Lockdown Dads: Recent Episodes
James Millar & Ian Dinwiddy
James Millar and Ian Dinwiddy are recording a weekly ‘show’ exploring the impact of lockdown, self isolation and social distancing on working dads. We’ll share tips, thoughts and stories with special guests, discuss our hopes for the future and the opportunities that all this represents, especially for dads who want to be more active and involved fathers but who until now have struggled with the expectations of what it means to be a man in the workplace.:https://www.inspiringdads.co.uk/lockdown-dads
In this, the last episode of Lockdown Dads, James and I reflect on 18 months of pandemic podcasting as England celebrates "Freedom Day."
The truth is that the fear of catching Covid, home school disruption, and getting through the days are as prevalent as ever. We consider some of the hopelessly optimistic predictions we made in year - lockdown could be all over by June!? But also the certainty of the stay at home messaging v the weariness and low level anxiety of July 2021.
We talk about some of the guests that stuck in our minds and the good, the bad and the absurd of the tips we shared. Who can forget James' pants discussion with Jessica Chivers (Ep20) or Ian going with "it's time to check your energy bills" with Will, drummer in Coldplay (Ep35).
We put to bed the rumour that the best guests are ones with 50,000 Insta followers like Ian's brother Chris (!), and discuss the amazingly practical mindful dad - Ady Griffiths (Ep23) and less than amusing circumstances that comics Philip Simon (Ep6) and Tiernan Douieb (Ep3) faced throughout the pandemic. We talk about research and data, emotionally tricky episodes with Rhian Mannings MBE (Ep38) and Brian Ballantyne (Ep37) and having a laugh with Nathan McGurl (Ep31) and Jamie Beaglehole (Ep34)
So for the moment that is the end of Lockdown Dads, at least in this guise!
And our parting wish is, don't forget that "good enough is good enough."
Our final guest on Lockdown Dads is Will McDonald, Group Sustainability and Public Policy Director at Aviva plc aka "The Job Share Dad."
As one half of the most senior male job share in the UK, Will is a bit of a hero in the dad space, shining a light on the rare world of job sharing (especially when it comes to men)
We learn about Will's path at Aviva and how a conversation about wanting to explore a job share became a work "marriage" to Sam that has lasted 4 years already.
We discover the principles of job share.
- You don't have to like your job share, but you do have to trust them.
- Sharing an email address or not?
- When in charge, take charge.
- You can only u-turn on your own decision.
And how to set up a job share
- Having imagination.
- The vital role of line manager support.
- Create confidence with a business plan.
- Talking to other job sharers
- 6 month escape clause
With his dad hat on (5 years as chair of trustees at the Fatherhood Institute), Will talks about Aviva and their flagship work equalising parental leave, removing the financial and cultural stigma of dad taking extended leave and the some of the benefits of supporting dads.
- Couples are less likely to divorce.
- Children are happier.
- Dads less likely to have issues with alcohol.
- Mums are likely to earn more.
TIPS
How to grow carrots effectively (!)
Imagination - start with a blank sheet of paper and be imaginative.
Notepad next to your bed.
The Fatherhood Institute report Lockdown Dads: The Untold Story
http://www.fatherhoodinstitute.org/wp-content/uploads/2021/05/Lockdown-Fathers-Executive-Summary.pdf
McKinsey - Paternity Leave benefits
https://www.mckinsey.com/business-functions/organization/our-insights/a-fresh-look-at-paternity-leave-why-the-benefits-extend-beyond-the-personal
Olga Fitzroy, award winning sound engineer and parental pay equality campaigner joins us to discuss inequalities faced by the self employed. We discover her role in Pregnant Then Screwed's legal challenge against the government and discuss the legislative environment around self employment and shared parental leave.
Plus school is out again, with education disruption only just starting to be discussed in government. Ian's garden gets short listed for a prize and we briefly ponder the upcoming England v Scotland Euro clash (!)
Olga's path
When her son was born in 2015, she was a self employed sound engineer and looked into the new policy of Shared Parental Leave, only to discover that the self employed aren't allowed to take it
Q, Did you know that self employed men have no paid paternity leave rights?
What started as mission to send a few emails - which would quickly lead to a realisation that the policy needed to fixed... became an ongoing campaign involving the Musician's Union, former and current MPs, Shadow Ministers and a presence in both the Labour and Lib Dem manifestos.
Despite Theresa May commissioning a review of parental leave with the Department for Business, Energy & Industrial Strategy (BEIS), Brexit and Covid focus has stalled progress, though Olga explains there are a number of key allies on the government benches
We discuss the benefits of Shared Parental Leave
Mums being able to take less time off, dads get to take more time off, closing the gender pay gap, reducing the motherhood penalty and how a mother's income increases for every month that a father spent at home.
McKinsey evidence that mothers’ incomes rose about 7 percent for each month that a father spent at home on paternity leave.
SPL is good for children and for role modelling for young kids, for redressing the Covid impact and creating a gender equal recovery.
...and the challenges in achieving policy change
A lack of genuine experience of self employment in government and civil service, plus a lack of bandwidth, so it's hard to get access.
We talk about the plight of day care v a government focus on 'Winkie' Infrastructure
Pregnant then Screwed.
Olga sits on the campaign and policy board, leading on the sex discrimination case against the government as to how the Self-Employment Income Support Scheme (SEISS) is calculated - with periods of maternity leave not being exempted from the self-employed grant calculations. We learn that PTS have been given leave to appeal the original decision in favour of the government.
Tips
Period https://www.amazon.co.uk/Period-Natalie-Byrne/dp/1999894111
Delayed gratification
Self employed can still get 30 hours free childcare if their income has dropped as a result of Covid
Links
http://www.parentalpayequality.org.uk/
https://pregnantthenscrewed.com/
https://www.workingdads.co.uk/role-modelling-working-dads/
https://pregnantthenscrewed.com/were-threatening-legal-action-against-the-chancellor-for-indirect-sex-discrimination/
https://www.gov.uk/30-hours-free-childcare
Simon Gregory, Managing Partner of GPS Return joins us to talk about parental return to work and we explore the differing challenges faced by men and women.
We discuss how societal expectations influence the opportunities to return to work and later access flexible working and how Simon's business supports and coaches individuals and businesses to find the right person or right opportunity for now.
James explains why T.W.A.T working is the next big trend while Simon talks about his 288 mile 24 hour cycle from Harrogate to Southampton raising money for Macmillan in memory of his auntie Ruth - the BBC's Reverend Ruth Scott.
Simon's 'path' includes a heavy focus on relationship management in overseas markets, before his wife's experience of struggling to get back into work because she has "just been a mum for 4 years" lead to the creation of GPS Return.
Simon explains how he works with businesses to understand what they think they need v what they actually need. Exploring assumptions and possibilities about hours, location and flexibility to get the best people for the roles.
We discuss the different challenges that dads face returning to the workplace, including how men are treated less favourably than women and the societal issues that creates and how if dads are as likely to take time out for childcare businesses become more likely to employ female returners.
TIPS
DAD - Untold Stories from Music. Football. Fatherhood. Ordinary dads telling ordinary stories, but in an extraordinary collection.
Don't forget about you, make time for yourself.
Moral maze - "Does your husband play?" homophobic or sexist? and how to challenge?
LEARN MORE
https://www.gpsreturn.co.uk/
https://www.workingdads.co.uk/author/simon-gregory/
https://www.justgiving.com/fundraising/ruthscott24
To mark the publication of the Fatherhood Institute's new report "Lockdown Dads - the Untold Story", we sat down with Dr Jeremy Davies, Head of Communications, to discuss fatherhood, the opportunities presented by the pandemic and what exactly is "the untold story"
After we covered dodgy backs, out for beers and Moroccan pandemic experiences, we learnt about Jeremy's path. Journalist, becoming a father in 1999, a PhD and joining Father's Direct, the organisation that later became the Fatherhood Institute with the benefits of living the values of flexible working and active and involved fatherhood.
What is the Untold Story?
- Dads back in the home on a scale unseen since the industrial revolution.
- Dads have done more unpaid childcare and domestic labour than ever before.
- In many families the care gap has narrowed.
- Dads attitudes towards caring responsibilities have changed.
- Dads have seen the mental health benefits of their presence.
- The world has got much more comfortable with flexible and remote work.
- Despite the challenges Dads want more flexible and remote working
The media focus
- The pandemic story in the mass media has been focused on doom and gloom around motherhood, mums facing the brunt of the home-school challenge, being made redundant and furloughed in greater numbers than dads.
- Gender inequalities have always been there, but lockdowns shone a light on it.
- Stories about the impact on dads being tagged on at the end or not at all.
The Future?
-
Timewithdad call to arms.
- Building on the best bits of dad's engagement at home.
- Flex has been around for ages, but traditionally seen as being for women with caring responsibilities.
- Dads are new voices for change.
- Dads have the power to change things as James' tweet illustrates
https://twitter.com/PoliticalYeti/status/1395382322355134470?s=20
Plus we talked about the challenges
- How can we keep more men flexible?
- Dads with relatively long commutes means even more benefits from working from home.
- How schools communicate with dads.
- Dads being more involved can create a challenge for mum's identity and how things are 'done'.
In our regular tips section...
- Dads role modelling equality at home for their daughters.
- Switch phone off when we are with kids.
- Do the boring stuff as well as the exciting. Sometimes those are the magic moments.
Lockdown Dads: The Untold Story
http://www.fatherhoodinstitute.org/wp-content/uploads/2021/05/Lockdown-Fathers-Executive-Summary.pdf
http://www.fatherhoodinstitute.org/2021/contemporary-fathers-in-the-uk/
Coach, consultant and 'living system', we talk to Ethan about his journey from googling 'male trapped in female body' to father of two, including a lockdown baby.
We discuss the power of flexible working as an enabler for Ethan to be the person and the dad he wanted to be and how a throw away comment about a new kitten - 'Look! Two mummies' was the catalyst for the addressing the fundamental identity crisis his life and ultimately lead to visiting the Alternative Parenting Show.
We cover the role of allies, the things Ethan has learnt from reciprocal coaching with BAME coachees and how talking empowers others to share their story and creates ripples of understanding.
In an unusual tangent, we stumble across the story that Ethan parents are head and deputy head at the school he went to and where also his daughter has been at nursery. Definitely a family affair!
We chat about the importance of listening to lived experience, intersectionality and asking people what they need, especially with 2021 and the return to the work place.
Plus make sure you listen properly to your children to avoid the sombre school lesson of 'soldiers and poppies' becoming a somewhat more upbeat tale of (heads,) 'shoulders and puppies'
And we talk vaccinations, Friday night (hockey) action in Bromley and the joy of planning to do things.
Tips include
Little steps - the email signature
Leave your phones outside the bedroom
Journaling for kids
https://boundcoaching.co.uk/
https://twitter.com/ethansalathiel
https://www.linkedin.com/in/ethan-salathiel-he-him-his-b7043238/
Eternity Leave is a wry, semi autobiographical novel about being a stay at home dad, and the author, Simon Kettlewell, joined James and Ian to talk about his inspiration from over 20 years as primary carer to his four children. It's story that had extra chapters added in Lockdown as older children returned home and his 16 year old son struggled with remote learning.
We learn about his path from NHS clinician and manager via working in mental health services in Eastern Europe to a rural idyll in Devon, where he combined novel writing, growing vegetables and raising chickens (with varying degrees of success)
In his own words on LinkedIn:
"Wrote 1 best seller and dried up. Looked after 4 children for 20 years so wrote a novel about that. People seem excited."
We talk about the joys of going "somewhere else", exchanging Christmas presents in the carpark at Stonehenge and Ian finds joy in dabbling in Crypto.
Plus we explore the one-dimensional portrayal of fatherhood in "mummy-lit", the importance of conversations about equality and childcare before children arrive and more lessons from "How to disagree respectively" by Ian Leslie, James is current favourite book!
Tips include
Lessons in masculinity from Falcon and the Winter Soldier
Mediation in the sun
Dads, put the time in now, reap the benefits later
https://simonkettlewell.co.uk/
https://twitter.com/SIMONKETTLEWELL
We look back at the guests, the stories and the tips that caught our eye since January.
00:30 Weathermen, Ian’s course development, Covid scare at school and Couch to 5k
03:00 James finally gets physio on his back
05:15 Working from home with kids around
06:30 The return to office life and the Goldman Sachs way of working
09:00 Are the government actually consulting on flexible working rights?
11:00 Linking working patterns to gender equality
12:00 Home-school since January
14:00 The novelty wearing off for Dads?
15:00 We discuss John Adams and Dr Jasmine Kelland LinkedIn Live - Parents in the Pandemic
17:25 Stand out moments with Nathan McGurl, Dan Stanley and Will Champion
19:00 Lessons from Coldplay, Wise Brian Ballantyne, Practical tips from Louise Goss and Rhian Mannings’ story
21:00 Planning the summer season
22:00 Joining the dots between sexual violence and equality in the home
28:30 Looking back at the season tips
31:30 This Week’s Tips
- Read Rob Parsons - The Heart of Success
- Open Easter eggs with your head (and why not?!)
Next Lockdown Dads will be 28th April 2021
In 2012 Rhian Mannings’ life suddenly and tragically changed when first her young son George died, followed 5 days later by her husband Paul.
In this important and uplifting conversation, we explore how support was missing for bereaved parents like Rhian and Paul and how, what she imagined would be “hobby”, turned into a nationwide charity called 2 Wish Upon A Star providing immediate and ongoing bereavement support for families, individuals and professionals affected by the sudden and traumatic death of a child or young adult aged 25 or under.
We learn about the importance of the elephant in the bereavement box (and in the room) and discuss “masculinities” and how they have an impact on how and when men seek out the help they need.
Plus we scatter some celebrity stardust from the likes of Sam Warburton, Will Champion, Nick Knowles and Michael Sheen.
Contents
01:00 Spring, getting out the house in Wales, rugby and the importance of sport
03:10 Why The Great Escape is analogy for how James feels
05:40 Rhian’s path to founding 2 Wish Upon a Star. Losing George and Paul.
“Over the next few days, what was clear, very quickly, was that there was no support available to us as a family. We were very much abandoned by the system really. Luckily we had amazing family and friends around us, we were lucky in that respect.”
07:00 Starting the charity - I just needed something to keep me going.
08:30 Lacking support, Paul blamed himself.
“We got a piece of paper with some phone numbers on, some of them were out of order and I'm still waiting for the rest of them to contact me today.”
09:40 Going into A&E departments and asking for the person in charge
“And I said, what will happen today? If a child died suddenly? And the same thing that happened to us would have happened to them.”
11:00 Finding the strength to tell her story
12:30 Ian talks about his friendship with Paul and the first time he met Rhian
14:15 Reflecting on bereavement and how different families have coped with lockdown
15:00 Keeping 2 Wish Upon A Star going during lockdown
16:40 The elephant in the room - memory boxes and remembering
“When George died, I'll never forget the nurses just panicked because they couldn't find anything to perhaps take some fingerprints or hand prints or some, some of his curls.”
19:00 Paul felt like he’d failed everyone
21:00 Multiple masculinities and the pressure men can feel
23:00 Supporting dads - the importance of sport in the charity’s work.
24:30 The Welsh rugby team - role models for mental health
26:00 Celebrity Ambassadors - Will Champion and Nick Knowles
27:00 Super actor Michael Sheen unveiled as new ambassador!
Tips
- Photograph your kids asleep (!)
- Recognise when you nee to plug your battery in
- Understand that reaching out the help is not a sign of weakness, it is often a sign of strength.
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Connect Or Contact With Rhian And Her Charity
https://twitter.com/2wishupon
https://www.2wishuponastar.org/
Learn about the OECD report - “Man Enough”
Brian Ballantyne, Co-Founder of Men for Inclusion, author of “Confessions of a Working Dad” and one time Babycenter moderator joins James and Ian in Episode 37 of Lockdown Dads.
It’s an open and honest discussion in which we discuss what it means to be good ally, how Brian’s own family were a prompt to volunteer in diversity and inclusion voluntary work and why men must be involved if we aren’t just creating inclusion echo chambers.
Plus “Centrist Dads”, Burnout and recharging batteries and how to argue well.
Contents
01:00 A tough week for Brian - lessons in boundaries, batteries and burnout
04:30 Balancing family and personal priorities
06:00 Ian has been shooting video content +
07:00 Social media and men’s attitudes to women’s personal safety
08:00 Ian forgets about James
09:30 James reflects on a bad week for gender equality
11:30 Being a Babycenter moderator
12:45 Dad culture -the time when Brian’s CEO stalked him on Foursquare
14:30 Family influence on diversity and inclusion work.
15:10 Women in Technology echo chambers
17:00 How Male Allies for Gender Equality became Men for Inclusion
19:45 We discuss what allyship means
Tips
23:10
James has been reading Conflicted: Why Arguments Are Tearing Us Apart and How They Can Bring Us Together
Q. What is a Centrist Dad”
Ian recommends previous guest, Rachel Vecht’s quick video on how to extract information from your school age children!
Brian talks about cherishing the small moments
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Connect With Brian
https://www.linkedin.com/company/menforinclusion/
https://www.e2w.co/men-for-inclusion
https://www.linkedin.com/in/brian-ballantyne-336754/
Nicki Seignot, Author of 'Mentoring New Parents at Work' and founder of The Parent Mentor talks to James and Ian in episode 36 of Lockdown Dads.
We discuss why supporting new dads matters, the role single dad Phil played to broadening Nicki’s horizons, beyond just supporting the maternity journey and what the post pandemic work landscape could look like.
Plus the usual podcast musings about schools going back, sunshine (!) and looking forward to better future.
Contents
00:50 The power of daylight in the mornings
02:15 Schools going back
02:45 Competitive world book day
04:00 Ian is looking forward to not apologising…
05:30 Christmas presents (!) and Covid
07:10 Nicki’s path-
- Taking maternity leave in the late 1990s.
- Hard choices and work just not working for mums
- Mum2Mum mentoring programme at Asda
- The important role of single dad, Phil
- That 2011 program became The Parent Mentor business
- Her book - Mentoring New Parents at Work and a realisation that dads weren’t part of the conversation.
“I mean, it sounds obvious talking to you too now, but you know, it was quite revelation at the time.”
13:45 A pivotal moment using a mountain top image as part of icebreaker cards
“He held the card up and he says this was me. And I used to go mountain climbing, cycling, you know, the world was my oyster and I don't know where he is anymore.”
And he literally broke down in the session, and I said to my client afterwards, I said, if you are in any doubt about the power of what you're doing, it's in the room right now. We have to talk to dads too.
14:30 The danger of grouping parents as a single homogeneous group
15:30 The Dad Connect programme
16:15 Mentoring v Coaching
18:50 We talk about reverse mentoring
21:45 “Good enough is good enough”
23:30 Work Life Balance
“It took me to have children to respect my work-life balance and to want work flexibly. Why do we give away all that discretionary time? And why does that have to be a parenting thing to want to work flexibly? So I think in a way the pandemic has given everyone the gift of being able to say, I have a right to a life away from work”
24:00 Hybrid working and the role of line managers
25:50 Incoming culture clash - “working from home is an aberration” ?
26:30 Will there be agenerational split about office working?
28:30 The mechanics of hybrid working models
TipsJames’ choose to challenge on parenting norms
Nicki talks about checking in on a new dad back from paternity leave
Ian has been reading Why we sleep? by Matthew Walker
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Connect With Nicki
www.theparentmentor.co.uk
https://www.linkedin.com/in/nicki-seignot-647b981/
The musician who doesn’t read music, the drummer who didn’t play the drums and a calming, pragmatic influence in Coldplay. In this episode of Lockdown Dads, we discover how a focus on their relationships has been as important as the music, what work life balance means in a band when you have kids and what Will is looking forward to most when lockdown finishes.
Self described (with tongue in cheek) “soft rock dinosaur,” we find out how Will feels about the A Head Full of Dreams documentary - the good, the cringe-worthy and the comforting.
We explore how the pandemic has been for the band, for his family and sadness he feels for artists on the cusp of success - with momentum pulled from under them.
Will talks openly about family, fatherhood and masculinity - the similarities between his role as a dad at home and his role in his second family where fortunately no one is a frustrated frontman!
Luck, personalities, hard work and a focus on relationships and above all else being grateful.
Contents
01:00 Definitely an air of optimism, a bit of light at the end of the tunnel for my kids.
01:50 Not touring with the last album turned out to be almost clairvoyant...
02:45 We're lucky because we can afford to wait and we can we can choose the right time to do it for us
04:00 Ian looking forward to the end of home school and binge watch Marvel films for the first time.
06:20 James - great weather, but an irritating Joe Wicks injury!
08:00 Will’s working dad status - father of three and freelancer
08:56 Olga Fitzroy is like Bruce Wayne. (Read more about her Parental Pay Equality campaign)
“Extraordinary sound engineer and producer by day and a politician and campaigner by night… she's brilliant.”
09:50 Children, touring and balancing family life with work.
12:40 Being in a band is like being in a family.
15:15 Too busy for boxsets, books and learning new languages
17:00 We talk about the A Head Full of Dreams documentary
20:00 The secret to Coldplay longevity - dynamics, personalities, friendships and a bit of luck.
23:30 Will’s lack of previous drumming experience - could Ian have been in Coldplay?
25:30 It’s been tough for Will’s kids, especially his eldest.
27:30 Making memories and making the best of Lockdown - The Quarantine Bar at 5pm on a Friday.
30:45 Studio time, being productive and Brian Eno’s advice
32:30 Weekly zoom calls and very intense, but very productive 2 week slots of time.
33:15 Multiple masculinities - Will’s role as a dad v his role in the band
36:30 Ambition, competition and balance
38:45 What are we going to do first, when we’re allowed - Will visiting his dad.
40:40 This Week’s Bumper Selection Of Tips
More Reading And Links
Annie Lennox (subscribe to read)
https://www.thetimes.co.uk/article/only-if-the-women-s-movement-opens-a-dialogue-with-men-can-we-end-misogyny-c8zxp0pcj
James’ review of previous guest Martin Robinson’s New Book
https://www.workingdads.co.uk/martin-robinson-masculinity-book-you-are-not-the-man-you-are-supposed-to-be/
A trailblazer for same sex adoption, Jamie is the Daddy of Daddy and Dad. What started as an exploration of the highs and lows of Jamie and Tom’s story of adopting two young brothers from foster care, became an award winning blog key agency resource and an opportunity to work with major brands.
A timely redundancy lead to a focus on blogging, before dipping their toes into Instagram (not just for vintage cat photos…) and moving into the realms of influencing.
We explore the journey into fatherhood, how navigating trauma from previous lives is part and parcel of the adoption process. Plus relationship dynamics in a same sex couple (hint… the breadwinner / carer tension is the same) and the challenges of being dads in a mum’s world.
Contents
01:00 Half term, home-school and house moving.
03:10 James does care what the weatherman says.
04:00 Pets and waiting on Boris.
05:40 Booking holidays and being on TV.
07:00 James reflects on Ian’s sister in law’s Valentine dance.
08:30 The Path - “of course we're two dads, so options for starting a family are slightly different to other couples.”
09:40 Adoption is a huge, convoluted, overwhelming process and at the end of it, you become a family overnight
10:20 I thought maybe I'd write a book or maybe we'd do some kind of video blog or but blogging was my expertise.
11:30 “I was really trying to lay out exactly how I was feeling and how lost we felt sometimes, which people really identified with.”
12:30
Adoption agencies picked it up as a resource for potential adopters to read and it grew really quickly.
“I was made redundant, and it was cliched and everyone said it would be, but it was the best thing for me career wise because I just applied all that extra time on the blog and, and it grew and grew and started to win awards and and really became quite a big part of our lives as well.”
13:45 The mad world of parenthood - there's certain themes that I think everybody can recognise.
15:00 Blogging inspiration from soft play and trampoline parks.
17:30 Instagram - not just pictures of cats
20:40 Relationship dynamics - breadwinner and carer
24:30 Support for adoptive parents
26:10 Dads in a mum’s world
27:20 Covid and a pub manager getting it all wrong.
28:00 Changing facilities for dads with babies
30:00 Gay men in a straight world - Valentine's Day and Mother’s Day
Tips 31:10
- Read Martin Robinson’s book - “You Are Not The Man You're Supposed To Be”
- Involve kids in decision making - a quick story about alarm clocks and bedtime habits.
- Watch The Morning Show, Apple TV +, with Reese Witherspoon and Jennifer Aniston
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Connect with Jamie
https://www.daddyanddad.co.uk/
https://www.instagram.com/daddyanddad/
Dan Stanley - Becoming Better Men
In a powerful discussion about masculinity, purpose, and self awareness, ex Army Commando Instructor Dan describes how, far from being a magical time, becoming a new dad led to a 8 month separation in his marriage.
We discover how a chance meeting with an ex premiership footballer, helped him drop his people pleaser mask and literally stop running from his problems.
We discuss the impact of a dad who wasn’t present in his life, running so much your dog gets injured, and seeking to normalise the conversation about modern masculinity. Dan talks about his business principles of creating space for men to develop great relationships with themselves.
Plus… is it sledding or sledging and other pressing questions in 2021.
Contents
01:00 Dan is purposeful, available and congruent
03:00 Ian and the “done” list
04:20 Sledding or Sledging? Snow days as a niche argument in favour of flexible working.
07:25 Birth of Dan’s daughter was the catalyst for “not only the breakdown of my marriage, but also for what was an identity crisis or midlife crisis for me.”
08:10 Dan was running (and avoiding) so much that his spaniel (running partner) actually developed an injury that needed an operation.
09:00 “We separated for about eight months and it was a lonely time.”
11:10 It's all about normalising the conversation for me. Unless you've got a great relationship yourself, you can't have a great relationship with anybody else.
12:30 My dad wasn't present in my life and at the time I never really gave it any significant thought, but…
13:30
Training all arms commandos from the army. Screaming in people's faces, that in my mind, is counterproductive.
15:30
“I was reading a book called Legacy about the psychology of the All Blacks and a man a few loungers down is reading Chimp Paradox. We must have been the only two guys in the Maldives with self help books”
He was an ex premiership footballer, he'd had a couple of the operations, which hadn't worked…
He said a phrase, which has changed the whole trajectory of my life. He said the only difference between a grave and a rut is the depth. I was like, wow. You know, it was straight in my heart.
17:30 Taking massive and immediate action
18:30 Reflecting on ego and masculinity
19:45 It's about creating that space for men to have the conversations they've never had before, to be heard and listened to in a nonjudgmental space.
21:30 I found myself in the Peak District for five days, on a vegan diet. No caffeine, morning meditation and yoga and spirituality and the men's circles. Craig White was a real, a real catalyst for who I became.
24:00: I stepped away from friendship groups that I felt no longer served who I wanted to become. I realised that my values were kind of just social traits that I'd adopted from other people.
26:30 My story is perhaps extreme in a sense, but lots of guys can relate to avoiding, to placing their head in the sand
Tips (27:00)
Bird watching for the soul
A selection of stoic maxims.
- Know thy self - develop yourself awareness.
- Nothing to excess.
- Surety brings ruin.
Listen to Tim Ferris podcast with Jerry Seinfeld
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More from Dan
https://www.linkedin.com/in/dan-stanley-bettermen-coaching/
https://better-men.uk/
There’s just not enough time!
Nigel Clarke, CBeebies presenter, explains how Dadvengers started from an all Dads episode of The Baby Club, the groundbreaking show for mums, dads and carers with babies under 18 months old. The Baby Club reflects the important CBeebies mantra that “Everyone’s Welcome”.
We talk about a generational shift in what is expected from and expected by dads and the importance of dads having the skills and confidence to be alone with their kids.
Ian and Nigel try and explain to James what the Clubhouse excitement is all about and we discover how you manage a 4 hour filming session with babies, sing songs (!) and probe Nigel about parenting in the public eye and what goes on at a CBeebies Xmas party.
Contents
01:15 Using Lockdown in the most positive way we can be - “I've found a place where I'm happy.”
02:00 Nigel’s motto - “There just isn't enough time”.
03:00 Special To Do lists
04:00 Children on Teams and Clubhouse
“Somebody told me about it (Clubhouse) and I was like, this is never going to work. But if it's done right, it's like attending a really cool lecture or a really cool networking room where you share stuff.”
06:45 Trying not to get stressed - people are accommodating
08:00 CBeebies closed for a couple of weeks and we, as the presenters, were recording stuff in our homes. So I did a series of links from my lounge.
09:45 Dadchats was a place for me to just research what parents might want to see or hear about in the Dadvengers podcast.
11:20 We did an episode of The Baby Club just with Dads
14:55
“I'm mid forties. So I grew up with a generation where the dads were at work. You see them maybe at the weekend, maybe in the evenings, maybe briefly before they go to work in the morning.They didn't have the opportunity to be with their kids and around them spending lots of time.”
15:45: Wanting to be more involved - The Baby Club as a platform to really help dads.
18:40 The essence of it was wanting dads from all different backgrounds who were engaged with their kids, who weren't scared to change a nappy.
20:10 The importance of making dads feel welcome.
21:00 Patience and being public figure.
21:30 I don't know if I can really call my work work.
23:30 Chaos and contagious crying - how to film an episode of The Baby Club.
24:45 I know a song that’ll stick in your head….
26:20 What happens on a CBeebies night out, stays on a CBeebies night out.
28:00 Tips
- Men need to learn how to listen, not just talk.
- Feel good with a squirt of aftershave.
- Be present when your kids are there and you're spending time with them, put that phone away, drop it down.
30:44 There's not long left. We're at 13, we're two thirds of the way through, and then it's over, they're gone and they're not kids anymore.
Learn more here
https://dadvengers.com/
https://www.facebook.com/Dadvengersofficial
https://www.instagram.com/dadvengersofficial/
https://twitter.com/Dadvengers_
https://nigelclarkepresenter.co.uk/
https://www.thelionsbarbercollective.com/
To get in touch, submit your tips and learn about us click here: https://www.inspiringdads.co.uk/lockdown-dads
As a newly married 23 year old, apprehensively mulling over his thoughts about impending fatherhood while driving the A39 to and from Bristol, Nathan McGurl, founder of The Study Buddy did what we now take for granted - he started blogging.
The My First Kid website has sadly gone the way of our My Space profiles, but the story Nathan tells of dads sidelined from parenting will still resonate to many, even if supermarket parenting clubs no longer limit you to identifying as “Ms, Mrs or Miss”
We blend discussion about bad broadband, good haircuts and expensive contact lenses with a look at lazy and damaging gender stereotyping promoted by the UK government.
Nathan explains how having exhausting all the classic parenting manipulation techniques with his son, he created a system of GCSE revision planning that didn’t rely on learning by osmosis and became The Study Buddy.
Content
01:10 Nathan is a gin and tonic away from being “magenta.”
02:45 James loses the world’s most expensive contact lens.
04:10 Ian on bad broadband, good haircuts and lockdown birthdays
05:50 New marriage, new dad and new millennium - there was a lot going on.
06:50 On the road to Street and myfirstkid.co.uk was born, capturing all of these things flying through my head…
08:20 I started to become more aware of “parenthood” because I don't think “fatherhood” was much of a thing then.
10:00 Parenthood was all about the mums. The Safeway club just assumed it's Mrs. Nathan McGurl. I mean, you could be Ms. or Miss or Mrs, but you couldn't be Mr.
12:20 We talk government and gender stereotyping
15:40 Emails from Mums even more than Dads
18:30 The path to creating The Study Buddy
19:30 Using every trick in the book for motivation - “how about I give you a fiver?”
21:00 Then it came to Easter just before his exams,
22:00 It wasn't emotional anymore because it wasn't me telling him what I thought he should do.
22:47 This is how Study Buddy works
26:30 You don't need to spend money, but for those parents who actually just don't have the time or the inclination…
27:40 It was built for the procrastinating boy, but this kind of approach helps with, those who are really anxious.
30:00 The power of the student feeling in control
33:10 Tips
CKC = “Communication is key with COVID”
The power of an Excel spreadsheet - people will assume that you're busy and they will walk away.
Zig Ziglar quote “The elevator to success is out of order, but the stairs are always open.”
Learn more here
https://thestudybuddy.com/
https://www.facebook.com/TheStudyBuddyStudios/
https://twitter.com/thestudybuddyUK
https://www.instagram.com/TheStudyBuddyStudios/
About Lockdown Dads
James Millar and Ian Dinwiddy are recording a weekly ‘show’ exploring the impact of lockdown, self-isolation and social distancing on working dads.
https://www.inspiringdads.co.uk/lockdown-dads
Time to ponder… what colour are you today and why? Paul Bulos, Executive, Leadership & Wellbeing Coach and publishing professional joins us for this and other profound questions on the Lockdown Dads podcast. We dig into the benefits of lockdowns - including connecting with your kids and we touch on the importance of empathy and understanding the transition between work and home life.
Plus we discuss dad ‘presence’ - how important is secondary school transition, what does the “right train” mean to you and taking time to involve yourself in the things that are important to your children.
Tips include - it’s time for clippers, the Language of gaming and Rachel Vecht’s Circle of Control .
Contents
00:20 Lockdown birthdays are rubbish.
02:30 If you could describe how you are doing as a colour, what would that colour be and why?
02:45 Paul’s Funday Friday - energy and weather = yellow
03:15 Ian, green for Pakistan - ODI cricket tickets for the summer
04:20 James = black… I like black
07:40 Learning self awareness and family dynamics
09:15 Paul’s relationship with his daughter
12:25 Helping children to feel safe
14:05 A higher proportion proportion of dads think that the switch to secondary school is a time when they need to be around for their kids.
15:00 How comfortable are you saying, “you know what, I can't make that meeting at 5:30” because if I don't do that, I can't get the train, which means I won't be home for my kids.
15:50 You come home one day and, and they don't come to the door. And I said, no, I can't imagine that.
17:00 The impact of missing your train - my wife knew exactly what time I'd be walking through the door at the end of the working day.
19:30 The transition between work - coming home and re-entry into domestic, household and parenting life.
21:50 James talks about his workingdads.co.uk building back better agenda.
23:00 Lunchtimes together.
24:00 The power of coaching - examining values and my responsibilities as a parent
25:30 Children as they've become far more cognitive in the world and they've got their own things, you really have to listen to them.
27:00 My Daughter has helped me as a coach.
28:30 Tips
- Home haircuts - clippers are back on stock
- Try to understand the language of gaming.
- Rachel Vecht’s Circle of Control. (former guest on the show)
More from Paul Bulos
https://www.linkedin.com/in/paulbulos/
http://www.thecompletecoach.co.uk/safe/
https://www.workingdads.co.uk/sink-swim-vital-dads-look-after-themselves/
About Lockdown Dads
James Millar and Ian Dinwiddy are recording a weekly podcast exploring the impact of lockdown, self-isolation and social distancing on working dads.
We’ll share tips, thoughts and stories with special guests, discuss our hopes for the future and the opportunities that all this represents, especially for dads who want to be more active and involved fathers but who until now have struggled with the expectations of what it means to be a man in the workplace. We hope you enjoy watching and listening!
To get in touch, submit your tips and learn about us click here:
https://www.inspiringdads.co.uk/lockdown-dads
Living 50m from Central Park in Upper West side Manhattan sounds incredibly glamorous but not if you've swapped a house for a pandemic apartment in lockdown. This week's guest Steve Myall, former deputy features Editor of the Daily Mirror and co-host of the highly successful First Time Dads podcast joins James and I as the circle of podcasting is complete.
We talk shared parental leave, finding space in a big city and why diplomatic status is this year's must have accessory for the Real Brit Dads of New York. Steve talks about what it is like on the ground in New York - elections, parenting and being that elusive species - the hands on stay at home dad.
Contents
01:30 switching a house for an apartment, not realising that we would be in it 24 hours a day.
02:30 Home school and Boris the Cat
05:00 God alone knows what we're going to do at the weekend.
06:00 We had a friend who took some shared parental leave, he was in his shorts, had grown a beard. He was relaxed. He was chilled. And the relationship with his second child looked fantastic.
07:30 Condensed hours and changing how you look at work.
08:00 Moving to New York.
09:30 The First Time Dads Podcast - because we felt that dad's weren't really talking about the emotional stuff.
13:30 There was talk of a virus in China and then suddenly New York's in this epicenter.
14:30 If you're on the seventh floor of an apartment you can't take them to playgrounds or shop.
16:45 We are fortunate, because my wife works for the UN, we've got a diplomatic status here so that we were able to come back to the UK.
17:45 New York parks v Crystal Palace Park aka "have you got a big dinosaur with its face fallen off?"
19:35 Federal law allows you to have 12 weeks of unpaid parental leave as a dad.
22:00 Not only would it be unusual for me to see a dad taking their kids to this stuff, it would be unusual for me to see a parent because they're all nannies.
23:00 It's changed a lot since lockdown - you see a lot more dads doing drop-off and pick up because obviously they're working from home.
26:10 And then the adults all have a shrink, right?
28:00 We drove back into New York as the election result came over the radio and people were out in the street, opening bottles of champagne, cheering on the street corners.
29:00 If you go in Central Park, without wearing a mask outside, you will be shouted at.
30:00 Tips: Watch Soul, eat chocolate oranges and get in touch with mindfulness and the craft box.
Twitter: @Stevemyalleats
Instagram: @StevemyalleatsHQ
About Lockdown Dads
James Millar and Ian Dinwiddy are recording a weekly ‘show’ exploring the impact of lockdown, self-isolation and social distancing on working dads.
We’ll share tips, thoughts and stories with special guests, discuss our hopes for the future and the opportunities that all this represents, especially for dads who want to be more active and involved fathers but who until now have struggled with the expectations of what it means to be a man in the workplace. We hope you enjoy watching and listening!
To get in touch, submit your tips and learn about us click here: https://www.inspiringdads.co.uk/lockdown-dads
One time self employed journalist based in Australia, we discover how interviewing and profiling home working entrepreneurs for a tech start up was the start of the idea that became The Homeworker magazine.
Louise Goss joins us for episode 28, drawing upon her husband's experiences we reflect on how attitudes towards home working have changed from both an individual and business perspective. Why her magazine is much more useful than googling the top 5 productivity tips and how the Homeworker blends key themes around business, productivity, mindset, wellbeing and your work environment.
Contents
02:30 James has the hump with fascists
03:30 Groundhog day - it's hard to hit the ground running in 2021
04:20 Ian misses flow
05:30 Less parental guilt this time
07:20 From Freelance journalist to celebrating the 2nd anniversary of the magazine
09:00 Louise back in UK with 2 children under 3
09:50 Blending business, productivity, mindset, wellbeing and your work environment.
10:15 I wish I could say I had this Eureka moment and this amazing foresight that we're all going to be doing it
12:10 Work and life are very integrated nowadays. And there's no real getting around that.
12:50 it's very easy to do a quick Google, you know, top five productivity tips working from home.
15:25 Branching out into a corporate subscription
16:30 There's working from home and then there's working from home during a global pandemic
17:30 Parenting and homeworking
22:00 Husband changing how he felt about home working
25:19 We actually turfed my daughter out of her room and made an office joining lockdown
26:30 Ergonomics advice - the best posture is the next posture
Tips 27:20
Involving the children in the planning of home-school
Leave the fairy lights up
If you create an inviting and welcoming workspace you're going to do better work there
https://www.thehomeworker.com/
https://twitter.com/homeworkermag
https://www.instagram.com/thehomeworkermag/
About Lockdown Dads
James Millar and Ian Dinwiddy are recording a weekly ‘show’ exploring the impact of lockdown, self-isolation and social distancing on working dads.
We’ll share tips, thoughts and stories with special guests, discuss our hopes for the future and the opportunities that all this represents, especially for dads who want to be more active and involved fathers but who until now have struggled with the expectations of what it means to be a man in the workplace. We hope you enjoy watching and listening!
To get in touch, submit your tips and learn about us click here: https://www.inspiringdads.co.uk/lockdown-dads
A look back at 26 episodes of Lockdown Dads - the good, the bad and the ugly as we ponder the "annus horribilis" that was 2020. We talk guests and the tips that inspired us and the tips that shocked us, it's all here as we discuss what 2021 has instore for dads and their families and how as a show we can continue to bring you interesting and informative content onward into season 3 of a project we wanted to kill off. Too much lockdown...!
(Recorded pre-Tier 4 / Christmas cancellation)
Contents
1:30 This week - Webinars, Xmas cards and good people doing good things.
03:30 The importance of the Bob Mortimer and Paul Whitehouse fishing programme.
05:30 The good - walks and family time, Saturday night movies.
07:30 All fathers should watch It's A Wonderful Life.
08:30 Scepticism about the Rona-coaster - until James hit it.
The emotional impact of freedom being snatched away.
Looking ahead to his daughter being nearly 14 next year.
11:50 Adapting and Accepting. Being kind to yourself.
Michael Ray and Nadia Nagamootoo talking about the small things.
13:30 Christmas - make the most of it, but not Kay Burley style.
14:00 Noel McDermott from Season 1 had the most striking tip - no drinking.
15:45 Yash Puri and the night time nappy changing, James and choosing the "right" pants.
17:30 Making time for yourself - Dan Reed, Ady Griffiths and Mari Williams.
18:00 Awe walks from Jessica Chivers.
19:30 Philip Simon re-record the punchline.
Dr Jasmine Kelland and Dr Laura Radcliffe with strong calls to action.
22:20 Freddie Bennett - The man who ran a marathon in welly boots and broke the Guinness World Record.
24:30 Dads exposed to genuine parenting challenge.
27:00 Future trends for 2021, it will be key for people like us - making the case for flexible working when the temptation will be for a return pre pandemic "norms."
31:00 Tip watch the Bob Mortimer and Paul Whitehouse show. Cherry Vodka and Tonic make it your Christmas drink of choice.
From lad mag to expert on modern masculinity. This episode is loaded with content "for him" as Martin Robinson, editor of digital magazine, the Book of Man, gives us the lowdown on why it was time for content that explicitly put men's mental health, front and centre of the conversation.
We learn about the human zoo that was working for Maxim in the 1990s and how going a little bit nuts was seen as an occupational hazard that shouldn't distract from the "fun". Fortunately the world has moved on a bit and Martin talks about how a new breed of man is engaging on a more emotional and vulnerable level and seeing the benefits of redefining what being a good man can mean.
Martin kicks things off by talking about the multiple pressures of keeping a business going, while home-schooling his 8 yr old son and 5 yr old daughter, plus managing their wellbeing and outlook on the world.
04:00 A call back to the "Christmas of Death"
06:00 How many Xmas trees do you need?
08:00 Ongoing Rona-coaster and the fragility of the situation.
James will eat his hat if Covid is over by Easter
09:30 Book of Man - increased demand due to mental health.
Traffic up massively in first lockdown.
It's not laugh a minute on the site
Topics that aren't going to be touched by GQ looking what the season's suits will be.
Professor Green
13:00 Excitement about the future - we need strong voices to help people through it.
14:00 Martin hoping for a reassessment of the ideals that men hold - taking pride in being around.
Caning it forever around the clock isn't really the answer!
17:00 The challenge when your identity and sense of self is defined by your job. Then you lose your job....
19:00 Talking about Jason Fox's role, there's angle about the military - getting organised and looking after your own little area, it's coming into it's own.
21:30 It's powerful when tough guys open up. More engagement when they talk about bad days, rather than a 1000 burpees.
23:00 Starting out a Maxim, did you expect to end up with Book of Man?
What did it mean to be a man in the 1990s? Hedonism and freedom.
There was no place for discussion about masculinity or mental health - that would be spoiling the fun.
26:00 I was never a massive lad - I wanted to be a writer.
People were continually having breakdowns. Long hours, long socialising.
29:00 Things were starting to change - Shortlist started doing mental health stories. An urgency to the launch of Book of Man post #Metoo and a focus on men's behaviour.
Martin's book is out in the spring "You're not the man you're supposed to be."
Tips
How to handle Xmas decorations
Don't leave decorating until December.
Read Julia Gillard's book - Women and Leadership
Book of Man https://thebookofman.com/
Twitter https://twitter.com/MartinXRobinson
Jason Fox Wild Tales Podcast Jason Fox Wild Tales Podcast – The Book of Man
Julia Gillard book - Women and Leadership https://www.penguin.co.uk/books/112/1120820/women-and-leadership/9781787634
About Lockdown Dads
James Millar and Ian Dinwiddy are recording a weekly ‘show’ exploring the impact of lockdown, self-isolation and social distancing on working dads. We’ll share tips, thoughts and stories with special guests, discuss our hopes for the future and the opportunities that all this represents, especially for dads who want to be more active and involved fathers but who until now have struggled with the expectations of what it means to be a man in the workplace.
We hope you enjoy watching and listening!
To get in touch, submit your tips and learn about us click here:
https://www.inspiringdads.co.uk/lockdown-dads
David Willans, founder of the website Being Dads joins the show as we discover what is behind his thoughtful and informative weekly emails. We learn how a typical dad moment - losing your rag with your kids, and lacking role models the resonated, turned into a project to educate himself and others about fatherhood - our behaviours and how they impact on others. David talks convincingly about how definitions of fatherhood lack "depth."
Content
03:00 We discuss the burning question in November - is it too early for Xmas?!
06:30 The euphoric feeling bumping into someone you know in the park
07:30 David's path to setting up Being Dads
Classic school run moment - shouting at kids, getting stressed.
Caught myself - angry dad moment I'd lost control and I didn't want to be that guy
Limited role models - either Disciplinarian Dad, Lego Dad or "Steve Martin" Dad
10:30 Speaking to other Dads he knew - "longest I've ever spent talking about fatherhood".
You lost temper and started a website, was this a conscious choice?
"Hard to sit still and do nothing."
14:00 Kids give you lots of opportunities to be a better person if you are paying attention
17:30 How to stop thinking? James' experience of the Gender Agenda project
18:30 Expert status - talk and think about it.
20:30 Digging in child development and psychotherapy - how adult behaviours are driven by childhood. The dangers of reading too much!
22:00 Top books for thoughtful parents (see below)
25:00
We discuss time, attention and behaviour
James anticipates being laughed at
Adults talking about Dads - it's attention or lack of, that they remember. The dads they don't remember growing up
30:00
Dads and sport
31:00 Tips
Read about Virat Kohli, Indian cricket captain, planning to miss 2 test matches in January for paternity leave.
Wake up and think about what you are going to do that is amazing for the family.
Dad to dad meet up - outdoor fresh air is good for the soul
David Willans
https://www.beingdads.com/
More to read
Becoming Myself: A Psychiatrist's Memoir, Irvin Yalom
Reflective Parenting: A Guide to Understanding What's Going on in Your Child's Mind, Cooper and Redfern
Kids Are Worth It!: Giving Your Child the Gift of Inner Discipline, Barbara Coloroso
https://www.workingdads.co.uk/virat-kohli-stereotypes-cricket/
About Lockdown Dads
James Millar and Ian Dinwiddy are recording a weekly ‘show’ exploring the impact of lockdown, self-isolation and social distancing on working dads.
We’ll share tips, thoughts and stories with special guests, discuss our hopes for the future and the opportunities that all this represents, especially for dads who want to be more active and involved fathers but who until now have struggled with the expectations of what it means to be a man in the workplace. We hope you enjoy watching and listening!
To get in touch, submit your tips and learn about us click here: https://www.inspiringdads.co.uk/lockdown-dads
Nadia Nagamootoo, founder & CEO of Avenir Consulting Services, speaker, chartered psychologist, coach and expectant mum joins Lockdown Dads to talk about her path to "complete inclusion" and how her own experiences of shared parental leave and equal parenting led to seeking greater understanding of the organisational limits to men's access to flexible working and extended leave.
We discuss the challenges and disappointments of men's lack of access to maternity services in 2020 and reflect on whether Covid is a moment in time or a fundamental culture shift for working dads. Plus strong tips on what steps men can take to get involved in the change they want to see - aka being an active and involved father.
Contents
00:45 2 weeks away from giving birth!
01:30 Some amazing things have happened, baby is the icing on the cake.
02:00 Nadia's husband faced a lack of empathy for family circumstances during lockdown v1 - 6 year old daughter at home.
04:30 We discuss issues about dad's access to maternity services.
Practicing interchangeable parenting - 1 long weekend a month for the MBA
Judgement of Nadia and questioning about whether he could 'cope'.
05:30 It's sad for him not to hear the heart beat and see the scan.
08:00 Ian talks about International Men's Day and ranting on LinkedIn
09:45 James is bored of lockdown v2, but looking forward to a socially distanced man date with Ian
11:30 Nadia's path - very personal. Her career path wasn't D&I focused - instead organisational culture change.
Winning a 30% Club scholarship to study an MBA at Henley Business School.
Given the importance of her husband's Shared Parental Leave (SPL), Nadia MBA thesis was all about understanding the organisational limits to men's access to flexible working and extended leave.
17:20 Impact of Covid. Have we fundamentally changed the system? Or is Covid just a moment in time?
19:30 8/10 dads on workingdads.co.uk survey wanted more flexible working.
20:30 Talking about barriers for men
Senior male leadership role model.
Fear of the impact on their job.
Local culture - line managers and team members define what is possible.
24:30 Men need own what they want and speak up, but also dads as a route to gender equality.
26:30 Tips - Listen to Barack Obama interview on Radio 4, Read James' piece on planning on the working dads website. Nadia's tip - what small things can you do - adjustments or requests that allows to you access some of the lockdown magic. Challenge yourself!
Nadia Nagamootoo
https://www.avenirconsultingservices.com/
https://www.linkedin.com/in/nadia-nagamootoo-98436613/
Barack Obama - https://www.bbc.co.uk/sounds/play/m000q50g
James' plan https://www.workingdads.co.uk/working-dads-build-back-better/
About Lockdown Dads
James Millar and Ian Dinwiddy are recording a weekly ‘show’ exploring the impact of lockdown, self-isolation and social distancing on working dads. We’ll share tips, thoughts and stories with special guests, discuss our hopes for the future and the opportunities that all this represents, especially for dads who want to be more active and involved fathers but who until now have struggled with the expectations of what it means to be a man in the workplace.
We hope you enjoy watching and listening!
To get in touch, submit your tips and learn about us click here:
https://www.inspiringdads.co.uk/lockdown-dads
Ady Griffiths, author of Mindful Thoughts for Fathers joins James and Ian to explain how mediation and mindfulness have helped him to cope with 3 core aspects of fatherhood - worrying about becoming a dad, being a stressed dad and relating to his own father.
It's a powerful episode that explores the reality of being a dad, coping with lockdown and grief, plus surviving the 80s rave scene. As James so eloquently surmised Ady's book - "it's not some hippy sh1t"
Contents
02:30 James finds Lockdown v2 harder this time
04:00 Ian got away to Center Parcs
05:30 England v Scotland in football – James picks England (more reading below)
07:00 Ady’s path
The stress of nearly becoming a dad at age 17.
Discovering a book on mediation while cleaning the religious studies room
Looking into the Hare Krishnas
10:30 The late 80s Rave scene, mediation as a route to avoiding too much collateral damage!
Buddhist mindfulness – love and kindness.
Anger issues with his dad
13:30 Catch yourself – Stop. Pause. Breathe. Be aware
Change state = kinder human being
15:15 4 skilful efforts in Buddhism
16:30 We practice good posture
18:45 James the sceptic - but no - it's a book rooted in a relatable reality
20:00 Lockdown 1 was tense - tricky especially for Ady's daughter's mental health..
Importance of wildness.
24:30 Worn out - facing the loss and grief following the death of a close friend.
None of us know when we're going to go.
29:30 Tips - get stuff in the calendar, the benefits of an Apple watch and the importance of making time for you.
Ady Griffiths
https://vidyadasa.com/
https://www.amazon.co.uk/Mindful-Thoughts-Fathers-Journey-Loving-Kindness/dp/1782409556
https://www.workingdads.co.uk/mindfulness-working-dads/
More reading from James
https://www.pressandjournal.co.uk/fp/opinion/columnists/james-millar/2583403/scotland-must-learn-from-englands-ire/
About Lockdown Dads
James Millar and Ian Dinwiddy are recording a weekly ‘show’ exploring the impact of lockdown, self-isolation and social distancing on working dads. We’ll share tips, thoughts and stories with special guests, discuss our hopes for the future and the opportunities that all this represents, especially for dads who want to be more active and involved fathers but who until now have struggled with the expectations of what it means to be a man in the workplace.
We hope you enjoy watching and listening!
To get in touch, submit your tips and learn about us click here:
https://www.inspiringdads.co.uk/lockdown-dads
This week’s guest is Dr Laura Radcliffe, Lecturer in Organisational Behaviour at the University of Liverpool Management School.
We explore why a focus on dads in the workplace is of vital importance and how society needs to see the bigger picture – gender equality is good for everyone’s well-being and relationships.
We discuss the type of messaging for mums that Laura can say, but James, Ian and David Lammy really can’t. Plus, we bust the myth that mums are more skilled...
Contents
04:30 Manchester v the Government
06:30 Empathy
08:00 Laura’s path, from psychology grad via bad working practices to investigating work / family conflict within couples.
09:30 Data on Dads was just time use, nothing deeper.
11:00 Diaries into Work / family conflict
What happens when Men work flexibly, and women don’t and vice-versa
13:00 Aiming policies at women that exacerbate inequality
14:00 Living her research – permanent work / family conflict
15:30 Maternal gatekeeping – Dads need to persevere to keep carving out their own space in family life.
18:30 Mothering norms – competitive parenting, judgement and being the home manager.
21:00 Why it is important to break maternal gatekeeping
Better relationships between couples
Better relationships between Dads and children
Reduce the dual burden of home and work
22:30 Broadening the research interests
Men is same sex couples are more equal – starting from a level playing field.
24:00 Solo dads concealing a new partner from work
26:00 James’ tip - if you are missing the transition that the commute provides listen to a podcast!
30:00 A bumper set of tips from Laura
Tip 1 Dads be brave, vocal, and daredevil – don’t hide your responsibilities.
Tip 2 Line managers – show leadership and be vocal and supportive to dads.
Tip 3 Mums hold your tongue a little bit!
Dr Laura Radcliffe
https://www.liverpool.ac.uk/management/staff/laura-radcliffe/
https://www.linkedin.com/in/lradcliffe/
https://www.bitc.org.uk/report/equal-lives-parenthood-and-caring-in-the-workplace/
About Lockdown Dads
James Millar and Ian Dinwiddy are recording a weekly ‘show’ exploring the impact of lockdown, self-isolation and social distancing on working dads. We’ll share tips, thoughts and stories with special guests, discuss our hopes for the future and the opportunities that all this represents, especially for dads who want to be more active and involved fathers but who until now have struggled with the expectations of what it means to be a man in the workplace.
We hope you enjoy watching and listening!
To get in touch, submit your tips and learn about us click here:
https://www.inspiringdads.co.uk/lockdown-dads
Yash Puri, Founder of Papa Penguin and Finance Tech Specialist joins, James and Ian to discuss the ups and down of lockdown – doing everything and then having to slow down. We learn how moving away from cultural expectations and taking shared parental leave led to a feature with the BBC and creation of the Papa Penguin platform.
Plus night-time ninja nappy changing (definitely worth watching that bit on You Tube), trying to get to Center Parcs for half term and how just telling your story helps other dads to reassess their lives.
Contents
01:30 Family communication via headwear.
03:30 Excitement of the early days of lockdown, going Insta crazy – plaits, cooking and extreme arts and crafts.
04:30 Survival mode.
05:30 Super Dad – trying to do everything!
07:30 The corona rollercoaster – trying to plan for half term?!
13:00 The path to Papa Penguin via Shared Parental Leave and a BBC interview, getting inspiration from David Attenborough’s Dynasties.
16:30 The penguin is my role model, reflecting on fatherhood through the generations.
18:15 Talking cultural pressures and expectations with the BBC Asian network.
20:30 The importance of gender neutral Covid leave at FIS.
23:00 It’s only ever been my female team who have asked for childcare leave.
25:00 Creating impact by sharing stories on Papa Penguin.
28:30 Tips – James professional pen choices, Yash on nappy changing in the dark and Ian on recognising what you need to do to decompress.
Yash Puri
https://papapenguin.org/
https://www.workingdads.co.uk/working-dads-lockdown-yash-puri/
About Lockdown Dads
James Millar and Ian Dinwiddy are recording a weekly ‘show’ exploring the impact of lockdown, self-isolation and social distancing on working dads. We’ll share tips, thoughts and stories with special guests, discuss our hopes for the future and the opportunities that all this represents, especially for dads who want to be more active and involved fathers but who until now have struggled with the expectations of what it means to be a man in the workplace.
We hope you enjoy watching and listening!
To get in touch, submit your tips and learn about us click here:
https://www.inspiringdads.co.uk/lockdown-dads
Jessica Chivers, Psychologist & CEO of The Talent Keeper Specialists & Author "Mothers Work!" joins James and Ian to discuss how feeling "confident, connected and cared for" isn't just for new mums, and why line managers and senior male role models are essential to drive change for working dads.
Plus learn about "Awe walks", "Office Osmosis" and how to be a "Active Actor" in your day
Contents
02:20 Stroking clients, flow and avoiding the media
05:30 Recognising stress - Ian's daughter gets real life experience
07:00 James' 20 year golf losing streak and why covid is like a rugby match without rules.
09:00 Jessica's path to being the The Talent Keeper.
12:30 The Comeback Community
15:00 James' empathy gained from furlough
16:00 Pivot - stand alone coaching session
18:15 Shared Parental Leave as a trigger
20:20 DADB1 - the challenges of making change
23:00 Busy on LinkedIn this week.
25:30 Awe walks and power of connecting and finding wonder.
29:00 Tip - Managing your end of day boundaries - write down 3 things that have gone well and why.
31:20 Tip - the power of Freecycle
32:40 Tip - Pants and winkie holes
Jessica Chivers
https://www.talentkeepers.co.uk/
https://www.linkedin.com/in/jessicachivers/
About Lockdown Dads
James and Ian are recording a weekly ‘show’ exploring the impact of lockdown, self-isolation and social distancing on working dads. We’ll share tips, thoughts and stories with special guests, discuss our hopes for the future and the opportunities that all this represents, especially for dads who want to be more active and involved fathers but who until now have struggled with the expectations of what it means to be a man in the workplace.
We hope you enjoy watching and listening!
To get in touch, submit your tips and learn about us click here:
https://www.inspiringdads.co.uk/lockdown-dads
Dan Reed, father of 2, founder of the Career Dad and Head of Digital and Platform Delivery at Barclays joins James and I to discuss lockdown, finding your own path, managing judgement and creating choices that work for you and your family.
01:30 Riding the “Corona-coaster” – good hours and bad hours
02:50 Covid at Ian’s children’s school
04:20 AIBU? Morality and Train rides
05:30 Post Traumatic Stress?
07:50 James back in Westminster
10:00 The Path to Career Dad – creating your own narrative
12:00 Guilt and the perception of guilt
15:40 Self-confidence as a façade for low self-esteem.
16:50 Consumed by external validation and the power of therapy
18:30 4 days in a job, what is the point of doing something you know you don’t like?
20:30 Everyone has an opinion when you become a parent
22:30 I’m not a “home-schooling” parent, but…
24:50 “I love you, but screw you”
27:00 Going viral because you fed your daughter a shoe (or something like that!)
27:30 My two favourite platforms are Tiktok and LinkedIn
30:00 Tips – make time to be selfish, winter is coming (how are you prepping?) and check out the Career Dad podcast.
Dan Reed
https://www.careerdad.co.uk/
https://www.linkedin.com/in/danreed86/
About Lockdown Dads
James and Ian are recording a weekly ‘show’ exploring the impact of lockdown, self-isolation and social distancing on working dads. We’ll share tips, thoughts and stories with special guests, discuss our hopes for the future and the opportunities that all this represents, especially for dads who want to be more active and involved fathers but who until now have struggled with the expectations of what it means to be a man in the workplace.
We hope you enjoy watching and listening!
To get in touch, submit your tips and learn about us click here:
https://www.inspiringdads.co.uk/lockdown-dads
Founder of Music. Football. Fatherhood and Diversity and Inclusion Expert, Elliot Rae joins James and I to talk Covid, Black Lives Matter, and being kind to yourself, plus a bit of football, a touch of music and plenty of fatherhood.
Contents
02:40 Major stress and anxiety - my wife got ill, I got ill and an ambulance came to the house.
04:20 Elliot's reaction to the death of George Floyd
05:05 "Sounds weird me saying this, I'd probably do the whole thing again"
06:10 The benefits of things being out of our hands
10:15 Not the first time I've been a spokesman for BAME in the workplace.
11:40 Mainstream impact
12:40 Emotions, strategy and crisis management. Accelerating D&I work AND uncovering resistance.
16:00 Leadership via Music. Football. Fatherhood "how do we talk to our kids about race?"
17:45 The path to setting up MFF
21:30 Picking a name - is it a stereotype?
24:00 Making an impact with MFF
27:10 Getting stuff done, not just commentating
29:00 Tips - Match of the Day reruns, Flu vaccinations and go easy on yourself.
Elliot Rae
http://musicfootballfatherhood.com/
Insta: @MFFonline_
Twitter: @MFFonline_
About Lockdown Dads
James and Ian are recording a weekly ‘show’ exploring the impact of lockdown, self-isolation and social distancing on working dads. We’ll share tips, thoughts and stories with special guests, discuss our hopes for the future and the opportunities that all this represents, especially for dads who want to be more active and involved fathers but who until now have struggled with the expectations of what it means to be a man in the workplace.
We hope you enjoy watching and listening!
To get in touch, submit your tips and learn about us click here:
https://www.inspiringdads.co.uk/lockdown-dads
Dr Jasmine Kelland, Lecturer in Human Resource Studies at Plymouth Business School is this week's guest on Lockdown Dads.
With a PhD that was titled “Father’s at work: challenges and stereotypes facing fathers with caregiving responsibilities in employment”, Jasmine is a perfect guest to discuss dads, equality and evidence-based research.
Contents
01:30 Jasmine is loving the routine of being in the office.
02:50 James is ahead of the curve – stinky crisps and Dads Don’t Babysit 2nd anniversary
06:30 We talk about Jasmine’s research focus
07:00 HR Manager to PhD researcher
09:00 “What the **** is your missus doing that means you have to get the children from school?!”
10:50 This isn’t about men’s rights
11:45 “The Fatherhood Forfeit” – part time work and line management judgment
14:30 The self-reinforcing Gender Pay Gap
15:25 Flexible working demand from men
16:00 The “F*** It Fathers” – a cavalier attitude to people opinions about male caregiving.
18:00 House of Lords Select Committee written evidence
20:30 Making change happen
25:30 James’ tip – Men and women speaking in unison.
27:00 Does Jasmine feel awkward as a woman “promoting” men?
29:00 Ian tip – get involved in the class WhatsApp group
31:30 Jasmine tip – don’t be afraid to challenge the status quo
Dr Jasmine Kelland
https://www.linkedin.com/in/dr-jasmine-kelland-63417642/
https://www.plymouth.ac.uk/staff/jasmine-kelland
About Lockdown Dads
James and Ian are recording a weekly ‘show’ exploring the impact of lockdown, self-isolation and social distancing on working dads. We’ll share tips, thoughts and stories with special guests, discuss our hopes for the future and the opportunities that all this represents, especially for dads who want to be more active and involved fathers but who until now have struggled with the expectations of what it means to be a man in the workplace.
We hope you enjoy watching and listening!
To get in touch, submit your tips and learn about us click here:
https://www.inspiringdads.co.uk/lockdown-dads
This week we are joined by Mari Williams, a leadership coach who blends therapy, conflict mediation and coaching interventions into a compelling action orientated package that men have described as "challengingly empathetic"
Contents
02:20 James reflects on the R going up...
03:15 Ian at Flexpo
04:30 What did Mari's clients find - denial, imposter syndrome and your version of success
07:40 Working with male energy
09:30 Reflecting on what changes you want to make
11:20 Intent v Action
13:10 Why Ian goes to Costa
15:00 Mari's coaching approach - it's all about foundations
16:25 Men and loss of identity. Career, Children and relationship struggles
18:50 Ripples across your pond
19:20 Why a holistic whole life approach matters in coaching
21:15 Loving men and the downside of #metoo
23:50 The fathers they don't remember growing up
26:20 The Importance of Dads to work and family
28:15 The news James overheard in the cafe
29:00 Get help - tips from all three of us to enhance your life as a dad
Mari Williams
https://www.mari-williams.com/
Flexpo Business Digital Summit
https://flexpobusiness.vfairs.com/
About Lockdown Dads
James and Ian are recording a weekly ‘show’ exploring the impact of lockdown, self isolation and social distancing on working dads. We’ll share tips, thoughts and stories with special guests, discuss our hopes for the future and the opportunities that all this represents, especially for dads who want to be more active and involved fathers but who until now have struggled with the expectations of what it means to be a man in the workplace.
We hope you enjoy watching and listening!
To get in touch, submit your tips and learn about us click here:
https://www.inspiringdads.co.uk/lockdown-dads
In the first episode of Season 2 we are joined by Michael Ray - equality advocate and solo dad from Australia
In a wide ranging chat we cover everything from the Ashes to a very Australian coronavirus outbreak via how a disagreement over which parents were allowed backstage at a 4 year old's ballet show propelled Michael into the national spotlight and the journey to becoming an equality advocate.
Michael talks about gaining "clarity from crisis" and how it's the "moments between the moments" that really matter.
Contents
01:00 Emotional challenge of 2nd Lockdown
02:40 The most Australian outbreak ever?
06:00 Walking the talk on Dad behaviour
07:30 Difficult or Different?
08:35 Holidays, the cider museum and back to school
10:30 Tech breakdown - new normal?
12:00 Michael's story - separation, illness and clarity from crisis
14:50 That ballet story - she can't be the only kid backstage without a parent
17:50 Why traditional gender roles don't help anyone
19:50 I didn't want to be an advocate, I just wanted my daughter not to be made to feel different
20:50 Reframing childcare as a parenting issue not a women's issue
22:40 Breadwinner and Carer aren't separate roles
25:00 How maternity and paternity leave cement gender roles
26:00 Imposter syndrome
29:10 "Get Help" Tips - Moments between the moments, Don't be a dick and recreate the good bits of lockdown.
Michael Ray
"An Ordinary Dad Having An Extraordinary Amount Of Fun!"
https://michaelray.com.au/
About Lockdown Dads
James and Ian are recording a weekly ‘show’ exploring the impact of lockdown, self isolation and social distancing on working dads. We’ll share tips, thoughts and stories with special guests, discuss our hopes for the future and the opportunities that all this represents, especially for dads who want to be more active and involved fathers but who until now have struggled with the expectations of what it means to be a man in the workplace.
We hope you enjoy watching and listening!
To get in touch, submit your tips and learn about us click here:
https://www.inspiringdads.co.uk/lockdown-dads
In Episode 14 Ian is joined by his brother, Chris Dinwiddy.
Dad of 4, Chris, talks about becoming a father again during Lockdown, from the disengagement he felt from being unable to attend maternity appointments to the joy of being allowed to take the facemask off when Suri was born.
He talks too about the struggles of physical separation from family - his mother in law stuck in South Africa, while he narrowly missed the chance to visit his oldest 2 children in Cape Town before lockdown restrictions took hold.
We talk about the humanising benefits of Zoom calls and the upsides of having an official work from home contract.
We talk about equality and equity, contrasts between South Africa and the UK and how "By The Way, My Wife is Black" would make for a great book title.
As a Global Talent Acquisition Specialist Chris talks about the process of de-biasing recruitment.
Plus
Competitive instagramming with his 2 year old daughter, flat car batteries and shooting footage for a TV show. And Ian's two kids make an appearance at the start!
Chris Dinwiddy
https://www.linkedin.com/in/chris-dinwiddy-7220711/
Instagram: dinnersc
About Lockdown Dads
James and Ian are recording a weekly ‘show’ exploring the impact of lockdown, self isolation and social distancing on working dads. We’ll share tips, thoughts and stories with special guests, discuss our hopes for the future and the opportunities that all this represents, especially for dads who want to be more active and involved fathers but who until now have struggled with the expectations of what it means to be a man in the workplace.
We hope you enjoy watching and listening!
To get in touch, submit your tips and learn about us click here:
In Episode 13 we are joined by Fidel Beauhill, The Modern Man Coach
Father of 3 daughters and a master coach, Fidel doesn't hold back when describing how his perfect life came abruptly to a halt when lockdown started.
He talks candidly about the emotional impact faced by an extrovert who struggled after a manic 2 weeks of putting everyone else's "mask on first" - no one to see and nowhere to go.
Fidel gives us an insight into his own journey into the spiritual - tapping into feminine energy, getting naked on top of a mountain and barefoot walking.
Great tips include how to align your goals to your values and create stability in health, wealth, relationships and self.
"Don't come blasting out of lockdown like it's New Year’s Day!"
Plus, James has his long overdue beard trim and haircut, Ian suffers both credit card fraud and a broken printer in the same week and Fidel reveals his love for Jacinda Ardern's work.
Fidel Beauhill
https://modernman.org.uk/
https://www.facebook.com/groups/themodernmanclub/
About Lockdown Dads
James and Ian are recording a weekly ‘show’ exploring the impact of lockdown, self isolation and social distancing on working dads. We’ll share tips, thoughts and stories with special guests, discuss our hopes for the future and the opportunities that all this represents, especially for dads who want to be more active and involved fathers but who until now have struggled with the expectations of what it means to be a man in the workplace.
We hope you enjoy watching and listening!
To get in touch, submit your tips and learn about us click here:
https://www.inspiringdads.co.uk/lockdown-dads
In Episode 12 we are joined by Rob Taylor, Marketing Man, Yorkshire Man and founder of Sheffield based "Dads in Business"
Rob talked about the pressures of being a dad of three and an entrepreneur and how meeting coach Angga Kara shone a light on his burnout and lead to the creation of Dads in Business.
Dads in Business is a forum in which entrepreneurial dads gain permission to have the type of honest conversations about Business, Family, Money and Life that they struggle to have with other people in their lives.
We talked about how the first 4 weeks of Lockdown were a valuable opportunity to reflect on what was really important and to challenge some of the business and lifestyle choices he was making.
James and Ian discussed tapas and gastro pubs and the end of school term.
We talked about whether Coronavirus will be all over by Christmas and the implications of Boris Johnson's announcement that from 1 August, "Instead of government telling people to work from home, we are going to give employers more discretion, and ask them to make decisions about how their staff can work safely."
aka "Saving Pret a Manger"
This is true: "continuing to work from home, which is one way of working safely and which has worked for many employers and employees".
But nothing on how to square the circle of summer holidays, no childcare and a return to the workplace.
Further reading here: https://www.workingdads.co.u/bringing-dads-back-work/
Rob left us with important reflection about improved communication with your partner, self reflection and the importance of "catching yourself and asking: why am I living my life in this way?"
Rob Taylor
https://www.linkedin.com/in/robtaylorofficial/
https://www.dadsinbusiness.co.uk/
About Lockdown Dads
James and Ian are recording a weekly ‘show’ exploring the impact of lockdown, self isolation and social distancing on working dads. We’ll share tips, thoughts and stories with special guests, discuss our hopes for the future and the opportunities that all this represents, especially for dads who want to be more active and involved fathers but who until now have struggled with the expectations of what it means to be a man in the workplace.
We hope you enjoy watching and listening!
To get in touch, submit your tips and learn about us click here:
https://www.inspiringdads.co.uk/lockdown-dads
In Episode 11 James and Ian are joined by Guinness Marathon World Record Holder and founder of Starting at Zero, Freddie Bennett.
When lockdown started Freddie was plunged into the world of 'single' parenting, while his wife worked 60 hour weeks on the frontline in the NHS, he tackled Zoom calls and supervising 2 young sons.
It wasn't all plain sailing as he struggled with uncertainty, lack of control and how to talk to his boys about what was going on.
We talk about presence and balance and how sometimes its the simple things in life that really matter especially with children. "Locked down not knocked down"
"Drunk" James explains why he went to the pub 4 times last week and what he discovered about himself, aka "it's not abut the beer"
The social aspect also features in Ian's story of his son going back to school for 2 days and, no apologies, we talk a lot about the restorative benefits of a hair cut.
Plus we learn about Freddie's incredible marathon world record. It's a pretty astonishing story of authenticity, forging your own path and making little people proud.
It lead to Staring From Zero - helping everyday people do extraordinary things.
Freddie Bennett
https://freddiembennett.com/
https://www.facebook.com/groups/startingatzero/
https://www.startingatzerochallenge.com/
https://www.guinnessworldrecords.com/world-records/458100-fastest-marathon-dressed-as-a-fisherman/
'Fatherhood Matters: Changing the Culture of Working Dads' panel discussion.
500 people signed up to a webinar that James and Ian guested on
Listen again here
https://us02web.zoom.us/rec/share/xuk2Kpus8j9Jf9bv5m2Hc4AYApXHT6a8hCUc8_pfmRwTyrM5PvlAvygAMB7AuGiG
Password: 5w!B=*i!
About Lockdown Dads
James and Ian are recording a weekly ‘show’ exploring the impact of lockdown, self isolation and social distancing on working dads. We’ll share tips, thoughts and stories with special guests, discuss our hopes for the future and the opportunities that all this represents, especially for dads who want to be more active and involved fathers but who until now have struggled with the expectations of what it means to be a man in the workplace.
We hope you enjoy watching and listening!
To get in touch, submit your tips and learn about us click here:
https://www.inspiringdads.co.uk/lockdown-dads
In Episode 10 James and I reflect back on the previous 10 weeks and think about what the return to "normal" means for Dads.
We discuss the green shoots of normality - a trip to TK Maxx, cat vaccinations and bringing your cleaner back from paid leave, but also the anxiety of taking advantage of the opportunites.
James talks about the return from furlough to his job as editor of WorkingDads.co.uk - the practical and emotional challenges of actually doing that role again. In many ways men are getting to experience a new retun to work scenario that is not unlike the transistion back from maternity leave.
We cover the big topic of economic uncertainty and how fear and job losses will work against dads seeking out the type flexible and remote working they and their families want and need more of - especially with school holidays looming.
James talks about the importance of seeing people as more than just economic blocks - the govenment took that view with 80% furlough scheme afterall...
Read more here: https://www.pressandjournal.co.uk/fp/opinion/columnists/james-millar/2265563/do-not-adjust-your-set-its-the-new-normal/
Plus are you ever too old / fat for a Radiohead t-shirt, Ian squeezes in a Rocky Balboa quote and why easing up and breaking your day into chunks is so important.
Enjoyed this?
James and Ian are featuring on a free webinar on Friday 10th July, 11am - 12pm
Rachel Vecht is hosting the 'Fatherhood Matters: Changing the Culture of Working Dads' panel discussion.
Join Ian, James, Brian Ballantyne and Dan Reed as we discuss all things dad, and all things lockdown.
Registar here:
https://us02web.zoom.us/webinar/register/WN_qqgaIWgGQ5SsTVRl9UeztQ
About Lockdown Dads
James and Ian are recording a weekly ‘show’ exploring the impact of lockdown, self isolation and social distancing on working dads. We’ll share tips, thoughts and stories with special guests, discuss our hopes for the future and the opportunities that all this represents, especially for dads who want to be more active and involved fathers but who until now have struggled with the expectations of what it means to be a man in the workplace.
We hope you enjoy watching and listening!
To get in touch, submit your tips and learn about us click here:
https://www.inspiringdads.co.uk/lockdown-dads
James and Ian are joined by Parent Educator Rachel Vecht, Founder of Educating Matters.
We discuss the benefits of teenagers at home without FOMO replaced instead with a sense of connection to family but also screen time and body clocks (!)
Rachel talks about the importance of self reliance, emotional intelligence and how anxiety is contagious. We also discuss important life skills for kids around multi pack beer buying (James) in the supermarket and the "chicken challenge" (Ian)
Rachel shines a light on the type of support that she has been supplying to business:
- Practicalities of balancing work and "home school"
- Mental Well Being
- Motivation and Mindset
and now
*Transition to school - Staycation topics
Plus her views on how, in her experience, corporate business will treat flexible and remote working in the future.
James brings to the table research from the Global Institute for Women’s Leadership at King’s College London that says "Women doing more childcare under lockdown but men more likely to feel their jobs are suffering"
Ian gets excited about booking a haircut and we discuss the pros and cons of potential holiday destinations.
Top tips include video call lighting, smelly crisps and rethinking who to spend precious time with post lockdown.
If you liked this you can register for a free webinar on Friday 10th July, 11am - 12pm
Rachel Vecht is hosting the 'Dads Matter: Changing the Culture of Working Dads' panel discussion.
Join Ian, James, Brian Ballantyne and Dan Reed as we discuss all things dad, and all things lockdown.
Registar here:
https://us02web.zoom.us/webinar/register/WN_qqgaIWgGQ5SsTVRl9UeztQ
Rachel Vecht
Website: https://www.educatingmatters.co.uk/
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/rachelvecht-educatingmatters/
Research link:
https://www.kcl.ac.uk/news/women-doing-more-childcare-under-lockdown-but-men-more-likely-to-feel-their-jobs-are-suffering
About Lockdown Dads
James and Ian are recording a weekly ‘show’ exploring the impact of lockdown, self isolation and social distancing on working dads. We’ll share tips, thoughts and stories with special guests, discuss our hopes for the future and the opportunities that all this represents, especially for dads who want to be more active and involved fathers but who until now have struggled with the expectations of what it means to be a man in the workplace.
We hope you enjoy watching and listening!
To get in touch, submit your tips and learn about us click here:
https://www.inspiringdads.co.uk/lockdown-dads
James and Ian are joined by Han-Son Lee, Founder of Daddilife
We talked to single dad Han-Son about how his son's Lego depiction of him as "Wolfman" sitting at a desk was a trigger point to make changes in how he was working in during lockdown.
In the light of James and Ian discovering they have walked the same route 24 hours apart, we reflected on the importance of outdoors and being grateful for that access. Plus Ian demonstrated the benefits of a power nap!
We discussed new Daddilife lockdown research showing that "76% of respondents believe they are more involved dads now than they were before the Covid crisis." We explored exactly what dads were doing to be more involved and most importantly what type of change these same dads wanted - including significant amount of more flexible and remote working.
Han-Son shared his concerned for the mental health of parents and children.
James celebrated the reduction of Joe Wicks' home PE sessions and we shared some profound top tips...
Han-Son Lee
The research: https://www.daddilife.com/dads-in-lockdown/
Website: https://www.daddilife.com/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/daddilife/
About Lockdown Dads
James and Ian are recording a weekly ‘show’ exploring the impact of lockdown, self isolation and social distancing on working dads. We’ll share tips, thoughts and stories with special guests, discuss our hopes for the future and the opportunities that all this represents, especially for dads who want to be more active and involved fathers but who until now have struggled with the expectations of what it means to be a man in the workplace.
We hope you enjoy watching and listening!
To get in touch, submit your tips and learn about us click here:
https://www.inspiringdads.co.uk/lockdown-dads
James and Ian are joined by Douglas Ross, Scottish Conservative MP for Moray
We talked toddlers, tatties and tories and what it was like to hit the headlines in the wake of the Dominic Cummings lockdown travel controversy.
Douglas talks about how the pandemic meant he was there when his son started walking, while the increase in constituent work offset the lack of travel to Westminster.
We talk about steps towards modernising parliamentary work - for instance nearly 150 MPs are Proxy voting on Wednesday, including Douglas, whose wife is on a night shift as a Police Sergeant. While also recognising the importance of face to face interaction for select committee work.
We discuss the emotional impact of schools not going back yet - especially when in England we are only halfway through - assuming a September return - eye opening stuff!
We reflect on differences in Scotland v England in terms opening up the economy - with many Scots looking over the fence enviously at garden centres opening.
Plus we take dip into Douglas' second job as an assistant referee (his last appointment was Rangers v Celtic!) and ask him what it will be like as an official when high level football starts again behind closed doors and with covid protocols in place.
Top tips including hats to cover your dodgy haircut and buying duplicates of your child's favourite soft toy!
Douglas Ross
Twitter: www.twitter.com/Douglas4Moray
Website: https://www.douglasross.org.uk/
About Lockdown Dads
James and Ian are recording a weekly ‘show’ exploring the impact of lockdown, self isolation and social distancing on working dads. We’ll share tips, thoughts and stories with special guests, discuss our hopes for the future and the opportunities that all this represents, especially for dads who want to be more active and involved fathers but who until now have struggled with the expectations of what it means to be a man in the workplace.
We hope you enjoy watching and listening!
To get in touch, submit your tips and learn about us click here:
https://www.inspiringdads.co.uk/lockdown-dads
James and Ian are joined by comedian, Philip Simon
Philip talks about the profound difficulties trying to make a living as a comedian at the moment and how his focus and creativity has massively increased as he struggles to earn a living and provide for his family..
Ian talks about solo babysitting his 2 year old niece and we contrast her simple needs with the challenges that James' 12 year old daughter is facing. Philip shares his experience of his son's return to school and the excitement of the yellow table.
We talk politics and the cynicism inevitably generated when it appears to be "do as I say, not do as I do". Watch out for some crazy metaphors in there.
Will we look back in 20 years and wonder how we survived? In the same way perhaps we laugh about 4 TV channels and a trip to Blockbuster. Plus we discuss if this year masks will become a fashion accessory with Philip, a man who shows us Captain America and Harry Potter designs, among others!
We dip into the culture of Guernsey v Jersey rivalry and my mother in law gets accused of being a "donkey."
Then we finish with an Ikea joke that in a moment of classic lockdown Zoom hilarity, Philip had to rerecord after his audio cut out on the punchline.
Philip Simon
School’s Out Comedy Club - Subscribe and watch the videos here: bit.ly/SchoolsOutComedy
Submit jokes here: bit.ly/SOGoogle_Form
Personalised Daddy Pig Videos:
Having played Daddy Pig in the original UK theatre production of Peppa Pig, Philip started producing personalised videos and birthday greetings to send to children stuck at home during the lockdown.
More info here: https://forms.gle/byviYhvRutKVHG7QA
You can also catch up with Philip Simon here:
YouTube: bit.ly/P_S_YouTube
Facebook: www.facebook.com/PhilipsComedy
Twitter: www.twitter.com/PhilipsComedy
Instagram: www.instagram.com/PhilipsComedy
Newsletter: bit.ly/P_S_Newsletter
And, if you like what I do you can also buy me a Coffee: Ko-fi.com/philipscomedy
About Lockdown Dads
James and Ian are recording a weekly ‘show’ exploring the impact of lockdown, self isolation and social distancing on working dads. We’ll share tips, thoughts and stories with special guests, discuss our hopes for the future and the opportunities that all this represents, especially for dads who want to be more active and involved fathers but who until now have struggled with the expectations of what it means to be a man in the workplace.
We hope you enjoy watching and listening!
To get in touch, submit your tips and learn about us click here:
https://www.inspiringdads.co.uk/lockdown-dads
In Episode 5 James and Ian are joined by expert Psychotherapist , Noel McDermott
We talk about the some of the upside of lockdown - more opportunities for self care, better diet and exercise, but at the same time the risk of a 'tsunami' of mental health issues as people move out of survival mode.
Noel explains the importance of the 3 core elements of mental health stability - home, work and relationships and how this pandemic undermines each of them.
We discuss opportunities for improved equality and the challenges that we face along the way. James and I learn something new as Noel explains the physical and psychological benefits of housework that men are missing out on!
We find out why using alcohol in lockdown is a problem, inparticular, for men.
At the end Noel gives lockdown dads his 3 top simple tips to improve mental health - it's definitely worth sticking around to the end for those.
Noel McDermott
https://twitter.com/NoelMcDermott
https://www.noelmcdermott.net/
some benefits of housework
https://newsinfo.iu.edu/web/page/normal/14627.html
https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/19934011/
About Lockdown Dads
James and Ian are recording a weekly ‘show’ exploring the impact of lockdown, self isolation and social distancing on working dads. We’ll share tips, thoughts and stories with special guests, discuss our hopes for the future and the opportunities that all this represents, especially for dads who want to be more active and involved fathers but who until now have struggled with the expectations of what it means to be a man in the workplace.
We hope you enjoy watching and listening!
To get in touch, submit your tips and learn about us click here:
https://www.inspiringdads.co.uk/lockdown-dads
In Episode 4, James and Ian are joined by former Labour MP, business owner and dad of 4, James Frith.
We talk about the competing needs of 4 kids of different ages and the struggle to find 1 on 1 time with children and your partner - in fact we go as far as to wistfully remember "Date Night."
Join us as we dig deeper into the debate on reopening schools: Covid safety v equality issues. James Frith brings his perspective as a Dad and as a former member of the Education Select Committee.
We discuss the need to "build back better" and the hopes for structural change in society rather than just scrabbling around in an emergency.
Plus...
James channels his inner Norman Tebbitt (!) as we discuss the national shortage of bikes, Henry Frith (8) makes a guest appearance - we discover the like father, like son tales of DIY haircuts and James talks about 12 years in his band Finka and how he once played at Glastonbury.
James Frith
https://twitter.com/JamesFrith
https://www.inspiringdads.co.uk/articles/2019/2/18/jamesfrith
About Lockdown Dads
James and Ian are recording a weekly ‘show’ exploring the impact of lockdown, self isolation and social distancing on working dads. We’ll share tips, thoughts and stories with special guests, discuss our hopes for the future and the opportunities that all this represents, especially for dads who want to be more active and involved fathers but who until now have struggled with the expectations of what it means to be a man in the workplace.
We hope you enjoy watching and listening!
To get in touch, submit your tips and learn about us click here:
https://www.inspiringdads.co.uk/lockdown-dads
In Episode 3, James and Ian are joined by Comedian Tiernan Douieb.
We talk about how to explain Covid to a 2 year old, the struggles of the self employed, private renters and how comics are adapting to the new world.
Plus tales of excessive present buying for the kids aka "The Christmas of Death", should pandemics be more interesting and why does Ian have a cat called Boris?
Join us as we discuss the fortunate (suspicious?!) timing of the Disney+ launch, learn about the Immortal Jellyfish and discover exactly what upsets Tiernan about the remake of the Muppet Babies.
Tiernan Douieb
https://www.tiernandouieb.co.uk/
https://www.facebook.com/tiernandouieb/
https://twitter.com/tiernandouieb
https://www.comedyclub4kids.co.uk/
The Immortal Jellyfish
https://www.bbcearth.com/blog/?article=the-jellyfish-that-never-dies
About Lockdown Dads
James and Ian are recording a weekly ‘show’ exploring the impact of lockdown, self isolation and social distancing on working dads. We’ll share tips, thoughts and stories with special guests, discuss our hopes for the future and the opportunities that all this represents, especially for dads who want to be more active and involved fathers but who until now have struggled with the expectations of what it means to be a man in the workplace.
We hope you enjoy watching and listening!
To get in touch, submit your tips and learn about us click here:
https://www.inspiringdads.co.uk/lockdown-dads
In Episode 2, James and Ian are joined by #1 Dad Blogger and LinkedIn "Changemaker", John Adams.
We discuss the Covid 19 opportunity to embed flexible working, the potential pressures on families when workplaces open but schools and childcare don't and legal and moral challenges facing employers of trying to return "to normal."
Discover why it's important to keep "your hand in" even if your furloughed and the benefits of involving the whole family in chores, all that, plus we talk about the community aspect of football and whether we will remember this as the year of the home haircut or the cherry bakewell digestive!
John Adams
https://www.linkedin.com/in/john-adams-dadbloguk/
https://dadbloguk.com/
Dr Jasmine Kelland, University of Plymouth
Press release: https://www.plymouth.ac.uk/news/survey-suggests-covid-19-could-have-long-term-benefits-for-family-life
Interview extract: https://twitter.com/heartswnews/status/1257966798269489152?s=12
In the debut episode of Lockdown Dads, James Millar and Ian Dinwiddy get competitive about press-ups, discuss tips for coping with lockdown and reflect on what we might remember "When I'm 64".
Discover the importance of non-iron shirts and how real dads are re-evaluating their work and family priorities.
About Lockdown Dads
James and Ian are recording a weekly ‘show’ exploring the impact of lockdown, self isolation and social distancing on working dads. We’ll share tips, thoughts and stories with special guests, discuss our hopes for the future and the opportunities that all this represents, especially for dads who want to be more active and involved fathers but who until now have struggled with the expectations of what it means to be a man in the workplace.
We hope you enjoy watching and listening!
To get in touch, submit your tips and learn about us click here:
https://www.inspiringdads.co.uk/lockdown-dads