How to Raise Grownups: Recent Episodes
Lynnette and Greg Sheppard
Lynnette and Greg Sheppard believe in raising grownups, not children. This husband and wife pair have spent the past 20 + years in the trenches of raising five very different children, most of whom have insanely strong wills. In the process, they have learned a few things about responsible, respectful, resilient, self-disciplined, independent, faithful young adults who are prepared to meet the challenges of life. They want to share their knowledge and experience with you.
Listen in each week for an animated and thought-provoking discussion about raising kids who can stand on their own two feet. You will walk away with both strategies and inspiration to help you strengthen your family and set your kids up for success.
(And, in case you were wondering, Lynnette is a Certified Leadership Parenting Coach and Greg is a pediatric dentist who works with all sorts of kids and their parents.)
When I was a teenager, I lost myself trying to be who I thought everyone else wanted me to be. It has taken me years and lots of hard work to find myself again.
If there is anything we can do, as parents, to keep our kids from losing touch with who they are and living confidently in their skin, let's do it!
What can we do? Listen in for a few tips.
Download your free guide: 40 Things Every Teen Needs to Know
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We have all been in situations where the parenting decision that feels right is also inconvenient. It might throw off our day. Or week. It might require putting plans on hold or changing them altogether.
Instead of getting frustrated, let's play the long game. It is all about perspective.
Listen in for all the details.
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As humans, it is instinctual for us to hold on tight when we feel like we are losing something. That instinct kicks into high gear during the teenage years because we feel like we are losing our kids. And, in a way, we are.
But, by holding on too tight, we fail to give our kids permission to fly into the lives they were born to live.
How do we let go? Listen in for all the details.
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As we try to teach our kids that sometimes, they must do things they don't want to do, let me ask you this question:
Are you willing to win the battle while losing the war?
Which battles are worth fighting with our kids? The ones that will help us win the war.
Listen in for all the details.
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We all want our kids to be happy and successful. This month, we are broadening our definition of success, but what about happiness? Is our kids' happiness our responsibility?
In this episode, we explore that question.
Download my free guide: 40 Skills Every Teen Needs to Know
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If I have learned anything over the past year, it is that finding peace and hope amidst turmoil and uncertainty is possible.
Is it easy? Nope.
But it is possible.
In this short episode, I will teach you a quick tip to help you see challenges in a positive way.
To dive deeper, download the free guide: 40 Things Every Teen Needs to Know
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In Silicon Valley, the unofficial motto is "Fail fast, fail often, fail forward."
The tech giants embrace failure because it can be the best teacher. But how do we adopt that mindset and help our kids do the same?
Listen in for five actionable tips.
To dive deeper, download the free guide: 40 Things Every Teen Needs to Know
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We are leaving behind a rough year. Perhaps, you are looking back and wondering what you even accomplished. Maybe success feels elusive because mere survival felt like a feat.
Parenting is sometimes hard that way.
But what does parenting success even look like?
Is it kids who never fight or argue?
Is it kids who get accepted into top-tier universities?
Is it kids who become CEOs of prestigious companies?
Or is it something entirely different?
In this episode, we explore parenting from an angle that will help you feel like a complete success.
Download the free guide: 40 Skills Every Teen Needs to Know
If you are enjoying the podcast, please consider subscribing or reviewing it on Apple Podcasts or wherever you listen to your podcasts. Those reviews help others to find us. And, as always, feel free to share it with your friends.
If I have learned anything this year, it is that the future is uncertain, and there is so much I cannot control.
But how do we, as parents, prepare our kids to face an unknown future with confidence? How do we help them move forward with faith in themselves, come what may?
I am diving into that topic today. I will teach you four ways you can help your kids develop more confidence, complete with actionable tips you can implement today.
**Parenting Launch Lab, my membership community/subscription box combo is now OPEN for enrollment until December 9 at noon MST.
This program was designed for parents of kids ages 8-18 and will make it EASY to teach your kids the skills and values they will need to thrive beyond high school.
Each month for 12 months, we will dive deep into a different core skill or value. With a library of digital resources, including training videos, audio files, printable guides, a done-for-you plan with weekly benchmarks, and a progress tracker, I will train YOU in simple and effective parenting MINDSETS and METHODS that will help you teach your TEENS the value or skill of the month.
I will also send your KIDS a box filled with products that will help them APPLY and GET EXCITED ABOUT each monthly skill.
NO OVERWHELM! (ALL the resources at your fingertips! Small and simple steps will make a MASSIVE difference over time.)
FITS INTO A BUSY SCHEDULE!! (You only need a few minutes per day)
NO WORRY!! (Your kids WILL gain skills and confidence to help them FLY)
SUPPORT!! (A community of like-minded parents and monthly live Q&A with me)
At the end of ONE year, your tweens and teens will have a STRONG foundation in SKILLS and VALUES that will support them for a lifetime.
Learn more and sign up here.
Where is this podcast headed? The short answer: I'm not sure.
Here's what you need to know:
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I LOVE variety and change.
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I get bored and restless with routine and predictability.
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When I get bored and restless, I NEED to make changes, lest I abandon the project.
Listen in to hear what that means for the podcast.
Join the waitlist for my upcoming subscription box launch
I was almost 40 when I learned to ski. I use the word "learned" loosely because I still struggle to slow down, turn, or stop when on the slopes. I know one speed, and that is "GET OUT OF MY WAY BECAUSE I DON'T KNOW HOW TO SLOW DOWN!!"
It makes skiing interesting and a bit terrifying.
But, in parenting, speed is not the goal. We are in it for the long haul. It is a marathon, not a sprint, where steadiness will keep us on track.
The small things? They matter in parenting.
Slow and steady wins the race. Listen in as we unpack what that means.
Are you working to raise competent and confident teens? Download my free guide: Teach Your Teens to Fly: 40 Things Every Teenager Needs to Know.
Looking for a ridiculously easy solution to help you raise independent kids? Something big is coming! Join the waitlist today.
Find show notes here.
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When I was a child, my mom always told me that I had to learn things the hard way. That was partly because I hadn't learned to take the advice of others who were further along the path than I. Instead, I had to try it for myself.
I have since become a little wiser. I try to learn as much as I can from others who have walked paths similar to mine.
Today, Greg and I are sharing three things we learned the hard way, including:
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Sometimes, it is OK to go to bed angry.
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It’s not a good idea to tie spirituality to external rewards/punishments.
3 Kids will do what you do before they do what you say.
We are keepin' it real today, friends. Let's get to it!
View show notes here
Download the guide: 40 Things Every Teenager Needs to Know
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The world is a crazy place these days. Sometimes, I wonder how I will succeed in raising righteous children when darkness seems to be multiplying by the second.
Amidst the growing tide of evil, however, Heavenly Father has provided us with instructions on how to navigate the landmines of our day. As we read and apply the scriptures and counsel of modern prophets, we will be safe.
But what instruction have we received?
We dive into that question in this episode.
Download your FREE guide: Teach Your Teen to Fly - 40 Things Every Teenager Needs to Know
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Everybody makes mistakes, including children. But sometimes, we, as parents, overreact to our kids' mistakes. We make their failures into huge obstacles instead of allowing them to be learning experiences.
When we blow mistakes out of proportion, we run the risk of damaging our relationship with our kids. When that happens, they may not feel comfortable coming to us when they make (sometimes big) mistakes.
Tune in to learn how to make your home a safe place to fall - a place where you encourage your kids to learn from and overcome their mistakes.
Download your FREE guide: Teach Your Teen to Fly - 40 Things Every Teenager Needs to Know
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Find show notes here
I am a big believer in teaching kids to be independent, but I haven’t always been that way. I am, in fact, a recovering control freak.
When my kids were young, I didn’t want to give them too much responsibility because I could do all the jobs better than they could. Not only that, but they were messy creatures. While they were learning to do things for themselves, disorder and chaos was the name of the game. But their messes turned me into a crazy woman, which was not a positive experience for anybody involved.
I have come a long way since then. I have learned that parental control is the enemy of budding childhood independence. Not only that, but control is an illusion. It's not reality.
Today, I want to help you tame your inner control freak with five simple strategies. They just might change your life (and your kids' lives).
Curious how prepared your teen is for the launch? Download your FREE guide and assessment today. It will help you determine where you are and what to do next on your journey to raise a confident and competent young adult.
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A few months ago, I set out to create an online course to help parents raise competent and confident kids. I outlined the modules. I started to work through the content. But it was not flowing. I hit a wall. Something felt off, though I could not put my finger on what was wrong.
Over the past few weeks, I have been asking myself a million questions about how to proceed. My journey has led me to a place I never anticipated. I am getting ready to launch a program that I had never even considered until two weeks ago. I believe it will be WAY more helpful for busy parents than an online course.
Want to know the plan? I don't have all the details figured out quite yet, but I pulling back the curtain and revealing what I do know. As my loyal podcast listeners, you are the first to hear the specifics of what I plan to offer, how it will help you, and how you can get in on the ground level for the lowest price I will ever offer.
Stay in the loop by joining the waitlist here.
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The past two weeks have been a whirlwind of changes and emotions surrounding school. The Back-to-School experience has been anything but normal, resulting in a myriad of stress for my kids and, by extension, myself.
We are one-week into the new school year with a senior, a sophomore, and a seventh-grader, all doing online school: Zoom style. They will be unable to get back to the classroom until at least October. They are chomping at the bit. They are missing their friends. They are grieving what could have been.
In this episode, we are spilling the beans about our experience, complete with three solid takeaways that will (hopefully) help you to walk a smoother road than we have.
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Do you want to raise confident, well-prepared kids but don't have a ton of time? If so, help is on the way. I will take all the guesswork out of the process, providing you with ongoing support and a myriad of resources to help you in your quest. This baby will be launching soon. Click here to sign up for the waitlist so you don't miss it!
Since we are smack in the middle of July and many people are traveling and enjoying summer with their families, we are going to something a little bit different. Today, we are republishing Episode 5 of the podcast, which is our most popular episode to date. If you haven't listened to it yet, today is your lucky day! If you have listened, this is a topic that could always use a good refresher.
This episode stems from a listener question: “What should I do when my child doesn’t listen – flat out ignoring me until I yell or do something physical to get their attention? I ask calmly and quietly and kindly and after the 3rdtime, I may need to make eye contact, but even when they acknowledge that I asked something (OK, Mom) they don’t do it.”
In this episode, we answer that question by first laying a foundation. We talk about the importance of developing a leadership mindset in parenting, complete with suggestions on how to do that. We teach the specifics of authoritative communication, which is the magic sauce.
We also give specific examples of how to implement this framework. It will work for toddlers up to teens.
The approach we teach is not rocket science – it is common sense! Listen in!
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Uplevel your parenting in a hurry by downloading my free audio training.
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Join the waitlist for my upcoming online course: Aim for the Launch: A Practical Approach to Raising Competent and Confident Kids
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Life feels heavy lately. COVID-19 cases continue to rise. Political tensions are escalating in the US. Divisiveness and contention are everywhere. It feels like many of our freedoms are on shaky ground. Fear, anger, and intolerance for differing viewpoints are rampant.
Looking around at the dystopian world that has become our reality, I wonder If there is any rest for the weary. What will become of us? What will the world look like for our kids in the coming days? And how can we prepare them to greet it with faith and courage and strength?
Do our children know who they are and what they are here to do? Do they understand that they are courageous, determined, and strong? Do they realize that they are capable of being immovable in the face of growing darkness and fierce opposition? Do they know that standing up and standing out is what they were born to do?
Do they know?
It is HARD to teach those things when the winds of the world are reaching hurricane speeds. It is not easy or straightforward to convince our kids that they are more than meets the eye. More than the opinions of their peers. More than they can even imagine.
And yet, we must. They must catch the vision of who they are and what they are here to do. They must believe in their goodness, their strength, and their ability.
If you love the podcast, I think you will also love my upcoming online course. Learn more and join the waitlist here.
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It is no secret that parenting is hard work. It is a huge responsibility to take a helpless infant and prepare them to be a functioning member of society. But it does not need to be the hardest thing you have done or will ever do in your life. While there will be difficult stages and problems that catch you off-guard, the overall experience can be relatively relaxed and joyful.
What is the key to a relaxed child-rearing experience?
Boundaries.
Now, let me clarify. Setting boundaries is not easy. Enforcing them is even more difficult, especially when your kids push back (and they will!). But doing so will pave the way for calm seas ahead.
When parents say what they mean and mean what they say, remaining consistent and refusing to bend when their kids test their resolve, kids learn to live comfortably within that framework. They learn to respect boundaries. They learn the art of self-discipline and eventually, stop testing the waters.
At that point, the parents' job gets exponentially easier. They don't have to deal with the same problems over and over, day in and day out. Challenges will still arise because that is called life. But difficulties become a small part of the child-rearing experience rather than the substance of it.
Listen in for all the details.
Find show notes here.
If you enjoy the podcast, I think you will also enjoy my free audio training: 3 Parenting Mistakes You Can't Afford to Make (and What to do Instead). Uplevel your parenting in a hurry by signing up today.
Join the waitlist for my upcoming online course: Aim for the Launch: How to Turn Kids into Responsible Adults
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The scenario:
Your child misbehaves, causing you frustration, disappointment, and even embarrassment. How do you stay calm? That is what we are tackling today. We've got a formula to help, and it looks something like this:
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Check your mindset
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Think through your reaction in advance
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Don't take the behavior personally
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Don't dish out consequences in anger
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Treat mistakes as opportunities to learn
Find show notes here
If you enjoy the podcast, I think you will also enjoy my free audio training: 3 Parenting Mistakes You Can't Afford to Make (and What to do Instead). Uplevel your parenting in a hurry by signing up today.
Join the waitlist for my upcoming online course: Aim for the Launch: How to Turn Kids into Responsible Adults
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While we are conservative about many things, our curfew policy is fairly liberal. It allows our teenagers a great deal of freedom, but also requires a hefty dose of responsibility.
The liberal approach that we explain in this episode has worked like a charm in our home. It has taught our teens to set appropriate boundaries and then, to live within them.
Listen in for all the details.
If you love the podcast, I know you will love my FREE audio training series: 3 Parenting Mistakes You Can't Afford to Make (and What to Do Instead). It will help you uplevel your parenting in a hurry. Sign up here.
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About ten years ago, we decided to get rid of the video game system that our kids bought with their own money. It was one of the best decisions we have ever made, and we will never get another one.
Listen in to hear about the experiences that led to our controversial decision, the research to support it, and how video games are contributing to a generation of unmotivated kids (especially boys).
Sign up for my FREE three-part audio training: 3 Parenting Mistakes You Can't Afford to Make (and what to do instead)
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This podcast is all about preparing kids to become responsible adults. We talk about helping kids develop a variety of different skills that will make the transition to adulthood as smooth as possible.
Let's be honest: it takes years to prepare a child for the launch. It is not something that happens overnight or in the months leading up to high school graduation. And sometimes, parents lose sight of the forest over the trees. (I have been there!) It is easy to get caught up in the concerns of the moment and forget about the end goal: raising responsible adults.
But have no fear, my friend. That is where we come in to help. Today, we are sharing our very own VESL framework that will help you raise confident and competent children. It is a comprehensive training plan that focuses on teaching children values, emotional skills, social skills, and life skills. Armed with skills in all four areas, kids will be more likely to transition into adulthood with grace.
CHALLENGE OF THE WEEK:
Assess your child's overall preparedness based on the VESL framework. In which areas are they strong, and which areas need a bit more TLC? Set a reasonable training goal in each area (values, emotional skills, social skills, and life skills) and make a plan for how to reach it.
Click here to sign up for my FREE audio training: 3 Parenting Mistakes You Can't Afford to Make (and what to do instead)
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I remember running to answer the phone, practically tackling my siblings to get there first. Those days are long gone because most kids have their own phones. They don't make many calls with those phones, though. Most of their communication is through texting, social media, and video chats. Because of that, many young people have not learned the art of telephone etiquette. Or, in other words, they are not skilled at answering calls, carrying on conversations on the phone, or taking proper telephone messages.
In this episode, we tell a hilarious story about one of our kids whose lack of phone manners got our family into a highly embarrassing situation.
We also dive into the ins and outs of telephone etiquette, why it is a vital skill, and how to teach it to kids.
CHALLENGE OF THE WEEK:
For younger kids: Help your child memorize your phone number and practice calling it. Then, call them and have them practice answering.
For older kids/teens: Have your child call a place of business and ask a question using the principles we discuss in this episode.
Find show notes here
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Click here to sign up for my FREE audio training: 3 Parenting Mistakes You Can't Afford to Make (and what to do instead)
Every parent's worst nightmare is for their child to get abducted. With the instant availability of news (especially bad news), it sometimes feels like it is only a matter of time before something awful happens to our kids.
I understand that there are bad people in the world who do horrible things to children. I am not downplaying that in any way, and we do need to teach our kids to be cautious.
The reality is, however, that strangers abduct only .01% of all missing children. The other 99.99% of kids reported missing have been taken by family members, run away, discarded (meaning their families did not want them), or reported missing by error. (“Chapter 1.” How to Raise an Adult: Break Free of the Overparenting Trap and Prepare Your Kid for Success, by Julie Lythcott-Haims, St. Martin's Griffin, 2016, pp. 14–15.)
A vast majority of strangers are good people. Teaching our kids that they should never talk to strangers is denying them the needed opportunity to learn vital communication skills. Listen in for all the details.
CHALLENGE OF THE WEEK
For young kids: Take your child out to eat and let them order their own food without your help.
For older kids and teens: Invite an adult who may be unfamiliar to your child over to you home and encourage your child to lead the conversation.
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Thank you for your ratings and reviews! If you find this podcast helpful, please keep them coming!
The three most sought-after skills for 9 out of 10 jobs are:
- Critical thinking
- Complex problem solving
- Judgment and decision making
However, the world we live in erodes our problem-solving abilities. We consume a massive amount of surface-level information, but often fail to process. We go wide but not deep.
So how do we raise problem solvers?
Listen in for a few practical suggestions.
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Thank you for the ratings and reviews! Please keep them coming!
Julie Lythcott-Haimes, former freshman dean at Standford University, noted in a 2016 TED talk that "professional success in life, which is what we want for our kids...comes from having done chores as a kid."
But, man alive, it is not easy to get kids involved in household work! It is one million times easier for parents to do the work themselves, especially when the kids are young and inexperienced.
If you, like me, sometimes struggle to get your kids involved in chores, you are in the right place. This short and power-packed episode dives into the why, what, and how of chores. It also provides simple and practical suggestions for how to handle pushback or failure to follow through on tasks.
Weekly Challenge:
Teach your child one new skill and make it their chore for this month or this week.
To make it easier, download a free guide that will help you determine what skills you can reasonably teach at what ages.
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And THANK YOU for your ratings and reviews! Please keep them coming.
For a child to be prepared to leave home at age 18 confidently, they must master a variety of skills. As a parent, it can be overwhelming to think of all the things you must teach your kids in the years leading up to the launch.
Over the next several weeks, we will be teaching you simple and practical ways to arm your kids with essential life skills and faith skills. In each short episode, we will tackle one skill and leave you with an actionable challenge to help you implement it in your family.
This week, we are laying the groundwork by giving you a simple formula that will help you teach your child just about any skill:
Tell - Show - Do
Listen in to learn how it works.
Weekly Challenge:
Make a list of skills your child will need to master before age 18 and highlight the ones that are most pressing. We will use this list as a foundation as we build upon existing skills.
To make it even easier, we have compiled a list of skills and when it makes sense to teach them (between the ages of three and eighteen) into a free printable. You can grab your copy here.
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How do we raise resilient children who believe they can do hard things? What characteristics do parents of gritty kids have in common? What do Steve Young, Latter-day Saint missionaries, and 50-mile hikes teach us about raising overcomers?
This episode is packed full of real-life stories and useful information for parents who are striving to teach their kids how to rise above challenging circumstances.
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What should you do when your teen decides to disregard what you have taught them and wander down uncertain and possibly dangerous paths? That is one question most parents hope they never have to answer.
Today's guest, Mindy Meyersick, came face to face with a harsh and unexpected reality when her 14-year-old son was caught smoking marijuana behind the seminary building. That discovery led to years of challenges with that son and another who followed closely in his footsteps.
In this episode, Mindy tells her story of heartache - a journey that taught her what unconditional love for herself and her children looks like in action. It is a story of perceived failure and ultimate triumph. It is a story of drawing upon faith while in the depths of sorrow. It is a story of how love wins - one that every parent needs to hear.
Whether you are currently struggling with wayward teens (or young adults) or not, you will gain an invaluable perspective by listening to Mindy's vulnerable journey. It provides evidence that we are not alone in our struggles. But, in addition, it illustrates that casting judgment on parents whose kids choose to wander is never helpful. Love is always a better choice.
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With the COVID-19 pandemic taking the world by storm and disrupting many aspects of our lives, dental care has become tricky. Most, if not all, dentists throughout the country (and world) have been forced to shut their doors due to supply shortages and government mandates. In most cases, they are authorized to treat dental emergencies, but other procedures have been temporarily suspended.
So what does that mean for parents and their kids? Our resident pediatric dentist, Dr. Gregory Sheppard, is here today to answer that question and many others like it.
WHAT YOU WILL LEARN: * What the Center for Disease Control, the American Dental Association, and the American Academy of Pediatric Dentistry has recommended for dental care in the midst of COVID-19 * Why most dentists have temporarily closed their practices * What to do if your dentist is closed and your child is experiencing tooth pain * How to determine if the symptoms your child is experiencing constitute a dental emergency * What to look for to determine if your child has an abscessed, (or infected) tooth, and why it is vital to get treatment immediately if an infection is present * What to do if your child knocks out a tooth (during a pandemic or any other time), and how long you have to save the tooth under such circumstances * What your dentist REALLY wants you to understand right now
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With the cloud of uncertainty surrounding COVID-19, many of us may be feeling a little (or a lot) overwhelmed. We have been thrown into a homeschool environment for which we were not prepared. We are isolated from other people. Many of us are facing economic threats. Significant events and vacations have been canceled or postponed indefinitely. And, on top of all of that, we are dealing with feelings of anxiety, grief, or disappointment while trying to help our kids work through their emotions.
Today, my guest, Ceri Payne, is teaching some skills and mindsets to help each of us stay grounded and productive amidst the growing tide of uncertainty and chaos. She is wise and experienced, and her words are reassuring and hopeful. She is a heaven-sent guest at this time.
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Connect with Ceri
- Instagram: @organizedlife.coach
- Facebook: Ceri Payne Coaching
- Website: www.organizedlife.coach
It has been one year since we launched the podcast. It has been a year of learning and growth and evolution. In that time, we have recorded 50 episodes and met some awesome people. Today, we are sharing some of our favorite clips from a year's worth of episodes. These short snippets will make you laugh, make you think, and help you to be better parents. We hope you enjoy them!
Clip one: Episode 2 - Courageous Parenting
Clip two: Episode 30 - Raising Indistractable Kids with Nir Eyal (my personal favorite!)
Clip three: Episode 10 - What Teens Wish Their Parents Understood, with Elise Sheppard
Clip four: Episode 31 - God's Parenting Blueprint
Clip five: Episode 5 - Help! My Kids Won't Listen (The most downloaded episode of the year!)
Also...we are doing a GIVEAWAY to celebrate our birthday! We will be giving away two boxes of goodies to two lucky winners:
The first box contains:
- The book, How to Raise an Adult, by Julie Lythcott-Haimes
- The game Cover Your Assets
- The game Telestrations
The second box contains:
- The book, The Parenting Breakthrough, by Merrilee Boyack
- The game Codenames
- Family Table Topics: Questions to Start Great Conversations
To be entered into a drawing to receive one of these boxes of family fun, leave us a 5-star review on iTunes. Then send a screenshot of your review to hello@lynnettesheppard.com OR send it as a DM on Instagram. If you have already left a review at some point during the year, that totally counts! Send me a screenshot of your review, and I will put your name in the drawing.
The deadline to enter is Monday, March 30, 2020. Winners will be announced on next week's episode of the podcast (March 31) and on Instagram. Let the fun begin!!
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This week has been straight crazy! Circumstances that we could not have foreseen a month ago have now become a reality: school and church closures, quarantines, empty shelves at the grocery store. Fear. Panic.
A week ago, I was wondering what all the COVID-19 hype was about. Now Greg cannot even get masks at his dental office because all the suppliers are out of stock. Unless some miracle happens, he will likely have to close his doors by week's end.
Reality is a beast these days.
In light of that, I recorded a message of hope and encouragement that was initially meant for the sisters in my ward. Given current circumstances, however, I wonder if others might benefit from it also.
Yes, we live in turbulent times, but all is not lost. God is at the helm and, through Him, we can find peace.
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Over the course of raising five very different children, we have explored several different educational options, including neighborhood public schools and a handful of charter schools. For many years, we chased after the best education, playing musical schools in search of the perfect fit. By the time our oldest child was in the seventh grade, he had attended six schools.
In the process of trying a variety of schools that offered different types and qualities of education, we have learned a thing or two that we are excited to share with you. Now that our oldest two kids have started college, we are seeing the results of their educational journies. If we had it to do over again, we might choose a slightly different path, but learning is always a winding road of self-discovery. Today, we are thrilled to share our hard-won experience and perspective with you.
WHAT YOU WILL LEARN: * Why we left the neighborhood elementary school in search of a different educational option * How we landed in the charter school system, and what we experienced at three different charter schools * What is was like to transition to the (massive) neighborhood high school after several years at a tiny charter school * Why we feel that the extracurricular options a school has are vital to the overall educational experience (especially in high school) * How we discovered that the grass is not always greener on the other side of the fence * Why we feel that education includes much more than academics alone * What led us to believe that AP classes are not always worth it * Each school comes with its tradeoffs (and some big ones we navigated) * Even the best schools have their issues * How we learned that there is no right or wrong way to educate your child
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As a child, teenager, and even a young adult, I did not have a firm grasp of my strengths. I felt like I did a lot of things OK, but nothing really well. When I got to college, I had a tough time figuring out what to study in part because I did not understand where I was strong. I mean, I knew to avoid any career that focused heavily on math. But other than that, I was pretty clueless.
Today's guest, Heather Glenn, specializes in helping teens and young adults discover their strengths and match them with their interests to find the perfect career. In this interview, she and I explore how we, as parents, can help our kids discover and nurture their strengths throughout their lives.
WHAT YOU WILL LEARN: * How developing an understanding of their strengths (and weaknesses) can help kids, teens, and young adults to live with more intention and joy * The relationship between strengths and weaknesses, and why weaknesses are not a bad thing * How to recognize and nurture your kids' strengths from a young age even (and especially) when their unrefined gifts might drive you crazy * How perfectionism gets in the way of this process, and a few things you can do to move beyond the need to be perfect * The difference between strengths and personality * The process to help teens prepare for college and career paths by factoring their natural gifts and weaknesses into the equation
Find show notes here: http://www.lynnettesheppard.com/47/
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CONNECT WITH HEATHER: * Visit her website: alignedambition.com * Learn about her strengths and career consulting services * Connect with her on Instagram
The past few weeks have been a bit of a whirlwind. We have been hit by some unexpected parenting challenges that have thrown us for a loop, and we are working to gain our equilibrium. While we certainly do not have everything figured out at this point, listen in to hear how our faith is keeping us grounded.
SCRIPTURES WE MENTION: * 2 Nephi 9:20: "O how great the holiness of our God! For he knoweth all things, and there is not anything save he knows it." * D&C 100:1: "...for in me is there all power." * D&C 101:16: "Therefore, let your hearts be comforted concerning Zion, for all flesh is in mine hands. Be still and know that I am God."
QUOTES:
When you come to the end of everything you know, and the next step is into the darkness of the great unknown, you must believe one of two things: either you will step onto firm ground, or you will be taught to fly.
Unknown
TO HELP THE PODCAST: If you are enjoying the podcast, please consider subscribing or reviewing it on iTunes or wherever you listen to your podcasts. Those reviews help others to find us. And, as always, feel free to share it with your friends. Word of mouth is the best marketing tool.
Find show notes here: http://www.lynnettesheppard.com/46/
When our son, Andrew, was halfway through his junior year of high school, he started to have thoughts of self-harm that caught him completely off-guard. After meeting with a counselor a short time later, he determined that the unwelcomed thoughts were a manifestation of anxiety.
In the years since then, Andrew has learned how to manage his anxiety in healthy ways. Today on the podcast, he is telling his story, what he has learned from it, and what he believes parents can do to support their kids through anxiety and depression. If you have a child or anyone else in your life who struggles with mental illness, you won't want to miss this.
Find show notes here: http://www.lynnettesheppard.com/45/
YOU MIGHT ALSO ENJOY: * Episode 10: What Teens Wish Their Parents Understood with Elise Sheppard * Episode 042: From Strong Will to Strong Leadership with Jordan Sheppard
For as long as I can remember, I have loved spending time in the kitchen. It is a form of therapy for me to chop vegetables and create delicious meals out of seemingly boring ingredients. But, even more than therapy, food is about connection, tradition, and creating memories.
Today I am excited to introduce you to my dear friend, Bobbi Wood. She and I go way back to the days when our husbands were in dental school/residency together. Today, they have practices right next door to each other, and Bobbi and I are practically sisters.
A few years ago, she and I decided to take a six-month-long French cooking class together. Every Friday, we would meet at the Park-n-Ride and carpool to Scottsdale to learn how to cook with loads of butter, cream, and wine. While neither of us cooks that way often, it was so much fun to learn the techniques together. After our experience, we almost started a food blog together, but it never quite came together. I am not ruling that out entirely, however! Perhaps, we have a future together in the food industry.
In this episode, we discuss all things food: how food has shaped our stories, our favorite family recipes, how we incorporate food into our family traditions, apps that keep us organized, must-have kitchen tools, go-to recipe sources for trying new things, and so much more.
Find Show Notes: http://www.lynnettesheppard.com/44/
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I am the mother of five kids whom I love. I love their friends. I believe in this strong and noble generation of youth. But, sometimes, my finite mind has difficulty grasping how God can have such faith and trust in young people when they have such limited understanding and experience.
The truth is, however, that He has always used the youth to accomplish His purposes. There are multiple examples of that throughout scripture and, in this episode, we lay them all on the table, along with some of our own experiences. We hope these inspirational stories will help you see the strength and potential of the rising generation.
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And please consider leaving a rating or review on iTunes if you find the show helpful. That helps others find what we have to offer. Thank you for listening!
You may have heard me talk about my insanely strong-willed eldest son and how he threw us for a loop as a child. You may have heard me describe how he spit in my face, threw books at my head, and tried to run away at age seven. In those early years, I honestly feared he would end up in prison.
Things have changed drastically since then. When Greg and I overhauled our parenting, we started to see some improvement in his behavior. And eventually, he grew into a top-notch young adult, bearing no hint of his former “my way or the highway” mentality.
Today is the day you have been waiting for, my friend because you get to hear from him. When he was home from college for Christmas break, he graciously agreed to allow us to interview him about his transition from a strong-willed child to a strong and caring leader. Nothing was scripted, and we had no idea what he was going to say, so that makes it even more interesting.
His transformation over the years has been nothing short of remarkable. I hope you will listen and gain some hope or perspective that might help you in your parenting journey.
Find show notes here: http://www.lynnettesheppard.com/42/
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There is no doubt that courageous parenting is required to raise children in this tricky age of technology. Should we give our kids smartphones, and at what age? How much should we monitor? How much should we filter? Which filter should we use?
One thing I have learned, however, is that external filters and monitoring software are fallible. The only filter that will last is an internal filter. Helping our children to develop the inner strength to self-monitor their time and whereabouts on technology is key.
That is the message that Dave and Emily Jones of Family Tech University want to scream from the rooftops. As deliberate parents of five children, they developed what they describe as a "Driver's Ed for Wholesome Tech Use" to teach their children to be wise with technology. It was so effective that they made it available as a workshop for other families.
This episode will help you come up with a plan to become a more courageous tech parent.
Find show notes here: http://www.lynnettesheppard.com/41/
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With a new year upon us, self-improvement is the word on the street. Resolutions and goals are all the rage and for good reason. A blank slate and a world of possibilities make big things feel doable. But if we are talking about making 2020 the best year yet, it makes sense to add a couple of parenting goals into the mix.
- WRITE A PARENTING MANIFESTO 2. DO LESS 3. DITCH PARENT GUILT 4. RAISE THE KIDS YOU HAVE (NOT THE ONES YOU WISH YOU HAD) 5. PRAY MORE Ready to learn more? Let's do this!
For show notes, visit http://www.lynnettesheppard.com/40/
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Welcome to Season 2 of the newly-rebranded How to Raise Grownups Podcast. In this episode, we talk about the spiritual experience that prompted the rebrand and what you can expect from here us in the coming months.
We believe in the youth of today - in our kids and your kids. We believe they were born to accomplish incredible things for the Lord and the world. And we believe that it is our job as their parents to prepare them for all that lies ahead.
Listen in to hear all the details. We are so happy to be back and grateful, as always, for your support.
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Sometimes, clarity comes after stepping away. The noise quiets and light peeks through the fog, illuminating a path that has been just out of view but now beckons with the hopeful promise of something amazing.
I have been taking a break from social media, which is always heaven-sent for me. We are steeped in mission preparation, with one day left until we send our son off on his two-year adventure. I have been trying to soak in as much time with him as possible.
In the quiet moments between orchestrating a missionary farewell and open house and all the things that go along with sending a missionary out, my mind has been filled with thoughts of this podcast and how I want to show up so I can best serve my audience. Pondering has brought clarity in my desire to tweak my direction a bit and rebrand the podcast to reflect that change.
Listen if for all the details.
For show notes: http://www.lynnettesheppard.com/episode38/
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A few weeks ago, I saw a meme on Facebook with this message:
"My parents made rules and I didn't even dream of questioning them.
I make rules and my kid demands a 10 page thesis on why, how, what, when, and just so you know Mum, it's not happening."
Mumlyfe
I shared it on my page because I thought it was interesting (and a little disconcerting). One of my followers asked why I felt the behavior represented on the meme was so common. I gave her a short answer, but I wanted to delve deeper into this topic because I think it is essential for parents to understand.
What could account for the change in children's behavior? Just about everything related to child-rearing. This episode lays it all on the table.
Find show notes here: http://www.lynnettesheppard.com/episode37/
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As parents, we have two choices: we can make purposeful parenting decisions, or we can fly by the seat of our pants and see how it goes. With a constant stream of distractions, it is easy to fall into the latter category. However, we will probably not end up where we want to be unless we consistently make intentional parenting decisions.
Author and parenting educator, Amy Carney, knows firsthand about the importance of parenting on purpose. She was thrown into the parenting fire with a set of triplets, followed by another daughter just over a year later. She quickly learned that she would be in way over her head without a parenting plan.
Her triplets are now 18, and, through the process of raising them to be responsible, respectful, resilient humans, Amy has learned much about what it takes to raise a child with values. She recently wrote a book called, Parent on Purpose: A Courageous Approach to Raising Children in a Complicated World, which is packed full of practical and wise parenting advice. In this episode, Amy shares her wisdom with us.
Find show notes here: http://www.lynnettesheppard.com/episode36/
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Connect with Amy on her website: https://amycarney.com
Lately, I have been thinking about the noisy world in which we live. There are countless voices competing for our time and attention, and it is difficult to weed through the chaos and figure out who we should listen to.
I don't know about you, but I get overwhelmed by it all. Pulled in a thousand directions by a thousand different GOOD things, I allow my priorities to get out of whack. My attention gets hijacked by all the podcasts, blogs, books, and information, and I often feel like T.S. Eliot:
"Where is the wisdom we have lost in knowledge? Where is the knowledge we have lost in information?"
I do not want this podcast to be more noise. I don't want you spending your precious time to listen and leave unnourished. I certainly do not want to distract you from doing more important things.
With that in mind, I am making a slight course correction that will (hopefully) make this space a little more helpful to you. Listen in for all the details about where we are heading.
For show notes: http://www.lynnettesheppard.com/episode35/
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The world could use a little more kindness, and kindness begins with each one of us. But how do we teach our kids to be kind when unkindness is so abundant?
I have been wanting to publish a podcast about this topic for quite some time, and I knew that Kay West needed to be the one to teach us. She is one of the kindest, most encouraging people I know. Not only that, but Kay's daughter, Eden, has multiple physical and mental special needs and has been severely bullied and treated unkindly by many people. I am not a super emotional person, but both Kay and I shed a few tears during this interview. Her perspective on teaching kindness is one that every parent needs to hear.
Find show notes here: http://www.lynnettesheppard.com/episode34/
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Follow her kids' business page where they sell Eden's handmade postcards to spread awareness and kindness for children with special needs: @quietlybeingkind
How to help kids manage their emotions is one of the biggest concerns among parents who reach out to me. One mom recently told me that she was dealing with a massive emotional explosion at least every hour, and she is not alone.
As a mom of five, I have been dealing with my kids' BIG emotions for over two decades. Some of them are HIGHLY emotional, and others are naturally more relaxed. In my family, the emotional kids outnumber the rational ones, so I know how exhausting it is to deal with frequent outbursts. And, let me tell you, frequent has an understatement when referring to emotional outbursts during certain stages of my parenting journey.
Like always, I focus on common sense when it comes to this issue. And common sense tells me that expressing powerful emotions at any time or in any place is not appropriate, no matter your age. Learning to manage emotions is a vital life skill, and we are tackling that in this episode.
Find show notes here: http://www.lynnettesheppard.com/episode33/
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From a recent poll on my Facebook page, I learned that the vast majority of parents (82% in this case) believe that raising a teenager is more difficult than raising a toddler. As a mom of teens, I understand why this is.
For starters, teens prioritize their friend group over their family. They generally don't want to hear their parents' opinion. They make big decisions that have potentially far-reaching consequences, and they are often an emotional wreck.
Yeah, the teen waters are turbulent. There is no denying that.
However, I also believe that teenagers are pretty great. If you understand that pulling away is a natural and normal part of teenage development (that we actually want so they don't live with us forever), it takes some of the fear and emotion out of the equation. And that, my friends, is half the battle.
In this episode, we talk a little about development and a lot about how parents can manage the teenage years in a positive way, keeping communication lines open and relationships strong.
Find show notes here: http://www.lynnettesheppard.com/episode32/
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As a mother of five, I have often wished that each child came with his or her own parenting manual. With how different they all are, I sometimes feel like I have to figure things out over and over because what works for one doesn't always work for the others.
However, as a believer, I have come to understand that we do have a parenting manual in the scriptures. In the pages of both the Bible and the Book of Mormon (because we are members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints), there are numerous examples of how God, the only perfect parent, deals with us, as His children.
Of course, we mortals are not in the same league as God. But I believe with my whole heart that the parenting blueprint He repeatedly lays out in scripture is there, in part, to teach us how to raise our children in these confusing times.
With a buffet of parenting philosophies to choose from, it is essential to note that God's parenting blueprint does not line up with a vast majority of modern parenting paradigms. Listen in to find out all the details.
P.S. This episode might be the most important one we have recorded to date.
Find show notes here: http://www.lynnettesheppard.com/episode31/
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Technology is one of my biggest concerns as a parent, partly because of the garbage that is so easily accessible online, and partly because it can be a huge distraction. It makes me crazy to watch my kids waste their time on their devices instead of doing other, more important things.
The reality is, however, that technology is not going away and, therefore, the potential of distraction it creates is here to stay. It is our job, as parents, to learn how to manage our attention and teach our kids to do the same.
To be honest, I am still working on that, but Nir Eyal has spent the last several years studying and writing a book on this topic. I recently read his new book called, Indistractable: How to Control Your Attention and Choose Your Life(which is FANTASTIC!) and then had the opportunity to interview him about raising indistractable kids. This interview is packed full of so much useful information that you might even want to listen to it twice.
Find show notes here: http://www.lynnettesheppard.com/episode30/
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School is getting underway for most people, which means a return to homework after a summer of relaxation (insert collective groan). I know many parents (and kids) struggle with near-daily battles over homework. Sometimes, the process takes several hours and is peppered with emotional landmines, leaving all involved frustrated and upset.
But what if it didn't have to be that way? What if parents could disengage from homework and put it back in the child's court? What if kids could learn to manage the homework process entirely independently and, in the process, gain confidence and competence that will carry over into other aspects of their lives?
Does that sound too good to be true? It is not! In this episode, we walk you through how to end the homework hassle once and for all.
Find show notes here: http://www.lynnettesheppard.com/episode29/
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I believe in the parenting principles that I teach here on the podcast, on my blog, and on social media. My belief has come through watching the transformative power of this parenting style in my life and in the lives of my children.
My faith in God, however, is stronger than my faith in a particular parenting style. I believe that He knows our children better than we know them. He knows what they need when sometimes we are left guessing. I believe He cares deeply about what we are teaching them and how we are raising them. Because of that, I am certain that all parents have the right to inspiration directly from God on behalf of their kids.
There was a time when, after much prayer regarding how to help my struggling child, I received a direct answer to prayer that I did not anticipate. The personalized direction I received contradicted what I thought best, based on the parenting principles I had studied. Yet, I knew God was speaking to me, and that trumped my parenting knowledge and experience.
In this episode, I tell that story for the purpose of illustrating that sometimes, there are exceptions to the rules and principles I teach. I do not dwell in exceptions because that is where the water gets muddy. But, for some reason, I feel compelled to share my experience today. Listen in to find out what happened, what I did about it, and how I learned that keeping open lines of communication with God is vital in the realm of raising children.
For show notes, visit: http://www.lynnettesheppard.com/episode28/
Sleep troubles are common in infancy and early childhood, often leaving both parents and children exhausted. Anybody who has ever dealt with sleep-challenged children knows the implications of chronic sleep deprivation. It affects every aspect of life and often results in near-constant overwhelm.
When my kids were young, I believed sleep deprivation was just something I had to endure until my kids were older. But what if there was another way? What if it were possible to solve sleep challenges in infancy and teach babies and young children to be good sleepers for life?
Lucky for us, there is a way to do that, and Certified Infant and Sleep Consultant, Eva Klein, is here to teach us how to get started.
Find show notes here: http://www.lynnettesheppard.com/episode27/
Connect with Eva: https://mysleepingbaby.com
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Parent guilt (especially mom guilt) is a common thing. I have been there. In fact, I used to live in the land of guilt.
When my kids were young, I felt guilty when they misbehaved because it was surely my fault. I felt guilty because everybody else seemed to have it together when I felt like a hot mess. I felt guilty when I allowed my kids to watch a show so I could get something done. The list goes on and on.
I have come a long way since then. While I still fall back into my old guilt-prone ways from time to time, guilt no longer runs my life, and that feels like freedom.
Today, we are diving into parent guilt in hopes of helping those who sometimes fall into that trap to break free.
For show notes, visit http://www.lynnettesheppard.com/episode26/
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Raising hard-working kids is one of my main goals as a parent because work is one major secret to success in life. I know from my recent reader/listener survey that many of you share that goal and worry about how best to accomplish it. If you fit into that category, you are going to love today’s new episode with Blaine Wiggins.
We discuss:
- How to teach your kids the concept of, “Buy low; sell high,” and how they can use it to earn money in simple and age-appropriate ways
- How to nurture young entrepreneurs and teach them the skills they need to be successful in their business endeavors
- Why firing your landscaper (or maid) is a REALLY good idea
- The secret to getting kids to work Why it is completely OK if your kids hate work. As Blaine says, "If they don't love it, you are doing something right."
For show notes head to: http://www.lynnettesheppard.com/episode25/
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Our son has been serving as a missionary for The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints for the past two years. He came home last week, and we are beyond excited. The reunion was sweet, and we are trying to soak in every second of the time we have with him before he leaves for college in a few weeks.
Our second son has his mission call and will report to the Missionary Training Center on November 6. In this season of life, as we welcome one missionary home and prepare to send another one out, missionary service is on our minds.
In this episode, we discuss why it is vital to start preparing our kids for missions long before their mission calls come, how that preparation entails FAR more than spirituality alone, what skills missionaries need to be successful, and how to start teaching those things.
If you are a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints and have kids of any age, this episode is for you. (And, by the way, all the skills we discuss are necessary for a smooth transition into adulthood, whether or not they choose to serve missions.)
Find show notes here:
http://www.lynnettesheppard.com/episode23/
In Episode 23, we started our discussion about preparing children to serve missions for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. If you haven't already listened to that episode, you might want to do that before listening to this episode, which is a continuation of that conversation.
Find show notes here:
http://www.lynnettesheppard.com/episode24/
A strong marriage provides the foundation for a strong family. It nurtures a feeling of security in the kids and stability to the family unit, which is why I believe that the best gift we can ever give to our kids is a happy marriage.
Whether we have been married for six months or, in our case, 22 years, there is always something we can do to strengthen our marriage. Today, we are talking with special guest, Becky Squire, about five areas of marriage that all married couples should address.
Find show notes at http://www.lynnettesheppard.com/episode22/
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As parents, part of our job is to raise money-smart kids who are well-versed in saving, sharing, and spending smart. That process can be daunting, especially if we do not come from a background of sound financial decisions. But have no fear, friends, because we are here to help.
WHAT YOU WILL LEARN: * The building blocks to learning (and teaching) about money * The biggest mistakes parents make when it comes to teaching their kids about money. * Why allowance is the best tool to teach kids about money. * The way to structure allowance for maximum effectiveness. * When should parents start an allowance, and how much should they give? * What to do if your kids are teens or tweens and you have not yet started teaching them about money. * How to teach kids to save and make charitable contributions in addition to smart spending.
Show notes available here: http://www.lynnettesheppard.com/episode21/
I know I am not alone in wanting my kids to like each other in addition to loving each other. I want them to be friends and appreciate each other long in adulthood. But, some days, I wonder how I can facilitate that when they seem to be arguing every waking minute.
The unfortunate reality is that we cannot force our kids to be best friends. They don't get to choose their siblings like they choose their friends, and sometimes, personalities will clash. Not only that but living with people will always result in conflict from time to time.
Because of that, I do not have a magic wand to wave sibling conflict away. I do, however, have some helpful suggestions for containing it. Hopefully, as we work on containing conflict, it will become less frequent, thus increasing the amount of peace and respect in our homes.
Listen in for all the details.
Find show notes at http://www.lynnettesheppard.com/episode20/
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If you are enjoying the podcast, please consider subscribing or reviewing it on iTunes or wherever you listen to your podcasts. Those reviews help others to find us. And, as always, feel free to share it with your friends. Word of mouth is the best marketing tool.
I (Lynnette) just celebrated my 42nd birthday. To celebrate, we are doing something fun on the podcast: unmasking ourselves. Yep, that is right. We are breaking away from our typical parenting talk to tell you some things about us that you might not know, just for funsies.
Greg and I each wrote a list of things about each other that you might find interesting. The best part is that I had no idea what Greg was going to say about me, and he had no idea what I was going to say about him. The reactions are 100% unscripted, which means there is a lot of laughing involved.
What You Will Learn: * How we developed our individual athletic prowess (or lack thereof). * Why I cannot trust Greg at the grocery store. * What I almost studied in college. * Some hidden hobbies and talents. * How we started dating. * And SO MUCH more that will make you laugh and love us even more than you already do (or so we hope).
Find show notes at http://www.lynnettesheppard.com/episode19/
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If you are enjoying the podcast, please consider subscribing or reviewing it on iTunes or wherever you listen to your podcasts. Those reviews help others to find us. And, as always, feel free to share it with your friends. Word of mouth is the best marketing tool.
Helicopter parents are the cultural norm these days. They have good intentions and are trying to be the best parents they can be. The problem is that this style of parenting is not in the best interest of children because the underlying message is, "I don't trust you. You cannot do things without my help."
If we, as parents, want to raise kids who have the skills, the confidence, and the resilience to navigate the challenges of life, we must set aside our micromanaging tendencies and teach our kids to stand on their own two feet. This episode will teach you how (and why) to do just that.
What you will learn: * The three universal struggles of helicopter parents (control, trust, perfectionism). * What each of us can and cannot control. * Why micromanaging is not teaching, and what to do instead. * Why helicopter parents are parenting from a place of fear (often subconsciously), and which fears are most likely to be leading the charge. * The likely results of fear-based parenting. * How to reframe your fears and your thinking to achieve different results. * The three-step process to teach your child a new skill (TSD - tell, show, do). * How to get your child to listen and comply with a single request. * Why you should never routinely do for your child what he is capable of doing for himself. * How competence increases confidence.
Find show notes at http://www.lynnettesheppard.com/episode18/
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If you are enjoying the podcast, please consider subscribing or reviewing it on iTunes or wherever you listen to your podcasts. Those reviews help others to find us. And, as always, feel free to share it with your friends. Word of mouth is the best marketing tool.
Have you ever wondered about the role of consequences in parenting? Do you worry that the consequences you assign to your children's misbehavior are too harsh? Or not harsh enough? Do you wonder if you should use natural or logical consequences? Do you use the same consequences over and over, hoping that they will eventually produce the desired results?
If you answered yes to any of those questions, you are not alone, and you are in the right place. Today, we are delving into the hot-button topic of consequences, so buckle up!
Find show notes at http://www.lynnettesheppard.com/episode17/
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We have 20+ years of experience raising strong-willed kids. (Only one out of five kids would I truly classify as easy-going.) With that experience, we have learned a thing or two about what to do and what to avoid like the plague. And also how to keep your sanity because these kids know how to push their parents' buttons like a boss. Along with pushing buttons, however, they have an incredible amount of drive and potential that we, as parents, can help them harness.
What you will learn in this episode: 1. Your kids' strong-will is not your fault. 2. Strong-willed kids need boundaries, even though they don't want them. 3. Strong-willed kids are often driven and highly perfectionistic, which means they are incredibly hard on themselves. 4. Strong-willed kids will routinely invite you to engage in power struggles and will fight to the bitter end (even about stupid things). Don't hop on that bandwagon. 5. Strong-willed kids crave their parents' trust. 6. Strong-willed kids are natural leaders. 7. Strong-willed kids are often HIGHLY competitive. 8. Strong-willed kids thrive when they are permitted to be themselves. 9. The things that make spirited kids difficult to raise are the same ones that make them into strong leaders and successful people. 10. It is not our job as parents to break our kids' strong wills, but to teach them how to put that gift to good use.
Find show notes for this episode here
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There are times when I look around at what I am up against - what we are up against - in attempting to raise children who can maintain faith in a world that discourages it at every turn, and I feel a little bit like Aragorn's army in Tolkien's classic novel, Return of the King. There are times when I feel a sense of fear, even panic when I wonder how this seemingly impossible task can be accomplished.
Our children are on the front lines of the battle every day. They spend hours outside of our watchful care, making daily decisions that will eventually determine where their loyalties lie. There are influences all around them that can destroy the faith that we, as their parents, strive to help them develop.
Given the uphill battle, some may wonder if this is a pointless fight - if surrender, though not what we want to do, is staring us in the face, waiting for us to accept it as a regrettable option. And, to those, I echo Aragorn's passionate plea, "This day we fight!"
In this episode, we talk about why family is the first line of defense against the evils of the world, and how to nurture faith in our kids.
Find show notes at http://www.lynnettesheppard.com/episode15/
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If you are enjoying the podcast, please consider subscribing or reviewing it on iTunes or wherever you listen to your podcasts. Those reviews help others to find us. And, as always, feel free to share it with your friends. Word of mouth is the best marketing tool.
Boredom is the universal curse of summer break. But do not fret, my friend, because I am here to help. With five kids who are now mostly teens and young adults, I have been through a summer or two (or 20) with a houseful of bored children. And you know what I have learned? Boredom is a blessing.
I know what you are thinking: "What do you mean boredom is a blessing? My kids drive me CRAZY with their complaints about having nothing to do. When they are not complaining, they are fighting with each other. I feel like I am constantly playing referee or finding ways to entertain them so I can keep my sanity."
But what if you changed your mindset? What would happen if you decided to think of boredom as an opportunity instead of a problem?
In my experience, boredom is where creativity is born. Kids are born with wild imaginations that will never come to life unless they have unstructured time to connect with them. In other words, they must have nothing to do for long enough to get in touch with their creativity and make their own fun.
Easier said than done; I know. But this episode just might inspire you to give it a shot.
Show notes at throwbackparenting.com
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“Everybody wants to make a difference, but nobody wants to be different. And you simply cannot have one without the other.” Andy Andrews Do you ever feel like you don't fit in? That you are different from the crowd? I am raising my hand high. That has been a huge theme in my life and, for some reason, I feel compelled to talk about it today.
In this episode, I dive deep into my story of learning to accept and own the fact that I am different - that I don't need to fit in. The journey started in my early childhood, as feeling like I didn't belong was the theme of my youth. I continue to walk this path of self-discovery and self-acceptance today, though much more confidently than in the past.
If you have ever felt like you were on the fringe and longed for connections that remained elusive, or if you want to know what that is like from my perspective, you will enjoy this episode.
Show notes at throwbackparenting.com
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While some personalities are more prone to yelling than others, it seems to be a universal problem among parents. I know it is a hot-button topic in the parenting community because nobody likes the way they feel after they yell at their kids.
But guess what? You have come to the right place! I can help you step back, look at the big picture, and identify why you lose your cool. Once you understand your triggers, it is easier to fix the problem.
Guess what else? The triggers might not be what you think they are. They might stem from trying to be a nice, positive mom.
I know what you are thinking; why would trying to be nice cause me to yell?
We get into that in great detail in this episode, along with several other reasons why parents resort to yelling. After listening, you will be able to target your triggers, realize why they are causing you to lose your cool, and take steps to overcome them. It could be life-changing!
Find show notes here
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Do you have kids who are never ready on time in the morning because they are distractable, unmotivated, or simply as slow as molasses? If so, you are in good company. This seems to be a universal problem among parents. We have sure been there with our kids!
But what is the solution? How do you motivate your kids to get ready on time without following them around, hovering, micromanaging, or doing things for them because they simply do not seem capable of taking care of things on their own?
We have a few ideas for you, so do not fear. We can help you solve this problem, taking the stress out of mornings, and making it possible for you to do whatever you want in the morning, knowing that your kids will be ready to go when the time comes.
Sound too good to be true? It is not! Listen in to find out how to make the magic happen in your own home.
Find show notes at lynnettesheppard.com/episode11/
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Whether we are talking about technology or curfews, teens and their parents are prone to misunderstanding each other. I, my friends, fall right into that category. I often find myself scratching my head and wondering what in the world is going on in the heads of my teens. I think they might be from another planet. Or maybe I am. Either way, the struggle is real.
In a rather selfish move, I asked my 16-year-old daughter, Elise, to come on the podcast and talk to us about things teens wish their parents understood. While hesitant at first, she quickly agreed, for which I was beyond grateful. This was my chance to get a tiny peek into her head, which I knew would provide some much-needed insight. So this episode was born.
Our conversation with Elise was completely unscripted. She had written an outline, which we briefly discussed before recording, but neither Greg or I had the outline in our hands. She was leading this ship, and we were coming along for the ride.
Elise has some fantastic insight and wisdom beyond her 16 years. If you have teens or will at any point in the future, you won't want to miss it.
Show notes available at lynnettesheppard.com/episode10/
Sometimes, in the midst of the struggles associated with raising teens and young adults, hope is elusive. Award-winning author and speaker, Heidi Tucker, knows a little bit about that. While she was raising her four children, she had her share of challenges, some of which felt almost insurmountable at the time. She now writes and speaks about discovering hope amidst the challenges of life. I am thrilled to have her on the podcast to discuss how parents can find hope in the journey of raising teens and young adults.
Even if you do not have teens or young adults, Heidi's wisdom and advice apply to any hard situation you might encounter. Listen in to find some light and hope in your own journey.
For show notes, visit throwbackparenting.com
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Find Heidi on her website, The Pickled Sunflower
Purchase her books, Finding Hope in the Journey and Servie's Song here.
We've all heard of them - lawnmower parents. They go to whatever lengths necessary to prevent their children from facing adversity, pain, challenge, or failure.
Lawnmower parents are undoubtedly well-intentioned. They want the best for their kids and are willing to go to great lengths to help then succeed. The problem is that they are short-sighted. They do not realize that their parenting style clearly tells their kids, "I don't think you are capable of doing things on your own, so I will do this for you."
In the end, this style of parenting produces kids who are ill-equipped to handle the challenges of life. They struggle to make decisions. They do not trust themselves. They are fragile and often fall apart when life doesn't go their way.
But all of us might have a little lawnmower parent in us that shows up from time to time if we are not careful. (I know I do!) In true Jeff Foxworthy style, listen in to this episode for a lighthearted discussion about how "You might be a lawnmower parent if..."
Show notes at throwbackparenting.com
I have heard lots of buzz lately about positive reinforcement in the context of parenting. Perhaps, that is because "positive parenting" is en vogue. It is so popular, in fact, that it sometimes feels like any other style of parenting is perceived as negative.
Positive parenting is grounded in positive reinforcement, an idea that was popularized by B.F. Skinner in the 1960s and 70s. Skinner believed that behavior that is rewarded will continue, while behavior that is not rewarded will eventually disappear.
But does positive reinforcement actually shape the behavior of children in a way that is sustainable? Should parents incentivize good behavior with rewards? That is what we are discussing in this episode. Listen in to hear our take.
Marjorie Pay Hinkley said, "The only way to get through life is to laugh your way through it. You either have to laugh or cry. I prefer to laugh. Crying gives me a headache."
It is no secret that raising children can be stressful at times, but humor has a way of taking the edge off tense situations. In this episode, we talk about the role of laughter in parenting and family life. We even share some of our most hilarious parenting fails. You won't want to miss it!
I recently received this question on Instagram:
“What should I do when my child doesn’t listen – flat out ignoring me until I yell or do something physical to get their attention? I ask calmly and quietly and kindly and after the 3rdtime, I may need to make eye contact, but even when they acknowledge that I asked something (OK, Mom) they don’t do it.”
We will tackle this question in today's episode, so listen in. Whether you have preschoolers or teens, the strategies we share will work.
We are the proud parents of three teens, one young adult, and one 10-year-old. When our kids were young, we were terrified of having teenagers because everybody told us how hard it was to deal with moody, irrational, disrespectful teens. Now that we are in the thick of that stage, it is turning out to be our favorite parenting season yet. It is not without its difficulties, but we think teens are awesome!
In this episode, we discuss both the joys and the challenges of parenting during this stage of life. We think you will find our perspective hopeful and uplifting. If you have teenagers or will at any point in the future, this one is for you.
Like it says in Ecclesiastes chapter 3, life is full of seasons. Because raising a child is a marathon and not a sprint, it is marked by seasonal changes. In this episode, we do a deep dive into the three seasons of parenting that begin with birth and end with emancipation. Each season has very specific goals that, if met, will prepare the child for the next season. If all goes well, the end result will be a respectful, self-disciplined, resilient, competent young adult who is prepared for the rigors of independent living.
Even if your kids are teenagers, this episode is packed full of useful information. Unfortunately, too many kids are not meeting seasonal goals on schedule, which has huge implications now and in the future. If you want to raise kids who are prepared for real life, this episode is for you.
The style of parenting we live and teach requires a good deal of courage in today's crazy world. In this episode, we discuss 10 ways in which you might need to proudly wear your bravery in order to raise kids with morals, values, responsibility, and faith. We also talk about some tips and tricks we have learned that have helped us to foster our own courageous parenting mentality. If you have a desire to raise your kids with courage and hope, this episode is for you.
Welcome to the brand-new Throwback Parenting Podcast! In this episode, we introduce ourselves and tell the story of our parenting journey. It started out rough, leaving us feeling like failures as parents while our young kids walked all over us. As a result of a series of events that took place when our oldest child was about seven-years-old, we decided to throw everything we thought we knew about raising children out the window and build our parenting philosophy from scratch. That decision changed our lives, giving us confidence and hope as we watched our children's behavior dramatically transform before our eyes. It was one of the best things we have ever done for our family.
Now that most of our kids are teens and young adults, we have a great desire to share what we have learned with the world. Listen in for more all the details, and welcome to our tribe!