J. Brown Yoga Thoughts: Recent Episodes
J. Brown Yoga
The Blogcast. Celebrating 10 years of 800 words per month, written and now read aloud by J. Brown, influential independent yoga teacher at the forefront of the slow yoga renaissance. J navigates coming into his adulthood alongside yoga becoming mainstream and ends up leading the way in what is at once both a revolution and return to the ancients roots of yoga.
It’s official. I will be closing my yoga center down at the end of this year. The hipster pond that I once helped homestead a decade ago has come to a boil quicker than I could have foreseen, and the only sensible thing to do is come up with an exit plan. Contrary to the common meme though, I don’t think the ‘studio model’ is disappearing.
I always knew that my time for an ending would come. I have witnessed the pattern enough to predict that an operation like mine can only keep pace with the rents for so long before getting priced out. What is surprising is how fast it happens and how hard it is to accept when the numbers turn against you. It’s easy to place blame somewhere. With myself for not running the business better. Or with the NYC real estate market for acting so seemingly against its own interests and humanity. Or with a larger economic system that is based on a grow-or-die model which precludes a healthy stasis for community-supported businesses.
For a long time, I relished the way I could “crack” my back and neck. Just the right turn of my torso would send a ripple of clicks and releases along my spine. My idea about it was that those cracks were “unsticking” the gears of my body-machine. But there was also an underlying pattern playing itself out. Those cracks were a symbol of sorts, they represented all the breakthroughs and “tapas” I had accomplished through my many years of diligent practice. The cracks felt good, at least until they didn’t anymore.
I grew up in the eighties. My folks moved from NY to Los Angeles and settled into the comfort of a big house, two-car garage, and three kids. We were never in want for money. My dad made millions as the vice president of a huge construction firm. I was raised to believe that there was no limit to what I could attain. The milieu of my childhood is best exemplified by a t-shirt that hung in my dad’s closet, and would sometimes be bandied around for laughs, it read: “He who dies with the most toys wins.”
In the nineties, I moved from LA to NY for college and rejected the era of my upbringing as representing a glorification of the superficial. I was one of the x-generation slackers who grew up alongside the corporatization of America, whose only defense against the takeover of everyday life was feigned apathy. On some level, I felt despair over something I could not explain but, being young and without a sense of consequence, I still believed that I was entitled to more.
A number of long-time yoga teachers are deciding to stop referring to what they teach as yoga. In the past, the term yoga represented a freedom to explore and discover truths outside western cultural norms. Now that yoga has largely become a western cultural norm, fueled by the advertising prowess of a multi-billion dollar industry and challenged by scholars questioning appropriation, public perception has been shaped in ways that have made the word yoga seem limiting. However, the teachers are the only ones who hold the power to define what they do, not scholars or the industry.
The novelty of yoga has been worn down to almost nothing by a multi-billion dollar industry that cares little for its tenets, like the crumbling shreds of a shoddily made pvc mat from China. But from out of the ashes of craven images and advertising schemes, a new discipline is emerging.
Continuing education for yoga teachers is in high demand since the proliferation of yoga teacher training certification has reached epic proportions. No one expects someone to be seasoned after merely two hundred hours, and technological advancements have enabled newfound access and resources to anyone with an internet connection. More than just a knowledge of yoga, or adjunct skills for teaching, these offerings often purport to give practical career advice that will help graduates succeed financially. Unfortunately, business advice for “yogapreneurs” is often grossly misguided.
In the last twenty years, yoga in the west has gone from a guru-driven model to a market-driven model. Decisions still often come from atop a pyramid. But now, the directives are based more on aggregated data than on the presumed authority of an ancient wisdom. One small manifestation of this turn can be found in the way that yoga classes have gotten progressively shorter. As yoga teachers are newly questioning old models for what and how they teach, industry mores also deserve examination.
Among longtime yoga professionals, there are some well-kept secrets. The reasons for these truths to remain unspoken are rooted in protecting both personal and professional interests. But, for many, the veneer has worn too thin and what once was an article of faith now feels like perpetuating myths. For those untangling the mess of confused emotions and experiences, honesty is our only saving grace.
Coming of age in the yoga profession means facing changing realities and shifting priorities. The majority of yoga teachers start out in the profession at an early time in their lives. But as the viability of old models wanes and independent players have less impact in the face of up-scaled operations, long-term prospects for careers in yoga are less apparent. For those whose passion cannot be deterred by the odds, their faith and trust in practice will likely be tested.
A confluence of conversations has emerged in the yoga world regarding purpose, safety, and abuse of power. The politics involved are playing themselves out, and the sides of the debate are being formed along disparate lines. The microcosm of what has been occurring in practice rooms for more than a decade is now bursting forth in a macrocosmic confusion around where people stand. As communities struggle to make sense of confusing emotions and contradictory viewpoints, a careful examination of where we might actually be able to effect change is in order.
For many, it is has become important to distinguish between “asana,” or the performing of postures, and yoga. Both those who are inclined towards yoga as a fitness regimen, and those who embrace it as more than just exercise, find it necessary to clarify the intent and purpose behind their practice. This compartmentalisation, while convenient and often useful, brings with it a dilemma, the resolution to which determines what is actually possible with yoga.
Economic trends and the evolution of social media have led to a shift in the way yoga is being effectively marketed. The old model of packaging and selling a style of practice has largely been retired. Now, everyone agrees, the teacher is the brand. With this comes a string of inevitabilities that are at the heart of what plagues most professional yoga teachers today.
When circumstances, ruled by forces beyond the will of one individual, overshadow our personal experience of life, unconscious resentment and fear run deep. The coercive fuel of capitalism has conditioned and resigned us to manipulation that both obfuscates truth and reveals the inhumanity of entrenched power. Despite hopelessness, perhaps a kernel of our sacrificed fortitude and imagination can be redeemed.
Last month, the Yoga Alliance announced a new policy regarding “yoga therapy terminology” that creates a significant new precedent. A lack of any public debate and transparency in the process has made it difficult to discern why exactly this was needed and what purpose it serves. Perhaps this explains why there has been almost no response from yoga teachers thus far. Or, more likely, people are just too turned off by the politics involved to care.
Expanding the definition of reality beyond the usual time, money and politics is generally considered naive or delusional. Aspects of life that are immeasurable or defy explanation are relegated to the realm of hearsay and mysticism. But from a purely pragmatic standpoint, magic is undeniable.
Now that the information superhighway is such a ubiquitous part of our lives, repercussions must be reckoned with. In this time of smartphones and big data, the ancient yogic practice of questioning our identifications needs to include the technologies that have become appendages to our minds and bodies.
For the modern yoga world, 2015 was a time of reckoning. The veneer of yoga lifestyle branding dulled further and the un-photoshopped belly continued to garner greater market appeal. Both grassroots and corporate entities that staked claims in the once vast frontier are now scrambling to stay ahead of the digital winds that are shaping the new paradigm.
Recent events and the turn of season have landed on many like a celestial wet blanket, casting a hue of funk and resignation. Even just a quick glance at any news feed bombards us with what seems to be insurmountable suffering, injustice, and ignorance. Governments and institutions appear at a loss to stem the tide. As individuals, we have no choice but to either give in to hopelessness or garner our intrinsic resources.
The continued rise of Instagram-influenced yoga has led to a new wave of criticism among East-Indians and academics alike. Accusations of cultural appropriation are being levied just as long-held myths are being debunked. Many earnest practitioners find themselves confused by the discord between what they see and read in the media and the experience they have of Yoga in their lives.
Once heralded and esteemed, yoga conferences have lost much of their appeal as livelier yoga festivals have come into emergence and birthed new forms of yoga events. Large-scale gatherings and demonstrations, happening under the auspices of group yoga practice, are setting new precedents and are emblematic of ever expanding roles yoga is playing in our culture.
The unforgiving trajectory of real estate markets poses the greatest challenge for independent yoga centers. In order to survive, smaller centers need to locate in popular areas where residents can afford the service they provide. But there seems to be an unmistakable time limit on how long the profitability of a yoga class can keep pace with ever rising rents.
Polarization seems rampant across all sectors of modern life. Debates on money, politics, religion, and even yoga, readily devolve into diametrically opposed camps. Moderate voices are lost in the din of intolerance and most folks understandably turn away from the discussion with disgust or lament. But without someone staking the middle ground, and others who embrace and support it, chances are the problems of the day will continue unabated.
Yoga teachers don't really make a living off teaching yoga classes anymore. Many rely upon conducting yoga teacher training. But contrary to popular belief, this trend may have less to do with the business or marketing inclinations of yoga teachers and more to do with the purchasing and study habits of the yoga-going public.
Statistics show that Americans are working harder, for longer hours, and are more productive than ever. Yet, few are getting ahead and most are grateful if they can just make ends meet. As stress-related illnesses account for an increasing number of doctor visits, the call to slow down and unplug has gotten louder. But juggling the demands of worldly life can often end up at odds with being attentive to our individual needs. Sometimes, knowing where to best make the trade-off is all we can do.
The ubiquitous trope that “yoga is stretching” is based on a fundamental misunderstanding of both yoga and human anatomy. Now that scientific research is largely debunking ingrained notions of what it means to “stretch,” the language that yoga teachers and media are using to describe what yoga practice does needs to be questioned.
On the outskirts of the last decade, a small and humble minority has been pushing back against the pumped up power craze that swept through the nineties, and still largely has a hold on modern postural yoga. Now that the longstanding kingdoms that once guarded yoga's legacies have fallen, and individuals are left more to their own devices, this once obscure and unsung song is finding a new chorus of practitioners.
Given the patriarchal history of yoga and society, the predominance of women in yoga classes and the marketing efforts to entice men is not only profoundly ironic but indicative of changing gender dynamics. As universal concepts continue to be teased out of the dogmas, we are challenged to let go of deeply ingrained modes of communicating. While both men and women need to play a role in restoring mutuality, it behooves men to bear the greater burden.
The traditional roles of yoga teacher and student have collapsed under the weight of cultural appropriation, capitalism, and scandal. In the aftermath, yoga teachers often find themselves trapped in a nowhere land somewhere between fitness instructor and life coach. But yoga is learned in relationship, the nature of which largely determines the understanding. So for yoga teachings to retain integrity in the modern world, updated models may be required.
Transformation is a catchword in yoga circles. Wanting to see things change, both personally and societally, is often what motivates people to practice. But the ability to bring about change does not always correspond with things getting better. Life has a curious way of balancing our desire for something new with the obstinate reality of the way things are.
Life is difficult to discern. The mix of wonder and suffering is confusing. And there is so much put upon us, shaping our thinking and experiences. It’s hard to know where the outside influence stops and the inner prison begins. But every now and again, the paradox acts as a signpost of sorts, revealing the magnitude of being born into existence and parting therefrom.
News that the saving grace CEO of the Yoga Alliance, Richard Karpel, is leaving after only two years was met with little more than a collective: “whatever.” But to anyone who wants to see the reformation that Karpel ushered in continue, his departure is both surprising and concerning. The reason for Karpel’s short tenure is unclear and, with many unresolved issues still facing the yoga profession, it remains to be seen whether the YA will rest on Karpel’s laurels while sliding back into the shell game that it has historically been or continue to evolve into something worthy of the hard earned dollars that roll into its coffers.
In the new connection economy, community is an invaluable asset. When people identify with a particular set of motivating ideas, those inclinations can easily be targeted to encourage behavior with either honest or nefarious intent. Too often, calls to rally the “yoga community” fail because they inadvertently become veiled attempts to follow a model of coercion rather than camaraderie.
When I meet someone who is new to yoga and they learn that I am a teacher, they always say the same thing: "I went to a yoga class and it was really hard." While it's encouraging that so many people are trying yoga, that their early experiences always feel like "hard work" is unfortunate. Setting this precedent becomes the basis for many of the pitfalls that betide practitioners today.
Perhaps the most questionable convention in yoga practice is the assertion that headstand and shoulderstand are the “king and queen of asana.” Deeply rooted in classical traditions and adopted by modern hybrids, the emphasis on these poses is an example of a broader disconnect between ideals and actualities.
In the pursuit of health through yoga, the challenge is often more about shifting ingrained sensibilities than addressing physical limitations. Attempting to tune, fix, quantify, purify or explain a human body, as though it were more a piece of equipment in need of optimization or repairs than a highly temperamental organism, is not likely to heal the wounds or set a necessary course for well being.
Advertising gurus know how to use imagery to create associations and a precedent of thought that steer behavior. As yoga has grown into a common pop-culture reference, the image of someone executing balance poses has become the symbol of one's steadiness in life. But many are learning the hard way that, actually, equanimity within requires more than these sort of displays.
The internet is changing. As access becomes more and more ubiquitous, established norms are quickly becoming outmoded. The usefulness and appeal of social media need to be reexamined across all sectors of culture. And the yoga world provides an interesting example.
In the grand play of will and happenstance that comprises a life, periods of malaise are bound to take hold. These times, while disconcerting, provide a fertile proving ground for cultivating a vision of ourselves based not in fear but nurtured by our deepest sense of courage and humanity.
Recent studies are calling into question what we really know about a wide range of health conditions. Placebo is often found to be as effective as conventional treatments. And the tendency to gloss over these findings with merely a warning against "fake medicine" overlooks more important implications.
Just as good riddance was being given to 2013, Yogaglo, a prominent online yoga video service, was awarded a patent on a set of criteria for producing yoga video. In a statement released just before the holidays, Yogaglo defended its position and offered examples of alternative methods that are not in violation of the patent. A consideration of their suggestions and the precedents being set raises serious questions about the future of yoga on the internet.
As we face the unforeseeable future, practicality and fear compel us to plan. In order to meet the challenges of life, some forethought is required. And making every effort to secure our desires is a primal impulse. However, attempts at fulfillment must reckon with a universal irony that renders most plotting futile.
Arbitrary as it is, the end of a calendar year always lends itself towards reflection and re-evaluation. Marking time with numbers makes it near impossible to avoid an attempt at measuring progress as the dial ticks once more. Really though, these annual assessments are only useful if they inform how we think about the course of our lives more than what we think may have been accomplished in it.
Information technology is transforming the way human beings engage and interact with one another. Like most industries, the yoga world is keen to embrace and capitalize on the new media. But without a clear understanding of how these technologies are affecting us and a conscious relationship to their usage, we are easily betrayed by their advertised promise.
Most people who practice yoga with any consistency over time begin to recognize that the benefits extend well beyond having a strong and flexible body. But unlocking the keys to the real power of yoga often requires a fearless embrace of vulnerability that runs contrary to the image we have of yoga's fruition.
Life coaching has emerged as a new wellness profession and is being closely associated with yoga. What was once mostly the purview of corporate managers trying to maximize the productivity of their workforce has become a mainstream way for individuals to catapult their careers, break free from 9-5 jobs, and create richer lives. But this forced marriage is fraught with problems and doomed to fail. For the relationship between life coaching and yoga is too often rooted in superficial trappings rather than the soul of the matter.
Now that yoga class attendees who were never really into the yoga have largely migrated to Crossfit, and the once freely-given pass on safety has expired, grassroots practitioners are reclaiming the terms of their trade. The old school of yoga is resurgent, offering an antidote to a cultural infatuation with youth and body image.
Triumphant as it may seem, the vast internet array of photos depicting every budding yogi's best arm balance is misleading. Assigning these images to the epitome of yoga detracts from the real draw and glory of yoga, which actually takes place outside the practice ritual.
There are three general sensibilities that shape the process by which someone comes to an understanding of yoga, and its capacity to empower. Each approach offers benefits but, contrary to common assumptions, they do not all lead to the same conclusions or results. For purposes here, these perspectives will be referred to as: transcendental, transformational, and sacrosanctual.
Hype surrounding meditation abounds. Wherever you look, someone is extolling the virtues of meditation while unwittingly sabotaging its occurrence. The intent is to help people better manage stress and enjoy more fulfilling lives. But what many refer to as meditation is often nothing of the sort and, with all the grandiose claims being bandied about, easily engenders more problems than it solves.
Since its inception in 1999, the Yoga Alliance has developed a deservedly bad reputation for collecting millions of dollars from the yoga community without providing any real service in return. However, a new president and CEO has taken over and the time may have come for yoga teachers and schools to rethink previous positions and explore the usefulness of a trade organization that is more responsive to their interests.
Among those interested in yoga philosophy, many consider the notion of a "householder" interpretation to be a watering down of essential teachings. This stems from a classical view of yoga as an inherently ascetic endeavor, requiring a withdrawal from ordinary life in order to attain a state of unindividuated mind that is free from pain and suffering. However, a strong case can be made that not only is the mundane path equally steeped in the history and philosophies of yoga but that it is profoundly more relevant and helpful to modern practitioners then predominate dogmas.
Fifty years since the cultural revolution of the hippie generation, the inner child has all but disappeared from the self-help lexicon. In much the same way that the sixties message of peace and love has aged into something more like containment and indifference, few today hold much stock in the notion that there is an innocent child, full of wonder, at the center of their being. Regardless of one's stance on the inherent benignity of people, a practical consideration of the inner child is worth much more than simply the punchline to a bad joke
Major tectonic shifts in the modern yoga world have created an entirely new landscape for both the industry and consumers. The founding generation of yoga trend-setters, whose innovation and entrepreneurial spirit fostered what is now established convention, have largely achieved the goal of ushering yoga into the mainstream of society, and no longer speak from the same obscure or vaulted mantles they once did. And some of the most renowned among these figures have fallen from proverbial pedestals, revealing the fallibility of yoga celebrity and a vacuum of substance.
Regardless of ones station, there is little chance of making it through a lifetime without some amount of difficulty and pain. Acknowledging this fact is useful in potentially encouraging more plausible expectations and acceptance of the way things are. However, too often, this inextricable truth is misperceived and becomes an enabler for imposing needless suffering upon ourselves and others.
Referring to a yoga center with the caveat: "it's not-for-profit" often carries with it an assumption of merit. Given the humanitarian and universal nature of yoga, taking the profit motive out of the business model seems ideal. However, a further examination of the trade-offs involved in opening both for-profit and not-for-profit yoga centers challenges this assumption.
Adepts have told us that yoga can be found in anything. But does that mean that anything can be yoga? With all the mixing and combining of yoga with other activities going on these days, the line between what constitutes a yoga practice and what does not has certainly become blurred and invites us to wonder why so many people find yoga insufficient on its own.
I have often derided the "yoga industry" or "commercial yoga" as though it were a boogie man that is out to get us. The emergence of new anti-establishment voices in the yoga blogosphere has spurned even harsher scrutiny of "yoga culture." Expansion of the internet and social media has led to more of a real dialogue about yoga then at any other time since it became my life pursuit. However, some of these new voices have caused me to question my own.
Despite yoga's reputation for stress reduction, yoga classes regularly exhibit a lack of understanding about the nature of stress or how to effectively address it. Often, people talk about stress as though it were a lactic acid in their muscles that just needs to be stretched out. Surely, one of the great boons of an appropriate yoga practice is its capacity for alleviating some amount of musculoskeletal tension. However, this is merely scratching the surface when it comes to dealing with stress in the sort of epidemic proportions that we currently face.
Fierce debate springs eternal among yoga enthusiasts regarding the merits of purely fitness-based sensibilities in yoga practice. Usually, it starts with someone from the more-than-fitness side feeling compelled to say out loud that Yoga is not just working out. To which, the inevitable response is that many people are utilizing yoga practice for physical fitness alone and it's a beautiful thing so who are you to define yoga or pass judgement on anyone else?
Whenever I watch the latest viral video of a scantily clad babe doing acrobatic yoga in her living room, something in me laments. I realize that these videos serve as inspiration to others and I appreciate the beauty, skill and sense of personal empowerment they represent. But I can't escape the feeling that these displays are better left to the performing arts than to a yoga mat.
With all the deserved criticism being leveled upon the yoga industry of late, it's important to distinguish between the influence of corporate business and what is happening at the grassroots. There is no better example of the disparity between these two mores than the efforts of Yoga for NY, an organization of yoga centers and teachers that have banded together to see that their interests are represented in local government.
Apparently, yoga originates from Tantric sex cults. So says the senior science writer at the NY Times in a sequel to his debut about how yoga kills. Scholars have long debated the origins of yoga, which existed as a purely oral tradition for thousands of years. I may not have any academic bona fides but I think it's safe to say that just because there is a document, dating back to medieval India, stating that cobra pose has the specific purpose of sexual arousal doesn't necessarily mean that yoga originated from Tantric sex cults.
The other day I was at Staples printing up some new student cards. A woman standing next to me noticed that I was doing something for a yoga center. She told me that she loved yoga and was curious if I worked there and asked what kind of yoga they practice. After learning I was the director and that we have a therapeutic orientation, she asked me if I could recommend some poses to help a situation with her lower back.
Infrequent visitors to the yoga blogosphere may not be aware of the recent kerfuffle surrounding a NY Times article about how yoga will hurt you, but there also has been some mainstream media coverage on the safety of yoga. While the article seems to have broken a few glass jaws in the broader yoga community, practitioners with a therapeutic orientation have been sounding alarms about questionable practice for years and getting nothing but flak in return.
Despite the plausibility of good intentions, the yoga industry's emphasis on transformation around the new year feels a bit too opportunistic. Personal transformation may come as a natural progression in the context of yoga practice but the process is greatly hindered when the concept is used as a dangling carrot to sell memberships.
Is it just me or did 2011 feel like a complete wash? Nothing particularly horrible or great stands out. The small triumph of not letting daily mundane tribulations get the best of me may not rank high on a scorecard but I am nonetheless grateful for having managed to get through relatively unscathed. An ever-increasing work load that has yet to yield exponential fruits has created an eerie sense of foreboding that makes it difficult to be optimistic. I simply can't bear any more dashed hope.
Flipping through the catalog for a big name yoga and retreat center, I was shocked to notice that they advertised their yoga teacher training programs as "Yoga Alliance Approved." Misrepresentations like this are the dirty little secret of the yoga industry. No one really wants to admit there is no accreditation for Yoga.
Trolling yoga blogs and the comment threads that ensue reveals a prevailing sentiment of tough love. Sure, there are a few hold-outs from the sixties still hanging around but the new breed of yogi is way too savvy to be fooled by any fluff and seems more interested in what you can do than how what you do makes you think or behave.
Ever heard the one about the Dalai Lama and the hotdog vendor? Make me one with everything. This has always been my favorite joke. Recently, I was made aware of how, like a lot of effective humor, the punchline is based on a not so funny premise.As an astute Shakespearean scholar once pointed out: "As long as there is pain and suffering in the world, there will always be something to laugh at."
Exploitation of yoga in advertising is nothing new. When a product wants to associate with a low-stress or healthy lifestyle, invariably, the commercial features people doing yoga poses. Increasing popularity of yoga makes the marketing demographic undeniable. A recent Advil campaign has taken this phenomenon to another level. Instead of merely showing imagery of yoga practice, there is an actual yoga teacher addressing the camera directly as spokesperson.
I have only been in one fight. It was in the third grade. I don't recall what the impetus was but it ended up in a war of words between me and another boy on the basketball court. I remember deciding to hit him but when I went to strike my arm went slack. It was as if my body overrode my minds directive and I was incapable of trying to harm him.
I continually assert that yoga practice encompasses more than physical fitness. As much as I generally try to avoid admitting it, this does implicitly question whether the use of yoga poses for physical fitness alone can even be considered yoga practice. My interpretation of what constitutes a yoga practice aside for now, I am thinking of a specific example where a principle of exercise science is at odds with a holistic perspective.
I have this tendency to be overly provocative, sometimes to a fault. I have managed to temper this but, as discussed last month, changing old patterns requires continued attention. The title of this post is a perfect example. You see, I really wanted to call it "F*** Union with the Divine" but I decided to exercise my better judgement. Indulging in my taste for irreverence is immensely satisfying; however, incendiary language can easily put folks off and the intended sentiments are lost in my fancy for stirring the pot.
My wife and daughter have been away for almost two weeks and I have reverted to the ways of my bachelorhood. This morning, I was forced to do dishes only because there were no more cereal bowls left. Even worse, I only washed one bowl so I could eat and then put it back on the stack when I was done.
Let there be no doubt that life can be severely ironic. Two weeks after I sent out remarks on the sacrifices my wife was making for our family, she got laid off from that soul-sucking job that was providing us health insurance. She worked at the same company for more than six years. They gave her three days notice. Corporate management sure is cruel in its inhumanity. The health insurance racket is even worse.
Does life ever get easier? Short answer: no. I realize that doesn't sound altogether yogic. Not to mention, it was only last month that I waxed poetic on living through the difficulty of winter as the fertile soil of new possibilities. While those ideas hold true and offer some useful perspective, I must admit, they are of little comfort when the rubber meets the road and the tires are running a bit flat.
"Look for the flower to bloom in the silence that follows the storm; not till then. It shall grow, it will shoot up, it will make branches and leaves and form buds, while the storm continues, while the battle lasts.”
Many of you have been privy to the evolution of these posts over the last year. Somewhere along the way, I started thinking of it less as advertising and more an honest inquiry and exchange of thought. My inspiration has been largely fueled by your responses. In particular, two recent correspondences have spurred the sentiments I wish to finish this year with and carry into the new.
My daughter is the best yoga teacher ever. Observing her as she comes into the wonderment of her own body for the first time is the ultimate example. She has learned to bring herself to standing by holding on to the side of her crib and hoisting herself up. Now, whenever she is placed in her crib she must practice. We have difficulty getting her down to sleep because she is so enthralled with her new sense of facility. She looks at me as if to say, "Isn't this amazing?"And I say, "Yes. It is. Isn't it?"
The non-dual interpretation of Yoga that I espouse is often signified by the adage: no steps need to be taken. I have grappled with this adage. Mostly, I wrote it off as a cliche of sorts like "Carpe Diem" or "you could walk outside right now and get hit by a bus." I am intellectually sympathetic to the idea that life is best lived in the present but have found this of little consolation when the strains of life begin to bear down.
On more then one occasion, I have been at a social gathering where, upon learning that I am a yoga teacher, someone says, "Oh, I do yoga. Have you ever heard of P90X?" An appropriate response always seems to elude me…
A couple weeks back, I ran into someone who attended my class regularly in the past but discontinued coming after moving to a new apartment. She told me how much she missed the practice we were doing, that she still goes to yoga classes but they are not the same. She felt compelled to admit to me that there is often injurious things happening in these classes and she has sometimes hurt herself inadvertently. She quickly added, "...but I really like the challenge." The statement struck me because it implied that a simple and more deliberate practice is somehow not a challenge. Actually, being consistently careful and attentive with my breath and body is no small task.
In 1998, I had the rare pleasure of spending some time in the foothills of the Himalayan Mountains. One of the days I was there, we took a day trek to Amayangri Stupa (Amayangri means "the top,") an ancient site dedicated to contemplation and reflection, marked by a modest configuration of stones and tattered prayer flags. This was the highest elevation possible given that I was not a climber and to go any further requires equipment and training.
Those who frequent my class have probably never heard me mention energy or chakras. The reason being that these concepts have been so superficially disseminated into our pop culture as to render them almost entirely cliche. Catch phrases like "feel the energy" or "open your third eye" often make new-age fluff of subtle ancient truths.
Sometimes I question the merits of Yoga Journal Magazine. There are good ideas and inspirational sentiments to be found in this publication but it's difficult to separate from the not always so subtle inclination of effective advertising to exploit low self-esteem. Magazines depicting idealized notions of beauty that make us feel worse about ourselves is nothing new but, in the context of yoga, feels inappropriate…
My mother died of leukemia when I was sixteen years old. In the months leading up to her death, I didn't visit her in the hospital. I went once but after sitting in my car in the parking lot for thirty minutes, I left without going in. I just couldn't. I was not capable of dealing with what was happening. Eventually, I'd be hurried to her bedside regardless: for fear she was not going to make it through the night. I remember the nurse coming into the waiting room quickly and saying, "She's awake!"
The center has been open almost two months now and so far, so good. I met my sales goal in less then two weeks, and at the end of the first month, I was able to cover my operating costs and start paying down the debt. I attribute this entirely to the friendship of long-time students who expressed their support with dollars…
One month away from my official opening day, I oscillate between fear and excitement. On the practical side, I am taking on considerable debt, but if all goes well, I stand to double or triple my income in the next two years. On a heart level, I feel myself on the precipice of an uncharted course...
Becoming a yoga teacher was quite unintentional. Prior to getting married, I was content to earn a modest but adequate living. Now that I have a life partnership and we are considering our future, I find myself compelled to honestly examine the limitations of my profession.
Mary had decided to give Yoga one more chance, and seemed pleasantly surprised to be greeted before class. I believe this was the reason Mary felt comfortable approaching me after class to ask, "Why are Yoga teachers so different, and what kind of Yoga is this?" ...