Jetwelder: Recent Episodes
Jetwelder
"...sounds mostly like mechanical garage rock created by Victorian robots who were programmed by scientists who don't really understand what they are doing."........ --animator/cartoonist/musician Xeth Feinberg
Originally did this back in 2009. Now that I'm a Certified Old Fart, it hits even harder. Remixed at home June 2024.---------------------You know That the world is what has changedThey want youTo go off and dieAnd that can be arrangedAll the bright lights are going outAnd all the old madmen are goneYou're slowThey want you to step asideYou take too long At the burger jointYou're holding up the lineAll the bright lights are going outAnd all the old madmen are goneWhen you're old you scrape byWhen you're old you go dryWhen you're oldYou shake your monkey fist at timeYou knowYou have no place in these daysYou step ontoAn ice floeAnd you sadly sail awayAll the bright lights are going outAnd all the old madmen are goneWhen you're old you use your blurWhen you're old you lose your furWhen you're oldAll the tastes don't seem as bright as they wereWhen you're old you scrape byWhen you're old you go dryWhen you're oldYou shake your monkey fist at time==========written by Tony Fitzgerald© 2009, 2024 The Davis Baby Music (ASCAP)
Going on hiatus for a little while. Might be back soon, but maybe not.Here's an old fave from 2011 that strangely sums up my feelings in 2024.This would be a good place to thank all the adventurous listeners who supported and enjoyed Jetwelder's musical offerings for the last 30 years. Your numbers are tiny but you are mighty.================Recorded at home by Tony Fitzgerald in the 21st Century.Remixed and remastered in 2018.written by Tony Fitzgerald© 2011 The Davis Baby Music (ASCAP)
I got a feeling that, because this track has "ass" in the title and in the lyrics, it's probably NSFW. Just a suggestion.========================Na na na na na naahBoot up every morningHello Mr. Glass Of Orange Juice andIt comes as a warningToo much time spent looking upNot enough time spent looking downI seep in like gasI’m the next generation pain in the assYou shall not passI’m the next generation pain in the ass21st Century wearing the suitOf a dancing dank gorilla21st Century getting the bootWell I hope it doesn’t kill yaNa na na na na naahAnd then in the eveningAll the shadows get longer thenAnd people are leavingThey can sense that chaos lurksThey just wanna get home from workI seep in like gasI’m the next generation pain in the assYou shall not passI’m the next generation pain in the ass21st Century wearing the suitOf a dancing dank gorilla21st Century getting the bootWell I hope it doesn’t kill yaI seep in like gasI’m the next generation pain in the assYou shall not passI’m the next generation pain in the ass21st Century saying “so long”Drops the lavender agenda21st Century offers a songThey’ll call it “Red Globe Contender”Na na na na na naah================Recorded at home by Tony Fitzgerald in the 21st Century.written by Tony Fitzgerald© 2010, 2023 The Davis Baby Music (ASCAP)
Hey ResidentThe turquoise phase is underwayGreat supposedlySay, OccupantThe turquoise phase is underwayNow babyYes we’d love to be your heroesThough we’re mostly ones and zeroesAnd all the work we did todayEnds up crushed on the highwayHey CitizenThe turquoise phase is underwayToday maybeHail PlebeianThe turquoise phase is underwayDig it babyAnd we’d love to be your idolsThere’s no need to be homicidalAnd we fill those cracks and holesIn your mind. This is our goalYou better hide your car todayThe turquoise phase is underwayLet’s get reasonable for an hour for twoNow that the fury has been unleashedOur health insurance has increasedWhat the Hell can a tiny person do?Say OccupantThe turquoise phase is underwayNow babyHey ResidentThe turquoise phase is underwayGreat supposedlyAnd we’d love to be a deityWe’ll pretend that we’re high and mightyAnd the world we will createSomething supposedly greatSomething supposedly great=====================================Recorded at home by Tony Fitzgerald in the 21st Century.written by Tony Fitzgerald© 2011, 2023 The Davis Baby Music (ASCAP)
Directly above the center of the Earth Directly above the center of the Earth
Yesterday I climbed a tree The further from this world to be The birds flew around and they laughed at the ground The birds flew around and laughed at me
Directly above the center of the Earth Directly above the center of the Earth
===================================== Originally written and recorded during a mushroom trip in July 1997.
This version is newer and spookier. Recorded at home by Tony Fitzgerald in the 21st Century.
written by Tony Fitzgerald © 1997, 2014, 2023 The Davis Baby Music (ASCAP)
PRETENTIOUS TITLE: The Subtitle (With A Little Bit In Parentheses) ----> a medley or suite in five parts <------
I) Mama Globe (introduction with intrusive samples)
II) Tired Disco Too tired to disco No time to party I think I’ve had enough I think I’ve had enough Too tired for the nightlife Too tired to boogie I think I’ve had enough I think I’ve had enough Too tired to disco Exhausted from the robot I think I’ve had enough I think I’ve had enough Too weary to hustle My dead ass home
Too tired for the disco Too tired to get down I think I’ve had enough I think I’ve had enough Too tired to get down ‘Coz I might stay down I think I’ve had enough I think I’ve had enough Too tired for the disco For the disco round I think I’ve had enough I think I’ve had enough Too weary to hustle My dead ass home
III) Learned The Hard Way Learned the hard way Always Do Learned the hard way Just like you Hit the highway Sign in hand Learned the hard way And ain’t it grand?
Dawn breaks over Marblehead Now at least I’m not the dumbest guy in the room
Learned the hard way Lightning rod Learned the hard way Ejecto- Pod Did it my way That’s no way at all Learned the hard way That I can’t recall
Dawn breaks over Marblehead Now at least I’m not the dumbest guy in the room
IV) Argument Jockey (drone interlude with ubiquitous samples)
V) Souls Are Stupid As we know Souls are stupid And hearts are even worse And feeling is a curse In your cool universe
So let’s say Souls are stupid Their sorrow never ends Though they might pretend With their remaining friends
When you’re in the sky flying around You can afford to laugh at the ground And soon you might become that Cold Dead Moon You’ll never catch him crying
So you see Souls are stupid They only hold you back Never give you any slack Even if you crack
When you’re in the sky flying around You can afford to laugh at the ground And soon you might become that Cold Dead Moon You’ll never catch him crying =========================
recorded at home by Tony Fitzgerald one week in July 2023 written by Tony Fitzgerald © 2023 The Davis Baby Music (ASCAP)
REMIXED!
This is the place where diamonds go To turn back into coal This is the place to learn about The science of holes Everybody driving in their cars They’re turning right into Colfax And when their tail lights fade They’re not coming back
Not need to wonder why Their lives just aren’t as good as getting high
From Pifler’s to the Dollar Tree It’s fun to steal from the king And anywhere is the same as nowhere And anything is the same as nothing We just need a dark warm room Where we can smoke and smoke Where there’s a groovy parking lot Where time is just another joke
All your Pie In The Sky It really can’t compare with getting high Great Googly My-Oh-My Their lives are not as good as getting high
Their faces look just like the moon Those sores won’t be healing soon You’re waking up to a harsh alarm Blaring a scary tune Open up your eyes and see Those pricks shut down the Dollar Tree That old abandoned Burger King I can’t let that happen to me I Can’t Let That Happen
The world you can supply Simply can’t compete with getting high No need to mention why Their lives are not as good as getting high
So sorry we disturbed you You can go back to sleep now Safe. Nighty night. Safe and restful You can go back you can go back to sleep now Safe. Nighty night. Never mind the alarm You can go back to sleep now Safe. Nighty night. Safe and restful Go back to sleep nighty night Safe. Nighty night. ++++++
recorded at home spring 2023 by Tony Fitzgerald written by Tony Fitzgerald © 2023 The Davis Baby Music (ASCAP)
This is the place where diamonds goTo turn back into coalThis is the place to learn aboutThe science of holesEverybody driving in their carsThey’re turning right into ColfaxAnd when their tail lights fadeThey’re not coming backNot need to wonder whyTheir lives just aren’t as good as getting highFrom Pifler’s to the Dollar TreeIt’s fun to steal from the kingAnd anywhere is the same as nowhereAnd anything is the same as nothingWe just need a dark warm roomWhere we can smoke and smokeWhere there’s a groovy parking lotWhere time is just another jokeAll your Pie In The SkyIt really can’t compare with getting highGreat Googly My-Oh-MyTheir lives are not as good as getting highTheir faces look just like the moonThose sores won’t be healing soonYou’re waking up to a harsh alarmBlaring a scary tuneOpen up your eyes and seeThose pricks shut down the Dollar TreeThat old abandoned Burger KingI can’t let that happen to meICan’tLetThatHappenThe world you can supplySimply can’t compete with getting highNo need to mention whyTheir lives are not as good as getting highSo sorry we disturbed youYou can go back to sleep nowSafe. Nighty night.Safe and restfulYou can go back you can go back to sleep nowSafe. Nighty night.Never mind the alarmYou can go back to sleep nowSafe. Nighty night.Safe and restfulGo back to sleep nighty nightSafe. Nighty night.======================Recorded at home by Tony FitzgeraldMay 2023Fitzgerald did this: guitars, keyboards, bass, drum machines, percussion and vocalswords and music by Tony Fitzgeraldsongs p © 2023 The Davis Baby Music (ASCAP)
At a deserted Sinclair gas station4 AM rural highway in PennsylvaniaInside the dusty garage bayI saw the ghost shirtWhirling in the debrisSpinning and undulating in the dim lightCars pass byTheir headlights shifting illuminated squares across the wallsThrough which I saw the ghost shirtWhirling in the debrisFluorescent and whiteI never told anybody======================Recorded at home by Tony FitzgeraldMarch 2023Fitzgerald did this: keyboards, bass, electronic sounds, drum machines, percussion and vocalswords and music by Tony Fitzgeraldsongs p © 2023 The Davis Baby Music (ASCAP)
You’re an edgelord with a keyboardA hurricane when you’re boredSo what you gonna do?Do you pwn the internetOr does the internet pwn you?You had a Hot TakeIt was a hot mistakeThe blogs are giving you the wordThat you are this week’s turdDon’t look nowDon’t look nowDon’t look nowYou might be turd of the weekWhat ya gonna do when you finally make bailAnd get sprung from the Online Jail?Will you double downOr act like a clownOr lay low and maybe wailThey were looking for a chumpEverybody takes a dumpNo worries friend it’s got to get betterBecause you won’t be famous foreverDon’t look nowDon’t look nowDon’t look nowYou might be turd of the weekYou might be turd of the week======================recorded at home March 2023written by Tony Fitzgerald© 2023 The Davis Baby Music (ASCAP)Fitzgerald did this--> Casio and Yamaha keyboards, bass, Korg keyboards, drum sounds and vocals
Ignorance is blissThat’s what the experts sayThey’re always trying toSell you something anywayYour inbox gets filledEach and every dayBut you could and you shouldAhhhhYou better check me outI’m yesterday’s mailYour life might haveChanged yesterday wholesaleDown in that pileThere could be a letterA letter from someoneWho writes that they love youBut you’ll never knowDisengagement isn’t everythingAnd you shouldCatch up on your correspondenceFor goodYou’d muster up the effortIf you couldBut if you could and you wouldAhhhhYou better check me outI’m yesterday’s mailYour life might haveChanged yesterday without failDown in that pileThere could be a letterA letter from someoneWho writes that they need youBut you’ll never know======================recorded at home March 2023written by Tony Fitzgerald© 2023 The Davis Baby Music (ASCAP)Fitzgerald did this--> guitars, bass, Korg keyboards, drum sounds and vocals
Good morning demonsI trust you slept okayYou're wondering whyI called you here todayWe're having a very rough quarterAnd we can't afford to keep you aroundSorry, demons, It's time to clean out your deskWe'll give you all good referencesBecause you're the bestAnd we'll also offerA nice severance package planWe thank you for your effortsTo avoid the wreckage manGood morning, demonsMaybe, demons,We'll work together again somedayIf you wanna use your sick daysThat's okaySadly we're having a very rough quarterSorry we had to pull the plugGood morning, Demons==========================written by Tony Fitzgeraldrecorded at home February 2023© 2023 The Davis Baby Music (ASCAP)Fitzgerald did this--> guitars, bass, Casio keyboards, drum sounds and vocals
An ambulance just went by It wasn’t coming for me An ambulance just went by It wasn’t coming for me
This one wasn’t for me But is the next one free?
An ambulance just went by I wonder who is inside Could it be a friend of mine Going for a ride?
This one wasn’t for me But is the next one free? Is the next one for me? Is the next one free?
Go Go Ambulance
An ambulance just went by But it wasn’t my day Someday I will ride in style And someone else will then say An ambulance just went by It wasn’t coming for me An ambulance just went by It wasn’t coming for me
This one wasn’t for me But is the next one free?
Go Go Ambulance
written by Tony Fitzgerald recorded at home November 2022 © 1998, 2022 The Davis Baby Music (ASCAP)
Fitzgerald did this--> guitars, bass, keyboards, drum sounds and vocals
Why should I only be one story? Better to be a tortured allegory I wanna be a victim of random circumstance And wake up with my legs in someone else’s pants
I wanna be free to be other people Be other people other than me Free to be other people Be other people I always wanted to be
I want to change the channel to an awesome new series Leave you behind to your conjectures and your theories
Someday I’ll squirt out of this world like a watermelon seed And all those other people at last they will be freed
I wanna be free to be other people Be other people other than me Free to be other people Be other people I always wanted to be
And who do we want to be today? Who do we want to be?
========================== written by Tony Fitzgerald recorded at home November 2022 © 2003, 2022 The Davis Baby Music (ASCAP)
Fitzgerald did this--> bass, keyboards, drum sounds and vocals
The age of hopeful monsters Is coming to an end We hope we won’t see monsters The likes of them again And we don’t need to give monsters Any more encouragement
Please monsters Don’t hurt ‘em
The age of hopeful monsters Might come back again someday The average joe can’t be trusted To keep those monsters at bay And some of them become monsters Themselves and go astray
And no one wants to live through Some monster’s golden age
Please monsters Don’t hurt ‘em
========================== written by Tony Fitzgerald recorded at home July 2022 © 2022 The Davis Baby Music (ASCAP)
Fitzgerald did this--> bass, keyboards, drum sounds and vocals
Karens and Darrens They’re living large And they’d like a word With whoever’s in charge
They want service And they want it fast And they want it cheap They’re a pain in the ass
You want to start an argument With the employees or the management Let’s all join The Great Resigning To get away from your constant whining
Karens and Darrens Make no mistake When they come around It’s time to take your break
Karens and Darren’s World takeover bid They’re gonna yell at Some poor high school kid
They wear the same clothes They wear the same frown Same pineapple haircu Turned upside down
Karens and Darrens They got no shame Entitlement Is the name of the game
Thank you for choosing me today Can I help you to go away? Everyone on my shift is quitting Because of you and I ain’t shitting
Karens and Darrens They’re living large And they’d like a word With whoever Whoever’s in charge
========================== written by Tony Fitzgerald recorded at home July 2022 © 2022 The Davis Baby Music (ASCAP)
Fitzgerald did this--> guitars, bass, keyboards, drum sounds and vocals
Hooded figure on the beach He has some business with you His slim white boney fingers Are beckoning you too It could be the Reaper He’s gonna try again But then you consider It could be a It could be a friend
Hooded figure in a black sedan He’ll stop for you, ya know But you cashed in your joie de vivre Such a long long time ago So then you remember The horror never ends So you reconsider It could be a It could be a friend
========================== written by Tony Fitzgerald recorded at home July-August 2022 © 2022 The Davis Baby Music (ASCAP)
Fitzgerald did this--> guitars, keyboards, and vocals
You seem quite unimpressed with the 75 watt sun It shines its feeble light on everyone Epic poems are composed about the 75 watt sun It could be inspiring If it tried a little bit harder
Tried a little bit harder
See see the 75 watt sun I guess it’s almost somewhat okay Considering the vicious things we’ve done And every day is a Sunday Sunday
The advantages of a 75 watt sun I’m just kidding! There are none It would almost be inspiring If it tried a little bit harder sometimes
It’s our 75 watt sun Expectations have fizzled away Appreciate just what that sun has done And every day is a Sunday Sunday
See see the 75 watt sun I guess it’s almost somewhat okay A tiny bit of sun for everyone And every day is a Sunday Sunday
========================== written by Tony Fitzgerald recorded at home July 2022 © 2022 The Davis Baby Music (ASCAP)
Fitzgerald did this--> guitars, bass, keyboards, drum sounds and vocals
No Hell No It's not your circus any more It belongs to the clowns and the acrobats No Hell No It's not your circus any more It belongs to the elephants and big cats
And nobody here needs a ringmaster (Too bad for you) And the show will go on without the bastard (So sad for you) And nobody loves the gatekeepers They're just a bunch of old creepers (They'd love to take you out)
No Hell No It's not your circus any more The trapeze artists all know No Hell No It's not your circus any more The Human Cannonball and the entire geek show
It's not your circus...
Maybe you can sell popcorn On the midway between shows Maybe you could sell tickets You'd be good at that you know
You'd be good at that you know
========================== written by Tony Fitzgerald recorded at home June-July 2022 © 2022 The Davis Baby Music (ASCAP)
Fitzgerald did this--> Cheezee keyboards, bass, drum sounds, circus aroma and vocals
A glorious destiny awaits you That's what the people say We sing this song in unison To ourselves most of the day
Ahhhh
A glorious destiny awaits you The message gets received Onward glorious soldiers You really must believe
It's a glorious glowing city on a hill
========================== written by Tony Fitzgerald recorded at home June 2022 © 2022 The Davis Baby Music (ASCAP)
Fitzgerald did this--> keyboards, random sampling, and vocals
Many of the samples on this track came from The Museum Of Endangered Sounds. Many kudos to them! Truly an awesome site that's absolutely worth your investigative time. Hours of fun!
http://savethesounds.info/
Mumbo Jumbo OK Uh-huuuh Love mumbo jumbo forever
Go to the record store and close your eyes Put your hand out and try not to stumble Now grab any random batch of sounds You’ve got a handful of love mumbo jumbo
Mumbo Jumbo OK Uh-huuuh Love mumbo jumbo forever
Love mumbo jumbo is everywhere I’m afraid that is a fact But thank the lord for love mumbo jumbo Or we wouldn’t know how to act
Mumbo Jumbo OK Uh-huuuh Love mumbo jumbo forever ========================== written by Tony Fitzgerald recorded at home June 2022 © 2022 The Davis Baby Music (ASCAP)
Fitzgerald did this--> guitars, bass, keyboards, drum sounds and vocals
(commence drivethru story in 5-4-3-9-12-11-)
The guy in the car ahead of you It’s his anniversary He has a big long complicated order But the microphone is of cheap and poor quality
When he realizes nothing is happening He gets very angry He forgot his anniversary And things are bad at home, you see
The fumes of resentment Set ablaze by a spark of anger The familiar beloved face of the iconic hamburger clown Brutally shattered all over the concrete
Looks like you’ll never get your goddamned double cheeseburger now!
You deserve a break today Ahhhh
========================== written by Tony Fitzgerald recorded at home June 2022 © 2022 The Davis Baby Music (ASCAP)
Fitzgerald did this--> guitars, bass, keyboards, drum sounds and vocals
Born to be a Yes Man What’s the best thing you can say? Nope nope nope Nope nope nope And we saw it online So it must be true okay Nope nope nope Nope nope nope
Please everybody If we haven’t done What we could’ve done We tried We tried!
Bred to be a nice guy Maybe on some other day Nope nope nope Nope nope nope
Please everybody If we haven’t done What we could’ve done We tried And we tried How we tried Yes we tried And we tried
Born to be a Yes Man What’s the best thing you can say? Nope nope nope Nope nope nope ========================== written by Tony Fitzgerald recorded at home June 2022 © 2022 The Davis Baby Music (ASCAP)
Fitzgerald did this--> guitars, bass, keyboards, drum sounds and vocals
They call me Styrofoam Fang Leader of the polythene gang And we’re just doing our thang Call me Styrofoam Fang I’m a dude too heavy to hang And my bell is already rang
Take some drugs Do some crimes Go to court It’s Judge punching time
Have you seen my Styrofoam Fang Good gosh golly gol-dang And I wish I were in the Wu Tang Pleased to meet Styrofoam Fang I wanna go out with a bang But I’ll be back like a boomerang
Take some drugs Do some crimes Go to court It’s Judge punching time Go to jail You’ll do fine! Out on bail It’s Judge punching time +++++++++++++++++++++++++ written by Tony Fitzgerald recorded at home June 2022 © 2006, 2022 The Davis Baby Music (ASCAP)
Fitzgerald did this--> guitars, bass, keyboards, drum sounds and vocals
The ghost in the car ahead of you It’s his anniversary Celebrating that special day Of his sad and small catastrophe
The ghost in the car ahead of you Just turned right into the drivethru He so dearly wants to do All the things that he used to
It’s his anniversary Anniversary ================== written by Tony Fitzgerald recorded at home May 2022 © 2022 The Davis Baby Music (ASCAP)
Fitzgerald did this--> keyboards, sample manipulation and vocals
Would you like to kiss my wallet? It’s shiny and it’s thick The Middle Class can’t get enough Because my money’s sick
Still in love still in love With the world that tried to crush you so Look above look above And watch that money go
Sick plans need sick money Sick things need sick money Sick money
Old money smells too funny Held by dumb elitist dick New money’s crisp and sunny But it isn’t really sick
Still in love still in love With the world that tried to crush us so Look above look above I said watch that money Watch that money go
================== a very short ass song by Tony Fitzgerald recorded at home May 2022 © 2022 The Davis Baby Music (ASCAP)
Fitzgerald did this--> guitars, bass, keyboards, drum sounds and vocals
I’m thirty minutes ahead of my time And it was almost fun There still is so much to be done
I’m in fairly good shape For a sad and broken ape I’m hanging in there for you
I got hair and teeth and eyes But I don’t know how My mind is working most of the time now
I’m in fairly good shape For a sad and broken ape I’m hanging in there for you
I’m in fairly good shape I won’t try to escape I’m hanging in there for you I’m in fairly good shape For a sad and naked ape I’m hanging in there for you
============= another very short ass song by Tony Fitzgerald recorded at home May 2022 © 2022 The Davis Baby Music (ASCAP)
Fitzgerald did this--> bass, keyboards, drum sounds and vocals
Where there’s a hole There’s money to be made Industry needs some holes And a ticker tape parade
Where there’s a hole Some people will get paid Throw money down a hole The economy is saved
The economy is played
======================== yet another short arse song by Tony Fitzgerald recorded at home May 2022 © 2022 The Davis Baby Music (ASCAP)
Fitzgerald did this--> bass, keyboards, samples, drum sounds and vocals
You gotta win you gotta eat You gotta win you gotta eat Vitamins will save your skin Don’t you want to win?
You gotta win you gotta eat You gotta win you gotta eat Losing vim like a skeleton Don’t you want to win?
Psychologists say it’s an issue of control But if they were always right then we wouldn’t need them at all
You gotta win you gotta eat You gotta win you gotta eat You should fit a dinner in Don’t you want to win?
You gotta win you gotta eat You gotta win you gotta eat Dinner In and move your chin Don’t you want to win?
Nutritional experts they have guidelines for You and I to follow whenever we go to the food store Nutritional experts they’d be shocked for sure If the saw what we just ate, their buttholes would slam shut like car doors Ahhh
You gotta win you gotta eat You gotta win you gotta eat Looking pale and frail and thin Don’t you want to win? Don’t you want to win?
Oh yeah You gotta win You gotta eat You gotta win You gotta eat
=============================== Another food song from the upcoming cuisine-oriented EP Tommy's Lunch Written and recorded at home by Tony Fitzgerald © 2003 & 2022 The Davis Baby Music (ASCAP)
Fitzgerald played this====>guitar, bass, Roland DR 770 and vocals
Well I’m getting out of bed And I got it in my head To find me a box o food People popping out of doorways Enjoying a box o food If you knew how I seek out chow You’d maybe have a stroke If I don’t find me a box o food I think that I might croak
Box o food Box O Box O Food
Here’s a styrofoam box With a latch that locks All the goodness deep inside There’s a lid on the top So the food won’t rock If you take that box for a ride Internal walls To prevent coleslaw From getting on the fries If I don’t find me a box o food I think I’m a-gonna die
Box o food Box O Box O Food
In days of olde I was often told When the big orange ball’s in the sky Your tribe will hunt for a box o food So they don’t get sick and die But when the ball goes down And the sky gets dark Hide in your cave and brood There’s spiders and deadly things in the night And it’s too dark to hunt for a box o food
Well my hands are shaky And my head is achy Gotta find me a box o food If you wanna start The quickest way to my heart Is through a box o food I got so annoyed I asked Sigmund Freud And he turned around and whined “Hey! Yo dude! Your box o food Is a figment of a very sick mind”
Box o food Box O Box O Food ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ Recorded at home April 5-7, 2022 by Tony Fitzgerald © 1998 & 2022 The Davis Baby Music (ASCAP)
Fitzgerald played this====> keyboards, drum machine and vocals
A jolly Pop Singalong!
If somebody gave a million dollars to you Would you eat shit on a plate? You would never again Have to work, my friend, at that rate
How about broken down into smaller amounts Every week eat some shit on a plate Would you choke back a sob And pretend it’s your job as you ate?
Shit on a plate
If somebody gave a billion dollars to you Would you eat shit on a plate? And for additional pay Would you smile and say it tastes great?
Shit on a plate ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ Recorded at home by Tony Fitzgerald © 2002 & 2022 The Davis Baby Music (ASCAP)
Fitzgerald played this====> guitars, bass, keyboards, drum machine and vocals
Celebrity Death Car is coming to town It's only two dollars why don't you come down? Celebrity Death Car is falling apart And it sorta looks like some bad modern art Celebrity Death Car is something to see It might've been nice before it wrapped 'round a tree Celebrity Death Car at your local mall Let this be a lesson to one and to all
I wanna ride I wanna sit inside In the place where he turned to her and said "Baby, why don't you just cut the crap?"
Celebrity Death Car it's morbid I guess Some wont want to see it unless under duress Celebrity Death Car there's somebody who Went to some trouble to bring it to you
I wanna ride I wanna sit inside In the place where he turned to her and said "Baby, why don't you just cut the crap?"
Celebrity Death Car is coming to town It's only two dollars why don't you come down? Celebrity Death Car at your local mall Let this be a lesson to one and to all
Celebrity Death Car Yeah Celebrity Death Car =========================
Song by Tony Fitzgerald © 2003 & 2022 The Davis Baby Music (ASCAP)
Fitzgerald played this====> old Fender guitar, older Hofner bass, ancient Korg keyboard, newer Yamaha keyboards, Roland DR 770, various electronic sound manipulations, and vocals
Everything is going to be nice You’ll get your donuts for half price Chariots of gold will descend from the skies And everything is going to be nice
So sleep nighty-night Perchance to dream Everything’s as nice As you want it to seem
Everything is going to be good The story turns out the way it should The happy ending is understood And everything is going to be good
Everything is going to be nice The evil fall prey to their own device You’ll muddle through and that should suffice And everything is going to be nice
So sleep nighty-night Perchance to dream Everything’s as nice As you want it to seem
NICE!
A slapping remake of a 20th Century fave. Recorded at home November 2021 by Tony Fitzgerald
Song by Tony Fitzgerald © 1998, 2021 The Davis Baby Music (ASCAP)
Fitzgerald did this====> keyboards, bass, beat generation, electronic sound manipulations and vocals
I’m one of those people Who doesn’t like to let things go to waste Been farming through the dumpster Looking for something good to taste Somebody get me a fork and plate A knife and a spoon cos I can’t wait Monosodium Glutamate You won’t believe what I just ate
Some people Some people Some people will eat anything Some people will eat anything
I said I wasn’t hungry And I already ate before I went out I’ll just have a little sandwich And a whole roast pig with an apple in its mouth Beef lips, corn chips, cheese dip and It’s a damn good thing that I’m a gourmand So I can appreciate what’s at hand Chef Boy-Ar-Dee in a 40 ounce can
Some people Some people Some people will eat anything Some people will eat anything
M&M on the sidewalk Put it in your pocket for a rainy day Waste not want not Who would throw a thing like that away? I never read the Nutrition Facts They’re just more words on the back Of my Pringle’s Party Stack Who would deny us a salty snack?
Some people Some people Some people will eat anything Some people will eat anything Some people will eat anything Some people will eat anything ======================== A brand new version of the traditional children's favorite. written and recorded at home by Tony Fitzgerald November 2021 © 2005, 2021 The Davis Baby Music (ASCAP)
Fitzgerald did this--> bass, guitars, drum sounds and vocals
From the new Jetwelder album TYRANT
Hey tiny time pills Can you take me back home I’m a lost traveler in time and all alone Now tiny time pills Can you please take me away To the day after tomorrow or yesterday
This is the smartest thing we ever did We hopped right off of the grid And the truth unfurled We were trapped in a world We never made Now in the plastic daisyfield we dwell Until the polymers smell And the pills don’t work And we twist through the murk Into relentless shade
Hey tiny time pills If I take too many of you There is no telling what I might do Oh tiny time pills If you go away I’ll be sad I guess you’re the best friend I ever had
Here is a life that’s set up for us Wake up and get on the bus We might spit and curse But it could be worse At least we’re getting by So in the grey cement dream we dwell Inside a scarred-up old shell And if they could, they would Provide a life as good As getting high
Hey tiny time pills I could use some relief Because time is the most ungrateful thief
Hey tiny time pills Hey tiny time pills =============================== written and recorded at home by Tony Fitzgerald September 2021 © 2021 The Davis Baby Music (ASCAP)
Fitzgerald did this--> bass, keyboards, drum sounds and vocals
Everywhere we go Why should this be so? I just wanna know Why do so many things Look like teeth these days?
And every little breeze seems to whisper unease Birds up in the trees seem to twitter disease
It doesn’t make sense that a white picket fence Looks like it might bite off my leg Security spikes it appears they would like To chew me alive like an egg
Every drop of rain I see hisses danger to me The leaves in my tea spell out tyranny
That noisy lawnmower has a jagged contour It looks like it thinks that I’m chow A big bowl of corn is like teeth that are shorn Thank God they can’t threaten me now!
Is something in the air? Like paranoia and despair I see them everywhere Why do so many things Look like teeth these days?
Every flower that’s in bloom promising sudden doom Objects in the room only lead to more gloom
A tunnel’s a scar just a mouth eating cars Disguised as a nice Sunday drive The spikes on the gate they surely can’t wait To eat some poor bastard alive
Is it just my mind? Is everybody blind? Maybe someday I’ll find Why do so many things Look like teeth these days?
And everywhere we go Why should this be so? Maybe I’ll never know Why do so many things Look like teeth these days?
============================= written and recorded at home by Tony Fitzgerald August 2021 © 2021 The Davis Baby Music (ASCAP)
Fitzgerald did this--> bass, keyboards, drum sounds, whoopin' cyber Millennial thing and vocals
Recorded at home Winter-Spring 2021 by Tony Fitzgerald © 2005, 2021 The Davis Baby Music (ASCAP) ======================= If you’re a time traveler From the past or the future We’re sorry Please please please go back home Everything is false here And everything is true Keep an eye on the gaslighter in the corner He just had the best idea! And it’s a damn good thing we do our own Research yes we do
Where do folks applaud appliances Their intrigues and their dark alliances? And we didn’t want to die With his Lies in our eyes And a cellphone in our hand
We’re two halves of different Frankenstein monsters stitched up the middle And we don’t like each other And we don’t want to dance Keep your eyes on the gaslighter in the corner That man’s work is never done And it’s a damn good thing we do our own Research yes it’s true
Where do folks applaud appliances Their intrigues and their dark alliances? And we didn’t want to die With his Lies in our eyes And a cellphone in our hand
Recorded at home May 2021 by Tony Fitzgerald © 2021 The Davis Baby Music (ASCAP) =============================== You and I In darkness alone we strive And we struggle to survive Just to stay alive
You and me Waiting for the bus you see Well at least we’ll have company Never again be lonely
Hold on Hold on The Strugglebus is coming And everybody’s gonna get on board Hooray Hooray The Strugglebus is stopping And the fare is almost more than we can afford
You and I Hoped for a quick short ride But we’re almost to the end of the line Then we’re out of time
You and me All the faces around we see All look doomed especially We fit right in eventually
Hold on Hold on The Strugglebus is coming And everybody’s gonna get on board Hooray Hooray The Strugglebus is stopping And the fare is almost more than we can afford
Hooray Hooray The Strugglebus is coming Aaaah
If you walk on the moon in the mountains And you gaze up into the sky You might see my scary bloodshot eye Of course I’m evil Coz that’s my job I am the evil Evil Planet Blob
People keep talking about me They just can’t believe I’m for real It adds to my unique appeal Of course I’m evil Coz that’s my job I am the evil Evil Planet Blob
So I’m placing the Universe under Martial Law i’m the biggest tyrant that you ever saw I’ll be like Darth Vader in a movie I’ll send it up in flames if it behooves me
If you think that this world is garbage If you think it belongs in a bag Then the cosmos is just a drag Of course I’m evil Coz that’s my job I am the evil Evil Planet Blob
Evil
written and recorded at home by Tony Fitzgerald December 2020 © 2020 The Davis Baby Music (ASCAP)
You're as happy as a dazed refugee When the authorities announce Please feel free to have responsible fun In moderate amounts But you feel lucky to get home in one piece And you're hiding in your house Please feel free to have responsible fun In moderate amounts
Little victories are all we can hope for Little victories are all we got Little Victories mean a whole lot To this little man
But you have hands, the Devil's Workshop You have legs to dance and bounce Please feel free to have responsible fun In moderate amounts
Little victories they mean good times Little victories are what we want And even a small win is still a win To this little man Little victories are all we can hope for Little victories are all we got Little Victories mean a whole lot To this little man
So you steal a feel in the dark And you wonder if that counts Please feel free to have responsible fun In moderate amounts
Please feel free to have responsible fun In moderate amounts
================ written and recorded at home by Tony Fitzgerald in Nov- Dec 2020 © 2020 The Davis Baby Music (ASCAP)
Fitzgerald did this--> guitars, bass, keyboards, drum sounds and vocals
Sometimes in my mind Unwanted movie show I try not to buy a ticket but I go The Director's Cut is rough I just can't apologize enough I'm the most wooden actor that you know
And I'm the sorriest man Who ever lived in Apology Town Down on Forgive Me Avenue Please won't you come on down?
On my hands and knees That's where I will be found Pardon me that's me on the ground This house made of fear My basement's filled with tears I regret I just can't stick around
And I'm the sorriest man Who ever lived in Apology Town Down on Forgive Me Avenue Please won't you come on down? A broke-down dude can get A room in Apology Town If you've got the money They've got the hole in the ground
You can have a good time if you Come see me in Apology Town You can wear my hairshirt You can wear my thorn of crowns And I'm the sorriest man Who ever lived in Apology Town Down on Forgive Me Avenue Please won't you come on down?
written and recorded at home by Tony Fitzgerald © 2020 The Davis Baby Music (ASCAP)
And the planet would not wait And we woke up just a little bit too late And future generations Will piss on our graves Hooray Future generations But there was money to be made And politics to be played And future generations Will piss on our graves Hey Hey Future generations
And when we’re in the ground We’ll feel it raining down And our ghosts will make that wailing sound they do
And the West went up in flames So many hurricanes they ran out of names And future generations Will piss on our graves Okay Future generations We paid some experts on TV To shift the blame from you and me But future generations Will piss on our graves They’ll pay Future generations
We didn’t leave them much Just a world too hot to touch A hostile place to fight with such as this
And we can’t hide any more Our children’s children’s children they know the score And future generations Will piss on our graves Hooray Future generations Future generations Will piss on our graves Okay Future generations ================== Recorded at home Sept 2020 written by Tony Fitzgerald © 2020 The Davis Baby Music (ASCAP)
remixed for the hell of it in 2019. Play it LOUD
p © 2011, 2019 The Davis Baby Music (ASCAP)
For a very long time, I had been wanting to record a version of this classic by the talented Mr. H, because I really dig the song. But one thing after another came up and, well, I never had the chance to do so. A missed opportunity. Sad. However, if I were to cover a Hitchcock song, it would sound just like this.
Finally recorded at home May 2020.
Originally performed by Robyn Hitchcock Written by Robyn Hitchcock © 1984 Two Crabs Music
Howdy kids. Hope you are healthy, happy and doing well. Here, right on schedule, is the third installment of the Coronavirus Covers project. This is a weird batch of five... they're all over the place this time.
The next cache of five covers is scheduled to arrive on Friday, March 22, according to NASA scientists. Who really ought to know. ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ I was remixing this track when I got the sad news that Florian Schneider died. It was a weird feeling. Florian was one of the Greats of electronic German rock music and I've been a big Kraftwerk stan since I first heard the "Autobahn" LP. Liked it so much that I went and bought the first three Kraftwerk albums, which are now still some of my favorite records (also they're rare as hell nowadays). The great Kosmische music masters are all passing so often now... Better appreciate guys like Ralf Hütter, Michael Rother. Irmin Schmidt and Hans-Joachim Roedelius while you can!
So, this cover version is an attempt to similarly embody what would happen if the US ever decided to have an Autobahn. It would probably be a cement ribbon of auto carnage and road rage with the occasional random highway sniper thrown in for shits and giggles. I figure I nailed it.
Originally performed by Kraftwerk written by Ralf Hütter, Florian Schneider and Emil Schult ©1974 Kraftwerk ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ recorded at home 2013 remixed in May 2020
Howdy kids. Hope you are healthy, happy and doing well. Here, right on schedule, is the third installment of the Coronavirus Covers project. This is a weird batch of five... they're all over the place this time.
The next cache of five covers is scheduled to arrive on Friday, March 22, according to NASA scientists. Who really ought to know.
I just sat down and recorded this out of the blue in Summer 2005. I always loved this Nancy and Lee joint. Somehow the hot weather seeped into this cover version and it just brings me back to those times. Lee said the song is about LSD. And I believe him.
Originally performed by Nancy Sinatra written by Lee Hazlewood ©1966 Criterion Music Corp. (ASCAP)
recorded at home 2005 this is the original 2005 mix
The President says we have to disinfect our lungs, so snort up your favorite variety of Lysol and enjoy five more Jetwelder cover versions. Hope you're feeling real groovy right now.
The next batch of cover versions will appear here in two weeks (May 8 or thereabouts). Although nothing seems to be 100% dead certain these days...
recorded at home 2010, mostly on the ever-cheesy Yamaha PSR keyboard. Originally included on the BCB Neil Young tribute.
remixed and remastered April 2020
written by Neil Young © Cotillion Music Inc/ Ten East Music & Springalo Toones (BMI)
The President says we have to disinfect our lungs, so snort up your favorite variety of Lysol and enjoy five more Jetwelder cover versions. Hope you're feeling real groovy right now.
The next batch of cover versions will appear here in two weeks (May 8 or thereabouts). Although nothing seems to be 100% dead certain these days...
a really strange cover of an old favorite by the oft-brilliant, underrated psychedelic icons Plasticland.
Recorded at home April 2020
Written by Glenn Rehse © 1985 Refraction Music/Amgine Music administered by Bug Music (BMI)
The President says we have to disinfect our lungs, so snort up your favorite variety of Lysol and enjoy five more Jetwelder cover versions. Hope you're feeling real groovy right now.
The next batch of cover versions will appear here in two weeks (May 8 or thereabouts). Although nothing seems to be 100% dead certain these days...
recorded at home in 2008 for the BCB Led Zeppelin tribute. Newly remixed about three days ago.
Written by Page/ Jones/ Bonham © 1968 Superhype Publishing/ WB Music Corp (ASCAP)
The world is on sick leave and may end by next Thursday. So we're gonna do 25 covers, five batches of five tracks, presented every two weeks. Usually on Friday.
Don't worry. Soon everything will be back to norbal.
"The Sailing Ship" was originally recorded by The Cryan' Shames on their 1967 LP "A Scratch In The Sky". Written by J. Fairs and L.Kerley © 1967 Destination Music (BMI)
The world is on sick leave and may end by next Thursday. So we're gonna do 25 covers, five batches of five tracks, presented every two weeks. Usually on Friday.
Don't worry. Soon everything will be back to norbal. ++++++++++++++++++++ Written by David Bowie © 1977 Tintoretto Music (BMI)
The world is on sick leave and may end by next Thursday. So we're gonna do 25 covers, five batches of five tracks, presented every two weeks. Usually on Friday.
Don't worry. Soon everything will be back to norbal.
Written by Walter Egan © 1978 Melody Deluxe Music/ Swell Sounds Music/ Seldack Music Corp (ASCAP)
The world is on sick leave and may end by next Thursday. So we're gonna do 25 covers, five batches of five tracks, presented every two weeks. Usually on Friday.
Don't worry. Soon everything will be back to norbal.
Written by Lou Reed © 1966 Oakfield Avenue Music Ltd (BMI)
The world is on sick leave and may end by next Thursday. So we're gonna do 25 covers, five batches of five tracks, presented every two weeks.
Don't worry. Soon everything will be back to norbal. <<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<< Written by Bob Dylan © 1967 Bob Dylan Music/ Big Sky Music/ Dwarf Music (BMI)
Hey Hey it's a pity party Everybody's feeling mighty sorry for me
Everybody's standing around they're stone-faced eating cake I should try to calm them all down cos there's been some mistake And if some blowdried reporter ace Shoves his microphone right in my face I'll say go on home you've got lives of your own And I don't need this pity party
Hey Hey it's a pity party Everybody's feeling mighty sorry for me
Several old acquaintances with tears filling their eyes Ask me what I've done for them lately I'm somehow not surprised That a small army of undertakers Is checking out my size They've dug a big hole but I'm not ready to go And I don't need this pity party
Hey Hey it's a pity party Everybody's feeling mighty sorry for me
And the only thing that I can say I hope to be well enough to work in an office someday
Your sorrow gets me nowhere your pity is a waste I'm full of dust and old guitars and should have been exploded in space And no one here should be surprised When I disappear before your eyes So go on home and leave me alone I don't need this pity party I don't wanna leave you feeling sorry Mighty sorry
Hey Hey it's a pity party Everybody's feeling mighty sorry for me
Mighty sorry for me
a brand new version of an old Jetwelder "favorite" recorded at home March 2020 © 1997, 2004, 2020 The Davis Baby Music (ASCAP)
You can tell by the way I walk Glancing side to side I'm the kind of guy With a hobby he hides Wasting time so many years Hanging at the mall Waiting for soft dolls And animals
Soft dolls and animals
When you tear off dolly's head The inside smells like glue Not the first time it's true That I said that to you I'm not alone there's millions more And I know them all Into soft dolls And animals
Soft dolls and animals
=================
recorded at home by Tony Fitzgerald February-March 2020 © 2001, 2020 The Davis Baby Music (ASCAP)
You are free to go... Free to go
Stupid stupid stupid stupid antichrist You can't even end this world right
When your father looks up from Hell below Sees his plan's not going well oh no He's got his popcorn out and he's good to go The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse They're so damn bored they're about to flip At Applebee's eating queso dip
Stupid stupid stupid stupid antichrist You can't even end this world right
He wastes his time and his plans are vague Might get it together to start a locust plague He's the red-haired son of a Minute Maid He's a chaos clown having lots of fun Punching the Judy out of everyone He's a boxing nun authoritarian
Stupid stupid stupid stupid antichrist You can't even end this world right
And let us give thanks To our Lord mighty God That the antichrist Is kind of crap at his job
Stupid stupid stupid stupid antichrist You can't even end this world right
You are free to go... Free to go
recorded at home January 2020 by Tony Fitzgerald © 2020 The Davis Baby Music (ASCAP)
When I think about the wonderous days to come And a better world for everyone I get hosed I get hosed Hosed by the future When I think of all the progress that we made And there's no need to be afraid I get hosed I get hosed Hosed by the future
On the wrong side of history again On the wrong side along with all my friends And no one wants to crawl Through someone else's Golden Age And no one wants to die On the next to the last page
When I'm sure that goodness shall prevail And the fascist thugs will surely fail I get hosed I get hosed Hosed by the future When I think the greedy turds will pay the price And everything is going to be nice I get hosed I get hosed Hosed by the future
On the wrong side of history again On the wrong side along with all my friends And no one wants to crawl Through someone else's Golden Age And no one wants to die On the next to the last page
Buggy whips and DAT And Betamax and me New Coke and Van Halen III And tulip bulbs and me
When I think about the hearts of average folks That they might rise up and end this joke I get hosed I get hosed Hosed by the future When I do it for the sake of Future Days And consciousness might be raised I get hosed I get hosed Hosed by the future ________________________________ recorded at home by Tony Fitzgerald January 2020 © 2020 The Davis Baby Music (ASCAP)
So we need another song For our 914th album And it can't sound dumb And it can't be harmless pablum Harmless pablum Oh Yeah So we need a song ASAP It can't be a piece of crap And we need ideas right now Holy cow!
And our competitors are Amniotic cloned popstars They coded their coordinates In the algorithmic braincar The algorithmic braincar Oh No And we need a song to fill Your heart with empathetic thrills And we also need a sandwich It's a bitch!
And here is a message from the day after tomorrow "Please turn back Please turn back Oh for God's sake please turn back" And it isn't wise to approach the future You'll end up with bruises and a suture
And we need another song And I'm climbing up the walls Maybe we wrote enough songs All in all All in all Ohhh
And it needs to be a smash Not another chunk of trash And it needs to be a hit Holy shit!
And here is a message from the day after tomorrow "Please turn back Please turn back Oh for God's sake please turn back" And don't ever think you'll ever troll tomorrow It'll leave you with sadness pain and sorrow
And here is a message from the day after tomorrow "Please turn back Please turn back Oh for God's sake please turn back" And danger is the nature of the future You can leave before it tries to boot ya
Recorded at home September 2019 by Tony Fitzgerald
© 2019 The Davis Baby Music (ASCAP)
Idea ripped off from my old comrades in The 914, Justin Kollar and Corey MacKinnon. Good on ya, gentlemen!
From the upcoming double LP "Mandatory Soul Time".
People ask what's wrong and I say I'm alright I'm okay Even though I don't know If I'll live through this day
Who do I think I'm fooling I wish I knew Who do I think I'm fooling I think I'm not fooling you
People stop by they pass the time I say that I'm doing fine Even though I know I'm losing the rest of my mind
Who do I think I'm fooling Everyone I know Who do I think I'm fooling I'm fooling myself that it's so
I guess I'm just a fraud Just a pleasant vapor mirage An entertaining story For my small entourage
Who do I think I'm fooling Not you I see Who do I think I'm fooling Not he, not she, just me
written and recorded 11/17 at home by Tony Fitzgerald c 2017 The Davis Baby Music (ASCAP)
Here's another old track from the previous economic meltdown in 2008. It's newly remixed for the next economic meltdown, which is probably coming damn soon, considering how many greed-crazed yahoos will have their invisible hands on all the phantom levers. It's coming to a neighborhood near you.
Newly remixed for your debate-watching pleasure.
Maybe from the upcoming LP Reality Debunked.
Be glad, for this is a joyous noise
Sometime you're gonna have to poop at work The longer you wait, the more you make it worse Poop at work, you poop at work You can help smash the state And make your boss irate
Now that you're okay with pooping at work Let's do a little math and see just what that turd is worth Poop at work, you poop at work Divide your hourly wage By your time Backstage
Sometimes you know you really just can't wait You're carrying a great big load of freight You'll strike a blow to the Fascist State insert Math Rock section here
So take a break you Capitalist tool And tell them all you gotta drop the kids off at the pool Poop at work, you poop at work Now it's time to release Your new masterpiece Hey man burn down The Machine But keep the restroom clean Poop at work, you poop at work
New. Recorded 9/16. At home.