Classes and Bhajans: Recent Episodes
Rupa Schomaker
This is the swan song episode of The Podcast that has given you MORE THAN JUST THE TIP, each and every week for the last two years. For everyone that has listened to us, we appreciate it more than we can say. Thank you to JJ Dodd, Jamie Gravy, Danny Three Plastes, Jono Gray, Dallas Ivy, Hat Tricks, Deep Ellum On Air, Stacy Rice, Gerd Conor, Frank Mir, Pete Spratt, Shihan The Poet, Bryan "The Texas Law Hawk" Wilson, Charlie Hustle, The Dirtty Show, Jocelyn Stone, Rebecca Love and so many others that we had the opportunity to meet and hang out with for at least a couple of hours that we would have never had if it wasn't for this badass, motherfuckin, #1 unranked, no pussy gettin' podcast!!! Oh yeah...it's an EXPLICIT finale!!
This is one of our casual episodes where it's only JJ and I just talking like always like to do. We cover exciting topics like oral surgery, UFC 209 and whatever else grabbed our attention for this hour. Oh, we drop a major announcement about the show too!!
In this episode we are joined by a nearly lifelong friend of both Larry and JJ, Mr. Michael Van Sant. Michael has a ton of extremely interesting stories, from huntin various nuisance animals, relocating rattlesnakes and even the daily life of raising 5 kids with individual interests and superior athletic talents. This guy's little swimmers were very strong and made some very strong offspring as well.
This week we are joined by Vincent Pratt and Logan Yates, the owner and coach of 3 Stacks of High Society, a Poker school located just North of the Dallas/Ft. Worth metroplex. If it’s poker, we cover it, from terminology, the best places to play, underground games and what not to do and even a few hypothetical games we spring on JJ for an ultimate test of his poker skills!
The Sarge Approved podcast is a male and female podcast team that makes for an extremely interesting dynamic. They feature a variety of guests which may have even included yours truly. Oh yeah, that’s me, Larry. I’m writing this. They join us this week all the way from Minnesota, don’tcha know.
From the Superbowl to Cash Me Ousside, Taboo to Human Centipede and SEALS to the musky scents of sweet delishiousness, this one is an emotional roller coaster that gets wrapped up with more laughter than any one person should ever experience.
I still have no idea what we were seeing at the beginning of this episode. It’s like we were in a Twilight Zone of El’ Chapo trying to escape in what looked like a live feed. Oh well, it was fun to watch, but now we feel just slightly stoopid. We keep up the excitement though and cover Larry’s fashion sense, JJ’s laundry skills, men’s underwear and round it out with a discussion on the price of Vegas call girls.
From yoga to champagne, from New Edition to cupcakes, we cover all aspects of this past week and so much more. I mean so fucking much more. Here’s a toast to all of our listeners! Cheers! You gotta blow out a deep cleansing breath sometimes to cleanse your mind and body of negative energy.Larry’s ego overtook his ability to focus and accomplish more difficult goals, such as breaking concrete in his karate days. Have you seen the video of the MLB player that swung and broke a bat across his back? It was unreal. What does it take to break a baseball bat in half? How much speed does it take to swing a bat so hard it snaps? What fucking song is JJ trying to remember? Take a listen and let us know! New Edition has been back in the spotlight this week since there was a miniseries on BET. JJ tells us about it! The Desert Ninja makes another appearance on this one and shoots JJ’s wheels off! What does that even mean? The list of performers and groups that were offsprings of New Edition is amazing! We talk about it here! According to JJ any music with a soulful sound is R&B music. How do you define it? If Larry was forced to watch a movie 14,000 times, he would choose THIS movie! Larry met this sweet little Christian girl in youth group on Wednesday night and they saw THIS movie as a first date. In high school Larry developed a graffiti “symbol” that spelled this word. Listen to discover the word. Ninja’s were all the rave in the 80’s! JJ wanted to learn ninja stuff, but never knew they practiced Ninjutsu. WTF is this martial art? Did you ever just LOVE going to the store with knives and throwing stars and ninja stuff? JJ really wants dirty adult emojis, but he can’t find they kind that he wants. Have you seen any? Why was an eggplant emoji chosen to represent a dick? What about a banana? This young lady that Larry has known for years posted THIS empowerment meme! Listen to hear what it said! The chics that post the self-empowering meme and pics on Facebook are hilarious to follow. Do you follow anyone like this?Larry loves watching Chad Prathers videos, but JJ does like them at all. We talk about his most recent here. Roast Battle II has been killin it! If you haven’t seen it, you have to catch a replay on Comedy Central! Did the Golden Pony, Tony Hinchcliffe make another appearance at Roast Battle? We’ll tell you here. The comedy club generally has a two item minimum when you go. We’re going this week to see @jamiegravy Have you tried using a Squatty Potty? Someone close to the show has. Listen and see if it’s for you. Larry was his high school’s artist. He designed program covers, champagne flutes and the yearbook. We make fun of him here. JJ and I can’t get enough of Stone Cold Steve Austin’s Broken Skull Ranch!! We tell you all about it here.
In an effort to NOT repeat a half hour movie review we keep things moving this week. Topics range from MLK Day acknowledgements to comparing Boston with Dallas and of course our disappointment with watching the Dallas Cowboys get beat by Greenbay. This doesn’t even begin to include discussions about the media, Trump’s “golden” opportunity, Eeyore, BJ Penn, queso and that dankness they’re trying to legalize in Texas!All of this and at least eleventy other topics. Don’t miss this one...seriously!
Little did we know, this Friday was none other than Friday the 13th! Oh well, some of this week's topics are pretty damn scary themselves. From tasty balls, to prophesies about drones to what some believe to be the longest movie review ever we cover it all and answer the question “Is 91 high, or low?” in the process!
From New Year's Resolutions to community reparations this episode has both, and everything in between. Plus, we take a deep dive into UFC 207 where the Rousey hype train was derailed one more time.
With this being our last episode of the year, we look back on the good and the bad highlights of the year. We talk resolutions, but Larry just isn’t one to set “New Year's Resolutions” because they carry too much stigma with them. But, he promises to share his Marchish Resolutions with us, well...Marchish.It’s a new year, but we still love the intro song! It just gets us pumped on this one! It’s really amazing that Larry is actually married. There were so many opportunities for that to not happen. Larry had a very unique experience when he met his soon to be sister in law at the club! Ever stood on a pool table and waved your dick around at the club? My wife has a rather embarrassing story about clubbing as well. If you’re from Dallas, you may have been to the same club. Do you have any relatives that simply do not understand personal space? JJ accuses Larry of not being willing to help anyone. I just can’t understand why he would say that. NEWSFLASH: 2016 was a harsh year for celebrity deaths. This and a whole lot more on this year end extravaganza!
We take this episode to new heights as JJ drops a brand new bit on us, like literally DROPS it on us! We accidentally have a Word of the Fleek...err, Week! Then we celebrate this wonderful time of the year by closing out the show with some classic, turn of the century Christmas songs! JJ’s wife still finds a way to spend money at the freakin’ hospital craft fair. http://bit.ly/ATWT088 A three hour wait to see some Christmas Lights is WAY too much http://bit.ly/ATWT088 Larry is scared of demons and The Exorcist television show is doin it way too right! http://bit.ly/ATWT088 A little studio cleaning would have saved Larry from drinkin from a week old can o’Coke...bleh! http://bit.ly/ATWT088 I hear Shooter is a good show Ben Hur wasn’t “terribly terrible”, but completely predictable. I’d watch it again. http://bit.ly/ATWT088 The moral of Ben Hur is to follow the fuckin law! Little Ben’s family would have been fine too! http://bit.ly/ATWT088 If the Purge were to happen, would you Purge, or just buckle down and protect the house? http://bit.ly/ATWT088 If you move to Texas during the Purge, be sure to wear a cowboy hat and put a little red makeup on your neck. http://bit.ly/ATWT088 Someone that is listening to the show is supposed to be building me an AR...hint, hint! http://bit.ly/ATWT088 Friday the 13th Part VI was always my favorite, but I tried watching it the other day and it fuckin sucked so bad, it made me mad! http://bit.ly/ATWT088 I’m feelin a little sick, and that can only mean one thing...It’s time for JJ’s new bit!! http://bit.ly/ATWT088 JJ shares with us 5 of the people that he hates and why!! http://bit.ly/ATWT088 Let’s be honest, we spend way too much time sweatin the small stuff when we just need to have a good time. http://bit.ly/ATWT088 Larry, stop saying everything is On Fleek! You don’t even know what it means. http://bit.ly/ATWT088 The first definition of Fleek is not a good one, To shit on one’s education and pull shit out of their ass and call them words. http://bit.ly/ATWT088 On Fleek definitions improve as we progress through the Urban Dictionary definitions. http://bit.ly/ATWT088 I do love an Arby’s roast beef with cheddar, but I don’t like the beef n’ cheddar. http://bit.ly/ATWT088 What the hell is Fake Chow? It is the process of fingering a chic while you make slurping noises pretending to eat her out. http://bit.ly/ATWT088 Do you still bust a nut and then just roll over and go to sleep? http://bit.ly/ATWT088 We listen to a couple of Larry’s favorite baby makin’ tunes and it get’s a bit awkward. http://bit.ly/ATWT088 Do you ever accidentally get the bonus package when you try to force out a fart? I think I do more than I should. http://bit.ly/ATWT088 What are some of your techniques for masking the sound of a fart? Listen and be amazed. If you’re ever around me and I suddenly let out an extra loud cough, I may have just farted. http://bit.ly/ATWT088 Larry used to bang this chic that was a little heavy set and her love box always had a twang to it. http://bit.ly/ATWT088 Which is your favorite between the Christmas Story and Christmas Vacation. http://bit.ly/ATWT088 Can you still take a bath as an adult male? Every have to share a bath with a sibling? http://bit.ly/ATWT088
It’s Christmas time in Hollis Queen and we rap along in our second episode of the Season! Each week will bring more and more frivolity as the carols continue to ring us closer to that wonderful morning on that special day... WTF? WHO WROTE THIS CRAP? JJ has a passionate hatred for the RUN DMC smash hit, Walk this Way featuring Aerosmith!! Larry will watch SNL, but he skips the musical guests before giving them a chance. What is the difference between EDM and Dubstep? Larry tries to explain it, but he should have just STFU. Larry’s moods are easily dictated by the music he’s listening to. For a good pity party, he’ll always turn to Pink Floyd. How are you in one of the most successful bands of all time, Metallica with a name like Lars? 80’s/90’s Hip Hop is the good shit in Larry’s opinion JJ dubbs Insane Clown Posse as the worst band ever after trying multiple albums Juggalos are a very interesting, yet dirty, filthy and stinky with hairy pits and smelly snatches! Grammy’s lost all credibility by giving Justin Bieber and Skrillex a trophy. JT, my man Timberlake would put Larry in tears if he ever got to see him. JJ just might have a mancrush on Adam Levine. That is a unique one for sure. It’s time for JJ to start his weekly segment of “People I hate, and why JJ thinks he’s better than them.” JJ has no shame in his Hater game!! He’s early in his 40’s and he don’t give a fuck! PSA: If you can only get off by nuttin in your girl's eye, you may be watching too much porn - Chris Rock For Bill Cosby, the entire rape scenario was just a game to him. Straight up sex must not have been enough Once you do something for long enough, it’s just part of your daily life. You don’t even recognize you’re doing any thing wrong. A Fly Girl by the Boogie Boys is an old school hip hop one hit wonder. Pee Wee Herman was HUGE in the 80’s and The Pee-Wee Dance by Joeski Love was the jam!! The side effect of fame is gettin paid...and pussy. We’re obviously not there yet. At my age, how would I even go about having a conversation with a 20 y/o chic? JJ is really just a one woman man. He feels guilty not paying 100% attention to his side piece. When you’re feelin down about yourself, you should try a little A/V treatment. Also known as the Additional Vagina Treatment. If you do have a side chic, you have to make sure that are in a relationship too. This establishes an equal opportunity to lose. Have you ever been in one of those stripmall spy store? I went in one the other day to finger bang a home security system. Larry made a HUGE mistake paying the bills because he failed to setup autopay on a major purchase. The Credit Tracker was still showing 100% on time even though, I may have known I missed a payment. It’s disgusting how it is so easy for your credit score to drop off, but so difficult to repair it. Trump is just doin the Pres game his own way and he’s not even President yet!! Just do the damn thing like a fuckin BOSS! Not everyone will like you, even if you’re Donald Trump. Speaking for doing it like a boss! JJ played in an impromptu poker tourney last week and took first place!! Congrats JJ! I gotta tell ya right now cocksucka, I thought I was gonna laugh like a savage at Joey Diaz first stand up special...WRONG!
This episode wasn’t quite what we expected since our guest didn’t answer his phone. He was going to teach us about dabbing, which has something to do with concentrating weed vapors into magical mushrooms or something like that. But, there ain’t no shame in our game, so listen and laugh at us or with us...WDGAF as long as you’re laughin!! Hey hey we’re the Monkees and people say we monkey around. JJ starts hatin’ on my girl DJ Lady Styles talkin’ about her being overrated. JJ is my man 50 grand and all!! He’s the real deal Holyfield! Are you codependent? Larry is. There’s a good chance he never got out of his 20’s Larry needs to grow up and stop caring about what others think. You need to focus on caring about yourself. It’s truly a slippery slope when trying to turn off what people care about. There’s simply no better off road truck than the Ford Raptor Hoarding is something that we just cannot understand, but I’m a fan of the show. Not JJ though. I can handle a little trash here and there, but I’m not a hoarder. LOOK! If there is something on my desk, DO NOT touch it. If you don’t know what it is, then don't touch it. JJ’s son is steppin it up, selling his PS4 so he can take his girl out. JJ got a scam workin to get a real Christmas tree for free! Christmas decorations at the Dodd house is off the chain. Got laser lights all on the house.. The Christmas decorations make it look like JJ has a Captain Crunchberry tree in his front yard! Larry actually bought Tracy a Christmas present. We never do that. Have you seen the dog versus kangaroos verus humans? You HAVE to hear the Ozzy Man review of the kangaroo encounter! We continue our Ozzy Man reviews with a Yoga room of chics twerking and doing full spreadies. This lady at work scared the crap of me the other day by creepin up on me and grabbing MY headphones Lady at work scratched my beard and then ask me if she could sit on my lap and tell me what she wants for Christmas. I’m writing a Christmas rap, but I still have some work to do. Keep listening to hear it as it progresses. They’re buyin summer sausage and popcorn too. That shit ain’t for them, they’re gonna give it to you!! I slid down the chimeny, goddamn that sucked. You didn’t get what you want, I don’t give a fuck! Do you like summer sausage? Let’s be honest, you know you do! Is there anything that gives you chill more than a well performed Haka? The haka is a traditional war cry, dance, or challenge from the M?ori people of New Zealand. The haka is a posture dance performed by a group, with vigorous movements and rhythmically shouted vocals. JJ watched the newest Bert Kreischer special and loved it. I’ll have to check it out. Bill Burr is ruthless when it comes to crushing hecklers. He does hits you so hard you would just have to leave. There is a fight at a football game, and we analyse each individual's reaction. HEY, HEY….HALP, HALP….YOU IDIOTS!! You’re not going to be happy until you paint me into a corner where I have to punch the guy! Is Larry wrong for making fun of this guy at the football game? JJ dated this hot chic once that had never been confronted with challenges in life and he had to break up with her because of it. Congrats to Jamie Gravy on winning the comedy contest! This dude has a bright future ahead of him! JJ is a fan of Chocnilla, but not the biggest fan of the Chocnilla videos. Funniest comedian in Texas is set to be on the show next week so tune in to get your laugh on!
It’s an early walk down memory lane thanks to some shitty impressions by Larry. Are we Baby Boomers, Gen X’ers, Post War Co-horts, Generation Jones or what? JJ lays down the gauntlet on this one! On a side note Yahoo search engine blows donkey dick!! No wonder their shitty site is dying. JJ takes great pleasure in proving Larry wrong. But, he makes me feel guilty for being so stubborn. If you fail as a terrorist, do you still get all the virgins? I say NO! We’ve mentioned Cocks Not Glocks previously, so I’m wondering how someone would fare with a dildo versus a butcher knife. JJ gives up the TV to the kids and wfie every night. But, the kids crash early. Hookers on East Point, holla at your boy! Larry’s daughter got engaged. Pretty cool, other than the fact that her brother had to tell him via text messaging. My wife’s first wedding ring came on the cheap and I still had to put it on lay-away. It’s like white gold with diamelles. JJ experienced a random set of text messages from a number he didn’t recognize, but from someone he did not expect either. GDI!! Stop knocking that fuckin screw all over the desk, clankin around makin all the goddamn noise! My brother is a crazy guy, but he’s smart as hell. He has two degrees for Christ’s sake. I would need roughly 1 million in perpetuity that my mother lived with me. A lump sum of 10 million simply would not work! You know, going to a private school when you’re family is poor is tough! You try living in a trailer and going to one!! This chic that was insanely hot in high school hit the sugar daddy lottery a few years ago with that pussy control!! Our school was so small that even as adults it was difficult to hang out in a group without someone having fucked someone else in the room. JJ banged this HOT chic on his Senior Trip and then saw her back home and she wasn’t havin it. Thanks to an expansion going on in the office, Larry is stuck working in a room packed tight with people and his monitors are facing everyone!! JJ skipped his meds for 3 days. If Larry did that, he’d be spiraling down the rabbit hole with little hope of recovery. I gotta be honest, the new Ghostbusters really wasn’t as bad as everyone made it out to be. JJ simply cannot believe that I actually liked the new Ghostbusters, so much so he accused me of saying it only for shock value. We still struggle understanding how we possibly communicated with each other when we were in high school. Time back then had more relevance. Not only do we remember when pay phones were a dime a call, we just remember PAY PHONES!! It’s so scary to think of how much more shady you would have to be today as compared to how it was back in the day. Young co-workers tell me that it’s simply impossible to cheat on your significant other now days. Remember MySpace? Me and Tom are still friends. MySpace relied more on your profile than your timeline One of my close friends is still family level good friends with his baby momma even with his wife! She hangs out with them too! Why the fuck do I keep hearing my dog bark? I hate his shrill fucking bullshit bark ruining the podcast!! It’s hilarious to see our most powerful coach fall from grace for knocking up a Senior chic. I loved having him wait on me at Applebee’s a few years later. How stupid do you have to be to not wrap your shit up when banging a chic you’re not supposed to be fuckin? I may need to look it up and see if our old coach is a registered sex offender.
Thanksgiving Day is a national holiday celebrated in Canada and the United States. It was originally celebrated as a day of giving thanks for the blessing of the harvest and of the preceding year.It’s Racially Diverse Friday!! A glorious day of stomping the living shit out of everyone around us 12 hours after being thankful for everything. Melania and Little Damien will be living in Trump Tower instead of the Whitehouse. Has a President ever impacted your life DIRECTLY? I personally can’t think of one that has. Politics seem to impact your life if you let it. It’s almost like a way to feel a part of something from those that don’t fit in elsewhere. We are over all of the Presidential politics bullshit. Like Elsa taught us, LET IT GO!! Dave Chappelle was REALLY disappointing on SNL. I enjoyed the Walking Dead skit, but the others not so much. I’m not afraid of knocking you down to keep you grounded. JJ nearly had to do it one night after watchin the fights. JJ tries the check me by telling me not to body shame, immediately after he body shames someone! Was Tosh.0 really all that funny? Tosh was pretty funny in concert though. How does the VP get scolded in the theater? It could have been worse, just ask Lincoln. Zorro, The Gay Blade was one of Larry’s favorite movies when he was a kid. There’s no way this movie could get made today. David Blaine is either extremely talented, demon possessed or his assistants are in on it. Plus so much more!!
Jamie Gravy is back in the house with his new comedy partner, Stacy Cordell! Together they make up Chocnilla Ent. JJ’s new nickname is Big Belly and he’s a rocky road lovin motherfucker!! The Chocnilla logo looks almost like Jamie and Stacy are strokin a mic in a gay, Jungle Fever sort of way. Some of Jamie’s other projects may be a bit of a swing and a miss, but his latest video is a great one! JJ comes out swinging and throwin shade all over the Chocnilla logo. Aint no incongruity here. It’s a big word for a black guy. No Community College here my brotha The goal of both Jamie and Stacy are to use Chocnilla as a vehicle towards an acting career. Stacy loves Saltines, but he hates Crackers. But Jamie, has a degree in G! I’m sitting here trying to have a conversation and these millennials are sitting in front of me, scanning the studio with their phone! Enjoying the moment is no longer enough. Now you have to film the moment and share the moment. There are entirely too many social media platforms. Snapchat is great for creating Snapchat stories. Each social media platform comes with it’s own audience and it’s extremely hard to maintain consistently Twitter is the attention whore of social media. But hey, hoe’s gotta eat too. You gotta rock what God gave ya and eventually you just don’t give a shit. If you could choose, would you go with big dick, little balls or big balls, little dick? Stacy nuts strong, little sperm warriors yelling THIS IS SPARTA every time he nuts .As an public service announcement, as you get fatter it can take over your dick. After the FUPA - FAT UPPER PENIS AREA takes over, you’re left with just the tip. In the 80’s gettin ass was the goal every day. But, now it seems like this generation doesn’t like chasing it. Jamie picked up a chic at Druken Donkey and pounded the shit out of her, taking one for the team. Do you think hairy pussy will ever make a comeback? Did you know that pountine is a delicious side dish from Canada? Now days when you’re runnin game on a female you have to get creative like “Lemme get that twat”. If a white guy is hitting on a black chic, never ever tell her she’s a cute little monkey. What does TWAT even mean? Stacy tells us it’s tight and wet? Is that an acronym? What does coochie mean? It means it’s a hairy pussy. How? Why? Eww! As a little guy, Jamie asked his mom to get him some putang. He was actually talking about Tang! You NEVER accidentally go to the same club as your girl. That’s accidentally on purpose. Whoever is at the club first, gets to stay at the club for the night. Can’t lie. When you got a bad bitch in front of ya… You can’t be held accountable for your actions. No amount of money could make me get caught grinding on someone else in front of my girl. Stacy’s favorite type of woman is a Negro Polar Bear. WTF is a Negro Polar Bear? If Stacy wants a big woman, he’ll get a big white woman with good credit! As long as it’s racial and not racist, then it’s not a problem. Stacy is the one that fucked up the Strokers open mic with a Waco joke in front of the Banditos. Jamie used to hook up with this black chic and he hit it so good, she became a stripper! Ever heard the story of Snacks the crackhead stripper! Prepare to be amazed! Is it called a Kitchen Pass, or a Hall Pass? I can get ‘em when I need ‘em. We try one more time to help them redesign their Chocnilla logo before it’s too late. Ever hear the classic, you’re not under arrest, you’re just being detained? Damn, you White folk sure are good at nicknamin’ races! For all of the Chocnilla laughs as well as information about upcoming gigs, check them out at Chonilla Ent on Intstagram!
The Lone Ranger was cool as hell when I was a kid, but Johnny Depp fucked that memory all to hell. Larry’s rockin his gangster voice while discussing area codes. Poor JJ is kickin rocks and sad doggin the world. It’s just one of those days. JJ is showing distinct results of working out...WRONG. Would you mind a big burly guy giving you a beard massage while you lay back over the hair sink Larry likes to sit as his desk during the day and comb his beard. He’s also been known to leave his comb in the beard like a ‘fro pick. What if you popped a beard massage boner? How would you explain that shit to your Deebo masseuse? JJ’s big dreams are to play a rock, not “The Rock”, but a rock in a Jono Grey production. I think buying digit downloadable content is the way to go when compared to renting. If I like it enough to buy it, odds are, I’ll like it enough to watch it twice. When it comes to Dallas Ivy, Larry doesn’t mind taking on the Creepy Uncle role. Jamie Gravy has a new comedy partner and they will be making their ATWT debut next week. Meanwhile, they’re making funny videos as Chocnilla Entertainment. Larry is still fighting this damn sinus infection. Went to the doctor and took a shot right in the butthole. We’re going to need to find out if the Chocnilla Ent. logo is intentionally designed to look like gay Jungle Fever. We’ve had two President Bushes, and now we’ll have two President Clinton’s. WRONG!!!! If you buy an “autographed copy”, do you think it’s actually autographed by the author? Did you know that Donald Trump’s father was arrested in 1927 while participating in a KKK riot. History has proven that punishment of a family member can cross multiple generations. Back in the day, a fight was a gentlemen’s encounter with assumed rules and a post fight handshake or at times even a bond of friendship. As kids, we would get in serious throw downs and the next day be over at homeboys house askin if he could come out and play. JJ’s not trying to be an old school dad, but he just doesn’t want his son to “download” his childhood. As a gambling addict JJ takes advantage of every opportunity to play poker and NOTHING will get in his way!! On his way to the game, JJ stops at CVS for some cold beer and some small bills and finds a dude having a heart attack in the doorway of the store. JJ really needs to repent in front of the congregation of a mega church. It’s going to take an altar call to fix his soul. Ever been finger banged by your Lord and Savior? WTF you ask? We have it for you, right here. BAM, BAM, BAM, BAM, BAM, BAM, BAM, BAM, BAM, BAM, BAM, BAM, BAM, BAM, BAM, BAM, POW!! #finishitlord Larry, why do you think this video has anything to do with fingerbanging? All you have to do is look at the pastor. This pastor has a ton of ink on him, including what looks like a double SS lightning bolt on his neck. Suddenly, we find ourselves in a Flash Flood Warning! Stay in the Water was a Negro Hymn about following the river to the Underground Railroad. Halloween has been ruined by all of the perceived allergies of this generation. I’m callin bullshit on most of them. How can anyone be allergic to gluten when at one time, that’s all we as humans had to eat? My wife has a nut allergy too, but not the peanut kind. Come on baby, I got the epipen right here. Whenever you’re tryin to land that side piece, you always gotta tell ‘em you ain’t fuckin your main girl. Nah baby, it’s cool. We ain’t fuckin. Our media host Libsyn featured us this week on their show, The Feed! In an effort to put HER responsibilities on everyone else, a mother posted a flyer on how to be a responsibly celebrate Halloween. Halloween Flyer My son has severe allergies and comes home every year devastated that he can’t eat any candy that he’s collected at your homes while Trick or Treating. Don’t exclude my child, or any other child from the fun. This Halloween, practice responsible parenting and DO NOT distribute candy containing nuts of any kind, gluten or dairy. Be mindful of everyone’s child. Here are some tasty and allergy conscience suggestions: Carrot Sticks (Fun to eat, healthy and easy on the teeth) Smarties Necco Wafers Lifesavers Brach’s Lemon Drops Raisins (But stay away from Raisinettes!!!!) Have you ever received actual pennies or pencils in your Halloween haul bag? One year JJ’s mom freaked out about razor blades in apples so much, she posted a newspaper article on their door with a basket of healthy snack alternatives. The healthy snack alternatives did not go over well. Kids vandalized J’s house, broke windows and all sorts of bad shit. Larry didn’t hand out candy this year because kids just dress way to slutty to be going trick or treating. You never know when you may need to call the Texas Law Hawk to cover your ass!!
Stacy used to break Larry mentally way back in the day. But, it made him mentally tougher each time. Criminal that broke into Gerds house seemed to want to be a fighter. Although his best move was taking an ass whoopin. Now days people are given a false sense of security buy literally buying their black belts over a 2-3 year period. Remember the Star Wars kid bouncing around all nimbly bimbly? He’s an anti-bully advocate and lawyer now. Gerd got bullied alot too and he’s not exactly a small dude. But, he is a softy in the center. Bullying continues to happen even in the adult world unless you do something about it. I tend to say things that may occasionally be hurtful, but I really hate accidentally hurting someone's feelings. Bullying can actually be a lesson for you. It can focus your efforts to be a better person. Don’t be afraid to stand up for yourself. A little confidence goes a LONG way. Believe it or not, Larry likes to troll people on Facebook when given the opportunity. Lena Dunham is a less than attractive woman that can’t seem to keep her clothes on. We do not train our children with a better foundation to make safer and smarter decisions Ever seen Revenge of the Nerds? It’s a CLASSIC comedy that introduced alot of young boys to the joys of Titties. While researching the Topless Day festival on www.gotopless.org I stumbled across what appeared to be a fuckin dude. A fuckin dude started the Topless Day Festival by some dude wearing a Star of David with a swastika in the middle? Confused much? Why would chics be shocked to see dudes at a Go Topless event? DERP!! Have you ever heard the 4 chord song? I don’t want to ruin it, but I can assure you that you have! Larry never claimed to be able to sing, but he is like the Stephen Hawking of singing!! Innovation, especially in the realm of human ability is mind boggling. Look at the Olympic gymnasts of the 50’s and compare them to gymnasts of today. I am a no motorcycle drivin kinda guy, but I would love to have a Slingshot! Larry needs to get some girth to stop Ginger from talkin all soft. In a last desperate attempt to have a stylish hairstyle, I grew my hair out longer than I have since high school, but it just didn’t work for long. Do you carry your sidearm while driving? Or, do you keep it in your center console or something? Life revolved around World of Warcraft for years. I actually hooked my wife up with her first in game boyfriend...lol Cocks for Glocks is still going strong as you will hear! Giving out dildos will reduce gun crime...somehow. Are guns on college campuses really a good idea? Rumor has it certain professors wont teach at a school where this was allowed. Gerd’s wife is welcome to use my Tony Little’s Gazelle anytime he, I mean she feels the need. Do you take it in the ass? Do you take it in the ass? Do you take it in the aaaaasssssssss?