The Dryline Farmer Podcast: Recent Episodes
The Dryline Farmer Podcaster
An insider's take, ridiculous or otherwise, on country life, farming, ranching and society in general. This podcast hopes to bring self awareness not only to it's audience, but to the host himself.
Part two of our, uh, two part series with Brian Jensen, "The Voice of Texas Tech Football". Brian throws in a story about swimming to Alcatraz and the legend of John Hinkley.
You've heard him for 23 years as the "Voice of Texas Tech Football", now hear him like never before as Brian Jensen joins Brent and Landon to talk everything from Texas Tech to swimming at Alcatraz.
"The Voice of Texas Tech Football" Brian Jensen joins Brent and Landon this week to talk about everything Texas Tech Football. Well, that and a swim to Alcatraz. Coming out this week!
"The Voice of Texas Tech Football" Brian Jensen joins Brent and Landon this week to talk about everything Texas Tech Football. Well, that and a swim to Alcatraz. Coming out this week!
OMG we talk farming? Yeah we actually do this week. Marketing, weather, and most of all, bitching farmers. Just to keep it real.
Brent and Landon break down their five favorite Seinfeld episodes. Not that there's anything wrong with that.
Our favorites stories of weird stuff please steal. And later, what was caught on camera at the Amarillo Zoo? A Werewolf? A Beaver? Cue the Beavis and Butthead laughs.
A new cancer treatment has a 100% success rate, so we wondered, how would society act in a cancer free world?
In honor of the new Top Gun sequel, Brent and Landon look back on a movie that changed lives. And killed a goose.
A Briton fellow loses his thing, then the doctors grow a new thing on his arm. May want to send the kids out for this one.
Ramblings of poker and weed make the rounds through the podcast this week. We "suck" at both?
The Moving Iron Podcast guys join us to talk Ukraine, a little Oscars, and how weak we are in our triggers.
The state of Wyoming has come up their own smartphone app to help out with all your roadkill needs. Because you know, a guy's gotta eat.
Brent rambles on about the ablation performed on his crappy heart. And, can farmers ever just be happy???
We cover it all from The National Corn Growers Contest, Bob Saget, German Veterans Day and more! (We're really versatile)
The Biden administration has finally released its crackpipe relief program: "No Crackhead Left Behind"
The new infrastructure bill will require all new vehicles to have anti-drunk driving monitoring equipment in your car! Cheers!
A Milkman fathers 800 kids and his child support is absolutely killing him, Also a mom unknowingly hauls her son's pot brownies to the senior center. That's awesome.
This week, Brent and Landon delve into the murder machine that is the Disney Corporation. They have single handedly killed off more cartoons than Doc Brown in Who Framed Roger Rabbit.
We are back in full force and almost exclusively talk about everything except Christmas. Casey Seymour and Aaron Fintel join Brent and Landon to talk Casey running laps at the local graveyard, 90's fashions, and Brent's "elliptical".
Brent delves into his new favorite show What We Do In The Shadows. And later he talks the infamous Slim Jim caper.
The annual tradition of pardoning the Thanksgiving turkeys takes place yet again and we have the trial of the century that got them off the hook! Or chopping block, however you want to look at it.
Here's a little preview of an upcoming episode where we dig into the different things you can learn from YouTube. (I haven't told Landon yet)
A school board tells the parents to stay the hell out of their kids' educations and the parents couldn't agree more.
Brent talks with former CIA intelligence turned author Taylor Moore about his debut Texas Panhandle action-thriller "Down Range". Yes, this is real.
Today's culture calls for political correctness in its news and entertainment outlets. Obviously we don't do that, so here's how we would promote movies if we were in charge.
Everyone seems to have their own service dog whether they really need one or not. We feel these dogs are actually needed.
Brent and Landon count down, kind of, some of the greatest fights in sports history. Surprisingly, Landon was only involved in a couple of them.
The podcast catches wind of a car and freezer dealership offering virtual test drives for all of their used inventory. We, of course, have the exclusive advertisement that "Bob's Used Cars and Freezers" put out this past week.
What if we just showed up to the Olympics and said, "We can do that."? How would that work out?
This week on the "Dr" Bill Slozenger Show, a caller has questions about his upcoming divorce with serious financial implications.
The podcast ran across a Senior Citizens "Lunch With Benefits" fundraiser and we just couldn't help ourselves.
We found 10 people to give a testimonial on the interesting reactions they got from the COVID vaccine. Brought to you by Tommy Dee's Nutz and Screwz.
Yet another undercover tape revealed. This time from a sketchy FFA chapter in the North East.
An anonymous caller gets on "The Danny Dollar Show" and has a very concerning financial dilemma.
Our first episode of the Short Bus Series involves the found footage of a no nonsense cattle judge giving his reasons at a summer jackpot show.
Sometimes you get mad enough to throw a small child through a window. Probably not a good a idea, but you can't say you haven't thought about it. Here's the things we would riot over.
Drive thrus, passing, road rage and all the other great experiences of life are discussed this week with our panel. It gets a little edgy so earmuffs for the kids.
We are excited to announce the discovery of newly found footage of the infamous Daughters of the Southern Revolution Thrift Store Fashion Show!!
Somehow Brent got asked to emcee a charity fashion show/auction. The "Daughters of the Southern Revolution" host their very first charity fashion show.
This week Brent and Landon take a psychic test and it goes pretty much as you'd expect.
Life is stranger than fiction as they say and that couldn't be more true than the current dumpster show our crap fire our globe is in right now. So we try to decipher which movie we are living in.
Bigfoot sightings amuse and astound the 15 people that have seen him. Or her. We really don't know.
There's just some things in life we wish we could do without. And here are those things.
Well, you know, the guys meant well, but ended up talking about their dreamy childhood years of the 80's. Video rental stores, radio station contests and console tv's. You know, important stuff. Then they get to the passing Winter Storm Uri.
A Texas Panhandle police chief gets himself caught up in a Lifetime Movie worthy performance of infidelity and fraud. Also, mullets and cold weather. It's a dream of an episode.
If we had our way, you would no longer be able to make big orders in the drive thru. This ain't Thanksgiving. Just one of our "Executive Orders".
President Trump handed out pardons this week as he left office, so the natural thing to do was for Brent and Landon to hand out their own "pardons".
Brent talks with Tom Tenseth. A hunter, truck hustler, Dairy Queen aficionado, and biker hooligan.
Brent visits with Tom Tenseth that lives somewhere in Texas. Check it out tomorrow on the Dryline Farmer Podcast!
Things really hit the fan today in DC. Civil war to unlikely, hopefully, but if it did take place would that finally get us back to $8.00 corn? Casey Seymour says "Corn in the teens".
Scientists "reanimate" a mummy's voice. Neehhhhh. Yeah, that's what it sounds like it. Nehhhh.
Check out tomorrow's episode as we discuss Breast Privilege. You know it's true. Also, scientists reproduced the voice of a 3000 year old mummy. Saw that in a movie once.
A famous televangelist has his very own "Inspiration Cube". We discuss that and all the products "You Might Also Be Interested In". And for all you sophisticated types: above ground pools.
Check us out tomorrow as we discuss throwing the bones for a prayer and the greatest prize of all: Above Ground Pools!!
We return with Jehovah's Witnesses and entries straight out of the Urban Dictionary. Listener discretion is not only encouraged, it's strongly recommended. We actually beg you to.
Just when you thought 2020 couldn't get any worse, what happens? We wake up from our Twinkie induced comas and return to your pathetic, worn out lives. And what better way than to return than with a good skimming of the Urban Dictionary!
There were certain things in the wild West you just couldn't unsee. And this episode you won't be able to unhear, so keep the kids away from the volume.
This week Brent and Ashtyn go over each state's "worst attraction". We skip over Texas, because, you know, Texas doesn't suck at anything.
This week the panel goes through a list that assigns each state their best quality and what they're know for. It's really not that impressive. And the first ever forecast from an unlikely source! Well, it's pretty likely actually.
We try to talk about a group of teachers protesting a return to school, but we become more interested in talking about our junior high showers and how each of us will die.
This week we discuss, among other things, a flock of teachers showing up to protest going back to school amid the covid "crisis". They bring fake gravestones and obituaries. Check it out tomorrow!
Brent gets into it with people on Facebook by defending the honor of the Rangers' new stadium. Landon mocks. And Ashtyn talks about Kanye.
If you light a fart on fire and it smelled like lemon, would anyone smell it? Yeah, that line makes as much sense as trying to get cows to toot less.
You can grow your own baby now without the icky job of carrying it around for nine months. Hey Ladies! We also cover a high speed chase once again occurring in Deaf Smith County!
Ashtyn joins us this week to talk Netflix and then somehow we devolve into marriage talk. Yeah, we were surprised too.
May God forgive us, we had the hosts of The No Sh#t Show on this week and the bleep button started to smoke. Regardless of what Conrad says, he's grumpy, and Michelle is really nice.
Ashtyn Carr, intern from the Global Ag Network joins us to help out getting our cult off the ground!
We dive back into our spam filters this week and also mock the metric system and their stupid increments of "10s".
We talk our first dances which occurred in the '90's at churches, so you can just imagine what that all leads to. And of course, more corona virus stuff. But it's funny because it's true.
Believe it or not, Brent believes in Jesus. So who better for Brent to interview than Rev. Kevin Bushart. A Methodist pastor whom the church just can't seem to get rid of.
Join Brent and Landon as they celebrate their 100th episode with an analysis of the YouTube love affair with Couples Court!
Everyone is sheltered in place so there is no reason why this Special 100th Episode shouldn't get any less than a million views! The Podcast will have a exciting insider's video look at the Tooth Fairy, Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny! Stay tuned for its release date!
This week in honor of Covid-19, which we talk nothing about, (we promise) we discuss which pandemic movies have any basis in reality or not.
An actual true story of some genius in Texas that dressed up as Santa Claus and tried to rob a bank in 1927. We know it's March so get off our butts about it.
We bring you a new segment called "Listen to the American Bitch!" And of course we have to talk the Corona Virus and how it affects OJ. We'll put an explicit rating on this one just to be safe.
Tillable and Ag Twitter went at it like Joaquin Phoenix and Russell Crow in Gladiator this past week. We act like the mindless peasants in the Coliseum cheering them on. Also: Dick Pound and Hot Pockets are in the news.
Ag Twitter exploded this week with the introduction of a new business called Tillable. The savagery was quite impressive. We will mock both sides. Check it out tomorrow!
Former mayor "num-nuts" Bloomberg has an interesting opinion on farmers and their Forest Gump level intelligence. And farmers don't think he talk too good. We talk slow in this episode.
Conrad knows how to have a good time. A really good time. Although it's not what you were thinking. Perv.
Arguing on Twitter can make your life worse. Well maybe not worse, but certainly not better. We list the things more productive than getting into a pissing match on Twitter. And we of course, have to talk about the $300,000 steer that blew up Twitter.
This week's podcast gets informative with the insanity of trying to argue about ANYTHING on Twitter. Also we discuss the $300,000 show steer that everyone is losing their mind over. Check it out tomorrow!
This week, we go fishing through our spam filters and see if we can find our important tax documents. Also, don't miss our sponsor this week, Dutch Oven Perfumes!
Don't think Conrad is a caring gentleman? He's not, but sometimes, you just never know.
Month by month, Brent, Landon and Casey offer their predictions on how certain big time events get affected by immature and demeaning people.
We start the show with football talk where Casey and Landon reveal their poor football picking skills. And later we finish up our awards show with some "best and worst of" awards!
And the categories are: Worst Year of the Decade, Person Who Was in the News But Shouldn't Have Been, D-Bag of the Decade and many more!!
This week, Brent interviews Jerry Donner, manager of the Scottsbluff Fertilizer COOP and they talk about farming and the Nutcracker. At least a little bit...
Apparently taping fruit to the wall is considered fine art now because a banana taped to a wall brought over $100,000 in Florida. And later, we go over just the headlines scrawled out across the Drudge Report. (We don't read the stories.)
The podcast has hit a new low, well at least we hope this is the lowest point. "Perineum Sunning" is apparently a thing now, and we're just the geniuses to talk about it. Also, Brent and Landon go on the crime beat.
Join Conrad for his first installment of "Conrad's Optimistic Blathering" or (C.O.B.) !!
Brent and Landon again have on Casey Seymour from the Moving Iron Podcast and this time they're talking movie sequels. Yeah, not a new subject, but we could really give a damn.
All those movies and TV shows we grew up with and loved would most likely be shunned or not even aired in 2019. We make a list.
Brent reveals his strategies of fighting identity theft. Landon and Casey find it amazing that he hasn't actually made it easier for identity thieves to steal his crap.
Ricardo and Diego are out again with another terrible attempt at music. They take on the sexy subject of MFP's. Betsy Jibben would be proud.
Ricardo and Diego visit Mel Gibson, Mike Tyson, Bill Cosby and OJ Simpson in "Celebrity Prison". Somehow they make it out alive. Also: Brent and Landon talk harvest, weather and The World Series.
Ricardo and Diego have returned from The State Fair of Texas and decided they are now song writers. May God have mercy on all of us.
We talk about The Great Bingo Caper of 2019 and we DON'T talk about how STD's have "snuck up" on Americans. But in the first segment Brent covers his trip to Vernon, TX. He thinks he's Chris Columbus.
Chicago has money problems. But who doesn't? Well they're trying to balance the budget on the back of The Magic School Bus and little Johnny and Susie who rented it out 10 years ago. Also, we talk the one game Wild Card MLB format.
Landon calls in to help Brent delegitimize a poor, defenseless teenager bemoaning to a bunch of elites at the United Nations about climate change.
It's Tri-State Fair time in the Texas Panhandle! We talk turkey, well, actually we talk chicken. Namely the chicken show. We're pretty sure these birds are from another planet from another time. And later, Landon goes on about his neighbor going "number one" for the whole world to see.
Casey Seymour is back on to fill in for Landon (TWSS) and joins Brent to reflect on 9/11 and then discuss something far less serious. Cannibalism. Some D-Bag "scientist" thinks we may need to turn to this great diet to combat climate change.
Yet again we try to do something nice, and give our opinions on an interesting topic like song remakes, but no, we have to interject opinions on stuff like subway sandwiches and how to pronounce a certain AgTwitter peep's name.
We realize that some days everything just goes to hell in a grain cart. That's why you need us. The Dryline Farmer Podcast. We're a therapist, drug dealer and bad influence all wrapped up in a weekly dose of entertainment to get your mind off of anything remotely important. Because what we talk about, it just isn't important.
From Total Recall to IT to True Grit, we talk the good, the bad and the ugly of movie remakes. See what we did there?
Check us out this week as we talk movie and song remakes because, really, who wants to talk about crappy corn markets anyways?