, misinformation, and growing distrust. From medical freedom and public institutions to media, technology, and faith, we discuss why discernment has become one of the most important skills we can develop.
Our conversation examines how fear, polarization, and uncertainty in our culture today can keep us feeling isolated, alone, and stuck.
-How do we overcome those feelings?
-How can we think critically?
-What does it mean to take personal responsibility?
-What does it look like to do our own research rather than simply accepting what we're told?
Most importantly, we want to return to our biblical foundation that truth is not merely information to discover, but is found in Jesus. As Christians, our ultimate confidence is not in governments, experts, algorithms, or institutions—it is in Jesus Christ, who calls us to seek wisdom, pursue truth, and walk in freedom.
Whether you agree with every perspective shared or not, this episode is an invitation to think deeply, ask honest questions, and pursue truth with both conviction and humility.
Dr. Karin & Pastor Elliott Anderson
Website: http://loveandlifemedia.com/
Empowered Dating Playbook: smarturl.it/EmpoweredDatingBook
Instagram: @dr.karin | @pastorelliottanderson
We've all experienced moments where we feel emotionally disconnected—distant from God, withdrawn from the people we love, or simply "off" without knowing why. But what if those moments aren't meant to be ignored or pushed aside? What if they're invitations to deeper healing?
In today’s episode we’re continuing our Freedom Series by sharing ones of Elliott’s recent sermons he gave. Elliott explores why emotional engagement is essential to spiritual maturity and healthy relationships. Drawing from Scripture, psychology, and years of counseling experience, he explains how God created us as emotional beings and why suppressing, repressing, or avoiding our emotions often leads to fear, conflict, isolation, and unhealthy patterns.
He explores the difference between passive, aggressive, and healthy emotional responses, and why our thoughts, emotions, and behaviors are so deeply connected, and gains practical tools for recognizing, processing, and surrendering your emotions to God. Elliott also introduces the "R.A.C." framework—Recognize, Accept, and Consider Change—a simple yet powerful way to move from emotional reactivity toward emotional maturity.
Whether you've felt emotionally numb, overwhelmed, reactive, or simply disconnected, this episode offers a biblical vision for living with greater honesty, freedom, and intimacy—with God, with others, and with yourself.
Dr. Karin & Pastor Elliott Anderson
Website: http://loveandlifemedia.com/
Empowered Dating Playbook: smarturl.it/EmpoweredDatingBook
Instagram: @dr.karin | @pastorelliottanderson
Today Elliott sits down with longtime friends Mike and Maureen to hear their story of how alcohol gradually took control of their lives—and how Jesus ultimately set them free. What began as a search for confidence, belonging, relief, and acceptance eventually became years of addiction, brokenness, shame, and isolation.
Together they share their deeply personal journeys into alcoholism, the painful moments that forced them to confront reality, and the unexpected places where hope began to emerge. They discuss recovery, Alcoholics Anonymous, faith, community, and the life-changing difference between simply managing addiction and experiencing true spiritual freedom.
The conversation also explores marriage after recovery, family-of-origin wounds, emotional honesty, and why lasting freedom requires more than sobriety—it requires surrender. Mike and Maureen reflect on how God used community, authentic relationships, and decades of faithful growth to transform not only their lives, but also their marriage and their understanding of what it means to truly live free.
Whether you're struggling with addiction yourself, love someone who is, or simply long to experience greater freedom in your own life, this episode is a powerful reminder that no one is beyond God's reach. Healing begins when we stop hiding, invite others into our story, and allow Christ to do what only He can do.
Dr. Karin & Pastor Elliott Anderson
Website: http://loveandlifemedia.com/
Empowered Dating Playbook: smarturl.it/EmpoweredDatingBook
Instagram: @dr.karin | @pastorelliottanderson
Freedom is one of our culture’s most celebrated ideals—but what if we’ve misunderstood what freedom actually means?
In this episode, Dr. Karin and Pastor Elliott explore the profound connection between truth and freedom through the words of Jesus: “The truth will set you free.” Together they discuss why genuine freedom is never simply the ability to do whatever we want, but the ability to live in alignment with what is true.
Drawing from Scripture, psychology, marriage counseling, addiction recovery, and current cultural conversations, they examine how truth shapes healthy relationships, why authenticity requires humility, and how freedom flourishes when it’s rooted in God’s design rather than personal preference.
They also discuss the importance of speaking truth with grace, navigating differing perspectives without sacrificing conviction, protecting meaningful relationships through honesty, and why losing our commitment to objective truth ultimately leads to greater confusion rather than greater freedom.
Whether you’re wrestling with relationships, faith, culture, or your own personal growth, this conversation offers a thoughtful reminder that the deepest freedom isn’t found in following every desire—it’s found in following the One who is the Way, the Truth, and the Life.
Dr. Karin & Pastor Elliott Anderson
Website: http://loveandlifemedia.com/
Empowered Dating Playbook: smarturl.it/EmpoweredDatingBook
Instagram: @dr.karin | @pastorelliottanderson
What does it really mean to be free?
As America celebrates it’s 250th anniversary, this conversation looks beyond political freedom to explore a much deeper question: What does genuine freedom look like in everyday life?
In this episode, Elliott kicks off a new series on freedom by examining the difference between being free from something and being free for something. Drawing from Scripture, psychology, history, and personal experience, Elliott discusses why freedom isn’t simply the absence of restraint—it’s the ability to become the person God created you to be.
Elliott explores the relationship between discipline and freedom, the hidden ways fear, shame, addiction, unhealthy habits, and limiting beliefs can quietly enslave us, and why true freedom always requires purpose, responsibility, and intentionality. He also discuss how our thoughts shape our actions, why what fills our minds ultimately shapes our lives, and how spiritual practices create the foundation for lasting transformation.
Rather than seeing freedom as permission to do whatever we want, this conversation reframes it as an invitation to pursue what gives life—to love more deeply, serve more faithfully, and live with greater joy, peace, and hope.
Whether you’re wrestling with anxiety, addiction, unhealthy patterns, discouragement, or simply wondering what it means to experience the abundant life Jesus promised, this episode offers a practical and hope-filled vision of freedom that reaches far beyond circumstances.
Dr. Karin & Pastor Elliott Anderson
Website: http://loveandlifemedia.com/
Empowered Dating Playbook: smarturl.it/EmpoweredDatingBook
Instagram: @dr.karin | @pastorelliottanderson
Dr. Karin and Pastor Elliott are traveling this week so we are throwing it back to episode 292: How Conflict Cultivates Intimacy. We hope this episode from the Love & Life archives will encourage you in this season of life!
__________________________
We all know conflict is unavoidable. And, it’s certainly inherent to marriage.
In the fourth session of Elliott’s premarital curriculum, couples take a deep dive into all aspects of conflict. We know it’s inevitable, but can conflict actually strengthen our bond and cultivate intimacy?
Specifically we address:
- Why does conflict happen?
- When is it most likely to occur?
- When disputes arise, what’s really going on beneath the surface?
- Methods for disagreeing with fairness and maturity.
- Working with your own conflict style and that of your partner.
- How conflict CAN bring comfort!
Learn how our differences CAN strengthen your connection!
Dr. Karin & Pastor Elliott Anderson
Website: http://loveandlifemedia.com/
Empowered Dating Playbook: smarturl.it/EmpoweredDatingBook
Instagram: @dr.karin | @pastorelliottanderson
What do we do with the wounds left by our fathers?
Father’s Day can be beautiful, meaningful, and full of gratitude. But for many, it can also stir up pain, absence, anger, grief, and longing. Not everyone had a father who was present, protective, tender, emotionally available, or safe.
In this episode, I’m joined by Dr. Michelle Watson Canfield to discuss the critical importance of the emotional connection fathers have with their daughters and how this role impacts a daughter’s mental health, academic success, and future relationships. Dr. Michelle shares practical tools like the H.E.A.L. model for healing father wounds—honestly facing pain, expressing it, allowing others to walk with you, and choosing forgiveness. Michelle shares powerful stories of men opening their hearts, the impact of anger on daughters, and the biblical command for fathers to turn their hearts to their children.
We break down:
- Why father-child closeness correlates with better grades, less anxiety, and healthier relationships.
- How Christian faith, science, and research intersect to explain the vital importance of fatherly love.
- The unique vulnerabilities and spiritual battles women face in singleness, waiting, and longing for divine love.
- The significance of surrendering unmet longings at the altar—trusting God's perfect timing and His divine plan.
- Practical steps for women and men to nurture healing, forge reconciling conversations, and bridge gaps in estranged relationships.
Together we explore why the father-child bond matters so much, how emotional absence or anger can shape identity, and why daughters often carry wounds that continue to affect confidence, relationships, faith, and adulthood. We also discuss the importance of fathers initiating repair, the power of humility, and why a simple apology is not the same as true heart change.
Our goal in this conversation is not to minimize pain, excuse harm, or offer easy answers. Instead, we want to offer a path toward healing—honestly facing the hurt, expressing the pain, allowing others to walk with us, and learning what it means to release the things we were never meant to carry.
If Father’s Day is complicated for you, this episode is an invitation to name the wound, grieve what was missing, and begin moving toward hope.
Dr. Michelle Watson Canfield
Website | drmichellewatson.com
Facebook | facebook.com/drmichellewatson
Instagram | instagram.com/michellejwatson and instagram.com/thedadwhispererpodcast
X: x.com/@mwatsonphd
The Dad Whisperer Podcast: Apple Podcasts + Spotify
YouTube | @thedadwhisperer
Dr. Karin & Pastor Elliott Anderson
Website: http://loveandlifemedia.com/
Empowered Dating Playbook: smarturl.it/EmpoweredDatingBook
Instagram: @dr.karin | @pastorelliottanderson
What if many of the struggles we face aren’t determined by our circumstances—but by the beliefs we’ve built around them?
In this thought-provoking conversation, Elliott and Tim explore the fascinating connection between neuroscience, faith, and everyday life through insights from Dr. Clint Steele’s book 101 Brain Hacks to Prevent and Even Reverse Dementia. What begins as a discussion about brain health quickly expands into a deeper conversation about neuroplasticity, limiting beliefs, gratitude, habit formation, technology, and the power of reframing our experiences.
Together they unpack how beliefs influence thoughts, thoughts influence actions, and actions ultimately reinforce the stories we tell ourselves about who we are and how the world works. From catastrophizing and negative self-talk to social media addiction, generational differences, and the importance of healthy routines, this episode examines how our minds can either trap us in fear or help move us toward freedom.
Drawing from both scientific research and biblical wisdom, Elliott and Tim discuss practical ways to challenge unhealthy thought patterns, develop life-giving habits, strengthen relationships, and cultivate a mindset rooted in hope rather than fear.
If you’ve ever felt stuck, overwhelmed, anxious about the future, or trapped in cycles you can’t seem to break, this conversation offers practical encouragement and a powerful reminder:
The thoughts you practice today help shape the person you become tomorrow.
Dr. Karin & Pastor Elliott Anderson
Website: http://loveandlifemedia.com/
Empowered Dating Playbook: smarturl.it/EmpoweredDatingBook
Instagram: @dr.karin | @pastorelliottanderson
Today we are getting back to basics! One of the reasons I started Love & Life was to share my journey to finding love, not settling along the way, and building a community to support other women in similar situations. So here to discuss her own journey finding love later, I'm joined by Dr. Michelle Watson Canfield.
What do you do when the thing you’ve prayed for never seems to arrive?
For many single women, the journey can be filled with confusing messages, unwanted advice, and painful assumptions. You’re told you’re too picky. Too independent. Too successful. Too intimidating. And as the years pass, those voices can only get louder.
Dr. Michelle Watson Canfield shares her story today on how she too (like me) found love later in life. We discuss singleness, waiting, healing, loneliness, and the surprising ways God works in seasons that don’t unfold according to our timelines.
Together we share our stories of becoming brides later in life—after decades of unanswered questions, surrendered dreams, heartbreak, personal growth, and learning to trust God when the future remained uncertain. We also explore the pressure many women feel to settle, the fear of missing out on marriage and motherhood, and the challenge of keeping hope alive when life looks very different than expected.
From unhealthy relationships and healing old wounds to learning the difference between loneliness and wholeness, we discuss what it means to build a meaningful life while still carrying unfulfilled longings. They reflect on the importance of knowing yourself, refusing to settle for a relationship that isn’t right, and trusting that God’s timing—while often difficult—is never wasted.
Whether you’re single, dating, divorced, widowed, or simply carrying a dream that has yet to be fulfilled, this episode is an invitation to keep your heart open, continue growing, and trust that God is still writing your story.
Dr. Michelle Watson Canfield
Website | drmichellewatson.com
Facebook | facebook.com/drmichellewatson
Instagram | instagram.com/michellejwatson and instagram.com/thedadwhispererpodcast
X: x.com/@mwatsonphd
The Dad Whisperer Podcast: Apple Podcasts + Spotify
YouTube | @thedadwhisperer
Dr. Karin & Pastor Elliott Anderson
Website: http://loveandlifemedia.com/
Empowered Dating Playbook: smarturl.it/EmpoweredDatingBook
Instagram: @dr.karin | @pastorelliottanderson
How much influence did your siblings really have on the person you became?
Most of us spend years examining the impact our parents had on our lives, but what about our sibling dynamics or lack thereof for only children? How much of your identity, your confidence, your relationships, your career choices, and even your marriage were shaped by the siblings who grew up alongside you?
In this follow-up conversation on birth order and family systems, Karin and Elliott explore the often-overlooked influence siblings have on one another—from childhood decision-making and identity formation to dating patterns, marriage dynamics, leadership styles, and lifelong relationships.
Together they discuss why younger siblings often measure themselves against older siblings, how brothers and sisters unintentionally shape one another’s interests and ambitions, and why the same family can produce children who are remarkably different from one another. They also examine the role birth order may play in friendships, marriage compatibility, conflict resolution, loyalty, and the ways we pursue connection.
The conversation moves beyond birth order stereotypes and into a deeper exploration of personality, family systems, trauma, attachment, and the relational patterns we carry into adulthood. Why do some people walk away from unhealthy relationships while others struggle to let go? How do our childhood roles continue to influence our marriages decades later? And how much of who we are was shaped by the people who came before us?
If you’ve ever wondered why you respond the way you do in relationships, why certain family dynamics still affect you today, or how your siblings helped shape the person you’ve become, this episode offers insight, self-reflection, and a deeper appreciation for the family stories that continue to influence us.
Dr. Karin & Pastor Elliott Anderson
Website: http://loveandlifemedia.com/
Empowered Dating Playbook: smarturl.it/EmpoweredDatingBook
Instagram: @dr.karin | @pastorelliottanderson
In this conversation, Karin and Elliott’s oldest brother, Dr. Warren Anderson, joins Elliott and Producer Tim for a personal discussion about family dynamics and birth order primarily from the viewpoint of firstborns.
Elliott, Warren, and Producer Tim unpack the psychology behind birth order theory, sibling identity formation, and the different ways children adapt to pressure, conflict, expectations, and approval. They explore the tension between responsibility and freedom, leadership and loneliness, structure and authenticity, and how even loving families unintentionally shape emotional patterns that follow us into adulthood.
From academic pressure and rebellion to music, ministry, vocation, leadership, marriage, and emotional burnout, this episode wrestles honestly with the complexity of becoming yourself while still carrying the influence of the people who raised you.
So if you’ve ever felt the weight of expectations, struggled to understand your family dynamics, wrestled with leadership fatigue, or wondered why certain emotional patterns keep repeating in your life and relationships, this episode offers language, insight, humor, and hope for understanding yourself more clearly.
Dr. Karin & Pastor Elliott Anderson
Website: http://loveandlifemedia.com/
Empowered Dating Playbook: smarturl.it/EmpoweredDatingBook
Instagram: @dr.karin | @pastorelliottanderson
Why do we compare ourselves to other people so constantly? Why do some relationships inspire us while others leave us feeling anxious, defeated, insecure, or exhausted?
In this episode, we unpack the psychology of comparison, competition, conformity, and identity—and how these forces quietly shape the way we move through everyday life.
Drawing from Elliott’s sermon this past Sunday, which explored the relationship between Mary and Martha from scripture while tying in the work of social psychologist Leon Festinger’s on group dynamics and social comparison theory, we explore the tension between authenticity and belonging. Why do we feel the need to fit in? Why do we instinctively measure ourselves against other people? And how do those comparisons either motivate growth or slowly destroy our peace?
Together we wrestle with the emotional pull of social media, family systems, personality differences, sibling dynamics, performance culture, and the subtle ways comparison impacts our confidence, relationships, spirituality, and mental health. We discuss the difference between healthy inspiration and destructive self-condemnation, why some people shut down while others become hyper-competitive, and how dysregulation often reveals what’s happening underneath the surface.
If you’ve ever felt trapped in comparison, discouraged by someone else’s success, exhausted trying to measure up, or disconnected from your authentic self, this conversation is an invitation to slow down, become aware of what’s shaping you, and re-center yourself in truth rather than performance.
Dr. Karin & Pastor Elliott Anderson
Website: http://loveandlifemedia.com/
Empowered Dating Playbook: smarturl.it/EmpoweredDatingBook
Instagram: @dr.karin | @pastorelliottanderson
Today we dive into what is commonly known as the “placebo effect” and the power our brain has to shape our beliefs and reality.
And of course the way we experience our reality shapes our identity, relationships, and the stories we tell ourselves.
What happens when your expectations begin shaping your reality? Can the mind actually influence pain, healing, confidence, and even the way we experience love and suffering? And what do the placebo and nocebo effects reveal about the way we move through life?
In this conversation, we unpack the psychology behind belief—how our thoughts, labels, and internal narratives can either move us toward freedom or quietly trap us in cycles of fear, dysfunction, addiction, and relational pain.
Are we becoming what we believe about ourselves?
Together we explore how expectation impacts everything from mental health to marriage, addiction recovery, emotional resilience, and spiritual growth. We discuss the tension between acknowledging pain without becoming defined by it, why suffering can either transform us or imprison us, and how unhealthy relationships are often sustained by hope rooted more in fantasy than reality.
If you’ve ever struggled with negative thinking, unhealthy relational patterns, addiction, hopelessness, or feeling trapped by labels placed on you by others—or by yourself—this episode is an invitation to rethink the narratives shaping your life.
Dr. Karin & Pastor Elliott Anderson
Website: http://loveandlifemedia.com/
Empowered Dating Playbook: smarturl.it/EmpoweredDatingBook
Instagram: @dr.karin | @pastorelliottanderson
We’ve all been there. Done the work. Completed the hard thing. Only to find that it seemingly didn’t matter. The outcome we hoped for fell short.
It can be devastating.
I did all the right things, didn’t I?
We can feel shame or even anger.
So what do you do when the pursuit for success, influence, and affirmation becomes a trap feeding ego, pride, and control? How do we stay rooted in truth—and find peace amidst life's chaos?
In this episode, we dive into the mindset shifts needed to resist the ego-driven temptation to seek external validation.
Join us as we explore the deep connection between authenticity and spiritual freedom—why even Jesus was despised when he healed and how embracing rejection can lead to real influence. We break down how ego, pride, and the illusion of control sabotage growth, and how real resilience is found in surrendering these false gods to God's sovereignty.
If you've ever wrestled with feeling unseen or been disappointed when results don’t match your expectations, may this episode help support you in your call to authenticity. Remember, true fulfillment isn't about external achievements but aligning mind, body, and spirit in God's purpose. Tune in as we navigate together transformative insights that challenge the way we see success, rejection, and growth.
Dr. Karin & Pastor Elliott Anderson
Website: http://loveandlifemedia.com/
Empowered Dating Playbook: smarturl.it/EmpoweredDatingBook
Instagram: @dr.karin | @pastorelliottanderson
I think we can all agree that things feel heavy right now.
Wars. Culture Wars. The politicization of our health and, well, everything! It never stops.
And when things feel heavy and like there’s chaos all around us it can feel disempowering.
What can I actually do? What do I have the power to change? What can I turn to?
In today’s episode Karin and Elliott wrestle with these questions we all face. They talk us through various situations and examples of the ways we can find ourselves carrying the weight of the world on our shoulders and feeling unable to make a real change.
They take us through various reframes and help us see underlying motivations for these various issues. What role does fear play? What about trying to control people and situations around us? What role does faith play? Is prayer enough? What does it look like to be grounded?
Join Karin and Elliott as they wrestle through these issues and offer us some perspective, guidance, and soul care as we navigate the world around us.
Dr. Karin & Pastor Elliott Anderson
Website: http://loveandlifemedia.com/
Empowered Dating Playbook: smarturl.it/EmpoweredDatingBook
Instagram: @dr.karin | @pastorelliottanderson
Wrestling with addictions is a part of the human experience we all face — to our phones, screens, routines, and even good things. In this episode, we explore the neurological, spiritual, and psychological roots of addiction, revealing how everything from our experiences, wiring, culture, faith (or lack of it) can shape our lives, minds, and who we are.
Join us as we unpack the science behind behavioral addictions—how habits like compulsive phone use mimic drug withdrawal in the brain—and why their physiological effects are much more similar than you might think. We break down the latest in mental health language shifts from "substance abuse" to "substance use," and delve into the powerful role of language in destigmatizing struggles we all face.
You'll discover how addiction isn’t just about substances—it’s intertwined with human biology and spiritual longing, revealing how dependency can become both a trap and a pathway to spiritual intimacy.
We'll explore topics including:
- the neurochemical impact of screens
- the gut-brain connection affecting mental health
- balancing spiritual practice and relationship
If you or someone you love struggles with addiction—whether substance-related, behavioral, or even spiritual—this episode offers insights and practical encouragement. We hope it offers support for anyone seeking to understand themselves better, explore faith, or deepen their dependence on Christ while understanding the biochemical and psychological mechanisms that drive compulsive patterns.
In a culture obsessed with control and instant gratification, discovering the true source of lasting peace and joy might just be a dependency worth cultivating. Tune in and find out how embracing dependency on Jesus can transform addiction into devotion.
Dr. Karin & Pastor Elliott Anderson
Website: http://loveandlifemedia.com/
Empowered Dating Playbook: smarturl.it/EmpoweredDatingBook
Instagram: @dr.karin | @pastorelliottanderson
Elliott and I reflect on Easter and how we can integrate the miracle of Christ’s resurrection into our daily lives.
We talk about the freedom that comes from surrendering to Christ’s calling and how we can submit to His expectations of us.
Spoiler alert: this surrendering and submitting stuff goes against our natural urges—which is why we need supernatural help!
We then move into sharing real-life stories and practical applications on how to move through relationships and hardships that come our way. What do you do when even family or friends disagree with what you believe God is calling you to do?
Whether you're wrestling with doubts, facing difficult scenarios, or simply seeking fresh motivation to follow Jesus with courage and joy, you'll leave inspired to embrace the foolishness of the Gospel and walk boldly in the resurrected life.
Dr. Karin & Pastor Elliott Anderson
Website: http://loveandlifemedia.com/
Empowered Dating Playbook: smarturl.it/EmpoweredDatingBook
Instagram: @dr.karin | @pastorelliottanderson
Take charge of your thoughts—even when it feels like you can’t change them.
Elliott and Karin unpack the powerful belief that keeps so many of us stuck: “I can’t change my thinking.” They explore how our brains are wired with a negative bias—and how that wiring can quietly shape our beliefs, relationships, and sense of hope.
What are you telling yourself on repeat?
•I can’t change.
•I’ll never get past this.
•This is just who I am.
•There’s no way through this.
These thoughts don’t just sit in your mind—they take root. They shape your identity, your relationships, and your ability to move forward.
But what if that belief isn’t true?
In this episode, Karin and Elliott explore the following:
•Why your brain defaults to negativity (and how to challenge it)
•How “stuck thinking” becomes a false identity
•The difference between “I can’t” and “this is hard”
•How to begin rewiring your thoughts through small, intentional shifts
•Why change often starts outside the biggest problem you’re facing
•How fear and past wounds keep us from honest, healing conversations
This conversation blends neuroscience, faith, and real-life counseling insight to help you move from feeling trapped…to taking your first steps toward freedom.
You are not as stuck as you think.
Dr. Karin & Pastor Elliott Anderson
Website: http://loveandlifemedia.com/
Empowered Dating Playbook: smarturl.it/EmpoweredDatingBook
Instagram: @dr.karin | @pastorelliottanderson
After a few months off, Elliott is back! And he's just released his newest novel: When Love Transforms
Today we discuss insights on marriage, crisis management, and the transformative power of faith. We go in depth on his latest novel, personal challenges, and the importance of surrendering to God's plan in life's trials.
You can purchase Elliott's new book When Love Transforms here: https://a.co/d/0hbtoaUG
Dr. Karin & Pastor Elliott AndersonWebsite: http://loveandlifemedia.com/Empowered Dating Playbook: smarturl.it/EmpoweredDatingBookInstagram: @dr.karin | @pastorelliottanderson
We’re back with The Smart Stepmom, Laura Petherbridge! We continue our discussion about stepfamily life by picking up where we left off in part 1.
Specifically, Laura and I discuss the following:
- Current trends with stepfamilies.
- For example, the term “bonus mom” is now commonly used instead of “stepmother.” Is this helpful or hurtful?
-
Custody changes—moving from mothers having full custody to 50/50 arrangements.
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Why children tend to have a harder time connecting with stepmothers as opposed to stepfathers.
- The many stepfamilies in the Bible and how Laura believes God views stepfamilies.
Whether you’re personally part of a stepfamily or not, you’ll be blessed by Laura’s warmth, wit, and wisdom. Please join us!
Laura Petherbridge, The Smart Stepmom
Website: https://www.thesmartstepmom.com/
Dr. Karin & Pastor Elliott Anderson
Website: http://loveandlifemedia.com/
Empowered Dating Playbook: smarturl.it/EmpoweredDatingBook
Instagram: @dr.karin | @pastorelliottanderson
I’m so pleased to introduce my personal stepmom coach, Laura Petherbridge, to the Love & Life family!
Laura is an author, speaker, and coach. She specializes in supporting clients as they navigate the complexities of modern relationships.
She works with couples, women, and single adults sharing with them what God has taught her as a childless stepmom.
Laura shares truth from
Scripture, along with wisdom from personal challenges.
In part one of our conversation, Laura and I discuss all things stepfamily.
Specifically, we tackle the following:
• Expectations—those we realize we have and those that surprise us.
• How bio parents perceive their children vs. how stepparents see their children.
• The most important thing stepparents can do to help the family gel.
• What bio parents need to understand about their spouse’s experience as a stepmother or stepfather.
Join us for part 1 of our deep dive into stepfamily life!
Laura Petherbridge, The Smart StepmomWebsite: https://www.thesmartstepmom.com/Dr. Karin & Pastor Elliott AndersonWebsite: http://loveandlifemedia.com/Empowered Dating Playbook: smarturl.it/EmpoweredDatingBookInstagram: @dr.karin | @pastorelliottanderson
I’m thrilled to welcome back to Love & Life, Jenna McCarthy. Her newest book was just released and is co-authored with Dr. Pierre Kory called: The War on Chlorine Dioxide: The Medicine That Could End Medicine. She’s also the author of Yankee Doodle Soup for the Fringy, Tin Foil Hat-Wearing Conspiracy Theorist’s Soul and The War on Ivermectin: The Medicine that Saved Millions and Could Have Ended the Pandemic with Dr. Pierre Kory.
Picking up where we left off, we continue to process our parallel journeys navigating a country and world that we don’t even recognize anymore.
- How do you process everything that’s culturally and politically these last few years?
- How do you navigate the isolation you can feel from family and friends?
- What does moving forward look like? What can we do?
- What are practical ways we can push back and find trustworthy voices? And how does Substack play into all of this?
We discuss this and so much on the show today!
Jenna McCarthy
Substack: https://jennasside.rocks/
Dr. Karin & Pastor Elliott Anderson
Website: http://loveandlifemedia.com/
Empowered Dating Playbook: smarturl.it/EmpoweredDatingBook
Instagram: @dr.karin | @pastorelliottanderson
Valentine’s Day is right around the corner. It’s a holiday that brings up a lot of emotions for people whether you’re single or not.
Elliott is back today to discuss various strategies and modalities for approaching Valentine’s Day that honors our past and encourages us to embrace growth and change regardless of our relationship status.
He specifically shares his experiences working with both students and therapy clients, highlighting how our formative years and relationships shape our pursuit of love. Elliott emphasizes that healing those wounds can lead to healthier and more fulfilling connections.
So if the idea of love to you feels complicated, chaotic, or even painful, this discussion dives into how you can rewire your attachment style, nurture genuine intimacy, and find peace regardless of your relationship history or status.
Ultimately, we hope no matter what your relationship status is this Valentine’s Day, that this episode gives you practical steps to finding healing, fulfillment, and peace.
Dr. Karin & Pastor Elliott Anderson
Website: http://loveandlifemedia.com/
Empowered Dating Playbook: smarturl.it/EmpoweredDatingBook
Instagram: @dr.karin | @pastorelliottanderson
Today I’m speaking with Rob Pikula, who I met at the Indiana Children’s Health Defense. Rob is an advocate for medical freedom and shares his experience dealing with many personal trials and how he overcame those hardships through the power of shifting his mindset, understanding his triggers, and learning to live presently.
Rob shares how his health freedom advocacy began with a life-altering event—a heart attack that revealed to him the limitations of conventional medicine. After hitting various dead ends within the current medical system, Rob sought alternative treatments and started to question the medical protocols that had been imposed on him. This pivotal moment set him on a path of research and self-discovery, leading to a deeper understanding of health and wellness.
Rob’s journey is a powerful testament to the importance of health freedom, personal empowerment, and the role of mindset in shaping our realities. May you be empowered by Rob’s story and encouraged to take control of your own mental, physical, emotional, and spiritual health as you listen.
Rob Pikula
Website: https://www.consciousalchemistcoach.com/
Book: https://www.amazon.com/Our-Children-Come-First-Responsibility/dp/147919994X/ref=sr_1_1?crid=2JQ8AWF232S6Q&dib=eyJ2IjoiMSJ9.FsSxcgpOoKK3fSt9j5Hc9A.5n6kmklt_nD8beG85JML9dQOL5UNYGJu0LlMEl1Mrr0&dib_tag=se&keywords=book+robert+pikula+our+children+come+first&qid=1769802865&sprefix=book+robert+pikula+our+children+come+first%2Caps%2C135&sr=8-1
Dr. Karin & Pastor Elliott Anderson
Website: http://loveandlifemedia.com/
Empowered Dating Playbook: smarturl.it/EmpoweredDatingBook
Instagram: @dr.karin | @pastorelliottanderson
Today I’m joined again by Dr. M. Nathaniel Mead and Dave Wayne as we continue the conversation Dr. Mead and I began in Ep. 391 Covid: Find out What REALLY Happened on The Covid Index.
In this conversation, we dive into the ways censorship, corporate influence, and technological manipulation have distorted evidence-based medicine, suppressed free speech, and accelerated societal fragmentation. We also discuss the profound impact of mass formation and psychological manipulation during COVID — from the suppression of dissenting voices to the rapid artificialization of lifestyles, food, and even human identity.
We break down:
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The decline of genuine science and the rise of scientism during the pandemic
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The dangers of centralized media, censorship, and reliance on AI for knowledge
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How artificial environments, chemical exposure, and disconnection from nature are subtly rewiring human biology and psychology
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The importance of reclaiming personal autonomy, free speech, and practices like mindfulness
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Practical steps to awaken critical thinking and restore connection to natural and spiritual truths
Why does all this matter? Because the erosion of free speech, personal sovereignty, and authentic science isn't just about politics—it's about the very fabric of human liberty. If we don’t wake up now, we risk losing our capacity to discern truth and to live freely in a rapidly transforming world.
Thank you for joining us!
To learn more about about Dr. M. Nathaniel Mead's work at The Covid Index please visit covidindex.science
David Wayne, BSN-RN, CPHC
https://www.americaoutloud.news/author/david-wayne/
Dr. Karin & Pastor Elliott Anderson
Website: http://loveandlifemedia.com/
Empowered Dating Playbook: smarturl.it/EmpoweredDatingBook
Instagram: @dr.karin | @pastorelliottanderson
We are continuing to discuss what real change looks like in 2026.
We start off in the middle of a Midwest snowstorm, which takes out Karin’s power mid-recording, but Elliott and Tim pick up the conversation and continue to discuss how Elliott’s clients have embraced his A.C.E. acronyms from Ep. 390.
The conversation leads into what do we do when life happens? How do we stay present and grounded in the midst of chaos? How can we reframe difficult circumstances? How do we battle the internal dialogue we can all find ourselves struggling with? These patterns, beliefs, and habits that are ingrained into us. What does real transformation look like?
Elliott gives practical application that gives us a framework for how to face these challenges and keep moving us forward!
This is the time of the year when New Year’s Resolutions start to drop off. May this conversation help give you the tools and belief to keep going! You can take charge of your thoughts and take charge of your life in 2026!
Dr. Karin & Pastor Elliott Anderson
Website: http://loveandlifemedia.com/
Empowered Dating Playbook: smarturl.it/EmpoweredDatingBook
Instagram: @dr.karin | @pastorelliottanderson
Last November, I attended the Children's Health Defense Annual Conference in Austin, and I was able to connect with so many medical freedom activists and dissidents and so many people who are still concerned about COVID. Yes, even 6 years later - we need answers!
At the conference, I got connected with The Covid Index, founded by researcher M. Nathaniel Mead, MSc, PhD.
Since the late 1990s, Dr. Mead has authored over 55 peer-reviewed scientific papers, contributed to numerous books, served as an editor for two peer-reviewed scientific journals, and worked as an integrative-medicine research consultant. Mead is also the lead author on several peer-reviewed papers on the Covid-19 mRNA vaccines, co-authored with Drs. Peter McCullough, Stephanie Seneff, Jessica Rose, Paul Marik, William Makis, and other notable scientists.
He joins me on the program today to discuss where we are today and the work that The Covid Index is doing to grow and build an expansive dictionary of evidence to the many falsehoods that were pushed by officials and media outlets alike during the COVID-19 experience.
To learn more about The Covid Index please visit covidindex.science
Dr. Karin & Pastor Elliott Anderson
Website: http://loveandlifemedia.com/
Empowered Dating Playbook: smarturl.it/EmpoweredDatingBook
Instagram: @dr.karin | @pastorelliottanderson
On the heels of last week’s episode, we are continuing to discuss how to thrive in 2026!
Today, Elliott and Karin dive into various modalities to help us strategize and take charge.
They explore the importance of concrete planning in areas like sleep, nutrition, and personal habits, emphasizing the power of self-control and conscientiousness.
Elliott takes us through two acronyms that he uses in his personality class he’s teaching this spring:
A.C.E.
- Accept, Change, Engage
- Acknowledge, Consider, Emote
Karin then walks us through her practice this year, highlighting a fruit of the Spirit each month and the habits, practices, and mindset changes that can come from it.
Finally, the conversation also touches on recent changes in health recommendations and their impact on current and future generations.
Join them as they share personal insights, practical strategies, and the significance of aligning habits with values for a healthier, more intentional life in 2026!
Dr. Karin & Pastor Elliott Anderson
Website: http://loveandlifemedia.com/
Empowered Dating Playbook: smarturl.it/EmpoweredDatingBook
Instagram: @dr.karin | @pastorelliottanderson
Happy New Year!
As we move into 2026, it’s that time of year where many of us take time to pause, reflect, and set goals for the upcoming year.
Transformation is something that takes time. It’s change that comes from the inside out. But where do we start? At times, it can feel daunting and overwhelming to even know where to begin.
So today, we want to discuss various ways we can grow personally, spiritually, and within our relationships.
- What role does reflection play in setting goals for the new year?
- How do we build habits when our days already feel too full?
- What does it mean to be intentional in 2026?
- How do all of these areas impact not only ourselves but the relationships around us?
Take charge of your new year and build habits, routines, and systems that will last! We pray that no matter how 2026 finds you, this year would be one of transformation for you. Thank you for listening.
Dr. Karin & Pastor Elliott Anderson
Website: http://loveandlifemedia.com/
Empowered Dating Playbook: smarturl.it/EmpoweredDatingBook
Instagram: @dr.karin | @pastorelliottanderson
Estranged. Cut off. Disengaged.
Whatever you want to call it—it’s trending! Going “no contact” has become so ubiquitous Oprah covered it in a recent podcast episode, Mel Robbins just wrote a NY Times article about it, and it’s the subject of several books and thousands of TikToks.
What’s going on? Why are so many adult children cutting off their parents and families?
Is Going No Contact a difficult, yet imperative, decision to protect oneself from a toxic family?
Or, does it reflect an unwillingness to navigate the messiness of adult family relationships, because, of course, it’s way easier to solely interact with likeminded friends.
Is it self care or self sabotage?
Elliott and I delve into the myriad elements surrounding this phenomenon, including:
1️⃣The increase of family disengagement Elliott has witnessed in his clinical practice.
2️⃣The Going No Contact debate—does it facilitate or impede our emotional development and maturity?
3️⃣How “self-help culture” has introduced therapeutic terms into our everyday lexicon—and the ramifications therein.
4️⃣Expanding definitions of concepts such as “toxic,” “narcissist,” and “gaslighting.”
5️⃣The grief inherent to estranged families.
6️⃣The role of social media in fueling this trend.
7️⃣Suggestions for reunification—should children decide they’d like to.
According to a study cited on Oprah’s podcast, 30% of Americans have a family member who has disengaged. So, it’s likely this impacts you or someone you love.
If you know someone who “Won’t Be Home For Christmas,” this conversation is for you!
Dr. Karin & Pastor Elliott AndersonWebsite: http://loveandlifemedia.com/Empowered Dating Playbook: smarturl.it/EmpoweredDatingBookInstagram: @dr.karin | @pastorelliottanderson
We’ve been in a series about how we handle family dynamics during the holidays. In past episodes, we’ve talked about staying present vs. distracted, connected vs. isolated, all while staying authentic to who we are as individuals. Today, we continue the conversation with some practical strategies for dealing with these conflicts.
- What do we do if a family member continues to make jabs at us (no, not that jab!)?
- How do family systems play into these dynamics?
- What roles can we play as individuals in our unique family system?
- What if family feels threatened by our own personal growth and development?
- These topics and so much more!
We hope today’s episode will leave you feeling empowered with practical strategies as you head into the holiday season with your loved ones!
Dive headfirst into the complexities of family dynamics, particularly focusing on estrangement and holiday conflicts.
They discuss the importance of setting boundaries, the role of humor in easing tensions, and the challenges of confrontation within family settings.
Dr. Karin & Pastor Elliott Anderson
Website: http://loveandlifemedia.com/
Empowered Dating Playbook: smarturl.it/EmpoweredDatingBook
Instagram: @dr.karin | @pastorelliottanderson
Today we have Liz James from Blessed By His Blood on the podcast to discuss the ways in which the blood donation industry isn’t everything most of us thought it was. As it turns out, there is a lot of money involved, and as with most things, everything is not as it seems. In response to this, Liz started Blessed By His Blood after she felt God leading her in a new direction in the wake of 2020.
We hope today’s conversation will inform and empower you to take charge of your health and give you some tools and insights to make informed decisions about your health care.
Blessed By His Blood
Website: https://www.blessedbyhisblood.com/
X: http://x.com/blessedBHB
Apply for Membership: https://www.blessedbyhisblood.com/apply/
Donate: https://www.blessedbyhisblood.com/#donate
Senate Hearings Referenced in Interview
Texas 2025 House Hearing on SB125: https://rumble.com/v6ub183-texas-state-house-hearing-may-2025.html
Texas 225 Senate Hearing on SB125: https://rumble.com/v6smf15-texas-state-capitol-march-2025.html
Dr. Karin & Pastor Elliott Anderson
Website: http://loveandlifemedia.com/
Empowered Dating Playbook: smarturl.it/EmpoweredDatingBook
Instagram: @dr.karin | @pastorelliottanderson
Today we have some listeners questions related to navigating the complexities of family and relational dynamics during the holidays.
- How do we relate with family members who are takers?
- How do we grieve well with those who are experiencing grief during the holidays?
Elliott shares tools and practical tips for how to navigate givers and takers in family relationships, the importance of self-reflection, and how to embrace grief during the holidays.
Be blessed as you listen and please let us know if you have more questions related to the holidays! We’d love to address them on the podcast for you.
Dr. Karin & Pastor Elliott Anderson
Website: http://loveandlifemedia.com/
Empowered Dating Playbook: smarturl.it/EmpoweredDatingBook
Instagram: @dr.karin | @pastorelliottanderson
I connected with React 19 at the Children’s Health Defense Conference in Austin earlier this month.
I wanted to invite some of its members to share their stories of COVID shot injuries.
To this day, most of the public is unaware of the horrific adverse events many people experienced when doing the “right thing” by taking the “vaccine” during COVID.
Doctors ignored their conditions or claimed they were psychosomatic. Insurance companies often refused to cover their treatments, surgeries, and medications. Some victims’ lives have been forever altered. They’ve gone from healthy and vibrant to bedridden and wheelchair bound.
Some have died.
Will anyone acknowledge them?
Acknowledge their suffering?
Acknowledge they tried to do their part to stop the spread of the virus—only to endure lifelong suffering?
Will they ever be heard?
React 19’s mission is to support these victims and provide a platform through which they can share their story.
At Love & Life we see them; we hear them; we walk arm and arm with them.
They are not alone.
We will continue to speak out and validate the trauma they’ve endured.
Chris Pigott joins me today to share his story.
Thank you for listening and bearing witness.
Chris Pigott
X | x.com/pigott24
React19
React19 is a science-based non-profit offering financial, physical, and emotional support for those suffering from long-term Covid-19 vaccine adverse events globally. React19's mission is to bring healing to the moms, dads, friends, and loved ones who are facing life-altering side effects from their Covid-19 vaccine. The organization builds bridges between patients and research institutions in order to develop a better understanding of vaccine complications. React19 works with both patients and providers, as well as research teams. Its programs all fall within three categories of assistance (financial, physical, and emotional). Programs include funding, promoting, and sharing relevant scientific research; bringing the right medical teams together with patients; direct financial assistance via the CARE Fund; educational outreach; and supporting communities where impacted people can begin to heal physically and emotionally. Learn more at react19.org
Dr. Karin & Pastor Elliott Anderson
Website: http://loveandlifemedia.com/
Empowered Dating Playbook: smarturl.it/EmpoweredDatingBook
Instagram: @dr.karin | @pastorelliottanderson
With the holidays upon us, Dr. Karin and Pastor Elliott delve into the complexities of family dynamics during the holiday season. They explore the challenges that arise when families gather during the holidays and offer various perspective shifts we can have to move through those challenges. From navigating estranged relationships to embracing the joy and tension of holiday traditions.
- How do we navigate triggering family dynamics during the holidays?
- How can you manage expectations to reduce holiday stress and anxiety?
- How can you embrace emotional sensitivity and allow feelings to surface without shame?
- How can you foster meaningful connections with kindness and grace within family tensions?
Join them as they discuss the importance of being present, navigating expectations, and finding connection in the midst of family gatherings.
Dr. Karin & Pastor Elliott Anderson
Website: http://loveandlifemedia.com/
Empowered Dating Playbook: smarturl.it/EmpoweredDatingBook
Instagram: @dr.karin | @pastorelliottanderson
Karin got to attend the Children's Health Defense Conference in Texas last week and got to meet Love & Life favorite Dave Wayne for the first time IRL!
On today's episode, Karin and Dave review the conference and the key takeaways from speakers— many of whom are fighting these issues on the front lines of our culture.
They also discuss the concerns so many of us have regarding the physical, emotional, and mental health of future generations. Particularly the impact of environmental factors, the rise in autoimmune diseases, and many more issues we've seen increase in the United States among children in recent decades.
You can check out more on the Children's Health Defense at childrenshealthdefense.org
Dr. Karin & Pastor Elliott Anderson
Website: http://loveandlifemedia.com/Empowered Dating
Playbook: smarturl.it/EmpoweredDatingBook
Instagram: @dr.karin | @pastorelliottanderson
We are tackling a topic today that is currently revolutionizing every aspect of the world around us: A.I. Specifically, we are looking at how A.I. is impacting our most sacred connections as human beings in our relationships.
- How do we as human beings engage with this new artificial reality that we find ourselves in?
- What are the implications on our faith, relationships, and the very psychology of our humanity?
- What are we at risk of losing if A.I. goes unchecked?
At this moment in time, many of us find ourselves asking these questions. Join us as we dive into and try to make sense of this complex topic!
Dr. Karin & Pastor Elliott Anderson
Website: http://loveandlifemedia.com/
Empowered Dating Playbook: smarturl.it/EmpoweredDatingBook
Instagram: @dr.karin | @pastorelliottanderson
Today’s episode was recorded just days before Charlie Kirk was murdered back in September. We decided not to post it after his death as we were all in shock and grieving after the events that took place. We are releasing it now as a bonus episode. Although it’s a few months old now, the topic seems more relevant than ever.
- How do we live authentically with integrity when it means we do so alone?
- How do we face isolation?
- What happens when that isolation comes from family and friends?
- How do we face trials and suffering?
- What does the Bible mean when it commands us to count it all joy when we face difficult circumstances?
These are not easy questions, yet they are things we wrestle with in our journey through this life. We hope you’ll find peace and comfort in this episode no matter what difficulties you are facing. You are not alone. Please reach out with any questions or comments. We’d love to hear from you!
Dr. Karin & Pastor Elliott Anderson
Website: http://loveandlifemedia.com/
Empowered Dating Playbook: smarturl.it/EmpoweredDatingBook
Instagram: @dr.karin | @pastorelliottanderson
Elliott recently shared some of psychiatrist Dr. William Glasser’s work with Karin. Karin hadn’t researched his work in a long time, and it immediately resonated with her and the times we are living in. Dr. Glasser developed Reality Therapy and Choice Theory and was very critical of traditional therapy modalities of his time.
In this episode, we explore these themes and how we can see them through a Biblical lens. Elliott relates this to many of his clients who have recently felt stuck in their ability to make choices and move forward in life, making change. Karin also explores the ways in which modern-day therapy disempowers and dehumanizes so many people seeking help.
- What actions can we take to make real change?
- How do we get unstuck?
- What are the choices we make day to day that we have the power to change?
We hope you are encouraged and empowered as you listen. Make it happen!
Dr. Karin & Pastor Elliott Anderson
Website: http://loveandlifemedia.com/
Empowered Dating Playbook: smarturl.it/EmpoweredDatingBook
Instagram: @dr.karin | @pastorelliottanderson
After a variety of counseling sessions that revolved around similar themes Karin and Elliott dive into the topic of control. What do we do when our world around us feels chaotic and anxious? How do we deal with being misunderstood and mistreated? What’s the antidote to trying to control the people and situations in our lives? Where is God in the midst of anxiety and fears?
Karin and Elliott share their strategies, re-frames, and wealth of experience on how to deal with these big questions we all face.
Be empowered and encouraged as you listen! If you have any additional questions or comments feel free to reach out to us on our website or on social media.
Dr. Karin & Pastor Elliott Anderson
Website: http://loveandlifemedia.com/
Empowered Dating Playbook: smarturl.it/EmpoweredDatingBook
Instagram: @dr.karin | @pastorelliottanderson
Today we have the pleasure of hosting Love & Life favorite David Wayne to discuss the intersection of faith, mental health, and the devastating ways Big Pharma impacts those seeking help. We discuss the spiritual awakening that many have experienced over the last 5 years, the challenges of navigating the mental health system, and the importance of emotional connection and self-empowerment in recovery.
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The mental health system often perpetuates harm rather than healing.
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How labels dehumanize people seeking help.
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How SSRIs numb our emotions.
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The importance of our emotions as we heal.
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How hope and self-empowerment are essential for recovery.
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And much more!
Enjoy the conversation and we pray that it meets you wherever you are on your journey towards wholeness and healing.
Dr. Karin & Pastor Elliott AndersonWebsite: http://loveandlifemedia.com/Empowered Dating Playbook: smarturl.it/EmpoweredDatingBookInstagram: @dr.karin | @pastorelliottanderson
Jennifer Sey, CEO of XX-XY Athletics has proclaimed October 10th (X X) as Real Women’s Day.
We at Love & Life are here for it!Jennifer encourages us to speak out—to be bold in our support and protection of women and girls.
I have purchased several T-shirts from XX-XY Athletics. The statements on the shirts are logical and reasonable, yet at this chaotic time, they are often perceived as controversial by many people.
I wear them to invite others to think.
I want them to consider their positions. And, I want to advocate for women and girls.
Because when men pretend to be women, they steal women’s positions, championships, and scholarships.
In effect, they erase women.
In today’s episode, our intern, Evelyn, joins me to share her thoughts, as a young Gen Z woman, on these concerns!
We invite you to join us as we support Jennifer‘s campaign. Speak up! Stand up! And, maybe even wear a T-shirt, proclaiming your beliefs about sex, reality, and the importance of protecting women and girls!
Evelyn also wrote a piece for us in honor of 10/10 Real Women's Day. You can read it here:
Substack - Girls Are Girls by Evelyn Harrington
Dr. Karin & Pastor Elliott AndersonWebsite: http://loveandlifemedia.com/Empowered Dating Playbook: smarturl.it/EmpoweredDatingBookInstagram: @dr.karin | @pastorelliottanderson
Elliott and I have recently talked about pain and grief around the assassination of Charlie Kirk. The horror and fury of losing a Godly leader are bad enough. The shocking reality that some people celebrated his murder heaps additional sorrow on those in mourning. (For more on this, please see ep. 372).
At the same time, God continues to redeem and bring glory to even the most hideous of circumstances. A spiritual fire has awakened many—people are returning to church and speaking boldly about their beliefs and faith.
We focus on this beauty for ashes (Isaiah 61:3).
In the midst of division, we find comfort with likeminded friends—this shared grief provides healing in and of itself.
For example, after listening to the episodes about Charlie, a friend from college texted me with a heartfelt, supportive response. Elliott and I discuss her text which led to a conversation about attachment.
We use the framework of Attachment Theory to flesh out the tension, pain, and dissension we feel at this time. How do we move through the vicissitudes of attachment to our friends, family, country, and God?
Throughout our conversation, Elliott provides Scripture to help us navigate strained connections. Ultimately, we lean on God as our secure attachment.
I’m still somewhat in shock. I NEVER thought I’d hear America’s most powerful leaders acknowledge what mothers of autistic children have known for years—the autism epidemic has nothing to do with genes and EVERYTHING to do with toxic and pharmaceutical exposures.
Including vaccines.
And yes, in the press conference, Trump initially mentioned Tylenol and the fact that taking it during pregnancy leads to an increased risk of a future diagnosis of autism for the baby.
But, right after that, Trump brought up vaccines stating that autism is virtually nonexistent in some communities where children don’t get them.
He looked to Bobby for confirmation and Bobby agreed that yes, several studies suggest this to be true in communities like the Amish, for example.
I was THRILLED to hear the top health official in the US utter this truth!
Finally, the moms of autistic children are vindicated. Finally, pediatricians won’t be able to gaslight them anymore. Finally, “believe all women” applies to them!
I invited our favorite dissident psychiatric nurse, Dave Wayne, to share his take on the press conference. Will we actually start preventing autism? Can we treat it with leucovorin as Dr. Makary asserts? And, how will these announcements impact the future of MAHA and the medical freedom movement?
Join us for a lively discussion on all things autism, junk medical research, and, of course, Big Pharma!
Dr. Karin & Pastor Elliott Anderson
Website: http://loveandlifemedia.com/
Empowered Dating Playbook: smarturl.it/EmpoweredDatingBook
Instagram: @dr.karin | @pastorelliottanderson
As we continue to mourn the murder of Charlie Kirk and reflect on his legacy, Karin shares her personal experience attending Charlie’s memorial service this past Sunday. She describes what she witnessed firsthand and the impact it had on her and those she attended with. Karin and Elliott also delve into the significance of forgiveness, healing, and confronting anger in the process of grieving while also addressing the criticisms and outrage that some commentators expressed about the memorial service. Was the memorial a platform to encourage revenge or forgiveness? How do we wrestle through these topics that have seemingly become so polarizing? Please join us as we have a real dialogue about how we navigate through these topics as we seek to honor Charlie’s legacy. Sponsor:The Wellness CompanyWebsite: https://www.twc.health/lovelifeCode: LOVELIFE for 15% off your order!Dr. Karin & Pastor Elliott AndersonWebsite: http://loveandlifemedia.com/Empowered Dating Playbook: smarturl.it/EmpoweredDatingBookInstagram: @dr.karin | @pastorelliottanderson
I’ve been thinking a lot about friendships in the wake of Charlie Kirk’s assassination.
Especially because, as we’ve talked about before on the program, many friendships have become strained in these highly charged times.
So when you admire a prominent figure who takes a stand politically, you can be certain friends who vote in the other direction will not only NOT admire him, they may actually despise him.
And, should he be murdered, they’ll shed no tears. They might, in fact, be secretly glad he’s dead.
Where does that leave the friendship?
We typically lean on friends during our pain and sadness. We look to them for empathy—even if they aren’t suffering the same loss.
True friends imagine how we’re feeling; they put themselves in our shoes and grieve with us.
As Paul instructed, they “carry our burdens.”
But maybe they can’t—or, won’t—when the loss involves someone or something they abhor.
Then what? What happens to the friendship?
I’m dealing with this right now and in today’s episode, Elliott helps me process.
If your friendships are fractured due to these divisive times—or, for any reason—please join us.
Below you’ll find the video we referenced in the episode:
https://youtu.be/azE7nqqQMmo
Sponsor:
The Wellness Company
Website: https://www.twc.health/lovelife
Code: LOVELIFE for 15% off your order!
Dr. Karin & Pastor Elliott Anderson
Website: http://loveandlifemedia.com/
Empowered Dating Playbook: smarturl.it/EmpoweredDatingBook
Instagram: @dr.karin | @pastorelliottanderson
How do we move through the shock and grief of murder?
We’re horrified, outraged, and demoralized. Nothing makes sense.
WHY, God?
And furthermore, Charlie was gunned down for inviting others to debate him at universities. Aren’t universities designed for spirited discourse? When we disagree, isn’t the solution to continue sharpening our positions, as opposed to silencing counter-arguments?
Elliott and I respond to Charlie’s murder by sharing Elisabeth Kubler-Ross’ Stages of Grief while supplementing her model with principles from Scripture.
If you’re grieving, please join us for a word of healing and hope.
Sponsor:The Wellness CompanyWebsite: https://www.twc.health/lovelifeCode: LOVELIFE for 15% off your order!Dr. Karin & Pastor Elliott AndersonWebsite: http://loveandlifemedia.com/Empowered Dating Playbook: smarturl.it/EmpoweredDatingBookInstagram: @dr.karin | @pastorelliottanderson
We continue our conversation today discussing some of the issues we find in the therapy profession and the impact it has on individuals seeking help.
Specifically, we explore:
•What is Big Therapy?
•The Problem with Codependency in Therapeutic Relationships
•Mental Health Awareness and Its Implications
•How to Frame Mental Health Positively
•The Dangers of AI in Therapy
•And More!
We want to empower individuals to make informed decisions and to think critically when seeking out therapeutic help. If you have questions about therapy please don’t hesitate to reach out to us at http://loveandlifemedia.com
Sponsor:The Wellness CompanyWebsite: https://www.twc.health/lovelifeCode: LOVELIFE for 15% off your order!Dr. Karin & Pastor Elliott AndersonWebsite: http://loveandlifemedia.com/Empowered Dating Playbook: smarturl.it/EmpoweredDatingBookInstagram: @dr.karin | @pastorelliottanderson
Therapy is a powerful tool that aids us in navigating complex issues, pain, trauma, and anxieties that are inherent to the human experience. The concept of seeing a therapist or a “shrink” was once considered taboo but has now become widely accepted in our culture as a normal response to challenging situations.
However, as with many aspects of life, the shift towards acceptance can sometimes lead to overemphasis. Ironically, we find ourselves in an era with an unprecedented number of therapists, yet the prevalence of mental health issues remains at an alarming level. Some individuals even experience a worsening of their condition after undergoing therapy.
In this episode, we delve into the intricate dynamics of modern therapy. We examine the challenges inherent in traditional therapeutic models, highlight the significance of reframing negative thought patterns, and explore the role of faith in fostering mental well-being.
Sponsor:
The Wellness Company
Website: https://www.twc.health/lovelife
Code: LOVELIFE for 15% off your order!
Dr. Karin & Pastor Elliott Anderson
Website: http://loveandlifemedia.com/
Empowered Dating Playbook: smarturl.it/EmpoweredDatingBook
Instagram: @dr.karin | @pastorelliottanderson
Today we conclude Elliott's 2 part sermon series on Spiritual Thinking from Philippians 4:6-9. If you missed part 1 make sure to check out Ep. 367.
For more of Elliott’s sermons, please visit: https://solidrock.faith/
Dr. Karin & Pastor Elliott Anderson
Website: http://loveandlifemedia.com/
Empowered Dating Playbook: smarturl.it/EmpoweredDatingBook
Instagram: @dr.karin | @pastorelliottanderson
Sponsor:
The Wellness Company
Website: https://www.twc.health/lovelife
Code: LOVELIFE for 15% off your order!
Dr. Karin & Pastor Elliott Anderson
Website: http://loveandlifemedia.com/
Empowered Dating Playbook: smarturl.it/EmpoweredDatingBook
Instagram: @dr.karin | @pastorelliottanderson
Elliott is back and he’s here today to share a 2-part message series he gave at his church, Solid Rock Church, on spiritual thinking. The series covers Philippians 4:6-9, with Part 1 covering verses 6-7 and Part 2 verses 8-9.
In his 30 years of experience as a therapist, a counselor, and a spiritual renewal mentor, it dawned on Elliott the necessity and the power of spiritual thinking and how it impacts our lives.
Far too often, our thoughts can be fixated on worries, anxieties, and condemnation to ourselves or others.
These thoughts can destroy relationships, destroy lives, and block our influence and our inspiration to our community.
Elliott’s message is strong and direct, and we hope it challenges you. We hope it helps you to recognize and deal with this concept of spiritual thinking in your life.
For more of Elliott’s sermons, please visit: https://solidrock.faith/
Dr. Karin & Pastor Elliott Anderson
Website: http://loveandlifemedia.com/
Empowered Dating Playbook: smarturl.it/EmpoweredDatingBook
Instagram: @dr.karin | @pastorelliottanderson
Sponsor:
The Wellness Company
Website: https://www.twc.health/lovelife
Code: LOVELIFE for 15% off your order!
Dr. Karin & Pastor Elliott Anderson
Website: http://loveandlifemedia.com/
Empowered Dating Playbook: smarturl.it/EmpoweredDatingBook
Instagram: @dr.karin | @pastorelliottanderson
Dr. Karin and Pastor Elliott will be back next week but in the mean time we are replaying Ep. 307, one of our more popular episodes on mental health! Whether you're hearing this episode again or for the first time we hope it will empower you!
___________________________________
Recently, I read an article in Time Magazine titled, “America Has Reached Peak Therapy. Why Is Our Mental Health Getting Worse?”
Obviously, the content was quite sobering. How is it that mental health awareness is up, stigma is down—and yet, we’re more depressed and anxious than ever!?!
I knew I wanted to discuss the article with Elliott and share it with the Love & Life community.
Specifically, we unpack:
- The unintended consequences of a culture of “Mental Health Awareness.”
- How health insurance impacts the practice of psychotherapy—and even our understanding of emotional distress in general.
- How changes in counselors’ training programs affect not only the therapist/client relationship, but also the psychological community as a whole.
Oh, and let’s not forget Pharma. The realities we highlight throughout the episode wouldn’t be occurring without a healthy dose—pun intended—of Big Pharma influence.
Join us as we break down the current landscape while also providing hope for a more holistic, empowered approach to emotional wellbeing!
Article: https://time.com/6308096/therapy-mental-health-worse-us/
Simon Says by Elliott Anderson: https://www.amazon.com/Simon-Says-Principles-Perspectives-Anderson/dp/0915725207/ref=sr_1_1?crid=21PGSPXG7KW7C&dib=eyJ2IjoiMSJ9.Kqa9NtnahBSuA6fJUyPREA.6ErqUgC2UO2Knyzxu7gH7227M7SxOuadKhb9ZenpX6w&dib_tag=se&keywords=simon+says+elliott+anderson&qid=1717619097&sprefix=simon+says+elliott+anderson%2Caps%2C135&sr=8-1
Sponsors:
The Wellness Company
Website: https://www.twc.health/lovelife
Code: LOVELIFE for 15% off your order!
Dr. Karin & Pastor Elliott Anderson
Website: http://loveandlifemedia.com/
Empowered Dating Playbook: smarturl.it/EmpoweredDatingBook
Instagram: @dr.karin | @pastorelliottanderson
Recently, I was invited to appear on a podcast called "We Need to Talk with Dr. Darcy Sterling". On that podcast, we got into a lot of dating topics that I used to cover on Love & Life before Elliott joined.
-
what to look for in the early days
-
the dynamic of the dating relationships
-
what red flags to notice
-
what flag may not be all that red (but we should still pay attention to them)
-
and more!
All these kinds of issues are things that Elliot and I are very passionate about. So we asked Dr. Sterling if we could share my interview on her program with you, the Love and Life family. We hope you enjoy my conversation with Dr. Darcy Sterling!
__________________________________
I’ve worked with so many smart, successful people who keep finding themselves in relationships that just don’t work. They’re self-aware, they’ve done the therapy, and on paper, they’re a catch. So why do they keep picking partners who can’t meet them where they are?
In this episode, I’m joined by psychologist and “Love & Life” podcast host Dr. Karin Anderson Abrell to talk about why high-functioning people so often end up in low-quality relationships—and what to do about it.
We’re breaking down:
Why emotionally intelligent people sometimes ignore red flags.
The role fantasy and projection play in choosing the wrong partners.
How to tell the difference between chemistry and compatibility.
What “dating at your level” really looks like.
How to stop mistaking potential for actual partnership.
If you’ve ever thought, “Maybe I’m the common denominator,” this conversation is for you. Because sometimes, you’re not the problem—you’re just dating one.
🎧 Hit play. Let’s talk about it.
Xxoo Darcy
REFERENCES/RESOURCES
www.alternativescounseling.com
Stat on DSM
https://www.bmj.com/content/384/bmj-2...
CREDITS
“We Need To Talk With Dr. Darcy Sterling” is a Sterling Standard Production. Editing and sound engineering by Bart Migal. Our theme music is by Trending Music. Special thanks to Amanda Cristiani and Robyn Jaenchen.
DISCLAIMER
https://www.askdrdarcy.com/disclaimer/
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Summer is in full swing and that means while Dr. Karin and Pastor Elliott are out we are going back in time to Ep. 262 and replay one of our more popular episodes on mental health! We believe this topic is just as relevant today as it was back in 2023. Whether you're hearing this episode again or for the first time we hope it will empower you!
We’re in the midst of a mental health war. Over the last 50 years, we’ve raised awareness and developed abundant treatment options, yet Americans’ rates of depression and anxiety continue to skyrocket (Whitaker, 2015).
Today, Elliott and I discuss my reflections on his recent messages about the epidemics of anxiety, depression, loneliness, and addiction.
We conceptualize the current mental health landscape as a war for two reasons: (1) because so many Americans battle psychological concerns and (2) professionals are in the midst of deeply contentious disputes regarding how to best treat clients’ emotional distress.
Pharmaceutical corporations and many psychiatrists view this issue through a medical model i.e. patients are diagnosed with psychiatric illnesses and are prescribed pills to manage symptoms. But despite an exponential increase in the use of psychotropic medications, the number of Americans filing disability claims due to mental conditions has tripled over the last two decades (Whitaker, 2015).
Elliott and I argue that a “medicalized” framework pathologizes reasonable responses to trauma and pain; this frameworks also disempowers clients—which is both an unintended and unfortunate consequence. Furthermore, and very importantly, most pharmaceutical interventions for psychological conditions simply don’t work as promised—if at all (Brogan, 2016, 2019; Whitaker, 2015).
Join our conversation to learn the necessary tactics for engaging in this mental health war!
Works Cited
Brogan, K. (2016). A mind of your own: The truth about depression and how women can heal their bodies to reclaim their lives. Harper Wave.
Brogan, K. (2019). Own yourself: The surprising path beyond depression, anxiety, and fatigue to reclaiming your authenticity, vitality, and freedom. Hay House.
Spielmans, G., Spence-Sing, T., & Parry, P. (2020). Duty to warn: Antidepressant black box suicidality warning is empirically justified. Frontiers in Psychiatry, 20. ttps://www.frontiersin.org/articles/10.3389/fpsyt.2020.00018/full
Whitaker, R. (2015). Anatomy of an epidemic. Broadway Books.
Dr. Karin & Pastor Elliott Anderson
Website: http://loveandlifemedia.com/
Empowered Dating Playbook: smarturl.it/EmpoweredDatingBook
Instagram: @dr.karin | @pastorelliottanderson
We’ve been a series for the past month, taking a counter-cultural approach to the mainstream use of medications. These medications have been normalized by medical professionals and big businesses for decades, and those who experience negative side effects are often demoralized and shunned.
In today’s episode, Elliott offers his response to this series and helps us continue unpack these topics. He also shares with us his LOVE approach, which gives us some practical application to a subject that affects us on so many levels.
These topics can be heavy and may impact us personally or our closest relationships with family and friends. We hope you find encouragement and practical tools you can incorporate into your daily life. Please don’t hesitate to reach out if you have any further questions or comments about these topics!
Sponsor:
The Wellness Company
Website: https://www.twc.health/lovelife
Code: LOVELIFE for 15% off your order!
Dr. Karin & Pastor Elliott Anderson
Website: http://loveandlifemedia.com/
Empowered Dating Playbook: smarturl.it/EmpoweredDatingBook
Instagram: @dr.karin | @pastorelliottanderson
Over the last 10 years, there’s been an exponential growth in the number of children diagnosed with gender dysphoria.
“Gender affirming care” prescribes puberty blockers to keep children from developing naturally. Doctors often claim puberty blockers merely “pause” physical development—suggesting children can “un-pause” the process and resume puberty at will.
Nothing could be further from the truth.
Psychiatric nurse, Dave Wayne, joins us to continue our series about commonly prescribed medications which may have detrimental side effects.
We discuss the realities of puberty blockers, including:
• the fact they’re used to chemically castrate sex offenders in Europe
• the irreversible physical damage they cause
• the resulting cognitive impairment
The research is clear—puberty blockers cause irreparable harm to children’s emotional, physical, and cognitive development.
It’s high time we adults start protecting children, as opposed to “affirming” their delusions.
Citations
https://www.medrxiv.org/content/10.1101/2025.05.14.25327614v1
https://www.washingtontimes.com/news/2024/dec/17/johanna-olson-kennedy-doctor-won-release-transgend/
Sponsor:
The Wellness Company
Website: https://www.twc.health/lovelife
Code: LOVELIFE for 15% off your order!
David Wayne
Website: https://www.describe.health
Instagram: @david.wayne.rn
Dr. Karin & Pastor Elliott Anderson
Website: http://loveandlifemedia.com/
Empowered Dating Playbook: smarturl.it/EmpoweredDatingBook
Instagram: @dr.karin | @pastorelliottanderson
Psychiatric nurse and Love & Life favorite David Wayne returns to the show today as we continue our series examining drugs that most of us consider completely safe, effective, and harmless. In this conversation, we discuss one of the most commonly prescribed drugs: antidepressants.
David witnessed firsthand how these drugs had profound impacts on the health of his patients…
Spoiler alert: it wasn’t good.
More than the negative impacts of these drugs, however, David believes the public has not been informed about the dangerous side effects and at times lifelong impact these drugs can cause.
As a result, patients are not being provided proper informed consent.
Whether you agree, disagree, or have never heard this side of the position before, we hope this episode will encourage you to think critically and conduct your own research as you start to question the status quo that has infused our cultural for decades regarding these medications.
To learn more about David’s story, please check out the other Love & Life appearances he has made over the years here:Ep. 298 - https://open.spotify.com/episode/4jHUtoWp04Bqw8fjjYjmoR?si=2TCsg4ATTyqrM3uzsNW-gw Ep. 299 - https://open.spotify.com/episode/0rBQyYgzQ8PJZlkhVG3f1o?si=gQrDg-5VQR6F7804f6ohrQ Ep. 316 - https://open.spotify.com/episode/58PblFM1gvijGfx8DF8Yrp?si=QnzwREsBQqCE8-z84ayg3QEp. 321 - https://open.spotify.com/episode/5rOU5CwPeS38aRpgIh1p7D?si=QfKkO9TIRaqFdSbfhEbkwAEp. 324 - https://open.spotify.com/episode/3rkQJAXYiyxDSIKzAilSQh?si=wgcOiuQ8TLaTLarLtCjbTw
Sponsor:The Wellness CompanyWebsite: https://www.twc.health/lovelifeCode: LOVELIFE for 15% off your order!David WayneWebsite: https://www.describe.healthInstagram: @david.wayne.rnDr. Karin & Pastor Elliott AndersonWebsite: http://loveandlifemedia.com/Empowered Dating Playbook: smarturl.it/EmpoweredDatingBookInstagram: @dr.karin | @pastorelliottanderson
Today we continue my conversation with Lori Wold as we discuss how Lori's daughter Dana's world was turned upside after taking just 6 pills of a routine antibiotic.
In Part 2, we talk about ways Dana was able to regain parts of her life back as well as providing support for those who have experienced similar injuries.
This episode is the second installment in a new series examining drugs most of us consider completely safe, effective, and harmless.
If you or anyone you know has a similar story please go to loveandlifemedia.com and share your story with us by clicking on the "Contact" tab.
Resources: https://mountainsandmustardseedssite.wordpress.com/2017/03/18/this-antibiotic-will-ruin-you/
Sponsor:
The Wellness Company
Website: https://www.twc.health/lovelife
Code: LOVELIFE for 15% off your order!
Dr. Karin & Pastor Elliott Anderson
Website: http://loveandlifemedia.com/
Empowered Dating Playbook: smarturl.it/EmpoweredDatingBook
Instagram: @dr.karin | @pastorelliottanderson
Dana was a 29-year-old musician living in Chicago—perfectly fit and healthy. Until she took a routinely prescribed antibiotic for a urinary tract infection.
After taking just 6 pills, she began to feel horribly ill. Her limbs tingled and went numb—to the point where Dana had to pull over to the side of Lake Shore
Drive using her knees to guide the steering wheel.
Her life was never the same.
She moved back home to live with her parents because she couldn’t possibly continue to work or care for herself. She could barely get out of bed. They had to wash her hair. She became an invalid.
All because of an antibiotic.
The doctors didn’t believe them. It was just an antibiotic. No way could the drug be the cause of Dana’s illness!
This episode serves as the first in a new series examining drugs most of us consider completely safe, effective, and harmless.
Lori Wold joins us to share her daughter’s journey to healing. She’s spreading the word in hopes others will avoid these toxic medications!
Resources: https://mountainsandmustardseedssite.wordpress.com/2017/03/18/this-antibiotic-will-ruin-you/
Sponsor:
The Wellness Company
Website: https://www.twc.health/lovelife
Code: LOVELIFE for 15% off your order!
Dr. Karin & Pastor Elliott Anderson
Website: http://loveandlifemedia.com/
Empowered Dating Playbook: smarturl.it/EmpoweredDatingBook
Instagram: @dr.karin | @pastorelliottanderson
As a first time mom, Dani couldn’t wait for her bundle of joy to arrive!
She expected a huge transition, of course. But then again, she couldn’t full prepare for some elements she’d experience. For example, their baby was born with a heart condition which, obviously, complicated matters.
She and her husband also had to adjust their marital dynamics to accommodate the demands of caring for an infant—as do all new parents.
How did they move through the transition from husband and wife to mother and father—especially given their first born’s physical concerns?
We’re so grateful for Dani’s willingness to get real about those first months of parenting—how it impacted her identity as a woman and as a wife.
Three children and 20 years later, Dani shares what worked for her and her husband—along with what didn’t!
Join us for real talk on the truth about welcoming a newborn into your marriage!
Sponsor:
The Wellness Company
Website: https://www.twc.health/lovelife
Code: LOVELIFE for 15% off your order!
Dani Schurman
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/dschur2
LinkedIn: http://linkedin.com/in/danielleschurman
Dr. Karin & Pastor Elliott Anderson
Website: http://loveandlifemedia.com/
Empowered Dating Playbook: smarturl.it/EmpoweredDatingBook
Instagram: @dr.karin | @pastorelliottanderson
Elliott was talking to his wife, Angie, about our series for new parents.
As a mom of four babies within two years, Angie had plenty of thoughts around this topic!
She suggested some themes we could explore in today’s episode:
- How to embrace your brand new identity of “mother” and “father.”
- Recognizing your self-concept may alter in ways you didn’t expect.
- How to ask for help—even when you’ve always been self-sufficient and independent.
- Conversations husbands and wives need to have BEFORE baby arrives.
- M3 intimacy crushers.
- 3 intimacy enhancers.
Keep your marriage strong while welcoming your little one!
Join us for part 2 of our New Parenting series 👶
Sponsor:
The Wellness Company
Website: https://www.twc.health/lovelife
Code: LOVELIFE for 15% off your order!
Dr. Karin & Pastor Elliott Anderson
Website: http://loveandlifemedia.com/
Empowered Dating Playbook: smarturl.it/EmpoweredDatingBook
Instagram: @dr.karin | @pastorelliottanderson
This July, Elliott and I will welcome our niece’s first baby—a boy named after our father, Simon. We are over the moon!
My stepson’s wife is also pregnant; their boy, Max (named after Dan’s dad), is due in June. So we’re blessed with two babies coming into the family!
Plus, one of my dearest friends just had a boy in January.
I started thinking about what a beautiful gift—and also, what a major life transition—the birth of a baby brings to a couple.
I told Elliott I wanted to do a series to help new parents navigate their dual roles as both mother & father AND husband & wife!
Elliott shares two crucial recommendations for new parents to help them keep their marriages strong in the midst of “blessed chaos!”
Join us for part 1 of our New Parenting series 👶
Sponsor:
The Wellness Company
Website: https://www.twc.health/lovelife
Code: LOVELIFE for 15% off your order!
Dr. Karin & Pastor Elliott Anderson
Website: http://loveandlifemedia.com/
Empowered Dating Playbook: smarturl.it/EmpoweredDatingBook
Instagram: @dr.karin | @pastorelliottanderson
Last March I was walking through my all-time favorite grocery store, Seed to Table in Naples, Florida.
Yes, I have a favorite grocery store, and yes, it’s the best ever.
While browsing through the Health & Wellness section, I met Michelle Albergo who was sharing information about Cell Fit.
Cell Fit’s lead scientist, biochemist Tricia Flanagan, created a product like no other! It’s not a supplement, rather it’s a therapeutic enzyme which works at the cellular level to heal conditions and optimize health.
From Cell Fit’s website:
“Our lead scientist, Tricia Flanagan, spent the first part of her 25 year career as a biochemist in immunology and oncology at Brown University. She studied how healthy cells behave and how they stay healthy. She developed Cell Fit over the last three years with an attention to purity of product and performance.
Our Super Oxide Dismutase is like no other—our product is the purest brand available and we've exhausted every effort in bringing you the most effective and safe SOD on the market.“
I bought some Cell Fit myself and asked Michelle and Tricia to join us on Love & Life to let us all know the benefits of Cell Fit’s novel approach to health!
Sponsor:
The Wellness Company
Website: https://www.twc.health/lovelife
Code: LOVELIFE for 15% off your order!
Cell Fit
Website: CellFitHealth.com
Dr. Karin & Pastor Elliott Anderson
Website: http://loveandlifemedia.com/
Empowered Dating Playbook: smarturl.it/EmpoweredDatingBook
Instagram: @dr.karin | @pastorelliottanderson
It seems counterintuitive, but sometimes asking a question is the WORST way to gather information!
As we’ve been talking about in the last couple episodes, posing questions can often backfire. Our friends and partners may feel defensive or attacked! Even the most loving questions may impede intimacy, rather than enhance it.
Elliott’s clients have started making statements instead of asking questions. They’re enjoying increased intimacy and decreased conflict!
While we were speaking today, I kept thinking about how I perhaps ask questions when I could make authentic statements, instead.
So we decided to launch an, “Ask Not Challenge.” Over the next few weeks, we’ll make more statements and ask fewer questions. We invite you to join us in this challenge. Let us know how it goes!
We’ll share more about this challenge in this week’s newsletter. If you haven’t signed up, please do so here: https://www.loveandlifemedia.com/
Sponsor:
The Wellness Company
Website: https://www.twc.health/lovelife
Code: LOVELIFE for 15% off your order!
Dr. Karin & Pastor Elliott Anderson
Website: http://loveandlifemedia.com/
Empowered Dating Playbook: smarturl.it/EmpoweredDatingBook
Instagram: @dr.karin | @pastorelliottanderson
When you want to get to know someone better, you ask them a lot of questions, right?
Maybe not . . .
This week, we pick up on an important point Elliott made last episode about avoiding questions to facilitate effective, authentic communication.
It seems counterintuitive, but we can actually gather MORE information and cultivate DEEPER intimacy by communicating with statements.
So, how exactly do we do this?
Elliott and I share a foundational technique from Carl Rogers’ Client Centered Therapy—reflective listening.
It’s a simple adjustment that dramatically alters communication.
You can try it today and immediately experience the difference!
Your friends, family, and romantic partners will feel seen, heard, and validated. They’ll know how much you care about them through your reflections of what they’re expressing.
The best part? You don’t have to try to figure out the right words to say or the right questions to ask.
Because, as we noted above, it’s NOT about questions at all!
If you’re ready to level up your communication skills to deepen understanding and intimacy, join us for some Counseling 101!
Citation: Behavior Expert, Chase Hughes, from Steve Bartlett’s Facebook page.
Sponsor:
The Wellness Company
Website: https://www.twc.health/lovelife
Code: LOVELIFE for 15% off your order!
Dr. Karin & Pastor Elliott Anderson
Website: http://loveandlifemedia.com/
Empowered Dating Playbook: smarturl.it/EmpoweredDatingBook
Instagram: @dr.karin | @pastorelliottanderson
Today Elliott and Tim explore the significance of language in relationships and how to avoid potential pitfalls in communication. They discuss how communication styles, gender roles, and temperament influence interactions, especially during conflicts. Elliott shares the importance of using 'we' language to foster unity and understanding in the context of relationships with significant others.
We hope today’s conversation will empower you with tools to practice effective communication in your relationships.
Sponsor:
The Wellness Company
Website: https://www.twc.health/lovelife
Code: LOVELIFE for 15% off your order!
Dr. Karin & Pastor Elliott Anderson
Website: http://loveandlifemedia.com/
Empowered Dating Playbook: smarturl.it/EmpoweredDatingBook
Instagram: @dr.karin | @pastorelliottanderson
We are joined on today’s episode by Sarah Knott. Sarah has been an avid listener of the podcast and has done counseling with Elliott. She shares with all of us her profound healing journey that started with some physical manifestations but as she explored things deeper found that there were emotional and spiritual elements at play as well.
She is also a mom and her little ones were excited to be on the podcast too! So you may hear them in the background from time to time. But just as you’ll hear in her story everything about today’s episode is raw and real.
Sarah is also an artist and has a singer/songwriter group with her husband called Acoustic Truth. You can find her website below.
We hope this episode will encourage you and we are so thankful for Sarah’s willingness to share her story so openly with our community.
Sponsor:
The Wellness Company
Website: https://www.twc.health/lovelife
Code: LOVELIFE for 15% off your order!
Sarah Knott / Acoustic Truth
Website | https://www.acoustictruthofficial.com
Dr. Karin & Pastor Elliott Anderson
Website: http://loveandlifemedia.com/
Empowered Dating Playbook: smarturl.it/EmpoweredDatingBook
Instagram: @dr.karin | @pastorelliottanderson
Join us for part two of my conversation with Jenna McCarthy, author of, Yankee Doodle Soup for the Fringy, Tin-Foil Hat Wearing, Conspiracy Theorist’s Soul and The War on Ivermectin with Dr. Pierre Kory.
We process our parallel journies as COVID dissidents —including the lingering trauma so many of us continue to experience (well, maybe me more than Jenna!)
Full disclosure—this episode was a bit of a therapy session for me ☺️. Jenna shared her unrelenting optimism despite all she endured thanks to her COVID dissident stance.
Yes, she lost Hollywood contacts and movie deals. Yes, her friendships remain strained. Yes, her family initially resisted her anti-jab position.
But she persevered and now Jenna’s is THANKFUL for the COVID trials. She believes her response to the pandemic allowed her to find her life’s purpose and mission.
Join us to be blessed by Jenna’s uplifting energy and spirit!
Sponsor:
The Wellness Company
Website: https://www.twc.health/lovelife
Code: LOVELIFE for 15% off your order!
Jenna McCarthy
Website: https://jennamccarthy.com/
Substack: https://jennasside.rocks/
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/jennamccarthyisback/
X: https://x.com/jennawrites
Jenna’s Book - Yankee Doodle Soup: https://yankeedoodlesoup.com/
Dr. Karin & Pastor Elliott Anderson
Website: http://loveandlifemedia.com/
Empowered Dating Playbook: smarturl.it/EmpoweredDatingBook
Instagram: @dr.karin | @pastorelliottanderson
Elliott and I have been doing a series on trauma—which got me thinking about the thing I’m pretty much always thinking about—COVID.
Talk about a traumatizing event!
Since we all—as in, the entire world—endured the pandemic, it certainly qualifies as what psychologists call a “collective trauma.”
Because we went through it together, right?
Well no, we didn’t. The “collective trauma” wasn’t a unifying experience. Some complied with the proclamations from “experts” on high. Others resisted the authoritarianism.
The COVID event fractured society and pitted us against each other. Friendships broke down. Family members viewed each other with suspicion and disdain.
We should have rallied together, yet we remained—and remain—polarized.
How do we heal from “collective trauma” that has so splintered and divided?
I’m still trying to figure it all out.
To this end, we’re launching a series on COVID trauma.
I’m thrilled to introduce our first COVID trauma guest, Jenna McCarthy. She’s the author of Yankee Doodle Soup for the Fringy, Tin Foil Hat-Wearing Conspiracy Theorist’s Soul and The War on Ivermectin: The Medicine that Saved Millions and Could Have Ended the Pandemic with Dr. Pierre Kory.
Jenna shares her COVID journey—and yes, her career tanked and friends turned against her. Oh, and that screenplay she wrote—the one Hollywood producers were so excited about? It got tossed once she publicly challenged “the official” COVID narrative.
If, like me, you’re not over COVID—or, even if you are—this episode is for you! Dissidents will feel heard and validated. Those who went along with the program will gain a greater understanding as to why some of your friends and loved ones didn’t.
Sponsor:
The Wellness Company
Website: https://www.twc.health/lovelife
Code: LOVELIFE for 15% off your order!
Jenna McCarthy
Website: https://jennamccarthy.com/
Substack: https://jennasside.rocks/
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/jennamccarthyisback/
X: https://x.com/jennawrites
Jenna’s Book - Yankee Doodle Soup: https://yankeedoodlesoup.com/
Dr. Karin & Pastor Elliott AndersonWebsite: http://loveandlifemedia.com/Substack: https://loveandlifemedia.substack.com/Empowered Dating Playbook: smarturl.it/EmpoweredDatingBookInstagram: @dr.karin | @pastorelliottanderson
Take charge of your thoughts, take charge of your life!
Elliott reminds us to take charge of our words, too!
What are you speaking over yourself? Do you talk in defeatist terms? Do you make All-or-Nothing statements?
- I CAN’T do ___________.
- This is going to be HORRIBLE!
- I’ll NEVER be _________.
- I’ll ALWAYS struggle with __________.
Our thoughts matter. Our words matter. They have an impact on our mood, our behavior, and our ability to thrive in love and life!
Join us for practical strategies for challenging negativity and victim mentality!
Question:
I’m listening to your boundary podcast about family and newlyweds. My husband and I have been married for 6 months and I come from a very close, tight knit family. He from a family who isn’t as close. He is struggling with the involvement my parents have and the constant plans they make to see me and my sister who lives in the same town as me. She has a 1 year old who is the first grand-baby and my parents want to be involved as much as possible.
I am struggling trying to find the balance between my family, while putting my marriage first. I told my parents we love them and enjoy spending time with them but we would only like to host occasionally and we may not be able to attend every family plan/event.
Join us to hear our thoughts on this difficult situation. Spoiler Alert: Our listener is on the right track!
Sponsor:
The Wellness Company
Website: https://www.twc.health/lovelife
Code: LOVELIFE for 15% off your order!
Dr. Karin & Pastor Elliott Anderson
Website: http://loveandlifemedia.com/
Empowered Dating Playbook: smarturl.it/EmpoweredDatingBook
Instagram: @dr.karin | @pastorelliottanderson
For the last few weeks we’ve been going through a series on Trauma Recovery. How do we heal from trauma? How do we get unstuck and move towards healing?
Last week we dove into Dr. Caroline Leaf’s book, Cleaning Up Your Mental Mess, and we continue the series today with work by trauma recovery expert Bessel van der Kolk. Inspired by Bessel’s work we discuss 3 more additional movements in healing from trauma by expounding on the role of safety, imagination, and synchrony.
As always we look at these topics through a mind, body, and spirit lens and hope that you will be equipped and empowered to move through any trauma in your life.
Sponsor:
The Wellness Company
Website: https://www.twc.health/lovelife
Code: LOVELIFE for 15% off your order!
Dr. Karin & Pastor Elliott Anderson
Website: http://loveandlifemedia.com/
Empowered Dating Playbook: smarturl.it/EmpoweredDatingBook
Instagram: @dr.karin | @pastorelliottanderson
The recovery process often feels nebulous and unclear. Of course, we want to heal from trauma, but how do we do so?
Elliott’s recently been inspired by Dr. Caroline Leaf’s book, Cleaning Up Your Mental Mess: 5 Simple, Scientifically Proven Steps to Reduce Anxiety, Stress, and Toxic Thinking. He immediately began introducing Dr. Leaf’s steps to his clients—many of whom are working through trauma.
We’ve invited Dr. Leaf to appear on the podcast and we certainly hope we’ll be able to interview her soon.
In the meantime, please join us to hear about Dr. Leaf’s 5 steps and how Elliott integrates them into his sessions with individuals and couples.
Sponsor:
The Wellness Company
Website: https://www.twc.health/lovelife
Code: LOVELIFE for 15% off your order!
Dr. Karin & Pastor Elliott Anderson
Website: http://loveandlifemedia.com/
Empowered Dating Playbook: smarturl.it/EmpoweredDatingBook
Instagram: @dr.karin | @pastorelliottanderson
Have you ever been through a traumatic moment or event? With decades of experience helping individuals recover from trauma Elliott wanted to share 3 of his perspectives on how we can have a recovery mindset. Specifically, how do we move through the traumas we face throughout our lives?
- How do we stay present?
- How do we deal with feeling unsafe?
- Is it possible to live abundantly despite our traumas?
Join us as we explore how these perspectives can help us all navigate through pain, fear, and uncertainty, ultimately leading to emotional and spiritual growth and healing.
Sponsor:
The Wellness Company
Website: https://www.twc.health/lovelife
Code: LOVELIFE for 15% off your order!
Dr. Karin & Pastor Elliott Anderson
Website: http://loveandlifemedia.com/
Empowered Dating Playbook: smarturl.it/EmpoweredDatingBook
Instagram: @dr.karin | @pastorelliottanderson
I’m never on Facebook but I hopped on the other day to look at Marketplace.
I doom scrolled for just a minute (mistake🤦♀️) and saw some posts about the measles outbreak in Texas.
Some people were quite concerned. Some got a measles vaccines for the first time since childhood.
Others felt the whole thing was overblown. Yes, tragically, a child died. However, we don’t know if he/she had preexisting conditions or comorbidities. Nor do we know if he/she had been vaccinated against measles or received the MMR.
We DO know vaccines don’t 100% stop infection or transmission. (See COVID-19 jab for more info . . .)
This morning, I received an informative email from Stand for Health Freedom and I wanted to share it with our Love & Life family.
Join us for 8 Important Facts you need to know as you make decisions regarding the measles outbreak!
Source:
https://healthfreedominstitute.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/02/Measles-Fact-Sheet.pdf
Sponsor:
The Wellness Company
Website: https://www.twc.health/lovelife
Code: LOVELIFE for 15% off your order!
Dr. Karin & Pastor Elliott Anderson
Website: http://loveandlifemedia.com/
Empowered Dating Playbook: smarturl.it/EmpoweredDatingBook
Instagram: @dr.karin | @pastorelliottanderson
Question:What is the best way for a 49-year-old to meet a guy? In person or an app? Cuz it's rough out here!Answer:It’s a jungle out there. I should know. I spent 27 years on the dating scene. I get how frustrating it can be. 😫To address this question, I discuss some strategies that helped me when I was single—ones I talk about in my book, Single is the New Black: Don’t Wear White ‘til it’s Right. I also share how I met my husband through a dating service called It’s Just Lunch. (Hear more about IJL in episode 46 of Love & Life!)Elliott and I offer ways to reframe the frustrating reality of finding yourself out of step with where you hoped to be at a particular age.We also consider ways to utilize dating apps without getting completely burned out.Should you choose to hop on an app, be sure to check out my conversation with Dr. Duana Welch who met her husband on an app. It’s episode 169 of Love & Life (linked below)!Join us for some encouragement and support!Ep. 46 - https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/tired-of-dating-apps-try-its-just-lunch-an/id1183475201?i=1000426094502 Ep. 169 - https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/science-says-do-this-to-stop-hating-dating-apps-and/id1183475201?i=1000541395131 Sponsor:The Wellness CompanyWebsite: https://www.twc.health/lovelifeCode: LOVELIFE for 15% off your order!Dr. Karin & Pastor Elliott AndersonWebsite: http://loveandlifemedia.com/Empowered Dating Playbook: smarturl.it/EmpoweredDatingBookInstagram: @dr.karin | @pastorelliottanderson
Question:
I met this guy when I was 18 and he was 19. Three years later, I’ve chosen to break it off after realizing that no matter what, my family won’t accept us as a couple.
For context, I belong to an ethnoreligious group—marrying outside the faith is frowned upon, as we work to preserve our identity and heritage. He was raised Christian, but he’s not devout.
We never met each other's families, I would always be the one to talk about the future, while he just wanted to ''take it day by day.” He never talked about us with his parents or family.
I had several conversations with my mother and because I knew my family would never accept him, I decided it would be best to break it off. When we broke up, he started saying we would probably clash in the future since his family attends Christian church and believes in Jesus.
We chose to remain friends because we value our hobbies together and have the same interests. However, it is sometimes hard to set boundaries when it comes to romantic feelings.
How do I know if I made the right decision? Would it have been a mistake to leave my family, community, religion, and identity for my boyfriend?
Answer:
Listen to this week’s episode to hear our advice and recommendations for this listener!
Sponsor:
The Wellness Company
Website: https://www.twc.health/lovelife
Code: LOVELIFE for 15% off your order!
Dr. Karin & Pastor Elliott Anderson
Website: http://loveandlifemedia.com/
Empowered Dating Playbook: smarturl.it/EmpoweredDatingBook
Instagram: @dr.karin | @pastorelliottanderson
We all felt the immense pressure to get the COVID vaccine. Many were forced to jab in order to keep their jobs. In some cities, we couldn’t eat in restaurants, buy a cup of coffee, or attend a concert unless we showed proof of vaccination.
People rolled up their sleeves. Many regret it because they later learned the “vaccine”prevented neither infection nor transmission.
And then there’s the lingering question: did the spike protein remain in the arm or did it travel throughout the body?
One of our listeners fears the spike could continue to negatively impact her health. She asked us for advice. Does Scripture have a word of healing and encouragement for her?
Elliott and I discuss some uplifting Bible verses along with strategies from Cognitive Therapy to help her, “take captive every thought to make it obedient to God.” II Corinthians 10:5.
We also provide info regarding a Spike Detox supplement from The Wellness Company.
If you have any concerns about ridding your body of the spike protein check out our sponsor The Wellness Company below:
Sponsor:
The Wellness Company
Website: https://www.twc.health/lovelife
Code: LOVELIFE for 15% off your order!
Dr. Karin & Pastor Elliott Anderson
Website: http://loveandlifemedia.com/
Empowered Dating Playbook: smarturl.it/EmpoweredDatingBook
Instagram: @dr.karin | @pastorelliottanderson
Welcome to part 2 of Love & Life LIVE! Elliott and I recently spoke to his Personality Class at Judson University.
In part 2 of our conversation, we take a deep dive into Dr. Gary Chapman’s 5 Love Languages. We explore the importance of knowing how you and your partner like to give and receive love.
Elliott adds his 2 cents with 2 additional love languages he’s observed during his Elliott’s extensive work with couples 👩❤️👨.
If you’re single, this episode is still for you! I share insight from my MANY years in the jungle on the dating scene 😅
Join us for Part 2 of Love & Life LIVE!
Sources:
5 Love Languages, Dr. Gary Chapman
https://5lovelanguages.com/learn
Sponsor:
The Wellness Company
Website: https://www.twc.health/lovelife
Code: LOVELIFE for 15% off your order!
Dr. Karin & Pastor Elliott Anderson
Website: http://loveandlifemedia.com/
Empowered Dating Playbook: smarturl.it/EmpoweredDatingBook
Instagram: @dr.karin | @pastorelliottanderson
Welcome to a Love & Life Live! Elliott and I recently spoke to his Personality Class at Judson University and we wanted to share this evening with the Love & Life community.
In the spirit of Valentine’s Day, we focused on the personality of love.
Specifically, we delved into the following:
- What is true love? How do we know when we’re in it?
- How can we find the “Total Package?”
- Why are some relationships so incredibly hard?
- What does psych research teach us about the definition of love?
- How does understanding our own personality help us better pick our partner?
We bring Elliott’s extensive work with couples and my MANY years on the dating scene to this upbeat and interactive discussion.
Join us for Part 1 today and Part 2 tomorrow!
Sources:
Sternberg’s Triangle Theory of Love
https://www.verywellmind.com/types-of-love-we-experience-2303200
Lee’s Color Theory of Love
https://weddingbandmart.wordpress.com/2012/10/30/john-lees-theory-of-colors-of-love/
Sponsor:
The Wellness Company
Website: https://www.twc.health/lovelife
Code: LOVELIFE for 15% off your order!
Dr. Karin & Pastor Elliott Anderson
Website: http://loveandlifemedia.com/
Empowered Dating Playbook: smarturl.it/EmpoweredDatingBook
Instagram: @dr.karin | @pastorelliottanderson
The Valentine’s season can be difficult if you’re single and you don’t want to be. We’re wired for intimacy and connection—it’s normal to feel a huge void when we’re waiting to meet our person.
The season can also be rough for couples if your relationship is rocky. You’re supposed to feel all lovey-dovey, but at the moment, you really can’t stand your partner.
Your happily ever after” has turned into disaster.
Elliott and I discuss strategies to move through the season of love. I share how I handled my many Valentine’s Days as a single woman. Elliott provides insight from his 30+ years working with couples in crisis and marriage recovery.
Join us for love and support during the Valentine’s season!
Previous Episode Resources:
Ep. 303 - Paula Scanlan: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/save-womens-sports-with-former-upenn-swimmer-paula/id1183475201?i=1000655071522
Ep. 229 - How to Move Through Loneliness at Valentine's: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/how-to-move-through-loneliness-at-valentines-ep-229/id1183475201?i=1000598843007
Sponsor:
The Wellness Company
Website: https://www.twc.health/lovelife
Code: LOVELIFE for 15% off your order!
Dr. Karin & Pastor Elliott Anderson
Website: http://loveandlifemedia.com/
Empowered Dating Playbook: smarturl.it/EmpoweredDatingBook
Instagram: @dr.karin | @pastorelliottanderson
In today's episode, Dr. Karin and Pastor Elliott tackle a conversation they've been wanting to have for a long time: Toxic Masculinity vs. Toxic Femininity.
We cover the following:
-
Defining both toxicities (including A.I.'s definitions...)
-
How do these traits present themselves in individuals and within our relationships?
-
How does nature vs. nurture impact these traits?
-
What role does societal expectations play?
-
What's the Biblical perspective on this topic?
-
How do we navigate these gender dynamics?
Thank you for joining today. Please leave us comment and let us know what you think of this episode and other content you want us to cover in 2025!
Sponsor:
The Wellness Company
Website: https://www.twc.health/lovelife
Code: LOVELIFE for 15% off your order!
Dr. Karin & Pastor Elliott Anderson
Website: http://loveandlifemedia.com/
Empowered Dating Playbook: smarturl.it/EmpoweredDatingBook
Instagram: @dr.karin | @pastorelliottanderson
Inauguration Day brings up myriad emotions—either excitement and hope for a bright future or, fear, anger, and disappointment.
What happens when your dearest friends feel the exact opposite emotions?
Tim and I sit down for a few minutes to discuss the inauguration and specifically, the Make America Healthy Again Inaugural Ball which Dan and I attended on the 20th.
We reveled in the hope of RFKJ being nominated as Secretary of Health and Human Services. If confirmed, he can actually address issues that have been buried for years!
- The link between the CDC childhood vaccination schedule and the rise in autism.
- The enormous power Big Pharma wields over our government and public health—demonstrated most recently with COVID mandates.
- The failure of the FDA to protect us from carcinogenic pesticides like glyphosate.
Just to name a few!
But, what about our friends and family who feel threatened by other policy issues on the new administration’s agenda?
Do they see my enthusiasm for MAHA as a betrayal of our friendship?
Tim joins me to process this and more. ❤️🤍💙
Sponsor:
The Wellness Company
Website: https://www.twc.health/lovelife
Code: LOVELIFE for 15% off your order!
Dr. Karin & Pastor Elliott Anderson
Website: http://loveandlifemedia.com/
Empowered Dating Playbook: smarturl.it/EmpoweredDatingBook
Instagram: @dr.karin | @pastorelliottanderson
“How long will I be in trauma recovery?”
Whether we’re in therapy or working on our issues through self help books and podcasts, we often wonder, will I EVER truly heal from this wound?
Elliott and I wanted to address this important concern—especially because Elliott recently received this exact question from a listener.
Shortly thereafter, he stumbled upon a Keith Crossley reel speaking to this. Keith Crossley’s work is new to us—so we can’t vouch for all his viewpoints—but his perspective on what’s required for healing vs. recovery resonated with our philosophy.
Specifically, we consider:
- When we “own” our trauma and it becomes part of our core identity.
- The limitations inherent to a victim mentality vs. the possibilities of an empowered mindset!
- Why some counselors may unwittingly prolong clients’ recovery.
- What antidepressants and anti-anxiety meds actually do (spoiler alert: they DON’T heal!)
- God’s word to those hurting and trying to heal i.e. ALL of us!
If you’re feeling stuck and you’re looking for solutions, this conversation is for you! Please join us!
Sponsor:
The Wellness Company
Website: https://www.twc.health/lovelife
Code: LOVELIFE for 15% off your order!
Dr. Karin & Pastor Elliott Anderson
Website: http://loveandlifemedia.com/
Empowered Dating Playbook: smarturl.it/EmpoweredDatingBook
Instagram: @dr.karin | @pastorelliottanderson
A new year brings a fresh start—a chance to make changes and set goals!
We wanted to kick off 2025 by talking about the importance of reflection in the midst of making resolutions and intentions for the new year.
To do so, we’re answering a listener’s question.
Question: So, I make horrible choices in men apparently, and I have finally met somebody that I feel like is a good person—a perfect person for me. And, I’m absolutely terrified of him because he’s so nice and he’s so genuine, and he’s such a good person. How do I retrain my brain to not be scared of someone who is going to be good to me instead of settling for people who I know are just not good people?
Elliott and I answer her question by discussing how we can change dynamics that aren’t working for us. We share strategies from Cognitive Behavioral Therapy and Attachment Theory, along with how to see ourselves as God sees us. We also consider a tool I recently heard in an interview with Brené Brown—“What story am I telling myself?”
Sponsor:
The Wellness Company
Website: https://www.twc.health/lovelife
Code: LOVELIFE for 15% off your order!
Dr. Karin & Pastor Elliott Anderson
Website: http://loveandlifemedia.com/
Empowered Dating Playbook: smarturl.it/EmpoweredDatingBook
Instagram: @dr.karin | @pastorelliottanderson
The holidays can be rough. Family dynamics can be complicated and messy. On today's special Christmas Eve episode we dive into a question Elliott received from a listener about how to deal with difficult family dynamics after a divorce that involves kids. We hope today's episode will give you a sense of support and encouragement during this holiday season. Merry Christmas and thank you for listening! Sponsor:The Wellness CompanyWebsite: https://www.twc.health/lovelifeCode: LOVELIFE for 15% off your order!Dr. Karin & Pastor Elliott AndersonWebsite: http://loveandlifemedia.com/Empowered Dating Playbook: smarturl.it/EmpoweredDatingBookInstagram: @dr.karin | @pastorelliottanderson
Christmas time is here! We’re supposed to feel merry and bright!
But, what if we don’t feel joyful at all? What if we’re pretty darn miserable?
Maybe you’re grieving—it’s the first Christmas since your father passed away.
Maybe you’re lonely—you’re staring down yet another round of holiday parties without a plus 1.
Maybe you’re worried—your kid’s hanging with the wrong crowd.
Maybe you’re depressed—your divorce was just finalized.
How can we experience the joy of the season in the midst of deep emotional suffering?
Elliott and I share our thoughts, along with recommendations and support from Scripture for embracing the beauty of Christmas despite the pain of current circumstances.
Sponsor:
The Wellness Company
Website: https://www.twc.health/lovelife
Code: LOVELIFE for 15% off your order!
Dr. Karin & Pastor Elliott Anderson
Website: http://loveandlifemedia.com/
Empowered Dating Playbook: smarturl.it/EmpoweredDatingBook
Instagram: @dr.karin | @pastorelliottanderson
Another current event weaves its way into our series on masculinity . . .
This week I heard Newsweek’s Batya Ungar-Sargon’s take on the Daniel Penny prosecution.
She viewed it in a way I hadn’t considered. She framed the prosecution itself as an attack on masculinity.
I wanted to hear Elliott’s thoughts as a pastor, husband, and father.
Has our society completely turned its back on men’s God given instinct to protect?
Join us for another Love & Life commentary on current events.
As for you, you meant evil against me, but God meant it for good, to bring it about that many people should be kept alive, as they are today. Genesis 50:20
Sponsor:
The Wellness Company
Website: https://www.twc.health/lovelife
Code: LOVELIFE for 15% off your order!
Dr. Karin & Pastor Elliott Anderson
Website: http://loveandlifemedia.com/
Empowered Dating Playbook: smarturl.it/EmpoweredDatingBook
Instagram: @dr.karin | @pastorelliottanderson
It’s the most wonderful time of year! And also, it’s a season full of intense emotions.
We head out to parties to celebrate with friends and family. But, what if we don’t connect with our loved ones the way we used to? What if our family doesn’t understand who we’ve become?
As the saying goes, “You always hurt the ones you love.”
And, those we love will hurt us, too.
This week, Elliott and I answer 2 questions about how to relate to those we care about when we find ourselves in different seasons of life. How can we navigate these waters—especially during the holidays?
We share practical strategies for maintaining connection while also establishing boundaries when necessary.
Sponsor:
The Wellness Company
Website: https://www.twc.health/lovelife
Code: LOVELIFE for 15% off your order!
Dr. Karin & Pastor Elliott Anderson
Website: http://loveandlifemedia.com/
Empowered Dating Playbook: smarturl.it/EmpoweredDatingBook
Instagram: @dr.karin | @pastorelliottanderson
On today's podcast we are joined by one of our listeners Rachel Hui who shares her personal story on how her marriage ended and the journey she's been on to find healing in the aftermath of divorce.
We are so grateful for Rachel's courage and vulnerability to share her story and we hope it will inspire you.
Sponsor:
The Wellness Company
Website: https://www.twc.health/lovelife
Code: LOVELIFE for 15% off your order!
Dr. Karin & Pastor Elliott Anderson
Website: http://loveandlifemedia.com/
Empowered Dating Playbook: smarturl.it/EmpoweredDatingBook
Instagram: @dr.karin | @pastorelliottanderson
It struck him as he was working with his clients over the last several weeks.
Americans are divided—much like couples in crisis are divided.
We’re dysregulated from the trauma of an incredibly contentious election and thus, we’re now prone to slip into what Elliott calls the “3 A’s of Intimacy Destruction.”
We Assume, Accuse, and Attack—just like spouses in unhappy marriages.
We Assume the worst in the “other side.” We Accuse them of horrible intentions and actions. We Attack them for their character and values.
We remain rigid in our conceptions of one another. We lose appreciation for the fullness of our friends and family. We see only one aspect of them—who they voted for.
And, if they voted for __________________, they’re now the enemy.
Elliott has witnessed similar dynamics with couples in distress. He shares how techniques from marital therapy could help heal our divided nation.
Sponsor:
The Wellness Company
Website: https://www.twc.health/lovelife
Code: LOVELIFE for 15% off your order!
Dr. Karin & Pastor Elliott Anderson
Website: http://loveandlifemedia.com/
Empowered Dating Playbook: smarturl.it/EmpoweredDatingBook
Instagram: @dr.karin | @pastorelliottanderson
The election is behind us, but the division remains.
And, the demonstrations are just getting going. Movements like 4B and Blue Bracelets express rage at men and Trump voters in general.
Women are swearing off sex, shaving off their hair, and wearing bracelets to signify to each other who is “safe” to be around.
Can we possibly remain connected during this volitile time?
I think we can 🙏🏻
And, to navigate these rough waters, I share some thoughts and tools from psychotherapy that could be helpful.
Specifically, we cover:
- How to remain grounded in empathy—especially when friends see your vote as an attack on their values and the people they care about.
- Techniques from Cognitive Behavioral Therapy to help us identify cognitive distortions that aren’t serving us.
- Why emotional cutoffs tend NOT to be the solution!
Whether you’re happy with the results or deeply disappointed, your relationships have likely been impacted.
Please join us for strategies to move through Post Election Stress Disorder!
Sponsors:
The Wellness Company
Website: https://www.twc.health/lovelife
Code: LOVELIFE for 15% off your order!
Dr. Karin & Pastor Elliott Anderson
Website: http://loveandlifemedia.com/
Empowered Dating Playbook: smarturl.it/EmpoweredDatingBook
Instagram: @dr.karin | @pastorelliottanderson
With the election now behind us, Elliott and I wanted to share thoughts on how to navigate love and life post election—especially concerning our relationships.
Because half the country is really happy with the results, while the other half feels angry, demoralized, and even afraid.
Specifically, we consider:
- How do we build unity in the midst of so much divisiveness?
- Can we find common ground?
- What does the Bible teach us about submitting to leadership and those in authority?
Join us as Elliott and I discuss how to move through the post election landscape—one in which people we love may feel deep distress, disappointment, and perhaps even anger at those who voted for Trump.
Sponsors:
Authentixx
Website: http://www.authentixx.com
Code: LOVELIFE for 10% off your order!
The Wellness Company
Website: https://www.twc.health/lovelife
Code: LOVELIFE for 15% off your order!
Dr. Karin & Pastor Elliott Anderson
Website: http://loveandlifemedia.com/
Empowered Dating Playbook: smarturl.it/EmpoweredDatingBook
Instagram: @dr.karin | @pastorelliottanderson
On a day when many Progressives will go to the polls to vote for a “woman,” I’d like to share a few thoughts around the misogyny inherent to Leftists’ ideology.
Their logic breaks down immediately as they can’t define what a woman is. So, how can they get excited about voting for a woman hoping she’ll be the first woman president? 🤷♀️ They’ve already established that womanhood is meaningless!!!
Furthermore, the party that prides itself on “female empowerment” nevertheless signals they disparage women at every turn.
- They think we’re weak.
- They think we’re stupid. Cue Mark Cuban.
- They think the female experience can be fully understood by a man in drag.
Finally, the Left asserts the best women are men—certainly in sports, and even in pop culture. In doing so, they advocate for the erasure of women.
I can’t think of a better example of misogyny. Join us for a quick breakdown of voting for a woman because she’s a woman, when one can’t even define what a woman is . . .
Sponsors:
Authentixx
Website: http://www.authentixx.com
Code: LOVELIFE for 10% off your order!
The Wellness Company
Website: https://www.twc.health/lovelife
Code: LOVELIFE for 15% off your order!
Dr. Karin & Pastor Elliott Anderson
Website: http://loveandlifemedia.com/
Empowered Dating Playbook: smarturl.it/EmpoweredDatingBook
Instagram: @dr.karin | @pastorelliottanderson
I know most people want to move on from COVID.
And, maybe you’re ready to move on from the election.
But, it’s all related—COVID, the election, and our platform of mind, body, & spirit.
I have some thoughts.
Plus, I’d like to explain why I’m voting for “literal Hitler” and his MAGA + MAHA team of courageous dissidents—RFK, Jr., Tulsi, and Elon.
To do so, I respond to 3 current bits of news:
- Biden calling Trump supporters “garbage.”
- Harris’ cringy TV ad depicting wives defying their husbands by voting for Harris.
- The 3 platforms of the MAHA movement—1️⃣ Restoring Free Speech and ending censorship 2️⃣ Exposing the corruption of Big Ag and Big Pharma which is destroying Americans’ health and 3️⃣ Stop the never ending foreign wars.
I don’t hold back. We’d love to hear your thoughts!
Sponsors:
Authentixx
Website: http://www.authentixx.com
Code: LOVELIFE for 10% off your order!
The Wellness Company
Website: https://www.twc.health/lovelife
Code: LOVELIFE for 15% off your order!
Dr. Karin & Pastor Elliott Anderson
Website: http://loveandlifemedia.com/
Empowered Dating Playbook: smarturl.it/EmpoweredDatingBook
Instagram: @dr.karin | @pastorelliottanderson
It’s such a heated issue—and people on each side believe those who disagree with them are abusing children.
In the last 10 years, we’ve witnessed an exponential increase in the number of kids who feel as if they’re the wrong sex.
Although Gender Dysphoria Disorder remains a psychiatric illness per the DSM-5-TR, it currently is viewed quite differently when compared to other mental conditions.
We don’t “affirm” Obsessive Compulsive Disorder or Bipolar or schizophrenia. We treat clients by providing coping mechanisms and helping them ground themselves in reality.
But, we don’t do this with Gender Dysphoria Disorder.
Why is this? Why do we abandon logic, reasoning, and science when addressing Gender Dysphoria?
As a psychiatric nurse, David Wayne finds this confusing, frustrating, and appalling—especially as it pertains to the US’s current approach to treating kids who decide they’re actually the opposite sex.
Join us for an insider’s take on what’s really going on with gender “affirming” care.
Sponsors:
Authentixx
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David Wayne
Website: https://www.describe.health/
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Dr. Karin & Pastor Elliott Anderson
Website: http://loveandlifemedia.com/
Empowered Dating Playbook: smarturl.it/EmpoweredDatingBook
Instagram: @dr.karin | @pastorelliottanderson
We’re in the midst of a series on masculinity, so I had to weigh in on this one, and I looped in Producer Tim to get a Millennial male’s take.
You’ve probably seen the clip of Jen Psaki interviewing Kamala Harris’ husband, Doug Emhoff.
Psaki claimed Emhoff has, “reshaped the perception of masculinity.”
Really?
Psaki then called him a “wife guy.”
Okay . . .
And sure, maybe Doug Emhoff is a super sweet and supportive husband. That’s great!
But, there seemed to be a partisan subtext beneath this exchange. Watching the clip, I had the sense Psaki was insinuating only liberal men fully support their wives.
I wanted to share my reaction to this clip and, Tim agreed to join me.
Spoiler alert: Over my 27 years of dating, I’ve had relationships with both very liberal and very conservative men. I married a conservative. And no one has ever cherished, respected, and adored me more than my conservative husband.
So personally, I’m not picking up what Psaki is laying down.
Join us and let us know your thoughts masculinity and wife guys.
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Instagram: @dr.karin | @pastorelliottanderson
Elliott and I didn’t grow up with a lot of political discourse. Our family delved into a wide array of topics, but as educators and musicians, we tended to discuss chord charts and pop tunes more than public policy.
In fact, as most of you know, our father was a lifelong Democrat and our mother is a lifelong Republican. Yet, they possessed the same core values, had a strong 57 year marriage, and raised three well-adjusted kids. Could that happen nowadays?
During most of our lifetime, it was considered impolite to bring up religion and politics. And, pastors often refrained entirely from wading into political waters.
But to me, these times feel different. I was curious if Elliott sensed the same.
So, today we address questions around faith and politics.
We specifically ask:
- Should Christians vote?
- Is it appropriate for pastors to discuss politics from the pulpit?
- Are certain party values for Christian than others?
When Elliott became a pastor, our Dad encouraged him to speak boldly. We’ll honor our father’s wishes and boldly discuss our hot takes on these hot topics.
Join us!
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Dr. Karin & Pastor Elliott Anderson
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Empowered Dating Playbook: smarturl.it/EmpoweredDatingBook
Instagram: @dr.karin | @pastorelliottanderson
Psychiatric nurse and friend of the program, David Wayne, is back to discuss what he recently shared on Children’s Health Defense’s CHD.TV.
In addition to nursing, Dave has a background in data analytics. Throughout the COVID era, he tried to make sense of the vaccinated vs. unvaccinated hospitalizations—the numbers weren’t adding up.
Databases weren’t talking to each other. Default modes labeled patients as unvaccinated when in MANY cases, these patients had taken the COVID shot.
For those of us who endured derision and scorn for our “selfish” and “irresponsible” choice to abstain from injecting ourselves with a rushed-to-market, mRNA product with no longitudinal studies confirming its safety and efficacy—well for us, these numbers matter.
It matters that, in fact, more COVID hospitalizations occurred among the vaccinated.
It matters that the shot neither prevented infection nor stopped transmission.
And, it matters that a recent study from the Cleveland Clinic found the more jabs and boosters you took, the MORE likely you are to get COVID.
Dave and I discuss the appalling lack of science guiding our government’s COVID response and the tyrannical jab mandates the administration forced upon us—we’re still astounded.
If you feel the same—and even if you don’t!—Please join us as our favorite hospital insider reveals what was really going on!
Citation:
Cleveland Clinic Studies
https://www.medrxiv.org/content/10.1101/2024.04.27.24306378v2
https://www.medrxiv.org/content/10.1101/2022.12.17.22283625v5
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David Wayne
Website: https://www.describe.health/
X: https://x.com/DescribeHealth
Dr. Karin & Pastor Elliott Anderson
Website: http://loveandlifemedia.com/
Empowered Dating Playbook: smarturl.it/EmpoweredDatingBook
Instagram: @dr.karin | @pastorelliottanderson
Growing up is tough. Growing up with a father wound is even tougher.
As we continue our series on masculinity, we’re addressing the complexities of father wounds on sons.
How do boys grow into men when their model for manhood has been abusive or absent?
One of Elliott’s mentees, Bradley Oberrieder, joins us to share his journey—how his father abandoned his family just as Bradley was moving from adolescence to young adulthood.
How do you step into manhood when you no longer respect your dad—your model of manhood?
If you’ve experienced a father wound—or you’re dating a man who has—please join us for an honest and hopeful account of masculinity in the midst of a father wound.
Sponsors:
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Dr. Karin & Pastor Elliott Anderson
Website: http://loveandlifemedia.com/
Empowered Dating Playbook: smarturl.it/EmpoweredDatingBook
Instagram: @dr.karin | @pastorelliottanderson
Dan and I are heading to Rescue the Republic in DC this weekend!
I wanted to share Rescue the Republic’s 8 pillars with Elliott to hear his thoughts.
- War is always the last resort vs. Military Industrial Complex
- Sanctify/recodify informed consent vs. Medical Industrial Complex
- Banish state media control, surveillance and propaganda vs. Censorship Industrial Complex
- Enact a rational boarder policy vs. Immigration Industrial Complex
- End lawfare and abuse of the judicial system vs. Injustice Industrial Complex
- Secure monetary freedom vs. Finance Industrial Complex
- Restore family sovereignty vs. Developmental Industrial Complex
- Return to truth-seeking and open dialogue vs. Academic Industrial Complex
For most of our lives, Americans took for granted the values that underpin these pillars. We agreed on these tenets. They were givens.
Not so much anymore.
Rescue the Republic will bring together Americans from all walks of life and political persuasions. It’s a unity coalition led by Dr. Bret Weinstein (evolutionary biologist), RFK, Jr., Tulsi Gabbard, and others who were formerly on the left but now feel politically homeless.
Elliott shares his thoughts on the movement. What does the Bible say about these pillars?
I still believe Americans can find common ground. Praying for unity. Praying for peace. Praying for freedom.
If you want to rescue the republic, too, please join us in DC or at least, join us for this conversation!
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Recently, I heard a term, “testosteroni.” It was used in a pejorative manner to describe “testosterone-laden” men. In the conversation, these testosterone-laden men were pitted against a kinder, gentler model of manhood.
I wasn’t sure just what they were getting at. But, I had questions.
- Is testosterone inherently a bad thing?
- Does it cause problems for men?
- How does it impact our perception of masculinity in general?
- Does testosterone end up being a disadvantage in our modern world?
- Why cast aspersions at a hormone? (One which women also possess, by the way).
I wanted to hear Elliott’s thoughts about Testosteronis vs. Beta Males.
We delve into all this and more as we continue our “What is a Man?” series. Please join us!
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Empowered Dating Playbook: smarturl.it/EmpoweredDatingBook
Instagram: @dr.karin | @pastorelliottanderson
Q: I’m 34 and dating a 44-year-old man who rents out a room to a cutie 21-year-old for a very fair price and sometimes, he goes out with her and her friends and buys their drinks.
I’m not sure how I feel about that. He believes it’s socially acceptable but I disagree and see it as predatory. But I also want to be understanding and I’m unsure if I’m being insecure and unreasonable about the situation.
A: Join us to hear our response to our listener’s question!
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Empowered Dating Playbook: smarturl.it/EmpoweredDatingBook
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As a psychiatric nurse, David Wayne believed wholeheartedly in the veracity of medical research and the necessity of pharmaceutical interventions—until he saw how ineffective and at times, harmful, these “treatments” were.
He began to question his profession—especially psychiatry’s pharmaceutical “solution” for every mental health concern.
Then COVID descended, and because he chose not to inject an experimental substance into his body, he got fired from his hospital.
To support others losing their jobs, he attended protests against the COVID shot mandates. He found himself alongside others who shared his values around health freedom. But, he was surprised to learn many of these dissidents were people of faith.
He discovered they weren’t at all “anti science.” They just knew science must be questioned—always! And, science doesn’t belong solely to government officials or three letter agencies. Furthermore, these dissidents put their faith in God, as opposed to Fauci.
As a psychiatric nurse, David had questioned the tenets of his profession. Now, he began to question his understanding of God and faith.
COVID profoundly changed all of us in various ways. Four years into the COVID era, more and more psychologists and psychiatrists are questioning Pharma’s hold on our profession—not to mention its regulatory capture of governmental institutions such as the FDA and CDC.
If you’re waking up to the Pharma cartel, this episode’s for you!
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Instagram: @dr.karin | @pastorelliottanderson
The election is upon us and the political divide—well, it’s probably better described as a chasm.
So, we weren’t surprised to receive this question from a listener:
“I’ve seen this rhetoric start to pop up on social media, leading into the election: ‘Don’t tell someone you love them, and then vote for someone who will hurt them.’
How do we deal with this type of divisive statement?”
Our listener also indicated she’s single and in her 40s. She’s an only child, so her friends are absolutely family to her.
Yet, if she votes for a particular candidate, her friends believe she’s choosing to hurt them.
I had a lot of thoughts about this. Like our listener, I have many friends who take issue with my choices around such issues. Most of these friends won’t talk to me about why I hold these values.
Many people would recommend we steer clear of these topics. Then again, if we don’t talk about what matters most to us, how can we have deep, authentic relationships?
Elliott and I share how we would respond to a friend who asked us, “How can you say you love me, yet you’re voting for someone who hurts me?”
Elliott brings in the spiritual—“For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places.” (Ephesians 6:12)
I postulate that the “powers that be” gin up “culture wars” to keep us attacking each other, rather than recognizing how the ruling class//oligarchs continue to oppress us.
If you’re struggling to navigate political divisiveness this election season, please join us!
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Elliott didn’t know about this—I’m way more into current events than he is—so I decided to inform him during our episode. I wanted him to share his thoughts as a therapist, husband, father, and perhaps most importantly, as a pastor.
Abortion is a heavy, sensitive, and painful, subject—at least, it used to be. Clinton claimed it should be, “Safe, legal, and rare.”
Now women are encouraged to, “Shout Your Abortion!”
What’s going on?
I share some theories as to how we’ve arrived at this place—views around Second and Third Wave Feminism and how women have fought for a sexual revolution that fails to serve us, but works for men just fine.
We integrate our question, “What is a Man?” throughout the conversation. Elliott asserts that men may have failed women which also relates to the current landscape of women displaying their fielty to a political party by killing their unborn children.
Join us for another Love & Life Current Events episode and hear Elliott’s og story of getting kicked out of Social Studies during an 8th grade current events unit! 😉
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Empowered Dating Playbook: smarturl.it/EmpoweredDatingBook
Instagram: @dr.karin | @pastorelliottanderson
Today Pastor Elliott and Producer Tim continue our series on "What is a Man?"
In his work as a counselor and pastor Elliott has developed a thesis for what he believes makes up the theology of a man based on the book of Genesis.
Specifically Elliott dives into the following topics:
- Accountability
- Responsibility
- Sacrifice
- Interdependence
- And how men facility all of these topics into their lives personally, relationally, and ultimately into their communities at large.
We hope this episode will provide insights into your personal relationships and lead you to a life of thriving in your mind, body, and spirit!
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Dr. Karin & Pastor Elliott Anderson
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Empowered Dating Playbook: smarturl.it/EmpoweredDatingBook
Instagram: @dr.karin | @pastorelliottanderson
As you’ve likely heard, last week Olympic boxer Imane Khelif beat Angela Carini in a bout that lasted only 46 seconds.
Carini said of Khelif’s punch to her nose, “I’ve never been hit so hard in my life.”
Controversy ensued because just last year, Khelif had been disqualified from competing in the World Boxing Championships in the women’s category because of testosterone levels that were higher than permissible.
In prior Love & Life episodes, we’ve addressed the touchy subject of men competing against women. We interviewed Paula Scanlan (former UPenn swimmer) in episode 303, author Kara Dansky (The Abolition of Sex: How the “Transgender” Agenda Harms Women and Girls) in episode 245, and radical feminist Isabella Malbin in episode 193.
With the current controversy still brewing, Elliott and I wanted to share our thoughts. We speak to realities of developmental psychology and biology, along with a Biblical vantage point.
We tackle two questions many people currently struggle to answer or would prefer to avoid, “What is a man?” and “What is a woman?”
Elliott and I start with basic biology—if you have XX, chromosomes you are female. If you have XY chromosomes, you are male.
That being said, in some very rare cases of genetic anomalies, determining a person’s sex can be more complicated. Intersexed individuals (or, what is now known as DSD—Disorders of Sex Development) make up 0.018% (Sax, 2022).
We strive to approach this topic from a place of love. As a husband, father, and big brother, Elliott wants to protect girls and women. As a former female athlete, aunt, and stepmother, I want to protect women’s sports and the future of womanhood itself.
Join us for a conversation we need to have, yet many avoid.
Sax L. How common is intersex? a response to Anne Fausto-Sterling. J Sex Res. 2002 Aug;39(3):174-8. doi: 10.1080/00224490209552139. PMID: 12476264.
Fun fact! The author of the article above appeared on Love & Life in episodes 33 and 34!
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Empowered Dating Playbook: smarturl.it/EmpoweredDatingBook
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Our world feels increasingly chaotic and morally inverted. And for those who remain skeptical and endeavor to think critically and rationally, it’s extremely overwhelming.
As you know from episode 294 “COVID Trauma: How to Move Through Post COVID Stress Disorder,” Elliott and I have lost trust in many, if not most, of the institutions we once thought were at least somewhat honorable.
Who can we trust? What’s going on behind the scenes? Who’s actually in charge and why are they so determined to strip us of our rights?
I frequently listen to Dr. Joseph Mercola’s podcast and when I heard his interview with Dr. Leland Stillman, I immediately bought Dr. Stillman’s book, Dying to be Free: How America's Ruling Class Is Killing and Bankrupting Americans, and What to Do About It.
I devoured the book in a few days. It covers an enormous amount of ground and provides answers to questions like the ones I posed above.
If you’re not familiar with Dr. Leland Stillman and his work, I’m thrilled to introduce you to him in today’s episode.
Our father told us to “Take Charge” in every aspect of our lives. If you want to know how to take charge in these oppressive times, this episode is for you!
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Empowered Dating Playbook: smarturl.it/EmpoweredDatingBook
Instagram: @dr.karin | @pastorelliottanderson
My father-in-law passed away a month ago. We knew his death was imminent, so we weren’t caught off guard, but I was definitely surprised by the depth of my grief. I’d only known Max for 14 years and because I was in my 40s when I joined the Abrell family, I hadn’t had the years of connection with him. Yet my grief was significant and multifaceted.
My mom, Elliott, and our brother, Warren, attended the funeral. At the end of the service, Dan opened up the floor for anyone who might want to say something to honor Max. I tried to get my courage up but I was afraid I’d cry too hard and make everyone feel uncomfortable.
I left the service full of regret for not having shared how much Max meant to me, and how blessed I felt to have been his daughter-in-law. Even though I didn’t have the chance to know Max longer, I nevertheless feel his influence every day in my marriage. He raised the love of my life and for that, I’m so incredibly grateful.
I wish I’d shared these thoughts with those who attended the funeral.
At the meal after the service, Elliott told me how learning more about Max stirred within him ideas about what it means to be a man of honor, integrity, and character. Since he works with young men and teaches them at Judson University, he sees how much GenZers could learn from the men of Max’s generation!
To make up for my lack of courage at the funeral, we decided to kick off our new series, “What is a Man?” with a tribute to one of the best there’s ever been—Max L. Abrell.
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As psychotherapists, Elliott and I obviously view love and life through a psychological lens. We take a holistic approach to love and life—underscoring the interaction of our mind, body, and spirit. Elliott takes this approach in his role as a pastor, too. He reads the Bible and interprets scripture through this lens. God designed psychology—meaning, how God created human thinking and behaving.
Which is why I love Elliott’s recent sermon and why we wanted to share it with you. Elliott describes 3 simple, Biblically based steps we can take to level up your mindset—or as the Bible puts it, “renew your mind.”
I claim they’re simple steps, but I don’t mean to suggest they’re easy. That being said, since God created us and therefore knows best how our minds work, it makes perfect sense to look to His word in our efforts to renew our minds or, as we say on Love & Life, “take charge of your thoughts to take charge of your life!”
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Empowered Dating Playbook: smarturl.it/EmpoweredDatingBook
Instagram: @dr.karin | @pastorelliottanderson
Please enjoy this conversation Dr. Karin had on the Single and Not Settling podcast!
A note from Vanessa of Single and Not Settling:
"This is absolutely a dream come true. I was so nervous throughout this interview as I could have pinched myself, achieving this goal of mine. You see in 2020 after I was ghosted and the world shut down, I found a podcast by Dr Karin. Her advice on dating and relationships gave me hope, taught me so much of what I know today but also helped me dive deeper into why I was choosing the wrong men, it all began to make sense!! On this platform I created, I saw it as an opportunity to personally thank Dr Karin for having such an impact on my life, where I am today and where I continue to grow.
Dr Karin is such a genuine person, so kind and has the best sense of humour!
I am so proud of myself and proud of this episode.
I hope you gain value from Dr Karin as much as I have throughout the years."
In this exciting episode of "Single and NOT Settling," Vanessa Maree sits down with Dr. Karin Anderson Abrell, a psychologist, author, and captivating speaker.
Dr. Karin opens up about her own experience as a "runaway bride" and so much more! Tune in to discover:
The struggle of walking away from a relationship that seems "good enough."
Dealing with the guilt that follows once you've left that relationship behind, and how Dr. Karin finally let go of that guilt.
Insights into ghosting and navigating the world of dating apps.
The importance of understanding your values and finding someone who shares those same values.
High-status dating: What it entails and the impact when women take the lead in dating.
Exploring Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) and how it can transform negative thoughts into positive outlooks, especially on your dating journey.
Don't miss out on this empowering conversation packed with valuable insights for your dating journey!
Dr Karin's Empowered Dating Playbook: smarturl.it/EmpoweredDatingBook
I'd love to connect with you on Instagram! Head over to
@vanessamaree_wingwoman
________________________________________________
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Dr. Karin & Pastor Elliott Anderson
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Instagram: @dr.karin | @pastorelliottanderson
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Recently, I read an article in Time Magazine titled, “America Has Reached Peak Therapy. Why Is Our Mental Health Getting Worse?”
Obviously, the content was quite sobering. How is it that mental health awareness is up, stigma is down—and yet, we’re more depressed and anxious than ever!?!
I knew I wanted to discuss the article with Elliott and share it with the Love & Life community.
Specifically, we unpack:
- The unintended consequences of a culture of “Mental Health Awareness.”
- How health insurance impacts the practice of psychotherapy—and even our understanding of emotional distress in general.
- How changes in counselors’ training programs affect not only the therapist/client relationship, but also the psychological community as a whole.
Oh, and let’s not forget Pharma. The realities we highlight throughout the episode wouldn’t be occurring without a healthy dose—pun intended—of Big Pharma influence.
Join us as we break down the current landscape while also providing hope for a more holistic, empowered approach to emotional wellbeing!
Article: https://time.com/6308096/therapy-mental-health-worse-us/
Simon Says by Elliott Anderson: https://www.amazon.com/Simon-Says-Principles-Perspectives-Anderson/dp/0915725207/ref=sr_1_1?crid=21PGSPXG7KW7C&dib=eyJ2IjoiMSJ9.Kqa9NtnahBSuA6fJUyPREA.6ErqUgC2UO2Knyzxu7gH7227M7SxOuadKhb9ZenpX6w&dib_tag=se&keywords=simon+says+elliott+anderson&qid=1717619097&sprefix=simon+says+elliott+anderson%2Caps%2C135&sr=8-1
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Dr. Karin & Pastor Elliott Anderson
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Empowered Dating Playbook: smarturl.it/EmpoweredDatingBook
Instagram: @dr.karin | @pastorelliottanderson
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No surprise, Elliott and I had plenty to say on this topic so we broke up the debate into two parts.
In part 1 (ep. 304), Elliott and I tackled 3 questions:
- Are younger couples more at risk of codependency because they marry before their identities are sufficiently formed?
- Do older couples struggle to adjust to the division of labor and day to day norms because they’re “stuck in their ways?”
- What about extended family relationships? Are these easier to develop if we marry younger?
In today’s episode we continue the debate by considering 3 more questions:
- Do couples who marry when they’re older struggle more with trust and expectations because they’ve often been hurt many times before? Do they bring more “baggage” to the relationship?
- What about the biological clock?
- When a husband or wife pivots dramatically regarding career, passions, or goals, is this adjustment easier for younger couples? Or, might older couples take this transition in stride?
Join us for part 2 of our “debate” about when it’s best to marry!
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The Wellness Company
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Code: LOVELIFE for 15% off your order!
Dr. Karin & Pastor Elliott Anderson
Website: http://loveandlifemedia.com/
Empowered Dating Playbook: smarturl.it/EmpoweredDatingBook
Instagram: @dr.karin | @pastorelliottanderson
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Recently Dr. Karin appeared on the Odyssey Resilience podcast to discuss dating and anxiety!
From Odyssey Resilience:
“Dr. Karin Anderson Abrell is a psychologist, author, podcast host, and musician. Her book, Single is the New Black: Don't Wear White 'Til It's Right is a word of empowerment to singles—encouraging them to stay strong amidst “single shaming,” live life on their own terms, and never ever settle for anything less than an extraordinary relationship. A former professor, Dr. Karin now hosts Love & Life—a podcast providing informative discussions grounded in an holistic understanding of psychology to help us thrive in all realms of love and life. She can be found on Instagram @dr.karin and X @DrKarinAnderson and on her website, www.loveandlifemedia.com.”
Learn more about Odyssey Resilience here: https://www.odysseyresilience.org/
Sponsors:
Authentixx
Website: http://www.authentixx.com
Code: LOVELIFE for 10% off your order!
The Wellness Company
Website: https://www.twc.health/lovelife
Code: LOVELIFE for 15% off your order!
Dr. Karin & Pastor Elliott Anderson
Website: http://loveandlifemedia.com/
Empowered Dating Playbook: smarturl.it/EmpoweredDatingBook
Instagram: @dr.karin | @pastorelliottanderson
--- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/love-and-life-media/message
Recently Dr. Karin appeared on the Odyssey Resilience podcast to discuss dating and anxiety!
From Odyssey Resilience:
“Dr. Karin Anderson Abrell is a psychologist, author, podcast host, and musician. Her book, Single is the New Black: Don't Wear White 'Til It's Right is a word of empowerment to singles—encouraging them to stay strong amidst “single shaming,” live life on their own terms, and never ever settle for anything less than an extraordinary relationship. A former professor, Dr. Karin now hosts Love & Life—a podcast providing informative discussions grounded in an holistic understanding of psychology to help us thrive in all realms of love and life. She can be found on Instagram @dr.karin and X @DrKarinAnderson and on her website, www.loveandlifemedia.com.”
Learn more about Odyssey Resilience here: https://www.odysseyresilience.org/
Sponsors:
Authentixx
Website: http://www.authentixx.com
Code: LOVELIFE for 10% off your order!
The Wellness Company
Website: https://www.twc.health/lovelife
Code: LOVELIFE for 15% off your order!
Dr. Karin & Pastor Elliott Anderson
Website: http://loveandlifemedia.com/
Empowered Dating Playbook: smarturl.it/EmpoweredDatingBook
Instagram: @dr.karin | @pastorelliottanderson
--- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/love-and-life-media/message
Elliott and I have been meaning to debate this question for a while now—so here it is!
Elliott married at the tender age of 22 and, as for me, I was 42 before Dan and I tied the knot.
We both have strong, loving marriages. We’re both incredibly happy. But, we took very different paths.
Over the years, we’ve had fun taking sides—with Elliott proclaiming the benefits of marrying young and me asserting it’s better to wait.
But, what does research say? And, which couples end up in Elliott’s office due to crises? Those who married younger or older?
Join us for part 1 of our “debate” about when it’s best to marry.
Spoiler alert: Elliott actually concedes a point to me—this rarely ever happens in any disputes we have! But, I’m guessing I’ll be conceding a few points to him in part 2. :-)
Sponsors:
Authentixx
Website: http://www.authentixx.com
Code: LOVELIFE for 10% off your order!
The Wellness Company
Website: https://www.twc.health/lovelife
Code: LOVELIFE for 15% off your order!
Dr. Karin & Pastor Elliott Anderson
Website: http://loveandlifemedia.com/
Empowered Dating Playbook: smarturl.it/EmpoweredDatingBook
Instagram: @dr.karin | @pastorelliottanderson
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Imagine this: you’ve worked your whole life to swim at the collegiate level. You make the team at an Ivy League school. All those sacrifices paid off—you’re competing at the elite level!And then, before your sophomore year, a guy joins the team. His name is Will, but he now goes by Lia because during his junior year, he decided he was a woman and started hormone therapy.You don’t think it’s right that a 6’1” man will take the place of a female teammate–a girl who’s worked as hard as you did to earn her spot on the roster. Furthermore, you’re uncomfortable with a man changing in the women’s locker room.You mention this and you’re told, “You should get some psychological support.”None of this makes sense. None of it is fair. But, if you discuss it—even with your teammates—you’re called “transphobic.”You stop talking about it because no one’s listening. You finish your senior year and then head to New York for your first job.But, you’re still mad about it. You know men competing against women is wrong. You realized it’s bigger than the injustice you endured—women’s sports are at risk of extinction.You break your silence and join The Independent Women’s Forum—an organization devoted to protecting women’s rights in the midst of a culture that permits men to invade female spaces.This is exactly what happened to Paula Scanlan. She shares her story today on Love & Life.Sponsors:Authentixx Website: http://www.authentixx.comCode: LOVELIFE for 10% off your order!The Wellness CompanyWebsite: https://www.twc.health/lovelifeCode: LOVELIFE for 15% off your order!Dr. Karin & Pastor Elliott AndersonWebsite: http://loveandlifemedia.com/Empowered Dating Playbook: smarturl.it/EmpoweredDatingBookInstagram: @dr.karin | @pastorelliottanderson--- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/love-and-life-media/message
In the midst of newlywed bliss, we often overlook the importance of presenting ourselves to our families and friends as a united front.
That is, until our in-laws begin to meddle and make inappropriate demands . . .
Of course, we remain respectful of our parents and in-laws. Of course, we want to avail ourselves of their wisdom and guidance.
But, a young couple (or not-so-young couple) must demonstrate to their families (and to themselves) that their primary allegiance is to each other–NOT to their families of origin.
It’s a complex, difficult process which involves grieving the loss of former alliances. For example, a father and daughter may have always had a special bond–which is wonderful–but now, the daughter’s primary connection needs to be with her husband.
Learn how to grieve these losses while simultaneously establishing healthy, appropriate boundaries with our families of origin.
Elliott and I discuss all this and more in today’s episode!
Sponsor: The Wellness Company
Website: https://www.twc.health/lovelife
Code: LOVELIFE for 15% off your order!
Dr. Karin & Pastor Elliott Anderson
Website: http://loveandlifemedia.com/
Empowered Dating Playbook: smarturl.it/EmpoweredDatingBook
Instagram: @dr.karin | @pastorelliottanderson
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You have questions. We’ve got answers!
As part of our series on Elliott’s premarital counseling curriculum, we shared 2 episodes about how to cultivate true sexual intimacy and fulfillment.
We received some feedback from listeners whose sex lives are extremely difficult. They don’t intend to leave their marriages for various reasons–there are children involved, or they love each other deeply despite the physical disconnectedness, or they don’t believe sexual incompatibility warrants divorce–but obviously, they’re very unhappy with the status quo.
Specifically, listeners asked us:
-
What if my spouse is emotionally abusive? I’m not going to leave because we have children and I don’t want to disrupt their home. But, it’s brutal having sex with someone who’s cruel, demeaning, and volatile. Any thoughts?
-
Our sex life isn’t going well, but my spouse refuses to go to counseling. How can I make things better?
-
feel like our sexual relationship is one sided in that my husband always gets his needs met, but mine rarely are. How can I address this without feeling like I'm begging?
Join us to hear Elliott’s advice for these difficult issues around sex, emotional abuse, and incompatibility.
Sponsor: The Wellness Company
Website: https://www.twc.health/lovelife
Code: LOVELIFE for 15% off your order!
Dr. Karin & Pastor Elliott Anderson
Website: http://loveandlifemedia.com/
Empowered Dating Playbook: smarturl.it/EmpoweredDatingBook
Instagram: @dr.karin | @pastorelliottanderson
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A 2016 Pew Research Poll found that just 44% of respondents consider shared religious beliefs to be key to a successful marriage.
Therefore, 66% of us aren’t too worried about aligning spiritually with our partner.
But, is it wise to minimize this?
Actually, according to multiple studies, couples who pray together DO stay together. In fact, marital satisfaction is highly correlated with religious affiliation and committed practice.
Join us for our responses to this data—and other research findings which highlights the importance of aligning spiritually with your partner.
Citations:
Effects of Religious Practice on Marriage
What Couples May Not Realize About Relgion and Marriage
Sponsor: The Wellness Company
Website: https://www.twc.health/lovelife
Code: LOVELIFE for 15% off your order!
Dr. Karin & Pastor Elliott Anderson
Website: http://loveandlifemedia.com/
Empowered Dating Playbook: smarturl.it/EmpoweredDatingBook
Instagram: @dr.karin | @pastorelliottanderson
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Dave Wayne had found his passion and purpose in life. As a psychiatric nurse, he’d gained the respect of both his peers and superiors–so much so, that he won a prestigious award at his hospital!.
Not long after receiving this accolade, Dave was fired.
Why? He declined to take an injection of an experimental product.
But as so often happens in life, our darkest moments propel us in a new direction–one that’s more aligned with our values and better suited to who we’re meant to become!. And, in Dave’s case, his skepticism around Big Pharma had already made him realize a profession grounded in pharmaceutical interventions wouldn’t be a fit for him long term.
Dave now serves as a holistic health coach. He emphasizes the importance of nutrition, lifestyle, and mindset on our emotional well-being as he helps clients “describe” from medications.
Join us to learn how you can thrive free of Pharma!
Sponsor: The Wellness Company
Website: https://www.twc.health/lovelife
Code: LOVELIFE for 15% off your order!
David Wayne
Website: https://www.describe.health
Instagram: @david.wayne.rn
Dr. Karin & Pastor Elliott Anderson
Website: http://loveandlifemedia.com/
Empowered Dating Playbook: smarturl.it/EmpoweredDatingBook
Instagram: @dr.karin | @pastorelliottanderson
Citations:
Undisclosed financial conflicts of interest in DSM-5-TR: cross sectional analysis, BMJ 2024; 384 doi: https://doi.org/10.1136/bmj-2023-076902 (Published 10 January 2024)
https://www.bmj.com/content/384/bmj-2023-076902/rapid-responses
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We started an occasional series a while ago called, “Empowered Evolving” in part, because I saw so much shifting all around us. Beliefs that had once been considered integral to folks with certain philosophical ideology, now seem to be embraced by those on the opposite side of things.
Furthermore, over the last several years, we’ve witnessed the abolition of core American rights I thought we all valued.
Very strange times, indeed.
I called the series, “Empowered Evolving” as a way to remind myself—and anyone else who might have been feeling unsettled, as I’ve felt over the last several years—that evolving IS empowered.
We used to encourage people to question authority and do our own research and think for ourselves and ask for second, third, and fourth opinions. We warned each other to resist tribalism and group-think.
Americans were pioneers, independent minded. We read Thorough’s Civil Disobedience in high school and lived by Shakespeare’s “To thine own self be true”
Naturally, when you live out such principles, you often evolve.
Evolving can feel lonely. You may lose friends, your community, even your identity.
This all happened to today’s guest, former psychiatric nurse turned holistic health coach, Dave Wayne.
Sponsor: The Wellness Company
Website: https://www.twc.health/lovelife
Code: LOVELIFE for 15% off your order!
David Wayne
Website: https://www.describe.health
Instagram: @david.wayne.rn
Dr. Karin & Pastor Elliott Anderson
Website: http://loveandlifemedia.com/
Empowered Dating Playbook: smarturl.it/EmpoweredDatingBook
Instagram: @dr.karin | @pastorelliottanderson
--- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/love-and-life-media/message
Sometimes, even when we’re well into adulthood, dynamics from our family of origin continue to impact us and our relationships.
We may be physically distant, but still emotionally enmeshed!
Oftentimes, we remain entangled in family drama, which consumes our time and energy. What’s worse—it robs us of the emotional bandwidth necessary to pursue healthy, romantic partnership.
We may not actually be available for love—even though we deeply desire it and long to meet our person.
Join us to learn 2 key principles from Family Systems Theory which will greatly enhance your ability to relate to your family of origin with emotional maturity.
As an added bonus, healthier family relationships lead to healthier relationships with EVERYONE in your life—including with yourself, your friends, and your romantic partner!
Sponsor: The Wellness Company
Website: https://www.twc.health/lovelife
Code: LOVELIFE for 15% off your order!
Dr. Karin & Pastor Elliott Anderson
Website: http://loveandlifemedia.com/
Empowered Dating Playbook: smarturl.it/EmpoweredDatingBook
Instagram: @dr.karin | @pastorelliottanderson
--- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/love-and-life-media/message
In Elliott’s final session of his premarital curriculum, he delves into a topic which all too often proves incredibly difficult for couples to discuss—sex. We began this conversation in episode 295 but, because there’s obviously a lot to talk about, we broke it up into 2 parts.
Elliott shares Biblical wisdom to help couples cultivate deep, meaningful sexual connections. He also provides practical steps for every stage of marriage—whether you’re newlyweds hoping to establish a firm foundation or you’ve been together for years and years but have lost that spark.
No matter where you are in your love journey, this episode is for you!
Sponsor: The Wellness Company
Website: https://www.twc.health/lovelife
Code: LOVELIFE for 15% off your order!
Dr. Karin & Pastor Elliott Anderson
Website: http://loveandlifemedia.com/
Empowered Dating Playbook: smarturl.it/EmpoweredDatingBook
Instagram: @dr.karin | @pastorelliottanderson
--- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/love-and-life-media/message
In the final session of Elliott’s premarital curriculum, he helps couples develop habits and dynamics necessary for cultivating sexual intimacy and fulfillment.
Step one—you need to be able to talk about it! As Elliott notes, many couples struggle to discuss this most important element of their relationship.
Elliott shares the key questions he poses to couples to assist them in establishing a solid foundation for the physical expression of their love and commitment.
Sponsor: The Wellness Company
Website: https://www.twc.health/lovelife
Code: LOVELIFE for 15% off your order!
Dr. Karin & Pastor Elliott Anderson
Website: http://loveandlifemedia.com/
Empowered Dating Playbook: smarturl.it/EmpoweredDatingBook
Instagram: @dr.karin | @pastorelliottanderson
--- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/love-and-life-media/message
Four years after “2 weeks to stop the spread” and I’m still reeling.
They say, “Get over it. Move on! COVID’s done.”
Of course, I’d like to forget about it. But, it doesn’t feel “done” to me. I’m still trying to get my bearings.
Elliott says it’s Post COVID Trauma. We all feel it to some degree. And, we all deal with it differently.
How could we NOT be traumatized? We’d never experienced anything like it!
- The world shut down.
- We lived in fear.
- People died. We couldn’t say goodbye.
- Kids stuck at home.
- Masks and 6 feet of separation destroyed human connection.
- Alpha, Delta, Omicron, what’s next?
- From a bat? Lab leak? Who’s telling the truth!?!?
- Don’t ask questions. Fauci’s the boss.
- NOTHING to be done—just wait for the “vaccine.”
- Skeptical of an experimental shot? What are you, a grandma killer?
I could go on and on . . .
If you’re feeling some Post COVID Stress Disorder, please join us for what amounts to a therapy session☺️ Elliott helps me move through the emotional fallout of being a COVID dissident. If you’re still disoriented from the last 4 years, this episode is for you!
Sponsor: The Wellness Company
Website: https://www.twc.health/lovelife
Code: LOVELIFE for 15% off your order!
Dr. Karin & Pastor Elliott Anderson
Website: http://loveandlifemedia.com/
Empowered Dating Playbook: smarturl.it/EmpoweredDatingBook
Instagram: @dr.karin | @pastorelliottanderson
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In the fifth session of Elliott’s premarital curriculum he discusses the relationship dynamics related to money and power.
Karin is out of town this week so Elliott and Tim tackle this topic and address the following issues:
- How do we communicate with our partner about finances?
- What role do you play with your partner in relationship to money?
- How do money and power co-exist in the context of a partnership?
- What does the Bible say about money?
We can live empowered lives in relationship with our finances!
Sponsor: The Wellness Company
Website: https://www.twc.health/lovelife
Code: LOVELIFE for 15% off your order!
Dr. Karin & Pastor Elliott Anderson
Website: http://loveandlifemedia.com/
Empowered Dating Playbook: smarturl.it/EmpoweredDatingBook
Instagram: @dr.karin | @pastorelliottanderson
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We all know conflict is unavoidable. And, it’s certainly inherent to marriage.
In the fourth session of Elliott’s premarital curriculum, couples take a deep dive into all aspects of conflict. We know it’s inevitable, but can conflict actually strengthen our bond and cultivate intimacy?
Specifically we address:
- Why does conflict happen?
- When is it most likely to occur?
- When disputes arise, what’s really going on beneath the surface?
- Methods for disagreeing with fairness and maturity.
- Working with your own conflict style and that of your partner.
- How conflict CAN bring comfort!
Learn how our differences CAN strengthen your connection!
Sponsor: The Wellness Company
Website: https://www.twc.health/lovelife
Code: LOVELIFE for 15% off your order!
Dr. Karin & Pastor Elliott Anderson
Website: http://loveandlifemedia.com/
Empowered Dating Playbook: smarturl.it/EmpoweredDatingBook
Instagram: @dr.karin | @pastorelliottanderson
--- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/love-and-life-media/message
As we all know, if something is “out of order,” it’s not working.
So, too, in marriage!
In session 3 of his premarital curriculum, Elliott discusses the importance of “order” in marriage. He shares key verses in Ephesians 5 with which some couples struggle. Elliott asserts a deeper understanding reveals how husbands and wives are empowered by these Biblical instructions.
He reminds us that although we’re not all wired for structure and order, we need to find a God ordained rhythm that works for us as a couple.
I share some examples from our marriage roles which, though traditional, feel authentic and empowering.
Join us to keep your relationship in order!
Sponsor: The Wellness Company
Website: https://www.twc.health/lovelife
Code: LOVELIFE for 15% off your order!
Dr. Karin & Pastor Elliott Anderson
Website: http://loveandlifemedia.com/
Empowered Dating Playbook: smarturl.it/EmpoweredDatingBook
Instagram: @dr.karin | @pastorelliottanderson
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We’re continuing our series on engagement by sharing Elliott’s premarital curriculum with you 💍
In session 2, Elliott asks couples if they believe love is enough. If we’re madly in love, can we be guaranteed a happy, solid, fulfilling marriage?
He goes into depth regarding the Bible’s instructions (I Peter 3:1-7) for how husbands are to treat their wives and vice versa. Elliott unpacks the meaning of the Greek to reveal the true intimacy God designed for us in marriage.
Spoiler alert: women will be quite pleased with God’s directions for how their husbands should love them!
We delve into the following:
- What authentic intimacy looks like.
- How love is given and received differently by men and women.
- How husbands are to “honor” their wives (an incredibly radical notion at the time!) and the blessing they receive when they do so!
Join us for a deeper understanding of love and how this applies to relationships, intimacy, and marriage!
Sponsor The Wellness Company
Website: https://www.twc.health/lovelife
Code: LOVELIFE for 15% off your order!
Dr. Karin & Pastor Elliott Anderson
Website: http://loveandlifemedia.com/
Empowered Dating Playbook: smarturl.it/EmpoweredDatingBook
Instagram: @dr.karin | @pastorelliottanderson
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Elliott sent me this Key and Peele clip the other day: https://www.youtube.com/shorts/wOBNm_8zw4I
I immediately texted back, “We need to record an episode about this!” The bit starts with Key sharing an unpopular opinion about a movie. Peele responds with a phrase we hear all the time these days, “That’s awkward!” Key is confused. What’s awkward about an opinion? He protests but Peele continues to shut him down with dismissive phrases like, “Okay . . . ” and “All right . . .” It’s a funny sketch that reveals a great deal about our current social environment. The terms and phrases we use are powerful—they reflect current norms while also framing how we experience our interactions and relationships. Meaning, when we perceive common day-to-day conversations as “awkward,” we respond accordingly i.e. we tell ourselves to be uncomfortable and hence increase the likelihood we’ll feel anxious. Think about it. We could just as easily label common day-to-day conversations as “normal—maybe surprising, maybe confusing, but normal” and thereby respond in kind. Elliott and I discuss the psychological implications of using common phrases—like, “That’s awkward” and, “I have anxiety about that!”—and how these impact our emotional wellbeing.
Specifically, we consider:
- The societal norms which make the clip funny.
- How labeling a situation informs our emotional response.
- The harm of labeling ourselves in a fixed, immutable manner e.g., “I have anxiety.”
- The influence of constant phone usage on our friendships, psychological health, and humanity in general.
- How to decrease disempowered self-talk and replace it with empowered self-talk.
Join us as we examine what’s really going on behind phrases like, “That’s awkward!” and “I have anxiety!”
Sponsor The Wellness Company
Website: https://www.twc.health/lovelife
Code: LOVELIFE for 15% off your order!
Dr. Karin & Pastor Elliott Anderson
Website: http://loveandlifemedia.com/
Empowered Dating Playbook: smarturl.it/EmpoweredDatingBook
Instagram: @dr.karin | @pastorelliottanderson
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Last week, Producer Tim and I discussed the joys of an easy marriage.
But we know, of course, this isn’t everyone’s experience!
We definitely wanted Elliott to share how he helps couples in difficult marriages improve their connection so they can enjoy each other more—and maybe even find that ease and fluidity they’ve been lacking!
Specifically, we discuss:
- Semantics around the word, “easy.” Why Elliott thinks it’s often more about a secure connection, as opposed to an “easy” one.
- The fact that couples with avoidant attachment styles might have what seems to be an easier marriage, but how this could reflect a lack of depth in their connection.
- When an easy marriage might actually be in trouble!
- Strategies for couples struggling with a difficult marriage—your marriage CAN get easier!
No matter the dynamics of your relationship, please join us!
Sponsor The Wellness Company
Website: https://www.twc.health/lovelife
Code: LOVELIFE for 15% off your order!
Dr. Karin & Pastor Elliott Anderson
Website: http://loveandlifemedia.com/
Empowered Dating Playbook: smarturl.it/EmpoweredDatingBook
Instagram: @dr.karin | @pastorelliottanderson
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The Love & Life family is a diverse bunch—from singles, to those exclusively dating, to engaged couples, to marrieds, to divorced folks back on the scene again.
We’re all at different places in our love journey.
As we thought about what we wanted to share for Valentine’s Day, Producer Tim suggested we grapple with the following:
- Are relationships doomed to be a constant struggle?
- Do they have to be SO hard?
- Could marriage actually be easy?
Since it was Tim’s idea, I asked him to share his thoughts and experience with the topic.
Specifically, we delve into the following:
- What makes a relationship easy?
- Do opposites attract and if so, won’t this eventually lead to strife?
- If we marry someone similar to us, won’t things get boring?
- How do conflict styles factor in?
- What role does attachment style play in terms of relationship ease?
We then take a look at the psych research, of course!
We also weave in clips from a song I wrote for Dan called Breathing—“It’s like breathing, so easy, loving you couldn’t come more naturally, it’s like breathing.”
You can listen to Breathing on Spotify here: https://open.spotify.com/track/5M6UjeGH1dyNPs05CPRpeN?si=19f3d9b189bc4341
Happy Valentine’s Day from Love & Life!
Sponsor The Wellness Company
Website: https://www.twc.health/lovelife
Code: LOVELIFE for 15% off your order!
Dr. Karin & Pastor Elliott Anderson
Website: http://loveandlifemedia.com/
Empowered Dating Playbook: smarturl.it/EmpoweredDatingBook
Instagram: @dr.karin | @pastorelliottanderson
Sources:
https://www.gottman.com/blog/truth-expectations-relationships/
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We interrupt our series on engagement to bring you Elliott’s presentation on trauma, which he shared recently at his church.
- How do we define trauma?
- What experiences leave a trauma wound?
- How do these wounds impact our relationships?
- What does the Bible have to say about trauma?
- Is there hope for healing?
- If so, how do we heal?
We’ve all experienced some level of trauma—Big T or Little t. Perhaps you never fought in a war zone or were the victim of a violent attack, but we all recently endured a global pandemic and, as Elliott explains, COVID response measures certainly traumatized us individually and collectively.
Join us for a word of hope and strategies for healing!
P.S. Elliott wanted us to include the hymn I sang at the end of the service. 🙏
Sponsor The Wellness Company
Website: https://www.twc.health/lovelife
Code: LOVELIFE for 15% off your order!
Dr. Karin & Pastor Elliott Anderson
Website: http://loveandlifemedia.com/
Empowered Dating Playbook: smarturl.it/EmpoweredDatingBook
Instagram: @dr.karin | @pastorelliottanderson
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As anyone who’s experienced depression can tell you, it’s brutal. And, with almost 1 in 4 American women taking antidepressants, it’s clear many of us are suffering.
What’s going on? What’s to be done?
In this latest episode of our “Love & Life: Let’s Talk About It” series, Miriam Conner and I explore depression in America—especially as it relates to women.
Specifically, we consider:
- How depression is conceptualized.
- The evidence that debunks the “chemical imbalance” explanation.
- Why antidepressants don’t work.
- Lifestyle factors that contribute to depression. Spoiler alert: pretty much everything in the standard American lifestyle contributes to it!
- Research based strategies to liberate us from the clutches of depression!
Join us to learn how to break free from the grip of depression!
N.B. Please DO NOT quit taking antidepressants without the consultation and guidance of a professional trained in how to taper off SSRIs safely. Antidepressant Discontinuation Syndrome can result when abruptly terminating SSRIs.
This conversation does not prescribe medical or psychological advice and should not be taken as such.
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Website: https://www.twc.health/lovelife
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Miriam Conner
Podcast: aParently Speaking
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/aParentlySpeakingPodcast/
Dr. Karin
Website: http://loveandlifemedia.com/
Instagram: @dr.karin
Sources:
Our conversation was based on Dr. Joseph Mercola’s article, “Gross Misconduct—The Final Nail in the Coffin for Antidepressants.”
Mercola, J. (2024, January 29). Gross misconduct—The final nail in the coffin for antidepressants. Substack.
Moncrieff, J., Cooper, R.E., Stockmann, T. et al. (2023). The serotonin theory of depression: A systematic umbrella review of the evidence. Molecular Psychiatry 28, 3243–3256. https://doi.org/10.1038/s41380-022-01661-0
https://www.madinamerica.com/2023/09/the-stard-scandal-scientific-misconduct-on-a-grand-scale/
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Welcome to Love & Life: Let’s Talk About It!
So, what exactly are we talking about? All the hot topics we’re not supposed to touch—the subjects that get you censored, shadow-banned, and canceled when you broach them.
Censorship, shadow-banning, cancelation . . . How could this happen? This is America, the “land of the free!”
Or, so we thought . . .
Are we actually free if we’re not permitted to challenge assertions and dissent from dictates?
How is it we now live in a society in which social media platforms—which essentially serve as our “public square”—can determine what discourse may be discussed and which topics are considered unacceptable?
Maybe you’re okay with the censorship. After all, there’s a lot of disinformation and hate speech out there!
But, who establishes what is and what isn’t “disinformation”? And who decides when speech is nasty enough to constitute “hate”?
If censorship enrages you and the questions above infuriate you, Love & Life “Let’s Talk About It” episodes are for you!
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Miriam Conner
Podcast: aParently Speaking
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/aParentlySpeakingPodcast/
Dr. Karin
Website: http://loveandlifemedia.com/
Instagram: @dr.karin
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We continue our series on engagement with the next segment of Elliott’s premarital counseling curriculum. Today’s episode delves into Session 1, Part 2.
Elliott discusses the themes couples should address when they’re engaged—along with the exercises and activities he employs to help generate conversations around these important topics.
If you’re engaged—or expect to be someday—this episode is for you! And actually, even if you’re married, you’ll find much value in this conversation.
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Dr. Karin & Pastor Elliott Anderson
Website: http://loveandlifemedia.com/
Empowered Dating Playbook: smarturl.it/EmpoweredDatingBook
Instagram: @dr.karin | @pastorelliottanderson
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You’re engaged! Time for wedding planning!
But, what about marriage planning? Because a strong, fulfilling marriage starts long before your wedding day!
In fact, our engagement serves as a crucial time for us to address key concerns and establish healthy patterns which will set us up for a strong, fulfilling marriage.
With over 30 years counseling engaged and married couples, Elliott has a wealth of recommendations to help you utilize this important time in your relationship.
Join us to explore 5 key concerns to address when you’re engaged to optimize your future marriage!
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Dr. Karin & Pastor Elliott Anderson
Website: http://loveandlifemedia.com/
Empowered Dating Playbook: smarturl.it/EmpoweredDatingBook
Instagram: @dr.karin | @pastorelliottanderson
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Building a strong marriage starts long before the wedding day and with 30+ years of working with couples, Elliott has plenty of solid advice for anyone newly engaged or contemplating engagement!
But, first things first—it’s thrilling to accept a proposal and begin wedding planning, but we need to be sure we’re doing all this with the right person for us!
Too often, premarital counseling focuses on household chores and budget, extended family relationships, etc. And yes, these are important, of course.
But, all these will be exponentially more difficult to manage if you marry the wrong person in the first place.
As a former runaway bride, I see engagement a little differently. I know what it’s like to try to make it work with someone who wasn’t the best fit for me.
It was a good relationship. But, is “good enough” good enough?
I remember being so confused throughout my first engagement. I looked all over for resources to help me sort through my conflicting emotions.
A conversation like this one would have helped me tremendously!
Elliott and I provide 4 aspects to consider as you ascertain whether your wedding jitters are just nervous energy or, if your cold feet are trying to tell you something you may not be currently willing to acknowledge to yourself and others.
Sponsor The Wellness Company
Website: https://www.twc.health/lovelife
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Dr. Karin & Pastor Elliott Anderson
Website: http://loveandlifemedia.com/
Empowered Dating Playbook: smarturl.it/EmpoweredDatingBook
Instagram: @dr.karin | @pastorelliottanderson
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You’re engaged! So in love! It’s exhilarating!
Except, when you have cold feet. Are these just wedding jitters? Or, do you need to rethink your decision?
As a former runaway bride, this topic hits home to me.
Elliott and I decided to kick off our series on premarital counseling by asking a very important first question, “What if you’re engaged, but you’re feeling uncertain and unsure?”
In this episode, I share the confusion and angst I experienced when engaged to my first fiancé. Elliott and I discuss the difficulty of sorting through complex cold feet emotions—especially when your fiancé is a wonderful person and you can’t really pinpoint what feels “off.”
We provide concrete recommendations for figuring out if your engagement is meant to go the distance, or if calling things off would be the better choice for you and your fiancé.
Join us—whether you’re feeling jittery or not, our conversation highlighting the important elements of engagement will help you build your marriage on a firm foundation!
Sponsor The Wellness Company
Website: https://www.twc.health/lovelife
Code: LOVELIFE for 15% off your order!
Dr. Karin & Pastor Elliott Anderson
Website: http://loveandlifemedia.com/
Empowered Dating Playbook: smarturl.it/EmpoweredDatingBook
Instagram: @dr.karin | @pastorelliottanderson
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In part 2 of our conversation about family roles, Elliott and I share specific roles we may play when interacting with our family of origin—and others in our lives!
Are you the “family hero?” The black sheep? The lost child?
Join us to determine your role and how to rewrite the script should you feel your role constrains you or proves unhealthy for your adult growth and development.
Sponsor The Wellness Company
Website: https://www.twc.health/lovelife
Code: LOVELIFE for 15% off your order!
Dr. Karin & Pastor Elliott Anderson
Website: http://loveandlifemedia.com/
Empowered Dating Playbook: smarturl.it/EmpoweredDatingBook
Instagram: @dr.karin | @pastorelliottanderson
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Whether we’re aware of it or not, we each play various roles within our families. And, even if we’ve grown and changed, we often step right back into our role during family gatherings!
Do you know your family role? Do you understand how it impacts you during the holidays and throughout the year?
Some of us have a sense of our family role. Maybe you’re the instigator or the peacemaker. The caretaker or the rebel. The leader or the clown.
But oftentimes we play a role and we’re not even aware we’re doing so!
Join Elliott and me for part 1 of our conversation about family roles. As we identify our roles, we gain deeper understanding of ourselves and our family’s dynamics. Plus, learn how to alter your role if you’ve grown out of it and it doesn’t fit you anymore!
Sponsor The Wellness Company
Website: https://www.twc.health/lovelife
Code: LOVELIFE for 15% off your order!
Dr. Karin & Pastor Elliott Anderson
Website: http://loveandlifemedia.com/
Empowered Dating Playbook: smarturl.it/EmpoweredDatingBook
Instagram: @dr.karin | @pastorelliottanderson
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Triangulation. It’s so easy. We all do it. But, it’s SO unhealthy.
What’s triangulation? Here’s a common example:
We get angry, but instead of talking to the person who upset us, we gripe about it with someone else. We loop in a third party.
It diffuses the tension, but does it move us toward solving the dispute/problem?
Not at all.
As we continue our series on how to connect with our families in a healthy manner throughout the holidays—and always!—Elliott and I discuss the perils of triangulated relationships in families.
We provide examples of triangulation and explain the myriad ways it negatively impacts relationships.
We leave you with three takeaways for figuring out if you’re involved in a family triangle and more importantly, how to extricate yourself if (when!) you realize you’re in the midst of one.
Sponsor The Wellness Company
Website: https://www.twc.health/lovelife
Code: LOVELIFE for 15% off your order!
Dr. Karin & Pastor Elliott Anderson
Website: http://loveandlifemedia.com/
Empowered Dating Playbook: smarturl.it/EmpoweredDatingBook
Instagram: @dr.karin | @pastorelliottanderson
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We wrap up this year with some personal reflections regarding Love & Life’s themes of mind, body, and spirit!
Elliott and I discuss some revelations we’ve had via the books and articles we’ve read including:
- Brain Energy by Christopher Palmer, M.D.
- Joanna Moncrieff’s challenge of the serotonin theory of depression
- The Body Keeps the Score by Bessel van der Kolk
- The work of Dr. Caroline Leaf
We share some intentions for aligning our minds, body, and spirit in 2024 and invite you to join us in this journey!
Happy New Year from Love & Life!
Sponsor The Wellness Company
Website: https://www.twc.health/lovelife
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Dr. Karin & Pastor Elliott Anderson
Website: http://loveandlifemedia.com/
Empowered Dating Playbook: smarturl.it/EmpoweredDatingBook
Instagram: @dr.karin | @pastorelliottanderson
Sources cited in today’s episode:
https://www.chrispalmermd.com/
The Serotonin Theory of Depression a Systematic Umbrella Review of the Evidence (https://www.nature.com/articles/s41380-022-01661-0)
The Serotonin Hypothesis of Depression: Both Long Discarded and Still Supported? (https://www.nature.com/articles/s41380-023-02094-z)
https://www.besselvanderkolk.com/
https://drleaf.com/
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Elliott and I continue our series on how to best engage with family members over the holidays with this episode devoted to family rules.
All families have a “code of conduct.” Some of these expectations are well known by all members. Others operate just beneath the surface.
How do we manage family rules now that we’re adults? How do we navigate the expectations of our family and then adjust to those of our spouse’s family—especially when these rules are so very different?
And furthermore, what if our family’s rules violate the values we now hold as adults? Can we interact with respect for our loved ones while maintaining our integrity and authenticity?
Join us to learn how to identify your family of origin’s covert rules to ascertain how they may be impacting you and your relationships.
You CAN remain true to your values and ethics while simultaneously enjoying your family this holiday season!
Sponsor The Wellness Company
Website: https://www.twc.health/lovelife
Code: LOVELIFE for 15% off your order!
Dr. Karin & Pastor Elliott Anderson
Website: http://loveandlifemedia.com/
Empowered Dating Playbook: smarturl.it/EmpoweredDatingBook
Instagram: @dr.karin | @pastorelliottanderson
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With the new year right around the corner, you may be thinking about resolutions. Many of us want to level up our health and fitness, but oftentimes we feel daunted because we’ve tried a hundred times before, yet never reached our goals.
Help is here! Justin Savich, creator of The Pure Fat Loss Challenge, brings over 20 years of nutrition, strength training, and fitness knowledge to his proven program which has helped thousands of people lose fat–not muscle!
Join us for Justin’s expertise about food, exercise, and weight. His inside info helps us sort out fact from fiction in the health and wellness domain–a space that so often feels incredibly confusing with contradictory messages from various factions and agendas.
Plus, you’ll have the opportunity to kick off 2024 by participating in Justin’s Pure Fat Loss Challenge beginning on December 27th!
Sponsor The Wellness Company
Website: https://www.twc.health/lovelife
Code: LOVELIFE for 15% off your order!
Justin Savich
The Pure Fat Loss Challenge: https://thepurefatlosschallenge.com/
Dr. Karin & Pastor Elliott Anderson
Website: http://loveandlifemedia.com/
Empowered Dating Playbook: smarturl.it/EmpoweredDatingBook
Instagram: @dr.karin | @pastorelliottanderson
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Last week we talked about the importance of maintaining boundaries with our family during holiday gatherings.
But what if boundaries aren’t enough? What if we simply can’t get along with our family? We no longer agree on anything and we can’t find common ground. Should we completely cut them off?
Or, is there a better way?
Today, Elliott and I discuss the Family Systems construct of Individuation and explain why it’s an incredibly important process to move through in young adulthood—whether you’re single or married. We provide concrete steps for healthy individuating and explain how your levels of closeness and separateness to your family of origin directly impact every other relationship in your life—even in adulthood! We leave you with 3 takeaways to help you interact with your family authentically, maturely, and in an individuated manner throughout the holidays.
Sponsor The Wellness Company
Website: https://www.twc.health/lovelife
Code: LOVELIFE for 15% off your order!
Dr. Karin & Pastor Elliott Anderson
Website: http://loveandlifemedia.com/
Empowered Dating Playbook: smarturl.it/EmpoweredDatingBook
Instagram: @dr.karin | @pastorelliottanderson
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Holiday family gatherings should bring us closer, but sometimes they do the exact opposite! All too often, we get together only to grow apart.
Help is here! Implementing principles from Family Systems Therapy allows us to cultivate true intimacy while reducing family drama.
In today’s episode, Elliott and I delve into boundaries. We share concrete strategies for establishing boundaries with family members—even those who pry into your business with questions like:
- “Are you seeing anyone special?”
- “When are two going to make me a grandma?”
- “You’re not voting for _____________ next year, are you???”
We provide examples of how to:
- respond to invasive interrogation you don’t care to address.
- remain committed to your values and principles without alienating family members whose beliefs differ from yours.
- mindfully move through difficult conversations.
Join us for a timely conversation designed to prepare you for upcoming family gatherings. Spoiler alert: you CAN maintain boundaries while growing closer!
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Website: https://www.twc.health/lovelife
Black Friday/Cyber Monday: TWC sale begins on Friday 11/24 through Monday 11/27 end of day!
Sale Details:
25% OFF Supplements
20% OFF Monthly Memberships
15% OFF Emergency & Covid Kits (USA RESIDENTS ONLY)
Dr. Karin & Pastor Elliott Anderson
Website: http://loveandlifemedia.com/
Empowered Dating Playbook: smarturl.it/EmpoweredDatingBook
Instagram: @dr.karin | @pastorelliottanderson
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The holidays are upon us and in efforts to make the season as bright as possible, Elliott and I want to share principles from one of our favorite therapeutic orientations—Family Systems Theory and Therapy.
And yes, siblings can get under our skin in ways no one else can. And sure, in-law interactions may be strained. And of course, blended families present us with unique challenges, but still—we CAN remain joyful at parties and gatherings and we CAN minimize the drama by keeping 3 key principles in mind.
Join us for this first episode in our series on how to dial down family drama this holiday season!
SponsorThe Wellness Company
Website: https://www.twc.health/lovelife
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Dr. Karin & Pastor Elliott Anderson
Website: http://loveandlifemedia.com/
Empowered Dating Playbook: smarturl.it/EmpoweredDatingBook
Instagram: @dr.karin | @pastorelliottanderson
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In fact, we’re taught to avoid talking about finances because it’s considered a bit gauche—especially when you don’t know someone very well.
Furthermore, what if you’re not all that proud of your relationship with money? Maybe your bank account refuses to grow and “retail therapy” is your go-to coping mechanism! Or, it seems you just can’t get ahead no matter how much you save!
Emily Burnett can relate. She’s a self-proclaimed “money mess” and “budget loather” who was thousands of dollars in debt. But then, she dramatically changed her relationship with money and found freedom in fiscal responsibility!
She shares her journey in her new book, Dear Fellow Spender: Enjoy Using Your Money to Get Out of Debt, Build Savings, and Create a Life You Love.
And no, we don’t need to have our finances completely sorted out in order to have healthy partnerships, but we do need to have an understanding of our relationship with money—because, research shows it’s a factor that greatly influences marriages.
Elliott and I have often discussed the reality that conflict about finances always ranks very high as a factor in why couples get divorced.
Our spending habits reflect our values—and you know we’re all about values on Love & Life!
So whether you stick to a firm budget or you’re a “money mess” as Emily used to be, we welcome you to this conversation about money, love, and values with Emily Burnett of Moso Money.
SponsorThe Wellness Company
Website: https://www.twc.health/lovelife
Code: LOVELIFE for 15% off your order!
Emily Burnett
Website: https://www.mosomoney.com/
Dear Fellow Spender: https://www.mosomoney.com/book
Dr. Karin & Pastor Elliott Anderson
Website: http://loveandlifemedia.com/
Empowered Dating Playbook: smarturl.it/EmpoweredDatingBook
Instagram: @dr.karin | @pastorelliottanderson
Citations:
https://www.gottman.com/blog/arguments-money-arent-money/
Papp L., Cummings, E., Goeke-Morey, M. (2009). For richer, for poorer: Money as a topic of marital conflict in the home. Family Relations, 58(1), 91-103.
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I asked Elliott the other day, “We’ve been talking about cheating and recovery, but what can we do to try to prevent affairs from happening in the first place?”
And yes, healing is possible and, as Elliott continues to stress, we may even find deeper intimacy after infidelity. But of course, wouldn’t we prefer to grow closer to our spouse without going through a marital breakdown?
In this conversation, we present 3 strategies for keeping your marriage solid and connected! We can’t control our partner, but we CAN take steps ourselves to strengthen our bond and increase the likelihood of remaining faithful to each other.
Elliott and I share examples of what we do personally to keep the fire burning (REO reference for our fellow GenXers 🙂) in our marriages–along with research and Elliott’s clinical expertise gleaned from over 30 years of working with couples.
We leave you with 3 practical, actionable steps to take today to help you NOT to stray!
Dr. Karin & Pastor Elliott Anderson
Website: http://loveandlifemedia.com/
Empowered Dating Playbook: smarturl.it/EmpoweredDatingBook
Instagram: @dr.karin | @pastorelliottanderson
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After posting episodes 265 and 266, Karin and I continue to see a need to continue the discussion about cheating. So today we continue our cheating series by responding additional concerns and discuss how to start the healing process.
Specifically, we address:
- What's the first step in the healing process?
- How to navigate forgiveness and grief
- What to do if children are involved
- What rebuilding trust looks like after betrayal
Join us for this third segment in our series on cheating. And please, let us know if you have any questions!
Dr. Karin & Pastor Elliott Anderson
Website: http://loveandlifemedia.com/
Empowered Dating Playbook: smarturl.it/EmpoweredDatingBook
Instagram: @dr.karin | @pastorelliottanderson
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After posting episode 265, Elliott and I received additional questions about infidelity, so we wanted to continue our cheating series by responding to these concerns.
Specifically, we address:
- What exactly is cheating?
- Is flirting too much a violation?
- What about porn?
- Connecting with an old flame on Facebook?
- Close friendships with coworkers?
- What are the first steps to take if one of us has broken our vows?
- Can we ever rebuild trust?
- What if the betrayer won’t acknowledge the indiscretion?
- How can we ever forgive?
- When is separation necessary?
- What can we do when we’re single to prepare ourselves for a strong marriage—one in which neither partner is likely to stray?
- Spoiler alert: there’s actually a LOT we can do when we’re single to set ourselves up for an affair-proof future marriage!
Join us for this second segment in our series on cheating. And please, let us know if you have any questions!
Dr. Karin & Pastor Elliott Anderson
Website: http://loveandlifemedia.com/
Empowered Dating Playbook: smarturl.it/EmpoweredDatingBook
Instagram: @dr.karin | @pastorelliottanderson
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Just Wear the Mask. It’s Not a Big Deal! Or, is It? A Developmental Psychologist’s Concerns Regarding Masks on Children—and All of Us!
We’re bringing you another segment of our “Love & Life: Let’s Talk About It” series.
These are topics that can be hard to broach and in some cases, conversations around these issues have been censored—either by social media platforms, or by social agreement—because,”Let’s not talk about it. We’ll just get into a fight.”
But avoiding subjects to preserve harmony doesn’t foster true intimacy—and because Elliott and I are all about deep, meaningful, intimate relationships, we’re going to speak honestly about those issues which are most important to us.
Today’s “Love and Life: Let’s Talk About It!” topic? Masks.
Over the past several years of the pandemic, masks have become an insanely contentious topic. The debate has waged for 3, almost 4 years now, so I’m sure you have your opinion and I’m not trying to change anyone’s mind.
I just want to bring up some relevant factors that I’ve rarely heard expressed in the debate.
I’m approaching this from my vantage point as a developmental psychologist because there are several theories I learned about in my grad work which have implications for masks on children—and on all of us!
Join us to learn the research suggesting masking IS a big deal. Children have suffered and research shows there may be lasting effects to this experiment we all entered in by covering our faces over the last several years.
Citations
COVID rules are blamed for 23% dive in young children's development: Disturbing study shows scores in three key cognitive tests slumped between 2018 and 2021, with face mask rules among possible culprits
https://www.dailymail.co.
uk/news/article-10247315/Face-masks-harm-childrens-development-Study-blames-significantly-reduced-development.html
Early maternal mirroring predicts infant motor system activation during facial expression observation
https://www.nature.com/articles/s41598-017-12097-w
Early origins of mental disorder - risk factors in the perinatal and infant period
https://bmcpsychiatry.biomedcentral.com/articles/10.1186/s12888-016-0982-7
EQ vs. IQ Which is Most Important in the Success or Failure of a Student?
https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S1877042812021477?ref=pdf_download&fr=RR-2&rr=813ff5c13d7c140a
Imitation in Infancy: A Critical Review
https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S0065240708604176
The Mask of Ignorance
https://www.city-journal.org/article/the-mask-of-ignorance
Mothers with a mask or… the still-face experiment?
https://eipmh.com/mothers-with-mask-or-the-still-face-experiment/
Possible toxicity of chronic carbon dioxide exposure associated with face mask use, particularly in pregnant women, children and adolescents – A scoping review
https://www.cell.com/heliyon/pdf/S2405-8440(23)01324-5.pdf
Dr. Karin & Pastor Elliott Anderson
Website: http://loveandlifemedia.com/
Empowered Dating Playbook: smarturl.it/EmpoweredDatingBook
Instagram: @dr.karin | @pastorelliottanderson
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No one walks down the aisle on their wedding day expecting to cheat on their spouse. But sadly, it happens all too often.
What happens? Why do couples stray?
Elliott and I discuss 4 types of affairs (Pittman) and 3 reasons why they happen (Balswick & Balswick).
Join us for part 1 in our series on infidelity. Learn how to protect your marriage from an affair and/or recover from the pain if infidelity has already occurred.
Citation:
https://hackspirit.com/infidelity-statistics/
Dr. Karin & Pastor Elliott Anderson
Website: http://loveandlifemedia.com/
Empowered Dating Playbook: smarturl.it/EmpoweredDatingBook
Instagram: @dr.karin | @pastorelliottanderson
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We’ve all heard it a million times—you are what you eat. And, of course it’s true—every cell in our body relies on and is sustained by the nutrients we ingest. So on a physical level, this reality is obvious.
But, the more research I do, the more I realize how much this adage—you are what you eat—pertains to our mental health as well.
In some ways, I think about all the work I’ve done as a psychologist—as many of you know, I’ve found so much power in cognitive techniques. When we take charge of our thoughts, we take charge of our lives—and, I absolutely stand by cognitive strategies. More importantly though, research substantiates the effectiveness of CBT (cognitive behavioral therapy), as we’ve discussed in many episodes of Love & Life.
That being said, how much easier is it for us to take charge of our thoughts if we’re fueling our bodies in a way that supports our thinking and emotions?
That’s why Elliott and I focus on MIND and BODY and SPIRIT.
Today’s episode is part 2 of my conversation with Dr. Cate Shanahan. If you haven’t had the chance to listen to the beginning of our interview, be sure to check out episode 263.
Dr. Cate describes why industrial seed oils are one of the worst—if not the absolute worst—substances we can put in our bodies. And of course, because our physical wellbeing and mental wellbeing are inextricably connected, when we eliminate the hateful 8, we’ll feel much better emotionally, too!
Learn how to eliminate the Hateful 8 to level up your psychological health!
Dr. Cate Shanahan
Website: http://drcate.com/
Books: https://drcate.com/books/
Instagram: @drcateshanahan
Dr. Karin & Pastor Elliott Anderson
Website: http://loveandlifemedia.com/
Empowered Dating Playbook: smarturl.it/EmpoweredDatingBook
Instagram: @dr.karin | @pastorelliottanderson
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About a year ago, I started hearing a term that was new to me—seed oils. Apparently, they’re everywhere—in virtually all processed foods. And, recent research links them to horrible health outcomes.
So, I did a lot of reading and found that much of what I’d understood about dietary fats was completely off base. For years, I’d been making food choices I thought were healthy but in fact, they were the exact opposite of nutritious!
One book that deeply impacted me—and Dan, too, because I immediately started cooking with different ingredients—was The FatBurn Fix by Dr. Cate Shanahan. I reached out to her to see if she’d be willing to appear on the program.
Today, Dr. Shanahan joins us to unpack the deleterious effects of industrial seed oils—along with the remarkable benefits of eliminating them from our diets! Stay tuned for Part 2, which releases next week!
Dr. Cate Shanahan
Website: http://drcate.com/
Books: https://drcate.com/books/
Instagram: @drcateshanahan
Dr. Karin & Pastor Elliott Anderson
Website: http://loveandlifemedia.com/
Empowered Dating Playbook: smarturl.it/EmpoweredDatingBook
Instagram: @dr.karin | @pastorelliottanderson
--- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/love-and-life-media/message
We’re in the midst of a mental health war. Over the last 50 years, we’ve raised awareness and developed abundant treatment options, yet Americans’ rates of depression and anxiety continue to skyrocket (Whitaker, 2015).
Today, Elliott and I discuss my reflections on his recent messages about the epidemics of anxiety, depression, loneliness, and addiction.
We conceptualize the current mental health landscape as a war for two reasons: (1) because so many Americans battle psychological concerns and (2) professionals are in the midst of deeply contentious disputes regarding how to best treat clients’ emotional distress.
Pharmaceutical corporations and many psychiatrists view this issue through a medical model i.e. patients are diagnosed with psychiatric illnesses and are prescribed pills to manage symptoms. But despite an exponential increase in the use of psychotropic medications, the number of Americans filing disability claims due to mental conditions has tripled over the last two decades (Whitaker, 2015).
Elliott and I argue that a “medicalized” framework pathologizes reasonable responses to trauma and pain; this frameworks also disempowers clients—which is both an unintended and unfortunate consequence. Furthermore, and very importantly, most pharmaceutical interventions for psychological conditions simply don’t work as promised—if at all (Brogan, 2016, 2019; Whitaker, 2015).
Join our conversation to learn the necessary tactics for engaging in this mental health war!
Works Cited
Brogan, K. (2016). A mind of your own: The truth about depression and how women can heal their bodies to reclaim their lives. Harper Wave.
Brogan, K. (2019). Own yourself: The surprising path beyond depression, anxiety, and fatigue to reclaiming your authenticity, vitality, and freedom. Hay House.
Spielmans, G., Spence-Sing, T., & Parry, P. (2020). Duty to warn: Antidepressant black box suicidality warning is empirically justified. Frontiers in Psychiatry, 20. ttps://www.frontiersin.org/articles/10.3389/fpsyt.2020.00018/full
Whitaker, R. (2015). Anatomy of an epidemic. Broadway Books.
Dr. Karin & Pastor Elliott Anderson
Website: http://loveandlifemedia.com/
Empowered Dating Playbook: smarturl.it/EmpoweredDatingBook
Instagram: @dr.karin | @pastorelliottanderson
Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/love-and-life-media/message
Elliott’s mental health series continues with a message about addiction. Sadly, addictions have touched us all—whether we’ve struggled ourselves or we’ve endured the pain of watching a loved one wrestle with the grip of addiction.
Elliott shares an understanding of addiction through a Biblical lens. He tackles questions surrounding the grip of addiction and the hope and healing we can find in Christ.
Download Elliott’s PowerPoint here: https://www.dropbox.com/scl/fi/6pku0usfyr8cz8enz2dyi/Altering-Addictions.pptx?rlkey=t1p3y55dyo1gjhdvzzs4q82l1&dl=0
Dr. Karin & Pastor Elliott Anderson
Website: http://loveandlifemedia.com/
Empowered Dating Playbook: smarturl.it/EmpoweredDatingBook
Instagram: @dr.karin | @pastorelliottanderson
--- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/love-and-life-media/message
Depression. No one can escape it. Yes, some of us struggle more than others, but sadness, despondency, and despair are part of life. Of course, we’d prefer to skip over the valleys. We’d rather stay on the mountaintops but that’s not how life works.
- Can we accept depression as a normal part of the human condition?
- Does despondency serve a purpose—other than making us miserable?
- What does Scripture tell us about depression?
One of the reasons Elliott and I take issue with the “disease model” of mental health and the tendency to medicalize our emotions is that it assumes that depression and anxiety are bad.
And of course, they’re uncomfortable and undesirable. But don’t our emotions provide us with important information? Might we benefit from paying attention to what our feelings are trying to tell us, as opposed to masking them and covering them up with a drug?
Elliott discusses all this and much more in this week’s message, “Diminishing Depression.”
Download Elliott’s PowerPoint here: https://www.dropbox.com/scl/fi/o0iict7yabpm2d71iym00/Diminishing-Depression.pptx?rlkey=ydfqnlp1fk9m5mhyh9mq1y8sd&dl=0
Dr. Karin & Pastor Elliott Anderson
Website: http://loveandlifemedia.com/
Empowered Dating Playbook: smarturl.it/EmpoweredDatingBook
Instagram: @dr.karin | @pastorelliottanderson
--- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/love-and-life-media/message
Abating - something becomes smaller and less intense.
Did you know we are dealing with an epidemic of loneliness in our culture today? More than ever people are asserting feelings of loneliness in their lives.
Today we continue Pastor Elliott’s series on mental health on the topic of loneliness. He covers the following topics:
-
What is loneliness?
-
How we emotionally and physically respond to it
-
3 ways we are most vulnerable to loneliness
-
3 ways to abate loneliness
Thank you for listening!
Dr. Karin & Pastor Elliott Anderson
Website: http://loveandlifemedia.com/
Empowered Dating Playbook: smarturl.it/EmpoweredDatingBook
Instagram: @dr.karin | @pastorelliottanderson
Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/love-and-life-media/message
Do you struggle with anxiety? Have you felt disempowered on how to address it in your life?
In today’s episode Elliott shares a presentation he gave on the topic of anxiety and how we can proactively attack it with action!
Elliott discusses the following:
- The Top 8 Causes of Anxiety
- Mental and Physical Manifestations
- The Root of Anxiety
- And Steps to Overcome Anxiety Through: Situational Awareness, Positive Self-Talk, Physiological Regulation, and Sleep
Download Pastor Elliott’s Power Point Presentation: https://www.dropbox.com/scl/fi/jzozv331w2s96z9n51tqy/Attacking-Anxiety-with-Action-7.23.23.pptx?rlkey=fum0rh3sojqita7rg59o2azv9&dl=0
Dr. Karin & Pastor Elliott Anderson
Website: http://loveandlifemedia.com/
Empowered Dating Playbook: smarturl.it/EmpoweredDatingBook
Instagram: @dr.karin | @pastorelliottanderson
Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/love-and-life-media/message
How can we remain empowered when we’ve been on the dating scene for SO long?
As you know, I spent 27 years dating—from age 15 until I married at 42. It can be exhausting, demoralizing, and heartbreaking.
How then, do we remain happy, hopeful, and positive on our journey to love?
Today’s guest, Roshini Rajkumar, also dated for many years before meeting her now husband. Fun fact: they fell in love at first sight!
Here's some more about Roshini. Roshini Rajkumar is a crisis strategist, C-suite advisor, and media insider. Core clients include Fortune 500 brands and their leaders. In her public life, Roshini is a media commentator and host of The Crisis Files podcast, which is also in pitch phase as a television pilot. She draws upon 25 years on air—first as a TV reporter. Then after starting her business in 2006, as host of REAL Talk with Roshini, which aired Sundays on WCCO Radio from 2012 through 2021.
Roshini shares the 7 important steps she discovered as she navigated relationships in her twenties and thirties. And actually, these same principles prove helpful not only for empowered dating, but also for empowered living!
Roshini and I discuss our journeys—including marrying later to a man with children—and the 7 concrete steps we can take to keep our head in the game, while following our heart.
Roshini Rajkumar
Website: http://ownyourwow.com/
Twitter: @RoshiniR and @TheCrisisFiles
Instagram: @RoshiniRajkumar and @TheCrisisFiles
YouTube: @TheCrisisFiles
Dr. Karin & Pastor Elliott Anderson
Website: http://loveandlifemedia.com/
Empowered Dating Playbook: smarturl.it/EmpoweredDatingBook
Instagram: @dr.karin | @pastorelliottanderson
Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/love-and-life-media/message
According to a recent KFF poll, 77% of women would like birth control pills to be available without a prescription—assuming they’re safe and effective.
But are they?
Effective? Okay. But, safe? Not so much.
Among the many side effects of using hormonal birth control is an increased risk of breast cancer.
According to a study by Dr. Marilyn Althuis of the University of Maryland, “Women under 35 years old who are using contraceptive drugs have a 91% higher risk for developing breast cancer than women who use hormone-free contraception.”
And sadly, the risk of breast cancer is just the tip of the iceberg!
Dr. Leah Gordon specializes in helping women “break up with birth control” and balance their hormones naturally which allows them to optimize their fertility to prepare for pregnancy, if that’s their goal.
Join us to hear why a switch from hormonal birth control—including, The Pill, progestin-laced IUDs, vaginal rings, implants, and injections—will help you take charge of your emotional health and level up in love and life!
Citations:
Wadia-Ellis, S. (2020). Busting breast cancer: Five smple steps to keep breast cancer out of your body. Busting Breast Cancer.
Althius, M.D. et al., (2003). Hormonal content and potency of oral contraceptives and breast cancer risk among young women. British Journal of Cancer, 8, (1), 50-57.
Dolle, J. et al. (2009). Risk factors for Triple-Negative breast cancer in women under the age of 45 years. Cancer Epidemiology Biomarkers & Prevention, 18, (4), 413-439.
https://www.kff.org/womens-health-policy/press-release/most-women-are-in-favor-of-making-birth-control-pills-available-over-the-counter-without-a-prescription-if-research-shows-they-are-safe-and-effective/
Dr. Leah
Website: https://www.drleahgordon.com/
Instagram: @drleahgordon
Womanhood Wellness: https://www.womanhoodwellness.com/
Dr. Karin & Pastor Elliott Anderson
Website: http://loveandlifemedia.com/
Empowered Dating Playbook: smarturl.it/EmpoweredDatingBook
Instagram: @dr.karin | @pastorelliottanderson
Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/love-and-life-media/message
Psychotherapist Elliott Anderson is back to continue our series on Attachment Styles. This week we unpack Avoidant Attachment and consider the question, “Is it actually possible to have a relationship with someone with an avoidant attachment style?”
Specifically, we address:
- Why avoidant men may initially appear very excited about the relationship and interested in commitment, but then later, they pull away.
- The internal struggle of Avoidant Attachment.
- The Pursuer-Distancer cycle—if you’ve dated someone with an Avoidant Attachment style, you’ve likely experienced this, especially if you have an Anxious Attachment style.
- When he marries you, but is still avoidant!
- Why it’s imperative to maintain your self-respect—and how to do so!
- Ways to bring up concerns about emotional intimacy with an avoidant partner.
- How to figure out if his Avoidant Attachment is something you can work with or if he’s completely emotionally unavailable.
- How to determine if you’re experiencing Avoidant Attachment yourself or, if you’re simply with the wrong person.
- Cultivating intimacy with someone with Avoidant Attachment—it is possible!
If you’ve dated someone with an Avoidant Attachment style, you know how confusing it can be. Join us to gain clarity around attachment and acquire specific strategies to help build a healthy connection!
Dr. Karin & Pastor Elliott Anderson
Website: http://loveandlifemedia.com/
Empowered Dating Playbook: smarturl.it/EmpoweredDatingBook
Instagram: @dr.karin | @pastorelliottanderson
Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/love-and-life-media/message
Join us today as we revisit Love & Life's most popular episode to date: Anxious Attachment on Dating and Relationships with Elliott Anderson, M.A. Ep. 165
I hear this question from women in my community all the time—“I have an anxious attachment style. Will I ever be able to be in a secure relationship?”
To address this concern, psychotherapist Elliott Anderson and I take a deep dive into anxious attachment and how it impacts dating and relationships.
Specifically, we discuss:
- Anxious attachment and our desire for intimacy.
- Trauma bonds and anxious attachment.
- When feeling anxiety in a relationship is a GOOD thing!
- How the hookup culture has impacted attachment.
- Masculine and feminine energy as they relate to attachment.
Elliott shares insights from his 30 years of working with clients and couples. Join us to gain a greater understanding of anxious attachment and how it may influence your dating patterns and relationship dynamics.
Dr. Karin & Pastor Elliott Anderson
Website: http://loveandlifemedia.com/
Empowered Dating Playbook: smarturl.it/EmpoweredDatingBook
Instagram: @dr.karin | @pastorelliottanderson
Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/love-and-life-media/message
We recently received a question from a listener in our community: “What is spiritual abuse in and outside of a Christian context and how do individuals heal from it?”
The timing was perfect as Elliott and I had planned on continuing our woundedness series with an episode devoted to the spiritual wound.
Elliott and I discuss 3 types of spiritual abuse:
Complete absence of spiritual opportunity.
Involvement in faith-based communities that operate out of shame, fear, and abuse.
Spiritual authorities (parents, teachers, pastors, spouses, and others) who use their position as a tool to foster spiritual abuse.
We end the episode with some practical steps and ways to move forward from abuse into healing! Citation: https://www.pewresearch.org/short-reads/2019/01/31/are-religious-people-happier-healthier-our-new-global-study-explores-this-question/
Dr. Karin & Pastor Elliott Anderson Website: http://loveandlifemedia.com/ Empowered Dating Playbook: smarturl.it/EmpoweredDatingBook Instagram: @dr.karin | @pastorelliottanderson
Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/love-and-life-media/message
Have you ever dated a narcissist? Have you been in a relationship with someone so cold and cruel, you’re pretty sure he/she could be diagnosed as having Narcissistic Personality Disorder? Then again, maybe he was just a bad guy!
Either way, this episode is for you!
Elliott and I discuss the following:
- The prevalence of Narcissistic Personality Disorder.
- The DSM criteria for NPD.
- Narcissism as a result of trauma.
- Attachment Style and NPD.
- Borderline Personality Disorder vs. Narcissistic Personality Disorder.
- Why you’re so attracted to narcissists.
- How to STOP being attracted to narcissists!
Join us to delve into the points above—and more!—on the narcissistic wound.
Dr. Karin & Pastor Elliott Anderson
Website: http://loveandlifemedia.com/
Empowered Dating Playbook: smarturl.it/EmpoweredDatingBook
Instagram: @dr.karin | @pastorelliottanderson
Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/love-and-life-media/message
We’re back for part 2 of our conversation with Dr. Duana Welch to tackle the frustrating reality so many women experience—they want to fall for a good guy, but struggle to feel the sparks and attraction.
Dr. Welch calls this the “Nice Guy, but Syndrome” because she hears this all too often, “He’s a nice guy, but . . .”
In part 2 we cover the following:
- Do you really have an Anxious Attachment style or do you need to alter some fundamental dating strategies?
- Why we’re attracted to bad boys and what we can do about it!
- How fear causes us to give too much too soon—which exacerbates our anxiety and reduces his capacity to be drawn to us.
- Tangible steps to take to build attraction to the nice guy!
- How Dr. Welch met her “nice guy” husband online in a few short months.
If you’re suffering from “Nice Guy, But . . . Syndrome,” help is here! Join us to learn how to fall for the stayers, and sidestep the players!
Dr. Duana Welch
Website: http://lovesciencemedia.com
Dr. Karin & Pastor Elliott Anderson
Website: http://loveandlifemedia.com/
Empowered Dating Playbook: smarturl.it/EmpoweredDatingBook
Instagram: @dr.karin | @pastorelliottanderson
Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/love-and-life-media/message
Are you attracted to bad boys? Do you try to fall for the nice guys but end up feeling . . . meh?
If so, this episode is for you!
Love & Life fan favorite, Dr. Duana Welch, is back to share the science based reasons you can’t get enough of emotionally unavailable men, yet you struggle to be attracted to men you know would be good for you.
Dr. Welch shares:
- Why women are so often drawn to bad boys.
- The personality trait a partner CANNOT have if you want a healthy relationship.
- How your attachment style impacts your ability to attract—and be attracted to—stable, secure partners.
- How to avoid The Dark Triad i.e. traits of abusive partners which are incredibly resistant to change.
- The biggest predictor as to whether or not a man will cheat on you.
- Why the notion of “Mating Centrism” is crucial to comprehend and why your search for love will be incredibly difficult until you understand this!
Join us for a lively conversation grounded in Dr. Welch’s command of the psych research and Elliott’s extensive experience working with couples!
Dr. Duana Welch
Website: http://lovesciencemedia.com
Dr. Karin & Pastor Elliott Anderson
Website: http://loveandlifemedia.com/
Empowered Dating Playbook: smarturl.it/EmpoweredDatingBook
Instagram: @dr.karin | @pastorelliottanderson
Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/love-and-life-media/message
Money and relationships intersect on myriad levels. Our behavior around finances reflects our beliefs, values, and priorities—and, the same could be said about our behavior around relationships!
Certified Financial Consultant Veronica Grant joins Elliott and me to discuss dating, relationships, and money.
As Veronica puts it, “We don’t want to bring bank statements to a first date, but it’s important to gather information about financial choices and habits early on to be sure your values align in this all important domain.
Moreover, according to research in the journal, Family Relations, couples’ arguments regarding finances are most predictive of divorce, so it’s critical we learn about each other’s spending patterns before we walk down the aisle!
Specifically, Veronica, Elliott, and I delve into:
- Non-invasive questions to ask—even on a first date!—that will give you a sense of your date’s financial choices and habits.
- What to do if you realize you’re not aligned on money matters.
- Money and power dynamics in relationships.
All too often, we fail to acknowledge the profound impact of money on love and love on money. Join us to learn more!
https://www.researchgate.net/publication/258879033_Examining_the_Relationship_Between_Financial_Issues_and_Divorce
Veronica Grant
Website: https://www.veronicagrant.com/
Instagram: @veronicaegrant
Dr. Karin & Pastor Elliott Anderson
Website: http://loveandlifemedia.com/
Empowered Dating Playbook: smarturl.it/EmpoweredDatingBook
Instagram: @dr.karin | @pastorelliottanderson
Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/love-and-life-media/message
Power dynamics are an inherent element of all relationships. According to the “Law of Least Interest,” the person who is least interested in maintaining the relationship holds the majority of the power.
Naturally, this principle impacts dating and marriage.
- How can we ensure our power balance remains equitable?
- What do we do when we realize we lack power in our partnership?
This week we answer these questions and more!
Elliott provides tangible steps for ensuring power equity in your relationship—techniques which have helped hundreds of couples move through power plays to reestablish balance and harmony.
Join us for a deep dive into this critical concern—especially if you’ve recognized your partner has all the power!
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Principle_of_least_interest#:~:text=The%20Principle%20of%20Least%20Interest,the%20balance%20of%20power%20tilts.
Dr. Karin & Pastor Elliott Anderson
Website: http://loveandlifemedia.com/
Empowered Dating Playbook: smarturl.it/EmpoweredDatingBook
Instagram: @dr.karin | @pastorelliottanderson
--- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/love-and-life-media/message
In today’s world of screens and scrolling, many of us find ourselves struggling to concentrate and focus. In recent years, more and more Americans have received diagnoses of ADHD. Such diagnoses may often present unique challenges to dating and relating.
Help is here! Elliott has been energetic since birth—our mom even claims he was more active in the womb!😊 Over the years, teachers suggested he might need medication, but because our dad was adamantly anti pharma, Elliott learned other ways to cope with—and even embrace!—his hyperactivity.
We begin with some thoughts on the DSM’s (Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders) changing definitions of Attention Deficit Disorder and how the exponential increase of ADHD diagnoses impacts individuals and our society.
Specifically, we consider:
- Has the condition truly changed or has our conception and expectations of childhood behavior evolved?
- When people internalize an identity of ADHD, what does this do to their sense of self i.e. their self-concept and beliefs around their capabilities?
We then answer a listener’s question about how to best support her new boyfriend who has ADHD. Join us to hear both personal and professional commentary on ADHD!
Dr. Karin & Pastor Elliott Anderson
Website: http://loveandlifemedia.com/
Empowered Dating Playbook: smarturl.it/EmpoweredDatingBook
Instagram: @dr.karin | @pastorelliottanderson
--- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/love-and-life-media/message
According to the Institute of Family Studies, 20% of married men and 13% of married women have admitted to cheating on their spouse. For many couples, infidelity destroys their marriage—40% of adults who have committed adultery are now divorced compared to 17% of spouses who have never cheated.
But affairs don’t always end marriages and in today’s episode, Jill and Mark Savage share how they navigated the valley of infidelity and emerged with a deeper intimacy and connection. As Mark puts it, “We now have the marriage we’d always dreamed of.”
Jill and Mark speak specifically to these themes and questions:
- How we often misuse our strengths in marriage.
- The trap of “parenting” your spouse.
- The delicate balance of control—when one spouse dominates and the other allows it.
- Can strong, independent women enjoy traditional marriage roles?
- Owning our part in marital dysfunction.
- How those with Avoidant Attachment and Anxious Attachment can forge strong relationships.
- How to “recover” from your attachment style.
- How we often unwittingly behave in ways that cause our worst relationship fears to come true!
Jill and Mark share their story hoping to encourage and inspire other couples. Healing from infidelity IS possible!
https://ifstudies.org/blog/who-cheats-more-the-demographics-of-cheating-in-america
Sponsor:
Magic Mind: www.magicmind.co/lovelife
Use code LOVELIFE20 for 20% off your order
Jill & Mark Savage
Website: https://jillsavage.org/
Dr. Karin & Pastor Elliott Anderson
Website: http://loveandlifemedia.com/
Empowered Dating Playbook: smarturl.it/EmpoweredDatingBook
Instagram: @dr.karin | @pastorelliottanderson
--- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/love-and-life-media/message
What is a woman? In the last several years, this question—which once would have seemed perfectly obvious to anyone—has become both perplexing and divisive.
Feminist Kara Dansky joins Love & Life for our first “Love & Life: Let’s Talk About It!” episode. We’re committed to open conversations—even about subjects that are currently considered taboo.
Kara and I consider the following questions:
- What is gender vs. sex?
- Does “gender identity” exist?
- How should we compassionately respond to gender dysphoria?
- Are children truly more likely to commit suicide if they aren’t permitted to transition or are suicide rates higher post transitioning?
- In some cases, do men claim a trans identity in order to access women’s spaces?
- What about men in women’s sports?
- Is the trans movement homophobic?
- Does the trans movement dehumanize women?
- Is the trans movement related to transhumanism?
- What is a woman?
We invite you to join us as we tackle this momentous subject. We share our thoughts with open minds and open hearts.
Sponsor:
Magic Mind: www.magicmind.co/lovelife
Use code LOVELIFE20 for 20% off your order
Kara Dansky
Women's Declaration: https://www.womensdeclaration.com/en/
Dr. Karin & Pastor Elliott Anderson
Website: http://loveandlifemedia.com/
Empowered Dating Playbook: smarturl.it/EmpoweredDatingBook
Instagram: @dr.karin | @pastorelliottanderson
--- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/love-and-life-media/message
Sponsor:
Magic Mind: www.magicmind.co/lovelife
Use code LOVELIFE20 for 20% off your order
Dr. Karin & Pastor Elliott Anderson
Website: http://loveandlifemedia.com/
Empowered Dating Playbook: smarturl.it/EmpoweredDatingBook
Instagram: @dr.karin | @pastorelliottanderson
--- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/love-and-life-media/message
Welcome to a “behind the scenes” episode of Love & Life! Elliott and I loop in our older brother, Warren, to discuss the influence of our sibling relationships on our development.
We begin by delving into how birth order impacts our personality traits. With 3 kids in our family we’ve had fun analyzing each other over the years and we do, in fact, possess many of the stereotypical traits of oldests, middles, and youngests. Elliott brings up a recent time where I was in charge of a gig we played together—spoiler alert: babies aren’t typically the best leaders!
We discuss Dr. Kevin Leman’s seminal work, The Birth Order Book: Why You Are the Way You Are. Warren explains that it’s “lonely at the top” and Elliott reminds him how bossy he is!
We examine our marriages in light of our spouses’ birth orders—which dynamics work well and which dynamics prove challenging.
Join us for a behind the scenes look at Anderson sibling dynamics! We hope our conversation provides a touchstone for you as you analyze how your sibling connections have influenced your current relationships.
https://birthorderguy.com/
https://www.ted.com/talks/jeffrey_kluger_the_sibling_bond
Sponsor:
Magic Mind: www.magicmind.co/lovelife
Use code LOVELIFE20 for 20% off your order
Dr. Karin & Pastor Elliott Anderson
Website: http://loveandlifemedia.com/
Empowered Dating Playbook: smarturl.it/EmpoweredDatingBook
Instagram: @dr.karin | @pastorelliottanderson
--- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/love-and-life-media/message
When we consider our childhood, we typically think about our parents’ influence on our development. But what about our brothers and sisters?
Recent research in developmental psychology suggests we’ve been overlooking the profound impact our siblings have on us—not only on our childhood experiences, but also our adult relationships.
As siblings ourselves, Elliott and I have lots to say about this topic!
We discuss the unique bond brothers and sisters share and the woundedness that can occur due to sibling rivalry and competition. And, we consider several research studies along with Jeff Kluger’s book, The Sibling Effect.
Finally, Elliott offers recommendations for how to heal from sibling wounds and how to approach your brother or sister to discuss the pain in efforts to move toward reconciliation.
https://www.ted.com/talks/jeffrey_kluger_the_sibling_bond?language=en
Sponsor:
Magic Mind: www.magicmind.co/lovelife
Use code LOVELIFE20 for 20% off your order
Dr. Karin & Pastor Elliott Anderson
Website: http://loveandlifemedia.com/
Empowered Dating Playbook: smarturl.it/EmpoweredDatingBook
Instagram: @dr.karin | @pastorelliottanderson
--- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/love-and-life-media/message
In part 2 of our conversation about sexual wounds, Elliott and I discuss how you can identify a sexual wound—whether you’re wondering if you’ve been wounded or perhaps your partner has.
Elliott shares the two main ways sexual wounds manifest—in hyper-sexual behavior or hypo-sexuality.
We wrap up our conversation with tangible steps to take to help you or your partner heal from sexual wounds.
Join us for Part 2 of our Sexual Wound series to discern if past sexual woundedness is impacting your current sexual expression—and if so, how to find healing and hope.
Sponsor:
Magic Mind: www.magicmind.co/lovelife
Use code LOVELIFE20 for 20% off your order
Dr. Karin & Pastor Elliott Anderson
Website: http://loveandlifemedia.com/
Empowered Dating Playbook: smarturl.it/EmpoweredDatingBook
Instagram: @dr.karin | @pastorelliottanderson
--- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/love-and-life-media/message
In today’s hypersexualized culture, it’s difficult to avoid abuse or pain regarding our sexuality. Therefore, to some degree, most of us suffer from a sexual wound.
Specifically, sexual wounds occur when physically intimate bonds are created outside of a committed monogamous partnership.
Sexual wounds result from:
- Hook ups
- Paid sex
- Adultery
- Sexual abuse/molestation/incest
- Rape
- Pornography
Furthermore, sexual wounds can also occur within a committed, monogamous
partnership when the expression of sexuality is not free, open, enjoyed, and
fulfilling.
Join us for Part 1 of our Sexual Wound series to discern if past sexual woundedness is impacting your current sexual expression.
Dr. Karin & Pastor Elliott Anderson
Website: http://loveandlifemedia.com/
Empowered Dating Playbook: smarturl.it/EmpoweredDatingBook
Instagram: @dr.karin | @pastorelliottanderson
--- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/love-and-life-media/message
On Love & Life, we’re all about THRIVING in every realm of love and life!
This sounds great, of course. But it also sets a very high bar—which can, admittedly, feel daunting and overwhelming.
Elliott and I are here to help! As Elliott moves from Love & Life “fan favorite guest” to co-host, he’ll provide expertise based on over 30 years of counseling individuals and couples. He also brings his pastoral wisdom and experience.
By collaborating, we’ll broaden the scope of our content—because ultimately, we can’t thrive in love and life unless we nourish our mind, body, and spirit.
So, while Love & Life remains focused on our relationships and flourishing therein, we’ll incorporate other key concerns related to our mission: Providing conversations grounded in psych research, psychotherapy, and Biblical truth to help us thrive in love and life!
Join us to hear more about our mission and vision in this week’s episode!
Dr. Karin & Pastor Elliott Anderson
Website: http://loveandlifemedia.com/
Empowered Dating Playbook: smarturl.it/EmpoweredDatingBook
Instagram: @dr.karin | @pastorelliottanderson
--- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/love-and-life-media/message
More questions keep coming in so Elliott and I recorded another Q&A episode for you!
- “Helene” has been on at least 75 dates over the last 5 years. She’s frustrated that the guys she’s into never pursue her while the ones she’s not attracted to want to date her. She’s concerned that maybe now she’s putting up walls after so much disappointment.
- “Janey” says she matched with a guy on a dating app 2 years ago. She asked him a question and he responded, but then she never responded back. She thought he was out of her league. Recently she saw him on another dating app and she wants to message him. What should she say?
- “Linda” wants to know our best advice for an engaged couple as they plan for marriage.
Join us to hear our thoughts on these questions. Click the link in the show notes below if you’d like us to answer a question for you!
Ask Elliott and me a question here!
Dr. Karin & Pastor Elliott Anderson
Website: http://loveandlifemedia.com/
Empowered Dating Playbook: smarturl.it/EmpoweredDatingBook
Instagram: @dr.karin | @pastorelliottanderson
--- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/love-and-life-media/message
When we’ve been on the dating scene for a while and endured so much heartache, how can we believe good men still exist?
It’s so easy to give up hope, but we don’t want to become bitter or demoralized!
In this Q&A episode, Elliott and I answer your questions:
- “Valerie” wants to know how she can possibly trust men again after her boyfriend of 6 months broke up with her right after her miscarriage of their baby.
- “Sarah” has been in 3 long term relationships and each time she caught her partner lying about debt, infidelity, and drugs. She worries she’ll never be able to meet a man of integrity.
- “Maggie” recently got back together with her ex who used drugs recreationally when they dated before—which is why she broke up with him. He says he’s left that lifestyle behind but she still wonders if she’ll ever be able to fully trust him.
Join us to hear strategies for healing and rebuilding hope and trust.
Dr. Karin & Pastor Elliott Anderson
Website: http://loveandlifemedia.com/
Empowered Dating Playbook: smarturl.it/EmpoweredDatingBook
Instagram: @dr.karin | @pastorelliottanderson
--- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/love-and-life-media/message
How often do you ask yourself, “How am I doing?” If you're like most of us, the answer may be–not often enough!
Detroit Pistons psychotherapist, Dr. Corey Yeager, invites us to ask ourselves this very question. His new book, “How Am I Doing? 40 Conversations to Have with Yourself” provides thought provoking prompts for deeper self knowledge–of who you’ve been and who you intend to become!
I highlighted some of my favorite quotes from Dr. Yeager’s book and asked him to elaborate on them. Specifically, we explore:
- The importance of being sure you’re the one writing your story!
- Listening to your inner voice and monitoring your self talk.
- Growing up, Dr. Yeager heard things like, “Don’t become someone your family wouldn’t recognize!” How do we honor our family of origin while still resonating with our authentic selves?
- The tension between “Making the right choice” vs. “Making the choice right!”
- The impact of untruths we tell ourselves!
- Dr. Yeager’s definition of True Freedom and the heavy responsibility inherent to freedom.
- How we can frame our pain and struggles as gifts!
- How “personifying” your relationship with anxiety provides you with control over what feels uncontrollable
Dr. Yeager’s book digs deep yet remains accessible to all–no matter where you are in your journey toward self discovery!
Dr. Corey Yeager
Website: https://doctorcoreyyeager.com/
Dr. Corey Yeager's Book - "How Am I Doing?": https://www.amazon.com/How-Am-Doing-Conversations-Yourself/dp/1400236762
Dr. Karin & Pastor Elliott Anderson
Website: http://loveandlifemedia.com/
Empowered Dating Playbook: smarturl.it/EmpoweredDatingBook
Instagram: @dr.karin | @pastorelliottanderson
We're wrapping up our series on Dr. Chapman's 5 Love Languages with a couple more I've developed over my 30+ years working with couples—challenge and presentation!
-
Challenge: How we challenge each other in a committed romantic relationship—to be the best version of ourselves, in relationships, career, family, and faith—is critical mortar solidifying or weakening, your love language wall. Research shows one of the main reasons marriages break down is boredom! But couples who commit to challenging one another via encouragement and exhortation toward growth and development, strengthen their intimacy and keep their connection exciting!
-
Presentation: How we present our partner to others displays how we view him/her. Furthermore, when we’re married, our spouse is a representation of us at all times. How partners present each other to family, friends, and community is another enormously important language that allows the other five love languages to thrive or be denied. Listen to learn how challenge and presentation interact with the 5 Love Languages and please let us know your thoughts!
Quizzes, Resources, & more: Website: https://5lovelanguages.com/ Chapman, G. (1992, 1995, 2004, 2010, 2015). The 5 love languages: the secret to love that lasts. Northfield Publishing.
Pastor Elliott's Love Language Assessments (based on the work of Dr. Gary Chapman): https://www.dropbox.com/sh/793lofijjenc7qe/AAC2Ve_MiXMpx97YfH9pHebLa?dl=0
Dr. Karin & Pastor Elliott Anderson
Website: http://loveandlifemedia.com/
Empowered Dating Playbook: smarturl.it/EmpoweredDatingBook
Instagram: @dr.karin | @pastorelliottanderson
--- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/love-and-life-media/support
We’re kicking off Valentine’s Week with a series on Dr. Gary Chapman’s 5 Love Languages. We’ll be devoting an episode to each love language and rolling them out every day this week.
Even if you’re familiar with Love Languages, this series is for you! We’re taking a broad approach to them by including their influence on our friendships and family relationships, in addition to our romantic partnerships.
Elliott & I discuss the following:
- Fascinating research behind the power of touch.
- Don’t all men have physical touch as their top love language?
- The importance of pacing physical touch as your intimacy develops and how this relates to hookup culture.
- How men and women experience touch differently based on our differing physicalities.
- Repairing physical touch after infidelity.
- Attachment styles as they relate to physical touch.
Elliott shares stories of the impact of Love Languages from his 30+ years of working with couples. Join us today and throughout the week for a deep dive into the influence of Love Languages on every relationship in your life!
Quizzes, Resources, & more:
Website: https://5lovelanguages.com/
Chapman, G. (1992, 1995, 2004, 2010, 2015). The 5 love languages: the secret to love that lasts. Northfield Publishing.
Pastor Elliott's Love Language Assessments (based on the work of Dr. Gary Chapman): https://www.dropbox.com/sh/793lofijjenc7qe/AAC2Ve_MiXMpx97YfH9pHebLa?dl=0
Dr. Karin & Pastor Elliott Anderson
Website: http://loveandlifemedia.com/
Empowered Dating Playbook: smarturl.it/EmpoweredDatingBook
Instagram: @dr.karin | @pastorelliottanderson
--- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/love-and-life-media/support
We’re kicking off Valentine’s Week with a series on Dr. Gary Chapman’s 5 Love Languages. We’ll be devoting an episode to each love language and rolling them out every day this week.
Even if you’re familiar with Love Languages, this series is for you! We’re taking a broad approach to them by including their influence on our friendships and family relationships, in addition to our romantic partnerships.
Elliott & I discuss the following:
- Why acts of service in partnership may feel harder to receive for people who were single for a long time.
- How acts of service are critical to couples in crisis recovery.
- The vulnerability inherent to giving and receiving acts of service.
- How to communicate which acts of service you desire and why it’s important you do so!
Elliott shares stories of the impact of Love Languages from his 30+ years of working with couples. Join us today and throughout the week for a deep dive into the influence of Love Languages on every relationship in your life!
Quizzes, Resources, & more:
Website: https://5lovelanguages.com/
Chapman, G. (1992, 1995, 2004, 2010, 2015). The 5 love languages: the secret to love that lasts. Northfield Publishing.
Pastor Elliott's Love Language Assessments (based on the work of Dr. Gary Chapman): https://www.dropbox.com/sh/793lofijjenc7qe/AAC2Ve_MiXMpx97YfH9pHebLa?dl=0
Dr. Karin & Pastor Elliott Anderson
Website: http://loveandlifemedia.com/
Empowered Dating Playbook: smarturl.it/EmpoweredDatingBook
Instagram: @dr.karin | @pastorelliottanderson
--- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/love-and-life-media/support
We’re kicking off Valentine’s Week with a series on Dr. Gary Chapman’s 5 Love Languages. We’ll be devoting an episode to each love language and rolling them out every day this week.
Even if you’re familiar with Love Languages, this series is for you! We’re taking a broad approach to them by including their influence on our friendships and family relationships, in addition to our romantic partnerships.
Elliott and I explore the following:
- How to give gifts in the early days of a relationship.
- Values which lay at the root of gift giving.
- If your love language is gifts, are you inherently materialistic?
- How our family of origin influences our feelings about giving and receiving gifts.
Elliott shares stories of the impact of Love Languages from his 30+ years of working with couples. Join us today and throughout the week for a deep dive into the influence of Love Languages on every relationship in your life!
Quizzes, Resources, & more:
Website: https://5lovelanguages.com/
Chapman, G. (1992, 1995, 2004, 2010, 2015). The 5 love languages: the secret to love that lasts. Northfield Publishing.
Pastor Elliott's Love Language Assessments (based on the work of Dr. Gary Chapman): https://www.dropbox.com/sh/793lofijjenc7qe/AAC2Ve_MiXMpx97YfH9pHebLa?dl=0
Dr. Karin & Pastor Elliott Anderson
Website: http://loveandlifemedia.com/
Empowered Dating Playbook: smarturl.it/EmpoweredDatingBook
Instagram: @dr.karin | @pastorelliottanderson
--- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/love-and-life-media/support
We’re kicking off Valentine’s Week with a series on Dr. Gary Chapman’s 5 Love Languages. We’ll be devoting an episode to each love language and rolling them out every day this week.
Even if you’re familiar with Love Languages, this series is for you! We’re taking a broad approach to them by including their influence on our friendships and family relationships, in addition to our romantic partnerships.
Elliott and I explore the following:
- How to negotiate time—even in the early stages of your relationship. I share an example from when Dan and I were first dating and I was late to pick him up from the airport!
- Why couples need to understand the values beneath their conception of time and how sometimes, you share the same values, but express them differently.
- How to approach your partner with a request for more time. Spoiler alert—words of affirmation come in handy!
- How the family life cycle impacts your navigating of quality time.
Elliott shares stories of the impact of Love Languages from his 30+ years of working with couples. Join us today and throughout the week for a deep dive into the influence of Love Languages on every relationship in your life!
Quizzes, Resources, & more:
Website: https://5lovelanguages.com/
Chapman, G. (1992, 1995, 2004, 2010, 2015). The 5 love languages: the secret to love that lasts. Northfield Publishing.
Pastor Elliott's Love Language Assessments (based on the work of Dr. Gary Chapman): https://www.dropbox.com/sh/793lofijjenc7qe/AAC2Ve_MiXMpx97YfH9pHebLa?dl=0
Dr. Karin & Pastor Elliott Anderson
Website: http://loveandlifemedia.com/
Empowered Dating Playbook: smarturl.it/EmpoweredDatingBook
Instagram: @dr.karin | @pastorelliottanderson
--- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/love-and-life-media/support
We’re kicking off Valentine’s Week with a series on Dr. Gary Chapman’s 5 Love Languages. We’ll be devoting an episode to each love language and rolling them out every day this week.
Even if you’re familiar with Love Languages, this series is for you! We’re taking a broad approach to them by including their influence on our friendships and family relationships, in addition to our romantic partnerships.
Elliott and I explore the following:
- Why Words of Affirmation may be the most important love language!
- How to express Words of Affirmation even if you’re not someone who feels comfortable sharing your emotions.
- The difficulty of receiving Words of Affirmation when we don’t feel confident or self-assured—and how to learn to receive them despite our insecurities and woundedness.
- How to give Words of Affirmation to ourselves—and why doing so is a gift to our current or future partner!
Elliott shares stories of the impact of Love Languages from his 30+ years of working with couples. Join us today and throughout the week for a deep dive into the influence of Love Languages on every relationship in your life!
Quizzes, Resources, & more:
Website: https://5lovelanguages.com/
Chapman, G. (1992, 1995, 2004, 2010, 2015). The 5 love languages: the secret to love that lasts. Northfield Publishing.
Pastor Elliott's Love Language Assessments (based on the work of Dr. Gary Chapman): https://www.dropbox.com/sh/793lofijjenc7qe/AAC2Ve_MiXMpx97YfH9pHebLa?dl=0
Dr. Karin & Pastor Elliott Anderson
Website: http://loveandlifemedia.com/
Empowered Dating Playbook: smarturl.it/EmpoweredDatingBook
Instagram: @dr.karin | @pastorelliottanderson
--- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/love-and-life-media/support
All of us face loneliness. We need to acknowledge and move through loneliness to be empowered and encouraged in our relationships.
Last week I gave a message on loneliness at Judson University and we wanted to share it with you.
There are three universal circumstances that automatically generate loneliness. I used the acronym TFL (tackle for loss for you football fans) for these 3 life conditions:
- Transitions
- Fear
- Loss
Loneliness is inherent to these 3 conditions and therefore, it's an unavoidable aspect of life; but we can abate it and even make peace with it.
Loneliness is especially challenging during Valentine's week—whether we're single and wishing we weren't or we're feeling lonely in the context of our romantic relationship.
Our team at Love and Life and the Love & Life community are here to help you throughout Valentine’s and beyond!
Elliott Anderson
Work with Elliott, Books, & More: https://linktr.ee/pastorelliottanderson
Dr. Karin
Website: http://loveandlifemedia.com/
Empowered Dating Playbook: smarturl.it/EmpoweredDatingBook
Instagram: @dr.karin
Single is the New Black:
Audiobook Audible: smarturl.it/SITNB-Audible
iTunes: smarturl.it/SITNB-iTunes
--- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/love-and-life-media/support
For this week’s episode I wanted to share my recent appearance on “Perspective of the Mind or how to get unstuck when you feel stuck
with Diyana Dimitrova”.
In this episode we cover:
- What does it mean healthy and unhealthy relationship?
- Why so many people are in unhealthy relationships?
- How to recognize a deal breaker from the normal ups and downs in a relationship?
- How can we cope with fear of loneliness?
Please considering checking out Diyana’s podcast here: https://anchor.fm/diyana-dimitrova
Dr. Karin
Website: http://loveandlifemedia.com/
Empowered Dating Playbook: smarturl.it/EmpoweredDatingBook
Instagram: @dr.karin
Single is the New Black:
Audiobook Audible: smarturl.it/SITNB-Audible
iTunes: smarturl.it/SITNB-iTunes
--- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/love-and-life-media/support
Boomers, Gen Xers and Millennials remember a world without social media and cell phones but for Gen Z, technology has always been a ubiquitous part of their existence.
So, I was curious as to how Gen Z would respond to our series on technology and relationships.
- Do they have any similar frustrations?
- What do they make of the modern dating landscape as it relates to technology?
- How are their friendships impacted?
- Do they feel technology’s influence on their mental health?
Former Love & Life guest and my BFF, Miriam Conner, said her daughter, Callie, had listened to our series and had some thoughts she was willing to share.
Join us for a Gen Zer’s response to phones, technology, and relationships. Callie and I cover the questions above and more!
https://www.therobinreport.com/a-growing-segment-of-gen-z-is-so-over-social-media/
https://flatheadbeacon.com/2022/12/23/the-luddite-club/
Dr. Karin
Website: http://loveandlifemedia.com/
Empowered Dating Playbook: smarturl.it/EmpoweredDatingBook
Instagram: @dr.karin
Single is the New Black:
Audiobook Audible: smarturl.it/SITNB-Audible
iTunes: smarturl.it/SITNB-iTunes
--- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/love-and-life-media/support
When did you last spend time with someone without a phone in your hand or on the table?
It’s probably been a while . . .
And while phones absolutely enhance our lives and provide the ability to connect with people across the globe, they can also detract from our IRL relationships.
In today’s episode, Elliott and I continue our conversation on phones and relationships by considering the following question: Does social media make you happy?
We explore the following and much more!
- Does “technopherence” create barriers in your relationships?
- Are you having an emotional affair with your phone?
- Are you guilty of phubbing?
- How “intimate” are social media connections?
- How do attachment styles intersect with social media usage?
- When do you pull out your phone—and more importantly, why?
- Elliott’s ABCs of relationships and phones.
PLUS learn Elliott’s step-by-step plan for enhancing intimacy by creating the necessary structure around social media/phone usage!
Elliott Anderson
Work with Elliott, Books, & More: https://linktr.ee/pastorelliottanderson
Dr. Karin
Website: http://loveandlifemedia.com/
Empowered Dating Playbook: smarturl.it/EmpoweredDatingBook
Instagram: @dr.karin
Single is the New Black:
Audiobook Audible: smarturl.it/SITNB-Audible
iTunes: smarturl.it/SITNB-iTunes
--- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/love-and-life-media/support
When you’re with your friends, how long can you make it before one of you pulls out your phone? You’re just responding to texts, of course, or, maybe checking the likes from your last post. Most of us do it all day every day.
But research shows jumping onto social media when you’re with friends IRL may have a detrimental impact on your connection.
There’s even a newish term for this,“technopherence”– technology based interference. And specifically, when “technopherence” disrupts your time with friends, it’s called “phubbing” – “snubbing [friends] in order to focus your attention on your phone” (Degges-White, 2022).
To continue our series on Phones and Relationships, my BFF and Love & Life alum, Miriam Conner, joins me to discuss how we can remain present with our friends and cultivate deep intimacy despite the ubiquity of technology.
Join us to hear the research and learn 3 key tips for managing phones and friendships!
Citation:
https://www.nydailynews.com/entertainment/jennifer-aniston-friends-bust-thanks-cell-phones-article-1.3153045
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/lifetime-connections/202203/is-technoference-damaging-your-relationships
https://www.healthline.com/health/how-social-media-is-ruining-relationships
https://www.psychologicalscience.org/news/releases/how-smartphones-affect-relationships.html
Miriam Conner
Podcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/northeast-ohio-parent-presents-aparently-speaking/id1303267006
Love & Life episodes featuring Miriam:
Ep. 188 - https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/did-you-inherit-your-anxiety-from-your-parents-ep-188/id1183475201?i=1000555598006
Ep. 153 - https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/no-pressure-besties-my-bff-and-i-share-how-its-done-ep-153/id1183475201?i=1000532446517
Ep. 7 - https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/besties-forever-thats-what-we-all-say-but-when-life/id1183475201?i=1000381427870
Dr. Karin
Website: http://loveandlifemedia.com/
Empowered Dating Playbook: smarturl.it/EmpoweredDatingBook
Instagram: @dr.karin
Single is the New Black:
Audiobook Audible: smarturl.it/SITNB-Audible
iTunes: smarturl.it/SITNB-iTunes
--- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/love-and-life-media/support
“It’s like there are four people in your relationship—you, your partner, and your two phones.” – Elliott Anderson, M.A.
Is your phone impacting your ability to cultivate deep, authentic intimacy?
Probably so!
Thanks to the phones in our pockets, we’re able to distract ourselves 24/7—from boredom, loneliness, or any uncomfortable emotion.
But what about when our relationship with our phone trumps our relationship with our significant other?
Join us for a discussion around the very real difficulties couples face when trying to balance relationships with technology and their relationship with their partner.
Spending hours on your phone may absolutely be sabotaging your efforts to cultivate authentic and lasting intimacy.
Elliott Anderson
Work with Elliott, Books, & More: https://linktr.ee/pastorelliottanderson
Dr. Karin
Website: http://loveandlifemedia.com/
Empowered Dating Playbook: smarturl.it/EmpoweredDatingBook
Instagram: @dr.karin
Single is the New Black:
Audiobook Audible: smarturl.it/SITNB-Audible
iTunes: smarturl.it/SITNB-iTunes
--- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/love-and-life-media/support
It’s the most wonderful time of the year! At least, that’s the fantasy . . .
We imagine warm, loving family gatherings—breaking bread, sharing hopes and dreams. Grandparents regaling us with tales of Christmas past. Toddlers and teens giving us a glimpse into Christmas future.
But all too often the warm, loving gathering is neither—it’s cold and combative. Breaking bread breaks hearts as we war over politics, religion, and COVID policies. Grandparents’ stories can’t compete with TikTok. Toddlers throw tantrums while teens remain glued too screens.
Elliott and I discuss common struggles families face when gathering for the holidays. Join us for practical strategies grounded in Family Systems Theory to manage family conflict at Christmas—or any time!
Elliott Anderson
Work with Elliott, Books, & More: https://linktr.ee/pastorelliottanderson
Dr. Karin
Website: http://loveandlifemedia.com/
Empowered Dating Playbook: smarturl.it/EmpoweredDatingBook
Instagram: @dr.karin
Single is the New Black:
Audiobook Audible: smarturl.it/SITNB-Audible
iTunes: smarturl.it/SITNB-iTunes
--- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/love-and-life-media/support
Is your relationship plagued by constant frustrations and arguments? If so, it’s possible power struggles are at the root of your disagreements.
In today’s episode, psychotherapist and pastor, Elliott Anderson, M.A., and I continue our conversation on conflict styles by examining power struggles.
If you haven’t had the chance to listen to parts 1 and 2 of this discussion, please jump back to episodes 220 and 221 of Love & Life so you’ll understand all these animals we’re talking about!
During his 30 years of counseling couples, Elliott has used the Thomas-Kilmann Conflict Style model, which compares the way we negotiate conflict to the ways animals behave and respond.
Take the assessment in the link below to find out which animal you are!
As we delved into conflict, the theme of power kept emerging because, of course, so much of the dissension we experience in relationships is due to power struggles.
Join us to learn how to negotiate power—and conflict!—in your relationships!
Conflict Style Framework
Link: Thomas-Kilmann Assessment Test
Elliott Anderson
Work with Elliott, Books, & More: https://linktr.ee/pastorelliottanderson
Dr. Karin
Website: http://loveandlifemedia.com/
Empowered Dating Playbook: smarturl.it/EmpoweredDatingBook
Instagram: @dr.karin
Single is the New Black:
Audiobook Audible: smarturl.it/SITNB-Audible
iTunes: smarturl.it/SITNB-iTunes
--- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/love-and-life-media/support
If you have siblings, you likely fought with them about anything and everything!
They were your first sparring partners. And, through them—and interactions with parents and friends, too—you developed your conflict style. (For more on conflict styles, check out part 1 of this series, ep. 220 of Love & Life.)
Elliott and I continue our discussion on conflict negotiations in romantic partnership by examining the influence of our temperament, birth order, and our family of origin’s (unwritten) rules regarding conflict resolution.
I ask Elliott to share examples from his over 30 years of counseling couples—which he does. But he also analyzes Dan and me!
Elliott Anderson
Work with Elliott, Books, & More: https://linktr.ee/pastorelliottanderson
Dr. Karin
Website: http://loveandlifemedia.com/
Empowered Dating Playbook: smarturl.it/EmpoweredDatingBook
Instagram: @dr.karin
Single is the New Black:
Audiobook Audible: smarturl.it/SITNB-Audible
iTunes: smarturl.it/SITNB-iTunes
--- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/love-and-life-media/support
Conflict is inherent to every relationship. And though many of us regard conflict as problematic and prefer to avoid it, we don’t actually have to perceive it as negative. In fact, when we negotiate conflict, we deepen intimacy and authentic connection.
That being said, it’s MUCH easier to negotiate conflict if we have a solid understanding of how we tend to respond when dealing with it.
Join Elliott and me as we discuss Thomas–Kilmann’s conflict style framework—a model Elliott has used with couples for over 30 years.
Discover your conflict style and learn how to move through disputations with your partner!
Spoiler alert: Elliott and I get personal in this episode—sharing our own conflict styles and how we respond when disagreeing with our spouses.
Conflict Style Framework
Link: Thomas-Kilmann Assessment Test
Elliott Anderson
Work with Elliott, Books, & More: https://linktr.ee/pastorelliottanderson
Dr. Karin
Website: http://loveandlifemedia.com/
Empowered Dating Playbook: smarturl.it/EmpoweredDatingBook
Instagram: @dr.karin
Single is the New Black:
Audiobook Audible: smarturl.it/SITNB-Audible
iTunes: smarturl.it/SITNB-iTunes
--- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/love-and-life-media/support
Do you feel judged for your financial choices?
If you’re single, you’ve likely experienced single shaming.
And, you probably have also experienced shaming around your financial situation. Single shaming and finances are a thing.
Emily Burnett should know.
In her twenties, she was $50,000 in debt.
She felt the shame.
Then, she pulled herself out of debt and she now helps others create a plan to move from financial shackles to financial freedom!
- We delve into the following:
- The freedom inherent to financial discipline.
- The fact that you’re on a budget—whether or not you’re aware of it.
- How to ditch the guilt around spending!
- How women can validate our own financial choices.
- The importance of creating boundaries around finances.
How to get support!
Emily is offering a free masterclass—Budgeting That Doesn’t Feel Like a Chore: Make 2023 Your Best Year Yet. 3 Simple Steps for Changing Your Money and Your Life—For Good. Sign up here! https://www.mosomoney.com/masterclass
Dr. Karin
Website: http://loveandlifemedia.com/
Empowered Dating Playbook: smarturl.it/EmpoweredDatingBook
Instagram: @dr.karin
Single is the New Black:
Audiobook Audible: smarturl.it/SITNB-Audible
iTunes: smarturl.it/SITNB-iTunes
--- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/love-and-life-media/support
We wrapped up our recent Love & Life Live by answering questions from both our Instagram viewers and in-person audience.
Elliott and I shared our thoughts on the following questions:
- What is an appropriate pacing for a relationship?
- Butterflies—are we looking for them? Or, is it better to go for that calm feeling?
- How can I know his or her intentions?
- How do I know if my attraction is healthy or if I’m attracted to people who aren’t good for me due to a trauma bond?
- How can we deal with conflict in our relationship when we both try to avoid confrontation at all costs?
These are very common and important questions; we hope our discussion will help you on your journey to deep, authentic intimacy!
Elliott Anderson
Work with Elliott, Books, & More: https://linktr.ee/pastorelliottanderson
Dr. Karin
Website: http://loveandlifemedia.com/
Empowered Dating Playbook: smarturl.it/EmpoweredDatingBook
Instagram: @dr.karin
Single is the New Black:
Audiobook Audible: smarturl.it/SITNB-Audible
iTunes: smarturl.it/SITNB-iTunes
Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/love-and-life-media/support
In this second part of our recent Love & Life Live, psychotherapist Elliott Anderson and I continue our conversation on how to cultivate deep, authentic, emotionally healthy intimacy.
Specifically, we tackle the following:
- 10 Warning Signs in Relationships.
- 10 Environmental Contexts and Concerns.
- 10 Family of Origin Dynamics to Observe and Discuss.
- 4 Non-negotiable Dealbreakers!
Yes, love is a mystery, but we can take some of the confusion out of it by keeping our head in the game! Elliott—along with his over 30 years of experience working with couples—is here to help!
Elliott Anderson
Work with Elliott, Books, & More: https://linktr.ee/pastorelliottanderson
Dr. Karin
Website: http://loveandlifemedia.com/
Empowered Dating Playbook: smarturl.it/EmpoweredDatingBook
Instagram: @dr.karin
Single is the New Black:
Audiobook Audible: smarturl.it/SITNB-Audible
iTunes: smarturl.it/SITNB-iTunes
Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/love-and-life-media/support
It’s time for another Love & Life Live! Psychotherapist Elliott Anderson invited me to join him at Judson University last week in his Interpersonal Relationships class. In part 1 of the live, we delve into: The characteristics of authentic intimate relationships. The characteristics of intimate conversations. Healthy, appropriate pacing in friendship development. The characteristics of long-term romantic relationships. The weaknesses in connection that create relationship uncertainty. Find out if your relationship has what it takes to go the distance in part 1 of our latest Love & Life Live!
Elliott Anderson
Work with Elliott, Books, & More: https://linktr.ee/pastorelliottanderson
Dr. Karin
Website: http://loveandlifemedia.com/
Empowered Dating Playbook: smarturl.it/EmpoweredDatingBook
Instagram: @dr.karin
Single is the New Black:
Audiobook Audible: smarturl.it/SITNB-Audible
iTunes: smarturl.it/SITNB-iTunes
Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/love-and-life-media/support
Kara and I are back with an Instagram Live to talk about how to date empowered!
In today’s live we cover these realities and MORE!
- Why you shouldn’t ask a man, “What are we? Where is this going?”
- Why the men you don’t like seem to always pursue you!
- The difference between red flags and deal breakers.
- Why emotional maturity is the goal—we bring it to the table when we’re dating and we have every right to expect it!
- How traditional masculine/feminine dynamics empower WOMEN!
Join us to learn how to stop giving away your power in dating and relationships!
Kara Adams
Website: https://www.thefabkara.com/
Dr. Karin
Website: http://loveandlifemedia.com/
Empowered Dating Playbook: smarturl.it/EmpoweredDatingBook
Instagram: @dr.karin
Single is the New Black:
Audiobook Audible: smarturl.it/SITNB-Audible
iTunes: smarturl.it/SITNB-iTunes
Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/love-and-life-media/support
If you’ve ever wondered if you have “daddy issues” or been curious as to how your relationship with your father influences the men you choose and the dynamics you experience in relationships, this episode is for you! Psychotherapist Elliott Anderson and I take a deep dive into how father wounds show up in our romantic relationships—and most importantly, how we can heal these wounds so as to avoid repeating painful patterns. Elliott and I discuss:
- The two main ways father wounds play out with the couples Elliott counsels.
- How psychotherapy can heal a father wound in unique and profound ways.
- The importance of forgiving our fathers.
- The tension between being drawn to someone who’s good for us vs. feeling like we’re settling.
- Why dating a “fixer upper” never works!
Elliott also talks about his new book, Simon Says: Principles and Perspectives from Dr. Simon V. Anderson. Simon Says shares the abundant wisdom of our father and the profound and enduring impact he had on his children and community.
Elliott Anderson
Work with Elliott, Books, & More: https://linktr.ee/pastorelliottanderson
Dr. Karin
Website: http://loveandlifemedia.com/
Empowered Dating Playbook: smarturl.it/EmpoweredDatingBook
Instagram: @dr.karin
Single is the New Black:
Audiobook Audible: smarturl.it/SITNB-Audible
iTunes: smarturl.it/SITNB-iTunes
Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/love-and-life-media/support
Elliott is back to answer your questions about cultivating healthy, happy relationships! We address the following questions you posed on Instagram:
-
Which is more important—personality or looks?
-
You two make me happy. What are your signs?
-
Are you twins?
-
I just started a new relationship. What are some of the things we can do to know if this is it? Neither of us has been in a relationship this healthy before.
Join us to hear our thoughts on these questions. Also, Elliott goes into depth regarding our sibling bond—including the contentious years!
https://www.loveandlifemedia.com/podcast/episode/25f6a348/how-to-build-deep-romantic-intimacy-love-and-life-live-at-judson-university-with-elliott-anderson-ma-ep-186
Elliott Anderson
Work with Elliott, Books, Instagram, & More: https://linktr.ee/pastorelliottanderson
Dr. Karin
Website: http://loveandlifemedia.com/
Empowered Dating Playbook: smarturl.it/EmpoweredDatingBook
Instagram: @dr.karin
Single is the New Black:
Audiobook Audible: smarturl.it/SITNB-Audible
iTunes: smarturl.it/SITNB-iTunes
Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/love-and-life-media/support
Unpopular opinion: Relationships shouldn’t be all that hard.
It’s an unpopular opinion because the rhetoric around relationships is that they’re so incredibly difficult; you just gotta dig in and not give up.
And yes, once we’ve committed—when we’re married, and we’ve taken vows, and there might be children involved, of course I believe in persevering and sticking with it. As we move through struggles we can—and do—deepen our intimacy. We can emerge stronger after a period of difficulty.
So, this isn’t about bailing out the moment things get tough.
Rather, I’m talking about the relationship phase of dating—when, as we talk about a lot on Love & Life—we’re gathering information about our partner and determining if we’re a fit. And, what often happens, and what I ended up doing myself at times—we make the mistake of committing too much in the exclusive phase. i.e. we act like we’re married when we’re not married. We keep sticking with a relationship that’s not working and try soooooo hard to make it work.
We need to ask ourselves, if a relationship is such hard work, does it mean it’s not SUPPOSED to work?
Join me to learn the 3 key factors to consider when trying to figure out, “Should I stay or should I go?”
Dr. Karin
Website: http://loveandlifemedia.com/
Empowered Dating Playbook: smarturl.it/EmpoweredDatingBook
Instagram: @dr.karin
Single is the New Black:
Audiobook Audible: smarturl.it/SITNB-Audible
iTunes: smarturl.it/SITNB-iTunes
Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/love-and-life-media/support
We’ve all heard, “You are what you eat.” But what about, “You FEEL what you eat”? Put another way, how much of Americans’ struggle with depression and anxiety is due to our diet?
To tackle this question, I’ve invited Functional Medicine Health Coach Amanda Jones to the program.
In our conversation, Amanda and I take issue with the Standard American Diet and Western Medicine’s conventional approach. Specifically, we ask:
- Is minimizing symptoms and slowing down disease progression the best we can do?
- Why do we look for sustainability and root causes in various social and environmental domains, but when it comes to healthcare, we still just treat symptoms instead of discovering the origins of a problem?
- Why don’t we pay enough attention to drugs’ side effects?
- Are uncomfortable and painful symptoms actually a gift?
- What if a runny nose and high fever are an indication our body is healing itself and our immune system is working well?
- Can we really expect to heal if we make no changes to our diet and lifestyle?
- What is the impact of diet on emotional well-being and mental health?
Join us to learn how nutrition and lifestyle will level up your emotional well-being!
Citations:
https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/32447382/
https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/16040007/
Amanda Bunker
Website: https://lifecarehealthandwellness.com/
Dr. Karin
Website: http://loveandlifemedia.com/
Empowered Dating Playbook: smarturl.it/EmpoweredDatingBook
Instagram: @dr.karin
Single is the New Black:
Audiobook Audible: smarturl.it/SITNB-Audible
iTunes: smarturl.it/SITNB-iTunes
Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/love-and-life-media/support
If you’ve been on the dating scene for a while, you’re probably weary of online and app dating.
I hear the same thing when I interact with singles in my community. I get it. I wasn’t a fan myself. It was incredibly time intensive and I didn’t like the feelings that came up for me.
For this reason, I devoted an entire chapter of my book, Single is the New Black: Don’t Wear White ‘til it’s Right, to online and app dating i.e. it’s okay—and actually, healthy!—to take a break from it from time to time.
But if we hop offline, how will we ever meet people?
This is exactly why Melissa New started IYKYK Dating—for those who are sick of swiping, and specifically for Christians who want to meet others who share their faith and values.
Join us to learn how IYKYK Dating can come to YOUR town!
Sources:
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/contemporary-psychoanalysis-in-action/201707/sick-online-dating
Melissa New of IYKYK Dating
Website: https://iykykdatingmixers.com/
Instagram: @iykyk.dating
Dr. Karin
Website: http://loveandlifemedia.com/
Empowered Dating Playbook: smarturl.it/EmpoweredDatingBook
Instagram: @dr.karin
Single is the New Black:
Audiobook Audible: smarturl.it/SITNB-Audible
iTunes: smarturl.it/SITNB-iTunes
Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/love-and-life-media/support
As a scientist, physician, and attorney with over 50 years researching and publishing in top tier academic journals and presenting at conferences and conventions, Dr. Richard Fleming is uniquely positioned to critically examine the last 2 ½ years.
In our conversation Dr. Richard Fleming addresses the following:
- The misinformation from both “sides.”
- Is asymptomatic transmission a thing?
- Vaccine efficacy—it’s likely NOT what you think!
- What’s the origin story of the virus? Do we have receipts?
- How the mass campaign put pressure on the virus which drove the variants.
- The science behind why those who took the shot, are now MORE likely to get sick.
- Research proposals and grant funding—how the NIH actually distributes funding.
Dr. Fleming provides us with an enormous amount of insider information, but many, many questions remain unanswered. And, as citizens whose tax dollars pay for these government agencies, we have the right to know what actually happened with this pandemic.
Please join us by heading over to 10letters.org to write to your state’s attorney general. If enough of us demand accountability, maybe we’ll get it.
Dr. Richard Fleming
Website: https://www.flemingmethod.com/
10 Letters: http://https://10letters.org/
An Introduction to Dr. Fleming: https://rumble.com/v1itgpx-introduction-by-dr.-richard-m.-fleming.html
Dr. Karin
Website: http://loveandlifemedia.com/
Empowered Dating Playbook: smarturl.it/EmpoweredDatingBook
Instagram: @dr.karin
Single is the New Black:
Audiobook Audible: smarturl.it/SITNB-Audible
iTunes: smarturl.it/SITNB-iTunes
This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app
Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/love-and-life-media/support
As a scientist, physician, and attorney with over 50 years researching and publishing in top tier academic journals and presenting at conferences and conventions, Dr. Richard Fleming is uniquely positioned to critically examine the last 2 ½ years.
In our conversation Dr. Richard Fleming addresses the following:
- The misinformation from both “sides.”
- Is asymptomatic transmission a thing?
- Vaccine efficacy—it’s likely NOT what you think!
- What’s the origin story of the virus? Do we have receipts?
- How the mass campaign put pressure on the virus which drove the variants.
- The science behind why those who took the shot, are now MORE likely to get sick.
- Research proposals and grant funding—how the NIH actually distributes funding.
Dr. Fleming provides us with an enormous amount of insider information, but many, many questions remain unanswered. And, as citizens whose tax dollars pay for these government agencies, we have the right to know what actually happened with this pandemic.
Please join us by heading over to 10letters.org to write to your state’s attorney general. If enough of us demand accountability, maybe we’ll get it.
Dr. Richard Fleming
Website: https://www.flemingmethod.com/
10 Letters: http://https://10letters.org/
An Introduction to Dr. Fleming: https://rumble.com/v1itgpx-introduction-by-dr.-richard-m.-fleming.html
Dr. Karin
Website: http://loveandlifemedia.com/
Empowered Dating Playbook: smarturl.it/EmpoweredDatingBook
Instagram: @dr.karin
Single is the New Black:
Audiobook Audible: smarturl.it/SITNB-Audible
iTunes: smarturl.it/SITNB-iTunes
This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app
Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/love-and-life-media/support
I wanted to wrap up our celebration of National Unmarried & Single Americans week with a fan favorite and my favorite guest, of course, psychotherapist Elliott Anderson.
When I was considering what I wanted Elliott to share, I thought about all the couples he’s worked with over the years. He’s seen it all—from those who just needed some tools to get through a rough patch, to couples who could barely stand to be in the same room together, to those who’ve become violent and abusive.
I wondered,
- What would Elliott want to say to singles to help them avoid the pain he witnesses in his office every day?
- What do we need to know NOW as singles, to prepare ourselves for a solid lifelong partnership>
- What do we need to know NOW to prevent ourselves from marrying the wrong person?”
Elliott answers this question and shares 5 relationship aspects you need to know to step into a great marriage!
Elliott Anderson
Work with Elliott, Books, & More: https://linktr.ee/pastorelliottanderson
Dr. Karin
Website: http://loveandlifemedia.com/
Empowered Dating Playbook: smarturl.it/EmpoweredDatingBook
Instagram: @dr.karin
Single is the New Black:
Audiobook Audible: smarturl.it/SITNB-Audible
iTunes: smarturl.it/SITNB-iTunes
This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app
Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/love-and-life-media/support
I wanted to wrap up our celebration of National Unmarried & Single Americans week with a fan favorite and my favorite guest, of course, psychotherapist Elliott Anderson.
When I was considering what I wanted Elliott to share, I thought about all the couples he’s worked with over the years. He’s seen it all—from those who just needed some tools to get through a rough patch, to couples who could barely stand to be in the same room together, to those who’ve become violent and abusive.
I wondered,
- What would Elliott want to say to singles to help them avoid the pain he witnesses in his office every day?
- What do we need to know NOW as singles, to prepare ourselves for a solid lifelong partnership>
- What do we need to know NOW to prevent ourselves from marrying the wrong person?”
Elliott answers this question and shares 5 relationship aspects you need to know to step into a great marriage!
Elliott Anderson
Work with Elliott, Books, & More: https://linktr.ee/pastorelliottanderson
Dr. Karin
Website: http://loveandlifemedia.com/
Empowered Dating Playbook: smarturl.it/EmpoweredDatingBook
Instagram: @dr.karin
Single is the New Black:
Audiobook Audible: smarturl.it/SITNB-Audible
iTunes: smarturl.it/SITNB-iTunes
This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app
Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/love-and-life-media/support
Have you ever wondered if fear is keeping you from love? Are you afraid of getting hurt? Afraid of being smothered? Afraid of both?
Today’s episode is part 2 of my conversation with Katherine Baldwin, author of, How to Fall in Love: A 10 Step Journey to the Heart.
If you haven’t listened to part 1, please jump back to episode 205 to hear Katherine share how her anxious/avoidant attachment style caused her struggle as she tried to cultivate an intimate romantic partnership.
In part 2 we discuss:
- How to date with courage, clarity, and confidence.
- The hurt that happens in relationships—and also, the healing that happens in relationships.
- The influence of our childlessness on our approach too dating.
- How our family of origin issues show up in our present-day relationships.
- How to discern if what we’re feeling is our fear or our intuition.
We CAN move through fear and trust our intuition. Join us to hear Katherine’s inspiring journey to love!
Katherine Baldwin
Website: https://www.katherinebaldwin.com/
Dr. Karin
Website: http://loveandlifemedia.com/
Empowered Dating Playbook: smarturl.it/EmpoweredDatingBook
Instagram: @dr.karin
Single is the New Black:
Audiobook Audible: smarturl.it/SITNB-Audible
iTunes: smarturl.it/SITNB-iTunes
This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app
Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/love-and-life-media/support
Have you ever wondered if fear is keeping you from love? Are you afraid of getting hurt? Afraid of being smothered? Afraid of both?
Today’s episode is part 2 of my conversation with Katherine Baldwin, author of, How to Fall in Love: A 10 Step Journey to the Heart.
If you haven’t listened to part 1, please jump back to episode 205 to hear Katherine share how her anxious/avoidant attachment style caused her struggle as she tried to cultivate an intimate romantic partnership.
In part 2 we discuss:
- How to date with courage, clarity, and confidence.
- The hurt that happens in relationships—and also, the healing that happens in relationships.
- The influence of our childlessness on our approach too dating.
- How our family of origin issues show up in our present-day relationships.
- How to discern if what we’re feeling is our fear or our intuition.
We CAN move through fear and trust our intuition. Join us to hear Katherine’s inspiring journey to love!
Katherine Baldwin
Website: https://www.katherinebaldwin.com/
Dr. Karin
Website: http://loveandlifemedia.com/
Empowered Dating Playbook: smarturl.it/EmpoweredDatingBook
Instagram: @dr.karin
Single is the New Black:
Audiobook Audible: smarturl.it/SITNB-Audible
iTunes: smarturl.it/SITNB-iTunes
This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app
Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/love-and-life-media/support
What if being single isn’t about “waiting for The One” but rather, it’s about loving the life right in front of us? Can we be alone, but not lonely? How do we make peace with our single season?
In her book, Single Shouldn’t Suck, Esther Marie asserts we CAN live life to the fullest—even when we’re single and desiring partnership.
Esther joins us to celebrate National Unmarried & Single Americans Week! We discuss her book and the lessons she’s learned through her single years.
Join us for a discussion around:
- How to romanticize our single life!
- Ways to embrace the here and now—through the various periods of our lives, including the times we desire partnership, as well as the times when we’re happy on our own.
- Honoring our journey—who we are and who we’re becoming.
- Challenging ourselves to get uncomfortable, take risks, and grow!
Whether you’re in a single season or any other phase of life, you’ll find Esther’s story to be both encouraging and inspiring!
Esther Marie
Website: https://www.esthermarie.org/
Single Shouldn't Suck: https://www.esthermarie.org/shop/
Dr. Karin
Website: http://loveandlifemedia.com/
Empowered Dating Playbook: smarturl.it/EmpoweredDatingBook
Instagram: @dr.karin
Single is the New Black:
Audiobook Audible: smarturl.it/SITNB-Audible
iTunes: smarturl.it/SITNB-iTunes
This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app
Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/love-and-life-media/support
What if being single isn’t about “waiting for The One” but rather, it’s about loving the life right in front of us? Can we be alone, but not lonely? How do we make peace with our single season?
In her book, Single Shouldn’t Suck, Esther Marie asserts we CAN live life to the fullest—even when we’re single and desiring partnership.
Esther joins us to celebrate National Unmarried & Single Americans Week! We discuss her book and the lessons she’s learned through her single years.
Join us for a discussion around:
- How to romanticize our single life!
- Ways to embrace the here and now—through the various periods of our lives, including the times we desire partnership, as well as the times when we’re happy on our own.
- Honoring our journey—who we are and who we’re becoming.
- Challenging ourselves to get uncomfortable, take risks, and grow!
Whether you’re in a single season or any other phase of life, you’ll find Esther’s story to be both encouraging and inspiring!
Esther Marie
Website: https://www.esthermarie.org/
Single Shouldn't Suck: https://www.esthermarie.org/shop/
Dr. Karin
Website: http://loveandlifemedia.com/
Empowered Dating Playbook: smarturl.it/EmpoweredDatingBook
Instagram: @dr.karin
Single is the New Black:
Audiobook Audible: smarturl.it/SITNB-Audible
iTunes: smarturl.it/SITNB-iTunes
This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app
Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/love-and-life-media/support
We’ve often spoken to Attachment Styles on the podcast, but in today’s episode we’ll hear a firsthand account from British author and coach, Katherine Baldwin. Katherine married in midlife and as she’s reflected on her dating history, she recognizes her attachment style—a mix of avoidant and anxious—caused her to repeatedly sabotage relationships and walk away from them.
But most importantly, in this two part series, Katherine shares how she found healing AND found her person—despite wrestling with unhealthy attachment dynamics from childhood wounds.
Learn from Katherine’s vulnerable account of her many years on the dating scene. She was certainly impacted by her attachment style, but she ultimately moved through the anxiety and toward love!
Katherine Baldwin
Website: https://www.katherinebaldwin.com/
Dr. Karin
Website: http://loveandlifemedia.com/
Empowered Dating Playbook: smarturl.it/EmpoweredDatingBook
Instagram: @dr.karin
Single is the New Black:
Audiobook Audible: smarturl.it/SITNB-Audible
iTunes: smarturl.it/SITNB-iTunes
This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app
Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/love-and-life-media/support
We’ve often spoken to Attachment Styles on the podcast, but in today’s episode we’ll hear a firsthand account from British author and coach, Katherine Baldwin. Katherine married in midlife and as she’s reflected on her dating history, she recognizes her attachment style—a mix of avoidant and anxious—caused her to repeatedly sabotage relationships and walk away from them.
But most importantly, in this two part series, Katherine shares how she found healing AND found her person—despite wrestling with unhealthy attachment dynamics from childhood wounds.
Learn from Katherine’s vulnerable account of her many years on the dating scene. She was certainly impacted by her attachment style, but she ultimately moved through the anxiety and toward love!
Katherine Baldwin
Website: https://www.katherinebaldwin.com/
Dr. Karin
Website: http://loveandlifemedia.com/
Empowered Dating Playbook: smarturl.it/EmpoweredDatingBook
Instagram: @dr.karin
Single is the New Black:
Audiobook Audible: smarturl.it/SITNB-Audible
iTunes: smarturl.it/SITNB-iTunes
This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app
Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/love-and-life-media/support
It’s National Unmarried and Single Americans Week, and to kick things off, we’re bringing back Love & Life fan favorite, Dr. Duana Welch, to talk about the revised version of her classic book, Love Factually: 10 Proven Steps from I Wish to I Do.
From the very first time I read Love Factually, it became my go-to “how to date smarter, not harder” resource, because every recommendation Dr. Welch provides is grounded in psych research.
Other authors share their opinions. Dr. Welch shares the data!
In this episode, Dr. Welch gets personal and recounts how she recently followed her own advice and met her fiancé online in a matter of weeks! She lets us in on the key elements of her coaching practice and discusses how she’s helped hundreds of clients find their person.
Join us to learn how to date smarter with science! And, be sure to take advantage of Dr. Welch’s offer for a FREE 15 minute mini session to determine if you’d like to work with her.
Dr. Duana Welch
Website: http://lovefactually.co/
Dr. Karin
Website: http://loveandlifemedia.com/
Empowered Dating Playbook: smarturl.it/EmpoweredDatingBook
Instagram: @dr.karin
Single is the New Black:
Audiobook Audible: smarturl.it/SITNB-Audible
iTunes: smarturl.it/SITNB-iTunes
This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app
Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/love-and-life-media/support
It’s National Unmarried and Single Americans Week, and to kick things off, we’re bringing back Love & Life fan favorite, Dr. Duana Welch, to talk about the revised version of her classic book, Love Factually: 10 Proven Steps from I Wish to I Do.
From the very first time I read Love Factually, it became my go-to “how to date smarter, not harder” resource, because every recommendation Dr. Welch provides is grounded in psych research.
Other authors share their opinions. Dr. Welch shares the data!
In this episode, Dr. Welch gets personal and recounts how she recently followed her own advice and met her fiancé online in a matter of weeks! She lets us in on the key elements of her coaching practice and discusses how she’s helped hundreds of clients find their person.
Join us to learn how to date smarter with science! And, be sure to take advantage of Dr. Welch’s offer for a FREE 15 minute mini session to determine if you’d like to work with her.
Dr. Duana Welch
Website: http://lovefactually.co/
Dr. Karin
Website: http://loveandlifemedia.com/
Empowered Dating Playbook: smarturl.it/EmpoweredDatingBook
Instagram: @dr.karin
Single is the New Black:
Audiobook Audible: smarturl.it/SITNB-Audible
iTunes: smarturl.it/SITNB-iTunes
This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app
Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/love-and-life-media/support
Breakups are hardest when the relationship is almost right. I should know—I almost married the “wrong man” (for me) because there was absolutely nothing “wrong” with him.
He was almost right.
But, is “good enough” good enough for marriage?
For me, it wasn’t.
I told my runaway bride story with Ané Auret and because I’d never shared the whole story with you, I wanted to post it on Love & Life.
We’ve all faced crossroads where we had to trust our gut or take the “safe” path. I took the risk of being along forever. But when faced with “good enough” vs. living solo, my gut told me what to do. And, after years of ignoring my intuition, I finally listened.
I had to let go of safe, in order to find epic.
Ané Auret
Website: https://aneauret.com/
Beauty Products: https://beautybyane.com/
Dr. Karin
Website: http://loveandlifemedia.com/
Empowered Dating Playbook: smarturl.it/EmpoweredDatingBook
Instagram: @dr.karin
Single is the New Black:
Audiobook Audible: smarturl.it/SITNB-Audible
iTunes: smarturl.it/SITNB-iTunes
This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app
Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/love-and-life-media/support
Breakups are hardest when the relationship is almost right. I should know—I almost married the “wrong man” (for me) because there was absolutely nothing “wrong” with him.
He was almost right.
But, is “good enough” good enough for marriage?
For me, it wasn’t.
I told my runaway bride story with Ané Auret and because I’d never shared the whole story with you, I wanted to post it on Love & Life.
We’ve all faced crossroads where we had to trust our gut or take the “safe” path. I took the risk of being along forever. But when faced with “good enough” vs. living solo, my gut told me what to do. And, after years of ignoring my intuition, I finally listened.
I had to let go of safe, in order to find epic.
Ané Auret
Website: https://aneauret.com/
Beauty Products: https://beautybyane.com/
Dr. Karin
Website: http://loveandlifemedia.com/
Empowered Dating Playbook: smarturl.it/EmpoweredDatingBook
Instagram: @dr.karin
Single is the New Black:
Audiobook Audible: smarturl.it/SITNB-Audible
iTunes: smarturl.it/SITNB-iTunes
This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app
Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/love-and-life-media/support
As most of you know, I wrote my book because I found so many self-help books for singles to be utterly UNhelpful! That being said, over the years, I did come across—thankfully!—several supportive and empowering books.
In a few weeks we’ll be celebrating National Unmarried & Single Americans week so I thought we’d kick off September with a review of some of my fav books for living single. They got me through the tough times and to this day, I recommend them to anyone who asks for advice about dating, dealing with single shaming, or recovering from a breakup.
I hope these books will be as helpful to you as they were to me!
Dr. Karin
Website: http://loveandlifemedia.com/
Empowered Dating Playbook: smarturl.it/EmpoweredDatingBook
Instagram: @dr.karin
Single is the New Black:
Audiobook Audible: smarturl.it/SITNB-Audible
iTunes: smarturl.it/SITNB-iTunes
This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app
Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/love-and-life-media/support
As most of you know, I wrote my book because I found so many self-help books for singles to be utterly UNhelpful! That being said, over the years, I did come across—thankfully!—several supportive and empowering books.
In a few weeks we’ll be celebrating National Unmarried & Single Americans week so I thought we’d kick off September with a review of some of my fav books for living single. They got me through the tough times and to this day, I recommend them to anyone who asks for advice about dating, dealing with single shaming, or recovering from a breakup.
I hope these books will be as helpful to you as they were to me!
Dr. Karin
Website: http://loveandlifemedia.com/
Empowered Dating Playbook: smarturl.it/EmpoweredDatingBook
Instagram: @dr.karin
Single is the New Black:
Audiobook Audible: smarturl.it/SITNB-Audible
iTunes: smarturl.it/SITNB-iTunes
This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app
Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/love-and-life-media/support
For the last year, people have been asking me, “Have you watched Dopesick? Karin, you have to see it!” So, I subscribed to Hulu and started the series and also read the book on which the series is based.
The true story is incredibly disturbing and tragic and heartbreaking.
Author Beth Macy exposes how Purdue Pharma, the makers of Oxycontin, convinced doctors their patients had virtually no chance of becoming addicted to their new “wonder drug.”
But, it wasn’t true.
I knew some parts of this horrific story from reading Dreamland: The True Tale of America’s Opioid Epidemic and interviewing Dreamland’s author, Sam Quinones in episode 95 of the podcast. He connects the dots between prescription medications and heroin addiction.
In Dopesick, we witness this play out in graphic detail.
Most of you know, I’m no fan of Big Pharma. Of course, I’m thankful for medical advances which have saved millions of lives. But, as we’ve talked about in prior episodes, pharmaceutical corporations exist to make profits for their shareholders—or, in the case of Purdue Pharma, to increase a family’s fortune.
We must take this reality into account when we consider pharma’s marketing and messaging—regarding psychiatric medications, of course. And, as Dopesick demonstrates—even when a doctor writes us a prescription for pain pills.
If you doubt this, if you think maybe I’m a bit hyperbolic when it comes to all this pharma stuff, please listen to this episode!
Beth Macy
Website: https://intrepidpapergirl.com/
Dope Sick on HULU
Dr. Karin
Website: http://loveandlifemedia.com/
Empowered Dating Playbook: smarturl.it/EmpoweredDatingBook
Instagram: @dr.karin
Single is the New Black:
Audiobook Audible: smarturl.it/SITNB-Audible
iTunes: smarturl.it/SITNB-iTunes
This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app
Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/love-and-life-media/support
For the last year, people have been asking me, “Have you watched Dopesick? Karin, you have to see it!” So, I subscribed to Hulu and started the series and also read the book on which the series is based.
The true story is incredibly disturbing and tragic and heartbreaking.
Author Beth Macy exposes how Purdue Pharma, the makers of Oxycontin, convinced doctors their patients had virtually no chance of becoming addicted to their new “wonder drug.”
But, it wasn’t true.
I knew some parts of this horrific story from reading Dreamland: The True Tale of America’s Opioid Epidemic and interviewing Dreamland’s author, Sam Quinones in episode 95 of the podcast. He connects the dots between prescription medications and heroin addiction.
In Dopesick, we witness this play out in graphic detail.
Most of you know, I’m no fan of Big Pharma. Of course, I’m thankful for medical advances which have saved millions of lives. But, as we’ve talked about in prior episodes, pharmaceutical corporations exist to make profits for their shareholders—or, in the case of Purdue Pharma, to increase a family’s fortune.
We must take this reality into account when we consider pharma’s marketing and messaging—regarding psychiatric medications, of course. And, as Dopesick demonstrates—even when a doctor writes us a prescription for pain pills.
If you doubt this, if you think maybe I’m a bit hyperbolic when it comes to all this pharma stuff, please listen to this episode!
Beth Macy
Website: https://intrepidpapergirl.com/
Dope Sick on HULU
Dr. Karin
Website: http://loveandlifemedia.com/
Empowered Dating Playbook: smarturl.it/EmpoweredDatingBook
Instagram: @dr.karin
Single is the New Black:
Audiobook Audible: smarturl.it/SITNB-Audible
iTunes: smarturl.it/SITNB-iTunes
This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app
Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/love-and-life-media/support
It’s our 200th episode—time to reflect on where we’ve been and where we’re headed!
My first thought is how grateful I am for the opportunity to share with you and our community. Your comments, emails, and dms mean everything to me. They let me know you resonate with Love & Life’s mission: “Conversations grounded in psych research to help us thrive in love and life.”
On Love & Life, we’re all about the research–which is why we’re so dismayed by the degeneration of science we’ve recently witnessed.
In this episode, we discuss 3 cases of faulty science which have just come to light, starting with an umbrella study by Joanna Moncrieff and colleagues which finds no connection between depression and serotonin levels. Although many psychiatrists have doubted the “chemical imbalance” explanation of depression for years, pharmaceutical companies continue to promulgate this unsubstantiated theory because it has, obviously, greatly boosted sales of antidepressants.
We examine two other instances of manipulated science including a shocking revelation that the last 16 years of Alzheimer’s research has been based on falsified brain images. And, the third example surrounds the bizarre and utterly unscientific response to the COVID pandemic over the last 2 ½ years.
We look to science to help us explore and uncover truth. When findings are misrepresented, it shakes our confidence, but it also reminds us we need to be discerning and savvy when consuming information—even information coming from sources we once believed we could trust.
What does all this mean for Love & Life? Ultimately, it reinforces our commitment to pushing back against Big Pharma and its efforts to medicalize our every emotion!
I’m so grateful for your support over these last 200 episodes. Thank you SO MUCH for being a part of the Love & Life family!
https://www.bmj.com/content/378/bmj-2021-067606
https://www.commonsense.news/p/tgif-debunked-edition
Moncrieff, J., Cooper, R., Stocmann, T., Amendola, S., Hengartner, M., & Horowitz, M. (2022). The serotonin theory of depression: A systematic umbrella review of the evidence. Molecular Psychiatry.
Whitaker, R. (2015). Anatomy of an Epidemic.
Dr. Karin
Website: http://loveandlifemedia.com/
Empowered Dating Playbook: smarturl.it/EmpoweredDatingBook
Instagram: @dr.karin
Single is the New Black:
Audiobook Audible: smarturl.it/SITNB-Audible
iTunes: smarturl.it/SITNB-iTunes
This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app
Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/love-and-life-media/support
As many of you know, my book, Single is the New Black: Don’t Wear White ‘til it’s Right, resulted from my experiences as a single woman who read all the other books for single women and found them, in my estimation, to be lacking.
I resisted other books’ theses—that something must be inherently wrong with me and that’s why I was still single.
Also, so many self-help books for single women morph into dating “how to’s.” Which, I was never a really big fan of dating do’s and don’ts because I believe we need to date as our authentic selves. Sure, we can—and should—present the very BEST version of our authentic selves. We absolutely want to date with confidence, emotional maturity, kindness, and mutual respect—for those we date and for ourselves.
So, I wrote my own book about how to stay true to ourselves while dating, and how to manage the single shaming comments you likely hear from time to time. It’s a word of encouragement and empowerment and a reminder that you’re strong and courageous because–it’s easy to settle, but you’re not about that life!
One of the single shaming comments I often heard was, “Karin, don’t you think maybe you’re too picky?”
This comment drove me crazy. I know people meant well, but they clearly didn’t understand how insulting a comment like this is! Were they suggesting that everyone else gets to marry someone they’re crazy about, but since I’m over 35, now I need to just settle for someone mediocre?
It was infuriating!
So, I devoted a chapter in my book to the topic and it’s here for you in this week’s episode!
For more of Single is the New Black, you can listen to chapter 1 and chapter 11 in episodes 90 and 145 of Love & Life or, grab your copy on Audible or iTunes.
Dr. Karin
Website: http://loveandlifemedia.com/
Empowered Dating Playbook: smarturl.it/EmpoweredDatingBook
Instagram: @dr.karin
Single is the New Black:
Audiobook Audible: smarturl.it/SITNB-Audible
iTunes: smarturl.it/SITNB-iTunes
This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app
Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/love-and-life-media/support
A little while ago, I received an email:
“Hey there! My name is Jenny Mallard and I’m a Canadian singer-songwriter and also a huge fan of your podcast. I actually just released my debut single, partially inspired by the themes of some of your podcast episodes and your book.
Basically, I’ve always wanted a man to write me a love song. Then one day, I realized, I’m a singer songwriter. I’ll just write one for myself.
It’s called, “I Do: The Self Love Song.”
This is a shot in the dark, however, I’m just a huge fan and I’d be honored for you to take a listen. Thanks!”
As you can imagine, I was so touched to receive this email. So, I immediately replied telling Jenny how honored I was to know she felt inspired by my work.
I knew the Love & Life family would resonate with Jenny’s journey, so I invited Jenny to share the themes of her song with all of us.
Join us as Jenny discusses how clarifying her values brought her life into focus. She left a 3 year relationship, got serious about her music career, and wrote a love song to herself!
Jenny Mallard
Instagram: @jennymallard
Listen to "I Do" on Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/artist/3HNn46tj9Uzb1zeGLNtWY5?si=t_TJR3RAQmS2EeGcSg9uTQ
Dr. Karin
Website: http://loveandlifemedia.com/
Empowered Dating Playbook: smarturl.it/EmpoweredDatingBook
Instagram: @dr.karin
Single is the New Black:
Audiobook Audible: smarturl.it/SITNB-Audible
iTunes: smarturl.it/SITNB-iTunes
This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app
Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/love-and-life-media/support
In preparing for part 2 of our series called Empowered Evolving, I reflected on my own life—when have I evolved? How have I grown and changed—even when in doing so, I lost relationships and connection and security?
Of course, calling off my wedding came to mind…
When you break an engagement, you’ve evolved in a way that’s unexpected—unexpected to your fiancé, obviously, and also to your friends, your family, and even, yourself.
And it’s hard. Very, very hard.
Then again, we become stronger and empowered as we evolve in the direction we’re supposed to move—when we step toward authenticity, toward truth, toward hope, toward joy.
And, step away from FEAR.
As I thought about Empowered Evolving, my friend Kiley Schmitz kept coming to mind. Kiley also broke off an engagement. She’s in her 30s. Her life looks nothing like she once envisioned it.
And, she couldn’t be happier.
Join us to discuss empowered evolving as it pertains to dating, engagement, marriage, and relationships in general.
Dr. Karin
Website: http://loveandlifemedia.com/
Empowered Dating Playbook: smarturl.it/EmpoweredDatingBook
Instagram: @dr.karin
Single is the New Black:
Audiobook Audible: smarturl.it/SITNB-Audible
iTunes: smarturl.it/SITNB-iTunes
Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/love-and-life-media/support
“Might as well face it, you’re addicted to love.”—Robert Palmer
Are you addicted to relationships? Many of us—even strong, independent women—feel unsettled, lonely, and anxious when we don’t have a partner.
Life coach Nazra Peterson believes single shaming is to blame—and often, we’re single shaming ourselves!
In our conversation, we dive deep into the following topics:
- The 4 key relationships you have with YOURSELF!
- How to desire partnership without appearing desperate.
- How to determine if your beliefs about relationships are yours or if you’ve internalized them from others—and how to change them if they’re limiting.
- The power in being blissfully dissatisfied.
- Relationship addiction as evidenced by how we break up with someone—staying long past the expiration date.
- Loyalty vs. commitment.
- Freedom in intimacy i.e. When you’re in a relationship you CAN do whatever you want to do!
- When your friends might be leading you astray when it comes to love!
Join us to determine if you’re addicted to relationships and if so, how to “kick the habit!”
Nazra Peterson
Website: https://www.heartmindfitnesstraining.com/
Instagram: @heartmindfitnesstraining / @iamnazramarie
Dr. Karin
Website: http://loveandlifemedia.com/
Empowered Dating Playbook: smarturl.it/EmpoweredDatingBook
Instagram: @dr.karin
Single is the New Black:
Audiobook Audible: smarturl.it/SITNB-Audible
iTunes: smarturl.it/SITNB-iTunes
Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/love-and-life-media/support
In this week’s mini episode, I’d like to share a few thoughts about the Empowered Evolving series we kicked off last week. I knew my conversation with Isabella would generate some feedback and I’ve received both positive and negative responses to it.
How do we remain connected with those we love, even when—or especially when!—we disagree. We want to live empowered, we want to grow and evolve, and we want to maintain intimate relationships with those we love.
Is this even possible?
I share the strategy I’m currently using myself in efforts to do all of the above.
Dr. Karin
Website: http://loveandlifemedia.com/
Empowered Dating Playbook: smarturl.it/EmpoweredDatingBook
Instagram: @dr.karin
Single is the New Black:
Audiobook Audible: smarturl.it/SITNB-Audible
iTunes: smarturl.it/SITNB-iTunes
Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/love-and-life-media/support
Welcome to Love & Life’s occasional series—Empowered Evolving. We talk about empowered living all the time on Love & Life. We look to psych research and techniques from psychotherapy to help us, as former Love & Life guest, Dr. Steven C. Hayes founder of ACT puts it, “take committed action in the service of our chosen values.” We live empowered by living out our values—clarifying what they are and then taking committed action toward them.
Sometimes, as we clarify our values, we realize we’re moving away from where we’ve been. We’re stepping into uncharted territory. We’re leaving comfort and certainty behind.
But, if we’re committed to maintaining an open mind and considering various viewpoints, it’s not surprising that sometimes, we change our mind.
We’re evolving.
Empowered evolving entails honesty and commitment—a commitment to our principles. And, it takes courage; it takes a lot of courage to speak out when your community expects you to adhere to its belief system.
Isabell Malbin knows about evolving. Her evolution began when as a doula, Isabella witnessed abusive practices in hospital delivery rooms. She moved into hypnobirthing and rejected euphemisms such as “belly births.” Eventually, her mentor asked her if she wanted to be a reformist or a radical.
She chose the latter.
Today Isabella hosts the Whose Body is It? podcast on which she raises consciousness around how women are harmed by transgender ideology, porn, and prostitution. She coaches women to help us wake up and speak out.
Isabella Malbin
Website: https://www.whosebodyisit.com/social
Instagram: @whosebodyisit
Dr. Karin
Website: http://loveandlifemedia.com/
Empowered Dating Playbook: smarturl.it/EmpoweredDatingBook
Instagram: @dr.karin
Single is the New Black - Audiobook Audible: smarturl.it/SITNB-Audible iTunes: smarturl.it/SITNB-iTunes
Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/love-and-life-media/support
We all desire deep connection. We’re wired for intimacy. But searching for it is difficult and even when we find our person and we’re caught up in the excitement of falling in love, our journey to intimacy has really only just begun.
Throughout partnership and marriage, our connection ebbs and flows. Sometimes we feel extremely close; at other times, we feel estranged and distant from the person with whom we want to feel most intimately connected.
How do we restore deep, authentic intimacy?
Dr. Steve Call and his wife, Lisa Call, address this question in their book, Reconnect: Insights and Tools for Cultivating Meaningful Connection in Your Marriage. In today’s episode we discuss the following and more!
- Needing connection and the shame that often accompanies this need.
- Shame in relationships—judging ourselves and our partner.
- How discussing need, shame, and judgment minimizes their power and their negative impact on our connections.
- The healing power of relationships, connection, and community.
- Attachment styles and how they influence our intimacy.
- How to be gentle with ourselves and our stories.
- The lies of shame e.g. “If I told my partner this, I’d be rejected.
- The “story” we tell ourselves about our worth, needs, and what it means to be in partnership.
- Conceptualizing empathy as “feeling into” instead of “fixing.”
- The power of what Steve and Lisa call a “right brain to right brain” response—what this is and how it builds connection.
- How a fear that empathy isn’t enough actually blocks intimacy.
- The essentials of connection!
- The importance of rituals of connection—including play!
The Calls’ insight and wisdom provide crucial tools for relating—whether you hope to deepen intimacy with your partner or build connection to friends and family members.
Dr. Steve & Lisa Call
Website: https://www.thereconnectinstitute.com/
Dr. Karin
Website: http://loveandlifemedia.com/
Empowered Dating Playbook: smarturl.it/EmpoweredDatingBook
Instagram: @dr.karin
Single is the New Black Audiobook:
Audible: smarturl.it/SITNB-Audible
iTunes: smarturl.it/SITNB-iTunes
Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/love-and-life-media/support
One of the questions I’m most often asked surrounds masculine and feminine energy. How can independent, empowered women embody feminine energy? Isn’t this essentially a contradiction in terms? Are we able to inhabit the fullness of ourselves—including our ambition and drive—without presenting ourselves in a masculine manner and thereby attracting men who lead with feminine energy?
Teacher, writer, speaker, and the creator of Everyday Starlet, Sarah Blodgett, joins us to consider these questions and more. Specifically, we speak to:
- The difference between masculine/feminine energy and traditional gender roles.
- The difficulty in trusting our partner’s protective masculine energy—especially if we’ve been in a controlling, abusive relationship in the past.
- When to resonate in your juicy feminine flow—and when we may NOT want to be in our feminine flow!
- Birth control pills and feminine energy.
- Body image and feminine energy.
- How our distrust of men may actually reflect a distrust of ourselves.
- What men with high masculine energy want—spoiler alert: it’s NOT passive women!
Sarah’s Everyday Starlet blog and YouTube channel inspire women to embody their femininity and sensuality, and be the star of their own life! She shares methods for leaning into the fullness of our feminine energy! Pro tip: we can be fully empowered AND fully feminine!
Sarah Blodgett
Website: http://everydaystarlet.com/
Instagram: @sarahblodgett
Dr. Karin
Website: http://loveandlifemedia.com/
Empowered Dating Playbook: smarturl.it/EmpoweredDatingBook
Instagram: @dr.karin
Single is the New Black - Audiobook Audible: smarturl.it/SITNB-Audible iTunes: smarturl.it/SITNB-iTunes
Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/love-and-life-media/support
Christine Coen was a registered dietitian and fitness professional. She guided and encouraged clients toward their nutrition and exercise goals. She didn’t think too much about mental health—until she had to.
When Christine fell into depression, she panicked. It was her job to motivate others, but she was struggling to even get out of bed in the morning herself!
She started researching and soul searching.
Christine realized she’d been focused on the exterior. It was time to look inward.
She began pursuing eating and exercise with a new mission—it was no longer about the external. Now, it was about the internal.
Through her own battle, Christine discovered natural methods to overcome anxiety, depression, and emotional eating. She joins us today to share these strategies with us!
Citation:
https://www.apa.org/monitor/2017/11/numbers
https://www.health.harvard.edu/blog/astounding-increase-in-antidepressant-use-by-americans-201110203624
https://www.drugwatch.com/ssri/prozac/
Breggin, P., & Breggin, G., (2021). Covid-19 and the global predators: We are the prey. Lake Edge Press.
Christine Coen
Instagram: @christine.coen
Dr. Karin
Website: http://loveandlifemedia.com/
Empowered Dating Playbook: smarturl.it/EmpoweredDatingBook
Instagram: @dr.karin
Single is the New Black - Audiobook Audible: smarturl.it/SITNB-Audible iTunes: smarturl.it/SITNB-iTunes
Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/love-and-life-media/support
When I come across an empowered woman who’s all about empowering others, I want to share her journey with you—which is exactly why I invited Brooke Mullen of Sapahn to the program.
Recently, I randomly came across Sapahn when I noticed this gorgeous purse/backpack in the March issue of Harper’s Bazaar. The bag reminded me of one I’d admired several years ago in a boutique in Indianapolis. Apparently, I couldn’t get the bag out of my head even all these years later! 😉
So, I hopped on Sapahn’s website and found that not only are the purses, backpacks, cross-body bags, and wallets absolutely stunning, I also learned that Sapahn provides employment for women in Thailand.
According to Sapahn’s website:
“Our luxury leather bags and accessories not only look good— they’re helping make the world a more beautiful place by honoring the basic human rights of workers throughout our value chain. We’ve fully embraced a regenerative business model that prioritizes personal empowerment over charity—and human rights is at the heart of all we do.”
And since I’m all about this “buy a beautiful bag and uphold human rights life,” I wanted to share Sapahn with you and hear from its founder, Brooke Mullen!
Join us to learn how we can demonstrate our values and “carry forward” human rights through intentional, ethical consumerism!
Brooke Mullen of Sapahn
Website: https://sapahn.com/
15% Off Promo Code: LOVEANDLIFE
Dr. Karin
Website: http://loveandlifemedia.com/
Empowered Dating Playbook: smarturl.it/EmpoweredDatingBook
Instagram: @dr.karin
Single is the New Black - Audiobook Audible: smarturl.it/SITNB-Audible iTunes: smarturl.it/SITNB-iTunes
Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/love-and-life-media/support
Psychologist Dr. Duana Welch recently joined me for an Instagram Live to talk about the revised version of her must-read dating guide, Love Factually: 10 Proven Steps from I Wish to I Do.
She tackled viewers questions and concerns, including:
- Why behaving as a high status woman is the opposite of playing games or acting coy.
- The science-based approach to actually getting courted—even if no man has ever treated you in that way before.
- How to weed out the men who aren’t looking for a serious relationship.
- How to communicate your standards in a very practical and respectful manner.
- How to write a profile which will attract a serious minded man.
- Why communicating your standards will protect you from narcissists and players when you’re online dating.
- How to open up to dating again after multiple heartbreaks.
- The 3 feelings you’ll feel if you’re in a healthy relationship!
- How to be vulnerable in an appropriate manner.
- How Dr. Welch met her partner online in a matter of months—and even found a tall man, when she was looking for a shorter man!
Dr. Welch shared such important wisdom and research-based dating advice, I wanted to post our Insta live as Love & Life episode!
Dr. Duana Welch
Website: http://www.lovesciencemedia.com/
Dr. Karin
Website: http://loveandlifemedia.com/
Empowered Dating Playbook: smarturl.it/EmpoweredDatingBook
Instagram: @dr.karin
Single is the New Black - Audiobook Audible: smarturl.it/SITNB-Audible iTunes: smarturl.it/SITNB-iTunes
Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/love-and-life-media/support
Recently, I appeared on aParently Speaking podcast with Miriam conner. Miriam asked me to speak about fear—specifically, how parents may inadvertently pass on anxiety to their children.
We discussed humans’ typical responses to fear—building upon the Fight or Flight model we all learned in school, and we explored the profound power of how we frame fear i.e. do we consider it part of our identity? Do we say things to ourselves like, “My anxiety makes me do such and such” or “I have anxiety”? Or rather, do we see fear as a part of life, but not a part of our core sense of self.
We can empower ourselves by considering the ways we manage our feelings and ask ourselves questions like:
- Did I learn this emotional response from my mother?
- Did I get “my anxiety” from my father?
- As an adult can I shed any generational patterns of managing fear that aren't serving me?
We may have inherited anxiety from our families, but we don’t need to own it in adulthood!
Dr. Karin
Website: http://loveandlifemedia.com/
Empowered Dating Playbook: smarturl.it/EmpoweredDatingBook
Instagram: @dr.karin
Single is the New Black - Audiobook Audible: smarturl.it/SITNB-Audible iTunes: smarturl.it/SITNB-iTunes
Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/love-and-life-media/support
You’re probably familiar with mindfulness, but how does it apply to dating? Marie Thouin, Ph.D. shares how a mindfulness practice can enhance our lives in myriad realms—and certainly when it comes to dating!
Join us for a conversation surrounding:
- The science of mindfulness—there’s a TON of research on it!
- The self-knowledge mindfulness affords—even in the midst of heartbreak and loss.
- Why mindful dating brings out the best in you and your date!
- How mindfulness helps us move through rejection—including 3 tangible steps to become more resilient!
- The importance of being curious and compassionate with ourselves.
- Mindful swiping—it’s a thing!
- How to value our lives when our deep desires aren’t currently met.
- How mindfulness liberates us!
If you’ve ever wondered what this mindfulness stuff is all about and how it might enhance your love life, this episode is for you!
Citation: https://greatergood.berkeley.edu/topic/mindfulness/definition#why-practice-mindfulness
Dr. Marie Thouin
Website: https://www.loveinsight-dating.com/
Dr. Karin
Website: http://loveandlifemedia.com/
Empowered Dating Playbook: smarturl.it/EmpoweredDatingBook
Instagram: @dr.karin
Single is the New Black - Audiobook Audible: smarturl.it/SITNB-Audible iTunes: smarturl.it/SITNB-iTunes
Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/love-and-life-media/support
We all desire deep, genuine intimacy. But so often, it feels incredibly difficult to cultivate! Sometimes we’re so infatuated we rush things. Other times, we fear getting close because we’ve been hurt so many times before.
In our first Love & Life Live, psychotherapist Elliott Anderson joins me to speak to Judson University students about how to develop and cultivate deep, authentic, lasting romantic intimacy.
Specifically, we discuss:
- What’s the definition of intimacy?
- How can we distinguish between intimacy and infatuation?
- Is there a concrete process for building intimacy?
- What do psychologists say about finding the “total package”? Is it possible?
- How clarifying your values—before you’re in a relationship—will help you build intimacy with your future partner.
- Can texting build true intimacy?
- What if I don’t have much relationship experience?
- Why spending time apart in the initial months of a relationship can actually enhance intimacy.
- Cultivating true intimacy—even if you have an anxious attachment and he has an avoidant one.
Elliott provides concretes steps creating a loving, fulfilling, deeply intimate partnership!
Rev. Elliott Anderson, M.A.
Work with Elliott: https://loveandlifemedia.com/work-with-elliott-anderson
Instagram: @pastorelliottanderson
Dr. Karin
Website: http://loveandlifemedia.com/
Empowered Dating Playbook: smarturl.it/EmpoweredDatingBook
Instagram: @dr.karin
Single is the New Black - Audiobook
Audible: smarturl.it/SITNB-Audible
iTunes: smarturl.it/SITNB-iTunes
Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/love-and-life-media/support
Divorce is brutal. The wound it leaves is deep and lasting. Can we find restoration and redemption after the death of a marriage? Can we resuscitate a demolished heart?
Leisse Wilcox and Elliott Anderson discuss the profound grief inherent to divorce. They hold space for the hurting. They honor the loss and pain.
And simultaneously, they invite you on a healing journey.
Specifically, they discuss:
- The primal wound vs. the divorce wound.
- Pain, shame, and blame surrounding divorce—and the gender differences Elliott has noticed in his work with couples.
- Leisse observes divorce can trigger the primal wound, causing us to swim in a “soup” of shame and pain.
- How divorce exacerbates the chronic “not enoughness” women feel.
- The parallels between divorce and death.
- The “zombie state” of divorce—the marriage is dead, but your ex is not.
- Elliott discusses how divorce leaves a spiritual wound and splits your psyche.
- Leisse compares divorce to cancer; she has endured both.
- We share strategies for dating a divorced man with children.
Healing is a journey, not a destination. No one would pick the path of divorce. But restoration is possible; redemption is available. And, this road, though horribly painful, can help bring us home to ourselves.
Leisse Wilcox
Website:https://leissewilcox.com/
Rev. Elliott Anderson, M.A.
Work with Elliott: https://loveandlifemedia.com/work-with-elliott-anderson
Instagram: @pastorelliottanderson
Dr. Karin
Website: http://loveandlifemedia.com/
Empowered Dating Playbook: smarturl.it/EmpoweredDatingBook
Instagram: @dr.karin
Single is the New Black - Audiobook
Audible: smarturl.it/SITNB-Audible
iTunes: smarturl.it/SITNB-iTunes
Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/love-and-life-media/support
In the US alone, more than 300,000 couples over the age of 50 divorce every year and this trend is growing. If you include the adult children involved, between 900,000 and 1.2 million people are impacted by the dissolution of these marriages. In fact, the term “gray divorce” has entered the lexicon to describe couples who part ways later in life.
Despite the number of people affected by gray divorce, few resources exist to provide support as adult children manage this unexpected and painful family division.
Psychotherapists Carol Hughes and Bruce Fredenburg join me to discuss their book, Home Will Never Be the Same Again: A Guide for Adult Children of Gray Divorce.
So often, adult children of divorce feel invisible. Because they’re adults, others assume they’ll move through the divorce with ease. Their parents may even expect them to feel happy for them as they embark upon their new life. But adult children grieve the loss of their family and in addition to this pain, they’re faced with the challenges of visiting multiple homes for the holidays and navigating competing expectations for loyalty.
Join us for an empathic conversation around the realities of gray divorce and its deep impact on all involved.
Reference:
https://academic.oup.com/psychsocgerontology/article/67/6/731/614154?login=false
Carol & Bruce
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/contributors/carol-r-hughes-phd-lmft-and-bruce-r-fredenburg-ms-lmft
Book: https://www.amazon.com/Home-Will-Never-Same-Again/dp/1538135302
Dr. Karin
Website: http://loveandlifemedia.com/
Empowered Dating Playbook: smarturl.it/EmpoweredDatingBook
Instagram: @dr.karin
Single is the New Black - Audiobook
Audible: smarturl.it/SITNB-Audible
iTunes: smarturl.it/SITNB-iTunes
Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/love-and-life-media/support
Our families have a profound impact on us—not just in childhood, but throughout our lifetime! But, family dynamics can be tricky to sort out due to the intensity of emotions and because we lack the objectivity necessary to see ourselves and our connections clearly; it’s hard to observe a system when you’re part of the system.
Furthermore, sometimes our families can unintentionally sabotage our efforts to find our person!
Psychotherapist Elliott Anderson joins me for a deep dive into how connections to family members may impede our search for romantic partnership—unbeknownst to all involved!
Specifically, Elliott and I discuss:
- The construct of individuation and its profound impact on not only your family life, but your love life!
- Why Elliott’s first question to the couples he counsels isn’t about them—rather, it’s always about their families.
- How we can be both close to and separate from our families!
- Your man’s lack of confidence as it relates to his individuation.
- How an adult daughter’s loyalty to her parents may keep her emotionally unavailable to romantic partners.
- How your parents’ “empty nest” marriage impacts your love life in ways you may not fully realize.
- Anxious attachment as it relates to enmeshed family systems.
- Why your brothers and sisters always hate your significant others. Spoiler alert: you need to individuate from your siblings, too!
Individuation is an imperative process—one we work on throughout our lives. Though there may be struggles along the way, the differentiation process helps everyone in the family!
Rev. Elliott Anderson, M.A.
Work with Elliott: https://loveandlifemedia.com/work-with-elliott-anderson
Instagram: @pastorelliottanderson
Dr. Karin
Website: http://loveandlifemedia.com/
Empowered Dating Playbook: smarturl.it/EmpoweredDatingBook
Instagram: @dr.karin
Single is the New Black - Audiobook
Audible: smarturl.it/SITNB-Audible
iTunes: smarturl.it/SITNB-iTunes
Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/love-and-life-media/support
In this final segment of our “Relationship Strain of COVID” series, psychotherapist Kate Lambie joins me again for a discussion on values and how they impact our individual responses to the various elements of the pandemic. Spoiler alert—it all goes back to safety and security! We also consider the reality that at times, we may share the same values yet choose to act upon them in different ways.
We ask these questions and more!
- Are bodily autonomy and medical freedom selfish during a pandemic?
- Are mandates a violation of civil liberties? Or, do they make sense in an emergency?
- If friends seem unwilling to find common ground, might they be reacting in this manner because they feel unsafe?
- How does clarifying our values develop empathy and compassion for one another?
Kate and I see the pandemic from opposing vantage points. We share our personal struggle to maintain intimacy and connection during these intense past two years. Join us to hear the inside scoop—including the arguments!—of how we’ve tried to remain close despite our discrepant positions. We hope our journey will help you navigate these most challenging times. Disagreements need not pull relationships apart. In fact, healthy conflict management can increase intimacy and authentic connection.
Source:
https://covid19.nih.gov/news-and-stories/covid-19-vaccines-and-menstrual-cycle
Kate Lambie
Psychology Today: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapists/wild-hope-counseling-chicago-il/439158
Instagram: @kate_lambie_lcpc
Dr. Karin
Website: http://loveandlifemedia.com/
Empowered Dating Playbook: smarturl.it/EmpoweredDatingBook
Instagram: @dr.karin
Single is the New Black - Audiobook
Audible: smarturl.it/SITNB-Audible
iTunes: smarturl.it/SITNB-iTunes
Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/love-and-life-media/support
In part two of our series on the relational strain of the pandemic, psychotherapist Kate Lambie joins me to share a trauma informed understanding of fear. No matter what stance we’ve taken regarding the pandemic, we’ve all felt scared at one point or another. Some of us fear the virus; others worry more about the government’s policies surrounding mandates. Either way, our sense of security has been shaken and it’s probably not hyperbolic to suggest we’ve all been somewhat traumatized.
In this conversation, Kate and I discuss the ways humans manage fear and how our differing responses may have impacted our connections to those we love most.
In particular, we discuss:
- Common reactions to fear—fight, flight, freeze, fawn, and flock—and how these responses have polarized us over the last two years.
- Stress and empathy. Spoiler alert: they can’t coexist—which is why we can be unkind when we’re freaked out!
- Self-regulation and how it helps us move through fear and maintain intimacy with those we love.
- How trauma and fear hijack our ability to reason.
- What’s actually at the root of all our pandemic relationship dissension.
Kate and I see the pandemic from opposing vantage points. We share our personal struggle to maintain intimacy and connection during these intense past two years. Join us to hear the inside scoop—including the arguments!—of how we’ve tried to remain close despite our discrepant positions. We hope our journey will help you navigate these most challenging times. Disagreements need not pull relationships apart. In fact, healthy conflict management can increase intimacy and authentic connection.
Citations:
-
Perry, B. D., & Szalavitz, M. (2007). The boy who was raised as a dog. Basic Books.
-
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/addiction-and-recovery/202008/understanding-fight-flight-freeze-and-the-fawn-response?amp
-
https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/abs/10.1080/14330237.2012.10874518
Kate Lambie
Psychology Today: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapists/wild-hope-counseling-chicago-il/439158
Instagram: @kate_lambie_lcpc
Dr. Karin
Website: http://loveandlifemedia.com/
Empowered Dating Playbook: smarturl.it/EmpoweredDatingBook
Instagram: @dr.karin
Single is the New Black - Audiobook
Audible: smarturl.it/SITNB-Audible
iTunes: smarturl.it/SITNB-iTunes
Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/love-and-life-media/support
The last two years have taken a toll on every area of our lives. One of the most painful elements of the pandemic has been the division it’s caused. Relationships have been strained and, in some cases, torn apart.
How did we get here? How is it that friends and family members see the last two years from such different vantage points?
In this episode, I talk about the beliefs we held before 2020 and how the confirmation bias has impacted our understanding of the pandemic.
This episode is part one of a three-part series in which I share constructs from psychology to help us better understand our varying responses to the last two years and also, how to bridge the division we’re experiencing.
Dr. Karin
Website: http://loveandlifemedia.com/
Empowered Dating Playbook: smarturl.it/EmpoweredDatingBook
Instagram: @dr.karin
Single is the New Black - Audiobook
Audible: smarturl.it/SITNB-Audible
iTunes: smarturl.it/SITNB-iTunes
Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/love-and-life-media/support
Elliott is back to answer your questions in Part 2 of our conversation about Avoidant Attachment style. We start with a question from a listener who wrote in after hearing episode 165 about Anxious Attachment in which Elliott mentioned that “oneness” takes years to develop. Her question was:
- What’s the difference between intimacy and oneness?
We then get back to Avoidant Attachment and address the following questions from listeners:
-
I’ve recently left an abusive relationship and started dating an old friend. He was initially very attentive but then he started to pull away which caused me to begin to chase him. We’ve been on again/off again and I think I may have Anxious Attachment, while he’s likely Avoidant. Is it possible for us to make this work?
-
I’ve been on 7 dates with a guy and he’s talking to me about being exclusive but he’s still updating his Bumble profile. I confronted him about it and he said his friend updated it for him. Also, he tells me he hates confrontation. Does he have Avoidant Attachment style? Can I trust him?
-
After I’m intimate with someone, I want to push him away. Do I have an Avoidant Attachment style?
-
How do I give a relationship a chance? After 3 months, I find myself wanting to bolt! I must have an Avoidant Attachment style.
Elliott and I field your questions and, because we’re siblings, we definitely don’t agree on every answer! Join us for a fun Q&A session about Avoidant Attachment styles!
Rev. Elliott Anderson, M.A.
Work with Elliott: https://loveandlifemedia.com/work-with-elliott-anderson
Instagram: @pastorelliottanderson
Dr. Karin
Website: http://loveandlifemedia.com/
Empowered Dating Playbook: smarturl.it/EmpoweredDatingBook
Instagram: @dr.karin
Single is the New Black - Audiobook
Audible: smarturl.it/SITNB-Audible
iTunes: smarturl.it/SITNB-iTunes
Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/love-and-life-media/support
Psychotherapist Elliott Anderson is back to continue our series on Attachment Styles. This week we unpack Avoidant Attachment and consider the question, “Is it actually possible to have a relationship with someone with an avoidant attachment style?”
Specifically, we address:
- Why avoidant men may initially appear very excited about the relationship and interested in commitment, but then later, they pull away.
- The internal struggle of Avoidant Attachment.
- The Pursuer-Distancer cycle—if you’ve dated someone with an Avoidant Attachment style, you’ve likely experienced this, especially if you have an Anxious Attachment style.
- When he marries you, but is still avoidant!
- Why it’s imperative to maintain your self-respect—and how to do so!
- Ways to bring up concerns about emotional intimacy with an avoidant partner.
- How to figure out if his Avoidant Attachment is something you can work with or if he’s completely emotionally unavailable.
- How to determine if you’re experiencing Avoidant Attachment yourself or, if you’re simply with the wrong person.
- Cultivating intimacy with someone with Avoidant Attachment—it is possible!
If you’ve dated someone with an Avoidant Attachment style, you know how confusing it can be. Join us to gain clarity around attachment and acquire specific strategies to help build a healthy connection!
Rev. Elliott Anderson, M.A.
Work with Elliott: https://loveandlifemedia.com/work-with-elliott-anderson
Instagram: @pastorelliottanderson
Dr. Karin
Website: http://loveandlifemedia.com/
Empowered Dating Playbook: smarturl.it/EmpoweredDatingBook
Instagram: @dr.karin
Single is the New Black - Audiobook
Audible: smarturl.it/SITNB-Audible
iTunes: smarturl.it/SITNB-iTunes
Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/love-and-life-media/support
As Love & Life listeners know, psychologist Dr. Duana Welch, author of the Love Factually book series, encourages us to date as “high status” women. In this episode, as always, she provides the science behind HOW to date high status and WHY it’s imperative we do so—especially when it comes to major decisions like whether to live together before getting married.
Specifically, Dr. Welch addresses the following:
- If I present myself as high status, won’t he think I’m being manipulative and playing hard to get?
- How do I get him to view me as high status—what specific behaviors will show him this?
- What if I don’t feel high status?
- I have an anxious attachment style, how can I ever date high status?
- Everyone seems to think living together before marriage is a great idea. Do high status women cohabitate before getting married?
Dr. Welch provides concrete, science-based answers to these questions and much more! Join us to acquire a high status, empowered approach to dating!
Dr. Duana Welch
Website: http://www.lovesciencemedia.com/
Dr. Karin
Website: http://loveandlifemedia.com/
Empowered Dating Playbook: smarturl.it/EmpoweredDatingBook
Instagram: @dr.karin
Single is the New Black - Audiobook
Audible: smarturl.it/SITNB-Audible
iTunes: smarturl.it/SITNB-iTunes
Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/love-and-life-media/support
Money is such a touchy topic. We’re told never to talk about it in polite company. And for many of us, it’s a subject we don’t ever bring up—even to ourselves! But ultimately, finances are all about values—just like the rest of life!
When I was single, I valued living to the fullest and I also valued being fiscally responsible. At times, these values were in conflict.
Emily Burnett knows all about this dilemma. She grew up in a home where fiscal responsibility was valued. Yet as a single woman in her thirties, she was $50,000 in debt. Ouch. But one day Emily had had enough. As she put it, “I make too much money to feel this broke!”
Emily is here to help us get in the driver’s seat with our money! Join us for a conversation about:
- Dating when you’re in debt.
- Enjoying nice things when you can’t really afford them.
- Living paycheck to paycheck.
- Why you don’t need to feel bad about not having a budget.
- And also, why constructing a budget is empowering, liberating, and exciting!
- How planning for special purchases allows us to enjoy things twice!
- How to lose the guilt that often accompanies splurges!
- Why creating a budget enables you to get in touch with your values, see yourself more clearly, and become more authentic.
- How to get out of debt—even $50,000 worth of debt!
Emily says, “A woman who is ‘on purpose’ can do so much good in the world!” Listen to our conversation to get “on purpose” regarding your finances, and watch this intentionality generalize to other realms of love and life!
Emily Burnett
Website: https://www.mosomoney.com/
Dr. Karin
Website: http://loveandlifemedia.com/
Empowered Dating Playbook: smarturl.it/EmpoweredDatingBook
Instagram: @dr.karin
Single is the New Black - Audiobook
Audible: smarturl.it/SITNB-Audible
iTunes: smarturl.it/SITNB-iTunes
Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/love-and-life-media/support
We often think it takes big behavioral changes to impact our mental health, but according to psych research simple daily habits and choices make a huge difference on our emotional well-being.
In this “best of the podcast” episode, we discuss two simple practices anyone can implement at any time to enjoy a boost in mood.
Specifically, we discuss:
- The connection between social media usage and depression and anxiety.
- The fact that social media interactions don’t provide us with the same support IRL interactions do.
- The variable at work in “Facebook Depression.”
- A concrete plan for creating a gratitude practice and why it makes all the difference!
It’s completely normal to feel a wide array of emotions—that’s part of being a human. But, help is here! Join us to learn simple, practical research-based strategies we can all utilize to level up our mental health and wellness.
Reference:
Steers, M. N., Wickham, R. E., & Acitelli, L. K. (2014). Seeing everyone else's highlight reels: How Facebook usage is linked to depressive symptoms. Journal of Social and Clinical Psychology, 33 (8). https://guilfordjournals.com/doi/10.1521/jscp.2014.33.8.701
Dr. Karin
Website: http://loveandlifemedia.com/
Empowered Dating Playbook: smarturl.it/EmpoweredDatingBook
Instagram: @dr.karin
Single is the New Black - Audiobook
Audible: smarturl.it/SITNB-Audible
iTunes: smarturl.it/SITNB-iTunes
Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/love-and-life-media/support
“Part of what it means to be human is to suffer, but there’s a way to move through it that brings joy and goodness to both you and the world around you.” Dan Allender and Cathy Loerzel.
We all endure trauma—either Big T or Little T. We all seek healing. Yet all too often, the defense mechanisms we constructed to survive trauma, now keep us constrained.
Join us to consider:
- Who we are meant to become in the midst of our heartaches.
- That we’ve all been orphaned, estranged, and widowed due to trauma and loss.
- How we can bring goodness and joy to others as we move through pain.
According to Dan, “Every one of us suffers, yet our suffering is never meant to be only ours—we’re meant to not only join our own transformation, but also in the privilege of being able to join in others’ transformations.”
If you’re hurting, you’ll feel a balm of empathy in Dan and Cathy’s words. Please join us for a tender, loving, healing conversation.
Allender Center
Website: https://theallendercenter.org/
Instagram: @allendercenter
Dr. Karin
Website: http://loveandlifemedia.com/
Empowered Dating Playbook: smarturl.it/EmpoweredDatingBook
Instagram: @dr.karin
Single is the New Black - Audiobook
Audible: smarturl.it/SITNB-Audible
iTunes: smarturl.it/SITNB-iTunes
Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/love-and-life-media/support
Naturopath Dr. Diana Lipford joins me again—this time to talk about the one topic we’re absolutely NOT supposed to discuss! Join us as we delve into the following questions and concerns surrounding the most pressing and controversial issue of our generation.
- How did Americans lose bodily autonomy? Where there is risk, there must be choice!
- What happened to second opinions? How did we get to the point where doctors’ legitimate questions were silenced by social media? Who are these “fact checkers” and why do they get to control the discourse?
- The lack of logic regarding mRNA experimental gene therapy mandates for children.
- Why an mRNA experimental gene therapy does not inoculate in the same manner as traditional vaccines.
- What the jab actually does in your body.
- The tyranny of forced compliance of a “vaccine” that doesn’t stop transmission or confer immunity.
- Why the phrase “trust the science” is a contradiction in terms—and every legit scientist knows it.
- How censorship has destroyed the possibility for informed consent regarding an experimental treatment—which violates medical freedom.
- The billions and billions of dollars Pharma has made via this warp speed rollout and mandates.
- Who politicized all this?
- How mass “vaccinations” drive mutation when implemented during high viral activity.
- Antibody dependent enhancement and pathogenic priming.
- The reason you’re at a greater risk of having an adverse reaction if you get the jab after you’ve already had the virus.
No matter your stance on these concerns, I hope you’ll find our conversation thought-provoking and empowering.
Dr. Karin
Website: http://loveandlifemedia.com/
Empowered Dating Playbook: smarturl.it/EmpoweredDatingBook
Instagram: @dr.karin
Single is the New Black - Audiobook
Audible: smarturl.it/SITNB-Audible
iTunes: smarturl.it/SITNB-iTunes
Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/love-and-life-media/support
If you’ve been single for any portion of your adult life—and especially if this solo season has lasted longer than you hoped it would—you’ve felt the ache of loneliness. You’ve watched happy couples and wondered when you’ll meet your partner. You’ve likely slipped into fear—what if you never meet your person? What if you never “belong” to anyone?
Leisse Wilcox gets it. She’s felt these feelings—deeply. And, at 40, she continues to wrestle with a post-divorce, post-cancer diagnosis life that looks nothing like she expected it would. As a writer, Leisse has unpacked this struggle in her new book, Alone: The Truth + Beauty of Belonging.
Our conversation today can be summarized by my review of Leisse’s book. “Part memoir, part self-help guide, part love letter to anyone aching with loneliness, Alone: The Truth + Beauty of Belonging assures us that though we may not choose to be alone, we absolutely choose the meaning we ascribe to our solitude. Through potent reframes e.g., What if self-care became soul care? and It’s the feeling you want, not the thing you want, Leisse emboldens us to embrace the truth that ‘when you belong to yourself, you are never really alone.’”
Spielmann, S., MacDonald, G., Maxwell, J., Joel, S., Peragine, D., Muise, A., & Impett, E. (2013). Settling for less out of fear of being single. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 105, 1049-1073.
Leisse Wilcox
Website:https://leissewilcox.com/
Dr. Karin
Website: http://loveandlifemedia.com/
Empowered Dating Playbook: smarturl.it/EmpoweredDatingBook
Instagram: @dr.karin
Single is the New Black - Audiobook
Audible: smarturl.it/SITNB-Audible
iTunes: smarturl.it/SITNB-iTunes
Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/love-and-life-media/support
Jess Ekstrom started a headband company in her college dorm room—but even as a young entrepreneur, her goal wasn’t to make money, but to give back. For each headband purchased, Jess donates a headband to a child experiencing cancer or another illness. As Headbands of Hope grew, Jess looked for silver linings despite the challenges and struggles inherent to building a business. As she began sharing her journey, she found joy in writing and speaking about “chasing the bright side.” She wrote a book with this title and now helps other women “tell and sell” their stories so they can “make a living and a difference at the same time.”
Jess Ekstrom - Headbands for Hope
Website: https://www.headbandsofhope.com/
Dr. Karin
Website: http://loveandlifemedia.com/
Empowered Dating Playbook: smarturl.it/EmpoweredDatingBook
Instagram: @dr.karin
Single is the New Black - Audiobook
Audible: smarturl.it/SITNB-Audible
iTunes: smarturl.it/SITNB-iTunes
Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/love-and-life-media/support
Narcissists are charming. They’re slick. They come on strong and sweep you off your feet. Oftentimes they keep up this charade for months—even years!—before you realize the truth about who they actually are.
I hear from so many of you that you’ve found yourself in this scenario—stuck in an emotionally, psychologically, and sometimes physically abusive relationship.
How did it happen? And more importantly, how do you leave? Won’t he escalate the abuse? And, how do you coparent with a narc if there are children involved?
High Conflict Divorce Coach, Tina Swithin, joins me to share her journey of dating, marrying, and finally divorcing a narcissist. She discusses the red flags she unfortunately ignored when dating, how she ultimately recognized her husband was a narc, and what she did to extricate herself from the marriage while protecting her daughters.
Tina not only survived marriage to a narcissist, she’s absolutely thriving! She’s taken the wisdom she gained through this horribly painful season of her life and now provides consultation and care for others via her “High Conflict Divorce” coaching. The need for her services was so vast, she now trains others to become high conflict divorce coaches!
Tina Swithin
Website: https://www.onemomsbattle.com/
Dr. Karin
Website: http://loveandlifemedia.com/
Empowered Dating Playbook: smarturl.it/EmpoweredDatingBook
Instagram: @dr.karin
Single is the New Black - Audiobook
Audible: smarturl.it/SITNB-Audible
iTunes: smarturl.it/SITNB-iTunes
Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/love-and-life-media/support
Dr. Duana Welch, author of the Love Factually book series, is back on the programto explain how we can successfully navigate online and app dating. And the best part—as always, Dr. Welch’s recommendations are based in science! She brings not only the psych research to our conversation, but also her personal experience, as well. In fact, she recently found love herself on a dating app using these research-based strategies and she’s here to share how you can, too!
Join us to learn:
- How his pictures reveal whether or not he’s commitment oriented!
- Why posting your hottest pics may NOT be the best tactic!
- Why nobody else should be in your pictures—especially your children!
- The big thing (literally) Dr. Welch calls a “guy magnet!”
- What “mating centrism” is and why you MUST understand it to date successfully!
- How to use the “scarcity principle” to accelerate the connection process.
- How to write a profile that attracts stayers, not players!
- Ways to beat the algorithms!
Online and app dating can be so frustrating but when we look to the science, we make the process a little less maddening and increase our chances of meeting our person!
Dr. Duana Welch
Website: http://www.lovesciencemedia.com/
Dr. Karin
Website: http://loveandlifemedia.com/
Empowered Dating Playbook: smarturl.it/EmpoweredDatingBook
Instagram: @dr.karin
Single is the New Black - Audiobook
Audible: smarturl.it/SITNB-Audible
iTunes: smarturl.it/SITNB-iTunes
Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/love-and-life-media/support
Intuitive life coach Melissa Lyons wonders—what if we considered the “nutritional value” of our thoughts in the same way we assess the nutritional value of our food? Are we paying attention to our mindset? Do we recognize the impact of our thoughts on our feelings and on the energy we radiate and attract back to us?
Melissa and I delve into the energy we bring to the dating scene and I share a few examples from my personal life when I found myself slipping into a negative, defeatist mindset. I realized I needed to get more intentional about, as Melissa would put it, the “nutritional value” of my thoughts in order to remain hopeful and positive.
Melissa believes empaths, in particular, often struggle because their healing energy keeps them focused on others. She shares her thoughts on dating as a highly sensitive person and how women can begin to believe they deserve exactly what they desire in love and life!
She also shares her free “I Have a Choice” mini course https://melissa-lyons.com/loveandlife and the opportunity to join her and 21 other experts for her Unwind Your Mind, What Now? What Next? Virtual retreat! https://melissa-lyons.com/unwind-your-mind-fall-21
Dr. Karin
Website: http://loveandlifemedia.com/
Empowered Dating Playbook: smarturl.it/EmpoweredDatingBook
Instagram: @dr.karin
Single is the New Black - Audiobook
Audible: smarturl.it/SITNB-Audible
iTunes: smarturl.it/SITNB-iTunes
Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/love-and-life-media/support
Dr. Diana Lipford found her way into natural medicine after years of suffering from auto-immune disease, Rheumatoid arthritis, fibromyalgia, and intersistial cystitis. Conventional medicine wasn’t helping her so she eventually asked her doctor, “What can you do for me other than prescribe me with pills?” Her doctor looked at her as if she was crazy and had absolutely nothing to offer her.
So, Diana tried another approach and saw a physician who specialized in herbs and nutrition. Initially, Diana was skeptical; she remembers thinking, “This man has no idea how much pain I’m in!” Her illnesses were debilitating, and Diana felt like a failure as a wife, mother, and teacher. She could barely function, yet her new doctor claimed her gut and liver health were the root cause of her problems. Diana figured, “I have nothing to lose . . .” so she gave this approach a chance and within 10 days, she experienced relief she never imagined was possible.
Due to her own incredible healing and restoration, Diana became a naturopath and she now treats people from a holistic, integrative standpoint. Join us to learn the underlying physiological causes of depression and anxiety and free yourself from the grip of Big Pharma and the Medical Industrial Complex!
Dr. Karin
Website: http://loveandlifemedia.com/
Empowered Dating Playbook: smarturl.it/EmpoweredDatingBook
Instagram: @dr.karin
Single is the New Black - Audiobook
Audible: smarturl.it/SITNB-Audible
iTunes: smarturl.it/SITNB-iTunes
Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/love-and-life-media/support
When love continues to let us down, it’s easy to lose hope. After a divorce and painful breakup with a narcissist (who got hauled off to jail one random morning!), Cindy Drummond found herself alone, yet again. She wrestled, as we all do, with questions:
- How did I let this happen to me?
- Why didn’t I trust my gut and leave him when I sensed something was off?
- How can I heal and move forward?
The mother of two teenage daughters, Cindy knew she needed to model strength and resilience so she set up a plan for recovery including hosting a retreat for women—Women’s Only Weekend (WOW)—and creating structure around her dating process by committing to going on 50 dates in 52 weeks.
Join us to hear Cindy’s story and learn from the wisdom she gleaned by embarking upon 50 dates in a year! She shares this and more in her book, Reflections from the Dating Pool.
Today's Sponsor:
Millionaire Match
App Link: https://app.appsflyer.com/id1484587490?pid=af3236943
Cindy Drummond
Website: https://www.cindydrummond.ca/
Dr. Karin
Website: http://loveandlifemedia.com/
Empowered Dating Playbook: smarturl.it/EmpoweredDatingBook
Instagram: @dr.karin
Single is the New Black - Audiobook
Audible: smarturl.it/SITNB-Audible
iTunes: smarturl.it/SITNB-iTunes
Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/love-and-life-media/support
I hear this question from women in my community all the time—“I have an anxious attachment style. Will I ever be able to be in a secure relationship?”
To address this concern, psychotherapist Elliott Anderson and I take a deep dive into anxious attachment and how it impacts dating and relationships.
Specifically, we discuss:
- Anxious attachment and our desire for intimacy.
- Trauma bonds and anxious attachment.
- When feeling anxiety in a relationship is a GOOD thing!
- How the hookup culture has impacted attachment.
- Masculine and feminine energy as they relate to attachment.
Elliott shares insights from his 30 years of working with clients and couples. Join us to gain a greater understanding of anxious attachment and how it may influence your dating patterns and relationship dynamics.
Dr. Karin
Website: http://loveandlifemedia.com/
Empowered Dating Playbook: smarturl.it/EmpoweredDatingBook
Instagram: @dr.karin
Single is the New Black - Audiobook
Audible: smarturl.it/SITNB-Audible
iTunes: smarturl.it/SITNB-iTunes
Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/love-and-life-media/support
So often when we discuss self-worth and self-esteem, we speak in vague terms about “loving ourselves” first. And sure, we know it starts with us. But what specifically can we DO? What tangible steps can we take to begin to feel worthy of love—especially if we’ve never felt this before?
Anita Stoudmire of Better Love Movement joins me to share practical strategies for building into ourselves first which, in turn, positions us for attracting a healthy, happy relationship.
We delve into:
- What to focus on when you’re first getting to know someone.
- The relationships between authenticity and codependency.
- How to believe we’re okay—just the way we are.
- The difference between being wanted vs. needed in relationships.
- Reparenting—what it is and why many of us need it.
- The importance of clarifying what doesn’t work for us and sticking to these standards.
- The danger of rushing into a relationship and the real reasons behind why people do it.
- Ways to stop losing yourself in relationships.
Dr. Phil says, “We teach people how to treat us.” Once we fully embrace and believe in our worth, we’ll teach everyone around us—including romantic partners—to treat us with courtesy and respect.
Dr. Karin
Website: http://loveandlifemedia.com/
Empowered Dating Playbook: smarturl.it/EmpoweredDatingBook
Instagram: @dr.karin
Single is the New Black - Audiobook
Audible: smarturl.it/SITNB-Audible
iTunes: smarturl.it/SITNB-iTunes
Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/love-and-life-media/support
If you’ve ever struggled to believe you deserve love, you’re not alone. Many of us grew up in emotionally toxic or traumatic home environments. It’s hard to cultivate self-love and acceptance when no one has ever built us up, believed in us, and cherished us.
Author and mindset coach, Leisse Wilcox, wrote the book (literally!) on how to love ourselves—To Call Myself Beloved a Story of Hope, Healing, and Coming Home. She joins me to discuss both the strategies she shares with her clients and her personal journey to self-love.
Specifically, we touch on:
- How to unlearn the stories we’ve told ourselves—many of which are lies.
- Messages we’ve internalized and the meaning we ascribe to these messages.
- The story Leisse believed about herself for so many years—I’m the type of person who’s at the end of the table begging for scraps of love.
- The question that changes everything—are your relationships reinforcing the lies you’ve been told about your worth?
- The reality that worthiness is the point of self love; the point isn’t to love ourselves hoping to get love.
- How to know if you need to confront your own reality and how to do so.
Leisse learned to call herself beloved and you can, too!
Citation: Jerobek, I. (2018, July 8). “I don’t deserve love” Study reveals the destructive impact of a lack of self-worth. Cision PRWeb. https://www.prweb.com/releases/2018/07/prweb15610907.htm
Dr. Karin
Website: http://loveandlifemedia.com/
Instagram: @dr.karin
Single is the New Black - Audiobook
Audible: smarturl.it/SITNB-Audible
iTunes: smarturl.it/SITNB-iTunes
Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/love-and-life-media/support
This week Love & Life partners with Veronica Grant’s “How to Actually Feel Worthy in Love” Podcast Tour! We’re one of 12 podcasts invited to delve into what it truly takes to date from a place of authenticity and confidence so as to build a healthy, happy relationship. But, how can we do so if we don’t fundamentally believe we deserve love?
Psychotherapist Elliott Anderson joins me to share a critical strategy he implements with clients and couples—values clarification. As we identify what matters to us and commit to behaving in alignment with our principles, we fortify our identity and confirm our inherent self-worth. For many clients, internalizing this foundation of self-respect provides the first step toward believing love is available to them and, most importantly, that they absolutely deserve it!
We’re honored to participate in the tour, between Sandy Weiner of Last First Date Radio and Madeline Charles of The Irresistible Woman podcast.
If you’d like to hear all the episodes in the tour and follow along, you can register for free at veronicagrant.com/podtour.
Citation:
Jerobek, I. (2018, July 8). “I don’t deserve love” Study reveals the destructive impact of a lack of self-worth. Cision PRWeb. https://www.prweb.com/releases/2018/07/prweb15610907.htm
Worthy of Love Pod Tour
To follow along with the tour please go to: veronicagrant.com/podtour
Dr. Karin
Website: http://loveandlifemedia.com/
Instagram: @dr.karin
Single is the New Black - Audiobook
Audible: smarturl.it/SITNB-Audible
iTunes: smarturl.it/SITNB-iTunes
Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/love-and-life-media/support
If you’ve ever said, “I really want to date, but I can’t get back out there until I feel confident with my body,” you’re not alone. Most women have wrestled with body image at some point—or at MANY points—in their lives. Veronica Grant understands this struggle and provides powerful strategies for finding where “healthy meets happy” regarding our physique, nutrition, and romance. Join us as we explore themes surrounding:
- Healthy eating that comes from an unhealthy place!
- The rigidity inherent to food restriction—even in efforts to eat more nutritiously!
- The connection between body, intuition, and love life.
- How obsessing about our size may cause us to miss red flags when getting to know someone!
- Getting physical quickly which actually keeps us emotionally unavailable.
- How our efforts to control our diet and exercise spill over to trying to control our partner.
- Our relationship to food and how it mirrors our relationships with others in our life.
Veronica shares her journey from obsessive calorie counter, to strict vegan, to finding freedom and enjoying sushi again! Join us to learn how to truly love your body, feel comfortable in your own skin, and step into dating with confidence—at any size!
Dr. Karin
Website: http://loveandlifemedia.com/
Instagram: @dr.karin
Single is the New Black - Audiobook
Audible: smarturl.it/SITNB-Audible
iTunes: smarturl.it/SITNB-iTunes
Veronica Grant
Emotional Availability Assessment: https://veronicagrant.com/
Love Life Connection Podcast: https://veronicagrant.com/podcast/
Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/love-and-life-media/support
If you’re single, your love life (or lack thereof) is fair game. Friends, family members, and even random strangers provide “solutions” to your “problem.” Or, they interrogate you, determined to uncover the hidden reason you aren’t coupled up—even if you’re perfectly content sans partner! In this Love & Life bonus episode, Debbi Rice of Single and Amazing, Leslie Kaz of Single Girl Bliss, and I discuss the top 5 asinine comments single women hear. Join us for some single girl commiserating and lots of laughs! We’re here for you!
Single is the New Black - Audiobook
Audible: smarturl.it/SITNB-Audible
iTunes: smarturl.it/SITNB-iTunes
Dr. Karin
Website: http://loveandlifemedia.com/
Instagram: @dr.karin
Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/love-and-life-media/support
What happens when you always wanted to be a wife and mother, but you haven’t met your person? Well, if you’re author Melanie Notkin, you start a fabulous brand called, Savvy Auntie! Melanie joins us for a vulnerable and candid discussion about how to embrace and thrive in a life we wouldn’t have scripted. We center the conversation around her poignant and powerful book, Otherhood. Specifically, we delve into:
- How women of The Otherhood manage their ongoing and currently unmet desire for marriage and family.
- The question almost every woman of The Otherhood has asked herself, “Should I settle for a ‘good enough’ guy in order to have children?”
- How to handle invasive and insensitive questions/comments about your life e.g. “You must have focused too much on your career!” or “Didn’t you want kids???”
- The prevailing, yet inaccurate, assumption that women of The Otherhood delayed marriage and child bearing.
- Grieving the loss of the life we’d expected, while embracing the joys of the life we have!
Despite the fact our lives haven’t played out as planned, we women of The Otherhood, can be assured our nurturing and influence make a profound, positive impact on the children we didn’t create, yet choose to love.
Single is the New Black - Audiobook
Audible: smarturl.it/SITNB-Audible
iTunes: smarturl.it/SITNB-iTunes
Dr. Karin
Website: http://loveandlifemedia.com/
Instagram: @dr.karin
Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/love-and-life-media/support
It’s National Unmarried and Single Americans Week! To kick it off, I’ve invited Shani Silver, host of A Single Serving podcast, to share how she moved from complaining about dating to championing the single life! According to Shani, “I came out of a hole and I know the way out of the hole. I want to tell other people that it’s possible.” Here are a few more gems of wisdom from my conversation with Shani:
- “Enjoying a single life—not as a consolation, but as ‘on par’ with life in partnership—is entirely possible. I know this because I’m living it.”
- “It is 100% possible to love your single life and want a relationship at the same time. Both of those things can coexist.”
- “I decided that what was meant for me was going to connect with me. And it was not going to be because I was fighting to find it. Because I had fought to find it for a decade and I didn’t. So that method didn’t serve me. Maybe just relaxing and letting go and living life will connect me with who I’m meant to be with anyway.”
Join us for a celebration of empowered single living!
Shani Silver
Website: shanisilver.com
Single is the New Black - Audiobook
Audible: smarturl.it/SITNB-Audible
iTunes: smarturl.it/SITNB-iTunes
Dr. Karin
Website: http://loveandlifemedia.com/
Instagram: @dr.karin
Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/love-and-life-media/support
After 21 years of dating, serial monogamy, breakups, and periods of feeling miserably alone, Leslie Kaz was over it! Tired of what she calls “The Endless Search” for a man, Leslie decided to take a 6 month break from dating. During those 6 months, Leslie completely redefined herself and her life—so much so, that she abandoned “The Endless Search” and stepped into a brand new way of living! She shares her philosophy in her book, Single Girl Bliss: How to Stop Feeling Alone and Start Feeling Alive. In our conversation, Leslie and I talk about:
· The lies we tell ourselves that make us miserable—and how to tackle them!
· What it means to be alone—and how to manage it emotionally.
· How to choose a partner (should you decide to choose one) from a position of strength!
· What saved her in her darkest hour (I promise, you’ll never guess what it was!)
· The power of how we present ourselves—and our single life—to others.
· How to create new, empowering—and TRUE—beliefs about being single.
When I came across Leslie’s work and read her book, I knew she was Love & Life material! Join us to hear how Leslie lives blissfully single, and learn how you can, too!
Leslie’s Website: www.lesliekaz.com/
Leslie’s Book: www.amazon.com/dp/1734277807/ref…46&s=books&sr=1-1
Single is the New Black - Audiobook
Audible: smarturl.it/SITNB-Audible
iTunes: smarturl.it/SITNB-iTunes
Dr. Karin
Website: http://loveandlifemedia.com/
Instagram: @dr.karin
Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/love-and-life-media/support
It’s National Unmarried and Single Americans Week and to celebrate, I’m sharing the first chapter of my book, Single is the New Black: Don’t Wear White ‘til it’s Right! One of the main myths singles hear is that they’re somehow fundamentally flawed and that’s why they haven’t met their person—if they’d just “fix themselves” already, true love would finally come their way. Yeah, right. I take issue with this bogus assumption and much more in my book and I share the first chapter with you here as a way to kick off a week devoted to singles. Let’s thrive during our single season! My book is here to help!
Stay tuned throughout the week for more bonus episodes and giveaways!
Single is the New Black - Audiobook
Audible: smarturl.it/SITNB-Audible
iTunes: smarturl.it/SITNB-iTunes
Dr. Karin
Website: http://loveandlifemedia.com/
Instagram: @dr.karin
Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/love-and-life-media/support
Women without children walk the road less traveled—and for the vast majority of them, this path was not of their choosing. In fact, of the women who reach midlife without children, only 10% planned to be “child free”, while 10% are childless due to infertility, and a full 80% are childless not by choice but rather, due to circumstances. Jody Day of Gateway Women shares her personal journey and discusses the many layers of disenfranchised grief surrounding childlessness. Specifically, we cover:
· Second wave feminism and the unintended consequence of circumstantial childlessness.
· The emotional, physical, and financial complexities of IVF—the real stats.
· Jody’s thoughts on how to respond to the, “Oh, you would have made such a great mom!” comments.
· When the term “biological clock” first appeared in the discourse.
· The pain of “not being chosen” for partnership along with the “not being chosen” to be someone’s mother.
· Grieving the loss of the “identity” of mother.
· How to “reclaim our worthiness” and find our place as women without children.
· The fetishism of motherhood.
· Societal and policy concerns surrounding childless women.
The pain is real, but it’s a disenfranchised sorrow—how do you grieve the loss of something you never had? Join us for an empathic, supportive conversation and be sure to participate in World Childless Week’s virtual summit September 13 – 19, 2021.
Click here to get a free chapter from Jody's book - Living the Life Unexpected: How to Find Hope, Meaning and a Fulfilling Future Without Children
More info on Jody's book here: http://www.gateway-women.com/book
Sponsor: Millionaire Match
MillionaireMatch is an exclusive, award-winning dating site for elite singles looking for serious relationships & marriages!
Download the free app here: https://app.appsflyer.com/id1484587490?pid=af3236943
Single is the New Black - Audiobook
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iTunes: smarturl.it/SITNB-iTunes
Dr. Karin
Website: http://loveandlifemedia.com/
Instagram: @dr.karin
Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/love-and-life-media/support
In this Love & Life Q&A episode, I answer the following questions:
-
“Jessica” really wants to remain friends with her ex. This breakup is even harder than most because they trauma bonded throughout 2020 when she turned 40 and also lost her father. Is it possible they could actually remain friends?
-
“Danielle” hasn’t spoken to her ex for over a year but she still thinks about him. She knows she needs to move on but like most of us, she absolutely HATES dating apps. Is there anything she can do?
I share therapeutic strategies for how to get over heartbreak by moving through and moving on.
Dr. Karin
Single is the New Black - Audiobook
Audible: smarturl.it/SITNB-Audible
iTunes: smarturl.it/SITNB-iTunes
Website: http://loveandlifemedia.com/
Instagram: @dr.karin
Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/love-and-life-media/support
“We’ll be besties forever!” “No matter what happens, we’ll stay close.” “You’re my BFF and nothing will change that!” We said it. We meant it. But life happens, and it gets in the way of even the closest friendship. And sometimes it hurts—a lot. But we CAN remain close—as we talked about in last week’s episode—by examining our expectations. My BFF, Miriam Conner, joins me to share her philosophy on friendship—the “No Pressure” friendship. Specifically, we delve into: How to maintain strong friendships while also adjusting our expectations as our priorities shift. What developmental psych research on preschoolers and empathy can teach us about adult friendships! Three options for how to respond when a friend disappoints us. Personal stories of when we both found ourselves needing to cut friends out of our lives. How to handle it when a friend cancels plans at the last minute. What to do when a friend changes dramatically. How to politely disengage from a friend who has unreasonable expectations. The parallels between dating/marriage and lifelong friendships. Why some women LOVE drama in their friendships. Join us to learn how to cultivate “no pressure friendships” with your besties!
Dr. Karin
Single is the New Black - Audiobook
Audible: smarturl.it/SITNB-Audible
iTunes: smarturl.it/SITNB-iTunes
Website: http://loveandlifemedia.com/
Instagram: @dr.karin
Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/love-and-life-media/support
When asked what we treasure most, people readily respond with one word—relationships. Our friends, family, and romantic partners enrich our lives in myriad ways, providing encouragement, support, affection, and joy.
Except when they don’t.
When our relationships are in crisis, our life is in crisis and when they’re thriving, we thrive. As Tony Robbins puts it, “The quality of your life is the quality of your relationships.”
So, why is it such a struggle to maintain healthy and fulfilling intimacy in our lives?
Great question! And, today’s episode provides answers! Join me to learn three research-based hacks to improve EVERY relationship in your life—your connection to friends, family, and significant others!
Citations:
Hawkley, L.C., Thisted, R.A., Masi, C.M., & Cacioppo, J.T. (2010). Loneliness predicts increased blood pressure: 5-year cross-lagged analyses in middle-aged and older adults. Psychology and Aging, 25(1), 132-141.
Holt-Lunstad, J., Smith, T., & Layton, B. (2010). Social relationships and mortality risk: A meta-analytic review. J.PLoS Med 7 (7).
Kroenke, C., Quesenberry, C., Kwan, M., Sweeney, C., Castillo, A., & Caan, B. (2013). Social networks, social support, and burden in relationships, and mortality after breast cancer diagnosis in the Life After Breast Cancer Epidemiology (LACE) Study. Breast Cancer Research and Treatment, 137(1), 261-271.
Luhmann, M., Hofmann, M., Eid, W., & Lucas, R. (2012). Subjective well-being and adaptation to life events: A meta-analysis. Journal of Personality & Social Psychology, 102(3), 592-615.
Dr. Karin
Single is the New Black - Audiobook
Audible: smarturl.it/SITNB-Audible
iTunes: smarturl.it/SITNB-iTunes
Website: http://loveandlifemedia.com/
Instagram: @dr.karin
Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/love-and-life-media/support
It’s time for another Love & Life Q&A episode! We have three questions to tackle today.
-
One listener wants to know how to ask a guy out. She lives in Ireland and finds Irish men are often hesitant to take the lead. Can she ask him out while still dating empowered?
-
A second listener struggles to find the motivation to date after a year of lockdowns and Covid malaise. But she’s in her late 30s and worries about her biological clock. Why is it such a struggle? What can she do to motivate herself?
-
A third listener wonders how to let guys know she’s interested—she’s been told she’s too closed off and appears aloof in the early stages of dating. So in her last relationship, she tried to be open, honest, and vulnerable, but she got ghosted anyway! She now regrets it because looking back she felt much “schmoopier” with this guy—which wasn’t comfortable for her. How can she express interest while still dating empowered?
Join us for a deep dive into these common—and frustrating—dating dilemmas!
Citations:
https://www.bbc.co.uk/science/hottopics/love/flirting.shtml
https://maclynninternational.us/blog/the-science-of-flirting/
Dr. Karin
Single is the New Black - Audiobook
Audible: smarturl.it/SITNB-Audible
iTunes: smarturl.it/SITNB-iTunes
Website: http://loveandlifemedia.com/
Instagram: @dr.karin
Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/love-and-life-media/support
Sometimes, if we’ve been single for a while—or longer than a while—we begin to doubt ourselves. We wonder why love seems so hard to find. Are we doing something wrong? Is there a particular quality we’re missing? What are men looking for anyway? Well, here’s the good news. You have exactly what your person is looking for! I promise. And, it’s not just my opinion, it’s what science says! Psychologist David Buss studied men and women in 37 different cultures/countries and found that both sexes desire the same four qualities in their spouses. Join me for an empowering and confidence boosting episode—you have everything you need to attract your person to you!
References:
Buss, D. (1989). Sex differences in human mate preferences: Evolutionary hypotheses tested in 37 cultures. Behavioral and Brain Sciences, 12, 1-14.
Welch, D. (2015). Love factually: 10 proven steps from I wish to I do. Love Science Media.
Sponsor:
Therappy App
Download the app here: https://therappy.onelink.me/mNmu/92326bf9
Dr. Karin
Single is the New Black - Audiobook
Audible: smarturl.it/SITNB-Audible
iTunes: smarturl.it/SITNB-iTunes
Website: http://loveandlifemedia.com/
Instagram: @dr.karin
Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/love-and-life-media/support
On Love & Life we talk about beliefs all the time—because they’re incredibly powerful and they impact every area of our lives—especially our love life. What we believe about ourselves and what we believe we have to offer a partner sets the tone we bring to our dating efforts and experiences. And sometimes, we hold beliefs that assert influence over us, but we don’t even know we hold these beliefs! On today’s episode, psychotherapist turned dating coach, Melanie Hersch, and I explore how we can harness our beliefs and level up our mindset for empowered dating!
Join us to learn how to:
- reprogram limiting beliefs about our self-worth.
- identify the stories we tell ourselves—which may, in fact, be lies!
- be vulnerable without providing too much information too soon!
- recognize when we’re triggered so as not to blame and shame our partner.
- establish boundaries early on when dating—boundaries which establish precedents for how you desire to be treated throughout the relationship.
Incorporating her psychotherapist background into her coaching philosophy, Melanie brings clarity and expertise to our podcast conversation and her approach to dating and relationships!
Sponsor:
Therappy App
Download the app here: https://therappy.onelink.me/mNmu/92326bf9
Melanie Hersch
Website: https://therefinedwoman.com/
Instagram: @therefinedwoman
Dr. Karin
Single is the New Black - Audiobook
Audible: smarturl.it/SITNB-Audible
iTunes: smarturl.it/SITNB-iTunes
Website: http://loveandlifemedia.com/
Instagram: @dr.karin
Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/love-and-life-media/support
Sexless in the city? Isn’t that a contradiction in terms? In our hyper-sexualized culture, it appears everyone is hooking up without concern—giving no thought whatsoever to the impact casual encounters have on our soul and psyche. But this perception may not be the reality—it certainly isn’t for blogger and author Kat Harris. Kat has thought deeply about sex—its place in her life as a Christian, single woman and its role in society in general. Kat talks about her new book, Sexless in the City: A Sometimes Sassy, Sometimes Painful, Always Honest Look at Dating, Desire, and Sex. Specifically, we delve into:
- The vastly different expectations we have of men and women when it comes to managing our sex drive.
- The trending and controversial topic of “modest is hottest.”
- How casual sex “flattens” our humanity.
- The “friend zone” and what we sometimes do to get ourselves stuck there.
- Daddy issues and attraction to unavailable men.
Join us for—as the book’s title promises—a sometimes sassy, sometimes painful, and always honest look at dating, desire, and sex.
Sponsor:
Millionaire Match
Download the free app here: https://app.appsflyer.com/id1484587490?pid=af3236943
Kat Harris
Website: https://therefinedwoman.com/
Instagram: @therefinedwoman
Dr. Karin
Single is the New Black - Audiobook
Audible: smarturl.it/SITNB-Audible
iTunes: smarturl.it/SITNB-iTunes
Website: http://loveandlifemedia.com/
Instagram: @dr.karin
Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/love-and-life-media/support
I’ve rolled out a few reels over the last couple months talking about cultivating an empowered mindset for empowered dating! But unfortunately, for some of you watching overseas, the audio won’t play when music is placed behind the vocal track (perhaps it’s a licensing issue in some countries?) When I learned some of you weren’t able to hear the audio, I figured the best way to work around this problem would be to share the reels via a podcast episode. So, here it is! Let me know your favorite reels and if you have any topics you’d like me to address—via reels or in a Love Smarter, Not Harder IGTV—please head over to my website to let me know how I can be of help!
Sponsor:
Millionaire Match
Download the free app here: https://app.appsflyer.com/id1484587490?pid=af3236943
Single is the New Black - Audiobook
Audible: smarturl.it/SITNB-Audible
iTunes: smarturl.it/SITNB-iTunes
Dr. Karin
Website: http://loveandlifemedia.com/
Instagram: @dr.karin
Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/love-and-life-media/support
Tausha Pearson would tell you, “It all started with a ‘crazy’ single mom tax return…” “Crazy” meaning—she had a chunk of money she didn’t need. So, she took that tax return and spent it on a trip to Haiti. While touring Haitian orphanages with 11 social work interns, Tausha learned 80% of the orphans had families who desperately wanted them home but couldn’t afford to feed and educate them. In addition to this sad reality, she discovered rampant sexual abuse occurring in every orphanage they visited. Tausha couldn’t unsee this devastation; she took action by creating Haiti Mama—an organization devoted to providing parents with services and employment to help families remain intact. Tausha is a disrupter—she disrupted ineffective (and abusive!) child welfare practices and implemented support to reunite Haitian families! Join us to hear Tausha’s inspiring story and learn how you can be a part of the Haiti Mama mission!
Tausha Pearson
Website: http://www.haitimama.org/
Dr. Karin
Website: http://loveandlifemedia.com/
Instagram: @dr.karin
Single is the New Black - Audiobook
Audible: smarturl.it/SITNB-Audible
iTunes: smarturl.it/SITNB-iTunes
Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/love-and-life-media/support
Have you heard? You can now listen to my book, Single is the New Black: Don’t Wear White ‘til it’s Right! It’s available on Audible and iTunes! To celebrate the release of the audio version, I wanted to provide a chapter as a podcast episode so you could get a feel for the book and what it’s all about. It’s essentially the book I wish had been available to me when I was still single and, as a matter of fact, I started writing it when I was still single. I was so tired of reading self-help books that made me feel worse about myself—books that tried to convince me I was doing something horribly wrong or I that I was fundamentally flawed and that’s why I was still single. So, like I said, I wrote the book I couldn’t find but wanted to read! (I go into more depth and share the backstory of why I wrote the book in ep. 90 so if that interests you, please check out that episode.)
I wasn’t sure which chapter to share and I considered chapter 3 because when I was single, people often told me I was too picky and my standards were too high. But then I thought, why don’t I ask YOU which chapter you’d like to hear? So, I posted a poll in my stories and I’m glad I did because the chapter that received the most votes was chapter 11—Quit Worrying About Being Alone Forever: Fear is a Powerful thing.
Everyone who’s been single longer than they’d hoped to be has encountered this fear. And many of us have made some soul crushing decisions because of it. I hope the chapter encourages you and provides you with some strategies for tackling loneliness and the fear that so often accompanies it.
You asked for it, you got it! Chapter 11: Quit Worrying About Being Alone Forever: Fear is a Powerful thing.
Single is the New Black - Audiobook
Audible: smarturl.it/SITNB-Audible
iTunes: smarturl.it/SITNB-iTunes
Dr. Karin
Website: http://loveandlifemedia.com/
Instagram: @dr.karin
Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/love-and-life-media/support
If you’ve dated a passive man or TRIED to date a passive man—because he never got around to asking you out—this episode is for you! As empowered women, we’ve been raised to take charge and take action, but does that work for us when dating? Psychotherapist Elliott Anderson is back to share his thoughts on male passivity—what it’s about and how to handle it!
Elliott and I discuss:
- Why women who’ve experienced mother wounds may be more likely to be attracted to passive men.
- The definition of interdependence and how it’s VERY different from codependence.
- Why most women would rather know their man’s heart and disagree with his thoughts than not know him and feel alienated from him.
- What Elliott has learned after working with hundreds of men. Spoiler alert: NONE of these passive men have been okay with their passivity. They’ve always loathed that part of their personality.
- Why letting a man choose you helps us stop choosing passive men.
- How to be a cheerleader for your man without running things and taking a leadership role.
- Why we need to reexamine our assumptions about anxious attachment style.
- The reality that a woman can’t make a man assertive.
There’s hope for passive men and the women who love them. Join us for a deep dive into this intense and complex concern.
Dr. Karin
Website: http://loveandlifemedia.com/
Instagram: @dr.karin
Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/love-and-life-media/support
Lisa Cleary went through a bad breakup at age 31. In addition to grieving the demise of her relationship, she lost her job and ended up homeless. She slept on friends’ sofas for months. She felt defeated and demoralized—this was not where she expected to be at 31. And while her life unraveled, her friends’ lives seemed to play out perfectly. Lisa got knocked down hard, but through her pain and struggle, she developed grit and perspective. She shares her experience in her book, How to Survive a Breakup: When All of Your Friends Are Birthing Their Second Child,and she joins us to discuss the question, “Can anything good come from a bad breakup?”
Specifically she delves into:
- Toxic Milestones: the tendency for women to berate themselves if they’re “missing the mark”
- How she felt the need to “prove her worth” with the perfect relationship and high-powered job
- The problem with being a Type A personality when dating
- Trying to make a relationship something it isn’t meant to be
- The beauty in honoring the “process”—as opposed to the relentless focus on the “outcome”
Join us to consider the “good” we can glean from “bad” in various realms of love and life!
Lisa Cleary
Website: http://https://lisacleary.com/
Dr. Karin
Website: http://loveandlifemedia.com/
Instagram: @dr.karin
Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/love-and-life-media/support
In this Love & Life Q&A episode, I answer 3 questions:
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How can I tell if the attraction I feel for someone is healthy? What if the “sparks” are a result of a trauma bond or anxious attachment style?
-
How can I address the topic of a pre-nup with my fiancé? He has a son and I’m currently taking care of us financially because he’s in school. I just want to be sure I’m taking care of my finances as we move forward.
-
Do women need to “signal” to other women that they’re in a relationship? I see many women “flexing” to let others know their man is “off limits.” I’m personally not into this. But, if I’m with a guy, will he want to see me posture in this manner to let to other women know he belongs to me?
Join us to hear my thoughts on these questions!
Dr. Karin
Website: http://www.loveandlifemedia.com/
Instagram: @dr.karin
Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/love-and-life-media/support
We say it every week on Love & Life,“Take charge of your thoughts! Take charge of your life!” And what better way to do so than by taking a deep dive into female brain chemistry! Thanks to Dr. Tracy Alloway’s new book, Think Like a Girl: 10 Unique Strengths of a Woman’s Brain and How to Make Them Work for You, we now have a comprehensive resource for harnessing our female brain and appreciating its superpowers! Join us to discuss:
- What you need to know about your female brain if you’re in leadership—or hope to be someday!
- How a bucket of ice can help with rational decision making!
- The ONE main quality to look for in potential romantic partners (it predicts successful, happy, lasting relationships!)
- How to be attracted to people who are GOOD for us!
- Attachment styles in dating—you’ll be surprised what you’ll learn about attachment and men!
- Oxytocin and bonding—what you need to know to cultivate and nurture your partnership/marriage!
- The research on how to remain madly in love!
- The differences between men and women when it comes to lying—spoiler alert: we both lie, but we lie about different things!
Dr. Alloway provides research based takeaways for how to level up in love and life by leveraging our innate cognitive processes and leaning into our “Think Like a Girl” power!
Dr. Karin
Website: http://www.loveandlifemedia.com/
Instagram: @dr.karin
Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/love-and-life-media/support
In last week’s episode Dan and I answered your questions—many of which surrounded the beginning of our relationship. We noted we started dating in late August and Dan asked me to be exclusive in early January—about 4 ½ months. Much to my surprise, I received a lot of feedback from you with comments like, “How did you wait so long?” “Wasn’t it hard knowing he was dating other people? I’d be so jealous!” “I have Anxious Attachment—I couldn’t handle a relationship being undefined for so long!” Obviously, I felt comfortable with the pace of our relationship but many of you (65% according to my Insta poll) felt differently. Your responses got me thinking—about my history of taking things slowly, the science substantiating this approach, and also, about how slowing our roll can serve as our best defense against love bombing!
Dr. Karin
Website: http://www.loveandlifemedia.com/
Instagram: @dr.karin
Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/love-and-life-media/support
Recently, I posted a poll on Instagram asking if you had any questions or topics you wanted Dan and me to discuss on the program. You had a LOT to say and today we respond to you questions and concerns in an episode devoted to how to have a GREAT relationship. Specifically, we cover:
- What do men worry about when dating? What were Dan’s concerns?
- Do men really change for a woman if she’s The One?
- How dating in your late 30s/early 40s differs from dating earlier in life.
- How Dan and I met (for more on this, check out episode 46).
- How our relationship progressed—did we date other people while dating each other? Did we know we were dating other people? Were we jealous about these other relationships?
- Why we decided to choose to be exclusive with each other (for more on this, check out episode 89).
We received so many questions, we decided to make this a two-part series.
Dr. Karin
Website: http://loveandlifemedia.com
Instagram: @dr.karin
Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/love-and-life-media/support
There’s still a bit of mystery—and sometimes, stigma—surrounding psychotherapy, so I’m starting an occasional series called, “Let’s Talk Therapy!” In these episodes we’ll pull back the curtain and provide the inside scoop on what counseling is all about! Today, Eli Weinstein, LCSW, shares his professional and personal journey as a social worker and therapist. Join us as we discuss:
- The lingering stigma surrounding mental health.
- The “dream” of treating emotional health with the same frequency as our physical health.
- Why saying “I’m having a panic attack!” when you’re actually just nervous, is problematic for ourselves and others.
- The relationship between your health insurance provider and therapist.
- What therapists can do to see their clients more objectively.
- What YOU can do to be sure you pick the right counselor for you!
We wrap up with Eli’s philosophy on dating, relationships, and marriage—some of our fav Love & Life topics!
Eli Weinstein, LCSW
Website: https://www.elivation.org/
Dr. Karin
Website: http://www.loveandlifemedia.com/
Instagram: @dr.karin
Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/love-and-life-media/support
No one makes it through childhood unscathed—and for some, childhood consists of multiple traumatic events. We carry these wounds with us as we step into adulthood—at which point, we may hope to just survive. But can we actually THRIVE after trauma? Shari Botwin, LCSW, joins me to talk about her book, Thriving After Trauma: Stories of Living and Healing. Shari discusses her own childhood trauma and the steps she took to move through pain and move toward wholeness and health. We talk specifically about the shame inherent to trauma, how to find an appropriate therapist to assist you in your journey, and ways to feel empowered despite years of feeling disempowered. Shari’s story and wisdom will inspire you to believe in the possibility of thriving after trauma!
Shari Botwin, LCSW
Website: http://www.sharibotwin.com/
Instagram: @warriorbotwin7
Warrior Women Speak Podcast: https://anchor.fm/shari-botwin
Book: http://www.rowman.com/ISBN/9781538125601/Thriving-After-Trauma-Stories-of-Living-and-Healing
Use discount code 20RLFANDF30 at checkout for 30% off%!
Dr. Karin
Website: http://www.loveandlifemedia.com/
Instagram: @dr.karin
Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/love-and-life-media/support
Relationships don’t have to be so difficult—they can actually be fluid and even EASY! But they definitely can’t be easy if we pick unhealthy, toxic partners. And all too often, we’re completely unaware as to why we keep attracting—and being attracted to—dysfunctional people in the first place. For years, Anita Stoudmire chose men who were incapable of being the partner she desired. Eventually, she’d had enough disappointment and frustration. Anita began to unpack the dynamics causing her to choose poorly. She joins me to explain how she fixed her “picker” and finally learned to choose well!
Anita Stoudmire, MA, LPC
Website: http://www.betterlovemovement.com/
Instagram: @betterlovemovement
Dr. Karin
Website: http://www.loveandlifemedia.com/
Instagram: @dr.karin
Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/love-and-life-media/support
One question I often receive is, “I know ‘core values’ are important in relationships, but to be honest, I’m not sure I actually know what mine are.” In this episode, we discuss the definition of core values and how we can identify the ones that matter most to us. Furthermore, we explore how clarifying our core values not only allows us to better understand ourselves, but also prepares us to recognize our person! We wrap up the episode discussing the psych research surrounding core values and how our values set a foundation for successful, fulfilling relationships!
Sources:
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/click-here-happiness/201807/39-core-values-and-how-live-them
https://www.marriage.com/advice/relationship/relationship-values-every-couple-must-have/
Dr. Karin
Website: http://www.loveandlifemedia.com/
Instagram: @dr.karin
Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/love-and-life-media/support
It’s hard to trust when our heart has been broken multiple times. We get jaded and bitter. We build up a wall of protection. We worry we’ll never be able to trust anyone ever again. This week I answer 3 listeners’ questions. One listener asks exactly this: How can I trust again after being cheated on multiple times and spending 9 years in a toxic relationship? Another listener wonders if she should change her name now that she’s divorced. She’s concerned because she has 3 school aged children and although she’d like to step away from her ex’s name, she’s concerned about how her children might feel should their mom have a different last name. The final question is from a woman wondering how to respond to an ex’s new gf who insists on bad-mouthing her to their mutual friends.
Dr. Karin
Website: http://www.loveandlifemedia.com/
Instagram: @dr.karin
Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/love-and-life-media/support
One of the themes of Love & Life is Never Settle! But for women who refuse to settle in love, it might take a while to meet our person. Most of us are okay waiting for the right one, but it’s our biological clock that puts the pressure on us. The realities of our fertility can’t be ignored—we can’t procreate forever. But over the last several years, egg freezing has moved from an experimental procedure to one that’s mainstream and quite common. Many of you have reached out asking if I’d cover egg freezing on the podcast. So, when I saw Britt McHenry’s Instagram story about freezing her eggs, I reached out to see if she’d share her egg freezing journey with the Love & Life community. Join us to learn all you need to know about freezing your eggs from one who’s been there, done that and is SO glad she did.
Britt McHenry is a Fox News contributor. She was one of the main hosts to launch Fox’s streaming service Fox Nation, specifically designed for Millennials across the country. She’s a political host and contributor to WTTG/Fox 5 in Washington D.C. Britt appears on two primetime shows including the hit program, “Like It or Not,” alongside former ESPN colleague Bram Weinstein and WPGC-FM News Director Guy Lambert. Britt worked at ESPN for four years as a reporter, host, and writer focusing primarily on the NFL and MLB. She began her career as a sports anchor at WJLA-TV/ABC-7 in Washington DC, where she worked for 6 years. McHenry is a graduate from Northwestern University’s Medill School of Journalism.
Dr. Karin
Website: http://www.loveandlifemedia.com/
Instagram: @dr.karin
Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/love-and-life-media/support
Most of us assumed we’d eventually be mothers. And, many of us deeply desired this—we dreamed about it, we planned for it, we read parenting books preparing ourselves for this most important role. But sometimes, life doesn’t play out as we’d hoped and we end up childless not by choice. Katy Seppi of Chasing Creation joins me to talk about how we can move through this profound loss—the loss of something we never had. Katy discusses the concerns childless women face—the alienation from other women who are mothers, the disenfranchised grief, and how we can reimagine and embrace a life that looks nothing like the life we expected. She also shares details about her upcoming virtual conference—The Childless Collective Summit!
Dr. Karin
Website: http://www.loveandlifemedia.com/
Instagram: @dr.karin
Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/love-and-life-media/support
I LOVE hearing from you and I know listeners LOVE hearing from each other! So a few months ago, I reached out to you via my newsletter to see if anyone wanted to tell her story. I was so happy Kate Griffith agreed to share the struggles she faced during her single years—but also, and more importantly, why she’s actually glad for her single years and the growth she experienced while navigating life solo! Kate talks about all she did to embrace her single season—how she made reservations for one, saw movies by herself, and even traveled alone. By pushing and challenging herself in these realms, Kate became stronger individually, gained confidence, and learned to be at home with herself—and by herself. We wrap up the conversation focusing on the benefits of adulting on our own—benefits that pay off in spades once we’re in partnership.
Dr. Karin
Website: http://www.loveandlifemedia.com/
Instagram: @dr.karin
Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/love-and-life-media/support
Brunnie’s childhood was rough. Her family struggled with addiction, abandonment, abuse, poverty, and more. As a result, she created a protective shell around her which left her “emotionally frozen” and withdrawn. In college, she sought out counseling—she knew she needed help. Her therapist empathized with her, validating the adversity she’d endured. Then he said two words that changed her life forever, “Now what?” Through the power of REBT (Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy), Brunnie learned she didn’t have to always be sad. She had a choice in the matter! She could take charge of her thoughts to take charge of her life—which she did! Join us to hear how Brunnie moved from a bad childhood to a great life via REBT!
Dr. Karin
Website: http://loveandlifemedia.com/
Instagram: @dr.karin
Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/love-and-life-media/support
In part 2 of my recent Insta live with Laura Behnke, we break down three ridiculous lies single women hear ALL the time! Unfortunately, we heard them, too, and in this episode we share how we pushed back against them! We then answer questions we received from those watching the live:
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Do we miss anything about being single?
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How can I tell the difference between a dealbreaker vs. typical ups and downs of relationships?
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If I haven’t had a legit relationship, should I tell someone I’m just starting to date?
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How can I fall into my feminine energy?
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I’m scared of getting hurt—once again! What can I do?
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I’m a perfectionist. Do I hold my bfs to unreasonable standards?
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My mother recently passed away and I was her caretaker. I’m not sure what to do with myself now…
Laura and I have #beentherefeltthat and we’re here to provide the support we wish we’d had when we were single for much longer than we’d expected.
Dr. Karin
Website: http://loveandlifemedia.com/
Instagram: @dr.karin
Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/love-and-life-media/support
Last week I did an Instagram live with Laura Behnke of Life Actually. Laura and I align on so many levels—she also found love later than she’d hoped to and therefore dealt with “single shaming” along the way. Laura’s been there, felt that and learned to embrace her life actually! Join us for a lively conversation discussing:
- How to increase your self worth (spoiler alert: science says there’s only ONE way!)
- Managing the fear of, “What if I never find my person?”
- How to use “psychological flexibility” to embrace your life actually and live life on YOUR terms! (“psychological flexibility” comes from Acceptance and Commitment Therapy—see episode 65 with Dr. Steven C. Hayes, creator of ACT)
- How to fall in love with being by yourself.
- The myth of being “too independent” to find love and why your independence makes you BETTER prepared for partnership!
- How being with a partner because you WANT each other—as opposed to NEED each other—protects us from infidelity.
- How to move from operating from a place of fear to empowered decision making!
Laura and I had so much to talk about, I decided to break up our convo into two parts. Enjoy part one, and sit tight for part two which we’ll roll out later this week.
Dr. Karin
Website: http://loveandlifemedia.com
Instagram: @dr.karin
Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/love-and-life-media/support
Many of you resonated with our recent conversation on the father wound (ep. 125) and asked if we’d speak to the mother wound, too. So, psychotherapist and pastor Elliott Anderson is back to discuss how mother wounds affect our dating and relationships. Join us to learn:
- How the mother wound differs from the father wound.
- Common mother wounds children experience.
- Enmeshment with mothers and how this impacts our ability to form healthy romantic attachments.
- Recognizing when we’re “using” a romantic connection to “escape” dynamics from our family of origin.
- Dating a man with a mother wound.
In recognizing our mother wounded, we’re able to bring it to the surface, process it, and move through it—toward emotional relief, intrapersonal wholeness, and relational wellness.
Dr. Karin
Website: http://www.loveandlifemedia.com/
Instagram: @dr.karin
Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/love-and-life-media/support
Fear is a powerful force—it permeates all realms of love and life but it seems particularly impactful when it comes to dating. We fear meeting someone new—because we’ve been rejected before. We fear trusting—because our trust has been broken in the past. We fear committing—because commitments never seem to last. At the same time, we fear not dating, trusting, and committing because we fear being alone and worry we’ll be single forever. Psychologist Dr. Stephanie Spielmann’s work examines this specific concern—the fear of being single forever. Join me as I discuss the findings from several Spielmann studies elucidating the influence of fear on our dating lives, but more importantly—what we can do to overcome this fear and date from a place of hope and empowerment!
Dr. Karin
Website: http://loveandlifemedia.com
Instagram: @dr.karin
Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/love-and-life-media/support
If you’ve ever wondered if you have “daddy issues” or been curious as to how your relationship with your father influences the men you choose and the dynamics you experience in relationships, this episode is for you! Psychotherapist Elliott Anderson and I take a deep dive into how father wounds show up in our romantic relationships—and most importantly, how we can heal these wounds so as to avoid repeating painful patterns. Elliott and I discuss:
- The two main ways father wounds play out with the couples Elliott counsels.
- How psychotherapy can heal a father wound in unique and profound ways.
- The importance of forgiving our fathers.
- The tension between being drawn to someone who’s good for us vs. feeling like we’re settling.
- Why dating a “fixer upper” never works!
Elliott also talks about his new book, Simon Says: Principles and Perspectives from Dr. Simon V. Anderson. Simon Says shares the abundant wisdom of our father and the profound and enduring impact he had on his children and community.
__________________________________
Elliott Anderson
Purchase Simon Says: https://amzn.to/3sYdQFK
Dr. Karin
Website: www.loveandlifemedia.com
Instagram: @dr.karin
Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/love-and-life-media/support
You loved episode 92 in which Dr. Welch taught us what it means to date as a “high status” woman. Several of you had follow up questions about this concept, so when Dr. Welch joined me this week on the podcast (ep. 123), I asked her if she’d be willing to stick around and record a bonus episode to address your concerns. She agreed and here we are! As for the questions: Taryn wants to know how women can present ourselves as “high status” if we don’t fit society’s typical standards of beauty. Mindy wonders about getting physical—how can we approach this element of dating from a “high status” perspective? Join us to hear Dr. Welch’s answers to these “high status” hot topics!
Dr. Welch
Website: http://lovefactually.co/
Dr. Karin
Website: http://loveandlifemedia.com/
Instagram: @dr.karin
Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/love-and-life-media/support
Love & Life fan favorite, Dr. Duana Welch is back! In this episode, Dr. Welch shares the psych research on breaking up and moving on. Join us as we discuss how to:
- Choose healing and peace even after the most devastating breakup.
- Guarantee you’ll never get emotionally abused.
- Convey your needs in relationships—even early on!
- Recognize our attachment style and work with it as we heal.
- Manage the clichés you’ll hear about heartbreak recovery and getting back “out there.”
- Figure out if you’re “too picky.”
- Stop worrying about being alone forever.
Dr. Welch merges relationship science with her personal journey of dating, marriage, and divorce. Join us to learn how to “love factually!”
Dr. Welch
Website: http://lovefactually.co/
Dr. Karin
Website: http://loveandlifemedia.com/
Instagram: @dr.karin
Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/love-and-life-media/support
“More than one in four women take medication to treat a mental health condition” (Medco Health Solutions). Are 25% of us actually clinically depressed and anxious? Or, might diagnostic inflation be at work? Psychologist Dr. Steven C. Hayes speaks to this and more in his new book, Beyond the DSM: Toward a Process-Based Alternative for Diagnosis and Mental Health Treatment. Join us for a conversation about:
· The excessive biomedicalization of the human condition.
· How a DSM diagnosis may make us more passive and less responsible for our own emotional well-being.
· The notion of “having” a psychiatric illness vs. assessing the things we “do” and the feelings that show up for us.
· Debunking the “science” of mental illness.
· Why genes are NOT deterministic of our emotional and psychological functioning (spoiler alert: epigenetics).
· How meditation impacts our emotional state and our genes!
If you’ve ever wondered why it seems everyone “has” some sort of disorder nowadays, this episode is for you! We explore ways we can ALL move beyond the DSM and toward a more empowered approach to emotional and psychological health!
https://www.prnewswire.com/news-releases/the-mental-health-gender-gap-women-far-exceed-men-in-their-use-of-psychotropic-medications-as-utilization-increases-among-both-sexes-143297886.html
Dr. Karin
Website: loveandlifemedia.com
Instagram: @dr.karin
Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/love-and-life-media/support
I get asked about hope a lot:
· How can I stay hopeful when the dating scene is so bleak?
· How can I maintain a hopeful attitude after being ghosted yet again?
· How can I hold onto hope? All the good ones are taken!
Maintaining a happy, hopeful, positive attitude when you’ve been dating for a long time—way longer than you expected or wanted to—isn’t easy at all.
I’ve been there, felt that.
Over my 27 years of dating (from 15 until age 42 when I got married), there were definitely times when I thought it would be so much easier to just give up and resign myself to being single forever.
But I never gave up hope. And, I don’t want you to, either!
Research in psychology confirms hope makes a huge difference in our emotional—and even physical!—well-being.
Furthermore, hope is within our control! By practicing research-based strategies, we can cultivate and sustain a hopeful attitude despite the disappointments we are bound to experience.
Join me to learn the science of hope and the practices we can implement in order to enjoy its psychological benefits!
Citations:
Connors, C. (2017, June 1). The science of hope: World renowned psychologists explain its power. Medium. https://medium.com/the-mission/the-science-of-hope-world-renowned-psychologists-explain-its-power-b914dd0da631
Hardy, B. (2020, July 27). 8 Science backed ways to increase your hope. Forge. https://forge.medium.com/10-science-based-ways-to-increase-your-hope-430892caacb2
Dr. Karin
Website: loveandlifemedia.com
Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/love-and-life-media/support
Ella has a history of dating bad boys, but she’s trying to turn this around! She listened to episode 63 with Ken Page, LCSW, bought his book, Deeper Dating, and is working on cultivating what Ken calls Attractions of Inspiration, as opposed to Attractions of Deprivation. But when she dates nice guys, she’s just not into them. She tries to give them a chance, but finds she’s bored and uninterested. In this mini Love & Life episode, I discuss how we can determine if we’re bored because we’re addicted to dysfunctional dynamics, or if we just haven’t met the right person yet!
Dr. Karin
Website: loveandlifemedia.com
Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/love-and-life-media/support
Mandy struggles with something so many of us can relate to—the guys she doesn’t care for are into her, while the guys she wants don’t seem to be interested. In this mini Love & Life episode, I share the science of flirting from Dr. Duana Welch’s book, Love Factually for Single Parents and Those Dating Them. Learn 6 research-based ways to signal your interest in a guy, while remaining, what Dr. Welch calls, “high status.”
Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/love-and-life-media/support
In this third mini Love & Life episode, I answer Pam’s question about how to know if a guy is manipulating her. She recently went on a first date with a man who led with smarmy and inappropriately suggestive conversation. When she bristled, he asked her if she wasn’t comfortable with her body. He then went on to say that he’d absolutely need to test drive the car before buying. Join us as I discuss my thoughts on how she responded and on such talk in general. Spoiler alert: if you think you’re being manipulated, you probably are.
Dr. Karin
Website: loveandlifemedia.com
Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/love-and-life-media/support
In this second mini Love & Life episode, I answer Theresa’s question about when she should meet her bf’s kids. He’s protective of his children and doesn’t want to introduce them to her too soon (which is great) yet because of this, she doesn’t want him to get into the habit of just crashing at her place—because she wants to be properly courted (which is wise). Join us as I share my thoughts on this dicey topic, made even more sensitive because children are involved.
Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/love-and-life-media/support
In this mini Love & Life episode, I answer Kelly’s question about how she can find a way to support her friends even though they’re making unhealthy decisions in their relationships. I share 3 options for how to love our friends even when we hate some of their choices.
Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/love-and-life-media/support
Human trafficking is an unfathomable and horrific atrocity. We feel so helpless; we don’t know what to do or how to combat it. Thankfully, there are organizations working on the front lines. And, allof us can make an impact by supporting their efforts to save lives. Talitha Baker, chair of the board of Dressember joins me to share how Dressember raises awareness and funds to fight human trafficking. I’ll be pulling together a team and wearing dresses throughout December. I hope people will ask me why, so I can encourage them to support Dressember and its mission to rescue those enslaved by trafficking.
To donate to my team please click here: https://dressember2020.funraise.org/fundraiser/karin-anderson-abrell?fundraiserPrompt=1675387
Dr. Karin
Website: loveandlifemedia.com
Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/love-and-life-media/support
Recently, I asked my newsletter community if anyone wanted to share an encouraging and empowering story on the podcast. Quin Taylor (one of my former students from Chicago State University) answered the call, agreeing to speak about living with a chronic illness. She describes how intentionally focusing on gratitude allows her to maintain a positive, empowered perspective in the midst of daily physical challenges. Quin shares:
· How to move from grieving the life you were “supposed” to live to celebrating the life you’re “purposed” to live!
· How to avoid wallowing in bitterness because, as Quin puts it, we can stay stuck in bitterness but “nothing really changes.”
· Her powerful mantra—“I declare and decree today will be amazing. Amazing things are happening to and for me and I will do amazing things!”
· The freedom of falling in love with your authentic self—even when that entails a chronic illness.
Quin describes herself as a “gratitude enthusiast!” Join us to up your gratitude game this Thanksgiving!
Dr. Karin
Website: loveandlifemedia.com
Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/love-and-life-media/support
According to the Anxiety and Depression Association of America, anxiety disorders affect 40 million adults (18.1% of the population). The ADAA asserts, “anxiety disorders are highly treatable, yet only 36.9% of those suffering receive treatment.” Psychotherapist Linda Ruvalcaba understands anxiety—both from a clinical perspective and from personal experience! She endured anxiety’s terrifying grip after a horribly painful breakup. Anxiety permeated her life—the physical symptoms and intrusive thoughts not only made it difficult for her to focus on personal concerns, they also impaired her ability to work with her therapy clients. She realized avoiding anxiety only reinforced its hold on her. She could no longer run away; she needed to lean into it. Join us to hear how Linda found healing by facing anxiety head on—and as a bonus, she found herself!
Linda Ruvalcaba
Website: https://www.latinxtherapistsactionnetwork.org/linda-ruvalcaba
Dr. Karin
Website: https://loveandlifemedia.com/
Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/love-and-life-media/support
We’ve all been there—we got knocked down and we’re trying our best to recover but we feel stuck. We find it hard to feel happy. We sink into depressed moods. We’ve lost our joy and even worse, we wonder, can I ever get back to my former self? Well, according to neuropsychologist, Dr. Rhonda Freeman, we absolutely can! Join us to learn how to:
· pivot away from ruminating thoughts—which psych research shows are related to depression.
· activate the regions of your brain that will bring you healing and peace post trauma!
· journal in a manner that activates your prefrontal cortex—and why this is imperative.
· get your brain to think rationally again by quieting the limbic system and activating the frontal lobe.
· rewire your brain to get it back to its “pre-trauma” balance.
We say it every week on Love & Life, “Take charge of your thoughts. Take charge of your life!” And now, thanks to Dr. Freeman, we see the neuroscience behind why taking charge of our thoughts is so powerful and does, in fact, rewire our brains—allowing us to take charge of our lives!
Dr. Rhonda Freeman
20% off Dr. Freeman's course "How to Use Neuroscience to Accelerate Recovery" for Love & Life listeners (choose Enroll Now at the bottom of the page) - https://neurosagacity.com/p/narcissistic-abuse/?product_id=2533645&coupon_code=20PERCENTOFFDRKARIN
Free eBook: Seven Steps toward the Path to Healing - https://neuroinstincts.com/lp/
Dr. Karin
Website: http://loveandlifemedia.com/
Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/love-and-life-media/support
We all know we’re supposed to maintain boundaries. We understand they’re healthy—that they help us distinguish distinctions between ourselves and others. But many listeners have asked me, “HOW do I establish boundaries? Every time I try to put one in place I feel guilty!” Clinical psychologist, Dr. Jaime Zuckerman joins me for a deep dive into all things boundaries. We discuss the following:
· How to establish boundaries.
· Managing the pushback from others.
· Dealing with the guilt you’ll likely feel.
· Why boundaries are so difficult to create, but so imperative for healthy functioning.
· The connection between boundaries in our family of origin and boundaries in our adult relationships—including friendships and romantic relationships.
Join us to learn how firm boundaries allow us to level up in all realms of love and life!
Dr. Jaime
Website: https://www.drjaimezuckerman.com/
Dr. Karin
Website: http://www.loveandlifemedia.com/
Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/love-and-life-media/support
This week I cover the questions and topics you want me to address! We discuss the following (and more!):
· How to set boundaries.
· How to manage intrusive thoughts.
· How to cope with your bf’s ex—especially when there are kids involved.
· How to get over heartbreak.
· How to know what’s reasonable and what’s perhaps too picky?
Join me as I share my thoughts on the subjects you care about most!
Dr. Karin
Website: loveandlifemedia.com
Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/love-and-life-media/support
According to Family Systems theorists, our family of origin’s expectations for connectedness and separateness influence—and, at times, may impede—our ability to carve out and cultivate an independent identity and authentic sense of self. Clearly, our family of origin impacts us beyond childhood—in terms of our friendships, work relationships, and certainly, our romantic connections. Mary Beth Somich, LPC joins me to discuss the construct of enmeshment, how we can differentiate from an overly close family system, and why we absolutely need to in order to thrive in love and life!
Mary Beth Somich
Website: yourjourneythrough.com
Free Quiz: Is Your Family Enmeshed?https://view.flodesk.com/pages/5f16de5959b56b0026662110
Dr. Karin
Website: loveandlifemedia.com
Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/love-and-life-media/support
According to psychologist Albert Ellis, “People don’t just get upset. They contribute to their upsetness.” And, specifically, it’s irrational thinking that contributes to our “upsetness.” As the founder of Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy (REBT), Ellis encourages us to identify our irrational beliefs, challenge them, and replace them with rational beliefs. He asserts—and research substantiates—that by doing so, we can greatly reduce negative emotions. Join me to learn another approach from cognitive therapy for taking charge of your thoughts! I share my personal experience with the power of REBT—including a specific time when a hidden irrational belief was making me miserable and how I uncovered it, disputed it, and found my joy again!
Dr. Karin
Website: loveandlifemedia.com
Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/love-and-life-media/support
If you’re single, your love life (or lack thereof) is fair game. Friends, family members, and even random strangers provide “solutions” to your “problem.” Or, they interrogate you, determined to uncover the hidden reason you aren’t coupled up—even if you’re perfectly content sans partner! In this Love & Life bonus episode, Debbi Rice of Single and Amazing, Leslie Kaz of Single Girl Bliss, and I discuss the top 5 asinine comments single women hear. Join us for some single girl commiserating and lots of laughs! We’re here for you!
Leslie Kaz
Website: lesliekaz.com
Debbi Rice
Website: singleandamazing.com
Dr. Karin
Website: loveandlifemedia.com
Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/love-and-life-media/support
It’s National Unmarried and Single Americans Week! To kick it off, I’ve invited Shani Silver, host of A Single Serving podcast, to share how she moved from complaining about dating to championing the single life! According to Shani, “I came out of a hole and I know the way out of the hole. I want to tell other people that it’s possible.” Here are a few more gems of wisdom from my conversation with Shani:
· “Enjoying a single life—not as a consolation, but as ‘on par’ with life in partnership—is entirely possible. I know this because I’m living it.”
· “It is 100% possible to love your single life and want a relationship at the same time. Both of those things can coexist.”
· “I decided that what was meant for me was going to connect with me. And it was not going to be because I was fighting to find it. Because I had fought to find it for a decade and I didn’t. So that method didn’t serve me. Maybe just relaxing and letting go and living life will connect me with who I’m meant to be with anyway.”
Join us for a celebration of empowered single living!
Shani Silver
Website: shanisilver.com
Dr. Karin
Website: loveandlifemedia.com
Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/love-and-life-media/support
When life doesn’t play out as planned, we experience loss—of expectations, hopes, and dreams. And, as with every loss, we grieve. But how do we grieve something we never had in the first place? Christina and Genet of The Radical Stepmoms podcast join me to discuss just that—grieving the life they thought they’d have, while still embracing and cherishing the life they do have. At some point (or many points!) in life, we all find ourselves stepping into roles and realities we didn’t anticipate. Join us to learn strategies for navigating these uncharted waters.
Radical Stepmoms
Website: radicalstepmomspodcast.com
Dr. Karin
Website: loveandlifemedia.com
Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/love-and-life-media/support
I often get asked, “What we should be looking for when dating? Which qualities indicate a person will be a committed, solid, loving partner?” Recently, I came across a framework by psychiatrist Dr. Stephen Marmer describing emotional maturity. As I examined the model, I was struck by how the characteristics of maturity mirror those qualities we need in a romantic partner—if we’re hoping for a lasting, loving, secure connection. Dan joins me to discuss these 5 traits and how we’ve experienced them—and in past relationships, not experienced them! We wrap up the episode answering a listener’s question about how to differentiate between her intuition and inner critic.
Citation: https://www.prageru.com/video/its-time-to-grow-up/
Website: loveandlifemedia.com
Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/love-and-life-media/support
It’s time for another Love & Life Q&A! In this episode, I answer two questions I recently received. One listener asks how she can possibly maintain hope for finding love; she’s over 40 and feeling demoralized and worries she’ll never meet her person. Another listener wonders if she can salvage a relationship that’s gone off course. After seeing a guy for a couple months, she asked the proverbial, “What are we?” question. They argued and now he’s stonewalling her. She asks me, “What can I do to get him back? I really like him!” I wrap up the episode by sharing details on how to join the Love & Life book club and Love & Life support groups I’m rolling out this fall!
Website: loveandlifemedia.com
Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/love-and-life-media/support
We are kicking season 5 off with Dr. Duana Welch to discuss attachment styles and dating!
Have you ever experienced the following?
· You felt an initial spark, but got turned off when he/she came on too strong.
· Someone ghosted you after what you thought was the beginning of a very happy relationship.
· You found yourself bored by someone who is stable and kind.
If so, your attachment style may have played a part!
According to developmental psychologists, the bond you form with your primary caregiver in childhood sets the tone for the way you connect to others in adulthood. Dr. Duana Welch, author of Love Factually: Attachment Style Dating Made Easier, explains the difference between Secure, Anxious, and Avoidant attachment and the pros and cons of each—spoiler alert, there are positives to anxious attachment!—along with how an understanding of our attachment style can help us get the love we desire!
Dr. Duana Welch
Website: lovefactually.co
Dr. Karin
Website: loveandlifemedia.com
Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/love-and-life-media/support
We’ve all heard that journaling can be therapeutic. But how does writing down our thoughts and feelings heal our emotional wounds? In this episode, we explore all this and more with Stacy Brookman of “Life Story Laboratory.” Stacy shares how writing helps us process our experiences, recover from trauma, and take back our power! Stacy explains how we can discover our life’s “theme” and reframe it if it’s not working for us. She encourages us to identify any lies we’re telling ourselves and replace them with the truth—that we’re strong, capable, and tenacious! According to psych research, writing fosters resilience and cultivates confidence. Join us to learn how to implement this powerful practice in your life!
Website: loveandlifemedia.com
Citations:
- https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/figure/10.1080/10503300701691664?scroll=top&needAccess=true
- https://newsroom.ucla.edu/releases/Putting-Feelings-Into-Words-Produces-8047
- https://msutoday.msu.edu/news/2017/for-worriers-expressive-writing-cools-brain-on-stressful-tasks/
Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/love-and-life-media/support
We’re celebrating Love & Life’s 100th episode! And, as a thank you to our Love & Life family, we’ve made this episode all about what you love most! We start by discussing the inspiration behind your three favorite Instagram posts—the mindset shifts that helped me remain hopeful and positive despite multiple heartbreaks over my MANY years of dating. We then break down a powerful approach from cognitive therapy to sustainably level up our emotional well being—even during the most painful and challenging times. I then answer 3 listeners’ questions and announce the Love & Life 100th Episode Celebration Giveaway! And the best part? Everyone’s a winner!
Website: loveandlifemedia.com
Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/love-and-life-media/support
Sunday, July 26, 2020 is the 12th annual National Auntie’s Day—a day for celebrating the special bond between women and their nieces and nephews. It’s an opportunity to highlight the unique and important contribution aunts make to the development of the children in their lives. I’m an aunt and so are many of you, so I’m pleased to welcome the founder of Auntie’s Day and author of Otherhood: Modern Women Finding a New Kind of Happiness, Melanie Notkin, to the program! In our conversation, Melanie and I discuss:
· How women of The Otherhood manage their ongoing and currently unmet desire for marriage and family.
· The question almost every woman of The Otherhood has asked herself, “Should I settle for a ‘good enough’ guy in order to have children?”
· How to handle invasive and insensitive questions/comments about your life e.g. “You must have focused too much on your career!” or “Didn’t you want kids???”
· The prevailing, yet inaccurate, assumption that women of The Otherhood delayed marriage and child bearing.
· Grieving the loss of the life we’d expected, while embracing the joys of the life we have!
Aunties matter! And, despite the fact our lives haven’t played out as planned, we women of The Otherhood, can be assured our nurturing and influence make a profound, positive impact on the children we didn’t create, yet choose to love.
Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/love-and-life-media/support
It’s time for another Love & Life Q&A! The first listener asks, “When the guy I’m seeing seems to ‘get quieter’ than he was before, should I pull back?” Another listener wonders, “Why would a man lie about his feelings?” And finally, we delve into the reality that there’s no such thing as a “conflict free” marriage. In fact, according to research by the Gottman Institute, 69% of problems in a relationship will not be solved. A listener asks me specifically, “How do you and your husband agree to disagree? How do you maintain a healthy relationship yet still disagree with each other?” Dan joins me to share how we’ve navigated conflict and challenges in our marriage.
Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/love-and-life-media/support
If you’ve been brokenhearted—and, most of us have—you know how excruciatingly painful it is. In fact, brain imaging shows us that the same neural systems involved in physical pain are involved in emotional pain i.e. the angst of a broken heart isn’t so dissimilar from the pain of a broken bone. And frankly, many of us would acknowledge that it feels way worse! So here’s some help for the broken-hearted! In this episode, I share the science of heartbreak—spoiler alert: neurologically speaking, you’re essentially addicted to your ex—along with three tangible strategies to help you move past the one who wasn’t right for you, so as to find the one who is!
Sources:
https://divorce.lovetoknow.com/Rates_of_Divorce_for_Adultery_and_Infidelity#:~:text=While%20adultery%20is%20no%20longer,20%2D40%20percent%20of%20divorces.
https://signalscv.com/2019/11/research-how-many-marriages-end-in-divorce-because-of-infidelity/#:~:text=40%25%20of%20adults%20who%20have,are%20currently%20separated%20or%20divorced.&text=In%20contrast%2C%20only%2017%25%20of,to%20no%20longer%20be%20together.&text=Roughly%2050%25%20of%20unfaithful%20partners%20are%20still%20married.
https://www.apa.org/pubs/journals/features/cfp-0000012.pdf
Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/love-and-life-media/support
What would you do if your partner strayed? Would you leave immediately or try to forgive the betrayal and move on? Could trust ever be rebuilt? Would the indiscretion haunt you forever? When vows have been broken, is a relationship ever salvageable? Marriage and family therapist, Jennifer Lehr, works with couples struggling to repair their relationships post infidelity. The good news—restoration is possible. The better news—it takes a lot of work. How is work BETTER news? Because, as Jennifer explains and the research substantiates, in-depth therapeutic work allows many couples to emerge from counseling stronger, more intimately connected, and happier in their marriages. Yes, infidelity can have a silver lining! Join us to learn:
· How to rebuild trust and intimacy after betrayal.
· Strategies for therapy when one partner wants to work on the relationship and the other doesn't.
· The Two-Person System model and why it’s important in relationships and marriage.
· Red flags and yellow flags to note when dating.
· How to educate yourself on what will destroy your relationship and how to prevent those behaviors/attitudes from taking over your relationship.
· The simple, but profound, recipe for a happy marriage.
· The most important element therapists provide their clients.
Jennifer shares wisdom and clinical examples from her 20 years of helping couples find hope and forgiveness, in order to forge a stronger, more intimate and satisfying relationship!
Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/love-and-life-media/support
A few years ago, I met a young woman in her late twenties. As we began chatting, she shared she was going through a divorce. Her ex was addicted to OxyContin—a prescription pain medication. Fast forward a few years, and I learned some startling and terrifying facts—that in 2014, my home state of Ohio led the nation in deaths from heroin overdoses and in 2016, it earned this same distinction from opioid overdoses. I had no idea what was going on, but I suspected that diagnostic inflation and Big Pharma played a role. (For more on why I came to this conclusion, please listen to my interview with Dr. Allen Frances in episode 22). So, when I came across Sam Quinones’ book, Dreamland: The True Tale of America's Opiate Epidemic, I knew I wanted to invite him to the program to help us understand how the Heartland became America’s hotspot of heroin and opioid addiction. In our conversation, Sam describes:
· The “perfect storm” that moved heroin from the fringe to the suburbs.
· How a letter to the New England Journal of Medicine morphed into a “landmark study” which changed the way medical professionals viewed opioids, addiction, and pain management.
· The connection between prescription pads and black tar heroin.
· How the fraying social fabric and breakdown of communities relate to the rise in drug addiction.
· The striking similarities in the marketing strategies of Big Pharma and black tar heroin drug traffickers.
Join us as author Sam Quinones explains this tragic rise of prescription opioid abuse and heroin addiction. If you’re like me, you’ve wondered how this happened—Sam provides answers and solutions.
Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/love-and-life-media/support
One topic I haven’t covered extensively is sex. So, when life coach Laurie Gerber reached out requesting to appear on the show to share her slightly controversial philosophy about sex, I figured it was high time we delve into this important element of love and life! Laurie specializes in marriage and relationship coaching and has appeared on Dr. Phil, Dr. Oz, and the TODAY show. Join us to learn:
· Her philosophy on sex which rekindled the spark in her 20+ year marriage.
· How Laurie’s feminist ideology impacted her sex life.
· The mantras that eroded the romance in her marriage.
· Lies we tell ourselves which impede our goals and dreams.
· Questions to ask yourself when you’re dating with purpose.
· The critical difference between dating expectations and standards.
No matter what your relationship status—single, dating exclusively, or married—Laurie’s candid account and wise counsel will inform and inspire you!
Laurie's special offer for Love & Life listeners:
Get Started with your LOVE&LIFE75 coupon at: https://bit.ly/0520LL-iu
Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/love-and-life-media/support
I get a LOT of questions about how to recover from a relationship with a narcissist. So this topic is one I’ve wanted to address for quite a while. I’m so pleased to welcome psychologist Dr. Annie Kaszina to the program to share not only her professional expertise, but also her personal journey of marrying and then divorcing a narcissist. Dr. Kaszina delves into:
· How strong, independent, accomplished women fall in love with and stay with narcs.
· The red flags narcissists wave—despite their best efforts to dupe you!
· Dr. Annie’s suggestion for discovering if the person you’re dating has narcissistic tendencies.
· Why pacing yourself in the early days of a relationship is imperative!
· The power of self-knowledge as it relates to narcs.
· How to take back control after being with a narcissist.
· Co-parenting when your ex is a narcissist.
· The identity some women take on when they’ve been with a narc.
In this episode, as in her book, Do You Choose Your Dog More Carefully Than Your Husband? Dr. Kaszina assures us that we CAN rebuild our lives in the aftermath of narcissistic abuse and we CAN move forward empowered, emboldened, and equipped to select a husband as carefully as we’d pick a pup!
Get a free chapter of Dr. Annie’s book here: https://recoverfromemotionalabuse.com/lp-dog
Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/love-and-life-media/support
Wouldn’t it be great if science could give us the straight facts on dating? Well actually, it does! When on the dating scene herself, psychologist Dr. Duana Welch, looked to psych research for guidance. She shares all she learned in her blog, Love Science, and in her Love Factually book series. Join us as we discuss:
· Why men get so excited early in a relationship, but often lose interest just as quickly.
· The different ways men and women experience situationships.
· How sex causes you to bond—even when it’s just friends with benefits.
· How to figure out if you’re too picky!
· A powerful strategy if you’ve lost hope in love.
· Why women love a man with a plan (and what this means for us when dating!)
· What happens when men lose interest—spoiler alert, even they don’t know why!
· How to present yourself as a “high status” woman—and why this is imperative when dating (also, it’s NOT about being arrogant or snooty!)
· The different “mating psychology” of men vs. women.
· The brain chemistry of a man as he’s falling in love.
Learn how to “love smarter, not harder” by loving FACTUALLY!
Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/love-and-life-media/support
We all want a great marriage, but how do we cultivate and maintain an extraordinary connection in the midst of life’s stressors and challenges? For over 30 years, Dr. Terri Orbuch has researched the habits and practices of happy couples (and unhappy ones) in her landmark National Institutes of Health (NIH) study. She joins me to discuss her book, 5 Simple Steps to Take Your Marriage from Good to Great, in which she shares simple, practical strategies from her longitudinal study including:
- How to maintain realistic expectations without settling.
- The no. 1 problem in marriages.
- How happy couples communicate vs. unhappy couples.
- The need men have which, when met, predicts they’ll be happy and content in their marriage—and no, we’re not talking about sex!
- What factors make for the strongest marriages.
- How to “trick your brain” to reignite the spark in your marriage.
- The no. 1 topic daters should not discuss on dates!
I put it this way on Instagram, “Marriage is great, but only if it’s a great marriage!” Join us to learn research-based tools and techniques to level up your marriage/relationship!
Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/love-and-life-media/support
We’re kicking off Season 4 with a sneak peek into the audio version of my book, Single is the New Black: Don’t Wear White ‘til it’s Right, which launches in just a few weeks! You’re the first to hear it! I also discuss my inspiration for writing the book i.e. the incessant single shaming comments I received, irrational explanations for my single status, and my frustration with the standard dating/relationship self-help messages. I conclude the episode with a Love Smarter, Not Harder Q&A: In the beginning of a relationship, when we’re just getting to know each other, is it rigid and unreasonable to expect a guy to call when he says he will?
Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/love-and-life-media/support
In this week’s episode, I’m super excited to share a BIG Love & Life announcement! Join me to be the first to hear the news! I also answer two listeners’ questions. “Ella” asks, “My boyfriend is from Venezuela and lives here under political asylum. We definitely experience some challenges due to our different cultural backgrounds. Also, he wants children and I don’t. I care for him deeply, but I’m not sure if I’m ‘in love.’” Given these realities, “Ella” wonders if their relationship can go the distance. The second question involves a man “Ginny” met on Plenty of Fish. After texting and calling for a while, he mentioned he’s been out of work due to Covid and asked her if she might be able to support him a bit. He’s from Norway so he doesn’t have family here to help him. She’s worried he might be out to take advantage of her—if he’s really who he says he is in the first place!
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Growing up I used to ask my mom, “How will I know when I’ve met the right guy?” She replied with the answer so many of us heard, “You’ll just know.” But HOW do we “just know”? Will our hearts lead us in the right direction? What if our heart says, “Yes” but our head says, “No!” And, considering I almost married the wrong person (I called off my first engagement 2 months before the wedding #runawaybride), I apparently didn’t “just know.” That being said, I now have a unique vantage point—having been engaged to the wrong person and then engaged to the right one! To further explore this question, Dan joins me to discuss how we knew we were right for each other. We also examine psychologist Dr. Robert Sternberg’s Triangle Theory of Love which provides the most comprehensive model of what Sternberg calls “Consummate Love” and what others call “the total package.” We wrap up the program answering a listener’s question about being ghosted by her boyfriend. Should she reach out? They’d had “the talk” about being exclusive! Isn’t she owed an explanation?
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We’re all navigating uncharted waters—trying to stay physically safe and emotionally sound in the midst of a global pandemic. Psychotherapist Kate Lambie, LCPC, joins me to unpack six simple strategies for managing our mindset and maintaining our psychological wellbeing during Covid-19. We discuss 6 “Gs” (grounded in psych research and psychotherapeutic techniques) we can implement today to think and feel better NOW despite the uncertainty of these unprecedented circumstances! At the end of the program, I answer a listener’s question about dating standards—should they remain the same during this Coronavirus pandemic?
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Most characteristics of depression—sadness, feelings of worthlessness, anhedonia—though undesirable, are fairly straightforward. But according to clinical psychologist, Dr. Margaret Robinson Rutherford, sometimes depression hides. In her book, Perfectly Hidden Depression: How to Break Free from the Perfectionism that Masks Your Depression, Dr. Rutherford describes the underlying depression beneath many people’s perfectionism. According to Dr. Rutherford, deep-seated depressive symptoms such as shame and worthlessness often fuel and sustain the drive for perfection. Those with Perfectly Hidden Depression (PHD) feel many things—pressure, worry, self-reproach—but they don’t feel depressed. PHD isn’t obvious—to them or anyone around them—which is why it’s perfectly hidden. Join us to better understand Perfectly Hidden Depression, bring it to light, and find healing.
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It’s time for another Love & Life Q&A!
This week I address the following questions:
1. “Hannah” met a guy about 2 months ago. Everything was going great and then all of a sudden, he stopped calling her every night and he texted less frequently. Finally, she called him and their conversation felt very awkward. Since then, he hasn’t contacted her and he’s not active on social media. Now she wonders what happened and if she should call one more time to see if he’s okay.
2. “Tanya” was dating her bf for 7 months. He recently broke up with her because he felt he needed to focus on himself—he has Bipolar with mixed features and he now suspects he may have PTSD. Tanya has Generalized Anxiety Disorder and due to the breakup, she can’t eat or sleep, and has been feeling increased anxiety. Her psychiatrist prescribed a mood stabilizer and has now diagnosed her with ADD and Bipolar II. Two things concerned her about the Bipolar diagnosis—1) she’d watched an IGTV in which I discussed Bipolar II and diagnostic inflation and 2) her sister’s neurosurgeon had also mentioned that Bipolar II is often misdiagnosed. She was curious if I had any additional thoughts or suggestions.
3. “Michelle” wants to know how to make things work with her bf. He was diagnosed with depression and prescribed anti-depressants in early adulthood, but he doesn’t take any medication now. He’s on disability and she worries he’s lost his purpose and enthusiasm for life. He’s emotionally detached from her, isn’t affectionate, and never tells her he loves her—all of which makes her feel insecure. He won’t even hug her—she has to force his arms around her. She’s mentioned maybe they should part ways, but when she brings up this topic, he doesn’t want to talk about it. She’s not sure what to do.
Join us to explore these complex concerns and submit your question via my website: loveandlifemedia.com.
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We’re living in an unpredictable and unprecedented time—in the midst of a global pandemic. No one knows what to think, or what to feel, or what to do. But we can navigate these uncharted waters by managing our mindset. To help us do so, I’ve invited mindset coach, Leisse Wilcox to the program. Leisse and I discuss:
How to make radical shifts in your mindset and life—even during these chaotic times!
Why we need to “feel it” to “heal it.”
Challenges and the opportunities they hold!
Why our mind wants us to stay negative—and how to tackle this.
The power of “zooming out.”
How anxiety and depression serve to protect us (despite the fact they’re undesirable).
Masculine and feminine energy as they relate to sheltering in place.
Tangible strategies for saving your marriage during this time—should it need saving.
Bonus content: How to talk to our kids about the pandemic (wisdom from a former Montessori teacher
Leisse puts it this way, “Whenever you feel you don’t have control of anything, remind yourself, ‘I actually always have control of one thing and one thing alone, how I’m choosing to respond.’” Join us to take charge of your mindset, which takes charge of everything else!
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We’ve entered an unprecedented era—one for which none of us could have been prepared. Surging Covid-19 diagnoses and mandated social distancing heighten fear, stoke anxiety, and exacerbate loneliness and isolation. In our “new normal” we feel helpless—frankly, no one knows just what to do. So we do what we can, by sharing support in any way we’re able. Today on Love & Life, I highlight past episodes with supportive content for tackling anxiety and negative thinking. In the coming weeks, I’ll be posting additional podcast episodes featuring anxiety and mindset experts to help us manage the emotional vicissitudes of this uncertain time. Please join me on Instagram at @dr.karin where I’m hosting a weekly “Girls Night In” each Friday and additional Insta Lives to help us remain connected in the midst of social distancing. I’m here for you. Keep the faith. We’re all in this together.
Music provided by HearWeGo
Artist: Serein
Title: Reconcile
Listen on YouTube: https://youtu.be/9WrfveQT2DY
Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/love-and-life-media/support
What can Netflix’s Love is Blind teach us about our own relationships? SO much! In this final Love is Blind bonus episode, UK Dating Coach of the Year, Ané Auret, and I share the lessons we can all learn by analyzing the couples’ dynamics. We delve into:
- Why Jessica saw Mark’s emotional availability as a “red flag.”
- How sabotaging relationships—as several couples did—can be viewed as self-protection.
- Why our heartaches, though painful, are never wasted!
- The importance of feeling emotionally safe in our relationships—and how the lack thereof fueled - - Giannina and Damian’s fight on the boat in Cancun.
- Is love at first sight possible? Or, as with Lauren and Cameron, love before first sight?
- Why timing is everything.
So many of us resonate with Love is Blind and see ourselves in the couples and their struggles. It’s an underlying theme of the show—and a truism of all relationships—we must embark upon self-understanding and introspection so as to enjoy healthy, fulfilling love!
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According to the 2018 U.S. Census Bureau, 19.5 million children (more than 1 in 4) live without a father in the home. These children are 47% more likely to grow up in poverty. Sadly, in addition to financial hardships, fatherless children suffer socially, emotionally and academically. Conversely, psych research demonstrates the myriad benefits of a consistent and close father/child relationship—boys evidence fewer behavior problems and girls are less likely to engage in risky sexual behavior. Clearly, dads matter! To further explore the importance of fathers—both in the lives of their children and for society at large—I invited Emily Hibard, writer, director, and producer of The Honor Project documentary, to the program. In our conversation, we cover:
- The inspiration for a documentary about good guys being great dads!
- What Emily has noted when working with women in the sex industry as it pertains to their relationships with their fathers.
- The reality that honoring fathers does NOT take away from mothers.
- Men and masculinity (spoiler alert: Many are scared to talk about it!)
- The different ways fathers show love.
- How a man’s definition of masculinity and strength changes as he becomes a husband and father.
- The reservations many men feel when stepping into fatherhood—especially if their fathers weren't around when they were young.
- The importance of forgiveness—forgiving our father for any “father wound” we may have experienced.
Fathers and fatherhood impact us all throughout our lifetimes. Join Emily and I as we discuss the complexities of fatherhood and honor the good guys doing a great job of it! (For part 1 of the Dads Matter series, please check out episode 24, “Dads Matter: The Father Effect with John Finch.”)
Citations:
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5007216/
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-long-reach-childhood/201106/the-importance-fathers
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After 21 years of dating, serial monogamy, breakups, and periods of feeling miserably alone, Leslie Kaz was over it! Tired of what she calls “The Endless Search” for a man, Leslie decided to take a 6 month break from dating. During those 6 months, Leslie completely redefined herself and her life—so much so, that she abandoned “The Endless Search” and stepped into a brand new way of living! She shares her philosophy in her book, Single Girl Bliss: How to Stop Feeling Alone and Start Feeling Alive. In our conversation, Leslie and I talk about:
· The lies we tell ourselves that make us miserable—and how to tackle them!
· What it means to be alone—and how to manage it emotionally.
· How to choose a partner (should you decide to choose one) from a position of strength!
· What saved her in her darkest hour (I promise, you’ll never guess what it was!)
· The power of how we present ourselves—and our single life—to others.
· How to create new, empowering—and TRUE—beliefs about being single.
When I came across Leslie’s work and read her book, I knew she was Love & Life material! Join us to hear how Leslie lives blissfully single, and learn how you can, too!
Dr. Karin’s Website: www.loveandlifemedia.com
Leslie’s Website: www.lesliekaz.com/
Leslie’s Book: https://www.amazon.com/dp/1734277807/ref=sr_1_1?keywords=single+girl+bliss&qid=1574356446&s=books&sr=1-1
Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/love-and-life-media/support
If you’re interested in dating, relationships, love, and marriage you’re likely caught up in the Love is Blind hype! So am I! In part 2 of my response to the series, Kate Lambie, LCPC, provides a psychotherapist’s perspective on the experiment and the couples’ relationships. Join us as we dish on:
· How connecting in the pods amplified their vulnerability—in this age of fast paced swiping, maybe we should all start dating in pods!
· Leaving the pods engaged—the impact of moving so quickly!
· Kelly’s dilemma: She wanted to fall for Kenny, but ultimately couldn’t. How do we know if we’re emotionally unavailable to partners who are good for us?
· Mark’s dilemma: When to fight for a relationship, and when to give your partner a little space—what therapists call Approach/Avoidance dynamics.
· Giannina’s dilemma: Four things we must NOT do if we hope our relationship will go the distance! Kate shares research from psychologists John and Julie Gottman that can help ALL of us protect our healthy relationships while remaining aware of when we might need to exit an unhealthy one!
Please join us and let us know your thoughts on the program and our response to it! You can find me on Instagram @dr.karin!
Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/love-and-life-media/support
The hottest new Netflix series, Love is Blind, touches on a myriad of Love & Life themes i.e. attraction, intimacy, dating, relationships, engagement, and marriage. Obviously, I had to weigh in! What does psych research have to say about this “experiment?” Is it actually possible to fall in love without laying eyes on each other? Even if a bond forms, will it survive in the real world?
My husband, Dan, joins me (because despite his initial skepticism, I got him hooked on the series, too) to hash out these questions and delve into the following:
· Gender differences and attraction.
· The role of scent in attraction—specifically how scent was absent when participants were in the pods!
· How much is too much? Should Carlton have told Diamond about his past? We discuss what we share in our marriage (and what we don’t!) about our past.
Every once in a while, a TV show captures worldwide attention AND provides compelling material for discussing the psychology of dating, love, and marriage. With SO much goodness to unpack, this episode will be the first in a Love & Life Love is Blind series. Please join us and join in the conversation on Instagram. I’m at @dr.karin!
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During Lent, many people give up things to create space for contemplation, prayer, or to break a bad habit. One year, Kacie Main decided to give up men! Why? As she explains in her book, I Gave Up Men for Lent, “By most definitions, I lived a social, fulfilling life. I had a good job, great friends, and a solid family. Aside from the 30-something-and-single combination, my life was picture perfect. But that was just a filter, like how the right Instagram filter can hide the circles under your eyes. The unfiltered me was restless, uninspired, uncomfortable. Something had to change—a drunken make-out with my not-single good friend was the straw that broke the camel’s back. So, I gave up men for Lent—a 40 day cleanse in an attempt to figure out why I felt unhappy in my happy life.”
Kacie and I discuss how to:
· Discover yourself apart from your relationships.
· Handle shame and regret.
· Make choices for yourself—even when your family pushes back i.e. what developmental psychologists call “individuate” from your family of origin.
· Manage the dueling messages women receive—i.e. Be strong and independent! But also, snag a husband and have babies!
In giving up men for Lent, Kacie created space for introspection, reflection, and clear-headed decision-making. Join us to hear her empowering story and learn how you, too, can gain clarity, insight, and self-direction.
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Every couple quarrels from time to time. But according to psychiatrists Dr. Phillip Lee and Dr. Diane Rudolph, arguments can become addictive! In their book, Argument Addiction: Even When You Win, You Lose, Dr. Lee and Dr. Rudolph explain how with some couples, heated conflicts, (just as addictions) serve to “make life more tolerable” by distancing them from deep wounds of rejection, frustration, and despair. Yet, as with any addiction, these ultimately prove horribly destructive. But, there is hope! Join us as Dr. Lee shares wisdom from his 30 years as co-head of Marital Therapy at Weill Cornell Medical Center. Learn the subtext beneath every marital spat along with hacks for how to readily dismantle damaging communication patterns—even if these dynamics have been in place for years!
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We hear it all the time, “If you don’t love yourself, you’ll never be able to truly love anyone else.” Of course, it’s true. But where’s the owner’s manual for self love? How do we love ourselves when we don’t always feel particularly lovable? Or when the abuse and trauma we endured in childhood causes us to feel unworthy? Or when we’ve been through so much pain and heartache, our sense of self feels obliterated? Author and dating coach, Jonathon Aslay, believes the number one emotional health issue facing singles today is a deep lack of self worth and self love. Join us as Jonathon shares practical strategies for developing authentic self love (and a deeper love for others!) from his book What the Heck is Self Love, Anyway?
Dr. Karin’s Website: http://www.loveandlifemedia.com/
Jonathon’s Website: http://www.jonathonaslay.com/
What the Heck is Self Love, Anyway?: https://www.amazon.com/What-Self-Love-Anyway-Jonathon-Aslay/dp/1092498397
Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/love-and-life-media/support
Words are powerful. Sometimes, it’s that one phrase, that bit of encouragement, or that motivational quote—reminding us we CAN make it through the dark days and we CAN find our joy again! Because there will be dark days. They’re part of life; we can’t avoid pain, but we can dig deep. We can persevere! As Tracey Janowitz puts it, “Life is sweaty. Work it out.” Tracey created her apparel line, SweatySwag, in the wake of grief and struggles. In this third segment of our Women Making it Happen in Their Careers series, hear how Tracey took her pain and turned it into an inspiring brand encouraging women to believe in themselves, know their worth, and remember that when life gets sweaty, they can work it out!
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We say it every week on Love & Life, “Take charge of your thoughts, take charge of your life!” And, we touch on strategies for doing so in almost every episode. But this week, I wanted to devote the entire conversation to negative thoughts—and what we can do about them! Psychotherapist Kate Lambie, LCPC, joins me to share therapeutic techniques from ACT (Acceptance and Commitment Therapy). Join us to learn the counterintuitive process of accepting negative thoughts in order to move through them!
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Recently a listener asked me, “What if subconscious beliefs are affecting my love life and I don’t even know it?” Great question! Our beliefs—even those we’re unaware of—absolutely impact our relationships in profound ways. To explore this topic in depth—and to examine how beliefs affect couples, too—I’ve invited marriage therapist, Elliott Anderson, M.A. (aka my brother), to share what he’s learned from 30 years of working with couples.
Join us to delve into:
· How our negative beliefs about relationships can inadvertently manifest exactly what we fear!
· The power in identifying the meaning beneath beliefs, and how to reframe this meaning in a positive direction.
· The importance of examining beliefs passed down from our family of origin—and how our single adult years facilitate this process.
· Why we MUST keep our standards high in dating and in marriage!
· What to do if we don’t truly believe we’re worthy of love.
· How a therapist’s belief in a couple’s potential provides hope and emboldens their relationship.
When it comes to beliefs, what we don’t know CAN hurt us! But through introspection—and therapy when needed—we can uncover subconscious beliefs, challenge them if necessary, and choose ones that best serve us in love and life!
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Happiness—it’s about doing all the fantastic, fulfilling, fabulous things, right? Or maybe, it’s about NOT doing all the fantastic, fulfilling, fabulous things! As a thirtysomething writer and podcast host living in Manhattan, Jacqueline Raposo had fantastic friends, a fulfilling career, and she lived in a most fabulous city. And sure, she felt happy-ish, but something was amiss. In a counterintuitive move, Jacqueline decided her malaise might best be addressed by eliminating some of the things. Throughout the next year, she removed elements from her life for designated periods of time e.g. social media, sugar, shopping, negative thoughts, waste. What started as a personal quest for clarity morphed into a book, The Me Without: A Year Exploring Habit, Healing and Happiness. Join us to hear what Jacqueline learned by living without!
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It’s easy to get discouraged if we’re single and we don’t want to be. We worry we’re wasting time—time we could be building into a fantastic marriage. But science shows we can actually work on our future marriage while we’re still single! Join Dan and me as we share psych research from Tara Parker Pope’s book, For Better: How the Surprising Science of Happy Couples Can Help Your Marriage Succeed. We dish on the following research-based strategies:
· How keeping your standards high when you’re single sets you up for a stellar marriage!
· Why communication is not necessarily the key.
· Habits—establishing good ones and avoiding bad ones.
· Sex, sex, and more sex.
· The importance of creating excitement.
· How the emotional work you do as a single adult prepares you to be a better, more loving spouse once you do get married.
Even if you’re single for much longer than you hoped to be (as I was), know that no experience is ever wasted! Take a listen to learn tangible steps you can take today to build a solid foundation for your future marriage!
Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/love-and-life-media/support
www.loveandlifemedia.com
If you’ve been on the dating scene for long enough, you’ve definitely heard this one, ”It’s not you, it’s me.” Maybe it was the explanation he gave when he broke up with you. Or perhaps it’s the reason she says she can’t commit. Either way, it’s confusing and unsatisfying—of course it’s not you! You did nothing wrong! And also, you’re awesome! Then again, part of you worries that maybe you did mess things up. Is it possible you said or did something to ruin the relationship? Well, yes and no. . . Join me to learn how our best intentions often work against us and actually increase the likelihood of us hearing, “It’s not you, it’s me.” I also examine psych research which reveals the one thing we should NEVER do if we hope to keep a relationship moving forward.
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In her early twenties, Liz Forkin Bohannon identified an “integrity gap” between what she claimed she cared about—issues facing women living in extreme poverty—and how she conducted her daily life. So, she quit her job and bought a one-way ticket to Uganda. Fast forward to 2019, Liz is the CEO of Sseko Designs, a fair-trade, fair-wage fashion brand employing and empowering women in Uganda and the U.S.! In this segment of our Women Making it Happen in Their Careers series, you’ll hear how Liz’s “beginners pluck” helped her “actively co-create the world she wanted to live in” and how YOU can support Sseko’s mission! Spoiler alert: supporting Sseko’s missions involves shopping for gorgeous bags, jewelry, and shoes—what a fantastic way to help empower women! P.S. In our conversation, Liz and I realized we’re reading the same book at the moment so we meandered into a few psychological and sociological topics just for fun e.g. how comparing ourselves to others objectifies them, why risk taking is essential for building self-esteem, and how an inadvertent indoctrination of cognitive distortions is related to the rise in depression and anxiety in the U.S.
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Sports anchor Laura Behnke had it all—high-powered career in NYC, fantastic friends, and amazing travels. The one thing she didn’t have? A husband. In fact, at 35 Laura had never been in a long-term relationship. And everyone wanted to know why. How could a bright, beautiful, successful woman like her be single? Over the years, Laura experienced her fair share of “single shaming” and frankly, she still experiences it, even though she’s now happily married—which is why Laura created her platform, Life Actually and its slogan, #OwnYourTimeline!
Join us to discuss:
Ways to deal with invasive questions about your love life—or lack thereof.
How to reframe your experiences to take charge of your thoughts!
Being a strong, independent woman who still wants a husband and kids.
How Laura integrated what she learned in therapy to embrace her “life actually!”
As Joseph Campbell put it, “We must be willing to let go of the life we’ve planned, so as to have the life that’s waiting for us.” Laura did exactly this and she’s here to help you do the same!
Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/love-and-life-media/support
It’s definitely complicated in today’s dating scene—can we learn to date smarter, not harder? Of course, we can! In this Q&A episode, I respond to 3 questions from listeners striving to navigate the disorienting and often demoralizing dating landscape:
1. “Danielle” wants to know if she should go on a second date if she’s not feeling sparks during the first date.
2. “Sarah” wonders if after 5 ½ years of dating “Chris” on and off, should she tell him her true feelings? And furthermore, is a legitimate, committed relationship with him even possible after so much back and forth?
3. “Lily” and her ex-boyfriend, “John,” have remained friends for years. He visits (from overseas) once or twice a year and financially supports her and her children (although they aren’t his). John is in love with Lily and though Lily loves him as a friend and appreciates his years of commitment to her and her kids, she doesn’t have romantic feelings for him. Then again, he’s such a good guy, she wishes she could fall for him and wonders if there’s a psychological block that keeps her from cultivating romantic feelings with a man who loves her so much as is deeply committed to her.
I give in-depth responses to these in-depth questions—and Dan provides a male perspective for question 2! Join us to learn how to date smarter, not harder!
Music
Track Name: 'Good Day'
Music By: Low Frequency Music @ https://soundcloud.com/user-551516820
License for commercial use: Creative Commons Attribution 3.0 Unported "Share Alike" (CC BY-SA 3.0) License.
Track Name: "Time Flies"
Music By: "KaizanBlu"
Licence: Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike 4.0 International (CC BY-SA 4.0)
Track Name: 'Opportunity'
Music By: Low Frequency Music @ https://soundcloud.com/user-551516820
License for commercial use: Creative Commons Attribution 3.0 Unported "Share Alike" (CC BY-SA 3.0) License.
Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/love-and-life-media/support
When a relationship breaks down, we want answers—especially when things end abruptly or we get ghosted. We feel hurt and confused, and we hope getting “closure” will somehow help us process our grief and move on. But will it? And perhaps the question most central to this conversation—is closure actually a thing? In this episode I delve into the concept of closure, addressing these questions and sharing two circumstances from my dating history—one time when I was looking for closure, but didn’t get it; and another instance when my ex asked me for closure, but I struggled to provide it. Join me for a deep dive into closure, as we examine why it’s so hard to get—and sometimes even harder to give.
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Strong, independent adults in our twenties, thirties, forties (and beyond!) sometimes still feel pressure from our families—pressure to conform to family expectations, pressure to be at a certain stage of our lives, pressure to make choices consistent with our family’s values. Moreover, establishing a distinct identity within the context of our families often proves even more challenging for adult children from traditional upbringings and/or members of “third cultures.” Life coach Varsha Mathur shares her experiences with dating, marriage, and divorce as a “third culture” American woman of South Asian descent.
Join us to learn:
· How to assert yourself within your family in a psychologically healthy manner.
· Why individuation is typically more difficult for members of a “third culture.”
· The pervasive fear inherent to the individuation process—for both parents and adult children.
· How to identify and manage covert “family rules.”
· The difference between following your heart and trusting your gut.
· When to open the lines of communication with your family and when to recognize you don’t owe anyone any explanations.
· How to take back your power and agency.
· How I used Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy on myself to take charge of my thoughts (and my life) after calling off my wedding!
Varsha and I explore the challenges of individuating from family of origin—challenges that, for most of us, persist to some degree throughout adulthood—and provide strategies for how to remain close to, while also independent from, our families in adulthood.
Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/love-and-life-media/support
Have you ever admired someone’s career and thought, “How did she do it? How did she make it happen?” That’s what I wondered when I met Showbiz Shelly, Chicago’s go-to entertainment expert. I always wondered how Shelly made a splash in this crowded media landscape, so when I started my occasional series about women making it happen in their careers, I knew I wanted Shelly to appear as one of the first guests. Join us to learn how Shelly moved from intern (passing out key chains and merch at neighborhood festivals) to midday host on Chicago’s hottest radio station! Hear how she pushed through shyness and anxiety to interview actors, musicians, and sports stars such as Jennifer Lopez, Justin Bieber, Angelina Jolie, Michael Jordan, and John Travolta. Be inspired by Shelly’s drive to make it happen and learn how you can make it happen in your career, too!
Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/love-and-life-media/support
Dating is awkward and anxiety provoking—no question. So, if you’re dating with anxiety, it’s EXTRA awkward! Psychotherapist Alison Seponara, AKA “The Anxiety Healer” on Instagram, knows this all too well. On her Insta platform, Alison shares powerful cognitive behavioral techniques for managing anxiety, and just recently she’s started opening up to her over 45,000 followers about her pursuit of love and the role anxiety plays in this process. Join us to discuss:
- Why the typical first date advice of “just be yourself” doesn’t work for those with anxiety.
- How “inner child work” greatly alleviates dating anxiety.
- Why taking time to visualize yourself with the love you’re looking for is a GREAT idea—and could even rewire your brain!
- How your single years can be a gift to yourself and your future partner!
- Why the cliché of “you have to love yourself first” is wonderful in theory, but simply doesn’t cut it.
Hear Alison’s love journey and learn tangible, manageable strategies for tackling the dating scene AND overcoming anxiety!
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Clinical psychologist Steven C. Hayes suffered from panic disorder. He tried all the therapeutic techniques he’d learned in his training and had employed with clients. But the attacks persisted.
So, Dr. Hayes created his own therapeutic orientation—Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT). Dr. Hayes describes how through ACT we can resonate in the fullness of who we are and turn toward what brings us meaning and purpose in life!
Join us to discuss:
- How to manage our inner critic—what Dr. Hayes calls, “The Dictator.”
- Our desperate need to belong and the ways we often self-sabotage in our efforts to connect with others.
- Why a victim mentality feels vindicating, yet prevents us from getting anything we truly want!
- How “defusing” from our thoughts empowers us!
- Why our “problem solving mind” can wreak havoc on our emotional state.
- Psychological flexibility and why it makes all the difference!
- How we can more effortlessly live in alignment with our chosen values.
Learn ACT therapeutic techniques you can integrate TODAY to reduce anxiety, increase your mood, and embrace the fullness of life’s experiences!
Music by https://soundcloud.com/prime
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Stepfamilies are the “new normal.” In fact, 50% of American kids will have a stepparent at some point in their lives (Health Research Funding, 2015). But, according to the Stepfamily Foundation, 75% of stepfamilies complain of “not having access to resources as a stepfamily.” For this reason, Kendall Rose wrote The Stepmoms Club: How to Be a Stepmom Without Losing Your Money, Your Mind, and Your Marriage. Kendall shares both her personal experience as a single woman who married a man with kids and the collective wisdom of the members of The Stepmoms Club. Join us as we discuss:
- The imperative step you MUST take before marrying a man with children—and if you’re already married, do this immediately!
- The “Stepmom Vortex” and how to avoid getting sucked into it!
- Which blended family elements you can control and which you can’t.
- Combatting the “evil stepmother” stereotype.
- The infuriating Disneyland Dad Syndrome—why he does it and how to handle it.
- The optimal way to deal with his difficult ex.
- Why hitting the wall may be the BEST thing to happen to you and your family!
- The unexpected blessings of a blended family.
Learn from those who’ve been there—avoid the mistakes they made and find comfort in the camaraderie of your fellow stepmom sisters!
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I’m so excited to kick off season two with Ken Page, LCSW, the author of my new all-time favorite dating book, Deeper Dating! Ken’s wisdom and teachings will transform your approach to dating, love, and most importantly—your relationship with yourself! Join us to learn:
- Why you don’t need to figure out the origin of your fear of intimacy or abandonment in order to find true love.
- The question you must ask yourself when dating and, how it leads you to love—and heals your soul in the process.
- How to stop being attracted to people who aren’t good for you and start being attracted to people who are!
- The essential quality your future partner must have!
- How to break your fear of rejection once and for all!
- Why safe, loving, good-for-us people can scare us.
- The greatest saboteur of healthy new love!
- How examining your prior, unhealthy relationships help you identify red flags to examine.
- How to excise 70% of future relationship-related pain!
Ken asserts your search for love is one of the most important, if not the most important, missions of your life! Be inspired by his passion and learn substantive strategies for deeper, more rewarding dating!
Music: https://soundcloud.com/prime
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It’s National Unmarried and Single Americans Week and I’ve got you covered with plenty of Love & Life episodes devoted to helping you stay happy, hopeful, and positive despite the frustrations and challenges of today’s dating scene. Learn how to deal with “single shaming” and discover the “date-onomics” which impact the dating landscape and your love life! You’ll feel encouraged and empowered as you discover strategies for how to thrive—not just survive—while living la vida solo. I wrap up the episode with a sneak peek into Season 2 of Love & Life. There’s so much good stuff ahead. Stay tuned!
good morning by Amine Maxwell https://soundcloud.com/aminemaxwell
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As parents, can we encourage excellence without pressuring kids to be perfect? Dr. Jeffrey S. Reber, author of The Paradox of Perfection: How Embracing Our Imperfection Perfects, examines the specific concerns parents face as we help children develop determination and drive while protecting them from the pitfalls of perfectionism and the language of flawlessness. We also discuss parenting in the age of “mommy shaming” and how to avoid passing on our own struggle with perfectionism to our children. Dr. Reber’s book provides parents with support as they wrestle with perfectionistic tendencies—both their children’s and their own!
Music from Lakey Inspired https://soundcloud.com/lakeyinspired/the-process
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We all want to “live our best life,” but too often our drive toward excellence morphs into a quest for the impossible—perfection. Dr. Jeffrey S. Reber, author of, The Paradox of Perfection: How Embracing Our Imperfection Perfects Us unpacks the many layers of perfectionism—where it comes from, why we struggle with it, and how it alienates us from each other and ourselves! We delve into:
•Perfectionism in the age of social media.
•Vulnerability and perfectionism.
•The most powerful aspect of psychotherapy—and how it relates to perfectionism.
•The “deep shame” that keeps so many of us trapped in the pursuit of flawlessness.
•How perfectionism in marriage prevents true intimacy.
•Perfectionism in the age of the “gotcha culture.”
Join us to discuss the paradox of perfection—how embracing our imperfections allows us to live lives of vulnerability, authenticity, and deep intimacy.
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We have a core human desire to love and be loved and many, if not most, of us believe our relationships to be the most important aspect of our lives. Yet in most countries, there’s very little formal education on how to cultivate healthy relationships—with ourselves and with others! Because of this we model the dynamics we witnessed in our family of origin—and for many of us, what we observed in childhood doesn’t provide a solid foundation for our adult connections. With all the psych research on friendship, love, and marriage, it’s surprising we don’t integrate this literature into school’s curriculums. If this concerns you, please take a listen to this episode in which Australian dating coach Renee Slansky shares her mission to implement love education into schools’ curriculum and beyond!
Music: https://soundcloud.com/lakeyinspired/blossom
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World renowned dating coach, Renee Slanksy, shares how a decision to completely own her choices in love allowed her to break free from a narcissist and find her Prince Charming! Find out how Renee’s strategy can work for you as we address:
•Renee’s #1 bit of advice for women dating today!
•What men are really looking for on a first date.
•How MEN get objectified…
•The ONE reason a man will commit to a woman.
•How entitlement negatively affects the dating culture.
•What women all too often fail to understand about men.
•The only two reasons people stay single.
•The concrete things you can do TODAY to free yourself from a toxic relationship.
•Why we need to date ourselves FIRST—and keep dating ourselves even when we’re in relationships!
Join us for wisdom and inspiration from both Renee’s personal journey and her international coaching practice!
Music:
Warm Nights by LAKEY INSPIRED (https://soundcloud.com/lakeyinspired) is licensed under a Creative Commons License.(CC BY-SA 3.0) https://creativecommons.org/licenses/...
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Psychologist, podcast host, and author of, How to Be Yourself: Quiet Your Inner Critic and Rise Above Social Anxiety, Dr. Ellen Hendriksen shares powerful techniques for managing—and even overcoming!—social anxiety. Join us as we discuss:
•The difference between social anxiety and shyness.
•The nature vs. nurture debate and how it relates to social anxiety.
•How our behavior rewires our brain—and how we can use this knowledge in overcoming social anxiety.
•The myth of confidence in social settings (spoiler alert: it’s not actually necessary!)
•How we can replace and embrace irrational thoughts to alleviate anxiety.
•The research behind “playing a role” in social situations, and how this “acting” ends up revealing your authentic self.
Step away from debilitating nervousness and step into the social life you’ve always wanted by taking charge of your thoughts to rise above social anxiety!
Music By: LAKEY INSPIRED @ https://soundcloud.com/lakeyinspired
Track Name: "Days Like These"
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Navigating the dating scene can prove dicey for all of us, but the process is often even more formidable for those living with physical disabilities. After leaving a long-term relationship, writer and podcast host, Jacqueline Raposo, found herself traversing a daunting dating landscape—one made exponentially more complex due to chronic illness. In this episode, Jacqueline and I take a deep dive into the unique challenges of dating with physical limitations, including—how to construct a dating profile (i.e. should you mention your chronic illness?), the anxiety of wondering if (when?) your physical restrictions may prove “too much” for your partner, chronic illness and identity (can it be a part of who you are without defining you?), and how to manage breakups and the disappointment of knowing that sometimes a relationship dissolves for one reason—the disability. Join us to hear how Jacqueline dated—and fell in love!—with chronic illness.
Music:
Track Name: "5 Min Call"
Music By: LAKEY INSPIRED @ https://soundcloud.com/lakeyinspired
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In this final segment of my interview with dating guru, The Fairy Godfather, we explore how heeding his advice improves our success in love, increases our self-worth, and inspires us with a powerful philosophy for living!
Listen to learn:
•How to dodge guys who are just out to manipulate you!
•Why the one-hour coffee first date is non-negotiable.
•How TFG’s Self-Worth Sundays directly impact your dating life!
•How to pace your texts when you’re first getting to know a guy—and why it’s imperative you do so!
•Which “old rules” of dating still apply and which don’t work at all in the age of online and Tinder dating.
•How to use the Scarcity Principle to increase desirability!
•Why TFG’s account is for women only—and how this protects us.
•The power of TFG’s Dating Dictionary definitions.
•Which questions drive TFG crazy!
Join us to equip yourself with TFG’s fairy magic to “stay woke” on the dating scene!
Road Trip by Joakim Karud https://soundcloud.com/joakimkarud
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From trauma survivors, to those with psychiatric diagnoses, to individuals seeking personal growth and development, many people find powerful healing and renewed hope through equine assisted therapy. But how, exactly, does interacting with horses impact our psychological state? Psychotherapist Kate Lambie and equine specialist Janada Halbison-Gibbs join me to address this question and discuss the profound emotional growth and healing EAGALA (Equine Assisted Growth and Learning Association) therapy affords. Learn how horse therapy creates space for introspection—often helping clients process and resolve deeply repressed issues—while providing clarity in the present and inspiration for the future!
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The way we speak makes a strong impression on others—in fact, according to research in social and cognitive psychology, people make assumptions about us regarding not only what we say, but also how we say it. Moreover, women are judged more harshly than men in this realm. So, when we like, pepper our conversation with filler words, you know, and um, speak in up-talk so that statements sound like questions? then we’re perceived as less competent, confident, and intelligent than men—even when men utilize these same tendencies! But we CAN take charge of our speech and present ourselves confidently, persuasively, and powerfully by hiring a speech coach—and good news! There’s an app for that! Audrey Mann Cronin’s LikeSo and LikeSo PRO provide you (or your business) with a personal speech coach on your phone! Join us to learn how Audrey’s entrepreneurial spirit turned her passion into a mission as we kick off Love & Life’s Women Making it Happen series!
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Neuroplasticty is our superpower, so let’s learn how to use it—for dating, and in all realms of life! The principles of neuroplasticity take the theme of this podcast a step further i.e. not only can we take charge of our thoughts, we can rewire our brains! In this episode, I share how acquiring an understanding of neuroplasticity helped me mend a broken heart and reclaim my joy and optimism. I also provide practical ways to start flexing your neuroplasticity superpower today! My co-host for Modern Dating Mindset Dallas, Kara Adams, joins me to discuss the mindset strategies that enabled her to not only face life post-divorce, but embrace life post-divorce!
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In this second segment of my conversation with The Fairy Godfather, we continue where we left off—with more straight talk on dating from a man’s point of view. We pick up with a question most women have wondered at some point, “Is it okay to ask a guy if he’s looking for a serious relationship?” (Spoiler alert: it’s more about when you ask, as opposed to what you ask!) He also discusses the differences between men and women when it comes to “bread crumbing” and he warns us to avoid wallowing in “textantionships” and teaches us how to protect ourselves from “love bombing.” TFG also shares why actions don’t always speak louder than word and he reveals the dating superpower all women have—if we can only learn to manage it!
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Have you ever felt like you were asleep in your own life? You’re definitely not alone! Writer and mindset coach, Leisse Wilcox, describes the powerful—and admittedly, painful—process of realizing she was asleep in what appeared to be a picture perfect life. In this second part of my conversation with Leisse, she shares mindset shifts to help us wake up and fully revel in our authenticity, no matter what we’re going through—even, as is the case in Leisse’s life, in the midst of divorce and cancer treatments. We also cover:
● Why focusing on ourselves isn’t at all selfish.
● The defining moment when Leisse realized she was living a lie.
● Messages we tell ourselves that allow us to stay asleep in our own lives.
● How the confirmation bias kept Leisse in an unhappy marriage—and may be keeping you stuck in ways you don’t even realize!
● The relationship between authenticity and anxiety.
●How Leisse “takes charge” of chemotherapy treatments to make them as beautiful as she possibly can.
● What’s often behind our “people pleasing.”
Leisse concludes our conversation sharing a quote from Brené Brown which helped her finally disentangle shame and pain. Join us to discuss all this and much more!
Music:
Great Days by Joakim Karud http://soundcloud.com/joakimkarud
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All too often women look to other women to help them figure out what’s going on in guys’ heads. But shouldn’t we get the guys’ perspective from an actual guy? Well, now we CAN because, whether you know it or not, you have a fairy godfather looking after your love life! With over 40k Instagram followers, The Fairy Godfather has already helped thousands of women and he’s here for you, too! In my conversation with TFG we dig deep—learning how he earned the nickname, The Fairy Godfather, and what sets him apart from other “experts ”in the dating/relationship field. He also delves into the neurology behind texting and why typical dating advice rarely works!
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Sometimes the ticking gets so loud it’s deafening. We try to “beat the biological clock,” but even if we beat it, do we actually win? Psychotherapists Brunnie Getchell and Alison Seponara dive into this question, sharing therapeutic techniques to help us adjust and adapt when life hasn’t played out as planned. Join us for a lively discussion on:
•Mindfulness practices for easing anxiety (about the future) and depression (due to past regrets).
•How reframing the pain of “missing” life’s milestones facilitates emotional healing.
•Recognizing when we give away our power—and how to take it back!
•Ways to cultivate intimacy in our lives—even when love has yet to arrive.
•Why the option to settle isn’t really an option—and how settling is related to dysfunction in families.
Brunnie and Alison offer insight from their therapeutic expertise and encouragement from their personal journeys as single women who’ve had to navigate circuitous routes and make peace with the ticking of their own biological clocks.
Music: https://www.purple-planet.com
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“Just be yourself!” It should be so easy, but for most of us, the quest for authenticity proves an ongoing struggle. Mindset coach Leisse Wilcox joins me to delve into vulnerability, pain, and finding our true self. Leisse shares how the agony of her divorce led to her become “unapologetically clear” regarding who she is and what she’s about. We discuss the challenges we all face when pursuing authenticity—including insensitive comments from others and what these responses actually mean. Leisse discusses how her background in child development not only helped her explain her divorce to her three young daughters, but also helped her process the experience herself. We wrap up part one of our conversation with an authenticity mantra courtesy of Sex and the City’s Charlotte York Goldenblatt!
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Are you struggling to meet quality people online and via apps? Maybe it’s time to try a different approach—like I did! After years on the dating scene and no success online, I figured there had to be a better option, so I joined It’s Just Lunch and let a matchmaker do the work for me. In this episode, Dan and I talk about our experience with a dating service and what it’s like to have a professional pick out your dates. Then Melissa Brown, CEO of It’s Just Lunch, joins the conversation to share how IJL could help you meet someone special!
www.drkarin.me
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We all know that exercise benefits both physical and emotional health. But there’s more to the story! Author William Pullen joins me to discuss his book, Running with Mindfulness: Dynamic Running Therapy (DRT) to Improve Low-Mood, Anxiety, Stress, and Depression. We talk about so much good stuff including:
How DRT addresses isolation in an age of hyper-connectedness.
The step too many therapists overlook when treating depression.
What Prince Harry needs to incorporate in his “End the Stigma” campaign.
The listening skill that will enhance your relationship with everyone in your life.
How therapeutic techniques help the FBI negotiate with kidnappers—and how this relates to your ability to deeply connect with others.
Pullen leaves us with practical tools to elevate your mood from Dynamic Running Therapy and spoiler alert—you don’t need to be a runner to utilize them!
www.drkarin.me
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We hear it all the time—strong relationships start with loving yourself first. And while this advice seems reasonable in theory, it’s not always especially useful in practice. What does it really mean to love yourself and how exactly do you do it? Katherine Baldwin, author of How to Fall in Love: A 10-Step Journey to the Heart, joins me to talk about her lifelong quest for self-love and how she finally found peace (and love) after years of restlessness and self-sabotage. We talk about the dangers of being “in deficit” and discuss strategies and tools to help us fall in love . . . with ourselves!
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CBD oil—everyone’s talking about it and many claim it cures a wide array of conditions—anxiety, ADHD, depression, rheumatoid arthritis, psoriasis, and polycystic ovarian disease, just to name a few! But does it really work? And if so, how can does it treat both psychological and physiological problems? Jen Kerr of HempWorx joins me to provide answers to these questions and more. She addresses the controversies surrounding CBD oil—spoiler alert, yes, it’s legal and no, you won’t get high from it—and shares the research she’s uncovered, along with personal testimonials of CBD success—including her own!
www.drkarin.me
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Hospice nurse Amber Runyon visited Ethiopia and witnessed little girls being sold into prostitution. Appalled and discouraged, she returned to the U.S. only to realize her hometown, Columbus, Ohio, had an enormous problem with human trafficking as well. She decided to shine a light in this darkest domain by starting Eleventh Candle Co. to provide jobs for those trying to leave the sex trafficking industry. Amber joins me to share her story and inspire us all to make a difference in whatever way we can—even something as simple as buying a candle, can combat human trafficking!
www.drkarin.me
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Dating apps—most of us have a love/hate relationship with them. Yes, they help us connect, but do these connections ever go anywhere? Too often the answer is no—until now! The good news is, a new option has hit the scene—Cove Dating App! Charles Messow, creator of Cove, joins me to discuss the radically different approach Cove offers. As Charles says, “People are starving for more depth. We’ve put together a product with a lot of love and thought behind it.” Listen to find out how a dating app CAN facilitate deep, meaningful relationships!
www.drkarin.me
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According to the U.S. Census Bureau, over 70% of remarriages involving children from a previous relationship end in divorce. Clearly, blended families face unique challenges. To further complicate matters, in some cases a husband brings children to the marriage while his new wife struggles with infertility. Kelly Palmquist, MSW, joins me to talk about raising his kids, while desiring our own.
www.drkarin.me
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It’s sad, but true. Young girls can be very mean, but what can we do about it? Katie Hurley, LCSW, author of No More Mean Girls: The Secret to Raising Strong, Confident, and Compassionate Girls joins me to discuss this and other important developmental concerns. In Part 2 of my conversation with Katie, we discuss the profound impact of sleep deprivation (spoiler alert: your kids may not have anxiety or ADHD, they may actually just be sleep deprived!), the uber competitive nature of sports today, the “culture of busy,” and the three most important needs of the developing brain. We also delve into the debate surrounding praise (are kids receiving too much or too little praise?) and why you need to assess your child’s “self-esteem baseline.”
www.drkarin.me
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Girls can be mean—very mean. And in this modern era, “mean girl” dynamics start in the primary grades—or even preschool! Katie Hurley, author of No More Mean Girls: The Secret to Raising Strong, Confident, and Compassionate Girls, joins me to share practical strategies for empowering girls! Learn the cognitive distortions that affect self-esteem and how to teach girls more realistic and positive ways of thinking. Find out what Katie believes is behind “girl drama” and what parents can do to equip their daughters to thrive in a variety of social contexts. We delve into research on SEL (social and emotional learning) and discover how it impacts not only social skills, but academic achievement as well! Finally, Katie provides the latest research on combatting bullying—we learn what really works!
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According to US Census data, in the past 30 years there’s been a dramatic increase in the number of adult children (18-34) who remain living at home. Clearly, the path to adulthood proves somewhat daunting and circuitous for this generation. Dr. Brad E. Sachs, author of Emptying the Nest: Launching Your Young Adult Toward Success and Self-Reliance, joins me to discuss this “failure to launch” phenomenon. We look at the family dynamics related to a young person’s reluctance to leave home (spoiler alert: both the child and parents play a part!) and learn strategies for encouraging and supporting families as they navigate this developmental transition.
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Getting back “out there” after a divorce can prove daunting and discouraging—but it doesn’t have to be! After a devastating divorce in her mid thirties, UK Dating Coach of the Year, Ané Auret, believed her life had veered horribly off course. But what seemed like her darkest hour, ended up transforming her life in every possible way! She rediscovered her identity, found true love, and embarked upon a new career as a dating coach. In this episode, we discuss how your “confirmation bias” affects your love-life and delve into the unique challenges of post-divorce dating in your 20s, 30s, 40s, 50s, and beyond. Ané provides encouragement for divorcées—and others—who strive to maintain hope and belief in love!
www.drkarin.me
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There’s a lot of drama out there, but does there have to be? This week I answer three questions from listeners regarding complications in their relationships. Jessica wonders why her ex-boyfriend craves so much drama. Amanda isn’t sure if she should wait for Mark to get his life together—especially since he keeps telling her she deserves better. And Becky’s in a complicated situation with her boyfriend of three years. We delve into the reasons behind each “it’s complicated” scenario and discuss ways to extricate ourselves from unsatisfying, nebulous connections!
www.drkarin.me
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Raising emotionally healthy kids is no easy task and according to Dr. Leonard Sax, it’s infinitely more difficult for American parents compared to parents in Western Europe. In part 2 of my interview with psychologist, physician, and author, Dr. Leonard Sax we discover:
•Why American kids are exponentially more likely to be diagnosed with a mental illness than kids in Western Europe.
•The brain damage that occurs from ADHD medications.
•Sleep deprivation and how it affects kids’ cognition and motivation.
•Why adult ADHD recently became a “thing” and why it’s not a legitimate diagnosis.
•How boys and girls interact with social media differently and the impact on their emotional development.
Dr. Sax provides research-based strategies for raising happy and successful kids in the midst of the collapse of American parenting.
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Psychologist, physician, and author Dr. Leonard Sax joins me to discuss the many challenges of modern parenting. Dr. Sax has spent over 30 years treating children in his medical practice and has written four books on parenting and child development. Find out which childhood trait—intelligence, social skills, conscientiousness, or adaptability—best predicts success and happiness in adulthood. Learn proven parenting strategies (grounded in psych research) and discover why parenting is unquestionably more difficult today than it was 30 years ago (spoiler alert: it’s not just about technology!) Finally, hear why Dr. Sax believes we should not try to make our kids happy!
www.drkarin.me
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Why does it take so long for some of us to find The One? They say “timing is everything” but is that always the case? Or do some of us need to work through our "issues" before love will come our way? For Treva Brandon Scharf, getting married at age 50 revamped not only her love life, but her career identity as well. Her blog, The Late Blooming Bride, garnered her a book deal and radio show! We discuss these questions with Chip Gregory, my producer and late blooming groom, and share the challenges—and benefits!—of meeting The One with a few years under your belt.
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Will and Grace may be the most famous, but they weren’t the first and they won’t be the last! To celebrate this special bond, I’ve invited my manager and BFF, Chip Gregory, to the program to help me examine the beautiful nuances of gay boy-straight girl love. We dig into the psych research on the topic—yes, we have data on this—and discuss stereotypes and terminology (i.e. “fruit flies” and “beards”). We close out the show with a question from Jared who’s had his heart broken so many times, he’s afraid he’ll never be able to trust anyone again. Join Chip and me as we delve into the unique dynamics of the gay boy-straight girl love affair!
www.drkarin.me
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Have you ever been ghosted? Or maybe you’ve been the one to ghost? In this episode, I examine the ghosting phenomenon and tackle the question, “Is ghosting the worst way to exit a relationship or is it perhaps, a kinder way to go?” I share how I responded to two times I was ghosted over my years of dating and bring in Dan and my 24-year-old niece, Amie, to share a millennial’s perspective on ghosting.
www.drkarin.me
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How do you cope when tragedy strikes? According to Valerie Giglio, lawyer, vocalist, and stroke survivor (at the way-too-young age of 42!), you maintain hope in the midst of despair by taking charge of your mindset! Hear how Valerie reclaimed her life after the stroke robbed her of her ability to walk, talk, and sing. Her triumphant recovery underscores the truth that our state of mind is a very powerful thing! Also on the episode, I introduce a new segment in which I’ll respond to listener’s emails. This week I answer Kelly’s question about whether or not she should try to be friends with her ex.
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A museum dedicated to heartbreak? Yes, it’s a thing and I had to learn more! In this episode, I interview Alexis Hyde, director and curator of the Museum of Broken Relationships in LA. Who came up with this idea? What’s the museum’s purpose and mission? How can you submit an artifact? Alexis answers these questions and more and also shares how a walk through a heartbreak museum can prove healing and even uplifting! P.S. I think I’ve got a couple artifacts to submit myself!
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Singles want to be in relationships, yet couples complain about how difficult relationships are. So why do we want relationships if they’re such hard work? But are they really all that hard? And do they have to be? This episode is the first in the occasional series called, “Let’s Get Real” in which I’ll dismantle relationship myths—starting with the bogus notion that relationships have to be hard! Dan joins me to discuss the research related to this topic and we share a song I wrote for him inspired by the idea that relationships should be as easy as breathing.
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It’s the most wonderful time of the year—so why don’t we always feel the holiday cheer? In this episode I discuss reasons behind the Christmas blues and what science says we can do to make our spirits bright! Find out the things you do every day which lead to depression—and learn small adjustments that bring a big boost to your mood! As always, I leave us with a Love & Life hack for taking charge of your emotions this holiday season. Plus, I share an original Christmas song—you’re the first to hear it!
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Are we losing the war on love? To begin the program, Dan and I play the “War on Love” card game created by this week’s guest, Alex Merritt, “The Love Engineer.” Alex then joins us to share the inspiration behind the game and what she’s learned about male/female communication when hosting her live events, “Dessert & Discussion.” Alex’s mission is to help men and women call a truce in the battle of the sexes and win the war on love!
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In America today more than 33% of children grow up without a father in the home. Many of these children are left with a “father wound” which continues to impact them throughout their lives—often times without their awareness. John Finch of The Father Effect joins me to talk about the father wound he endured due to losing his father to suicide when John was just 11 years old. John shares his journey, what inspired him to launch The Father Effect (both a book and film), and how he was able to finally forgive his father and make peace with the reality of growing up without a dad.
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Audrey Mann Cronin, creator of the LikeSo app talks with me about the importance of “saying it like you mean it!” We discuss how filler words (e.g. like, so, um, right) impede effective communication and we delve into the pitfalls of common speech tendencies such as up-talk and vocal fry. Find out what actress Lake Bell calls the “sexy baby voice” (even if you haven’t heard about it, you’ve definitely heard it) and discover how the LikeSo app can help you communicate with poise and confidence no matter the occasion—job interview, maid-of-honor toast, or presentation at work. As always, we leave you with a Love & Life Hack—a strategy to help you, like, be a better communicator, you know what I mean?
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Why is it that so many people seem to have anxiety, depression, ADHD, or some other psychological disorder? Are we in the midst of a mental illness epidemic? Or, is it possible we've shifted our perception of what's "normal"
such that what was once called shyness is now called Social Anxiety Disorder and grieving the death of a loved one is labeled as Clinical Depression? To examine this question, psychiatrist Dr. Allen Frances joins me to discuss his book, "Saving Normal: An Insider's Revolt Against Out-of-Control Psychiatric Diagnosis, the DSM-5, Big Pharma, and the Medicalization of Ordinary Life." Dr. Frances sheds light on the profound influence pharmaceutical companies have on the mental health landscape and provides us with strategies for approaching mental health from an informed and empowered position.
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Dr. Shannon Warden, co-author of the book Things I’d Wish I’d Known Before We Became Parents, joins Karin to discuss solutions to today’s most pressing parenting challenges. We delve into the importance of boundaries in family relationships and examine ways to nurture your marriage in the midst of pressing parenting responsibilities. Dr. Karin’s Love & Life hack reveals the MOST important job of a parent! Hint: it has nothing to do with how you treat your children!
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Author Jon Birger joins Karin to delve into today’s most frustrating dating dilemmas. What’s going on with the “hook-up culture” and why is it so much harder to have a solid relationship in the new millennium? Jon’s book, Date-onomics, sheds light on these questions and provides suggestions for increasing the odds of finding love. As always, Dr. Karin leaves listeners with a Love & Life Hack—strategies for thriving in love and life!
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In this episode, Dr. Karin answers questions from all the single ladies! Listeners ask, "After being single so long, is it possible to become so independent that I'll end up stuck in my ways and unable to find love?" and "How do I get my mom to stop bugging me about my love life (or lack thereof)?" and "Why do I keep getting back with my ex even though I know we're not 100% right for each other?" Dr. Karin answers these questions, provides resources for further support, and, as always, leaves listeners with a Love & Life hack!
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We all want to be great parents—but how? Actually, science points us in the right direction! This week Dr. Karin and her husband, Dan, discuss a well-established theory of parenting from the developmental psych literature—Diana Baumrind’s parenting styles take the guesswork out of parenting. It’s simple! Not easy, but simple!
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Dr. Karin welcomes Kira Sabin of The League of Adventurous Singles to the podcast. Kira shares her philosophy for thriving while flying solo and reveals methods from her coaching practice, The Owner’s Manual. Spoiler alert: you will NOT learn the mysteries of the male mind (because Karin and Kira are women, after all) nor will you discover the secret to finding The One (because sadly, there’s no magic bullet) but you WILL learn strategies for loving yourself and loving your life—because as Kira says, “great relationships start with ourselves!”
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How do you grieve the loss of something you never had? This week Dr. Karin welcomes to the program Nichelle Polston and Alisha Jones of the blog, Give Me a Ring and a Baby. We discuss the pain associated with a life that refuses to play out as planned—whether we’re longing for a husband but flying solo to yet another wedding or receiving a baby shower invitation the day we learn our IVF cycle has failed—for the third time! Nichelle and Alisha share their stories—their frustration (often exacerbated by insensitive, unsolicited input from friends and family) and their triumph—how they’ve managed to find peace, joy, and purpose in the midst of their unique grief.
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Enduring the loss of a loved one is horribly painful, but experiencing a unique grief can prove difficult in unexpected ways. In this episode, Dr. Karin examines how we process loss when our culture provides neither protocol nor terminology for our distress. She interviews Christine Infanger of Thirty Roses about the tragic, sudden passing of her 30-year-old fiancé. In addition to the pain of losing the love of her life, Christine dealt with an onslaught of ridiculous and absurd comments from well-intentioned friends. Dr. Karin and Christine leave listeners with recommendations for how to approach those who are grieving in a kind, sensitive manner.
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Dr. Karin always says, "Marriage is great, but only if it's a great marriage." So how do we keep the sparks alive? In this episode, Dr. Karin and her husband, Dan, discuss Helen Fisher's research on lasting attraction. She looks at couples whose brain chemistry evidences they're still "in love" despite spending 20+ years together and raising children. Dr. Karin leaves listeners with science based Love & Life hacks for keeping the sizzle in your marriage!
marriage #sex #inlove #lastinglove #couples #therapy #psychology #anthropology
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Let’s talk about marriage! On this episode, Dr. Karin invites her husband, Dan, to join her in discussing nine research-based ways to assist you in cultivating a happy, healthy marriage that will go the distance. Dan leaves listeners with a Love & Life hack for how to make any man happy!
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British breakup coach, Laura Yates, joins Dr. Karin to share strategies for breaking up in the healthiest way possible. They delve into the challenges of splitting up in the age of social media and Laura leaves us with two Love & Life Hacks for renewing and reclaiming your life when a relationship has ended.
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Dr. Karin gets personal talking about one of the most painful breakups from her 27 years of dating. Crushed when Dylan left Chicago, Karin channeled her pain into songwriting. She shares details of the breakup and plays You Made Me—the edgy, angst-ridden song it inspired. She leaves listeners with a Love & Life hack for how to “take charge of the pain!”
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Dr. Karin answers listeners' questions on this episode of Love & Life. She helps Rebecca process her frustrations with married friends and assists newly divorced Mindy in navigating her way through the singles' scene. Dr. Karin then addresses Carly's question about the challenges of dating in the "Digital Age."
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In this episode, Dr. Karin shares three research-based strategies to help us feel better about ourselves by focusing on our thoughts. She delves into the phenomenon of "Facebook Depression", discusses Dr. Carol Dweck's theory of mindsets, and explores the connection between ruminating and mood. Dr. Karin leaves us with 3 Love & Life Hacks you can immediately implement to increase your self-esteem today!
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We're kicking off March by renewing and reclaiming any areas of our lives that are out of step with our authenticity! Teresa G. Carey joins Dr. Karin to share her story of being trapped in an abusive marriage for 23 years. Her life appeared perfect on the outside, but things were horrible behind the scenes. Listen to learn how Teresa escaped "The Attractive Trap" and reclaimed her life!
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The Love is Real Series: Part 3
The We love our BFFs and promise to stay close forever, but doing so can be difficult when life takes us in different directions. In this third episode of The Love is Real series, Dr. Karin talks about how to navigate the "seasons" of friendship. She invites her college roommate, Miriam Conner, to join the conversation and they discuss ways that helped them remain close over the years—even though Miriam married young and moved to another state. Dr. Karin leaves you with 3 "Love & Life Hacks" to help you and your besties stay strong!
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Damia Jackson of "Single Girls Rock" joins Dr. Karin to talk about ways to thrive on Valentine's Day no matter what's going on in your love life! Damia gives advice from her blog post, "A Single Girl's Perspective on Valentine's Day" and explains how and why she started Single Girls Rock.
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"Is this relationship the 'real deal'?" "Is he The One?" "Do we have what it takes to go the distance?" "How can I make my marriage better?"
In this episode Dr. Karin unpacks these questions and more..to give you "love and life hacks" helping you better understand and enhance the love in your life. With input from her husband, Dan (#TheOne), Dr. Karin explains how to analyze relationships using Dr. Robert Sternberg's Triangular Theory of Love. She provides ways to enrich love via Dr. Gary Chapman's 5 Love Languages.
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When making major life decisions, it's easy to let fear cloud our judgment. We play it safe and stay with what is known, rather than following out hears and living authentically. In this episode, Dr. Karin explains how to tackle fear head-on by examining our irrational thoughts. She shares how she almost married the wrong man because she worried that she may never meet the right one! Dr. Karin also discusses research showing how fear of being single keeps people from leaving unsatisfactory, unhealthy relationships.
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Can Taking Selfies help you live more authentically? In this episode Dr Karin invites fellow therapist and friend Kate Lambie, to join her in tackling this question. They explore the benefits of authentic living (supported by science!) and argue that selfies serve as snap shots of who we are and what we're about. If observed objectively, they may indicate whether or not we're resonating with our true selves.
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With a Ph.D in psychology and 27years on the dating scene (before marrying The One), Dr. Karin Anderson Abrell brings life experience and academic acumen to her philosophy on love and relationships.
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With a Ph.D. in psychology and 27 years on the dating scene, Dr. Karin Anderson Abrell brings life experience and academic acumen to her philosophy on love and relationships.
In episode two, DR. Karin discusses the notion of "singlism" and how many of us experience -or are guilty of - "single shaming" without even realizing it! She gets personal sharing a story from her single days and explains how the "single shaming" she experienced led her to write her book, Single is The New Black: Don't Wear White 'Til It's Right, as a word of empowerment and encouragement to singles who have the guts to go it alone despite the "single shaming" they encounter!!
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With A Ph.D in psychology and 27 years on the dating scene, Dr. Karin Anderson-Abrell brings life experience and academic acumen to her philosophy on love and relationships. In this first episode, Dr. Karin shares three key principles for living a happy, hopeful, and positive life expressed by her favorite hashtags! She Discusses how to #GetHappy by taking charge of your thoughts, to take charge of your life! She then delves into the importance of authenticity in relationships and explains how EVERYONE around you benefits when you #NEVERSETTLE.
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