The Sooper Podcast!: Recent Episodes
soopermexican
THIS WEEK we return with JESS in the first Hurricane Hilary podcast!! El Sooper under threat of death and drowning!! El Sooper talks about dying in the hurricane also then they talk about Elon Muskboy destroying Twitter and Tweetdeck but why it is a noble sacrifice. And there’s an arguing with white people update!! Then we discuss the difference between the Mayan calendar and the Aztec calendar!! ALSO el Ronaldo the Second settles the big big Ketchap debate! WOW!! And the hurriquake kills el sooper. ALSO how is DeSantis’ campaign doing? Ooof. And Short white people privilege. And the best race riot everrr!! And why Jess will hit el Sooper with a chair. Listen to the last sooperpodcast before jess takes over after he dies! WOW!!
We have restorted the podcast!! We get an adult progeny update from Jess and then we discuss whether we should sue MATT, who isn’t there, also Jess tells us all the horrific details that we missed about the imploding submersible from a month ago. ALSO el Sooper discusses the origins of a very obscure tweet he put out in the universe, then we talk about the ads we’re getting served also we make fun of people in the papillondemonium and their friends. ALSO el sooper gives an arguing with black people update that will not disappoint. Or maybe it will. Then there’s tweetdeck and twitter drama. Wow! What a cast! Also tips on dealing with those rascally Gen-Xers. And then there’s about 20 seconds about actual politics. Go listen now!!
WE FINALLY HAVE A NEW PODCAST and el Sooper admits that he done came down with the COVID, possibly after hanging out with fat comic book nerds and slutty superhero cosplay chicks. Then she tricks him into being way tooo open and personal about his new anxiety issues so you’re gonna be subjected to that. It’s a racing mind problem!! Then he talks about going to the emergency room and being completely forsaken by a nurse. Also!! El Sooper attacks parents of dead children what a jerk!! Then there’s an arguing with black people update and accidental carjacking update. Also a stuck in a public bathroom update!! ALSO Twitter ads thinks I’m a cat mother, and that I am interested in bras for women with small boobs while Jess gets ads for bras for elderly women. ALSO el Sooper talks about a really dumb tweet about socialism and capitalism and he SNAPPED! So you have to hear about it. Also Matt poops on Twitter. AND the shattle!! You have to go listen now!!
Hi, how are you? I’m good, how are you? It’s another sooperpodcast and this time we have Jessica Heddings again! We get some scruples and go top of mind with our post-election analysis, and you’re not gonna wanna miss this! We talk about the mystery of water-beds, and sauntering within the radius of victory! ALso telegram, Master Don, the Trump Bucks, hashtag TCOT, the trouble with Elon Musk and fentanyl halloween candy!! Finally, we get the bell out of here! Go listen now!!
Hi! How are you? I’m good, how are you? We’re back after a mextended hiatus and we have tons of excuses. This week el Sooper talks about his surprise trip to Buffalo and Jess talks about scaring herself for Halloween! What a weirdo. We have a Halloween decoration update and we tear up the argument surrounding Elon Musk buying up Twitter and forcing the bluechecks to pay him money! ALSO how he universe escrewed el sooper and how always has to say ackshooally on the slave statistics! That’s sad! ALSo we talk about fentanyl candy and marijuana candy and people failing to make jokes in the papillondemonuium! WOW it’s jam packed this week!! Hope you enjoy it, go listen now!!
THIS WEEK we have Just OK Jessica with us and el Sooper apologizes for the audio quality on the last podcast, but I am listening to the new one right now and it sounds great!! We get the morning report from Just OK Jessica and also we talk about whether sparse is a word, it is, and el Sooper laughs a whole lot at the White House press secretary. He says something probably racist about immigrants and then yells at people to get some scruples, stop watching movies on smaller screens because you’re destroying Western society dammit. There’s also a little sports talk, sorry people, but el Sooper almost killed an NFL player and he feels really bad about it. GO ENJOY!!!
THIS WEEK we have pretty bad quality for el Sooper and great audio quality for Jess, we're very sorry. We'll fix it on the next one. BUT THIS WEEK we talk about the Bills game that Sooper went to, and also some Martha's Vineyard craziness and also general immigration comments and also whether Atlanta is better than Boston, also why the Kaepernick thing is dumb and also why a lot of other things are dumb!! It's SOOO fun!! Also how Jess's quarterback did something dumb that she didn't see because she doesn't even watch her games. Amazing. GO LISTEN!!
THIS WEEK we have a MATT and we don't have a JESS!! We talk a little bit about politics but we mostly do the pop culture documentaries and shows on the streaming. So there are a lot of spoilers, sorry!! Avoid those, but enjoy the podcast. Also we talk about Dr. Oz. And comic book movies and how animals are AMORAL rapists and MURDERERS. And comic book nerds. It's great, GO LISTEN RIGHT NOW.
THIS WEEK WE HAVE A JESS. We talk about all sorts of stuff including why do the little childrens keep turning on the subtitles on all our streaming services? What the hell is Seattle Dan talking about anyway?!? We do some other griping and then el Sooper harangues people also we talk about how technology is subtly changing our culture, and also has Twitter actually gotten worse?!? Let's all find out together on the latest and greatest sooperpodcast! WOW!
THIS WEEK we have a MATT!! WOW!! We don’t talk about politics at all, really! Only tangentially. We got a Matt and we talk all about the Netflix stuff and the Star Wars stuff and the Marvel Movie stuff!! So it suffices to say that there will be spoilers!! It’s a MATT all pop culture podcast!! Also we look back at the latchkey kids and we blame Gen-X for the millennial snowflakes!! WOWW!! You go, you go listen now!!
THIS WEEK we’re back and we got a JESS but no Matt he’s gone. THIS WEEK Jess talks about her COVIDcation and we talk a lot about the incredible polling results from Hispanics and also why el Sooper is a man, not a breakfast taco!! Jess yass-queens for a while and then el Sooper discusses suppurating and Elon Musk and Twitter and Trump and how awful science and medicine was in the 1700s, hooray!! It’s another almost-hour of wisdom, virtue and goodness for your ears and your brains!! WOW!
THIS WEEK we’re back and we got a JESS but no Matt he’s gone. We talk about Jess’s continued obsession with hating Taylor Lorenz, and we have a sooper black people update. We talk about the generational gap about job expectations and make fun of the people fired by Elon Musk. Then Jess Yas-Queens herself for a while and el Sooper talks about the temperature. Also he figures out he’s been off for decades. AND he talks about conspiracy theories and eggs and stingrays and economics podcasts and the shrinking middle class and old people at doctor’s offices. WOW!! Go listen now!!
THIS WEEK we have a shorter version of the sooperpodcast with just a short person, the inimitable Jess Heddings!! No MATT edition, and we kinda lucked out given how the podcast veered out of control. Jess goes off about Taylor Lorentz and the insane controversy around her, and then she starts yes-queening herself! Also there’s a vocal fry university of podcasting primer and we talk about the Georgia primaries and also el Sooper talks about how he scared a nice black couple! Darn it. You have to go listen right now!! It’s the Sooperpodcast!!
YES it is here!! The Sooperpodcast where we discuss why we’re dumb!! We finally connect the dots after a decade of podcasting and more than 462 podcasts!! It’s very exciting. Also we talk about Matt’s new job and Jess’s ma’am life crisis and whether short people are creepy. Also we find out one of the co-hosts is a tiny person hoarding tiny notebooks. ALSO we talk about nursing home disasters. Not good. And some abortion stuff, and then el Sooper goes NUTS yelling about the incompetence of the Biden administration! WOW!! You have to listen now!! And there’s an 80s movie reference. What more do you want?! Also el Sooper argues with Mother Nature and tells her she’s a rapist and a murderer!! Go listen right now!! Before we kick your face!!
THIS WEEK it’s just el Sooper and el MATT!! We do everything we can to avoid talking about politics but eventually we ride the slippery slope into it all! We talk Soosicalls, the horror movie musicals, the time that Gallagher was a big jerk to Carrot Top, Elon Musk saving the Tweepublic, and why el Sooper is very very much against paying off student loans. ALSO el Sooper soopsplains the Great Resignation to Matt!! ALSO el Sooper is very optimistic but then argues himself into being very pessimistic! It’s great! And we talk a little bit of NFL draft, but not a lot, sorry non-football fans. ALSO matt talks about the cost of discipleship and el Sooper talks about a great YouTube video called the guy who accidentally the most people in history! WOW!! You have to go listen right now!!
Hello everyone it’s the new sooperpodcast and we have a MATT and we have Jess, but we barely have a Soopermexican!! That’s because I had to call in from my iPhone and I sound terrible. I’m very very sorry. if you can bear to listen, we talk about the dems shooting themselves in the foot and how wonderful it all is, and also a little bit on Jan. 6 and also on the Florida parental rights law and why is it dividing people on the right?! Yes, you must listen now. Also Matt is there. And he talks about being unfollowed by someone. It's very cool. Also we learn what Sooper's pronouns are!! WOW!! Go listen right now!!
THIS WEEK we have the one and only Jess and only Jess!! We talk about some politics but mostly how Jess is perilously heading towards being an empty nester and how sharks tried to eat el Sooper whilst he vacationed at Newport Harbour. Also is there anyone who knows anything about industrial design?! Then we talk about the state of the Republican party and also el Sooper says he is not against dogs having tails at all. And a little bit about the Oscars SLAP but very little, we promise. THEN he deciphers his screenname on Twitter for all those who uninitiated. And then el Sooper betrays the patriarchy!! Also how do you say TACOnservative?!? WOW, go listen now!!
THIS WEEK we are unable to get that very short lady to join us, so it's an ALL MATT podcast for all of you big matt fans!! We barely talk any politics, it's mostly pharma stories, playing G.I. Joes, Hershey's bars, and all the horrible satanic things girls do in middle school. WOW!! You have to go listen right now!!
THIS WEEK on the Sooperpodcast we have MATT again and also Jessica!! WOW!! This week Jess asks a very very long question that is so long el Sooper forgets what it was. THEN we talk about why Ukraine is Brittany with an I, and why social media made us hate Putin and love Zelensky!! Then el Sooper yells a whole and curses, which is what so many of you love!! He yells about conspiracy theories and then about mask tweets for some reason and he probably regrets it now that he has to publish the podcast. WOW!! Also theological hubris and pride and Jennifer Griffin and they didn’t watch Ted Lasso and more Ukraine stuff I think. Go listen right now!!
THIS WEEK we got Matt for another mexclusive engagement!! Though he doesn’t talk much this time. We DO chat about why you need an air fryer and an instapot terror weapon!! Also we catch you up on world war 3 or 4 or whatever war we’re on, and then we read some funny tweets and then we tell you our favorite streaming television show picks! WOW!! Also Jess talks about all the dead woodland animals that appear on her door stoop. Also some obnoxious guy talking about reading books at a bar!! THEN we go over the Gettr and the Truther and the Franker!! Also we talk about the lameness of the New Orleans Breakers!! Wow!! You have to go listen now!!
THIS WEEK we have a sooper special guest, the one and only Matt Dawson, by popular demand!! We find out what he’s bene up to in the year since he said he was “going out for a smoke” and then never came back! WOW! He tells us about his new job and also how he laces his paintings with fentanyl! Actually I guess I make that accusation and he never really denies or confirms it. WOW! Also Jess is there and she gets all upset about Aldi’s or something. Matt tells us some more pharmacy stories then we talk about the Superbowl and how Mexicans say Valentine’s Day wrong. WOW! You have to go listen right now!! It’s the current events podcast with Matt and Jess!
THIS WEEK we return with more half-assed coverage of the news that happened 30 minutes before we record!! WOW!! El Sooper and Jess waste a bunch of time talking about their technological setbacks, then they talk about Brian Flores’ racist lawsuit against the NFL!! Also there is a Georgia dumpster fire update, we talk some Stacey Abrams ridiculousness, then there are pity retweets, chimney peppers and Aldi’s discount outrages!! Then there are a few papillondemonium updates, and the sofa puddle cure. WOW!! You have to go listen right now!!
THIS WEEK we return to the podcast mines!! El Sooper makes his glorious return from New York City and Buffalo and Kansas City and various other places in between!! El Sooper regales the listener with tales from his visit with the lovely and gracious Dana Perino!! ALSO he thrills the listeners with his attendance at the legendary Patriots Bills game! And the pivotal Jets Bills game!! And the crushing disappointment of the Chiefs game!! Also Jess is there, listening. We finally eventually get to politics and talk the Doocy insult, how to say processes, whether Russia will invade Ukraine and if Biden will even notice, and then the stock market collapsing and why el Sooper is not a financial advisor. WOW!! Also updates from the world of the Papillondemonium!! You have to listen now!!
THIS WEEK we drop Jess for not being Mexican enough and we have a super guest to discuss the ridiculousness of the Latinx movement! Also we make fun of Alec Baldwin's wife because she cannot pronounce cucumber! WOW! It's everything you ever wanted in a mexican conservative year end show!! Also I am not a Jewish lawyer from Burbank pretending to be Mexican, I promise!! Happy New Year!!!
THiS WEEK we are back from a loooong unintended Christmas break!! Not my fault. What IS my fault is that I stupidly ate some almonds right before we recorded. I almost died. THEN Jess and I talked about our Christmas and how tamales are incredible and why we both suck at the sooper fantasy football league! Wow!! THEN we talk about the Si-D-Si and whether they are hypocritical and corrupt and trying to kill everyone, also why everyone is getting off the canoe. Is that even a saying? Not really. ALSO booing the Trump booster, arrogance and incompetence, why the tweetdeck preview is horrible but why it is good for el Sooper’s stock portfolio. ALSO let’s all do some less licking during COVID please. Finally, el Sooper screws up and turns off his computer halfway through and then there’s horrible audio for a while, sorry. And there’s a mention of Dana Perino and the secret DMs. WOW!! You have to go listen right now, go, stop wasting time!!
THIS WEEK we finally get back to podcastin' after taking a turkey break. El Sooper discusses his devices and how men buy him beer at bars, also we talk about the downfall of Chris Cuomo, then Jess tries to get me to explain the mystery of the Patriot Front. I fail at that. Then I go deep on the transphobic murder crime conspiracy of Sabrina Prater and her hint-droppin’ TikTok dance videos!! WOW!! Then Jess gives us netflix recommendations and we make fun of food snobs, but then become food snobs. What a roller coaster!! Also Jess laughs so hard she breaks her computer! WOW! And you’re invited, for free!!! Go listen now!!
THIS WEEK we talk about whether Jess’s friends make fun of her, and then el Sooper forgets how long it’s been since they recorded last!! Also el Sooper recounts how he got sick at the Buffalo Bills game on Halloween! That’s not almonds, and it’s not the vid!! Then we have some rank punditry, insofar as that is possible, also we talk about the cracker barrel video and also we talk about milk elitism and lactose privilege, and also we talk about Tara Setmayer who has utterly and completely lost it. LOST IT. Then we discuss CRT and how el Sooper hates good teachers!! WOW!! Then he talks crap about that new META commercial! Also does anyone know what the heck Jessica is talking about?!? Hopefully we’ll find out. Wow go listen now stop reading and listen!!
THIS WEEK el Sooper and Jess talk about the love language of cats, also a thorough assessment of the virtues and evils of candy corn. Ma’am. There are kitchen fingers and then el Sooper goes on about PORTS and the development of shipping containers wow!! We go back, way back, to a previous guest and discuss at length the sources of all our supply chain issues. THEN el sooper definitely forgets to erase a thing that he should not have said at all. LOOK FOR IT! It happens when you least expect it. ALSO the contradiction at the heart of the Critical Race Theory debate and also that dude from the Associated Press is real jack@$$!! And we talk about the View! And there is a bad word. Sorry. Also bad photograph podcasting. HOW MEXCITING! Go listen now.
THIS WEEK the candied yam ma’am and el sooper talk about our long national nightmare being over, then we wonder why Superman is being accused of loving a dude named Luis. ALSO we talk about California’s new law banning gas-powered equipment and the illegal alien uprising against it! Then el Sooper gives advice about what candy to give out at Halloween, it’s horrible, also we talk some transgender misreporting, and then Jess tries to make el Sooper sad with the final few minutes but he REFUSES to fall for it!! WOW! Go listen now!! And raise your kids dammit. They're like prisoners.
THIS WEEK we got the candied yam ma’am Jessica Heddings, and we discuss how she is a cravings slave!!
Also el Sooper encourages people to drink grass, even though he drinks a trans-margarita. Then el sooper gives us a history lesson about money-lending and what Aristotle told the Catholics. WOW! Also crass commercialism and the horrible free market. ALSO we have a great conversation about a controversy surrounding a hit netflix foreign movie with subtitles. IT’S GREAT!!! Also el sooper defends the free market. Again. THen he defends the two Petito cops!! WOW! Go listen now!!
This WEEK we got a JESS and we talk a lot about how old we are and our ailments, just like old people!! Drink your leafy greens and defund your butts!! El Sooper gets hit by a trans-margarita, who was NOT a margarita on her birth certificate, he gets falsely accused of being a gout-spreader, and then we talk some CSI:Cat edition. ALSO there’s the first part of a new four part weekly segment!! Then el SOoper discusses his big problem with disappearing indigenous people and the conspiracy theory twitter brain thinking that has ensnared the liberals. ALSO el Sooper chokes on almond live on the podcast!! And he blames nurse Jilly for it. WOW!! All this and more on the this week’s edition of the SooperTransMargaritaCast!!
THIS WEEK we have a Jess and we talk about whether 2020 is worse or better than 2021!! It’s a pretty great time. We talk a lot about how awful everything is, and then we talk AOC at the Met Gala, also el Sooper talks about how the horrible horrible humanitarian crisis at the border and also the horrible horrible humanitarian crisis in Afghanistan that no one cares about! WOW! Also we thank the New York Times. Don’t cancel us. ALSO we talk about the FDA and the Aususuk, the UkAusus, the USdoctorOCK tripartite agreement for nuclear subs that are not nuclear. WOW!! Then el Sooper talks about how he was so so right about the Sept. 18 protest, so you’re gonna be subjected to that. Then there’s the greatest twitter thread of kids saying creepy stuff ever!! You’ll love it. It’s early Halloween stuff. Enjoy! You must go listen now!!
THIS WEEK we got another stirring podcast for you, but mostly it’s full of Jessica angrily denouncing Biden over the debacle in Afghanistan. Not so much fun. THEN el Sooper makes fun of the pillow guy some more. And the Kraken Lady and also Lin Manuel!! Also let’s see, there’s alligator news and elevator news and we combine them together for laughs!! Then there’s the stripper girl powerpoint and the two-month delta cycle!! Also there’s some personal Jess disaster hurricane news!! Also are air conditioners making us weak?! Also there are cows in trees, and then El Sooper talks about modern day John Adams!! And it is very depressing. Go forth and betray the cause!! Also listen to the podcast now!!
OK so we're a little late this week because WOW is politics depressing. Anyway we finally get down to business, and unfortunately, we talk about Afghanistan for a long time. We apologize. THEN we talk about slightly less depressing stuff that we can make fun of, like the origins of the sad gypsy cat and how el Sooper became KING of the possums!! Sorry Matt. Also there's a Matt update and el Sooper does a Matt impersonation which everyone loves. Also I discover that Ben Dreyfuss is my Afghanistan, then we talk some landlord stuff and also Y the last man and also Clarissa Ward and the case of the stupid Twitter gotcha-brains!! Also we tackle the wokey-ban. WOKEY-BAN!! You must listen go listen now.
WE ARE BACK!! We are back to come and GETT’R with our gweets!! Get ready for some gweets while we say goodbye to the fleets!! This week we talk all about the great big COVID mess! WOW!! That’s not a lot of fun. It’s all just frustration and death and catsup junkies. Then we talk some China and Olympics, is that right? Not sure. Also Andrew Cuomo is a hot mess and we got the return of lickerish!! We got some MATT updates and joy thieving puppies, and then we all HIPAA violate each other. Also I tell a crackhead story! ALSO the strange saga of New Mexico House of Representatives Speaker and Whip Rep. Sheryl Williams Stapleton (D-Corruption)!!! And all them damn foreigners are bringing the hoax virus across our borders!! Enjoy, we’re back!!
THIS WEEK we had a Jess on, and we talked about dislap, the best decorating product in Tartarus. Also we talk slow Norwegian tourist show for some reason and the gweets, get your gweets. There’s a little bit about the kraken lady, and some kracks, and the Gettr version of Catsup and honestly, where the heck did catsup come from?! Also slow-TV and joy-thieving puppies. Go gettr some catsup!!
THIS WEEK we get Jess yet again!! WOW!! We talk about Don DeSantis a lot, because someone made us!! Also some Joe Rogan talk, and a lot about Jonah Goldberg forcing me to watch pornographic cable television scenes... indirectly. WOW! You have to listen right now!!
THIS WEEK el Sooper and la Jess talk about no one knowing what used eggs mean, and we still don’t know. Then we talk about the end of the national katchup shortage. ALSO a whole lot about the lab leak theory and also about scientists and the problem with science. Then Jess enlightens the soop on what happened at the Supreme Court, but Sooper then rips into John Stewart while Jess beckons C.W. onto the podcast, but not in a bad way, noooo of course not. Then Jess says it’s a dry heat a lot. Whatever with that jazz. Go listen to Ghetto Supastar. It’s a good song. But before that listen to the Sooperpodcast #438.
THIS WEEK on the 437th sooperpodcast, we have the illustrious petite sophisticate Jessica Heddings on the show!! And it didn’t take a month to do it! WOW! We mostly bore you with details from our lives and then we get into the nittiest of gritties!! Glorious glorious politics!! El Sooper explains why that incredibly popular conspiracy theory thread about single family homes being bought up by nefarious scheming corporation is mostly a bunch of bollocks. Excuse my foreign language. Then we talk some peacock, so I hope you’re ready for some peacock talk!! Including a peacock impression. Also what’s the deal with all of this unemployment? And wages going up and everything going up?! And what’s the deal with this Chipotle raisin’ their prices?! Go forth and listen with nary a care!! Also el Sooper explains frothiness and we don’t mean his beer. Now go get some used eggs.
THIS WEEK WE HAVE THE GLORIOUS RETURN OF.... Jessica Heddings. Which is what you wanted, right? That's... who you wanted to return to the podcast. Jess. Yes. Jess. ALSO there is a SooperMexican and we talk mostly about the mystery of the etymological origin of catsup. Then we have almond updates and then Jessica forces el Sooper to talk about the lab leak theory and we're not talkin' incontinent labrador dogs. Also el Sooper talks his favorite topic - the newest conspiracy theories that are gnawing at the very fabric of our glorious Republic and destroying our faith in the pillars of society! Wooohoo!! Also we talk some flamin' Fauci email material. Also there is Christ consciousness and the DUMBs you have to hear about the DUMBs!!! There are explosions. It's great, and it's what the public demanded, kinda. Enjoy.
Hello, it's me the SMOTUS just updating you all on where we are on when you can expect a new sooperpodcast. WOW!! If Jess doesn't come back soon, I will start recording solo podcast and ain't nobody wants that.
THIS WEEK we try to catch up on the last three weeks of news, but really we just do the last thirty minutes or so. We talk about the Barr continuing to get Gaetz, and also Giuliani's arrest. Then EL SOOPER pontificates about how terrible social media is and how it's not really real and how we can ALL DEFEAT IT. Without signing off. ALSO el sooper talks about the final answer to the minimum wage debate! WOW!! Then we basically recap the great podcast that I heard last week. AND also what happens when my friends and family ask me about politics, it's a HOOT!! Also more economics and the economy and wow it's so great go listen right now!!
This week on the somewhat-weekly hit of wisdom and knowledge we go over ALL of the Gaetz Shenanigans, including the Tucker Carlson interview and underage girls and having dinner with women and the FBI and extortion. We are so uberplussed!! And boy is it terse. Also we talk about pillow immunity and then I whine about dum peeple on Twitter and how stupid it makes our brainmeats!! Yes, again. Then we mexcoriate all those people talking trash about Georgia, a state which, frankly, I’m getting more and more enamored with every news cycle!! THEN el Sooper investigates the FAILING LYING New York Times, and you won’t be shocked to find out what I found out! WOW! ALSO my mission is revealed, yES!! And Dana alerts us to the Katchup Shortage. WOW! Go listen now!
This week we talk about great conservative men who have choked on small bite size foodstuffs, and also the Wander Woman, both episodes, and then there’s a lot of poor chosely, and update on the progress on the tiny knob museum. Then there’s a lot of joy thievery articles including a horrible kiosk skull crushing. ALSO there’s a charming story about the terrible composer Philip Glass and how Twitter is stupid and ruins it. Then there’s a PSA for the people and we talk about gay Captain America and what he would be a hundred years ago. Then there’s some roundabout chicanery and el Sooper defends self-absorbed selfies (again) and revitalizing Instagram hipsters, also we have fanmail that it not really fanmail. Yay. The we stole content from Buzzfeed because we hate that they steal content from twitter. Wait. Anyway ENJOY your somewhat-weekly hit of wisdom and knowledge wow!!
THIS WEEK we find out they are always listening all the time, and we have a Jess but no Matt, though we talk about him at length, then we talk about good news and bad news about our listeners, yes that is YOU we’re talking about!! Then we talk about the supposed story that Soop told about using the wrong word. We tell the people. Also you poor chosely, dammit! Then we talk about how them Southerners are just like us Messicans and the species dysphoria. Wow! Then there’s the big green screen Biden conspiracy theory!! And Hallmark Bezos ex, also someone stole the old chip off the old blockbuster, and then more on the little museum and a Bill Gates sooper-spiracy also spuds have no gender and racist depictions of Asians! What? WOW!! We have everything!! You have to listen right now probably wow!!
THIS WEEK we explain why we’re happy about old white people hitting pinatas and then Jess explains, or rather jessplains, what cascarones are, which I’m pretty sure she made up. THEN we walk about what stores whose aisles we would prance among an betwixt. And what would we call the next iteration of Blockbuster? It’s brilliant!! Also Jess tries really hard not to make scandalous POLL jokes or Almond jokes. Also the sooper esplains how to run a REAL authentic pinata breaking party, not one of your fake gringo appropriation parties. WOW! Then el Sooper whines about kids these days and how they don’t appreciate finding new things anyway because he’s a grumpy old mexican dammit. Also TINY old lady Museums!! Then el Sooper does a poll about the virus, and we try to end hopeful but then we fail. WOW! You have to go listen now!! Read a book, read a book, read a gashdarn book!
It's Sooperpodcast 430 from our old numbering system!! THIS WEEK on the annual sooperpodcast we talk about the great big news everyone is talking about! YES, the Piggly Wiggly story!! And is Aldi’s just a trash version of Sprouts?! We discuss at nauseating length!! El Sooper talks about the nonagenarian who scammed him this week, and also the cat turd grifter with a short memory! We also discuss CPAC for not every long and why we’re completely doomed. How fun!! Also some monkey talk and QAnon pillow talk and how to eat a coconut talk in the ghetto. You get ALL of your money’s worth this week from the free podcast! And I curse at the end, sorry. Go listen right now!
THIS WEEK on the sooperpodcast #429, Jess freaks out when she loses her lists and el Sooper makes fun of her. We congratulate Chris Stirewalt on his new gig and talk about the Gorilla Glue lip guy and also GoFundMe shenanigans. Also Rush died. And then there was a pillow fight and also there’s three moms and a clickbaity photo, right before the hair bashes the turtle, and el Sooper is scared of national Almond day, but you should have bought Twitter stock but probably not buy it right now. SO go listen! WOW! There is no Matt, there never was any Matt.
THIS WEEK on Sooperpodcast 428!! It gets wild. We talk about the four insane Wednesdays in January. We start off with el Sooper talking about he just found out that he sounds like a jerk! What?! We do a short recap of the NFL conference championships where all our hearts were broken and crapped upon. THEN we talk about all the nuts in politics and how we cannot stand them all and we just want out!! On the way we Stirewalt the Stirewalt, and also the Reddit GameStop uprising rebellion, and where it is right and where it is wrong. SO MUCH FUN. Then el Sooper talks about how Charles Payne stabbed him in the heart and crapped on it. NO MORE FUN STOP IT I CAN’T TAKE IT. It’s intellectual GLUTTONY for your brain, stupid!! Go get a substack. Then we talk about meme crimes from 2015, and Jess’s calumnies and what the meanest nurse said to el sooper in the DMs, and a funny tweet. Because everyone loves funny tweets. ALSO Chinese butthole coronavirus testing. Come watch the doom unfold with us. Or listen to it anyway. Whatever.
427!! THIS WEEK!! We have a Jess and no Matt, if you see our Matt wandering about please don’t approach him, he bites!! THIS WEEK we talk about the horrible terrible things that are afflicting our blessed Republic, and also how to pronounce various synonyms of the word lascivious, why we have licorice toads, and some questions from the Papillondemonium!! We esplode the Twitter brain thinking of conspiracy theories and why they’re destroying our blessed Republic, also other prurient, lubricious matters! WOW! NO POLE JOKES!! And don’t be paddling those theories. Then we stirewalt some stuff, there’s some Dana Dana Dana talk, and we make fun of a website. SO FUN!! Come watch the doom unfold with us. Or listen to it anyway. Whatever.
THIS WEEK on the smutty semantic satiation podcast we have a Jessica and there is still no MATT! Sorry matt fans. We do have an update on almond choking and the clock is unfortunately reset on choking incidents. ALSO we discuss why people love conspiracy theories! My favorite subject!! Also sooper gives you tips on happiness wow!! Jess gets all teary eyed about something but el Sooper was not listening as per usual. Then we talk about how to say hard words and then Jess forgets a story that el Sooper told her a long time ago and he gets to tell her for a third time. WOW! Also Hilaria. Don't vacillate you Jessurrectioners!! Go listen NOW!!
Hello everybody unfortunately we could not record for the New Year's Eve because Jess is out boozing it up somewhere and we can't find Matt. So you're stuck with me. Sorry!! Anyway, also there's a very sad flashback. Enjoy! Happy NEW YEAR'S!!!
THIS WEEK we have a Jess and we still don't have a Matt, we're looking out there if anyone sees him wandering about, send him our way!! We talk about choking on almonds and the knob squad, and also the Pappillons sooper exclusive DMs line!! Also, politics I guess and then the Russian hack and the zoom hack and some glandsplaining shenanigans! WOW!! Go listen now.
THIS WEEK we have a Jess and we discuss all of the stories that we missed because we were too drunk and full of the season's cheer to record last week!! Actually we cover a few of them not all, like for instance, why our Fox News patron saint got a potty mouth last week, and a depressing update about the GOP implosion in Georgia, and also we talk about Kamala trying to kill Joe Biden, and also why we can't trust China because China is asshoe!! Ironically, there's no cursing in this one, I think. And finally, the baby albino cyclops shark! Wow you have to listen right now!!
THIS WEEK we have a short podcast as it is the day before the giving of thanks. We talk about the impending pie-apocalypse, and also the typotoad. It’s a very special thanksgiving edition of the sooperpodcast!! With toe-smashing Jess and el Sooper special Sooper!! She also says YPOU, and we don't explain why we say that over and over. Also there's conspiracy theories and exhortations and recriminations! WOW!!
THIS WEEK we talk about some nefarious butt defunding, then some sneering condescension, and then el Sooper says that the psephologists have some splainin’ to do. Then el Sooper mexsplains why it is that some Mexicans chose to vote for Trump over the Bidened one, and then he gives his theory about the big fish and the small fish. And Jess yells at Georgia. It’s the woadie-cast! No capes were stolen nor were nuts threatening to choke anyone. Go listen now!!
THIS WEEK we don’t have a Matt yet again. The MATT is gone but we got a JESS and we don’t fight! We have a very pleasant and nice conversation. Jess got a weird phone call and we talk about that, then Jess mocks my election article post. Then we talk about our election results confidence and we do some hack rank punditry about the polling, and we quote the Stirewalt, and we talk about the coming civil war and how it’s not coming, and some emoticon of hope. Then we talk about the plozzma, and Trump’s closing arguments and the Spanish because it’s not pandering when he does it, and also the closing argument Trump tweets, and a tiny little adorable bitey Trumper zombie, and a pretty amazing drinking game for the podcast. And murdering animal pot poopers. There’s a lot of sneering condescension and also pale faced gringos will be the deciding vote in the election. And that’s the wodie-cast. God bless you peoples. Let’s get this God forsaken election over.
This week! We don’t have a MATT but we have a Jessica and we talk about loud keyboards and then I recall the glories of the #GringoArmy, then there’s a weird interruption we have difficulties, we have technical difficulties but we suffer through. THEN we continue and we give our assessment of the debate, sorry, it’s politics and we hate ourselves, then we mock the leeeberals and the coyotes and all the coyotes bringing the leetle latinos over the border, also we talk about el Sooper’s brain and how it thinks and it gets weird, then he guesses what a logo of a store is, and then also Jessica stuns and shocks him with new information he didn’t know before. And also we talk about hats hats and more hats and it’s wonderful. They’re not nuts, they’re almonds. WOW go listen!!
THIS WEEK we have Matt back unfortunately and it’s been two weeks and we’re sorry, well I’m sorry, they don’t care, they don’t care AT ALL. Matt calls Sooper an A-hole for some reason, we talk about Ken Paxton, former MLB player, then we go into the YAT ATTACK quiz!! Also el Sooper tries get out of the podcast without a big drag out argument, but they won’t let him. But before that he talks about and rages about recycling. THEN WE ARGUE. We argue so bad. SO this is what happened, they ask me about California but they don’t actually want my opinion they just want to be like “it’s so liberal and stupid we hate it boo yay Trump!!” so when I actually give my opinion then they both come back with stupid crap and they’re very angry that I won’t just give them the satisfying twitter gotcha that everyone else wants. Sorry, oh wait no I’m not. Yeah, it’s that bad. ENJOY!!
THIS WEEK, wow so much happened after we stopped recording, and we didn't touch ANY OF IT. Instead, we talked about sentences with periods, and we had a MATT and we had one tiny little JESS, and we talked about what you can fit in your rectum, the whole thing with that lady that done gonna be on the SCOTUS, a little bit of ooooh chita, and then I make them denounce things because that’s what we do now. Then we start a new game called guess that word that is derived from nahuatl! SO much fun!! Yes, go listen. There will be updates, but sorry there was cursing. Also I yelled at Matt.
THIS WEEK we have only a MATT and no Jess!! We have an intellectual decision about the bosoms of various major brand mascots, how to get some plozzma doing, and how to get to the PAPPIZE!! And curiously, Matt actually guesses my new game show before I even mention it. WOW!! You must listen now!!
THIS WEEK we get all depressed about coronavirus then el Sooper explains why Twitter is making us all doomed or maybe we’re not doom but at least he comes up with a new word and it’s amazing. Then we talk about our new show, Guess! That! Statistic!! [Applause!] Also el Sooper talks about dumb Twitter brain gotchas and unfortunately he criticizes Matt behind his back and behind his front, sorry about that Mattsparagus, and finally he makes a revealing sooper-gaffe! WOW!! You must listen now!!
This WEEK we get a MATT back, we apologize. El SOOPER has a great idea for a YouTube series called “What how what how,” and you will love it. Then we talk about Europe and then el sooper drinks too much and starts yelling at Matt about his horrible terrible arguments and he quotes Aristotle and Plato and it’s GREAT! But then he has to apologize later. You WILL LOVE IT wow. Also the dystopian movie plans and how to bring happiness to the people! WOW! Listen right now!!
THIS WEEK we get rid of Matt, who is not woke enough and has been cancelled, so we have woke JESS instead! We talk about how to bring joy to the people and a little bit of politics and how Trump is blowing it right now. Also the rat story. WOW!! You have to listen right now!! No Matts.
THIS WEEK we return after taking a mental break holiday and we explain why we took a week off! WOW! Sorry Dana, there is no yelling and screaming this week, but there IS a lot of talk about Spanish and the roni and the riots! All in this week's "I regret to be associated with you people" podcast!!
THIS WEEK we have the lovely and brilliant Dana Perino and her equally brilliant and loverly husband Peter McMahan on the show for the 400th podcastravaganza!! The internet carefully kicks me out of the chat while Peter tells a mortifying true story, then we bore people and meander, and talk about our worst one-star podcast review. It’s amazing. THEN Matt bores us hydrochloroquine facts, then Dana tells us why the BabylOnion Game is a terrible game. THEN we have a Dana Dana Dana quiz! But Jess interrupts to tell the block Matt story. Then Peter tells another joke and Matt bores us with more geography! WOW!! Then we ditch the Perino/McMahons and start yelling and screaming at each other because Dana told us to. WOw! ENJOY IT OR DIE!!
THIS WEEK! We have both Tammy Charlene Jess and Daryl Duane Matt!! We talk about Sisyphus and fried chicken and knitted voodoo dolls, which you could have guessed from the title, I guess. Also some more BabylOnion game show!! And the Snake Eyes costume saga. WOw!! Don't get done disappeared on this one...
THIS WEEK we have both FaucaBirx stalker OsteoperoJess and Voltron-hating RheuMattitis and we talk a little bit about coronavirus and a LOT about bathrooms and bathroom etiquette. This one gets weird, y'all. Just remember, I told you never to ask me about my business...
THIS WEEK we have both vinyl vixens on the sooperpodcast, and we talk about all sorts of stuff! We have a surprising choking update from MATT and also we talk about CNN sucking up to communism! Then el Sooper goes into distress about the math story that obliterated his little brown brain this week! WOW! Also Matt continues denying coronavirus exists, and we discuss all the drama around the Bernie OK Boomer girl! WOW! You have to listen now!
THIS WEEK we have RheuMattroid and OsteoperoJess and we get into a horse-faced pony soldier debate about the dreaded CoronEbolAids virus! Finally we dispel the mystery about hurlbutt! Wow! Then Matt tries not to spoil “Don’t EFF with Cats” on Netflix, then el Sooper explains devil worshippers on military bases. Also the mystery of where Brock Lennon was done disappeared to! Then El Sooper gives us all a history lesson on Black History and then Matt gives us all a less fascinating history about the Monguls! WOW!
THIS WEEK we talk about politics after the great sooper Dana book club podcast which was sooperlong. Actually we just talk about the times that people mentioned the podcast on twitter and asked us questions. Also the return of hurlbutt. And the impeachment of Jessic Heddings. Then Roger Stones and the Unions! WOw! Go forth and enjoy this podcast.
What a special show we have for you. This week we are joined by the luminous and erudite Dana Perino, and we discuss the controversy surrounding the novel "American Dirt." We have Matt Dawson and Jessica Heddings, and it gets very heated. Dana joins us for the first half of the podcast, and then Sooper and Jess yell at each other for about half an hour, just as the listeners have demanded! We hope you enjoy the show, and we highly recommend reading the novel, "American Dirt." There are spoilers, but we warn you before we launch into them.
THIS WEEK we have a short Christmas podcast and we have a MATT and NO JESS because he’s bored and wants to podcast which is the best reason to podcast, right? FOr some reason he rambles on about catsup? I couldn’t figure it out. Also a new conspiracy! And yogurt enemas. Also el Sooper flips out about socialism. Don’t take it for granite! Listen right NOW!!
THIS WEEK we talk about our Thanksgivins and how the climate tried to murder Jessica and also we discuss which superhero would tan their nether regions. Also el Sooper gives us all an iPhone instantaneous gratification challenge, but no one will take it, and also on solitary confinement. ALSO el Sooper explains when it is best to put up a Christmas tree for the holiday season. Also what is King’s Day?! And a request from all the listeners. WOW you have to listen right now!
THIS WEEK it’s just me and MATT and we talk about… oh World War II for some reason and if the nukes were justified, and also Big Gulps and are Keurigs capitalist or communist, also how dumb are those airPod thingies?! And you see what happened was China has imperialist compulsions and also RICK AND MORTY [sorry Dana]! And why there’s nothing new under the sun, and stop over-philosophizing things. WOW you have to listen now!!
THIS WEEK!! It's a very short el Sooper Podcast with el Sooper and nobody else because it's MY podcast, so there!!! We revisit olden tweets from drunekn bitter pathetic Thanksgivings of old! WOW! You're gonna love it.